persef1 - etiquette

9/30/2011

1

Tact Grace

Manners Kindness

Consideration Breeding

by: Gerald B. Peñaranda, M.Sc. ([email protected])

ETIQUETTE defined

Rules governing socially acceptable behavior to make people more comfortable with each other. These rules are based on kindness and consideration.

The conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life.

Flush toilet after every use

Never leave hair on the soap after use

Always keep toilet seat bowl cover down and clean; never leave urine marks on the bowl rim

Clean up the tub or shower area, including the shower curtains or door after taking a bath

Clean up your own plates as you go after every meal (CLAYGO)

Press toothpaste tube from the bottom and not near the cap

Always use serving spoon for rice and other viands shared with the rest of the family or friends

Refill water bottles and ice trays in the refrigerator after use

Respect people’s property and privacy. Never barge into their rooms without knocking on the door.

Importance of ETIQUETTE

It differentiates and puts a person on the privileged list in any social situation;

It enables one to be confident in a variety of setting with a variety of people;

It helps modify distracting behavior and helps develop admirable conduct of real ladies and gentlemen

Brush your teeth after every meal and floss at least once a day;

Change your toothbrush at least every three (3) months

Push back, cut, or pull out hair that keeps on popping out!

mailto:[email protected]

9/30/2011

2

Keep face oil free Shave unless it’s your fashion

statement to grow beard/mustache

Long hair should be tied neatly at the back; medium length hair should be gelled to show ears

Keep finger and toe nails short and clean

Wear cologne with gentle fragrance

Earrings should be small and subtle

Keep hair neat and tidy

Do something about armpit hair, e.g., shave, pluck, or wax!

Never remove your shoes or rub your ankle in public

Fragrance should be subtle and mysterious

Beauty in simplicity: wear light make-up during the day

Daring clothes, heavy make up, and jewelry are for evenings only

Sexy clothes are for Sexy people and to be worn in Sexy places

Clean and shine shoes always Clothes should always be pressed Men: wear socks in leather shoes and choose socks in

neutral colors worn above the ankles to cover legs when they are crossed

Choose white or light colored handkerchiefs for formal occasions

Loud colored pants are for beach and leisure wear only

STREET Etiquette Respect other people’s space, e.g., ATM booth,

cinema or church queues

When walking slowly in groups, let others pass from behind you

Do not litter in the surroundings; dispose of garbage properly

When crossing the street, use the pedestrian lane or overpass when available. If none, cross from corner to corner of the sidewalk

Avoid walking on the street when there are sidewalks available

Men should always be on the danger side when walking or crossing the street with women

Board and alight vehicles properly. Women should board first, but men should alight first

Be considerate of others in PUJs, PUBs, LRT & MRT, even if others are inconsiderate. Learn to say “Thank you” loudly when people show kindness

Men don’t have to give up seat for women. But if the seat becomes available, offer it first to women

When boarding buses, trains and elevators, let outgoing people alight first. Never push.

When driving, respect pedestrians, traffic enforcers and stop lights

Avoid blowing horns unless absolutely necessary

STREET Etiquette

9/30/2011

3

Men should take aisle seats when with women

When arriving late, take seats at the back to avoid distracting people

Turn off your mobile phones or switch them to silent mode

Talking, coughing, rattling candy wrappers and crackling of nuts are annoying, irritating and disturbing to everyone

Exit the place one at a time; it is rude to push people towards the exit

Learn to say “pardon me” quietly when sneezing or coughing

Etiquette in THEATERS Etiquette in CHURCH

Always wear conservative clothing. You are in church to worship, NOT to be worshipped

Do not unduly attract attention to yourself when entering. You can do this inconspicuously

Acknowledge greetings with a slight bow of your head or a smile

If you have something to say, whisper in a very soft voice

Do not laugh out loud or giggle to death

Participate actively but do not attract attention to yourself

Special Rules for the De La Salle Campus

Present your ID at the entrance gates. This is for security purposes.

Stop walking and talking when the Angelus is recited at 12:00 noon and 6:00 pm

CLAYGO (Clean as you go) in all eating places.

