podcast live workshop book

ContentsMeet the Presenters 5

Day 1 PresentationsThe Model Changes Everything 9

How to Get What You Want 13

Get Unstuck by Changing the Question 14

How to Stop Quitting 18

Learn How to Change Your Desire 20

Overcome Overwhelm 22

Day 1 Workshop WorksheetsHow to Get What You Want 25

Living from a Place of Power 34

How to Stop Quitting 44

Learn How to Change Your Desire 51

Overcome Overwhelm 60

The Self Coaching Model 67

Day 2 PresentationsThe Thought Ladder: How to Think New Thoughts 73

Emotional Responsibility 75

Practicing and Generating Emotions 79

Loving the Unlovable 83

Day 2 Workshop Worksheets87

107

115

122

123

124

The Thought Ladder: How to Think New Thoughts

Emotional Responsibility

Practicing & Generating Emotions & Loving the Unlovable

Feelings

Top 3 Feelings

Lovability

Unconditional Love 127

I am so excited you are here for this unique opportunity to spend a weekend with me and the Master Coaches.

We have prepared amazing content for you. Our only request is that you apply what you learn. Please know that intellectually taking in the material will not solve any of your problems. Only when you apply what you

your life.

Your brain is the most powerful tool on the planet. There is no amount of money that could ever buy it or reproduce it. Managing your brain and the thoughts within it are the most important things you will ever do to create your desired results. (And none of our traditional education teaches it!)

So please know that this material can and will change your life for the better if you let it.

BrookeBrooke CastilloThe Life Coach School

Meet the Presenters

Brenda Lomeli is a master coach in training weight loss

and her coaching practice is specialized in teaching women how to lose their last 10 pounds, get to their ideal weight

programs and philosophy at www.brendalomeli.com

Martha Ayim is a master coach in training. She graduated from the University of Toronto with

in psychology. She worked for more than a decade in the

for more than 30 years. Life coaching was pivotal in ending her

compassionate coach. Her website is www.holdingthespace.co. She can be reached at [email protected].

Jill Angue

started the Not Your Average Runner online community to show that runners come in all shapes, sizes and speeds, and coaches women who want to start running to improve their health and lives. www.notyouraveragerunner.com

Rachel Hart is a master coach in training working in San Francisco. Her coaching focuses on the myriad ways that women disconnect from their bodies, including through alcohol. She teaches people who want to cut back on their drinking how to feel more in control, desire alcohol less, and

Read more at her website: www.rachelhart.com.

Jane Pilger is a master coach in training. She works with Phit-N-Phat.com. an online weight loss community. She overcameher own 22 year battle with binge eating and is now passionateabout helping other women take back control over food. Sheloves the science behind the brain, neural pathways, and

learn to understand what is happening with their urges anddesires and that they have the full power to change, sheguides them step by step through the process of emotionaland physical transformation. Contact: [email protected]

Corinne Crabtree is a master coach in training and owner of Phit-N-Phat.com After a lifetime of obesity and losing 100 pounds nearly 12 years ago, Corinne began working with women online to teach them how to lose weight, too. Her philosophy is “lose it the way you will live it”. Her No BS Weight Loss Program and private community is where she works daily

www.pnp411.com

Kara Loewentheil is an honors graduate of both Yale College and Harvard Law School. Her legal career included a federal clerkship, litigation, policy work and academic fellowships.

Life Coach School, and a aster oach in training. She works primarily with law students and lawyers, teaching them how

and even happy at school, at work, or anywhere else. Her

women of all sizes learn to love their bodies exactly as they are. www.redesignyourmind.com

Laura Kalister is a master coach in training and exercise physiologist. Fueled by her own 20-year struggle with overeating, Laura works with women who want to stop overeating at night, helping them to silence the nagging food chatter that strikes in the evening. She works with each client

and beliefs, which keep them overeating, especially when they

deserve where you are a non-negotiable item on your priority www.laurakalister.com

Charity Funk is a master coach in training. She has been in the beauty industry for 15 years, seeing clients whose skin issues have spilled over into multiple areas of their lives. Combining her background as a skin care expert, with her training and skills

look and feel great about their skin, their weight and their lives. Working with clients all over the world in person, by phone or video chat, she creates a customized plan of products, habits

website is www.charityfunk.com.

Pat Beaupre Becker is a master coach in training. Born and raised in Brooklyn, NY, Pat works with women over 60 years old who are survivors of childhood trauma and struggle with their weight. Pat is a survivor herself and is maintaining a 35 lb. weight loss. Pat provides one-on-one support that includes body and mind training. Using the latest tools from neuroscience, she designs an individual plan for success for each of her clients. Pat discovered life coaching tools and is now thriving as a coach, teacher, partner, sister, mother and friend. Pat is excited to share this transformation with survivors who are ready to change the impact of their past and live a rich and healthy lifestyle. www.beauprecoaching.com

Diann Wingert is a master coach in training and former psychotherapist who specializes in helping other women who want to make big, bold changes in their 50s, but are holding back out of habit, fear and self doubt. Since turning 50, Diann has gotten remarried, started a business, acquired two tattoos, embraced Buddhism, travelled the world and become a life coach. Her signature program leads her clients through a complete Mid Life Makeover in their lifestyle, career and relationships. Visit her website at www.diannwingertcoaching.com to learn more and schedule a free consultation.

www. thelifecoachschool.com 9

The Model Changes Everything

Brooke Castillo

Circumstances

Thoughts

Feelings

Actions

Results

Cause

Cause

Cause

Can Trigger

EVIDENCE

DAY 1


First you must understand the five categories and how they are defined.

CIRCUMSTANCES:

THOUGHTS:

FEELINGS:

ACTIONS:

RESULTS:

FACTS, neutral. They can be proven in a court of law.

Sentences in your mind about the circumstances.

Vibrations in the body.

What we do – they include reactions, actions or inactions.


Then, you need to understand the difference between a circumstance/fact and a thought. This is KEY.

CIRCUMSTANCES:

THOUGHTS:

FEELINGS:

ACTIONS:

RESULTS:

Our feelings are caused by our thoughts. Feel your emotions and own them.

Your behaviors will indicate how you are thinking and feeling.

What you have created with your deliberate or haphazard thinking.

DAY 1


Answer these questions to complete the model:

C What are the facts of the situation?

T What is your thought about it?

F How does that thought feel?

A What do you do when you feel that way?

R

Check: Does the result prove the thought?

Once you have filled out the model correctly, ask yourself:

Why am I choosing to think that thought? A lot of times we are not even realizing we are choosing to think a thought … But thoughts are always choices.

How would I like to feel (without the Circumstance changing)? Often we want to change the circumstance in our mind in order to change how we feel about it.

