polly's day
TRANSCRIPT
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POLLYS DAY.
Polly put the kettle on. Black kettle on the black hob. Black against the black and white of
her uniform. Maid of the house. Servant of all. She put the kettle down carefully, not
wanting to burn or scald as she did as a child. Her hand, seven -year-old hand, burned, pink
to red. Her mother put butter on it. Her father moaned about the expense, said, Oughta
mind where she put her damned hand. Gone now. He died. Good riddance. Polly smiledand stood back.
Listened for sounds. None yet. Too early. Upstairs slept late. Downstairs, she, Mrs Gripe,
and Dudman each did their thing in a dull silence. She moved around the kitchen keeping
her eye on Gripe, whose mouth moaned constantly like a dripping tap. Fat woman Gripe
who ate as she cooked for those upstairs. Lazy gits, Polly mused. Mistress Elmore, Lady of
some sort, dull-witted as a broom, nose bird-like, mouth yakked like silver spoon type. Polly
touched a cup. Felt the smoothness of the whiteness and the flowered pattern. It sat in a
saucer of said pattern. She lifted them to her lips and held out her small finger. Gripe in the
larder. Lifted to her lips and poured daintily imagined tea with her finger outwards. She
smiled and put down the cup and saucer gently and looked at the teapot. Bone china.
Expensive. Cost a years wages no doubt she mused. She lifted the lid. Tealeaves waiting for
hot water. She looked around her. Gripe still out of sight. Polly spat in the teapot and put
the lid back on.
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Dont stand about, girl, Gripe moaned, waddling back from the larder, her bust three steps
ahead of her nose. Plenty to do, Gripe added pointing about with her stumpy finger.
Polly nodded her head, her white cap moved slightly. Her hands folded against her stomach
waiting for work. Just waiting, Polly said.
For what? Gripe said.
Water to boil, Polly said. Gripe pulled a face, looked at the kettle, black against the hobs
blackness. Make her tea, Polly said.
Her? Gripe said. Her? Lady Elmore is not a her. Gripe heaved up her bust and waddled
off to the cupboard for something. Wheres that Susie? Gripe asked, back turned,
backside like a bull.
In the scullery, Polly replied, preparing something or looking for something. Polly pulled
a face at Gripes backside. Stuck up her fingers.
Susie was called. Gripes voice like foghorn in a mist. Dudman trotted in as if hes got
haemorrhoids. Stared at Gripe and glared at Polly. Looked around the kitchen. Nose raised
for smells. Ears cocked for sounds. Hands held church-like under his chin thinking.
Polly, he said, idle hands, make work for the Devil. Scanned his eyes over Pollys attire.
The white cap hanging out of place. The hair dragged together hastily as if straight from bed
without brush or care. His eyes ran over her, taking in her eyes, h er chin, her still hands, herlegs shapely beneath the black and white uniform. Get that teapot warmed. Cup and
saucer ready? said Dudman, moving away from Polly searching for Susie.
Gripe dragged a huge saucepan to the hob, her muscled arms like a labourers. Polly went to
the kettle and felt the side. Steam began to ease from the spout. She looked at Gripe. Fat
cow, mused Polly, preparing to move the kettle to the teapot. Hot handle. Decided to hold
with a cloth.
Susie entered the kitchen pushed in by Dudman, his finger poking her back. Susie took off
the kettle and looked at Polly. Make the tea, bellowed Dudman, pointing to the teapot.
Polly removed the teapot lid and Susie poured in the steaming water to mix with the
tealeaves and spit.
Gripe moaned. Dudman listened. Sounds from upstairs. Voices from afar. Susie put the lid
on the teapot. Polly placed it on a tray with the cup and saucer and sugar bowl and milk jug
and silver teaspoon.
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You, girl, Gripe moaned, pointing at Susie, take the b reakfast tray up presently. Polly can
take up the tea. Susie nodded, stood back arms folded. Polly lifted the tray and walked to
the door. Dudman glared at her. Gripe stared at Susie. Open the door for her, Gripe said.
Susie came to life, ran to the door, and opened it. Polly winked. Susie nodded. The door
closed as Polly ascended the stairs the back way, the servants staircase. The below stairs
way.
Polly carried the tray to the foot of the stairs. She looked up at the flight of carpeted stairs
and sighed. Ive been up and down these damned stairs at their beck and call since I started
this job. Maid. Servant. Skivvy to the lazy sods. She put her first foot on the stair. Her back
shoe unclean; her black stocking had a hole on the ankle revealing a sp ot of flesh. Mrs Gripe
would have a go if she saw that. Darn it shed say. Get those idle fingers of yours to work my
girl. Silly fat crab. Sighed. Polly do this, Polly do that.
Lifted second foot on the stair. She held the tray steady against her bosom. The teapot slid
slowly. The cup and saucer shifted too. Grabbed sugar bowl. Placed her chin on teapot lid
and steadied her balance. Looked at the stairs. Sighed. Raised the tray slowly and held hard
against her stomach. Breathed hard.
Lifted her foot on to another stair. Saw a mouse last month just at the top landing. Almost
dropped the tray and broke the precious china. Her ladyship came out in her nightgown and
bellowed, Perkins! What are you doing? Youll raise the dead with such noise. She looked
like the dead herself. Face like a wet flannel. Hair sticking out all over the place.
Lifted her second foot on to the next stair. Darn that hole. Flesh to flesh. Susie just behind
now. Carrying another tray with the breakfast. Poked in the back with the said tray. Whats
taking you so long? said Susie.
Looked back. Pulled a face. Poked a tongue. Sighed. Quiet or old Gripell be up here, Polly
muttered. Moved further to the next stair. Susie stopped and juggled her tray. She fidgets in
bed at night. Huddled together against the bloody cold in the attic. Her feet in the back. Her
breath down the neck. Her cold hands round the waist. Skinny bitch.
Raised feet up the remaining stairs. Tray balanced between stomach and breast. Cup and
saucer moved. Teapot steadied, but sugar bowl shook against left tit. Breathed hard. Eyes
stared at tray and then on top stair and then the landing. No mouse. Thank God. Looked
back. Susie pulled a face. Poked a tongue. Her tray chock full of breakfast. She moved
upward. Her eyes hard down on the tray. Hands gripped about the thing. Feet moved.
Brown carpet against Black and white of the uniform. Her cap white. Her face pale. Her lips
bitten by her teeth in concentration.
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Stood outside the door. Tray balanced on stomach. Raised hand formed into a fist ready to
knock. Hesitated. Fist poised. Tray between stomach and breast. Tap gently. Want to
hammer door down. However, tap gently. Tap.
Susie on the top step. Poked the back. Giggled softly. Silly cow. Tapped again . No response.
