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Creating Irresistible Influence with NLP

G S Savnal and Associates Assisting Clients in Achieving and Retaining Competitive Advantage

People Consulting === HR Training | HR Processes | Recruiting

Risk Consulting === Business Continuity | Information Security | Enterprise Risk | Quality Processes

Mumbai – Level 1, Trade Centre, Bandra Complex, Bandra East, Mumbai 400 051 | Tel – (+91-22) 407 00 892

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Nandan Savnal | [email protected] | (+91) 98 201 33 016 | Web: http://www.savnal.in | Page # 1









Table of Contents Sr.

No

Topic Page No.

The Win-Win Agreement 3

I Understand that 4

Background 5

Presuppositions of NLP 6

NLP Philosophy 7

Eye Accessing Cues 8

Rapport: the Structure of Matching 11

Anchoring: Accessing & Re-accessing Representations 13

Representational Systems 14

Meaningful Influence 19

What People Really Want 20

The Meaning of Things and Actions 20

The Pyramid of Influence 21

Metaphors of Identity 22

Metaphors of Business 23

Status and Getting Ahead 24

The Five Life Purposes 25

Life Stories 27

Business Stories 30

Influence and Congruence 31

Influencing Identity 32








The Win Win Agreement

I, G. S. Savnal, will

• ensure that you understand all the topics that are to be covered in the course,

• be available to you, individually, as required by you, for the period of the workshop,

• ensure that you understand and are able to do all the exercises to the required competency,

I, …………………………., will

• attend both days of the workshop,

• be present physically and mentally throughout the period of the workshop

• respect the feelings of fellow participants,

• not speak ill of another person during the workshop or during the future NLP® meetings,

• be participative during the workshop,

• ask questions and seek answers if I do not understand any topic or am unable to do any exercise

to my satisfaction / required competency,

• share the results with friends and family,

…………………… ……………………

G. S. Savnal








Unleash Your Power

I understand that,

• this course gives us insights into how I work & behave and use it to enrich my life and the lives

of people around me,

• NLP® is copyright material and I will respect the copyright,

• medically qualified personnel are the best people to do therapeutic work,

• the change techniques in this workshop are very powerful, and this power comes mainly from

the skill of the person who uses them. E.g. An experienced computer software professional can

write a superb business software that gives excellent result, the same cannot be said of a trainee

programmer.

• this workshop augments the resources of therapy practitioners and is not intended to make a

novice into a therapist.

• this is not a certification workshop.

• I am not certified to teach NLP® by this workshop,

• this workshop is meant for persons with a sound mind and is not meant for persons who are

under psychiatric treatment or who need such or such other treatment,

• I certify that I am of sound mind and that I shall not recommend this workshop to those I think

are undergoing any psychiatric or special assistance or those who need such assistance.

…………………..








Background

Miracles do not happen in contradiction to nature, they happen only in contradiction to what is

known to us of nature!!!

LUCK is a FOUR letter Word, it happens when preparation meets opportunity and I spell it as W O

R K!!!

What does NLP mean?

Neuro stands for Nervous system through which experience is received and processed through

the five senses.

Linguistic stands for Language and nonverbal communication systems through which neural

representations are coded ordered, and given meaning.

Programming stands for the ability to organise our communication and neurological systems to

achieve specific desired goals and results.

NLP IS AN ATTITUDE . . . characterised by the sense of curiosity and adventure and a

desire to learn the skills to be able to find out what kinds of communication influences somebody

and the kinds of things worth knowing . . . to look at life as a rare and unprecedented

opportunity to learn.

NLP IS A METHODOLOGY . . . based on the overall operational presupposition that all

behaviour has a structure . . . and that structure can be modeled, learned, taught, and changed (re-

programmed). The way to know what will be useful and effective are the perceptual skills.

NLP has evolved as an innovative TECHNOLOGY enabling the practitioner to organise

information and perceptions in ways that allow them to achieve results that were once

inconceivable.








Presuppositions of NLP®

• The ability to change the process by which we experience reality is more often valuable than

changing the content of our experience of reality.