What could I think instead? You are in control of your thoughts and that is the best news!

The Model changes everything, but only if you take the time to understand it and really apply it.


How to Get What You Want

Brenda Lomeli

You can create ANY result you want.

WANT them, but are not committed.

The key to getting what you want is truly committing to it.

WANTING:Passive. Requires no action. Familiar. Safe. Comfortable. Risk-averse. Creates more wanting. DOES NOT CREATE RESULTS.

COMMITTING:Active. Requires action. Increases focus on the result andreduces chatter. Solution focused. Creates progress towardresults. CREATES RESULTS.

The Five Steps to Making a Commitment That Will Get You Results

1. TAKE INVENTORY of what you want in your life.

2. GET HONEST about whether you are willing and ready to commit.

3. MAKE THE DECISION to commit. Do it in writing.

4. HONOR YOUR COMMITMENT until you get your result.

5. RE-EVALUATE & RE-AFFIRM YOUR COMMITMENT. Do this on aregular basis.

you actually TAKE ACTION and implement them in your life.

MAKE YOUR COMMITMENT AND START TAKING ACTION.

This is how you get what you want.

DAY 1


Get Unstuck by Changing the Question

Martha Ayim

Many of us live our lives on automatic pilot, playing out the programming of unquestioned questions and answers, without ever having examined whether they were relevant or reasonable.

most of those questions are pretty lousy!

Two things happen when you ask yourself a question:

1. You send your brain on a mission to answer it.

2. Your questions are answered by thoughts.

When you ask yourself dead-end questions, your questions will be answered by negative thoughts. For example, asking yourself, “Why is my life so hard?” will send your brain into a negative thought pattern, and will ultimately create negative results in your life.

When you ask yourself powerful questions, your questions will be answered by better thoughts. For example, asking yourself, “How can I make today better than yesterday?” will shift your brain toward constructing better thought patterns, and will ultimately create better results in your life.

Distinguishing Between Dead-End and Powerful Questions

Dead-end Questions Keep Us Stuck

Dead-end questions are often negative, shallow, closed minded, judgmental, and passive. They box us into limited and stuck places of fear, bitterness and victimhood. Examples of dead-end questions are:


Why does losing weight have to be so hard?

Why do I keep messing up?

Why did I do that again? (See more examples on the following pages.)

Powerful Questions Get Us Unstuck

Powerful questions are positive, deep, open minded, thought provoking, and proactive. They open up a space for appreciation, compassion, inquiry, discovery, and insight. Powerful questions give us back responsibility for

in new ways. When we ask ourselves powerful questions, we help ourselves discover our own answers. Examples of powerful questions are:

How can I honor my body today?

Why am I so fabulous?

What can I learn from this? (See more examples on the following pages.)

Ask Yourself a Powerful Question Every Day

make them worth asking. By asking high-quality, empowering questions,

If you want great answers, ask great questions.

Remember: Every question is a choice and every thought is a choice.

So, choose a powerful question to ask yourself today. Ask your powerful

answers... and see what you can create in your life!

Dead-end Versus Powerful Questions

Here are some examples of dead-end and powerful questions.

DAY 1


Dead-end questions

Why am I so busy?

Why do I always feel like this?

Why did I do this to myself?

Why did they do this to me?

Why is this happening to me?

Why is my life so hard?

What did I do to deserve this?

What will they think of me?

When is it going to get better?

Why am I so dumb?

Why am I so broke?

Why am I so fat?

When will I be skinny?

Why does losing weight have to be so hard?

without drinking?

of television every day?

my budget?

panicking behind the wheel?

time?

Why am I such a crappy parent?

Powerful questions

feel right now?

Why am I choosing to think this thought?

Of all the possible thoughts that I could think, is this really the thought that I want to be thinking right now?

Does this thought serve me?

How does this thought feel?

How do I want to feel?

What do I need to believe to feel the way I want to feel?

How can I take more responsibility for what I think, for what I feel, and for what I do?

What am I making this mean?

What are they thinking that makes them do that?

How can I create what I want?

How can I make this more fun?

How can I delegate this?

What am I grateful for?

What can I give?

Why am I so damn fabulous?

What is the solution to this problem?

How can I manage my emotions

computers, alcohol)?

What can I learn from this situation?

How will I make today better than yesterday?

What can I do to laugh a lot today?

How can I honor my body today?

How can I live my best life?


The Better-Question Detector

powerful question? By using The Better-Question Detector, of course!

ones you really want to be asking.

Checklist for better questions: Yes No

Is there a positive belief built into your question?

Does your question feel good or encourage you to evolve beyond your comfort zone?

Does your question empower you take responsibility for your life?

Does your question inspire you to take action?

Does your question generate insight?

Does your question open your mind?

Does your question allow for appreciation and compassion?

If you answered NO to most of these questions, keep at it! Brainstorm more powerful questions and double-check them again with The Better-

a better question!

DAY 1


How to Stop QuittingJill Angie

What Is Quitting?

1. To stop, cease or discontinue something.

2.

There are two kinds of quitting. Big and little.

Big quits

Little quits are giving in to the urge for momentary comfort, relief, or pleasure at the expense of your long-term pleasure and satisfaction of meeting your goal. Little quits sound like this:

I just need a break right now.

I’m just too tired today.

I’m too busy.

It’s too hard.

I’m not good at this.

I’m confused about what to do.

I have plenty of time, I’ll do it tomorrow.

I just don’t feel like it.

to do.

Too many little quits over time add up to big quits.Example: training for a 5K. Your training plan says to run three times per

Along the way, mostly during the training process, there will be times


quits sound perfectly legit.

(consciously) not to do the race.

situation, which of course is true, but the big quit really started months back when you quit on yourself.

Little quits start adding up and give you evidence to support the big quits.

Stop Little Quits to Avoid the Big Quits

1. Make a real commitmentCreate your compelling reasons, and make them so important to you

your goal.

Keep asking yourself why until you have 5 reasons.

2. Expect the desire to quit

happen. Take time to anticipate what your challenges, obstacles, and excuses will be so that you are prepared instead of taken by surprise.

quit in the moment.

3. DecideAsk yourself questions about why you want to quit in that moment. Be

Compare your reasons for quitting with your compelling reasons to achieve your goal and decide between them.

DAY 1


Learn How to Change Your Desire

Rachel Hart

believe life would be easier if you had less desire.

You might think the answer is willpower: resisting your desire. But focusing on willpower holds you back.

you have to resist it by saying no over and over again. It feels like your

resist.

you really want.

When you give in to your desire, you probably blame it on having too much desire and too little willpower. You get stuck in this cycle of desire and resist and give in.

environment. Your desire is a feeling created by your thoughts.