Tap a little louder. No response. Susie giggled. Poked the back. Hard knuckle against the
wood. Tap, tap, and tap.
Susie sighed. Arms ached. Hands shook. Sniffing sound. Susies cold. All night sniff, sniff.
Wheres she got to? Susie said. Perhaps shes dead. Wishful thinking. No such. Tray
shook. Noise of rattling. Giggled. Sniffed.
Tapped again. Teacup and saucer moved. Teapot spout touching left breast. Memories.
Years since. Come on old crab. Sound of movement. Whispers. Voice behind door. Fro m the
bed no doubt. Come in! Susie smiled. Goofy grin. Silly beggar. Sniff, sniff.
Opened door and entered. Her ladyship up in bed; hands on knees, face stern as sour
grapes. Tray steadied. Moved to foot of the bed and stared. The dull eyes peer. The lips
moved. The voice reed thin said, On the side table, Perkins.
Yes, madam, Polly said. Moved tray with hands to said table and put down gently. Stand
and gaze at flannel face.
Susie entered. Sniff, sniff. Face stiff. Eyes down on her tray. Lips bitten by teeth. Here,Simmons, here, girl, said reed voice. Susie took the tray to the bed. Hands shook. Nose
dripped. Face stiff as cardboard. Looked and gaped. Tray placed on bed. Hands fall to side.
Face motionless. Sniffed. Her ladyship flicked fingers to dismiss. Susie curtsied. Sniffed.
Wiped nose on sleeve. Polly raised eyes heavenward. Pulled a face. Poked a tongue. Her
ladyship breathed daintily. Hand held silver spoon. Lips parted. You can go, Simmons, said
reedy voice. Turned head gazed. You, Perkins, wait.
Susie nodded. Sniffed. Leaves room backwards. Gave a look. Giggle held in check. Door
closed. Sneeze. Sniff. Cold attic. Frozen hands on waist. Feet like blocks of ice on back. Cold.
Sniff, sniff down the stairs. Gone. Good riddance, silly fish-face. Sniff, sniff until out of
earshot. Silence, except for the ladys slobbering lips. The hand and the silver spoon. The
eyes cold as Susie's feet. Ignored until needed. Polly motionless. Feet unfrozen. Hands by
side. Stiff as soldiers. No such luck. No such luck.
Polly waited. Eyes settled on the wall opposite. Now and again secretly, the eyes moved to
the lips and the lifted spoon. Silver spoon slightly tainted, not her job, but Dudman would
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blame her. Stiff necked and pinched-faced. The ladys eyes met Pollys. Coldness as if
touched by a corpse. The head held so. The chin poised as if half way between words. The
nose lifted for scent; the ears for sounds. Pollys eyes averted. The mind full of tricks. The
waiting game. How long between slurps, she wondered. The lips parted as if words were
about to be spilt out, but none came. The hand raised; the spoon paused. Sighed, the lady.
Polly held in check the ever -ready smile; the grin settled behind her mask of solemnity. The
hands held in front of her stomach; clutched in a prayer gesture; fingers entwined. What a
face shes got on her, Polly mused. What a sight for sore eyes, she mused deeper, thinking
of his Lordship away in the country, and Master George off somewhere with his regiment,
out of sight and out of touch. Thank the Lord for that, Polly thought, lifting her chin, sensing
the ache in her back with the stiffness of it all.
Tea, Perkins! the lady said. The tray emptied. Moved to one side. Eyes on Polly; on how
she moved; how the uniform seemed drab; the girl such a mess, Lady Elmore thought,
taking a breath, settling back against her pillow. Polly moved. The tray of tea things in her
hands steadied; the eyes on the bed; and where to place the damned thing, she mused,
sensing the eyes on her critical, a sigh breathed out. Laid tray gently on the bed as if baby in
a cradle had to be laid there instead of tea, jug, and such things. The ladys head nodded;
the eyes settled on the cup and saucer; the teapot; the sugar bowl and jug. Elmore wants it
poured, Polly mused, moving forward, placing finger on teapot, arranging teacup, and
saucer just so, turning all to be in reach.
Pour, Perkins, The lady said. Head to one side as if she were a bird awaiting a worm. Polly
nodded. Sighed under breath. Let hand gently move cup; lift teapot above at an angle; not
to let drips fall in the lap; not allow hot tea to scald. The thought, held in check like grin andamusement, permitted the task to be done with the solemnity shed practised, repeatedly in
her sleep. Could sleep now. Coldness in her bones from attic and bed. Susie and her damned
cold feet on her back; her grubby fingers around the waist clutching for warmth. The tea
poured. The cup settled calm; the spoon, silver and tainted by the side. The ladys fingers
lifted the milk jug. Poured with daintiness; held between the two fingers; poised as if about
to dance some ballet in miniature.
Polly watched. Sighed softly. Sensed dampness between armpits; felt her stomach rumble;
her eyes scanned the room; the window; the curtains. Such a room shed never have; never
sleep in such a bed; or have scene of greenery and blossoming trees. Pollys had rooftops
and dark walls or dull skies; damp walls and the scent from the chamber pot after a nights
pee. The cup lifted and set before lips. Poised. The hand held in mid air like a bird of prey
waiting; the small digit pointing outwards. The other hand rose and waved Polly back to her
place. Moved backward. Footsteps slow. Eyes lowered to the floor. Head forward slightly as
if waiting her beheading. Polly sensed the wall against her back. Brought her hands over her
stomach; settled as if to protect entrance. Master George; hands on and hands off,
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depending on his mood. Away now, Polly mused, running her tongue over lower lip, taking a
small bite of her inner cheek. A cough. Elmore choking on her tea? No such luck. Polly raised
the eyes. Elmore closed her eyes. Gone down the wrong way. The tea. Serves her right, Polly
mused, hiding a smile. The lady told her to move the tray. And the other one, Susie, dull girl,
to take the other. The cough settled. The face flushed. The eyes watery. The hands clutched
together like virgin's legs, Polly mused, lifting the tray and curtsying and moving backwards.
Holding the tray against her stomach, she opened the door, then out in the passageway she
closed it with a gentleness of a tap on the back of a child. Sighed. Grinned. Poked out a
tongue. Moved to the top of the landing and stared at the stairs. Susie came upwards. A
smile broad as a horses backside on her face; her hair gripped poorly trying to escape her
cap. Her nose dripping and reddened. Susie stomped the stairs. Giggled behind her hand;
pulled a face and nodded towards the far off door where Elmore waited. Let her wait, S usie
whispered; let her rot in her bed, Polly mused, remembering cold feet, and a sniffing nose
and the coldness embracing her in the attic like death itself enfolding her close in the dark
and damp. Smiled. Sighed. Such is life. Life is such. This life.