• The meaning of communication is the response you get.

• All distinctions human beings are able to make concerning our environment and our behaviour

can be usefully represented through the visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory

senses.

• The resources an individual needs to effect a change are already within them.

• The map is not the territory.

• The positive worth of the individual is held constant, while the value and appropriateness of

internal and/or external behaviour is questioned.

• There is a positive intention motivating every behaviour; and a context in which every

behaviour has value.

• Feedback vs. Failure - All results and behaviours are achievements, whether they are desired

outcomes for a given task/context or not.








N L P

NLP® is the art and science of personal excellence. Art because everyone brings their unique

personality and style to what they do, and this can never be captured in words or techniques.

Science because there is a method and process for discovering the patterns used be outstanding

individuals in any field to achieve outstanding results.

In order to be successful in life you need three things. First, a clear idea of your outcome in any

given situation, second, sensory acuity to notice what you are getting and third you must have the

flexibility to keep changing what you do until you get what you want.

‘Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it’s the only one you have.’ Roger Von Oech - A

whack on the side of the head. Having only one way of doing things is no choice at all.

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. If what

you are doing is not working do something else.

Another definition of insanity: ‘Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different

results.’

The more the flexibility of thought and action, more the choices. And more the choices the more

are the chance of success.

Outcomes

‘Would you tell me, please which way I ought to go from here ?’

‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the cat.

‘I don’t care where . . .’ said Alice.

‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.’ Said the cat.

Alice in wonderland, Lewis Caroll








Eye Accessing Cues

We have five senses, viz. visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory and gustatory. We take the

information of the outside world through these senses and also process the information internally in

that fashion.

By carefully observing the eye movements, we can get clues as to how he / she stores and processes

the relevant information.

Right Left

Eye Eye

Visual Construct : V Visual Remembered : V Seeing images of things Seeing images of things that

never seen before, i.e. have been seen before.

constructing the images e.g. What is the colour of

the minds eye e.g. How your favourite shirt ?

would a Black Taj Mahal

look ?

Auditory Construct : A Auditory Rem. : A Hearing sounds that he / she Remembering sounds

has not heard before. that the person has

e.g. How would Pt. Jasraj has heard before.

sound if he were to sing e.g. How does

Hakuna Matata ? your door bell

sound ?

Kinesthetic : K Auditory Digital : A Feeling emotions, tactile Talking to oneself.

sensations (sense of touch) e.g. What is that you

e.g. Are your feet warm now ? often say to yourself ?

It should be noted that there are no right or wrong movements. It is just that these movements

(patterns) have been observed over a very large majority of persons. These movements are for a

normal right handed persons. These movements could be reverse for a left handed person. It is

advisable that you calibrate with each person over a series of situations before coming to any

conclusions.








Eye Accessing Questions

1. When was the last time you saw a goat?

2. What colour is your car?

3. How would a green dog with red horns look like?

4. What colour is your bedroom?

5. How would you look fifteen years from now?

6. Which is your favourite song?

7. With whom was your last telephone conversation?

8. How would Michael Jackson sound if he sings “Meri Samne Wali Khidaki Mein Ek Cahnd Ka

tukda Rehta Hai …”?

9. Sing / say your name backwards

10. Can you differentiate between a dog barking and a cat purring?

11. Are your feet warm now?

12. When was the last time you became wet in the rain?

13. How did it feel?

14. What did you have for lunch yesterday?

15. Describe a cross breed between a rhino and a cat

16. Can you feel the toes now?

17. How are you going to use the learnings of this workshop?

18. Which way does your house door open?

19. How would you look with orange hair?

20. How do you sound when you are angry?








Rapport

The Structure of Matching

Most successful people have one thing in common and that is getting along with people. They have

an uncanny ability to get into rapport with the right kind of people at the right time. They seem to

do it so effortlessly.

The basic rapport-building is Matching. Matching is the process whereby you adjust the same

aspect of your external behaviour to approximate those same aspects of the other person’s external

behaviour. The ongoing process of matching is referred as Pacing.

