FAMILY MINISTRY MODELS: WHICH IS THE MOST EFFECTIVE?

____________________

A Paper

Presented to

Dr. Randy J. Stinson

The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

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In Partial Fulfillment

of the Requirements for 35040B

____________________

by

Luke Skeen

621 Royer Ct. Louisville, KY 40206

July 15, 2011

On my honor, I have neither given nor taken improper assistance in completing this assignment.

FAMILY MINISTRY MODELS: WHICH IS THE MOST EFFECTIVE?

Introduction

Are churches helping empower parents to disciple their children? Are current models

of youth group, middle school ministry, and children’s ministry being effective in raising mature

followers of Christ? Why are so many teenagers leaving the church after high school? These and

other questions are significant issues addressed by those involved in the family ministry

movement. Family ministry is the terminology used by those who are involved in the reformation

of ministry involving children and parents. One of those reformers, Timothy Paul Jones, defines

family ministry as, “The process of intentionally and persistently realigning a congregation’s

proclamation and practices so that parents are acknowledged, trained, and held accountable as

the person primarily responsible for the discipleship of their children.”1 This movement arose

from discontentment with the effectiveness of current family ministry models and is trying to

return to the biblical roots of parents taking the primary role in raising their children to be mature

followers of Christ.

This paper seeks to define and evaluate three models of family ministry: The family-

integrated model, the family-based model, and the family-equipping model. Other ideas

addressed in this paper include strengths and weaknesses of each model, how each model fixes

shortcomings of current ministry models, ways each model helps parents reclaim the primary

role as spiritual leaders in the home, and how these models can be implemented within local

churches today.

1Timothy Paul Jones. Family Ministry Field Guide (Indianapolis, IN: Wesleyan Publishing, 2011), 33.

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Three Family Ministry Models

Family-Integrated Model

Of all the models of family ministry, the family-integrated model is the most

simplistic and countercultural. Three distinctives set apart the family-integrated model: No age

segregated ministry, evangelism and discipleship in and through the home, and a commitment to

biblical leadership.2 When attending a worship service at a family-integrated church, “There is

no age-segregated Sunday school, youth group, or children’s ministry.”3 This frees up more time

to develop meaningful multi-generational relationships and promote maturity through enabling

teens to learn from and spend time around mature adults. Proponents of this model also believe

the lack of age segregated ministries in local churches pushes the responsibility of discipleship to

the home instead of the “paid professionals.”4

The strengths of the family-integrated model are its simplicity, maximization of

intergenerational interactions, and focus on training parents and fathers. The lack of segregated

ministries frees up church staff, the budget, volunteers, and weeknights. The simplicity of

schedule allows families to spend more time together, teaching and training their children.

Weakness of the family-integrated model include the challenge of ministering to non-

traditional family units (singles, widows, single-parent homes), the possibility of alienating

public school families, and the challenge for traditional churches to make the drastic transition to

become a fully integrated church. Overall, the family-integrated model is one that includes

enormous strengths and glaring weaknesses.

2Paul Renfro, “Family-Integrated Ministry,” in Perspectives on Family Ministry (Nashville,TN: B&H Publishing, 2009), 62-66.

3Ibid., 62.

4 Ibid., 75.

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Family-Based Model

In many ways, the family-based model is the opposite of the family-integrated model.

Structurally it does not remove the programmatic aspects of family ministry (Sunday school,

youth group, and children’s ministry), but seeks to “intentionally include intergenerational and

family-focused events in each ministry.”5 Mark Devries writes, “…family-based youth ministry

is not about what the programming looks like. It’s about what you use the programming for. We

try to point as much of our programming as possible in the direction of giving kids and adults

excuses to interacts together.”6 This model does not view age-segregated ministries as the

problem, but capitalizes on opportunities to train parents and involve them in these ministries.

Family-based ministry leaders also question the validity of statistics such as, “between 70 and 80

percent of Christian teens are leaving the church by their second year in college,”7 which are

often used to point to flaws in age-segregated ministries.

Strengths of this model include its evangelistic priority and its ability to minister to

non-traditional families. Brandon Shields writes, “Family-based churches are acutely aware of

the prevailing youth culture and of the breakdown of the nuclear family. Such churches see these

trends as strategic opportunities for pursuing the Great Commission in the context of age-

organized youth and children’s ministries.”8 They believe that the continuation of age-segregated

ministries allows for more opportunities to minister to non-traditional families.