Polly peeled potatoes; gouged eyes. Sliced through skin; ripped away into the sink. Dudman
the butler loomed large pacing beside Gripe the cook. Wish it was his neck, Polly mused.
Smiled. Lifted her eyes to the window on the back garden. Air. Fresh air. Tu rned back to the
potato; peeled more.
Wheres Simmons? Dudman asked. Polly turned and gazed at him.
Upstairs. She held the knife and the potato motionless.
Whats the girl doing? Shes supposed to be here, Gripe moaned.
Polly shrugged her shoulders; turned to stare at the sink and potatoes. Gouged the eyes.
Imagine its Dudmans neck. Slit slit the knife soft and fast. Mind the fingers. Need them.
Sighed.
Susie entered the kitchen; had the look of fear on her face; in her eyes.
Where have you been girl? Dudman asked; barked. Stood upright.
Been doing the backstairs. Dirty with dust, Susie mumbled; put the broom and dustpan
away in the cupboard.
Took you long enough, Dudman moaned. Walked to the girl; pulled her towards Gripe at
the stove stirring the large saucepan. He stood her at the table; put her hands in the bowl of
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peas to be shucked and washed. Work is the way to salvation, he said, moving away,
staring at the girls thin back, at her small behind beneath the black dress. Imagined.
Polly imagined Dudman's neck sliced through and his eyes gouged. She smiled. Good
riddance. She took a side-glance; caught Susies eyes filled with tears. Bastard Dudman and
his cruel ways. Ought to be in uniform with others getting his head blown off in the
trenches. Poor Susie; poor bitch. Cold feet on her in bed at night. Freezing bloody attic.
Share a bed with anyone in such a climate. Huddle huddle cuddle warm. Back embraced in
need for warmth.
Get a move on, Perkins, Gripe moaned, giving the dark stare, the fat arms folded
momentarily away from the stirring. Polly turned away, plunged her hands into the water;
grabbed the potato, slit and gouged.
Dudman walked off and out along the passage. Susie put out her tongue at his going; tears
washed her eyes. Leaned her stomach on the tableside. Cursed under her breath. Glanced
at Polly, smiled weakly. Wanted to hug and hold.
And when youve done that girl, these pots want washing, Gripe griped. Pulled face like
broken glass; wiped her brow with the back of her large mitt. Her bust broad as a battleship
heaved and heaved as she moved off into the larder down the passage. Thump thump her
large feet away and away.
Bitch! Susie moaned, no rest for the wicked, smiled weakly.
Hes back tonight, Polly whispered.
Who? Susie replied, vacant look and folded brow.
Master George, Polly said softly, words as butter in her mouth.
So? Susie said. More work, and hands on the backside.
Polly grinned. More to the man than eyes see. Remembered nights when he was here last
on leave. The bed rocking; the kisses; sighs, holding and releasing. Hope so, she said,
looking for Gripes return, hushing her voice in the excitement.
Who said? Susie asked, pushing peas out of a shuck.
Her upstairs, old silver-spoon chops, Polly said,
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Polly stomped the stairs; back stairs; servants stairs, dark and dingy. The voice of Mrs Gripe
still rang in her ears; the stinging flick of Dudmans hand still clung to her backside. The
Master is home later today, Dudman had said. Now she had to get the room prepared and
aired. On the go all the time. No rest for the wicked, as Gripe was always saying. Polly
stopped dead on the top of the stairs; stared along the passage. Shed seen a mouse here
the other day; it nigh made her wet herself. Nothing. Clear. Sighed with relief.
She opened the door of the Masters bedroom; smelt the stale air. Smiled. Hed had her
here some months back. In that bed as well, she mused pushing the door closed behind her
with her rump. She drew the dark-blue curtains; let in the morning light. She opened the
window; the cool air of day entered in; flapped about her head.
Gazing at the bed she folded her arms and thought of she and Master George laying there.
What Dudman or Gripe would have said she didnt want to think. "Between you and me,"
George had muttered. Not a word outside this room." She smiled again. Sighed. Shed have
to make up the bed; tidy the room; make it fit for the Prince himself if he came, she mused,
tapping the bed with her fingers. Shed rather sleep here with him, than with Sus ie with her
cold feet and hands, she thought, going out the door to get her mop and bucket and the rest
of the things she needed. Poor Susie. Cold as ice shed be.
Returning with what she needed she started to sweep, dust and mop the floor. She made
the bed, polished the woodwork; arranged flowers in a vase by the window. Time passed.
Silence alone. No Gripe or Dudman to moan or nag.
She sat on the bed; stared at the pillows and thought of Master George. She brushed her
left hand along the bed cover. Leaned forward; kissed the pillow. Sighed deeply.
Whatcha doing? Susie said, standing by the doorway.
None of your business, Polly said, rising from the bed; glaring at the other maid. Creeping
upon me like that. Enough to give a girl a heart attack.
Susie grinned. Polly scowled. Polly gathered her things; made for the door.
Gripe wants yer, Susie said, standing leaning against the doorframe.
Whats she want now? Polly moaned. Heaving a sigh.
Says you been gone for hours. Susie pulled a face. Mimicked Gripe.
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Polly sniggered. Give her blooming hours. Hours of agony if I had my way, she mused,
stomping along the landing with mop, bucket and broom. Susie followed. Noisily Polly put
the things in the cupboard; closed the door with a heavy thump. She dusted off her hands;
wiped them on her uniform. She looked at Susie; stared at the frightened, timid eyes.
Thought of her cold fingers around the waist in the night, in their bed in the attic. She
shivered at the memory; embraced herself momentarily. Raised her eyebrows; blew Susie a
kiss; imagined it was George.
Dudman appeared along the landing. A face of thunder. Hands behind his back as if he were
hiding something in a childish game. He walked heavily towards them. Susie shook. Polly
unfolded her arms; fiddled with her fingers.
You are needed, he bellowed. No time to linger and waste time. Time and tide, he
began but did not finish. He poked Susie in the breast; thumbed her on her way. Susie
scampered off. Is the room ready? he barked.
Of course it is, Polly said. Whatcha think Ive been doing?
Dudman waved his finger in front of her face. His stern features icy and cold. Respect girl,
he stated, remember your place. I know your place, Polly mused, six feet under and no
mistake. You can always be replaced. His words lingered like a bad smell; she screwed up
her nose. He walked around her as if she were a commodity he thought of purchasing. He
paused behind her; eyed her rear. Polly held her breath. S ensed his eyes on her like fingers
invading her person. Lady Elmore will want you, Perkins. Best be on your way, he said.