You can create powerful states of Rapport by a variety of behavioural outputs. Mastering the art of

matching will develop your ability to establish rapport with anybody you choose.

One needs to be careful and elegant to do this. You need to ensure that it does not amount to

mimicking the other person. A lot of practice is necessary and is worth it once this aspect is

mastered.

Whole Body Matching

Matching of the entire body in line with the way the other person’s posture.

Body Part Matching

Pacing any consistent body movements; hand movements, leg movements etc.

Half Body Matching

Match the upper or lower body of the other person’s body.








Head / Shoulders Angle Patterns

Match characteristic poses that the other person offers with his / her head, and shoulders.

Vocal Qualities

Match shifts in tonality, tempo, volume, timbre, intonation patterns.

Verbal

Hear and utilise sensory system predicates and match and pace the sequence of

representational system predicates used by the other person.

Facial Expressions

Matching the other person’s facial expressions; i.e. raising the eyebrows, movements, lip

movements, etc.

Gestures

Matching the gestures of the other person in an elegant and graceful manner.

Repetitive Phrasing

Utilise the repeated phrase of the other person.

Breathing

Adjust your breathing patterns to match the other person’s breathing patterns.

Indirect Matching (Cross-Over Matching)

Using one aspect of your behaviour to match a different aspect of the other person’s

behaviour; i.e. adjusting the tempo of voice to match the other person’s rate of breathing, pacing the

other person’s breathing with movement of your hands.








Anchoring

Emotional states have a powerful and pervasive influence on thinking and behaviour. It is possible

to use them to become more and more resourceful in the present. This means that we can switch to

our most resourceful state the time when we need to. We all have a very rich past which have

served us well and have brought us to the present. All of us, even the most despondent, have in our

past situations in which we have done well.

Once the situations are identified, elicited and calibrated we need to be able to use them to become

more and more resourceful in present. This is possible through a procedure we call anchoring.

An anchor is essentially a representation which triggers another representation. An anchor could be

internally or externally generated. All experiences are represented as gestalts of sensory

information. Whenever any portion of a particular experience or is introduced, other portions of

that particular experience will be reproduced to some degree. Any portion of the particular

experience, then may be used as an anchor to access another portion of that experience.

Though it is not necessary that anchors be conditioned over long periods of time in order to be

established, repeated stimuli can reinforce the anchor. The more intense the experience that the

individual is having at the time the anchor is “set”, the stronger the response will be when the

anchor is “triggered” at a later date. Phobias are an example of powerful anchors that, in most

cases, are established in a single very brief and intense learning experience.

In creating an anchor, timing the application of the trigger stimulus precisely to associate it with the

state you want is critical. The ideal timing of setting the anchor is which corresponds to the final

increase, and peaking, of the intensity of the state you are capturing with the anchor. Anchoring the

state as it is increasing in intensity sets a direction for the mind to follow.

Anchors can be established in all representational systems, as well as their components parts; i.e.

external, internal, sights, sounds, feelings, smell, and tastes.








Representational System

The most thoroughly studied and best understood of the representational systems of human

modeling maps is that of human language. The most explicit and complete model if natural

language is transformational grammar. Transformational grammar is, therefore , a meta model - a

representation of the structure of human language - itself a representation of the world of

experience.” - Structure of magic - Part II.

Structure of Magic - Part II dissects the inputs channels and points the ways in which we can

identify and use them. It starts by ( Structure of Magic - Part I ) establishing ‘the map is not the

territory.’ As Aldous Huxley points out, the doors of perception are the senses, our eyes, nose, ears,

mouth and skin, and these are our only points of contact with the world. There are three major input

channels by which we, as human beings, receive information about the world around us - sight,

sound, and body sensations. The remaining two channels - smell and taste are used to a lesser

extent and only during special jobs like eating etc. We see through a complex series of active

perceptual filters. The same is true of our other senses. The world we perceive is not real world,

the territory. It is a map by our neurology. What we pay attention to in the map is further through

our beliefs, interests and preoccupations. We can learn to allow our senses to serve us better.