5Brandon Shields, “Family-Based Ministry,” in Perspectives on Family Ministry (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009), 100.

6Mark DeVries. Family-Based Youth Ministry (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 2004), 179-80.

7Brandon Shields, “Family-Based Ministry,” in Perspectives on Family Ministry (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009), 102.

8Ibid., 116.

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The obvious weakness of this model is its minimalistic approach to training families

how to disciple their children. Paul Renfro writes, “What are needed are not merely events

putting parents and youth together but intentional training so fathers and mothers can build

discipleship into their children’s daily lives.”9 The family-based model continues age-segregated

ministry, but merely tacks on parental involvement.

Family-Equipping Model

The family-equipping model is often viewed as the middle ground between the family-

integrated model and the family-based model. Churches with this model retain “some age-

organized ministries but restructure the congregation to partner with parents at every level of

ministry so that parents are acknowledged, equipped, and held accountable for the discipleship of

their children.”10 Two main priorities of this model are to engage and equip “parents as their

children’s primary disciplers” and to partner with “parents to develop a definite plan for their

children’s Christian formation.”11 Churches with this model often develop rubrics detailing

desired spiritual outcomes for every age level in the church.

Strengths of this model are its unified vision and structure. Instead of viewing age-

segregated ministries or parents as the enemy, this structure seeks to “co-champion” both groups

around a common vision for the maturity of their children.12 The relationship between church and

home is seen as a dependent partnership with mutual benefits; neither one is able to fully fulfill

9Paul Renfro, “Response to Brandon Shields: Family-Based Ministry,” in Perspectives on Family Ministry (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009), 126.

10Jay Strother, “Family-Equipping Ministry,” in Perspectives on Family Ministry (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009), 144.

11Ibid., 145.

12Ibid., 144.

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the job of raising children to maturity in Christ. Their well-organized and well articulated

process of discipleship allows for clarity and unity in the roles of parenting and discipleship.13

Weaknesses of the family-equipping model include questions about the lack of a

missional mindset and how much time age-segregated ministries take up. In regards to missional

living, Brandon Shields writes, “Family-equipping ministers seem to assume that the primary

goal of youth ministry should be to equip families to disciple their own children – but that’s only

partly correct. Another goal of youth ministry should be to fulfill the mandate of Jesus to be sent

into the world as his witnesses.14 Overall, the family-equipping model provides a reasonable

balance involving the church and home and focuses primarily on developing a DNA where

parents are central in the discipleship of their children.

Ministry Model Applied to My Context

If I were to take a pastorate in a local church, I would seek to implement a family-

equipping model for four reasons: (1) It flows from the biblical conviction that parents are to be

the primary disciplers in the home (Deut. 6, Ps. 78, Eph 6:4). (2) It measures success by how

well all ministries of the church are able to train, resource, and encourage parents to be the

primary disciplers of their children. (3) It provides clear guidelines for Christian maturity and the

partnership between church and home. (4) It has the ability to include a variety of types of

parents and families (single-parent families, etc).

Most likely, the church I pastor will not have a family-equipping model of ministry set

up and running smoothly. Leading the church through transition from one family ministry model

to the family-equipping model will be one of my primary goals for the first ten years I am there.

13 Ibid., 175.

14 Brandon Shields, “Responses to Jay Strother,” in Perspectives on Family Ministry (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009), 177.

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Change must be implemented in a slow and deliberate manner. My church’s ten year plan will

center around four aspects: communication, planning, gradual implementation, and continual

evaluation.

Year one will center on communication. My job will be to communicate and

collaborate with church staff, elders, deacons, and other leaders with the desire to help them

understand what family-equipping ministry is, why it could be a good fit for our church, and

what it could look like to move the church in that direction. I want them to understand biblical,

historical, and statistical reasons why this would be a good model. Reading through Perspectives

on Family Ministry would be part of the communication process. Time would be spent

answering objections and questions. If unity is reached among staff, elders, and deacons, we

would move forward into a season of brainstorm and planning. The goal of this time would be

to come up with a ten year transition plan for our church. Below is a basic overview of the

proposed ten year plan:

Table 1 -- Ten Year Transition Plan

Year Goals Action Steps1 - Communicate passionately the what, why, and

how of family-equipping ministry to church staff and leaders. Address questions and concerns.

- Pray with staff and leaders that God would lead and guide communication and planning

- If unity is reached, come up with a plan to implement a family-equipping ministry model over the next 9-10 years.