Yes Mr Dudman, Polly said. She backed away and turned. Bloody fool, she mused, wanting
to give him the fingers, but thought it best not to; walked at her pace along the passage,
knowing his cold eyes were watching her every move; knew what his hands wanted to do;
wished him dead as the Dodo; wished him to H ell and rotting.
Dudman watched her go; watched the way her hips moved side to side in a soft rhythmic
pattern; wondered and wished; sighed into his chest like a bull; slowly followed her along
the passage like death on the prowl.
Polly stood and gazed from the window of Master Georges room. Held back the lace
curtains; pressed her small nose against the glass pane. Breath made glass steam up. She
brushed it with her hand; gazed at the drive where Master Georges car would come. Best
not let Dudman catch me here; hell to pay for if he does, she mused, looking back into the
room briefly. Silence. No one.
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She sniffed the air of the room; stared at the bed and the neatness of it; the way she had
smoothed down the bedcover; made the pillows just so. She tried to recall him and her lying
in the bed the last time he was home and remembering, she sighed. Missed him, his touch
and kisses. And there were words, too. Soft words, softly spoken. Gentle touch. Lips on lips.
Lips on her neck. Sighed. She put her hand across her breast. Imagined him there with her;
his hand on hers; his eyes searching hers; his voice speaking.
Voices below. She returned her gaze to the window; peered down through the lace curtains
carefully so that no one might see her. Dudman with gardener; gesturing with his hands;
nodding with his silly head. She stood back from the window in case Dudman peered up.
She could see just the heads now above the windowsill. They were gone, the voices silent.
She moved forward and peered again. Both men gone. Good. Breathed out. Relieved.
Sighed.
Would Master George have her here this time? she asked, letting the curtain drop into
place. Rare moments, precious time, felt whole. Susied keep her mouth shut about it. Had
the icy bed in the attic to herself. She hated that Susie did. No one to snuggle up with
against the cold. Poor cow. Yet, she was a good sort even if she was dim as dusk.
Moving away from the window, she sat on the bed. Sensed the mattress beneath her, the
strong springs. She ran her hand over the pillow; tried to imagine his head there beside hers.
She leaned down and kissed the pillow. Sighed. Something stirred within her. Her groin
tightened. She rubbed her thigh. Pushed her hand between her thighs. Sighed.
Maybe, she mused, rising from the bed, maybe. She smoothed the bedcover and pillow;slowly walked to the door. She looked back at the window and bed. Smiled. Brushed her
hair from her forehead and closed the door with gentle thud. She gazed up and down the
passageway. No one. Still. Silent. Soon, she mused, soon, and walked a long the passageway
in her slow daydreaming fashion, swinging her duster back and forth, as if waving hello to
her secret passion and Master.
Polly waited for Susie to catch up with her on the upper landing. She spotted Susies cap was
askew; her hair stuck out at the sides untidily.
What did Dudman say? Polly asked.
Susie paused for breath. Looked at Polly with a childlike expression. To get the dining room
prepared, Susie said.
That all? Polly asked, turning around and walking off along the passageway. Susie stood
gaping at her. Anything else?
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No, Susie said, running in little steps to catch up with Polly again.
I did the dining room earlier. Polly looked ahead of her, her feet pacing along the polished
passageway.
So where are we going? Susie asked. She blinked. She stared at Pollys back, at the black
and white uniform swaying in front of her.
Out of Dudmans way for a bit, Polly muttered. She paused at a door; looked both ways
along the passageway, then opened the door and dragged Susie inside the room with her.
What we doing in here? Susie bit her lower lip; clutched her hands together; her eyes
scanned the room quickly.
Hush, Polly said in a lowered tone. Do you want Dudman waltzing in here after us? Susie
shook her head. Well keep your voice down.
Its cold in here, Susie moaned in a whisper.
What did you expect? This rooms been empty for ages, Polly said. She rubbed her hands
together and walked to the window.
Susie walked to the stripped bed; sat down hugging herself. Dont think I've been in here
before, she muttered through chattering teeth.
Polly stared out of the window. She gazed up where Master Georges car was to arrive. She
put her hands in the pockets of her apron and clutched them tightly.
What we waiting for? Susie asked looking over at Pollys behind at the window.
Im looking for someone.
Who? Susie sighed.
Master George, Polly said softly.
What you looking out for him for? Susie said. She gripped her arms round her body. Im
blooming cold.
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What do you want me to do, cuddle you? Polly muttered without turning around. She
breathed against the windowpane. Then rubbed a message on the glass with her finger.
Susie watched her. What you writing?
Youd know if you could blooming read, Polly said, rubbing out the message. She stood
back, sighed, and then sat on the bed beside Susie.
You aint going to creep along to his bed again are you? Susie asked.
If he invites me, I will, Polly said quietly. She turned to gaze at Susie. Thats if he comes,
Polly added with a sigh.
Susie nodded. The cold was creeping into her shoulders; her arms ached from clutching her
body tight. I get cold when youre not in bed with m e, Susie muttered.
Well he wont want both of us in bed with him, will he? Polly said. She breathed out;
watched her breath rise like smoke in the cold room.
Dont be crude, Susie said, pulling a face, moving closer to Polly; putting her arm through
Pollys.
Polly shook her head and smiled. I hope he comes. I feel like a blooming virgin again.
Polly! Susie said in a loud outburst.
Polly put her hand over Susies mouth. Hush to noisy cow. Do you want Dudman to come
here?
Susie shook her head; pulled away Pollys hand from her mouth.
No, sorry. She laid her head on Pollys shoulder. Dudmans a right so -and-so for a butler.
They all are, Polly whispered. All reckon theyre above their station.
Susie said nothing. She wiped her nose on Polly shoulder. She felt cosy. She wanted this
feeling to last, but she knew it wouldnt. It never did. You will stay with me tonight if he
doesnt come want you wont you? Susie asked.
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Polly nodded and sighed. No sounds. Just the sound of Susies breathing and her own in the
room. She kissed Susies head; then put the white cap straight. Best be off before old
Dudman comes looking for us like a bloomi ng bloodhound, Polly said.
The two maids rose up from the bed and walked to the door. Polly opened it gently and
peered along the passageway. No one. Quiet. She pulled Susie after her out into the
passageway; closed the door softly until it clicked shut. Taking Susies hand, she walked her
long the passageway way as she listened for sounds or signs of Mr Bloodhound Dudman
sniffing around the house in search of them. No sign. No sound. Safe. At least for now, she
mused, squeezing Susies hand, thinking of Master George, his wandering hands, his warm
cosy bed and they snuggled up close like fleas on a sweaty dog on a summers day.