People have a tremendous wealth and richness of sensory information available to them in all

systems at any given moment in time. Sensory input is filtered to them in various ways by the

Central Nervous System, thereby allowing a limited amount of sensory information into conscious

awareness at any one time. This filtering mechanism screens perceptual input via a set of

systematic operations : DELETION, DISTORTION, GENERALISATION .. which are collectively

referred to as UNIVERSAL MODELLING PROCESSES. Without these neurological filters,

people would be overwhelmed by a constant deluge of irrelevant information. These modeling

processes make it possible for human beings to maintain coherent models of their experience.

Consequently, the perceptions that constitute conscious experience are thereby necessarily restricted

to a limited number of perceptual (Submodality) distinctions at any one moment. Even though

these Universal Modeling Processes make available a vast range of possibility and opportunities in

human creativity, they also explain how people can come to have “limitations” or “problems” with

various aspects of their experiences.








The representation of perceptual experience into coherent chunks necessitates the deletion of a great

deal of sensory input.

Therefore, all perceptions are based on a facsimile representation . . . the meaning of “facsimile” in

this case being that any representation is just a way of systematically coding information about

“reality” . . . it is not “reality.” In this way, all perceptions can be said to be accurate based on the

internal representations from which they have been derived … yet incomplete.

Communication starts with our thoughts, and we use words, tonality and body language to convey

them to the other person. When we think about what we saw, hear and feel, we recreate these

sights, sounds and feelings inwardly. We re-examine information in the sensory form in which we

first perceived it. Sometimes we are aware of doing this, sometimes not. The easiest way to

experience this is to remember the last time you were on the holiday and think about it. How do

you remember it ? Maybe pictures come to your mind or perhaps some sounds. Or maybe you

recall how wonderful it felt. Thinking is such an obvious, commonplace activity, we never give it a

second thought. We tend to think about what we think about, not how we think about it. Also we

tend to assume that other people think in the same way as we do.

We use our senses outwardly to perceive the world, and inwardly to ‘re-present’ experience to

ourselves. In NLP™ the ways we take in, store and code information in our minds - seeing,

hearing, feeling, taste and smell - are known as representational systems.

The visual systems, often abbreviated to ‘V’, can be externally (e) when we are looking at the

outside world (Ve), or (i) when we are mentally visualising (Vi) In the same way the auditory

system (A) can be divided into hearing external sounds (Ae) of internal (Ai). The feelings sense is

called is called the kinesthetic system (K). External Kinesthetics (Ke), include tactile sensations like

touch, temperature and moisture. Internal kinesthetics (Ki), include remembered sensations,

emotions, and the inner feelings of balance and bodily awareness, known as the proprioceptive

sense, which provide us with the biofeedback about our movements. Without them we could not

control our bodies in space with our eyes closed. The vestibular system is an important part of the

kinesthetic system. It deals with our sense of balance, maintaining the equilibrium of our whole

body in space.

Visual, auditory and kinesthetic are the primary representation system used in Western cultures.

The sense of taste, gustatory (G) and smell, Olfactory (O), are not so important and are often

included in the kinesthetic sense. They often serve as powerful and immediate links to the sights,

sounds and pictures associated with them.

We use all the three of the primary systems all the time although we are not equally aware of them

all and we tend to favour some over others. Representational systems are not mutually exclusive.








It is possible to visualise a scene, have the associated feelings and hear the sounds simultaneously,

although it may be difficult to pay attention to all three at the same time. Some parts of the thought

process will be unconscious. The more a person is absorbed in their innerworld of sights, sounds

and feelings, the less he or she will be able to pay attention to the external world.








The concept of Preferred Representational Systems

We use all our senses externally all the time, although we will pay attention to one sense more than

another depending on what we are doing. In an art gallery we will use mostly our eyes, in an

concert, our ears. What is surprising is that when we think, we tend to favour one, perhaps two

representational systems regardless of what we are thinking about. We are able to use them all, and

by age 11 or 12 we have already have clear preferences.

