a.k.a. The shit I have to learn in school

Once upon a time, I had a crazy lady for my biology professor.

On the first day of class she asked students not to drunk dial her, or send “sexts” to her, as she would not appreciate them. Hmm…thanks for the update. I still can’t get over the fact that she said “sexts”. It put a foul vision in my head that I am still trying to shake to this day…for she is NOT an attractive eh..lady.

Some orchids trick insects into wanting to screw them. And you thought they were just pretty.

They also may give off odors such as dirty diapers or cat urine. Hmm…we must be talking about some pretty kinky bees huh?

Not only that, but after the bee has been duped by the highly promiscuous

flower-they dub the poor bastard a “flying penis” and he will carry on and

spread the slutty orchids seed.

. Rude. If I were the damn bee I’d press charges.

Penis fencing, is a sexual Fight Club….Basically the pair go at it,

thrusting their junk at the other until one has contact and is able to fertilize

the other one.

Winner gets off.

Loser get pregnant.

In a 6 page study we had to read for class, we learned the value of not being on birth control if we

decide to make our living by stripping.

Apparently YOU can earn on average $30 more an HOURnot being on birth control while shaking your ass for

the masses.

Women tended to make more money while fertile than during any other stage in their menstrual cycle.

They tend to make the least amount of money when their Aunt Flo visits.

Q. What does this mean for you?

A. Ditch the pill and start grinding.

Thank You, and

Goodnight.