You learned to desire something and you can learn how to desire it less. You can take proactive steps to change your desire.

yourself away from whatever you desire in order to feel in control.

When you feel like desire bubbles up out of nowhere or when you think it is created by things in your external environment, this is only


Common desire-fueling thoughts: I want it. I like it. I love it. It tastes good. I have to have it. I need it. I can’t say no. It’s impossible to stop. My brain has been hijacked. I’m addicted to it. I deserve a treat. I’ve had a rough day. I need to tune out. I just want to feel better. It will relax me. I need to take the edge o . I just want to take my mind o of this. I can’t deal with this feeling. It will make things better. It makes everything better. It makes me happy. Everyone else is. It will be awkward if I say no. I can’t imagine doing x without it. I don’t want to miss out. This is so unfair. Why not? Who cares? It’s not a big deal. It won’t hurt. I’ll just make one exception. Just tonight. Screw it.

The more you think desire-fueling thoughts, the more your desire grows. The good news: you can change your thoughts. Once you see

First step, practice pausing before you act (i.e., say “yes”) to the object

See if you can notice your thoughts without judgment.

practicing reducing your desire.

DAY 1


Overcome OverwhelmJane Pilger

Overwhelm is an indulgent emotion – a feeling we indulge in even though it does not lead to the results we want.

Overwhelm is an excuse for inaction.

The Problem

Overwhelm is never caused by your circumstances or your to-do list!

Overwhelm is always caused by your thoughts:

Things are out of my control.

It will be too hard. It will take too much time.

Indulging in overwhelm prevents you from achieving your goals.

The Solution

Become aware of the thoughts that lead you to feel overwhelmed.

Change your thoughts and take action!

I have control over...(list).

I will make the right decision now.

I will take one action now.


It is impossible to be in overwhelm and take action at the same time. You

Ask yourself these three powerful questions to overcome overwhelm:

What is in my control?

What is one decision I can make right now?

What action can I take right now?

Suggested listening: The Life Coach School Podcast #74 – Indulgent Emotions.

Day 1 Workshop

Worksheets


How to Get What You Want

Brenda Lomeli

Step 1: Take Inventory of What You Want in Your Life

Take time to create a list of the things you want in your life. Ask yourself, “What do I want?” You can list as many things that come to your mind, but

Examples: start a business, save , pay o debt, lose pounds.

Write ALL the things you want in your life in the space below.

DAY 1


Step 2: Get Real about Whether You’re Willing and Ready to Commit

Out of your list of “wants” above, pick out the #1 thing you want in your

ready to commit. A true commitment is active and requires action. It also requires you continue to take action until the desired result is achieved.

Ask yourself these questions as a tool to determine whether you are willing and ready to make this kind of commitment.

The #1 thing I want in my life is:

Circle the answer YES or NO about this #1 result you want in your life:

Am I committed to this result and taking action no matter how long it takes?

Yes No

Am I committed to this result and taking action even if it Yes No

Am I committed to this result and taking action even Yes No

Am I committed to this result and taking action even if I feel doubt/worry/fear?

Yes No

Am I committed to this result and taking action even on Yes No

Am I committed to this result and taking action even if Yes No

Am I committed to trying as many strategies and approaches as I need to until something works to get this result?

Yes No

arises in order to get this result? Yes No

If you answered YES to all of these questions, then you are ready to make �


Step 3: Make the Decision to Commit

Deciding to commit is something you do ON PURPOSE. You will need to do the step of committing to what you want. I recommend that you not only commit to it in your mind, but that you actually commit to it in writing.

take action as necessary until you achieve your result. Think of this as a legally binding agreement, a written contract with yourself.

Not keeping this promise, not taking action, and not achieving this result no longer an option.

I AM COMMITED TO:

DAY 1


Step 4: Honor Your Commitment

Honor your commitment until you get your result.

This step may seem very simple, but this is where many people waiver. In order to succeed, one thing you can do is to plan ahead for obstacles. What are three things that might keep you from honoring your commitment?

Example: I want to lose pounds. ne thing that might keep me from honoring my commitment is weekend getaways with my husband because we like to eat out a lot.

Identify three potential obstacles or challenges:

1.

2.

3.

strategy or plan to set yourself up for success.

Example: I will do research ahead of time for restaurants that have healthy options for me so that I can still eat out but also stay committed to my weight-loss goal.


Write out a plan or strategy for each of your potential obstacles. (The more detailed and well thought out your plan is, the better!)

1.

2.

3.

DAY 1


Step 5: Continuously Re-evaluate and Re-affirm Your Commitment

Each month, take inventory of whether or not YOUR ACTIONS are aligned with the result you are committed to. Do this ongoing until you get what you want.

What actions do you take currently that are aligned with your commitment to this result?

What actions or inactions are NOT aligned with your commitment to this result?

Based on this assessment of your current actions/inactions, what is your level of commitment?

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10(0 = not committed at all, 10 = totally committed)


Bonus Step: Dream!

GETTING WHAT YOU WANT starts by you having a dream.

time in the future, as your future self.

What do I mean by this?

The future... where you ALREADY have what you want.

The future... where you ARE ALREADY that person who has created this result.

For example:

If what you want is to get to your goal weight, spend time in the future

size 4.

Let your brain go to that future place and think about exactly what your life would be like. Let yourself think about the big and little things...

DAY 1


What would you wear?

Where would you shop?

Where would you eat?

Where would you vacation?

How would you be feeling?

How would you spend your mornings?

How would you spend your evenings?

Don t worry about the “how” right now. One of the ways we stop ourselves from believing we can have what we want is by insisting that we must know exactly how we will get what we want.

Notice that your brain wants to object about whether any of this is “possible” or “realistic.”

Notice it... but keep going.

LET YOURSELF BELIEVE FULLY IN THIS FUTURE AND ALREADY HAVING ACHIEVED WHAT YOU WANT.

Fully let yourself go to that future place where you have already created EXACTLY what it is you want.

Let your mind BE in that future and write ALL about it.


Write as much detail as you can about what your future looks like, feels like...

Let yourself ENJOY the feelings of already being there.

DAY 1


Living from a Place of Power

Martha Ayim

Finding Your Primary Question

Example

My primary question is, “Why am I such a lousy parent?” Actually, other

“Why am I so alone as a parent?”

When I ask myself these questions, my answers are:

No one loves me or my child.

When I think these thoughts, I feel sad, scared, unsure, ashamed, resentful, grumpy, and lonely.

child with much enthusiasm.

The result of showing up in this way is that I miss opportunities for more


connection with my child. I miss chances to listen deeply to him and to follow my instincts about how best to parent him. These are opportunities that could actually help me to learn to parent him better and to approach parenting in a more relaxed way.