Many people can make clear mental images and think mainly in pictures. Others find this

viewpoint difficult. They may talk to themselves a good deal, while others base their actions mostly

on their feel of the situation. When we tend to use one internal sense habitually, this is called their

preferred or primary system in NLP®; they are likely to be more discriminating and able to make

finer distinctions in this system than in the others. This means some people are naturally better, or

‘talented’ at particular tasks or skills, they have learned to become more adept at using one or two

internal senses and these have become smooth and practised, running without effort or awareness.

Sometimes a representational system is not so well developed, and this makes certain skills more

difficult. No system is better in an absolute sense than another, it depends what you want to do.

Language, Representational Systems and Predicates

We use language to communicate our thoughts so it is not surprising that the words we use reflect

the way we think. John Grinder tells of the time when he and Richard Bandler were leaving a

house to lead a Gestalt therapy group. Richard was laughing about someone who had said, “ I see

what you are saying.”

“Think about it literally,” he said. “What could they possibly mean?”

“Well,” said John, “Lets take it literally; suppose it means that people are making images of the

meaning of the words that you use.”

This was an interesting idea. When they got to the group, they tried an entirely new procedure on

the spur of the moment. They tool green, yellow and red cards and had people go round the group

and say their purpose for being there. People who used a lot of words and phrases to do with

feelings, got a yellow card. People who used a lot of words and phrases to do with hearing and

sounds got green cards. Those who used the words and phrases predominantly to do with seeing

got red cards.

Then there was a very simple exercise. People with the same colour card were to sit down and talk

together for five minutes. Then they sat down and talked to somebody with a different colour card.

The differences they observed in rapport between people were profound. People with the same

colour card were getting on much better. Grinder and Bandler thought this was fascinating and

suggestive.








We use words to describe our thoughts, so our choice of words will indicate which representational

system we are using. The sensory based words, adjectives, adverbs and verbs are called predicates

in NLP® Habitual use of one kind of predicate will indicate a person’s preferred representational

system.

Example of Representational Systems

Visual (Looks / see)

appear focus notice perceive sight

clarity glance observe picture show

foresee look obvious see watch

Auditory (say / sound / hear)

articulate gossip interview noise say

boisterous hear listen remark sound

discuss inquire mention ring tell

Kinesthetic (feel / do)

affected emotional hassle pressure tension

charge foundation hold shift touch

concrete grasp motion solid unsettled

Olfactory / Gustatory (smell / taste)

aroma reeks smells tasty spicy

dank rotten sweet delicious zesty

musty stinks tangy bland bitter

Unspecified

activate decide know organise think

consider develop manage plan understand

create function motivate prepare








Meaningful Influence

Influence only happens when something means something. After all, if something is

meaningless, it might get our attention for a moment, but it doesn’t influence us. It

doesn’t stay with us. When something means something to us, it affects our emotions

and our actions. The meaningfulness of something affects our degree of feeling. The

more meaningful it is, the more emotions we will have about it. Influence is the ability

to affect what something means.

• Ask yourself: What does what I am saying and doing mean to this person?

What else could it mean? What could I do to encourage that?








What People Really Want (The NLP Criteria Model)

• Everything that people want, they want because of the values they feel will be fulfilled.

• People evaluate everything based on whether or not these values are being fulfilled.

• Values are the desirable qualities of things and experiences, not the things or experiences.

• Many people don’t know that their values can be fulfilled by other things or experiences.

• A person’s most important values are related to each other and form a Value Matrix.

• When you acknowledge and fulfill a person’s Value Matrix, you increase your influence.

• Asking for values: What do you like about...?

What attracted you to...?

• Asking for higher values: What's important to you about...?

What do you value about...?

• Finding out the “have to” values (the Value Matrix): Values can be desirable (want, would like, prefer) or

necessary/driving (need, must have).

What is essential or necessary?

What is most important to you?

What has to be there?

The Meaning of Things and Actions • Every thing, action, and experience has both a Utility Value and an Identity Value.

• The Utility Value is the actual usefulness.

The Identity Value is all of the other qualities.