Clean up the classroom as you leave. Throw all waste materials in trash cans, return chairs to proper places, erase the board, turn off lights if no class follows.

Wear proper campus attire. You should be attractive not distractive.

Walk on the right side of corridors and stairs.

Allow those exiting from elevators and rooms to pass before you enter.

Give way to brothers, faculty and administrators as a sign of respect.

Keep campus clean and green.

When crossing the street be on the side of the traffic flow, so that if a car does hit, it will hit you instead of her

When walking on the pavement, be on the outside so that if a puddle is splashed you will get wet instead of her

When climbing the stairs you allow her to go ahead so that if she falls you can catch her.

When descending you go ahead, so that if she trips you will break her fall

When entering the door you go ahead to facilitate this for her; when exiting the same.

Etiquette in ESCORTING A LADY

A rule of thumb would be to remember that, as a gentleman, you are expected to shield the lady you are escorting.

Etiquette in RESTAURANTS

When entering a restaurants, men should precede women and hold the door for them

Men should pull the seat for women before taking their own

Hosts should ensure that their guests are seated first and with the best view

When ordering food, women may order directly from the waiter


Men should let the women order first, or may give the women’s orders on their behalf first

Women on a date should refrain from ordering expensive items especially if the man is not well-off!

To call a waiter, catch his eye and then raise your hand, or call “waiter” quietly

Clapping, whistling, shouting, or saying “psst!” is rude

9/30/2011

4

When eating, take conservatively-sized bites, chew with your mouth closed, and avoid talking when your mouth is full

Never use fork to cut meat. Ask for a steak knife or butter knife where necessary

Never use the bread to mop plate, nor dunk it in hot coffee or cocoa


Spoon soup away from you, you may tilt your bowl away from you

Ash trays or flower vases are not meant to be souvenirs

Pick your teeth using the toothpick while ensuring your mouth is covered using the other hand

Never wipe anything on the underside of the table, lest be “boogered” yourself


Proper Introductions

Mention the name of the most important person first, i.e, older over younger, distinguished person over ordinary citizen, women over men, customer over supplier

Acknowledge an introduction with a handshake. It’s safe to say, “I’m pleased to meet you” or “It’s a pleasure to meet you” or “How do you do?”

Men should rise for an introduction. Women may remain seated unless the person being introduced is a Very Important Person or a Distinguished Guest of Honor.

Women should offer a hand shake

Correct erroneous introductions right away, especially when your position was inadvertently “promoted”

Business Etiquette

Assume that all business associates prefer to be addressed formally

You may address them by their first names only if they request it

Be nice to the secretaries of business associates

Be punctual for business appointments and meetings

Smoke ONLY when ash trays are available

Business Etiquette

Always say “thank you” in writing after a favor has been given

Profanities are no’ no’s at the working place, i.e., dirty language is definitely what it is- DIRTY

Men should open doors for women, but women should not stand helpless in front of the door

Be extra sensitive and sensible especially when with VIPs

9/30/2011

5

Answer phone calls within 3 rings or less, with an appropriate greeting and with a smile

A caller should identify himself/herself, and tell the reason for calling

Speak softly and slowly

Return calls within the day

Keep conversations short, unless it is a teleconference

If the call is not for you but for somebody who is not around, offer to take a message

When you have dialed the wrong number, say “sorry” or if somebody dialed your number wrongly, say “Sorry you’ve got the wrong number”. Do not just bang the phone on its cradle

Say “bye” and “thank you”

International

Gestures

Not Acceptable Gestures

Avoid excessive hand gestures.

Do not touch your nose; this denotes nervousness.

Do not wring your hands.

Men must never be seated if a lady is standing.

Do not kiss unless the person has indicated that this is acceptable.

Do not cross your legs especially in the company of ladies, Thais and Middle Easterners. This is considered rude. The soles of your shoes must not point to the other individual.

Do not speak to people with your hands in your pocket.

Do not point

Do not touch the other individual as you speak, it may be misinterpreted.

Not Acceptable Gestures

The “Thumbs up,” “Victory sign” and “Hang loose” have different meanings in some countries. Be careful when you use them.