Now It’s Your Turn

Write your primary question. If you think there’s more than one primary question, write them down too.

How have you been answering the question(s)? (Remember, our questions are always answered by thoughts.)

DAY 1


How has thinking these thoughts made you feel?


Answering the Five “Whys?”

The most powerful question you can ask yourself is also the tiniest one. That question is “Why?”

Example

I want to improve my parenting.

Why?

Because I want my child and I to be happier.

Why?

Because I want my child to have a better primary connection with me.

Why?

Because I want him to have deeper connections with himself and others.

Why?

Because I want him to know that he can count on himself—that he has his own back.

Why?

Because I want him to be ready for the adult world.

DAY 1



Write about something that you’d like to create in your life.

Why?

Why?

Why?


Why?

Why?

Finding Your Powerful Questions

of at least 10 powerful questions that you could ask yourself to help you create what you want in your life.

Remember, when you ask yourself a powerful question, your brain will hunt for answers for you! Those answers are thoughts your brain will think

DAY 1


Example

Powerful questions I could ask myself are:

How do I want to feel about being a parent?

How do I want to feel about my son?

What do I need to believe to feel the way I want to feel?

How can I create what I want for my son and I?

How can I be the best parent I can possibly be?

How can I feel proud of my parenting?

How can I parent with joy?

How can I deepen my connection with my son?

How can I be grateful for all the one-on-one time I have with my son?


1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.


Answering Your Powerful Questions

Reread your powerful questions. How could you answer each of these questions?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

DAY 1


Unlocking More Awesome Questions

What would you do if you were fearless?

How are you powerful?

How are you fabulous?

What is right in your life right now?


What self-limiting lie(s) are you believing?

How can you choose to move forward if self-doubt appears?

How can you create what you want?

How can you live your best life?

DAY 1


How to Stop QuittingJill Angie

Understanding Quitting

Big quits are when you give up on a goal completely. Little quits are all

way. Often, they look like:

I just need a break right now.

I’m overwhelmed.

I’m just too tired today.

I’m too busy right now.

It’s too hard for me.

I’m not good at this.

I’m confused about what to do.

I have plenty of time, I’ll just do it tomorrow.

I just don’t feel like it right now.

Over time, all these little quits add up, and if there are enough of them you give up on your goal.

Can you think of an example of when you’ve quit on yourself in this way?


What did you say to yourself about it?

What was the outcome? Did you eventually achieve your goal or did you give up?

What did you think and feel about that?

DAY 1


How to Stop Quitting

three months from now.”

I want to:

What are your compelling reasons for wanting to achieve this goal?

Then ask yourself why that reason is so important to you, and make the answer to your question your second reason. Keep going until you

Example:

I want to train for a 5K three months from now

so I can keep up with my kids when they play outside.

I want to keep up with my kids when the play outside so I can spend more time with them and be a good role model for health.

1.

2.

3.


4.

5.

Part II: Expect the Desire to Quit

You know what actions you will need to take to reach your goal.

challenges, obstacles, or excuses that you expect to come up. Be

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.;

DAY 1


8.

9.

Part III: Decide

Each time you are tempted to quit, stop and remember that you knew this was going to happen.

Then use a conscious decision-making process to decide what to do. Answer the following questions:

1. Why do you want to quit right now? What is the thought?

2. just can’t do this right now”? (That’s a clue that your lower brain is in control.)


3. How will you feel about yourself a week, month, or year from now if you don’t take this action?

4. What are you glad you didn’t quit on in the past? Can you draw on those experiences to help you not quit in the present?

5. What if you knew that success was right around the corner. Would you still want to quit?

6. Are you afraid you’ll end up quitting later so you just want to quit now?

DAY 1


7. Are you wanting to quit because of discomfort, fear, or anxiety in the moment?

8. tomorrow”?

Now look at your reasons for wanting to achieve this goal (from Part I), and compare them to your reasons for wanting to quit in the moment. Then DECIDE which is more important to you. Write out your thought process below:


Learn How to Change Your Desire

Rachel Hart

Exercise 1: Identify the Object of Your Desire

Identify one thing in your life you wish you could desire less and why. ( ed wine, chocolate cake, new clothes, Facebook, television, a person, etc.)

When do you usually desire it?setting, environment, people, how you are feeling, etc.)

you believe it helps you unwind, deal with stress, have fun, socialize, tune out, feel happy.)

DAY 1


What are the drawbacks? (How is your desire causing you problems?)

What happens when you tell yourself you can’t have it?

What would your life be like without it?

Exercise 2: Understanding the Object of Your Desire

Identifying your thoughts about your desire will help you get authority over it. Complete the following sentences to uncover your thoughts. (Note, depending on your desire, you may not have answers for every sentence.)


The object of my desire is...

It makes me...

People who like it are...

People who don’t like it are...

People who can control themselves around it are...

It is necessary for...

It makes things...

It makes me...

It makes me feel...

It makes other people...

It makes social events...

It makes my meals...

It makes outings...

It makes my free time...

It makes time by myself...

It makes my life...

Life without it would be...

If I can’t have it, it means...

My greatest worry or fear about not having it is...

I would be happier if I could...

DAY 1


Review your answers above. Are you open to considering that any of them might be optional? Which ones and why?

Of all of your answers, which ones are not optional?

Is there one particular answer that you feel is particularly holding you back from change?

that you could think instead.


Exercise 3: Visualizing Yourself Without Your Desire

If you were someone who did not desire this thing...

What would you be thinking?

DAY 1


How would you feel?

How would you act around it?

Exercise 4: Observing Desire in Your Body

body.

What do you desire?


How does desire manifest in your body?

back, and neck) What are the physical vibrations? (e.g., shallow breathing,

Are the physical vibrations of desire tolerable? Are the sensations that you just described something you think you can tolerate? Why or why not?

Are you open to experiencing your desire? Why or why not?

DAY 1


Why do you think you experienced this desire? Pay particular attention

these things do not create your desire.

Exercise 5: Choosing Something New to Desire

If you could choose anything to desire what would that be?

Why would you like to desire this thing?


Why do you think you don’t currently desire it?

Are your reasons for not desiring it optional?

you start creating your desire.

DAY 1


Overcome OverwhelmJane Pilger and Corinne Crabtree

Key Takeaways

Overwhelm is always an excuse for inaction.

Become aware of the thoughts that lead you to feel overwhelmed.

Remove overwhelm as an option.

Take action.

Recognize what is in your control.

Make a decision and commit to it.

Awareness

1.