Polly stood outside the door; listened. Knocked wooden panel; waited for voice of Lady
Elmore. Stared up passageway in case Dudman had followed; no sign, good, she sighed,
scratched backside, sighed again. Door opened; her ladyship stood; gazed mood -faced, hair
on end with drag through look.
There you are, Perkins, said Lady Elmore, backing away into the room, allowing Polly to
follow. Cannot abide time wasting, added she, peering around at the maid.
Had Master Georges room to prepare, Madam, Polly said, brushed hair with fingers of
right hand.
Why couldnt Simmons do that? Her Ladyship moved to the dressing table; pl onked down
with resigned sigh. Told Dudman I needed you. The Simmons girls a fool, muttered the
lady to her reflection in the mirror.
Sorry, Polly said, Mr Dudman didnt say until afterwards. She stood behind the lady;
stared at the face gazing back at her. Corpse like, Polly mused, holding back a smile, picking
up the hairbrush. Brought back hair from sour featured ones forehead; l eaned over
shoulder, smelt odour of sleep and scent. Brushed hair slow. One hand combing fingers
through hair, other hand holding silver brush; bringing through hair like a ship through
roughs seas.
Lady Elmore felt her head dragged backwards with each brushstroke. Sensed the girls
fingers through her hair. Carbolic smell filtered her nose; closed eyes; wondered how often
the girl washed; and her hands seemed soft; working hands for all that, she mused, letting
her head go back and forth like so much flotsam on waves motion.
Polly stared at closed eyes and drained features; brought brush back; let fingers seep
through like a swimmer beneath water. Lowered eyes. Hands of ladyship delicate; like the
china down stairs; thin and pale as bone. Nails long; f ingers ringed with wealth.
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The lady mused in the tide-like motion. George home. Company at last. Didnt want to lose
him; yet, she knew some young girl would have him;
The right sort, of course; no seekers of wealth, not those he mixed with at those par ties.
Opened her eyes. The girl had stopped brushing. She stared at the eyes and young features.
Fingers were undoing her gown. Such softness, she thought, the gentleness of a childs
hand. Forget that, Perkins. Sat upright, moved around, and pointed to wardrobe. The
green dress, I think, she muttered, inclining her head to one side like a dog waiting for a
bone.
Polly nodded. Went to the wardrobe. Opened up. Searched amongst a sea of dresses for a
green dress. Pulled out the nearest green. Held up wit h one hand, the other hand resting on
hip.
No, the lady said, the dark green, with the small flowers.
Polly replaced; pulled out requested dress. She smiled. More choice than Ill have in a
blooming lifetime, she mused, holding out the dress.
Yes, thats the one. Lady Elmore stood up; took dress. The girl needed better stockings;
hole there, she thought, watching Polly close the door of the wardrobe. See Dudman about
new stockings. Those are a disgrace, she stated stiffly.
Polly looked at her stockings; pulled uniform over offending hole. Blushed. Stood stiffly.Hands held awkwardly at sides.
Here, Perkins, help me, the lady said, face stern. The girls slow, she thought, holding out
the dress. The girls hands are red and rough. Yet, seemed so soft through hair, she
remembered, watching Polly lay the dress on the bed.
Polly helped undress the lady. Watched the face in the mirror of the dressing table; saw the
unloved breasts droop; wondered who saw and cared now. Well fleshed. The body held so.
The hair silk-like from brushing. The hands held in front of her as if waiting to be loved. Polly
sighed softly. Laid gown on the bed. Watched the nakedness. Wished she hadnt.
The lady searched through draws for underclothes and such. Once she woul d have had had
her own personal maid, but times were such that she had to make do with the Simmons girl
and Perkins, she reminded herself, looking at Polly brushing the dress on the bed caringly
with fingers.
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The War and war work had taken the rest. George out to France soon. She dreaded the
thought. Bit lip. Stared at the Polly in the mirror; watched the fingers brushing. Her own
daughter, Anne, married to Captain Stockbridge, hardly seen. Off up country. Missed her.
Sighed, gazing at Polly, putting on her undergarments and the rest as the girl stood opened
mouthed.
Master George be here long, madam? Polly asked, suddenly as thought escaped into
words.
Lady raised eyebrows. No, idea.
Just wondered, Polly muttered shyly, wishing she hadnt.
Have you a brother, Perkins?
Polly replied. Watched the anxiety in the features. Lifted the dress from the bed; began to
prepare for dressing of the strained- faced one. Poor George. She mused; hope hes here a
few days at least. Just a night or two. She wanted the feel and kiss of him. She watched as
she dressed. The flesh smooth and scented. The flesh of aristocracy. Lines in the features.
Ringed with wealth, the hands, she mused, looking at the nails, remembering Georges
hands on her flesh. Closing her eyes momentarily, she buttoned up the back of the dress
with the skill of her class, sensing fingers undressing her and the long lingering kiss of her
masters touch.
Polly stood in the kitchen stunned; she couldnt quite grasp the words. Mrs Gripe, the cook,
bustled about the oven, her brow wet with sweat, the hat crooked, the large eyes watery.
Not coming? Polly spoke the words as if trying them out for the first time.
Thats what I said, Mrs Gripe said, giving Polly a stare. Master George has gone to France
with his regiment, all quite suddenly. She stood still; wiped her brow with her right hand.
Polly nodded. Felt as if her heart had stopped. Image of her and George in bed began to
break-up. She wanted to ask why, now, but didnt. Paused all words. Stood staring vacantly.
Bit lip.
But theres still work to be done, Gripe said, moving about again, her lard carcass
returning to action. Cant stand about, gawping.
Polly moved slowly along by the sink. Stood clutching her hands togeth er to feel the life
there. Not coming. What if he never comes? Her mind spoke to her; her limbs wanted to
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collapse; the reality of the kitchen became doubtful. Tears filled her eyes; her lip seemed
bruised and thick where shed bitten it so long. She began to scrub the pan; blinked away
the tears; shut out Gripes endless words that still rattled on in the background lik e a talking
machine. Images of her and George in bed the last time he was home, seemed as valuable
as gems in her ladyships brooches. The bed already, too. Just done the room, the bed fresh,
waiting. Blinked eyes to dislodged tears. Damn, she muttered. Scrubbed pan harder.
Wanted to run off to the attic; curl up on the cold bed. Sighed. Sod, she muttered beneath
her breath.
Mr Dudman just told me, Gripe said, even his Lordships not coming tonight, either. Hes
got urgent business in the House of Lords, she muttered on, standing still gazing over at
Polly. She fidgeted with her breast; sighed deeply; wiped her brow again.
Polly turned around and looked at Gripe. The fat face seemed to have mellowed briefly; the
hands were all fidgety, her hat hanging off her head like a seaman clinging to a raft. Wanted
to say things and cry, but didnt. She nodded and blinked. Bit seemingly swollen l ip again.