• A person’s things and actions are expressions of their Identity Values, and thus their identity.

• The Identity Values/qualities are expressions of a person’s Value Matrix.

• Seeing values in clothes, personal objects, and environments: What are the outstanding qualities?

What can their clothes, personal objects, and environments tell you about this person?

Ask about these. (See questions from page 4.)

• Inferring values from actions, reactions, feelings, and beliefs: Values can be met, not met, violated, exceeded, or ignored and they are still being used.

How would you feel if all of your criteria (values/beliefs in this area) were being met (not met, violated, exceeded, ignored)








The Pyramid of Influence (The NLP Neurological Levels Model)

• There are degrees of influence.

• You can influence a person’s Environment with billboards, TV ads, memos, etc.

• You can influence their Behavior with laws/rules and enforcement and rewards.

• You can influence the Capabilities they engage with incentives, money, and membership.

• You can influence which Values and Beliefs they hold with authority and social pressure.

• And you can address their Identity (who a person thinks and feels s/he is or wants to be).

• Identity is the most significant form of influence. Identity lets people know which

Values and Beliefs are theirs, which of their Capabilities to engage, and what Behaviors to use with

them. Identity guides people to create Environments that are more aligned with their inner image.

• The more your communication moves up the Pyramid of Influence, the more influential you will

be.

IDENTITY Who are you?

VALUES & BELIEFS Why do you...?

CAPABILITIES How do you...?

BEHAVIOR What do you do...?

ENVIRONMENT Where do you...? When do you...?








Metaphors of Identity

• Metaphors simplify the ambiguity and complexity of life with vivid and compelling images.

• Everyone uses metaphors to make sense of things, especially their lives.

• Each Metaphor of Identity has its own distinct Pyramid of Influence and Value Matrix.

• Speaking to people in the language of their Metaphors of Identity is extremely influential.

• Asking for metaphors: What does that mean to you...?

What does that remind you of...?

What is that like...?

What is that a symbol of...?

• Seeing metaphors in clothes, personal objects, and environments: What is outstanding? What is the whole picture? What things fit together as a group?

What can their clothes, personal objects, and environments tell you about this person?

Ask about these. (See above questions.)

• Inferring metaphors from actions, reactions, feelings, and beliefs: Imagine that people’s actions are visible symbols of values and beliefs.

What do you see?

What do these say about them?

• Finding out the Metaphors of Identity: People can be more or less identified with any metaphor.

When a person does identify with a metaphor, s/he experiences that it is real.

This is a Metaphor of Identity.

What is ______ for you?

What is life like for you? What best symbolizes life for you?








Metaphors of Business

The most common Metaphors of Business today are:

Journey Highlights: destination/lost, travel, adventure/wealth, unpredictability, a long time

Hides: complexity in business

Leadership: Captain, Guide

Game (professional sports) Highlights: winning/losing, difficulties, fun, teamwork, coordination, a limited time

Hides: ambiguity in business; misplaced sense of winning

(money? market? awards?)

Leadership: Coach

War Highlights: victory/defeat, extreme risk, strategy, hierarchy, coordination, indefinite time

Hides: inherent extremism in the face of daily business needs; overly bold leadership

Leadership: General

Machine Highlights: seriousness of purpose, tools, rationality, calculability, predictability, repetition

Hides: people and feelings in a business; neglects ambiguity an individual intuitions

Leadership: Designer, Operator

Organism Highlights: personhood: intentions, reactions, feelings; domestication (cash cow), complexity,

ambiguity, developmental

Hides: social Darwinism/determinism of employee roles; it’s not always a struggle for survival

Leadership: Brain, Farmer

Society

Highlights: Traditional: preservation of the social classes for cohesiveness and order

Modern: Vision of social mobility and freedom of choice for everyone

Hides: coercive and artificial cultures

Leadership: Autocrat, Statesman, Shaman

The new Metaphors of Business are

Dynamic Systems and Learning Organizations.








Status and Getting Ahead (The NLP Submodalities and Timeline Models)

Status • Status is how people and companies measure the fulfillment of their

Metaphors of Identity.