2. What were you thinking?


3. What did you do or not do?

4. What did it prevent you from accomplishing?

Take Action

Imagine you get a do-over on your last experience of overwhelm. Remove overwhelm as an option.

5. What would you choose to think?

DAY 1


6. What actions would you take?

7. What results would you create?

The Ineffective Model:

Complete the model below using your responses from questions 1 to 4.

C

T

F – overwhelmed

A

R


The Effective Model:

Complete the model you want to create using your responses from questions 5 to 7.

C

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F

A

R

Recognize What Is in Your Control

What is in your jar? List out everything that you had to do the last time you felt overwhelmed. Or, if overwhelm is a regular feeling for you, write out

DAY 1


Go through the list above and circle all of the items that you absolutely

Everything else on your list is optional. Write 5 sentences about this. Do you have more control than you realized?

Make a Decision

Is there a decision you want to make in your life right now that you are currently indulging in confusion and overwhelm about? (Examples: a new purchase, changing your diet, further education or training, a job change, change in relationships, having a baby). Write 5 or more sentences about this. What is preventing you from making a decision?


What would you be committed to accomplishing if you knew it was the right decision?

DAY 1


Identify Your Excuses in Overwhelm

important to you.

Make a list of all the things you say to yourself. Example, “I have so much to do so I will just skip exercising today.”

Knowing your common excuses and having another thought that spurs ACTION is key to ending overwhelm.

My Excuses My New Thoughts


The Self Coaching ModelCorinne Crabtree

Circumstances

Thoughts

Feelings

Actions

Results

Cause

Cause

Cause

Can Trigger

EVIDENCE

DAY 1


Thought Download

Write down your thoughts here

Unintentional Thought Pattern

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Thought Download

Write down your thoughts here


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DAY 1


Model Practice


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Model Practice


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Kara Loewentheil

We all know that thinking new thoughts is the key to making the model

achieve new amazing results in our lives, we have to think new thoughts. But how do we do that, exactly?

The answer is: thought ladders. A “thought ladder” is a tool that you use to get from what you are currently thinking to what you want to believe.

example the issue is my body.

The bottom of the ladder is the thought I am currently believing about my body. For example, “My body is disgusting.”

The top of the ladder is the thought I want to believe about my body. For example, “My body is beautiful.”

So how do I get from the bottom to the top? How do I go from thinking

The way I get from the bottom to the top of the ladder is by moving up the rungs between the current and the goal thought.

There are three main techniques you can use to climb the thought ladder.

DAY 2


Neutral Thought: A thought that is neither positive nor negative.

Opener/Closer: Attaching

open to believing X” or “Someday I may believe X” or “X is possible.”

I Keep Thinking: Attaching “I keep thinking” to the front of the thought you are working on replacing.

Goal Thought

Neutral Thought

Opener

Closer

� �

I Keep Thinking

�

�


Emotional ResponsibilityLaura Kalister

Emotional Childhood

let another person or a circumstance dictate how you think and/or feel

give away all of your power

rebel against what you want

exaggerate events with unnecessary drama (lie)

blame others or events

throw tantrums

Emotional childhood shows up as blame, entitlement, wanting instead of needing, helplessness.

Emotional Adulthood

take complete responsibility for your feelings no matter what is going on around you

decide how you think or feel, regardless of other people or circumstances

take back all of your power

respect what you want

present factual accounts of events

accept full responsibility for your role in relationships and events

deal with your emotions by pausing, coping, doing thought downloads, managing stress

Emotional adulthood shows up as ownership, empowerment, conscious choice.

DAY 2


Emotional Childhood versus Emotional Adulthood Examples

Emotional Childhood

“I need you to take care of me and my needs.”

“I need to check out of my life.”

“But, I deserve it.”

loved.”

Emotional Adulthood

“I respect myself by eating foods that feel good in my body.”

“I take care of myself and meet my own needs.”

“I deserve to be present in my life. I pay attention with curiosity.”

“This is happening for me.”

“This is my choice and I accept full responsibility for the outcome.”

and feel loving feelings towards myself regardless of what he/she does.”

Becoming an Emotional Adult

1. Becoming an emotional adult starts with identifying circumstances or people in your life where you experience emotional childhood. Try to understand why you react with emotional childhood in these situations and with these people.

2. Practice applying emotional adulthood by assessing whether or not your thoughts about particular circumstances characterize emotional adulthood. For example:

“There goes my brain again, trying to convince me that I deserve this donut. Not today, brain.” Emotional Adult? T or F


You come home from an evening work commitment and your house looks like a condemned property. Dirty dishes are in the sink, clothes are everywhere and your partner is watching

him/her to at least put the dishes in the dishwasher!” Emotional Adult? T or F

You had a major deadline at work and realize that after you submitted the project, you made a huge error. Your thoughts

Emotional Adult? T or F

Your mother is always commenting on your weight. Over the holiday, she gives you a side eye and comments on how it looks

knows how much her comments hurt my feelings and trigger my overeating!” Emotional Adult? T or F

3. Shift from emotional childhood to emotional adulthood. When you experience emotional childhood, you may feel a painful or negative emotion. You may feel out of control or helpless. The good news is that you can shift from emotional childhood to emotional adulthood by practicing the following process and taking responsibility for your thoughts.

Step 1: Notice the painful emotion you are experiencing and name it in one to two words.

Step 2: Ask yourself why you are feeling this, that is, what is the thought you are having about the situation?

Step 3: Determine if you are in emotional childhood or emotional adulthood.

If you believe that you feel a certain way because of what someone said/did or because of something that happened, you are in emotional childhood.

If you believe that you feel a certain way because of what you are thinking, you are in emotional adulthood.

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Step 4: Pause. Take three to four deep breaths.

Step 5: Ask yourself how you want to feel about the person/situation.

Step 6: in step 5?

Step 7: Decide whether you want to change and, if you do, take action by practicing the new thought(s) from step 6.

Note: If you get stuck or want to stay in emotional childhood, go all in with the painful emotions by writing out a thought download. Set a timer for 20 minutes or so, and get all your thoughts out on paper. Then, let them go.


Practicing and Generating Emotions

Pat Beaupre Becker and Brooke Castillo

Sensations are vibrations that start in your body and move to your mind. Some of these are hunger, hot, cold, sick and pain.

Emotions are vibrations that start in the mind with a thought and then a reaction is felt as a vibration in your body. Some of these are anger, sadness, joy, frustration and fear.

create or avoid. Everything we have created, everything we have done, is because of an emotion.

Positive emotions energize us, so we are better able to concentrate,

Negative emotions deplete our energy and stunt our ability to plan and take action.

If we decide not to feel negative emotions, our capacity for feeling positive emotions is diminished.

