radar revision
DESCRIPTION
RADaR Revision. Replace, Add, Delete, and Reorder. Replace…. w ords that are not specific w ords that are overused s entences that are unclear. Replace. Before As I ran to the finish line , my heart was beating . After - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
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RADaR RevisionReplace, Add, Delete, and Reorder
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Replace…•words that are not specific•words that are overused• sentences that are unclear
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Replace
BeforeAs I ran to the finish line, my heart was beating.
AfterAs I sprinted to the tape, my heart was pounding like a bass drum in my chest.
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Add…• new information• descriptive adjectives and
adverbs• figurative language ie: simile, metaphor,
personification, alliteration, onomatopoeia, hyperbole (rhetorical or literary devices)
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Add
BeforeShadows made the night seem scary.
AfterOminous shadows made the dark night
seem even more frightening.
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Delete…• unrelated ideas• sentences that sound good but
create (unity) organization problems• unwanted repetition (using the same word
over and over, using the same beginning to the sentences, using the same transition words)
• unnecessary details
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BeforeThe candidates talked about the issue, and
many of the issues were issues that had been on the voters’ mind
AfterThe candidates talked about the issues,
many of which had been on the voters’ minds.
Delete
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Reorder…• to make better sense or to
flow better • so details support main
ideasMain Idea
Supporting details
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Reorder
Before Put the sunflower seeds over the strawberries, which are on top of the pineapple in the bowl. You’ll have a delicious fruit salad!
AfterTo make a delicious fruit salad, cut pineapples
into a bowl. Add strawberries and then sprinkle a few sunflower seeds over the top.
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RADaR RevisionThat's all there is to it!
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Lets Get Busy
• Underline any nonspecific(BORING!) words.• Circle any overused or repetitive words.• Place an arrow before any nouns or verbs
which need an adjective or adverb to add better visuals(IMAGERY) for your reader.
• READ your personal narrative OUTLOUD to yourself tonight.