preparing students for college: social life
DESCRIPTION
"The College Lady" Wendie Lubic gives a talk about how to prepare soon-to-be college students for social life...everything from alcohol, drugs, sex and money.TRANSCRIPT
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Preparing Students for College: Social Life
July 10, 2013
Cyndy McDonald, President MyCCA.net Wendie Lubic, The College Lady
Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll and More!
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Wend ie Lub ic , The Co l lege Lady Wash ing ton , DC
I n t e r v i e w w i t h C h a n n e l 9 :
A r t i c l e i n W a s h i n g t o n
P a r e n t
Guest Presenter
Wendie is an IEC practicing in the Washington DC area with more than 17 years of experience teaching at the Parent Encouragement Program in Maryland.
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It’s Tough Parenting a Teen …
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Adolescents are go ing through two th ings:
1. Separation
2. Individuation
The bottom l ine: Don’ t take anyth ing personal ly, and even i f they ro l l
the i r eyes, they are l is ten ing.
Parents Need to Know…
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• Adolescent bra in is “under const ruc t ion”
• Bra in deve lopment is not complete unt i l age 25
• Bra in c i rcu i ts must be used in order to deve lop
• Exper ience p lays a major ro le in the bra in wi r ing
• Addic t ion can be “hardwi red”
The Teen Brain
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• Educate parents on bra in deve lopment • Encourage parents – use log ic & l imi ts • Prepare parents for change • Help teen exerc ise “dec is ion-making”muscles • Don’t of fer unsol ic i ted adv ice • Approach teen as emerg ing adu l t , not as a ch i ld
How Can IEC’s Help?
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The Art of Closed Questioning
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• Open vs . C losed Ques t ions
• Avo id why ques t ions
• Ask one ques t ion a t a t ime
• Pause & re f lec t a f te r answers
• L i s ten at least tw ice as much as you ta lk
• Be c lear & d i rec t
• Use the “ask , don ’ t te l l”method
• Ask permiss ion be fo re g iv ing adv ice .
Ways to Improve Communication
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• New chal lenges
• New f reedoms
• Sel f - regu la t ion is essent ia l
to success
Adjusting to New Freedoms
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• Coach parents to : • Get the facts about drugs/alcohol • Understand the consequences in
underage indulgence • Make s tudents aware o f l imi ts
& consequences • Parents must be the best
source o f in format ion • Set up fa l lback p lans • Don’ t re ly on the ce l l -phone
umbi l ica l cord • Model hea l thy behav ior
Drugs & Alcohol
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What students need from Parents/Adults: • Aff i rmat ion • In format ion • Clar i ty about va lues • Limi t set t ing & so l id boundar ies • Ant ic ipatory gu idance
Teen Sexuality The topic that scares parents the most!
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Senior year and the summer before co l lege begins is a great oppor tun i ty for parents to ta lk about expecta t ions and consequences o f behav ior.
Emphas ize that the s tudent w i l l make the i r own dec is ions once school beg ins.
Values & Expectat ions: • Fami ly • Personal • Socie ta l • Rel ig ious
Making Good Choices
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• Don’ t room wi th h igh school f r iends
• Don’ t pre- judge the roommate based on the i r Facebook page
• Set ground ru les and agreements ear ly, don ’ t wa i t unt i l there is a prob lem
• Give your roommate the benef i t o f the doubt when a prob lem occurs
Getting Along with Roommates
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• Don’ t be a f ra id to ta lk to the RA i f you have an issue
• Speak out i f someth ing bothers you • Make sure to d iscuss sens i t ive sub jects :
• Overnight guests • Sexiling • Cleanliness • Shared food/items • Times for lights on/off
• Be aware that th ings may change dur ing the course o f the year.
Roommates…continued
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• Get o ff o f the computer & get out
• Door open s t ra tegy • Don’ t be a f ra id to go up
to a tab le o f people you don’ t know dur ing meals
• Exper iment wi th new groups and act iv i t ies
• Avoid exc lus ive ly hanging out w i th h igh school f r iends
• Reach out to o thers who may be s t rugg l ing as wel l
Making Friends
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Students who know how to do the fo l lowing th ings are more conf ident and less l ike to embarrass themselves
wi th peers , s ta f f , p ro fessors
• Laundry • Personal f inance • Budget ing • Personal hyg iene • In teract ing respect fu l ly w i th un ivers i ty s ta ff • Keeping proper ty safe • Emai l & in ternet e t iquet te
Training Opportunities
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When us ing these t ips , r emember : • t h i s i s n o t a p e r m i s s i o n s l i p • a c k n o w l e d g e t e e n h a s c o n t r o l
Parent Tip Sheets
Wendie’s Talking Points for: • Drinking • Relationships, Sex & Intimacy
Find tips on MyCCA website – available ONLY the next 30 days:
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-Per fec t use o f shared documents- to post Ta lk ing po in ts to s tudents /parents
-use broadcast email funct ion to announce workshops, meet ings, for graduat ing sen iors -
Open the Conversation Online
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