Wanted George to come in the kitchen and laugh, kiss her and hold her, and even if Gripe
was looking, to squeeze her tightly until all breath was gone from her.
Whats got into you, Polly? Gripe said her voice soft suddenly. Hell be back in a month or
two, so Mr Dudman said.
Polly couldnt quite grasp Gripe speaking her name. She hadnt called her Polly since her
birthday and that was just the once. Eyes were watery; lip felt enlarged to twice the size.
When? was all Polly could say.
Month or so, Gripe said. Her Ladyships most upset, Mr Dudman told me. Poor dear. The
latter slipped out like a slippery eel. Gripe stood herself upright like a whale rising from the
waves. But we must carry on, Polly, mustnt we? The words were heavy like elephants
footsteps.
Polly nodded; she didnt trust for words. Tried to smile and say something, but words
clogged in her throat. Damn, she muttered inside her head and sod, came following inside,
too. Where was Dudman? Hope he dont come bellowi ng about this or that. War. Hate war.
Sighed. She turned back to the sink; scrubbed pan. Eyes were so watery she couldnt see
anything clear. Drowning in tears her mother used to say. Drown in tears, my girl, she used
to say if her father had given her a beating. Dead now. Good. Hope he rots, she said in her
head. Her hand held the pan as if it were her fathers neck; scrubbed and scrubbed. Hate
war. Hate mans folly. Wanted Georges hands around her waist; wanted him beside her in
bed; wanted him; wanted all of him.
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Gripe came behind her; touched her shoulder. We all think a lot of Master George. And are
those tears for him? You are a softy. Her Ladyshipd be touched that her staff is with her in
her moment of sadness and loneliness, Gripe said gently. Her fat features had softened;
her eyes were watery as Pollys.
Polly laid her head on Grips huge breast and sobbed. Not since her last beating had she
sobbed so. Damn. Sod. The words rattle in her head like peas in a pod. Soft, the breast of
Gripe smelt of sweat and mint; odd combination; a nest to weep into; a haven for a wrecked
ship. No Dudman. Just them. Silence. Stillness. And far off a bird sang.
Polly stood in the doorway of Mr Dudmans anteroom and stared at him at his small desk,
reading some papers.
You wanted me, Mr Dudman? she said, leaning her shoulder against the doorjamb, her
hands at her side, her white cap pushed to the back of her head, untidily.
Mr Dudman looked up at her; seemed to scan her features and then her dress. He retu rned
his gaze to the papers. Come in; close the door.
Polly entered the anteroom, closed the door behind her, and studied the room while she
waited for Dudman to speak. It was a small room; hardly big enough to swing a cat,
containing a small desk, chair and a few shelves where he kept files and a few books.
You know that Master George has been sent to France with his regiment, Dudman said,
not lifting his eyes from his papers, not noticing Polly pull a face at him, not aware herthoughts were on George and what would not be happening that night in his bed. Well,
these things happen in time of war. A man knows his duty and does it. His Lordship did his
best to keep his son from harms way as long as he could, mainly to appease her Ladyship,
but now, things being what they are France, he could not keep his son from his duty any
longer. Dudman paused; lifted his eyes to Polly. He seemed to study her quite intently for a
few moments, Then proceeded to say, Mrs Gripe told me you had been upset by Master
Georges not coming come home tonight, and as commendable as that may be, you showing
your feelings for Master George, and his safety and so on, I must impress that he is doing
what all loyal subjects of His Majesty must do, and that is go where he is bi d, and perform
his duty to the best of his abilities, no matter what the dangers may be. He paused; lifted
his head and scanned Pollys hair and her cap.
Yes, Mr Dudman, Polly said and kept her face as straight as she could; did not allow any
sign, of what she felt about George and his departure, to show.
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You are an untidy girl; your cap is not as it ought to be, Dudman said, letting his eyes
lower themselves to her face. Pretty thing, he mused, taking in her eyes; watching as she
moved her cap forward; how the fingers moved. He looked down at her breast beneath the
black and white uniform, at the smallness of it, at the way she held herself.
Polly looked at Dudmans eyes on her; at the way he gawped at her; his eyes greedy and
supping her up, she thought, but saying nothing. She pulled at her apron, at her dresss
hem. Anything else, Mr Dudman? she eventually said, lifting herself to her full five -foot-
five height. She sighed softly; scratched her thigh; watched Dudmans eyes leave her and go
back to his papers.
I am not a fool, Perkins, he said stiffly, pretending to be absorbed in the papers, I know
what you were up to in Master Georges room the last time he was here. Dudman paused;
lifted his eyes to Pollys face. He noticed she blushed slightly. Dirty little bitch, he mused,
putting the papers down on the desk; moving himself in the chair so that he faced her head
on.
Doing? Polly said. Doing what? she added, trying to stop herself from blushing, but
unable to stop the blood rising to her face.
Dudman stood stiffly; stared down at her. You are not the first maid to be utilized by a
young master; not the first maid to throw herself at a young master in the hope of lifting
herself to the upper classes. He paused. He wanted to let his words sink into her head. Had
it been Susie Simmons he wouldnt have wasted his words on her, being as she was, he
thought, a half-wit, but Polly was different; she had an intelligence of sorts; she had beautyof a different measure than most.
Polly glared at Dudman. I did no such thing, she protested, trying to keep her tongue in
check, tried to hold back with her temper.
Dudman showed signs of frustration. He coughed. He lifted his frame to his six -foot-two and
walked around the maid. Do not insult my intelligence by lying, girl. I know; I have one as
witness.
Witness? Polly said, her eyes narrowing onto Dudmans nose.
Yes, Dudman said, Simmons. She said you often crept along to Master Georges room
and stayed there all night. He stood behind her and studied her back, letting his eyes move
down to her backside. He sighed under his breath.
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Polly felt anger rise into her breast; sensed her features redden further. The bitch. Susie,
you cow, she mused, wanting at that moment to pull Susies hair and slap her face. Shes
lying, Polly suggested, hoping to defend herself against the truth.
It is you who are lying; you have added being a liar to being a whore, Dudman said coldly.
Polly was stunned by his words as if hed slap her face with them. She pushed her hands into
her apron pockets; stood upright and turned to face him. I love him, she murmured.
Nothing sordid, she added. Tears welled up in her eyes; her stomach tightened; her hands
folded into fists in the pockets.
Dudmans features moved slightly at her words. He had not expected the word love to creep
into the room, had not expected her eyes to water as they had begun to do. Fool, he mused,
carrying a vision of her small backside with him, wishing it had been he that the word love
had been attached to. But it hadnt; he knew and knew it never would. If Lord Elmore knew
what you had been up to, you would be dismissed, Dudman said quietly, studying her eyes
as they watered more.