• All status is based on either a high/low (ve rtical) hierarchy or big/small (size) comparisons.

• Asking for an individual or company’s Status Hierarchy: What is the worst thing that could happen to a …?

What is the ultimate expression of …?

Remember, status is expressed in many different ways depending on the community.

• Ask yourself where you are in an individual or company’s Status Hierarchy: Who am I in the life of my client/customer?

Are they seeking an advisor? An expert? An assistant? A colleague?

Who is the authority? (according to your client, colleague, etc.)

Take the status role they want you to, as that is really the most influential.

The Perception of Status • People want to be moving up to bigger and better things which take them higher.

Up More Higher Brighter Bigger

Down Less Lower Darker Smaller








Getting Ahead

• The idea of getting ahead (and falling behind) is based on time as a distance

to be travelled.

• People want to be moving up instead of down. They want to be moving forward

instead of back.

• Whether they know it or not, most people have an expected rate of progress in

their minds.

• When they don’t achieve their status milestones on schedule, they feel they

are behind.

• Asking for a rate of progress: Where are you at?

So, how’s it going?

Here Sequence of milestones along the way There

You will increase your influence by acknowledging their current rate of progress.

You will greatly increase your influence by showing how what you offer will speed

them on their way.

The Five Life Purposes (An Application of the NLP Content Meta-Program Model)

Of everything in the world, most people only find certain kinds of content meaningful.

The content people find meaningful minute-to-minute shapes their ultimate Life Purpose.

People and organizations fulfill their Metaphors of Identity through their Life Purposes.

The Life Purpose speaks deeply about what is most meaningful and thus most influential.

• The 5 Life Purposes are:

Acquiring, Accomplishing, Belonging, Experiencing, Learning.

• The Purposes are expressed in everyday life:

Things, Activity, People, Being, Information.

• The Life Purpose can be heard in the words people use, what they do, and what they have.

• A person or company’s Life Purpose is usually a combination of two or three of them.

• Use the chart to pinpoint the areas between the words to show the mix.

(E.g.: Someone who is always doing things would be in the lower right quadrant.

Someone who has to understand people would be in the upper left quadrant.

Someone who is in the zone as they play would be between Activity and Being.)








INFORMATION know/understand learning KNOWLEDGE (e.g., books/CDs)

PEOPLE BEING THINGS relate/connect aware/fee get/have belonging experiencing acquiring COMMUNITY ACCEPT WEALTH (e.g., friends/family) (e.g., trips/photographs) (e.g., money/cars)

ACTIVITY act/do accomplishing PRODUCTION (e.g., trophies/personal milestones)








Life Stories

• Whenever people talk about the events of their lives it is in the form of a story.

• Stories provide continuity, consistency, coherence, and comprehensiveness.

• Life Stories explain past actions and events and create future expectations.

• Life Stories are how people make sense of their efforts to fulfill their Life Purpose.

• The Metaphors of Identity are the content and images of the Life Story.

• The Plot is the actions and events around the current Status/Progress.

• You move your story forw a rd by putting your offering in the “middle” of their story.

• Your offering is a solution/enhancement to the current predicament of their plot.

• Asking for stories: What’s going on?

Tell me what’s been happening.

How do you think/feel this is going to go?

What’s the story?

• Seeing stories in clothes, personal objects, and environments: What metaphors/symbols do their clothes, personal objects, and environments tell you about this

person?

What has happened (and what do you suppose will happen) to them?

Ask about these changes. (See above questions.)

• Inferring stories from actions, reactions, feelings and beliefs: Imagine that people’s actions and feelings are the sequences of their story.

What do you see?


• Finding out the Life Story: Ask how “things” have been going.

Notice familiar patterns in the person’s life. (Repeat relationships, careers, etc.)

Ask about a favorite story or movie. Have the person tell it to you (their version).

Pay attention to the story pattern (plot) and the story/movie’s desired outcome.








