power,agilty and wicked enviroments
TRANSCRIPT
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Power,agility and wicked environments
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Who am I
Caoilte Dunne
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Who Am IRaised by a strong woman who taught me respect for women.
Married a strong woman who teaches me humility all the time.
I believe that men and women are equally capable.
I believe that women live in a society that is sexist.
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4 years ago ….
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It did not go well ...Poor post-project reviews
Both included very strong negative sentiments from women in my team.
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Unfortunately This was part of a pattern
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I was effective…
Passionate Opinionated Strong Willed
Was I effective..?
Bruised EgosConflictStress
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Rightly I was moved sideways
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Luckily , this time ,I took notice …
and became interested in power equalization in teams
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Setting some expectations
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Drill down even further : power in teams
Jack Alex Bob
Mary Sue Robin
Courtney
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Power In teams during meetings
Jack
AlexBob
Mary Sue Robin
Courtney
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Which ideas are implemented, which are discarded and which are never suggested...
That’s where power in teams comes into play.
For in meetings ...
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What will I be covering
1. Teams2. Power3. Wicked Environments4. Pre- meeting5. In the meeting6. How to nudge your team
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1. Teams
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What is a team?
GOAL
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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What makes a great team
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Psychological Safety
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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Anya puts out a Challenge to groups status quoXander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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Not BulliedXander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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Not Laughed atXander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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Not ostracizedXander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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Never made to feel like shitXander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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OK - you can talk with safety What else
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Ensure Everyone has their say
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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Not just the assertive
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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Everyone !
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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Power
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How people who wield power see themselves:
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How other people see them:
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First let’s look at Hard Power
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What’s it sourceRather dispiritingly - it’s your job title.
Hard power is given to you from the norms of authority in your culture and your position in your organization
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Hard power - types
Legitimate Power - being a bossReward Power - promise of / giving of something niceCoercive power - promise of / giving of something bad
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Soft power
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What’s it sourceIts intrinsicWhat you knowWho you knowHow people view you
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Soft power - types
Informational Power -Knowing context Expert Power - Applying theory and practiceReferent power - Being liked/Respected
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So who loses out?
Everyone involved
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Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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The team is
● Less Physiologically safe
● Less likely to get everybody's point of view
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
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The way to avoid this is
Is not to focus on the act of being powerful
But to focus on empoweringyourself and your team.
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Empowering - Your style
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Empowering - Choice
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Wicked Environments
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It seems nice
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Until ...
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Different learning
Flips the lever a lot
Has learnt not to
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The wrong lesson
Ends up having heart disease
End ups dying of starvation
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You are in a Wicked environment
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Your Wicked Environment
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This has happened
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This has happened
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This has happened
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This has happened
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Not everybody is effected the same way
Think of it as a slope
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DominancePassive
BehaviourBehaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
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DominancePassive
BehaviourBehaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
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PassivePolitical Maneuvering
Making decisions outside of meetings
indirect expression of hostility (I.e passive aggression)
Triangulation (uniting in dislike )
Silence over conflict
DominanceNot listening
Speaking at length
Emotional radiation
Interrupting
Condescending
Overrides conflict
Ridicules other points of view
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Some people don’t notice the slope
Some people are not affected by the slope
Some people do and some people areHowever
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You have a bias to passive behaviour or dominant behaviour
We all have
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Dominance
PassiveBehaviour
Behaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
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Expert Power was/is my drug of choice.
I had no idea.
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I thought it was a good thing...
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But the effect remained the same:
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Dominance
PassiveBehaviour
Behaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
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AwarenessChange has occurred when one becomes aware
From Awareness comes deliberate action for behavioural change
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DominancePassive
BehaviourBehaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
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DominancePassive
BehaviourBehaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
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DominancePassive
BehaviourBehaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
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Quick recap
Both women and men are given poor lessons about powerUsing power works against
Physiological safetyEveryone having their say
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So what can we do
Let’s have some focus
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Before the meeting
During the meeting
We are going to cover
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It about choiceYour style
Your Choice
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You will notice they are not suddenStructure
and
Intent.
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You know best
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Before any meeting
You have space and time.
This is the long game
All the time
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Build rapportBe interested in other people
Listen to your team
Take the time to understand
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Master your self talkMake sure you value your own opinion
Brave is overcoming fear not its absence.
Fake it till you make it
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Culture of ideasSuspended Judgement
Valuing Diversity
From P.C to respect
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Agree how your team make decisionsWho makes decisions
Majority (50% , 75%)
Silence is not consent
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Group NormsExternalise Values/Mindset
Highlight power equalization
Practical Concerns
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Before the meeting
You have a focus
You have a place
You have a time
All the time
Known meeting
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Facilitate the meeting (before)Ensure agenda is sent ahead of time
Structure the meeting
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Work with people before handFor the less outspokenensure they know why they are invited
For alphas let themselves expel energy now as opposed to in the meeting
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Check your imposter syndrome
Compare yourself fairly
You deserve the role you have
You deserve self respect
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Do what you need to be confidentPower poses before meetings
Meditation /Mindfulness
Visualize
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Know your goal going in
You're there for a reason
Determine how much guff you can put up with
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Write what you want to say beforehandGive yourself space
Give yourself time
Give yourself permission
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In a Meeting
All the time
Known meeting
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In a Meeting - Not giving away your power
How to ensure you are active - participating in the meeting.
