presentation slide text can make you look stupid
DESCRIPTION
From meaningless figures to text that is exactly what you’re speaking anyway, slide presentations are a great way to show others that you have no idea what you’re talking about. Learn how you too can look great, sound great, and say nothing!TRANSCRIPT
@CiaoEnrico
Slide presentations are important for sharing ideas and information.
Slide presentations are important for sharing ideas and information.
@CiaoEnrico
Slide presentations keep people from realizing you don’t know what you’re
talking about
Slide presentations keep people from realizing you don’t know what you’re
talking about
@CiaoEnrico
Don’t SpillcheckDon’t Spillcheck
A real man spells words how he wants to!
A real man spells words how he wants to!
@CiaoEnrico
Use phrases you’ll need to apologize for
later
Use phrases you’ll need to apologize for
later
“A real man spells words how he wants to!”
“A real man spells words how he wants to!”
@CiaoEnrico
GraphsGraphs
@CiaoEnrico
GraphsGraphs
@CiaoEnrico
Ask if there are questiosns
Ask if there are questiosns
But don’t answer any!
But don’t answer any!
@CiaoEnrico
You can never use too much clip art
You can never use too much clip art
@CiaoEnrico
@CiaoEnrico
Faulty premisesFaulty premises
“Steve Ballmer is completely sane.”“Steve Ballmer is completely sane.”
@CiaoEnrico
TransitionsTransitions
God’s way of letting people know they aren’t looking at the same
slide anymore.
God’s way of letting people know they aren’t looking at the same
slide anymore.
@CiaoEnrico
Make out-of-date Make out-of-date ReferencesReferences
@CiaoEnrico
Bullet Points are your Frends!
Bullet Points are your Frends!
•Remind you what you wanted to say
•Prove you did at least a little research
•Especially if you don’t know what you’re talking about
•Don’t necessarily need to have any substance
•Steve Ballmer is a tool.
•Remind you what you wanted to say
•Prove you did at least a little research
•Especially if you don’t know what you’re talking about
•Don’t necessarily need to have any substance
•Steve Ballmer is a tool.
@CiaoEnrico
Use text that’s exactly what you’re saying
anyway
Use text that’s exactly what you’re saying
anywayUse a lot of text in your slides, and never deviate from what they say. Oh… and don’t be shy about reading everything you’re saying directly off the screen. Where was I? Oh yeah - if you try to say something on your own, you might show you don’t know what you’re talking about. But if it’s in print on the screen, then you can feel like you’re backed up by… you know. Facts.
Use a lot of text in your slides, and never deviate from what they say. Oh… and don’t be shy about reading everything you’re saying directly off the screen. Where was I? Oh yeah - if you try to say something on your own, you might show you don’t know what you’re talking about. But if it’s in print on the screen, then you can feel like you’re backed up by… you know. Facts.
@CiaoEnrico
Avoid Avoid being being
authentic authentic at all costsat all costs
@CiaoEnrico
@CiaoEnrico
Include Personal Information Include Personal Information no one could possibly care no one could possibly care
aboutabout
@CiaoEnrico
Mix Bad Colors
34% of people who
view this slide will be driven to kill
@CiaoEnrico
Freakishly Moronic Business Terms
Freakishly Moronic Business Terms
• “Impactful”
• “Outside the Box”
• “[term] on STEROIDS!”
• “Hard Stop”
• “Give 110%”
• “Paradigm Shift”
• “Win-Win Situation”
• “The 80%-20% rule”
• “At the end of the day…”
• “2.0”
• “Impactful”
• “Outside the Box”
• “[term] on STEROIDS!”
• “Hard Stop”
• “Give 110%”
• “Paradigm Shift”
• “Win-Win Situation”
• “The 80%-20% rule”
• “At the end of the day…”
• “2.0”
• “Sustainability”
• “Drop the Ball”
• “Herding cats”
• “Take a deeper dive”
• “Move up the value chain”
• “Thought Leader”
• “Rightsizing”
• “Scalability”
• “Best of Breed”
• “Viral”
• “Sustainability”
• “Drop the Ball”
• “Herding cats”
• “Take a deeper dive”
• “Move up the value chain”
• “Thought Leader”
• “Rightsizing”
• “Scalability”
• “Best of Breed”
• “Viral”
• “Low-hanging fruit”
• “Best Practices”
• “Seamless Integration”
• “It is what it is”
• “Bring value to the table”
• “Drink the Kool-Aid”
• “Core Competencies”
• “Proactive”
• “Raise the Bar”
• “Doesn’t take a Rocket Surgeon”
• “Low-hanging fruit”
• “Best Practices”
• “Seamless Integration”
• “It is what it is”
• “Bring value to the table”
• “Drink the Kool-Aid”
• “Core Competencies”
• “Proactive”
• “Raise the Bar”
• “Doesn’t take a Rocket Surgeon”
@CiaoEnrico
Freakishly Moronic Business Terms
Freakishly Moronic Business Terms
• “Impactful”
• “Outside the Box”
• “[term] on STEROIDS!”
• “Hard Stop”
• “Give 110%”
• “Paradigm Shift”
• “Win-Win Situation”
• “The 80%-20% rule”
• “At the end of the day…”
• “2.0”
• “Impactful”
• “Outside the Box”
• “[term] on STEROIDS!”
• “Hard Stop”
• “Give 110%”
• “Paradigm Shift”
• “Win-Win Situation”
• “The 80%-20% rule”
• “At the end of the day…”
• “2.0”
• “Sustainability”
• “Drop the Ball”
• “Herding cats”
• “Take a deeper dive”
• “Move up the value chain”
• “Thought Leader”
• “Rightsizing”
• “Scalability”
• “Best of Breed”
• “Viral”
• “Sustainability”
• “Drop the Ball”
• “Herding cats”
• “Take a deeper dive”
• “Move up the value chain”
• “Thought Leader”
• “Rightsizing”
• “Scalability”
• “Best of Breed”
• “Viral”
• “Low-hanging fruit”
• “Best Practices”
• “Seamless Integration”
• “It is what it is”
• “Bring value to the table”
• “Drink the Kool-Aid”
• “Core Competencies”
• “Proactive”
• “Raise the Bar”
• “Doesn’t take a Rocket Surgeon”
• “Low-hanging fruit”
• “Best Practices”
• “Seamless Integration”
• “It is what it is”
• “Bring value to the table”
• “Drink the Kool-Aid”
• “Core Competencies”
• “Proactive”
• “Raise the Bar”
• “Doesn’t take a Rocket Surgeon”
@CiaoEnrico
Questions?Questions?