Press Release

Common Prayersby Harvey Cox

• Introduction• About the Author• Praise for Harvey Cox and Common Prayers• A Conversation with Harvey Cox

Introduction

What is the meaning of the smashed glass during a Jewish wedding ceremony?

Why is the Jewish year structured the way it is? Why does the "beginning" (Rosh ha-Shanah) fall in September?

Why do Jews pray in Hebrew, even when transliterations are often supplied or English translations follow?

What is the spiritual meaning of exile? Or Galut?

These are just a few of the questions Harvey Cox has asked himself throughout the years. As one of the world's most eminent Christian theologians (currently the Thomas Professor of Divinity at Harvard) and a Christian married to a Jewish woman (with whom he is raising a Jewish son), questions like these have come up often.

In Common Prayers (Houghton Mifflin Company; publication date: September 20, 2001), Cox draws from his personal experience to illuminate the Jewish holidays and relate what he has learned (and is still learning) about Judaism and its relation to his own faith. Never before has there been a book that

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probes Jewish spirituality from an experiential Christian perspective. Readers of Harvey Cox's Common Prayers will also have the unique opportunity to learn about Judaism from not only a world-renowned theologian, but a warm, down-to-earth, and endlessly curious teacher.

In each chapter of Common Prayers, Cox very clearly and considerately gives an explanation of the different Jewish holidays. He illuminates the meaning of Rosh ha-Shanah ("the Head of the Year"), Yom Kippur ("the Closing of the Big Book"), and Chanukah (which, along with Christmas, forms what Cox calls "December Madness"). He also addresses customs in Judaism such as the seven-day mourning period after the death of a loved one ("sitting shiva"), a Jewish wedding ceremony, and a bar or bat mitzvah.

His curiosity and interest in beliefs and traditions other than his own come through in every chapter. "What's this? The rabbi is wearing a cowboy hat, bandanna, and chaps, and he is packing an ugly six-shooter in his leather holster. . ." is how Cox begins the chapter on Purim (a holiday during which Jews dress up in costume, much like we do during Halloween). When discussing a trip he took with his wife, Nina, and their son, Nicholas, he says of their visit to the Wailing Wall, "I was acutely aware that as a Gentile-Christian father I was permitted to escort my Jewish son to this holiest place in his faith but that his Jewish mother would have to pray on the other side of the barrier. An enormous sense of responsibility and a strange joy came over me."

Cox begins conversations about some of the more daunting issues. He discusses whether or not there is a proper Christian response to the Holocaust, investigates the more violent passages in the Bible, talks about the growing presence of Christian fundamentalists in Jerusalem, and about the challenges one faces in an interfaith marriage.

As a member of an interfaith marriage, Cox has been confronted with some interesting problems (What about the children — won't they be terribly confused? How does an interfaith family make it through Chanukah and Christmas? How is the wedding ceremony handled so as not to offend any family members?) and some interesting solutions. Cox keeps a Christmas tree in his home alongside his wife's and son's menorah. On their trip to Jerusalem, he and his family visited both Christian and Jewish religious sites. He writes about how much he has come to love the Sabbath meals, the menorah lights, and how much he enjoyed helping Nicholas prepare for his bar mitzvah. All the while, he has gained a deeper appreciation for his own

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holidays and traditions.

While Common Prayers is not a manifesto on interfaith marriage, Cox gives examples of how two people of different religions might learn from each other (rather than grow detached or lose their separate faiths in an attempt to reconcile their differences). His thoughts on raising a child in an interfaith marriage share a similar theme:

Preparing children to live out their faith in a religiously multifaceted world is not just a task for mixed-marriage families. As the twenty-first century begins to unfold, all children should be prepared to live in a society where the different world religions are no longer across the ocean but across the street. Learning to appreciate the foods and festivals of the "others" not only inoculates children against bigotry, it also helps them appreciate the distinctiveness of their own tradition.

For many Christians, Common Prayers will be a revelation of the rituals and holidays practiced by Jewish friends and relatives and an occasion to reflect on their own faith. For Jews, a Christian theologian's thoughtful view of their religion is certain to bring new and refreshing insights. And for every reader, Common Prayers will be a poignant journey, full of surprises, across the lines of faith and an opportunity to contemplate the wider context of his or her own spirituality.