The team needs your point of view
All the time
Known meeting
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Facilitate your meetings (during)
Ensure structure
Echo , Paraphrase
Bring in the reluctant voices
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A ‘Round’ before discussion
Go a-round the table
Everybody states their initial position
No interruptions
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Agree when someone says your point before youAmplification
Make yourself part of the conversation
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Get your position out early
People who talk early have more influence
Before the alpha takes control
Before the alphas make it about them
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Don’t “Vague” it up
Be aware of qualifying language
‘Sorry’ , ‘Perhaps’ , ‘just a thought’
Don’t swamp your awesome point with weakness
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Before you commit to a task ensure it is your roleThe ‘administrative’ stereotype exists
The ‘Mom’ stereotype exists
Suggest task rotation
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Not letting your power be taken
When someone wants their way at the expense of the group.
When someone makes you not matter
All the time
Known meeting
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Treat new ideas as experiments
Awesome for limiting expert power
Very effective because it focuses on impact
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Have more than one option
Get away from rail roading
Other options come from somewhere
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Nominate someone as devil's advocatepermission is given to be critical.
Dissenting point of view becomes required.
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Include when challenged
Ask for solutions from the challenger
“What should we do differently”
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Lift up other women
Sometimes you need that support.
So give it.
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Practice your script
When you are interrupted
When you are dismissed
When someone takes your idea
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Know your limits
When you are objectified
When you are passed over
When you bullied
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So lots there !
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Before any meeting
● Build rapport● Master your self talk● Culture of ideas● Agree how your team make
decisions● Group Norms
All the time
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Before any meeting
● Facilitate the meeting (before)● Work with people before hand● Check your imposter syndrome ● Do what you need to be
confident● Know your goal going in● Write what you want to say
beforehand
All the time
All the time
Known meeting
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In a Meeting - Not giving away your power
All the time
Known meeting
● Facilitate your meetings (during)
● A ‘Round’ before discussion ● Agree when someone says
your point before you● Get your position out early● Don’t “Vague” it up● Before you commit to a
task ensure it is your role
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In a Meeting - Not letting your power be taken
All the time
Known meeting
● Treat new ideas as experiments
● Have more than one option● Nominate someone as
devil's advocate● Include when challenged● Lift up other women● Practice your script● Know your limits
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How to nudge your team
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Some ideas you might have heard recently… Build rapport
Treat all new ideas as experiments
Facilitate your meetings
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Start with the whyPhysiological Safety
Everyone giving their view
Increased quality of ideas
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Create a commonality of interestAgree (with what you can)
Build ( On what's shared)
Compare (the differences)
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Gauge the AwarenessHow self aware is your team's alpha ?
How self aware are you ?
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Don’t let someone else be the enabler of your value
You get what you tolerate
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So lots to do ....
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How to nudge yourself
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You're always fighting the wicked environment
But eventually it will come down to you embracing change
Your mindset , Your behaviours , your self talk.
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I know this because I have been attempting to change for a while
To be an asset rather than a liability to my team
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I have discovered change is hard.
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But not Impossible !
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The slope can helpWoman leaders on average
are “more likely to be democratic, collaborative, and participative”
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Which leads to ….Psychological Safety
Everyone having their say
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I.e Great teamsWhich means you get to be the great leaders of the 21 century.
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In summary:
● Treat meeting with respect ● If you talk too much - talk less, talk last.● If you never speak, the team needs you
to speak up.
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It's in your hands
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No really
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Change is hard - not impossible
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ReferencesFacilitator’s guide to participatory decision-making - Sam KanerTeamwork is an Individual skill - Christopher M AveryGroup Dynamics for Teams - Daniel LeviCrucial Conversations - Patterson , Grenny , McMillan ,Switzler
Thanks to Kirsty , Sol , Dom ,Erin ,Nuz and Paula Felicity , Iseult , Helen and TanyaAnd as always My Girl
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ReferencesVarious resources about gender and meetinghttp://time.com/money/4450406/men-interrupt-talk-more/http://time.com/4206660/hillary-clinton-sexism-shrill-yelling/https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2016/09/13/white-house-women-are-now-in-the-room-where-it-happens/https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=enhttp://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Politics/2016/1008/How-women-lead-differentlypsychological safety and googlehttp://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/28/magazine/what-google-learned-from-its-quest-to-build-the-perfect-team.htmPowerhttps://hbr.org/2016/10/dont-let-power-corrupt-youSelf Talkhttps://melissaambrosini.com/wealth/7-things-you-must-stop-letting-your-mean-girl-tell-you/Imposter syndromehttp://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2014/04/03/impostor-syndrome
Twitter : @CaoilteDunneLinkedIn : CaoilteDunneSlideshare : http://www.slideshare.net/caoiltedunne/poweragilty-and-wicked-enviroments
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Powerful - Inspirational
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Powerful - Hierarchical
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Powerful - Influence