peer friends
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TRANSCRIPT
PEERS & FRIENDS
Q OF THE DAYThink of your most memorable
moment with a friend/friends and write about it. What made it special, memorable, fun, serious, etc.
JOURNAL What are qualities you want in a good
friend? (Ex: caring, trustworthy, someone
who listens, someone with good advice, etc.)
Write down as many things as you can
6 MOST IMPORTANT DECISIONS
Everyone = 91-93 (top of) 1 = What’s at your center? 2 = It’s all about popular 3 = Queen Bees, Wanna Bees, Gamma Girls 4 = Quirks, Faults, and Foibles 5 = Mean Girls, Gossips, and bullies 6 = Crabs and Competition 7 = How come you don’t kick with us no
more?
WHAT’S AT YOUR CENTER?! Are Friends at your center? ANY PROBLEMS…?
Friends are imperfect, unstable, and human They move They change
What SHOULD be at our center? PRINCIPLES
Honesty…Respect…Responsibility Principles never fail Principles are MAGNETIC!
POPULAR: DARK VS LIGHT SIDE
Dark Side Stuck up, snotty,
think you’re better than others
Light Side people that are well
liked and respected because they are genuine decent people (PRINCIPLE CENTERED )
QUEEN BEE, WANNA BEE AND GAMMA GIRL
Queen bee: popularity means everything. Protect clique at all cost and will boot anyone out who tries to threaten their reign.
Wanna bee: Those who do whatever it takes to get in with the Queen Bee.
Gamma Girl/Boy: kids who may not be known as “popular” but they are comfortable with who they are, they like their parents, are smart, and are kind!
QUIRKS, FAULTS AND FOIBLES
Just like you, your friends are trying to figure out who they are and what the purpose of life is….
There is a time to forgive and a time to draw the line….
MEAN GIRLS, GOSSIP, & BULLIES
Gossip we can do things about… Confront it….(I-message ) Live above it. Ignore it and move on
TREAT EACH OTHERS REPUTATIONS WITH CARE!
LEAVE PEOPLE BETTER THAN WHEN YOU FIND THEM
CRABS & COMPETITION Crabs?? …..
Friends pulling you down?
Compare clothes, looks, abilities and compete
Think WIN/WIN I want to win and you
can win too
HOW COME DON’T YOU KICK WITH US ANYMORE?
Friends change…and that’s okay.
Big difference between abandoning your friends and developing new friends because your interests change.
Don’t get upset if your naturally start drifting apart because your interests take you in different directions
QUICK REVIEW!! BE the type of friend you WANT in others!
Be PRINCIPLE centered friend MAGNET!!!
We all should want to be POPULAR.
But HOW do we make NEW friends? Care about them Ask questions Be PRINCIPLE centered
FRIEND MAKING SKILLS You will develop many kinds of friendships
throughout your life. Some will be more important to you than others
Common attributes of Friends Similar values, interests, beliefs and attitudes Share joy/disappointment/dreams and concerns Respect, care and support Concern for each others safety
THE NEWLY FRIEND GAME!
Pairings….
Cake/cookie stomach/ache salt/pepper
Ebony/ivorychocolate/chip nurse/DR String/cheese Reeses/pieces night/day Ice/cream dog/cat early/late Bread/jam loose/tooth Black/white hubba/bubba Peanut/butter straw/berry
MAKING & BEING A FRIEND
Be slow to judge YOU make the effort Build the RBA Be Inclusive Treat Unkindness
with kindness Lift others
“You can’t make people like you, but you can always make yourself more likable.” **Covey
6 WAYS TO BE MORE LIKEABLE Dale Carnegie
1. Become genuinely interested in other people
2. SMILE!!! 3. Remember that a person’s name is to that
person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener5. Encourage others to talk about
themselves. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important And do it sincerely
It takes a great deal of COURAGE to stand up to your ENEMIES,
but a great deal more to stand up to your
FRIENDS.
PEER PRESSURE When you feel pressured by people in your
age group to act a certain way.
Positive PP: when your friends expect good things from you
Negative PP: when your friends persuade you to conform or do something you don’t want to do
Remember your life centered on PRINCIPLES…not FRIENDS
NEGATIVE PEER PRESSURE
Harassment: Persistently annoying others
Manipulation:indirect, dishonest way to control or influence other people
PEER PRESSURE SHIELD
ASSERTIVE REFUSAL SKILLS State Your Position:
NO, firmly and simply
Suggest Alternatives: Suggest another activity
Stand Your Ground: Make it clear you meant what you said Remove yourself from the situation
JOURNAL Think of a time when you were pressured.
Who pressured you? What activity/behavior were you being pressured
to do? What arguments did the person/people
pressuring you use? How did you respond? If you tried to resist, what
did you say or do? What might you say or do in the future to resist
peer pressure?
4 RED FLAGS You may want to suggest a new group
of friends if…. You have to change your clothes, language,
friends, or standards in order to keep your friends.
You’re doing stuff you don’t feel good about, like stealing, fighting, or doing drugs.
You feel like you’re being used
Your life feels out of control