About the Author

In 1965, Harvey Cox published The Secular City, which became an international bestseller (nearly a million copies sold) and was translated into fourteen languages. That same year Cox (who had studied with the theologians James Luther Adams and Paul Tillich while earning his Ph.D.) joined the faculty of Harvard University, where he is now Thomas Professor of Divinity and chairman of the Committee on Academic Programs. Along with courses he's taught on his own, Cox has paired up in the classroom with Professors Alan Dershowitz of Harvard Law School and Stephen Jay Gould of the Department of Paleontology.

In addition to Common Prayers and The Secular City, Cox has published several books, including On Not Leaving It to the Snake, The Feast of Fools,

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The Seduction of the Spirit (a runner-up for the National Book Award), Many Mansions: A Christian's Encounter with Other Faiths, Religion in the Secular City, and, most recently, Fire from Heaven. His articles have appeared in numerous publications, both scholarly and popular, including The Yale Review, The Journal of Oriental Philosophy, Archives des Sciences Social de Religion, The Atlantic Monthly, and the op-ed page of the New York Times. He also writes a column for beliefnet.com, the on-line interfaith religion magazine.

Before Cox entered academics, he served briefly in the merchant marine on relief ships carrying horses and cattle to Europe. After receiving his doctorate, Cox left immediately for Berlin (then divided by the Wall) and served for a year as an Ecumenical Fraternal Worker, traveling almost daily through Checkpoint Charley in an effort to maintain contact between the two sides of the divided city. Upon his return he worked actively with the Southern Christian Leadership Conference under Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and was one of the founders of the Boston chapter of the SCLC. In the fall of 1963 he was arrested for participating in a civil rights demonstration and spent a few days in jail in Williamston and Washington, North Carolina.

These days, Cox plays tenor saxophone with a Boston jazz-and-swing ensemble called Soft Touch, and is an enthusiastic member of the Boston Sailing Center. He is married to Professor Nina Tumarkin, who teaches Russian history and is codirector of the Russian Area Studies program at Wellesley College. He has four children and lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Praise for Harvey Cox and Common Prayers

"Warmth, humor, and first-rate scholarship illuminate this elegant, thoughtful work, which should be of great interest to those considering intermarriage, and those (including Jews) who simply would like to learn more about Judaism." — Kirkus Reviews

"As a theologian and prolific author, Harvey Cox has spent nearly a lifetime unwrapping complex religious issues in the public square. A media favorite, skilled in the art of the soundbite and asked for his learned opinion on everything from the morality of baby boomers to the religious authenticity of Generation X." — Publishers Weekly

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"No wonder he is the theological bestseller of his generation." — New York Times Book Review

"One of the most widely read and admired American theologians." — New York Review of Books

"An illumination and a challenge, Common Prayers is a masterpiece of inter-religious meditation. It lays bare the soul of a man, but it also opens a new phase of Jewish-Christian understanding. As so often before, Christians especially will learn from Harvey Cox, but every reader will be moved by this book, and changed by it." — James Carroll, author of An American Requiem and Constantine's Sword

"What a wonderful book. Every Jew and Christian facing the possibility that a family member will intermarry—which means virtually everyone—must read Harvey Cox's memoir-journey-analysis of what it means to be a committed Christian married to a committed Jew raising a Jewish child. Cox loves Jews and Judaism, as he does his own Christianity, but not only does he not seek to convert us, he insists that the children of every Jewish-Christian intermarriage must be raised as Jews. This is truly a book for the future. It helps to define what the relationship between Jews and Christians must become as we increasingly become members of the same family." — Alan M. Dershowitz, author of Supreme Injustice: How the High Court Hijacked Election 2000

"Cox has taken a closer and more sympathetic look at Judaism as actually lived than any other non-Jewish writer ever has. This thoughtful outsider/insider account will be fascinating to both Jews and Christians. Once again, we all have a lot to learn from Harvey Cox." — Rabbi Arthur Green, Brandeis University

A Conversation with Harvey Cox

Q) What has been the biggest challenge for you while incorporating Judaism into your life?

A) Maybe the feeling of being nearly overwhelmed by how much there is to learn: so much history, so many sources, so many holidays, so many varieties of Judaism — and so many different interpretations of the same text of rules. After a while, however, I became more relaxed when I found that

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even the most learned Jewish scholars and rabbis also sometimes feel overwhelmed, and that at its core there is a certain elegant simplicity to Judaism.

Q) What Jewish traditions, customs, or interpretations have been the hardest for you to reconcile?