- Read through Perspectives on Family Ministry with church leadership

- Take a 3 day weekend away with church leadership to plan for the next 9-10 years

- Pray weekly with staff and elders for wisdom and direction with regards to family ministry

2 - Communicate passionately the what, why, and how of family-equipping ministry to church congregation

- Help parents develop a biblical conviction to be the primary disciplers of their children.

- Resource, equip, and encourage parents to begin having family devotions two times a week

- Do a sermon series on Biblical parenting and the family-equipping model

- Have small groups do a 4 week bible study on parenting

- Invite parents to a seminar (offered 4 times that year) on how to begin doing family devotions.

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Table 1 – Continued. Ten Year Transition Plan

Yrs. Goals Action Steps3-4 - Introduce the 7 milestones to

Maturity plan, which clearly communicates the vision for partnering church and home.

- Begin implementing the family-equipping model among the children’s ministry

- Invite all parents to lunch after church one Sunday. Communicate the 7 milestones to Maturity and hand out curriculum to all parents

- Introduce 7 Milestone to Maturity curriculum into the children’s ministry. Train children’s ministry leaders and staff how to teach the curriculum and partner with parents.

- Plan, recruit, and implement parent seminars that coincide with milestones for parents who have children in children’s ministry.

5-7 - Continue to highlight the 7milestones to Maturity plan in the pulpit, small groups, and in one-to-one conversations

- Begin implementing the family-equipping model among the middle school ministry

- Develop a mentoring program where small group leaders and older couples in the church meet periodically with parents in their small group to equip, resource, and encourage parents to partner with the church with regards to the 7 milestones to Maturity

- Evaluate the effectiveness of the transition to the family-equipping model

- Introduce 7 Milestone to Maturity curriculum into the middle school ministry. Train middle school ministry leaders and staff how to teach the curriculum and partner with parents.

- Plan, recruit, and implement parent seminars that coincide with milestones for parents who have children in children’s and middle school ministry.

- Meet with all small group leaders in the church and encourage them to play an active role in shepherding parents

- Meet with church staff, leaders, and a small group of parents to evaluate the effectiveness of the transition to the family-equipping model

8-10 - Continue to highlight the 7 milestones to Maturity in the pulpit, small groups, and in one-to-one conversations

- Begin implementing the family-equipping model among the high-school ministry

- Introduce 7Milestone to Maturity curriculum into the high school ministry. Train high school ministry leaders and staff how to teach the curriculum and partner with parents

- Plan, recruit, and implement parent seminars that coincide with milestones for parents who have children of all ages.

The 7 Milestones to Maturity mentioned above come from the seven milestones listed

in Shift by Brian Haynes.15 These milestones provide specific benchmarks for parents as they

15Brian Haynes. Shift (Loveland, CO: Group Publishing, 2009), 137.

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disciple their children and also defines how church and home partner together to achieve these

benchmarks. Overall, my ten year plan of communication, planning, gradual implementation,

and continual evaluation would prove effective in transitioning my church to a family-equipping

model of ministry.

Answering Objections

After reading my proposal, one objection that may arise is, “What happens if the

church leadership does not agree or rally around your vision to transition to the family-equipping

model?” At the end of the day, a church is only as effective as its leadership. My hope is that

any church leadership would at least be open to considering change. I believe that taking one full

year to discuss the possibility of transition, answering questions and objections, praying together,

and reading books on family-equipping ministry would be effective in giving the leadership of

the church the information needed to understand the family-equipping model and grow a

conviction to see parents become the primary disciplers of their children. Steve Wright offers

some helpful thoughts to answer the objection, “If you start to encounter significant resistance

then you likely moved too quickly and need to go back to the beginning – praying, teaching, and

meeting with new people. If your key people are on board, they can help you continue the

transition.”16 However, if the church leadership does not reach unity in transitioning to this

model, I would accept this conclusion as part of the sovereignty of God (Pr. 19:21). I would then

continue to address the question together of how our church can train, resource, and encourage

parents to disciple their children. Max Dupree wisely said, “We cannot become what we need to

be by remaining what we are.”17

16Steve Wright. reThink (Wake Forest, NC: Inquest Publishing, 2008), 134.

17Steve Wright. reThink (Wake Forest, NC: Inquest Publishing, 2008), 109.

