positionality paper draft_matt tong

8/19/2019 Positionality Paper Draft_Matt Tong

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/positionality-paper-draftmatt-tong 1/6

Matthew Tong

Positionality Paper Draft

Identity is a mischievous term. It can refer to the identity that others see me as, which is

brought about when I am presented in specific situations and contexts. On the other hand, there

is my own inner identity that is formed by my own mind, constructed by my own life events and

experiences. In many ways, these two sorts of identities can be merged together, as one will,

without a doubt, influence the other. Identities can be thrown onto me, they can be ones that I

make and wear, or they can be the ones that I have chosen to wear out of all the ones that have

been given to me. Out of those three, the two that are chosen by my own decision are the ones

that I would like to share, as I regard them as the identities that I hope to display and emit in my

life.

One of the first identities that I have been given is my ethnic background and culture.

Born into a Cantonese Chinese family on both my maternal and paternal sides, I naturally grew

up learning a developing the identity of being Chinese and holding to the values and traditions

that have been passed down to my parents through their own lineage. Still, I wear my ethnic

identity fairly casually; I do not flaunt that I am Chinese, nor do I truly spend much time

indulging and investigating in the culture. Nevertheless, it has come to be a part of who I am and

how I interact with others. My closest friends, for the most part, are similar in background to

me, as it is easy to bond over the similar upbringings and struggles that we experienced in our

families and cultures. With large extended on both of my parents’ sides, I also have many

international connections, which has been both a blessing and a curse. It allows for me to easily

ask or make contact with specific areas of the world, but it has also made it difficult to really

develop any close familial bonds with those outside my immediate family.



Matthew Tong

I am also an only child, which is an identity less readily visible to the outside world.

Whether or not my reserved personally is a result of this, I have grown up being very okay with

being solitary with my time. Spending time with others is never the default activity throughout

my day, and it is much easier for me to listen than it is to speak. Though these traits on their own

are not entirely bad, it is detrimental if I only develop these characteristics and not the ones on

the other end of the spectrum. To be an educator, there will be moments where the knowledge of

listening and solitary reflection is valuable, but there will be just as many moments where it is

essential to be well-versed at creating relationships and understanding how to establish human

connections.

Another identity that has been given to me without much of my own say is my sex and

gender. Some may disagree with me and claim that gender is something that a person grows

into, but I firmly hold the belief that people are provided with gender at birth, and how that

person chooses to respond to that gender role is his or her choice.

For both my familial background and gender identity, stereotype exist and can easily

become harmful in my own development of positionality. I have been fortunate enough to not be

the victim of any serious stereotypical assaults, but even just going to a public school system has

exposed me to struggles and questions about how I should be treating these identities that are

not, per se, ones that I chose for myself. It has not been particularly difficult for me to break my

own stereotypes, and I often find that I am comfortable doing the things that others will not tend

towards. I have found that this is quite an essential trait to have in teaching, as there are so many

situations where it is vital to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and create an



Matthew Tong

environment that can cater to the students’ learning. The difficulty for me has never been to

leave the comfort zone, but to know what exactly to do after leaving that zone.

There are plenty of other identities that I have taken on that were not given directly to me,

but of all of them, the most important is my identity as a Christian. The entirety of my value

system and all the choices I develop are a result of my faith and that truths that it holds to. My

end goal of even pursuing music and education is to be able to reach others in that field about the

good news that is offered in the Bible and to hopefully shed some light of the important things

that are to be considered during this lifetime.

My identity as a musician could be said to have been thrown at me from birth, as I know

my mother already had plans to provide me with piano lessons, but I did not truly embrace the

musician role until my high school years. This was definitely an identity that the majority of my

peers labeled me as, and no one was surprised at all when I made the switch from the sciences

into the music field during the middle of my college career.

Up until that switch in college, however, my development as a musician has primarily

been in performing music. As a child, I was trained to practice well and to perform well, but

never received much chance to learn how to teach well. My experience as both a pianist and a

cellist has provided me with a glimpse at two different worlds of music, and these two realms

have definitely shaped my perspective and identity as a musician. As a pianist, I learned about

musical theory and the foundations of harmony. As a cellist, I explored my first large ensemble

and discovered a love for chamber music that spilled right back into my piano playing.

Interestingly enough, Pellegrino (2006) found that “although preservice band teachers and those

students with classroom teaching experience had a more realistic view of the teaching profession,



Matthew Tong

string players were identified as having a particularly strong professional performer identity

rather than either a musician or music educator identity.” I have definitely felt that same

experience and tendency to lean toward the profession performer identity, and it was not until I

looked more into education that I began to see the necessity and benefits of nurturing an identity

as an educator.

I began my venture into education during my third year as an undergraduate, and it

opened up an entirely new view on what music is and what it can be, and I found an interest in

developing myself in my ability to teach and share what I have learned in my musical

experiences. However, teaching is not something that comes entirely naturally to me; even

pursuing education is a step out of my comfort zone. I do hope to continue working to establish

my role as a teacher, and I aim to continue learning from each moment and person I encounter.

Because I grew up in an incredibly privileged and sheltered environment, it is easy for me

to forget about the variety of backgrounds that exist for other students and colleagues. At the

same time, it is never helpful to simply make assumptions about a student based purely on the

words provided by forms and paperwork. As an educator, I want to be constantly building a

relationship with each of the students I encounter, and through that relationship, figure out the

best form of assisting that student in learning and harnessing the class material. Each student has

his or her own personal story, and it is up to the educator to become familiar enough with that

story to instantly react to a scenario. This role is already a challenge with one student, but an

educator will need to work with groups of students at once, and when all things are considered,

the task of a teacher is an amazingly high calling.



Matthew Tong

The development of my positionality is not one that is soon to end, and as I grow to live

through more experiences, I will learn more of myself, of others, and of how I hope to present

myself as a teacher to the public eye. As Pellegrino (2006) discovered, “identity can be defined

as fluid, dynamic, evolving, situated, layered, and constructed individually, socially, and

culturally. However, using theoretical frameworks and/or methodologies that capture preservice

and in-service music teachers’ identities as snapshots frozen in time while attempting to

represent the changing nature of identities is problematic.” There is never going to be that exact

snapshot moment that will define my identity, but it is definitely important to be taking those

snapshots throughout life in order that I may learn and grow from each of them.



Matthew Tong

Sources

Pellegrino, K. (2009). Connections Between Performer and Teacher Identities in MusicTeachers: Setting an Agenda for Research. Journal of Music Teacher Education, 19(1), 39-55.

positionality paper draft_matt tong

Documents