A) I don't believe that everything needs to be reconciled. There are real and interesting differences between Judaism and Christianity (although they have much in common, too), and once I recognized and accepted this, it was easier-going. When I was a kid I was taught that Judaism was very important, but mainly as a historical preparation for Christianity. What happened in Jewish history after A.D. 33 did not seem to matter. But Judaism is far, far more than the Old Testament.

Q) In what ways do you feel that being married to a Jewish woman has changed your understanding of your own faith?

A) In lots of ways. For me, the mission of Jesus and of Christianity was and is to announce the Good News that the promises of God, whom Jews have worshiped for three thousand years, were and are open to everyone. Gentiles can now be partakers in the covenant. Someone once said this makes us "honorary Jews." So to understand Christianity properly one has to realize that it is the "God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob" we Christians are trying — in our way — to serve. For many Christians, Judaism served its purpose when Jesus arrived on the scene. But that is very wrong. Judaism is a living faith. What Judaism is is just as vital as what Judaism was.

Q) You write that couples who are considering an interfaith marriage should first and foremost consider the potential for children and how they should be raised. Why did you decide to raise your son Jewish instead of Christian?

A) I have learned that for the Jews, having children is a religious and spiritual obligation. They must continue to replenish the Jewish people so that God's promises can be kept and the Jews can be the "light to the nations" that God charged them to be. This has never been easy, especially given the frequent attempts to eradicate them. Nina and I agreed to raise Nicholas to love and embrace the Jewish faith and also agreed that I would take an equal role in his training. We have shared equally in his upbringing. It has been a joy and a blessing for all of us. I helped him to prepare for his bar mitzvah and

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discussed with him the questions raised by his Torah passage ("lech lehah": God's call to Abraham to leave his country behind). Remember that there are fourteen million Jews in the world, but there are nearly two billion Christians. For me, to help produce a new participant in this ancient commonwealth has been a privilege.

Q) Have you encountered a lot of criticism regarding your stand on interfaith marriage?

A) No. Nor can I honestly say I have a "stand" on this issue. I fully understand why many Jews are apprehensive about the increasing number of interfaith marriages. I think anyone considering such a marriage should not enter it lightly. But I also think, given the openness of our society and the way we live and work together, there are bound to be many people who fall in love and marry — and have children — across these lines. My concern is not either to encourage or discourage them, but to help them — if they do decide to go ahead — to do it with their eyes wide open. I want them to see that it can be a spiritual challenge and a rich blessing, and I want the Christian partner to understand why the "what about the children?" question is so basic.

Q) Before your marriage, what kind of appreciation or knowledge of Judaism do you feel you had? Has your personal experience contributed to your understanding of Judaism in ways that formal education has not?

A) Before my marriage I had a better than average understanding of Judaism. After all, I am a theologian. It was mainly, but not entirely, from books. I had attended an occasional bar mitzvah, a couple of Passover seders, and had made one visit to Israel. But my awareness was that of an "outsider" in most respects. Since I've had a Jewish wife and son, and since I took part in many Jewish holidays, Sabbath dinners (every week), and in other rituals such as "sitting shiva" (mourning), my knowledge has become more experiential. Now I have become convinced that it is virtually impossible to get a feel for the essence of Judaism in any other way.

Q) What have you found to be some of the greatest differences and commonalties between Judaism and Christianity?

A) We are so close, and yet so far. Strangely, fifteen years of participation in Jewish life has convinced me that Judaism really is a very different religion.

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We may be sisters or cousins. But we are different, and that difference must be respected. Even the same words, like sin and redemption, mean different things. The main difference that has struck me is the enormous emphasis on "peoplehood" in Judaism. Jews are first of all a people, and secondly a people with a particular faith tradition (though that tradition has helped make them a people). Christianity is by definition open to all nations and peoples. It is first of all a faith.

For this reason, perhaps, beliefs are significant to Judaism, but not nearly as central as they are to most branches of Christianity. Also the emphasis in many parts of Christianity on a "personal relationship with God" does not have a central place as in Judaism. Central rather is the experience of a whole people with God over many, many centuries. This is why Jewish prayers of repentance include so many lists of sins: they are repenting not just for themselves but for a whole people!

The traditional Jewish emphasis on "familism" is widely known. It is partly ethnic but also religious. Continuing the peoplehood from one generation to the next is enormously central, indeed a spiritual obligation. For all the current Christian emphasis on "family values," the New Testament is more concerned about neighbor than about family. As the husband of a Jewish wife I had to learn that being in touch almost daily with different family members, by phone or other means, was considered normal, not excessive. This also explains the family-centeredness of Jewish rituals. The Sabbath meal (unlike Holy Communion) takes place at home. The Passover seder also takes place at home. Christians are more used to rituals that occur in the church building.