He doesnt know, Polly said. She sniffed; wiped her nose with a small grey handkerchief
and looked at a picture on the wall above Dudmans desk.
Maybe not yet, Dudman said, but these things get around, he added.
Polly looked away from the picture and stared at Dudman. Are you going to tell him? Polly
muttered.
Dudmans features betrayed nothing. I would not lower myself to pass gossip, but there
are some who might.
Who? Polly asked.
That silly girl, Simmons, for one, Dudman suggested. He watched for her reaction; looked
at her face for signs.
She wouldnt dare, Polly said.
She told me. Dudman pulled his lips into a small smile.
I bet you threatened her, Polly said, holding back the tears as best she could.
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I needed to know. I wanted to know what was going on. I am the butler here; I have to
know what goes on. He paused; sat down again in his chair and picked up the papers.
So, what are you going to do? Polly looked at Dudmans dark hair, cut short; his stiff collar,
his black clothes.
Now that I know the truth, nothing. And nor are you. You will not again go anywhere near
Master Georges room when he is here; you will not enter his room without my permission.
Do you understand? Dudman said. He looked at Polly with an expression of a judge about
to pass sentence.
Polly nodded; she sniffed and wiped her nose. She had expected him to demand something
from her for his silence, but he hadnt. She wanted to spit at him; to slap his smug face; to
pull his dark hair from the roots, but she didnt. She bit her lip. For a few moments the
thought of Dudman demanding something from her, calling her into his room at night,
pulling her into his bed, made her feel nauseous.
You understand what I have said? Dudman said stiffly.
Yes, Mr Dudman, Polly said, looking at the door, wanting to escape.
Then we will say no more about it. He returned his eyes to the papers.
You may go; you have work to do. He waved his hand at her to dismiss her from his room.
Polly went to the door and opened it. She gazed at Dudman, studied his features above the
papers, saw that he had no more interest in her or her doings, walked into the passageway,
and closed the door behind her.
Dudman lifted his eyes as Polly turned to go out the door. He liked her figure; loved her
strength; her eyes; the way her body swayed when she walked. But he knew she would
keep; knew he had the key to her now. And with that thought, he lowered his eyes to the
papers as Polly closed the door with a gentle click, and allowed a smile to spread thinly over
lips like spilt red ink over a white cloth.
Polly knocked at the door; gentle raps; knuckles against wood. She listened for reply. None
came; knocked again, harder. Listened; heard rustle of clothes; movement behind the door.
The door opened; Lady Elmore stood as if death had visited early.
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Come in, Perkins, Lady Elmore said, nodding for Polly to enter. The tray is over there,
she added, pointing to the tray over on a side table. She followed Polly across the room and
stood behind her as she went to pick up the tray. Wait, dont go, just yet.
Polly paused; turned and gazed at her ladyship, ready to sigh; show signs of her ill temper,
but didnt. She stood with her hands at her side, a mask of contentment on her face. Her
thoughts were on Master George and his vacant bed.
Youve heard I expect that my son isnt to come home tonight, Lady Elmore said
mournfully, staring at Polly, taking in the girls features, the tiredness about the eyes, the
drawn expression on the face.
Polly nodded, Yes, Madam, sorry to hear of it, Polly said, thinking of Georges caresses and
kisses when he was last home.
Lady Elmore studied the eyes deeper, saw sorrow there; genuine, she mused, turning away;
sitting on a chair by the dressing table. Ive doubts hell come back, she murmured, her
voice suddenly choked. She gazed at Pollys reflection in the mirror. Many have died in that
place. Day after day names appear. 1916 has been a bad year. I fear that his name will be
there amongst the rest one day. She paused and taking a handkerchief from her dress
wiped her eyes.
Polly felt tightness in her breast, as if someone had gripped her there; someone had pushed
into her breast some knife of hurt. No, Madam, Polly said before she could hold back the
words, before the wisdom of servitude could enlighten her mind. She sensed the visions of George go.
Lady Elmore stared at Pollys expression in the mirror and frown ed. Daily, Perkins, names
and names and names. I fear his will be there. And my husband has failed this time to keep
my boy safe. Chill entered her words. She sighed. Wiped her eyes again. Sat up; gazed at
the maid behind her chair. She thought she detected watery eyes, a haunted expression
about the mouth.
Master George cant die, Madam, he cant, Polly blurted out, wanting George to enter her
again, to hold her near.
Lady Elmore turned her head and frowning more said, But he can, Perkins, thats my deep
worry. Its no good you saying he cant, when he can.
Polly sensed tears linger on her lower eyelids; sensed her lips beginning to tremble. Bloody
fool, she mused, get a grip of yourself. But she felt unlike herself, as if another stood where
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she stood and anothers voice was speaking. He mustnt die. Hes so much to live for, she
murmured, seeing his dark eyes on her, his hands touching her flesh.
Lady Elmore was out of her depth; never had one of her servants spoke like this. Calm
yourself, girl, calm. Anyone would suppose he was your son, your brother, that faced
death, Lady Elmore muttered, reaching out and tapping Pollys hand, feeling the flesh, the
hand chilled, the skin rough.
Polly sensed the soft hand touch hers; felt the flesh against hers. She bit her lip to prevent
further rushes of words. Said too much; spoken out of turn; not my place to say such, she
mused darkly, looking at the lady staring at her, the eyes almost human, the mouth slightly
poised for more words.
My only son, Lady Elmore said. My only son. she released the maids hand; turned to
face her own reflection in the mirror. Why do men have wars? Why such slaughter? She
paused and sat forward and wiped her eyes. She noticed the maid was wiping her ow n eyes
on a grey coloured rag; saw the eyes watery, the features drawn. Why, Polly, why?
The fact that Lady Elmore had called Polly by her first name brought Polly to a certain
awareness of who she was and where she was. Sorry, Madam, I quite like Master George,
and him being off to France, and the chance that he might not come back to us, is too much
to think about, and I am so sorry. The words drifted off; silence rested between them.
Both women looked away from each other. Both felt uneasy. Polly scratched her thigh. An
itch. She coughed to clear her throat. Shall I take the tray now, Madam?
Lady Elmore looked at the maid. Yes, she said softly. But then she stood up and touched
Pollys arm. I feel deep sorrow; I sense my sons death may be near, but I want you to pray
for him; pray hard; pray he will be spared.
Polly nodded. Of course, I will, Madam. As hard as I have ever done. She felt the hand on
her arm tighten; sensed a stretching out of boundaries of class by one hand. She looked at
the face opposite, at the tears there and the lips drawn thin and wide across the face.