First, we are going to show you how to process and complete a negative emotion and then we are going to teach you how to generate a positive emotion.

1. How to process and complete negativeemotion.

children, we may have been overwhelmed with feelings. No one told us how to feel.

DAY 2


As adults, we have the capacity to feel emotions.

WHY FEEL? To feel is to be human. Develop the skill of feeling. To grow and evolve. To be willing to do new things and challenge yourself. Help navigate relationships at work, family and in your community.

WHAT WE DO INSTEAD OF FEELING:

WE RESIST: We think resisting our emotions is feeling our emotions.

Resistance requires tension and being on guard.

Holding a beach ball under water is like resisting. How it pops up is very

WE REACT: We think if we react to feelings we are feeling. Reacting is

would be reacting.

do drugs, shop, gamble, binge watch TV. Could also be doing something less destructive – overexercise, go for walk.

HOW TO FEEL IT. The goal is to be at peace with any emotion, as it is a vibration in our body. All emotion is caused by the thoughts going on in our head.

A technique to feel your emotions is to shift focus and take deliberate control of your brain by having it pay attention to what is going in your body.

You want to shift your brain from creating the emotion to watching and observing the sensations in your body. You want to observe with no judgment.

What is a negative emotion you avoid?

Describe the vibration in your body. Where do you feel it? Whatwords do you use to describe it?

Welcome the feeing by allowing it. Co-exist or accompany it. You canmove towards it.


5. Find the thought that is causing the emotion. What is the sentence inyour head? You can decide to change that sentence.

If having a sensation like this is the worst that can happen, can you handle it?

Sensations and emotions will repeat throughout your lifetime. Your willingness to be uncomfortable and just allow these sensations in your body will lead you to uncover the thoughts creating the emotion.

and evidence that you are capable. It will take the fear of the unknown out of it.

2. Generating Positive EmotionEmotion is fuel.

All emotion is caused by the thoughts going on in your head. When you want to generate an emotion, you want to shift your focus to deliberately give your brain a new focus point. Changing the thought you are thinking will change the emotion.

emotion.

positive.

to feel it.

In great acting the actor BECOMES the character instead of pretending to be the character. The process is one of believing and inhabiting. You end up acting FROM the belief instead of just going through the motions of a script.

When you act FROM the belief, the emotion will fuel your actions.

DAY 2


How to Generate Emotion

1. What is the emotion you want to feel?

2. Why?

3. What are some thoughts that generate this emotion?

4.to believe thoughts, but you are genuinely BEING with these thoughts).

5. What evidence can you brainstorm to cement these thoughts?

Questions

What would you do if you believed this in an unexpected situation?

How does this feeling change how you react and work with people?

In order to keep feeling the desired emotion, you have to stay committed to thinking and BEING the thoughts you are believing.

Remember that your mind will always want to go back to old programming

now CHANGING that paradigm. This will take daily practice.

It puts your life in your control.


Loving the UnlovableCharity Funk and Brooke Castillo

How can we get better at being loved and loving?

This is the only class that really matters.

What can I do to feel love?

What can I do to feel loved?

If you can answer these two questions, you have the secret to the universe.

Here is what I know...

Love is always an option.

Love is always the best option.

Love feels great.

Withholding love feels terrible.

Love is for YOU, not the other person.

Love always has a good result.

Love never hurts.

Lack of love never protects.

Unconditional love is a skill.

It means you love someone no matter what.

You love them when they come up short of basic decency.

You love them when they get it completely wrong.

When we remember that contrast is part of the human experience, we stop using it as an excuse not to love someone.

DAY 2


Practicing loving unconditionally lets us love ourselves unconditionally.

No matter what the problem is, you can always ask, “What would love do?

Love always does the best thing.

We deserve to feel it. We deserve to know it.

LOVABILITY

You being loved or not loved is not about you.

Remember how I taught you that earlier?

Your lovability has to do with my CAPACITY to love you, not the other way around.

Think of a rose.

How lovable is a rose?

Depends on who loves it, right?

Same is true for you.


to love you.

Your lovability is absolute.

Are you getting it?

lovable.

Same is true if you are loved tremendously.

THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO BECOME MORE LOVABLE.

The only thing that can change how much someone loves you is their ability, decision, and capacity to love you.

So relax.

You are as lovable as you will ever be.

You always have been.

Day 2 Workshop

Worksheets



Kara Loewentheil

How to Choose a Goal Thought (Round 1)1. Pick something in your life that you want to change. Something

you do/don’t do or something you feel/don’t feel.

Do you want to make more money? Love your body? Stop yelling at your kids? Be nicer to your partner? Run a marathon? Feel loving towards someone you resent? Whatever it is, write down that area or goal here. It can be a concrete achievement or a feeling you want to have.

2. What do you currently think about this problem?

If it’s another person’s behavior or an external circumstance, why is it a problem for you? If it’s a goal you want to achieve or an action you want to take, why haven’t you already achieved that goal or taken that action?

These thoughts are your Current Thoughts.

DAY 2


3. How would you like to feel about this situation?

If your problem is an external circumstance or person, imagine that person or circumstance will not change. If you were someone who was not upset by that person or circumstance, how would you feel?

If your answer to was a goal for yourself or an action you want to start or stop taking, imagine you are someone who has no problem achieving that goal, taking that action, or stopping that behavior. How do you think they feel that helps them do those things?

4.above in Question #3?

Remember, it’s ok that you don’t yet believe this thought—that’s why we’re going to do a Thought Ladder for it in the next exercise.

NOTE: The thought you wrote above to answer Question #4 is your Goal Thought. If you can already believe your Goal Thought, that’s great! But then pick another example to work on, because you don’t need to do a Thought Ladder if you already believe it.


1.in Question #2 on the How to Choose a Goal Thought worksheet. This is your Current Thought. Write it here:

2. Do a model on your Current Thought:

C:

T:

F:

A:

R:

DAY 2


3. Now, choose a Goal Thought from the thoughts you brainstormedin Question #4 on the How to Choose a Goal Thought worksheet.Write it here:

4. Do a model on this Goal Thought:

C:

T:

F:

A:

R:


5. Create a thought ladder for this pair of current/goal thoughts.

Write down your current thought at the bottom, and your goal thought at the top. Then for each line of the ladder, brainstorm something you could try thinking that feels better than the current thought but that you can believe. You can use a “neutral” thought or an “opener” or a “closer” or any other thought that moves you towards the Goal Thought but that you can believe right now. The ladder thoughts should feel neutral or positive when you think them.

For extra credit, go up the ladder using better and better feeling thoughts as you climb towards the Goal Thought.