Among Italians the “commercial is on” sign is offensive. It means “canuto” the devil’s horns; his wife is cheating on him. Be careful.

Do not stand “Akimbo” with your arms on your hips and your feet apart. In Asia this is considered an aggressive stance.

Ladies, do not readily extend your hands, particularly in Muslim countries. A deeply religious Muslim will have to cleanse before praying if a woman touches him.

Do not wink, even as friendly gesture; it may be offensive.

Acceptable Gestures

In Asia the bow is the safest gesture in acknowledging a greeting. In the Western world a handshake is expected.

Study the greeting that is practiced in the country of the person you are with. In Thailand it is a prayer like gesture. In Japan a bow, in Indonesia they bow slightly with the palms together, and say “namaste” if they are Hindu, and “selamat” if they are Muslim.

Ask permission before lighting a cigarette.

In almost every situation a light handshake is most acceptable. Refrain from the “beso beso.”

When asking for the bill, just indicate with your hands that you are ready to pay.

Keep a space of about 2 feet between you and the person you are speaking to. It is more comfortable and non-intrusive.

When speaking to another person have direct contact, but not too intensely.

Always maintain good posture and sit properly.

The good-bye wave is universal.

Acceptable Gestures

Personal Effectiveness Foundation Module 4 - 5 PERSEF 1 "Animo La Salle"

ETIQUETTE – comes from a French word which means “ticket” or “label”. These are rules governing socially acceptable behavior to make people more comfortable with each other. These rules are based on kindness and consideration IMPORTANCE OF ETIQUETTE

• It differentiates on in any social situation and puts a person on the privileged list. • It enables one to be confident in a variety of setting with a variety of people. • It helps modify distracting behavior and helps develop admirable conduct of real ladies and gentlemen

CATEGORIES OF ETIQUETTE

Personal Private Public Professional

PERSONAL ETIQUETTE Basic Grooming for All

Brush your teeth after every meal and floss at least once a day Change your toothbrush every 3 months. For easier recall change toothbrush on

New Year’s Day, Palm Sunday, July 4th, and October 10 (Double Ten) Push back, cut or pull out nose hair that keeps popping out!

Basic Grooming for Men Keep your face oil-free by having absorbent papers handy Shave unless it’s your fashion statement to grow beard and/or mustache Long hair should be tied neatly at the back; medium length hair should be gelled

back to show ears. Keep finger and toe nails short and clean Wear cologne with gentle fragrance Earrings should be small and subtle

Basic Grooming for Women Keep hair neat and tidy Do something about armpit hair, e.g., shave, pluck or wax! Never remove your shoes nor rub your ankles in public Fragrance in the form of eau de toilette, cologne, lotion or perfume should be

subtle and mysterious Wear light make-up during the day; there’s beauty in simplicity Avoid large and loud jewelry during the day

Dressing for Men and Women Daring clothes, heavy make-up and jewelry are for evenings only Men should avoid large jewelry; and using foundation on the face is awkward for

men Sexy clothes are for Sexy people to be worn in Sexy places


Clean and shine shoes always Men should always wear socks in leather shoes and choose socks in neutral

colors, worn above the ankles to cover legs when they are crossed Clothes should always be pressed For formal occasions, choose white or light-colored handkerchief Men should never wear shirt under a blazer or coat that is supposed to be part of

a suit Loud colored pants are for beach and leisure wear only

Home and Family

Clean up your own plates as you go after every meal (CLAYGO) Clean up the tub or shower area, including the shower curtains or door after

taking a bath Flush toilet after every use Always keep toilet seat bowl cover down and clean; never leave urine marks on

the bowl rim Press toothpaste tube from the bottom and not near the cap Never leave hair on the soap after use Always use serving spoon for rice and other viands shared with the rest of the

family or friends Refill water bottles and ice trays in the refrigerator after use Respect people’s property and privacy. Never barge into their rooms without

knocking on the door.