I think we have to go beyond comparing Christian "beliefs" with Jewish "beliefs." This does not get to the heart of the matter. The whole pattern is different.

Q) What have you found to be some of the most common misconceptions about Judaism?

A) Many people still think that Judaism is about law while Christianity is about grace. Or that the Jewish God is stern and judgmental while the Christian God is loving and compassionate. But this is total nonsense, as any honest reading of the Jewish and Christian sources, or any examination of the practice of the two, will clearly demonstrate. The other misconception is that the religion of the Jews teaches them to be sad. God knows they have had much to be sad about in their troubled history. And they give sorrow its

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rightful place. But I have also found Judaism to be brimming with joy. L'chaim!

Q) What do you feel is the appropriate (or is there an appropriate) Christian response to the Holocaust?

A) Christians cannot ignore the ugly role Christianity — at least in some of its expressions — played across the centuries promoting anti-Semitism. Some of its elements are still present in certain liturgies and texts. They simply have to be gotten rid of. I do not believe that anti-Judaism is a necessary component of Christianity. If I did I would cease to be a Christian immediately. But I do believe that Christians have perpetuated hateful practices and attitudes. Still, I do not believe that endless breast-beating helps. It may even prevent doing what needs to be done: changing Christian attitudes, church education, liturgies, and theologies. It also means encouraging Christians who marry Jews to respect the bottom-line belief that the children of Jewish women are children of the Jewish covenant and should be raised to appreciate that privilege and to think of themselves as Jewish.

Q) You talk about the holiday season, including Chanukah and Christmas (or, as you call it, "December madness"), and the stress and conflict that take over our lives at that time of year. How might we more carefully navigate through this season of religious holidays?

A) It does not have to be a season of madness. It can be a time of joy and celebration for both observant Jews and serious Christians. First, we have to make clear that these are two distinct holidays, celebrating two different things. I think both Christians and Jews can — in their own way — mark both. But they should not be melded into one bland "holiday season." Chanukah recalls the first popular uprising in support of religious freedom against a tyrant. I can certainly celebrate that. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of the rabbi who opened the door of the convent to Gentiles. Many Jews, including prominent rabbis, can accept that. But even Jews who do not accept that idea can still take part in the celebration just as they might enjoy a birthday party of someone who is not a part of their own family. Last year I attended a party at Harvard to celebrate the Buddha's birthday. Buddhists welcomed me and many others. Why not? I don't have to be a Buddhist to appreciate the significance of Buddha (although my take on the Buddha would be different from that of his followers). As Christians, we have to assure Jews that what we are celebrating is our holiday, and not try to "include" them in ways that they do not want. Together, we might be able to

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celebrate something other than a shopping orgy.

Q) In Common Prayers, you discuss passages from the Bible in relation to different Jewish and Christian customs, beliefs, or holidays. How do you respond to the violent passages in both the Old Testament and the New Testament?

A)There are violent passages in the Scriptures of all the world religions. Even the Bhagavad-Gita, Gandhi's favorite text, celebrates a bloody battle. The Old Testament and the New Testament both have such passages. This is a problem for all the religions, and we need to work on them together. I do not believe they should be expunged. This would be to deny our history. We need to struggle with them, see them in their historical context, and never, never use them to lend religious endorsement to violence today.

Q)You talk about the Court of the Gentiles in your book. What is this and how is it important in the context of Common Prayers?

A)The Court of the Gentiles was the large area in the ancient Jewish Temple in Jerusalem (destroyed by the Romans in 70 C.E.) that stood between the outer walls and the smaller central structure that contained a space open only to male Jews and, inside that central edifice, the Holy of Holies into which only the high priest could enter and then only once a year on Yom Kippur. The Court of the Gentiles, however, was open to everyone. Gentiles could not only enter but could arrange for a sacrifice to be made.

As the Christian husband of a Jewish wife, I have entered into Jewish worship and practice on a regular basis for fifteen years. That experience gave rise to my new book, Common Prayers. I feel that I live in a kind of metaphorical Court of the Gentiles. I am a participant-guest, warmly welcomed but not party to the inmost chambers. I like that position. I think every religion needs both its own "inner sanctum," which can be fully appreciated only by those on the inside, and also a welcoming nearby, indeed environing, space.

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