Lady Elmore sniffed and released the arm of her maid. She sighed and coughed. Let loose a
small smile. Take the tray, now, Perkins. I need nothing more. She turn ed away, walked to
the window, and looked out at the evening sky.
Polly nodded and picked up the tray. She walked to the door; opened the door with one
hand, and giving one final glance at the lady at the window, closed the door with a gentle
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click, and walked along the passageway with the thought of George and his kisses lingering
in her mind.
Polly began to undress ready for bed; the attic room was cold; she hurried out of her maids
uniform and into her nightgown. She heard Susie sniffing from the be d; sniff sniff, sniff sniff.
Bloody cold. All I need all night is her sniffing and coughing. Folded the uniform over a chair;
looked at the black woollen stockings with the tiny hole. Must sew that or Ill have old Gripe
on at me. She put the stockings on the chair. Her fingers felt cold already. She glanced over
at Susie lying in bed; her head on the pillow, her skinny body snuggled down beneath the
sheet and blankets and the thick bedcover that Miss Anne had given them when she came
last. Good she is the Elmores daughter. Not penny-pinching like her parents. More sniffs
from Susie.
I hope youre not going to lie there sniffing all night, Polly said.
Susie said nothing, but sniffed again; pulled the blankets tighter around her.
Im sorry I smacked your face, Polly said, but when Dudman said you told tales on me I
got angry. She stood and stared at Susie snuggled down like a mole.
Susie poked her head out of the blankets and gazed at Polly. You didnt have to hit me,
Susie said. He said that if I didnt tell the truth, Id be thrown out with no references, and I
was always told by my dad to tell the truth, and if I didnt I was given a beating, and so I
always tell the truth, but I didnt mean to tell tales, but it was true and well I was
frightened. Susie paused, her thin face, pale as the moon, pleaded forgiveness.
Polly pouted, sighed, shrugged her shoulders, went to the window, and looked out at the
roofs of the houses in their part of London. It was dark, but street lamps lit up the ghostly
sight.
Mr Dudman stared at me with those eyes of his; you know how they frighten me; how he
can make my life hell if he wants to and he seemed to know about you and Master George;
and the way he said it, I thought it was already known by him, and I didnt mean to let it
come out, but he asked me where you went at night when Master George was here, and I
said I didnt know, but he said, I did, and I didnt want to tell lies because of my dad, and the
beatings and so Susie stopped; she saw Polly stare at her and put a finger to her lips to
indicate for her to shut up.
Polly sighed. Id given her a bloody beating if Id caught her after seeing Dudman, she
mused, walking from the window, pulling a shawl around her shoulders, standing by the
bed. She gazed at the pale features; the teeth biting the lips; the staring eyes; the thin
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fingers clutching at the blankets. She pulled out the chamber pot from under the bed and
urinated. The chamber pot sounded a tune. The air whiffed of urine. Susie sniffed. Polly
pushed the chamber pot back under the bed, climbed into the bed besid e Susie, and pulled
up the sheet and blankets to her chin. The bed was cold. Her feet searched for a place of
warmth. Touched Susies feet, slightly warm. Better. Rubbed her feet against Susies.
Your feet are cold, Susie moaned, and its taken me quarter of an hour to get this warm;
now youre here; God its cold, now; Ill have to get all warm again. She searched out Pollys
body with her thin fingers; clutched her waist.
If Id got you earlier, Id have bloodied your skinny nose, and pulled your hair out, Polly
said, feeling Susies fingers clutch at her and pull her closer against the cold.
You smacked my face, Susie moaned, pulling Polly closer, smelling the mixture of body
odour and soap, the feel of cotton and body.
Id have murdered you earlier when Dudman told me what you said, Polly said, sensing
Susie close, her thin fingers searching out her body.
Didnt mean to, Susie whispered, I wasnt thinking what I was saying; I was frightened
of being thrown out, and where I would go i n the dark of London, as I dont know anyone,
and he seemed to know, Polly, he seemed to, and when I was told to tell the truth, I thought
of my dad
Polly put a hand over Susies mouth. Hush. Youve told me. I know what hes like.
Susie nodded her head. She sniffed. Smelt Pollys hand; sensed the fingers against her lips.
She wanted to hold Polly; wanted to have her close to her.
She pushed Pollys hand away from her mouth. I thought he was going to tell Lady Elmore
or his Lordship, and that theyd be angry with me, and then youd be out in the street and
me, too, Polly, me, too, Susie said anxiously, in case Polly should kick her out of bed onto
the wooden floor.
Polly sighed. Felt Susies hands holding on for dear life onto her nightgown. Don t ever tell
Dudman about me again, do you hear? Polly said in a harsh whispered voice. I dont care
what he threatens you with, because next time Ill beat you black and blue, and probably
strangle you, you skinny mare, Polly added. She felt Susies lips kiss her cheek. Sensed the
fingers holding her nightgown tighter. Ill forget about it this time, but remember what I
said.
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Susie nodded; smiled weakly. Youre going to miss Master George tonight, Susie
whispered.
Polly nodded and sighed. Thought about Georges empty bed; thought about him and her
the last time together; thought about the lovemaking, the breathing, the warmth, and the
glow of it all.
Whats it like? Susie whispered.
Whats what like?
What you do in bed with Master George?
Polly sighed. Scratched her behind. Better than lying here with you, Polly said.
What do you do? Susie enquired, feeling Pollys hand on her hip.
Youll find out one day, if youre lucky. Polly closed her eyes; thought about George out in
France with his regiment and the deaths daily in the war.
Danny the footman told me some things, but they were dirty things and made me blush
and he kept on about what people did and I didnt like it and he said what men did to
women and Susie stopped. Polly was crying. She thought she was at least. It sounded like
her crying. Whats up Polly?
Polly had suddenly become overwhelmed with feelings, thoughts, and images of George and
memories flooding her mind and Susie going on about things. The silly mare. She couldnt
help the tears now; couldnt hold back; sensed Susies hand and her words meaning well,
felt Susies kisses and caresses, wished they were Georges; wished he was there with her;
wished he was making love to her as they did last time; wanted him to hold and enter her.
She sniffed; sighed. Wiped her eyes on her nightgown. Her eyes felt full; her throat choked
up. She sensed Susie hugged her tight; sensed the kisses; wished it was George; wished it
was he; wished it was he, wished it was, but knew it wasnt he who kissed and hugged her
now, but it was comforting, it was all there was now, nothing more, nothing less, and
somewhere far off, a church bell rang, and echoed across the night sky of London, and into
the cold attic where they lay huddled against the cold, and buried beneath the blankets like
two moles beneath ground, warm and close.