Goal Thought:

New Thought:

New Thought:

New Thought:

New Thought:

Current Thought:

DAY 2


6. Choose the ladder thought you want to start practicing now—whatever resonates best for you from the ones you brainstormed.This is your Ladder Thought. Write that thought here:

7. Do a model on the Ladder Thought you have chosen to practice.This will help you see how your Ladder Thought will produceresults that move you towards the results you want your GoalThought to produce.

C:

T:

F:

A:

R:


8. How will you know when it’s time to do this exercise again andmove up to practicing the next Ladder Thought or the GoalThought itself?

How to Stop Believing Your Current Thought

1. Write down the Current Thought you want to stop thinking. (Thisis the thought that you put at the bottom of your ladder for theThought Ladder worksheet).

2. Where did this thought come from? How long have you beenthinking it?

Is it something your parents taught you? Can you remember the rst time you thought it? Is it an old thought? A new thought?

DAY 2


3. Why have you chosen to keep believing this thought until now?

4. How willing are you to stop believing this thought, on a scale from


How to Start Believing Your New Ladder

1. Write down the Ladder Thought you decided to practice thinking,from the Thought Ladder worksheet.

2. Why do you want to start believing this thought? What is yourcompelling reason for believing it?

3.Ladder Thought, even when your brain wants to think your CurrentThought? What does that commitment level mean to you? (1 = not

DAY 2


4. How will you know when to practice thinking this Ladder Thought?

Imagine the circumstances in which you will want to practice this thought. What kind of external triggers (other people, events) or internal triggers (your own thoughts or feelings) will be a cue to you that it’s time to practice thinking the ladder thought on purpose?


1. Pick something in your life that you want to change. Somethingyou do/don’t do or something you feel/don’t feel.

Do you want to make more money? Love your body? Stop yelling at your kids? Be nicer to your partner? Run a marathon? Feel loving towards someone you resent? Whatever it is, write down that area or goal here. It can be a concrete achievement or a feeling you want to have.

2. What do you currently think about this problem?

If it’s another person’s behavior or an external circumstance, why is it a problem for you? If it’s a goal you want to achieve or an action you want to take, why haven’t you already achieved that goal or taken that action?

These thoughts are your Current Thoughts.

DAY 2


3. How would you like to feel about this situation?

If your problem is an external circumstance or person, imagine that person or circumstance will not change. If you were someone who was not upset by that person or circumstance, how would you feel?

If your answer to # was a goal for yourself or an action you want to start or stop taking, imagine you are someone who has no problem achieving that goal, taking that action, or stopping that behavior. How do you think they feel that helps them do those things?

4.above in Question #3?

Remember, it’s ok that you don’t yet believe this thought—that’s why we’re going to do a Thought Ladder for it in the next exercise.

NOTE: The thought you wrote above to answer Question #4 is your Goal Thought. If you can already believe your Goal Thought, that’s great! But then pick another example to work on, because you don’t need to do a Thought Ladder if you already believe it.


1.in Question #2 on the How to Choose a Goal Thought worksheet. This is your Current Thought. Write it here:

2. Do a model on your Current Thought:

C:

T:

F:

A:

R:

DAY 2


3. Now, choose a Goal Thought from the thoughts you brainstormedin Question #4 on the How to Choose a Goal Thought worksheet.Write it here:

4. Do a model on this Goal Thought:

C:

T:

F:

A:

R:


5. Create a thought ladder for this pair of current/goal thoughts.

Write down your current thought at the bottom, and your goal thought at the top. Then for each line of the ladder, brainstorm something you could try thinking that feels better than the current thought but that you can believe. You can use a “neutral” thought or an “opener” or a “closer” or any other thought that moves you towards the Goal Thought but that you can believe right now. The ladder thoughts should feel neutral or positive when you think them.

For extra credit, go up the ladder using better and better feeling thoughts as you climb towards the Goal Thought.

Goal Thought:

New Thought:

New Thought:

New Thought:

New Thought:

Current Thought:

DAY 2


6. Choose the ladder thought you want to start practicing now—whatever resonates best for you from the ones you brainstormed.This is your Ladder Thought. Write that thought here:

7. Do a model on the Ladder Thought you have chosen to practice.This will help you see how your Ladder Thought will produceresults that move you towards the results you want your GoalThought to produce.

C:

T:

F:

A:

R:


8. How will you know when it’s time to do this exercise again andmove up to practicing the next Ladder Thought or the GoalThought itself?

How to Stop Believing Your Current Thought

1. Write down the Current Thought you want to stop thinking. (Thisis the thought that you put at the bottom of your ladder for theThought Ladder worksheet).

2. Where did this thought come from? How long have you beenthinking it?

Is it something your parents taught you? Can you remember the rst time you thought it? Is it an old thought? A new thought?

DAY 2


3. Why have you chosen to keep believing this thought until now?

4. How willing are you to stop believing this thought, on a scale from


How to Start Believing Your New Ladder

1. Write down the Ladder Thought you decided to practice thinking,from the Thought Ladder worksheet.

2. Why do you want to start believing this thought? What is yourcompelling reason for believing it?

DAY 2


3.Ladder Thought, even when your brain wants to think your CurrentThought? What does that commitment level mean to you? (1 = not

4. How will you know when to practice thinking this Ladder Thought?

Imagine the circumstances in which you will want to practice this thought. What kind of external triggers (other people, events) or internal triggers (your own thoughts or feelings) will be a cue to you that it’s time to practice thinking the ladder thought on purpose?


Emotional ResponsibilityLaura Kalister

Workshop Objectives:

1.how it shows up in your life.

2. How to shift to a place of Emotional Responsibility.

3. Identify when you are stuck in an emotion.

When you don’t take emotional responsibility how does it show up?

emotional childhood. It can show up in our lives as:

Blame

Entitlement

Victimhood

We experience emotional childhood because we believe that someone or something else is responsible for our feelings. It is always because of how we have decided to feel.

Examples when I don’t take responsibility include:

With myself:

With others:

DAY 2


Outside circumstances:

How to shift to a place of Emotional Responsibility

Emotional responsibility is where anyone can do or say anything to you and you choose how to respond. Likewise, any event can occur around you and you also have a choice how to respond. You may not be in control

Taking Responsibility for Your Feelings (Round 1)

There is never a time when you are not responsible for how you feel. You might be faced with a circumstance or a person who you believe is causing your feelings, but you are always the one who is deciding how to feel. It is not what happens to you, it is what you believe about what happens to you that causes the feeling.

Name a person or circumstance you believe is causing the negative feeling:

Describe how they are/it is making you feel:


Describe why you think they have the power to create your feelings in this way:

What is the thought you are thinking that is really causing the feeling?

Can you see it is the thought and not the person or circumstance causing the feeling?