ETIQUETTE (e-ti-ket) noun. The conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life WORD HISTORY The Middle French word estiquette or etiquette denoted a label attached to something, such as a bundle of documents, for description or identification; it was a derivative of a medieval French verb estichier or estiquer “to stick or attach” (itself ultimately borrowed from a verb akin to Modern English stick and stitch in the old Germanic language called Frankish). Middle French etiquette is the source of the English word ticket, and Modern French etiquette still retains the primary meaning “label”. In the 16th century, the court of the Spanish king and Holy Roman Emperor Charles V borrowed Middle French etiquette as Spanish etiqueta to denote the written protocols describing order of precedence and other aspects of correct courtly behavior. The etiqueta eventually became the court ceremonies themselves as well as the documents that described them. Under the influence of Spanish, French étiquette also acquired the meaning “proper court behavior” and in the 18th century was borrowed into English. It then expanded in sense to cover all sorts of proper behavior required by society. From Webster’s Universal Encyclopedic Dictionary

Hand-out M – 5b


SOME RULES ON ETIQUETTE

PROFESSIONAL ETIQUETTE INTRODUCTIONS

Mention the name of the most important person first, i.e, older over younger, distinguished person over ordinary citizen, women over men, customer over supplier

Acknowledge an introduction with a handshake. It’s safe to say, “I’m pleased to meet you” or “It’s a pleasure to meet you” or “How do you do?”

Men should rise for an introduction. Women may remain seated unless the person being introduced is a Very Important Person or a Distinguished Guest of Honor.

Women should offer a hand shake Correct erroneous introductions right away, especially when your position was

inadvertently “promoted” TELEPHONE MANNERS

Answer phone calls within 3 rings or less, with an appropriate greeting and with a smile A caller should identify himself/herself, and tell the reason for calling Speak softly and slowly Return calls within the day Keep conversations short, unless it is a teleconference If the call is not for you but for somebody who is not around, offer to take a message When you have dialed the wrong number, say “sorry” or if somebody dialed your number

wrongly, say “Sorry you’ve got the wrong number”. Do not just bang the phone on its cradle

Say “bye” and “thank you” BUSINESS ETIQUETTE

Assume that all business associates prefer to be addressed formally You may address them by their first names only if they request it Be nice to the secretaries of business associates Be punctual for business appointments and meetings Smoke ONLY when ash trays are available Always say “thank you” in writing after a favor has been given Profanities are no’ no’s at the working place, i.e., dirty language is definitely what it is-

DIRTY Men should open doors for women, but women should not stand helpless in front of the

door Be extra sensitive and sensible especially when with VIPs

Hand-out M - 4b


PUBLIC ETIQUETTE SPECIAL RULES FOR DE LA SALLE CAMPUS

Present your ID at the entrance gates. This is for security purposes. Stop walking and talking when the Angelus is recited at 12:00 noon and 6:00 pm CLAYGO (Clean as you go) in all eating places. Clean up the classroom as you leave. Throw all waste materials in trash cans, return chairs to

proper places, erase the board, turn off lights if no class follows. Wear proper campus attire. You should be attractive not distractive. Walk on the right side of corridors and stairs. Allow those exiting from elevators and rooms to pass before you enter. Give way to brothers, faculty and administrators as a sign of respect. Keep campus clean and green.

ESCORTING A LADY

A rule of thumb would be to remember that, as a gentleman, you are expected to shield the lady you are escorting.

When crossing the street be on the side of the traffic flow, so that if a car does hit, it will hit you instead of her

When walking on the pavement, be on the outside so that if a puddle is splashed you will get wet instead of her

When climbing the stairs you allow her to go ahead so that if she falls you can catch her. When descending you go ahead, so that if she trips you will break her fall When entering the door you go ahead to facilitate this for her When exiting the same.

ETIQUETTE IN THE STREET

Respect other people’s space, e.g., ATM booth, cinema or church queues When walking slowly in groups, let others pass from behind you Do not litter surroundings; dispose of garbage properly When crossing the street, use the pedestrian lane or overpass when available. If none,

cross from corner to corner of the sidewalk Avoid walking on the street when there are sidewalks available Men should always be on the danger side when walking or crossing the street with

women Board and alight vehicles properly. Women should board first, but men should alight first Be considerate of others in PUJs, PUBs, LRT & MRT, even if others are inconsiderate.