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Another objection to my plan could be, “Is ten years too long to transition into a

particular model of family ministry?” I will agree that ten years is a long time. However,

anything worth doing is worth doing right. Steve Wright reminds us of the importance of the

transition time by writing, “I can’t stress this enough. Anyone who makes sweeping changes

without laying groundwork is asking for trouble. I would encourage a year by year approach that

begins with your middle-schoolers and their parents. It is important to remember that when you

begin you should do it right and not get sloppy in your haste.” Thom Rainer also offers insight

into leading a church through change is his book Eating the Elephant. He “argues that the best

way to lead a church through change is the same way to eat an elephant: one bite at a time.

Tackling too much at one time leads only to frustration and defeat.”18 Ten years is a long time,

but my desire to pursue excellence and to not overwhelm the church leads me to believe that ten

years is not too long.

A possible third objection arises to whether or not the family-equipping model

empowers parents and children towards a missional lifestyle. Although missional living is not

explicitly stated in many family-equipping definitions, it is implied and encouraged in principle.

The principle of church and home partnering together to disciple children can include any area of

Christian growth, including evangelism. Some family equipping churches, such as Kingsland

Baptist Church, partner with parents in training children how to defend their faith.19

Conclusion

Family ministry is one of the most important battle grounds in our churches today.

Statistics and an honest look at many of our churches tell us that we are losing this battle and that

18Charles Lawless. Discipled Warriors: Growing Healthy Churches that are Equipped for Spiritual Warfare (Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Publications, 2002), 196.

19Brian Hayes. Shift (Loveland, CO: Group Publishing, 2009), 93.

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there is a need for reformation. Dr. Randy Stinson writes, “Today’s churches offer more youth

camps, conferences, Christian music, sophisticated technology, books, and trained leaders than

ever before. Yet for whatever reason, a significant number of children fail to make the transition

from youth ministry to mature, Christian adulthood.”20 Timothy Paul Jones writes, “The ministry

models that many ministers have studied in seminaries and inherited in local churches are

fundamentally flawed. As a result, well-intended ministers have attempted to pursue tasks in the

sole context of the church that God designed to occur first and foremost in another context. That

other context is the family.”21 Today, a reformation is needed in the body of Christ, turning

pastors, leaders, and parents back to the biblical and historical roots of discipleship primarily

taking place in the home.

The three models of family ministry presented in this paper offer possible solutions to

the reformation of family ministry. All models seek to answer questions such as: “How can

churches train, resource, and encourage parents to be the primary disciplers in the home? And,

“What ways can the church and home partner in raising mature followers of Christ?” At the end

of the day, the model you choose will not matter as much as your commitment to pursue the

biblical roots of discipleship in the home. However, I believe the family-equipping model to be

the most balanced and effective model for bringing about this change within a local church.

20Randy Stinson. “Forward” in Perspectives on Family Ministry (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009), 2.

21Timothy Paul Jones. Perspectives on Family Ministry (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009), 13-14.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Books

DeVries, Mark. Family-Based Youth Ministry, Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 2004.

Hayes, Brian. Shift. Loveland, CO: Group Publishing, 2009.

Jones, Timothy P. Family Ministry Field Guide: How Your Church can Equip Parents to Make Disciples. Indianopolis, IN: Wesleyan Publishing House, 2011.

Jones, Timothy Paul. Perspectives on Family Ministry. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009.

Lawless, Charles E. Discipled Warriors: Growing Healthy Church that are Equipped for Spriitual Warfare. Grand Rapids, MI: Kegel Publications, 2002.

Wright, Steve, Chris Graves. ApParent Privelege. Wake Forest: InQuest Publishing, 2010.

—. reThink. Wake Forest, NC: InQuest Publishing, 2008.

Articles

Renfro, Paul. "Family-Integrated Ministry.” In Perpsectives on Family Ministry, ed. Timothy P. Jones, 54-78. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009.

—. "Responses to Brandon Shields.” In Perpsectives on Family Ministry, ed. Timothy P. Jones, 79-84. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009.

—. "Responsse to Jay Strother.” In Perpsectives on Family Ministry, ed. Timothy P. Jones, 168-173. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009.

Shields, Brandon. "Family-Based Ministry." In Perpsectives on Family Ministry, ed. Timothy P. Jones, 98-120. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009.

Stinson, Randy. "Forward." In Perpsectives on Family Ministry, ed. Timothy P. Jones, 1-3. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009.

Strother, Jay. "Family-Equipping Ministry." In Perpsectives on Family Ministry, ed. Timothy P. Jones, 140-167. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing, 2009.