Life Stories: Plots and Paths • To understand the Plot of their Life Stories, many people think of the time of their l i ves as space. They think of themselves as ahead or behind, as off- track or o n - t ra c k, as just too far away or close enough to taste it, as stuck or charging ahead, as going in circles or on target, as bogged down or set fre e, as held back or speeding ahead, as running on empty or a on full tank. • Most people want to be moving forward and moving up, not going backwards or down. • Most people think they want a completely trouble-free story, but that would be a boring life. • People want to be the hero; they want to make a difference, to matter. • You will greatly increase your influence by acknowledging that and assisting them. Time is Space: Here Sequence of milestones along the way There The Plot Path: ahead/behind, off-track/on-track, too far/close enough, stuck/charging ahead, going in circles/on target

Over Opening

Here Breakthrough There

Under Around








The Plot Difficulties:

There are four kinds of difficulties. When you hear words related to that difficulty,

then you know what kind of resolution the person is looking for. People can and do

often have more than one.

Barriers and Gaps —

blocked, trapped, held back, too high, can’t go around, can’t cross

Terrains —

stuck, uphill, too hard, rough, too many potholes, walking on eggshells

Burdens —

bogged down, overwhelmed, buried, crushed

Energy —

running out,run down, empty

• For maximum influence, whatever Plot someone tells you, acknowledge its current

state and make your offer in a way that demonstrates how s/he can be the hero, can

be the active agent in their own story and how, within their Plot, your offering will

help them do that.








Business Stories • Business Stories provide continuity, consistency, coherence, and comprehensiveness.

• The Business St o ry makes sense of employee s’ efforts to fulfill the company’s Life Purpose.

• The Business Story tends to be related to the Life Story of the CEO.

• Business Stories tend to be simpler than an individual’s.

• The Plots of Business Stories too often tend toward “and then a miracle occurred.”

• Business Stories explain past actions and events and create future expectations.

• You will move your Life Story forward by aligning yourself with your Business’ Story.

• Asking for stories: What’s been going on?

Tell me what’s been happening.

How do you think/feel this is going to go down?

What’s the story here?

• Seeing stories in clothes, personal objects, and environments: What metaphors/symbols does the architecture, interior decorating, allowed personal objects, and

the acceptable clothing tell you about this business?

What has happened (and what do you suppose will happen) to the business?

Ask about these changes. (See above questions.)

• Inferring stories from actions, reactions, feelings, and beliefs: Imagine that the employees as a group engaged in activities that are the sequences of a story. What

do you see?


• Finding out the Business Story: Notice familiar patterns in the CEO’s life. (Repeat relationships, careers, etc.)

Ask about the CEO’s favorite story or movie.

Have him/her tell it to you (their version).

What are the current stories of business in the financial news programs, newspapers and

magazines.

Which one does the CEO identify with.








Influence and Congruence

• The greatest influence comes with congruence.

• Embracing who you are is the shortest path to becoming who you want to be.

My highest criteria and my necessary criteria are: ___________________________ ___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

My Metaphor(s) of Identity is:___________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

I know this from evidence and examples in my:

Values ______________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

Beliefs ______________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

Capabilities _________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

Behavior ____________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

Environment (lifestyle and stuff)_________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

My preferred Content and Purpose are: ___________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

Therefore: I am________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

I believe _____________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

I highly value ________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

I act in accordance with_________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

My Personal Influencing Style is:_________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________








Influencing Identity

• Everyone is trying to enroll everyone else as a character in their story.

• Unaware of this, most people play their roles badly and are dismissed.

• You, on the other hand, have decided to play a meaningful role in their Life Story, helping them to

become more of who they are or want to be and achieving their Life Purpose.

Life Story: • What is the Metaphor of Identity?

• What is the Life Purpose?

• What is the Plot?

Your story continues ... now!

Today you opened an exciting new chapter of your life. One that can be the most exciting and

fulfilling adventure you can imagine. What you do next will determine how your future unfolds for

you. You can close this reference guide and leave its secrets of influence to be discovered by

someone else. Or you can embrace this knowledge and make influence the magic that transforms

your life.

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