Learn to say “Thank you” loudly when people show kindness Men don’t have to give up seat for women. But if the seat becomes available, offer it first

to women When boarding buses, trains and elevators, let outgoing people alight first. Never push. When driving, respect pedestrians, traffic enforcers and stop lights Avoid blowing horns unless absolutely necessary

Personal Effectiveness Foundation Module 4 - 5 PERSEF 1 "Animo La Salle" ETIQUETTE IN RESTAURANTS

When entering a restaurants, men should precede women and hold the door for them Men should pull the seat for women before taking their own Hosts should ensure that their guests are seated first and with the best view When ordering food, women may order directly from the waiter Men should let the women order first, or may give the women’s orders on their behalf

first Women on a date should refrain from ordering expensive items especially if the man is

not well-off! To call a waiter, catch his eye and then raise your hand, or call “waiter” quietly Clapping, whistling, shouting, or saying “psst!” is rude When eating, take conservatively-sized bites, chew with your mouth closed, and avoid

talking when your mouth is full Never use fork to cut meat. Ask for a steak knife or butter knife where necessary Never use the bread to mop plate, nor dunk it in hot coffee or cocoa Spoon soup away from you, you may tilt your bowl away from you Ash trays or flower vases are not meant to be souvenirs Pick your teeth using the toothpick while ensuring your mouth is covered using the other

hand Never wipe anything on the underside of the table, lest be “boogered” yourself

ETIQUETTE IN CHURCH

Always wear conservative clothing; You are in church to worship NOT to be worshipped Do not unduly attract attention to yourself when entering. You can do this

inconspicuously Acknowledge greetings with a slight bow of your head or a smile If you have something to say, whisper in a very soft voice Do not laugh out loud or giggle to death Participate actively but do not attract attention to yourself

ETIQUETTE IN THEATRES

Men should take aisle seats when with women When arriving late, take seats at the back to avoid distracting people Turn off your mobile phones or switch them to silent mode Talking, coughing, rattling candy wrappers and crackling of nuts are annoying, irritating

and disturbing to everyone Exit the place one at a time; it is rude to push people towards the exit Learn to say “pardon me” quietly when sneezing or coughing


Hand- out M – 5a

MORE ETIQUETTE: INTERNATIONAL GESTURES Gestures have varied meanings the world over. Be careful and use them sparingly. NOT ACCEPTABLE GESTURES:

Do not speak to people with your hands in your pocket.

Do not point

Do not touch the other individual as you speak, it may be misinterpreted.

Avoid excessive hand gestures.

Do not touch your nose; this denotes nervousness.

Do not wring your hands.

Men must never be seated if a lady is standing.

Do not kiss unless the person has indicated that this is acceptable.

Do not cross your legs especially in the company of ladies, Thais and Middle Easterners. This is considered rude. The soles of your shoes must not point to the other individual.

The “Thumbs up,” “Victory sign” and “Hang loose” have different meanings in some countries. Be careful when you use them.

Among Italians the “commercial is on” sign is offensive. It means “canuto” the devil’s horns; his wife is cheating on him. Be careful.

Do not stand “Akimbo” with your arms on your hips and your feet apart. In Asia this is considered an aggressive stance.

Ladies, do not readily extend your hands, particularly in Muslim countries. A deeply religious Muslim will have to cleanse before praying if a woman touches him.

Do not wink, even as friendly gesture; it may be offensive. ACCEPTABLE GESTURES:

In Asia the bow is the safest gesture in acknowledging a greeting. In the Western world a handshake is expected.

Study the greeting that is practiced in the country of the person you are with. In Thailand it is a prayer like gesture. In Japan a bow, in Indonesia they bow slightly with the palms together, and say “namaste” if they are Hindu, and “selamat” if they are Muslim.

Ask permission before lighting a cigarette. In almost every situation a light handshake is most acceptable, refrain from the “beso beso”. When asking for the bill, jus indicate with your hands that you are ready to pay. Keep a space of about 2 feet between you and the person you are speaking to. It is more

comfortable and non-intrusive. The good-bye wave is universal. When speaking to another person have direct contact, but not too intensely. Always maintain good posture and sit properly.

persef1 - etiquette

Documents