How might you take responsibility for your feelings moving forward?

DAY 2


Taking Responsibility for Your Feelings (Round 2)Name a person or circumstance you believe is causing the negative feeling:

Describe how they are/it is making you feel:

Describe why you think they have the power to create your feelings in this way:

What is the thought you are thinking that is really causing the feeling?

Can you see it is the thought and not the person or circumstance causing the feeling?


How might you take responsibility for your feelings moving forward?

When You Are Emotionally Stuck (Round 1)

in your thoughts and feelings and want to hold onto them. When this happens, here is a process which will require vulnerability and honesty to explore and determine what you really want to do next.

Name the stuck feeling:

What is the thought causing that feeling?

Write 4-5 additional sentences about why you feel stuck in this. Really

this way.

DAY 2


Is the feeling serving you? Is it helping you achieve the goals you want to achieve?

Ideally, how would you like to feel about the situation?

What could you think in order to feel that way, or at least neutral?

Are you willing to practice this new thought on a regular basis?


When You Are Emotionally Stuck (Round 2)

Name the stuck feeling:

What is the thought causing that feeling?

Write 4-5 additional sentences about why you feel stuck in this. Really

this way.

Is the feeling serving you? Is it helping you achieve the goals you want to achieve?

DAY 2


Ideally, how would you like to feel about the situation?

What could you think in order to feel that way, or at least neutral?

Are you willing to practice this new thought on a regular basis?


Practicing & Generating Emotions & Loving the

UnlovablePat Beaupre Becker and Charity Funk

How to Feel a Negative Emotion (Round 1)

The goal is to be at peace with any emotion, as it is a vibration in our body. All emotion is caused by the thoughts going on in our head.

A technique to feel your emotions is to shift focus and take deliberate control of your brain by having it pay attention to what is going in your body.

You want to shift your brain from creating the emotion to watching and observing the sensations in your body. You want to observe with no judgment.

1. Name an activity you do to avoid feeling negative emotion.

2.you allow it. Make some notes here.

3. Name the emotion.

4. Remember, the emotion is not who you are but it is somethinghappening in your body. Fill in the blank. My body is experiencing thevibration of

DAY 2


5. Welcome the fee ing by allowing it. Co-exist or accompany it. Youcan move towards it. Create a welcoming thought, for example, “I am

6. Find the thought that is causing the emotion. What is the sentencein your head?

How to Feel a Negative Emotion (Round 2)

1. Name an activity you do to avoid feeling negative emotion.

2.you allow it. Make some notes here.

3. Name the emotion.

4. Remember, the emotion is not who you are but it is somethinghappening in your body. Fill in the blank. My body is experiencing thevibration of


5. Welcome the fee ing by allowing it. Co-exist or accompany it. Youcan move towards it. Create a welcoming thought, for example, “I am

6. Find the thought that is causing the emotion. What is the sentencein your head?

How to Generate a Positive Emotion (Round 1)

Emotion is fuel. All emotion is caused by the thoughts going on in your head. When you want to generate an emotion, you want to shift your focus to deliberately give your brain a new focus point. Changing the thought you are thinking, will change the emotion

1. What is the emotion you want to feel?

2. Why? What does it feel like as a vibration in your body?

3. List 4 thoughts that generate this emotion:

A

B

C

D

DAY 2




Evidence for thought A:

Evidence for thought B:

Evidence for thought C:

Evidence for thought D:

Questions

.


.

. How would feeling this feeling change how you react and work withpeople?

In order to keep feeling the desired emotion, you have to stay committed to thinking and BEING the thoughts you are believing.

How to Generate a Positive Emotion (Round 2)1. What is the emotion you want to feel?

2. Why? What does it feel like as a vibration in your body?

3. List 4 thoughts that generate this emotion:

A

B

C

D

DAY 2




Evidence for thought A:

Evidence for thought B:

Evidence for thought C:

Evidence for thought D:

Questions

.


.

. How would feeling this feeling change how you react and work withpeople?

DAY 2


AbleAdequateAggravatedAggressiveAgitatedAloneAnnoyedAnxiousApprehensiveAshamedBad

BeatBewilderedBlueBotheredCapableCheerful

ContentCrushedDejectedDelightedDependentDepressedDesperateDeterminedDisappointedDisgustedDismayedDisorganizedDisoriented

DistressedDownDrained

DurableEcstaticElatedEmbarrassedEnergeticEnragedExcitedExhaustedExuberantFearfulFineFired UpFoggyForcefulFrightenedFrustratedFuriousFearfulFineFired UpFoggyForcefulFrightenedFrustratedFuriousGladGoodGung HoHeartbrokenHelplessHopeless

HotHurtImpotentInadequate

IncapableInsecureIrateIrritatedLazyLeft OutLethargicLifelessLostLowdownMadMellowMisplacedMixed UpMoodyNervousOutragedOverjoyedOverwhelmedPanickyPerplexedPersuasivePerturbed

PleasantPleasedPotentPowerfulProudPut OutPuzzledRegretRelievedRemorsefulRundown

Scared

SecureSeethingShakyShockedShySmallSneakySoftSorrowfulSorrySuperSure

ThreatenedThrilledTimidTiredTouchyTrappedTroubledUncomfortableUndecidedUnder ParUneasyUnhappy

UnsureUnworthyUpUpsetUptightWorriedWorthless


Top 3 Feelings

On a daily basis what are your three most common feelings?

1.

2.

3.

Why do you think you have these feelings on a daily basis?

What would you like your top three feelings to be?

1.

2.

3.

Why?

How would you results change if you changed your top three feelings? Would you keep any the same? Why?

DAY 2


Lovability

1. Make a list of Five People in your life below. Next to each person

2. Now, write your name below. How lovable are you on a scale of

3. What makes them lovable? Why did you answer the way you did for each of the people you listed above?


4. Lovability is a function of your loving. With each of the people you listed, what are the reasons you are choosing to love them more or less based on the numbers you gave for each of them? What changes when YOU take responsibility for how lovable they are?

5. Now, think of something on your body that you think is unlovable. Why do you think it is unlovable? Write freely and without editing.

6. What do you think would make it more lovable?

DAY 2


7. How can you improve your ability to love (love-ability) the part of you that you are naming unlovable?


Unconditional Love

1. Think of someone who is challenging for you to love.

2.

3. What are your thoughts about this person that prevent you from loving them more?

4. What conditions have you put on loving them? List them here.

5. What does it feel like when you have chosen not to love them?

DAY 2


6. What would it be like to love them without condition?

7. What would it take and be like to love them in this moment?

8. serve you?

9. Is there ever a time that love is not a good choice? Why or why not?


Notes:

DAY 2


Notes:

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