rccg the king’s palace family life ministry focus of the family

RCCG The King’s PalaceFamily Life Ministry

Focus of the Family

Tuesday, January 31 - 2012 The Courageous Family

IMPACT OF FAMILY VALUES ON THE QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIPS

OPENING PRAYER

JANUARY: THE COURAGEOUS FAMILY - IMPACT OF FAMILY VALUES ON THE QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIPS

FEBRUARY: SEMINAR RECAP - KEY LEARNING POINTS AS IT RELATES TO FAMILY VALUES

MARCH: IMPROVING THE QUALITY OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS

Family Life Ministry Q1 2012, Theme

FAMILY VALUES & QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIPS

Marriage Seminar Reminder

Marriage Seminar ScheduleFriday• Session One: The Four Foundational Laws of Marriage

– Speaker: Jimmy Evans– Time: 7:00 p.m. – 8:20 p.m.

• Q & A with Jimmy & Karen– Time: 8:20 p.m. – 8:50 p.m.

• Session Two: Understanding/Meeting Your Spouse's Needs– Speaker: Jimmy Evans– Time: 8:50 p.m. – 9:30 p.m.

Marriage Seminar ScheduleSaturday• Session Three: Parents - Past and Present

– Speaker: Jimmy Evans– Time: 9:00 a.m. – 9:50 a.m.

• Session Four: Destructive Husbands/Wives– Speaker: Jimmy Evans– Time: 10:20 a.m. – 11:00 p.m.

• Session Five: Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage– Speaker: Jimmy Evans– Time: 11:05 a.m. – 11:50 a.m.

• Vow Renewal Ceremony– Time: 11:50 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.

Text• Ephesians 4:14

That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;

• The key point is around the solidifying effect of personal values on an individual’s character…not “tossed by winds = pressures & circumstances”

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4:14&version=KJV

Pressures vs. Values

• Pressure at work will prevent you from creating time for your teenager (e.g. to run together as in the case of Adam & Dylan in the movie courageous ) • Unless you have a value system that

causes you to evaluate the impact of your action and decisions on your relationships!

Circumstances vs. Values

• Negative circumstances and life’s challenges will cloud your judgment and prevent you from maintaining a positive outlook of faith in God and His Word/Promises, unless you have a value system that causes you to look at your glass as half full rather than half empty! …and ultimately reflect on your relationships.

Values or Value System?

1. What is a value or value system?2. What are examples of things

affected by our value system?3. How does our values affect our

choices?4. How could our value system affect

the quality of our family life?

Value System

• A value system is a set of consistent values and measures. (Wikipedia)

• What then is value?– Value denotes something's degree of importance,

with the aim of determining what action or life is best to do or live (Wikipedia)

– Relative worth, merit, or importance (dictionary.com)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Value_system

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Value_(ethics)


• What are examples of things affected by our value system?–Relationships– Education (type/level/quality)–Choices/Decisions–Attention/Focus/Priorities– Friendships (choice of friends)

Opportunity Cost & Values

• Opportunity Cost: The cost of the alternative forgone (high school puzzle!...shirt or meal?)

• In our day to day life, we always are confronted with the need to make a choice between two or more alternatives

• Our values or value system is the key tool for identifying the alternative to forgo!

Opportunity Cost & Values• As an example, if you have a choice between spending

14 hours at work 6 days a week and spending quality time with your spouse, son and/or daughter

• Assuming– 14 hours/day; 6 days/week = Become “C” Level executive ($

$$$$$), but disjointed unfulfilling family relationships– 10 hours/day; 5 days/week = mid level career development

($$), but well adjusted and joyous family relationships • What will your choice be?

Opportunity Cost & Values

• You will be faced with such circumstances daily…may be not as dramatic!

• Question:– Can you identify a few similar examples to

share/discuss as a group?• Our values or value system is the key tool for

identifying the alternative to forgo when faced with these life’s choices!

Text Reminder• Ephesians 4:14

That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;

• The key point is around the solidifying effect of personal values on an individual’s character…not “tossed by winds = pressures & circumstances”

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4:14&version=KJV

Courageous Resolution’s Message

• Resolution by its very nature = development or cultivation of a value system!– Synonyms: Decision; Promise; Pledge

Courageous Resolution’s Message • "I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife,

and my children. I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home. I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me. I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength. I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly. I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy. I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion. I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family. I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged. I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God. I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will. I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. ---Joshua 24:15"

Examples of Values in The Resolution

Question:• What can you point out as examples

that will reflect on the character of an individual from the resolution in terms of their values?

The Resolution Message: • "I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife,

and my children. I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home. I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me. I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength. I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly. I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy. I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion. I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family. I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged. I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God. I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will. I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. ---Joshua 24:15"

+ 30 Values Identified in the Resolution Message

• "I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children. I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home. I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me. I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength. I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly. I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy. I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion. I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family. I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged. I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God. I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will. I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. ---Joshua 24:15"

Effect of Such Values on Family?

Question:• What do you think will be the effect

of such values on the type & quality of relationship between the spouses and/or between the parents & children in the home ?

Key Movies Characters

• Mitchells– Adam (father)– Victoria (wife)– Dylan (Son)

• Hayes– Nathan (father)– Kyla (wife)

• Shane Fuller (jailed police)

• Martinez– Javier (father)– Carmen (wife)

• David Thomson (rookie officer)

Values Systems & Movie

Questions:• What are examples of values

systems reflected or identifiable in some of these characters in the movie?• What were the effects of those

values on their relationships?

Values Systems & Movie• Absent Fathers (e.g. Nathan Hayes Father) – Kids 20x more likely to end up in prison

• My concern is not really about physically absent fathers…how about…

• Physically present fathers, but emotionally absent (e.g. Adam Mitchell in the beginning)– Daughter’s dance request denied (not important)– Son’s run request denied (too busy)

Our Own Values…

Question:• What will be your response in same or similar

situations? (be honest!)• What does such response tell you about your

values?HOMEWORK: • What do you need to work on in your family (in

terms of your values) to enhance the quality of your relationship?

Audience Q&A

Reminder: Revisit Your Family Vision & Values

Worksheet

Sections of the Worksheets

• Understand your family’s broad purpose & principles

• Define your family’s core values• Understand God’s purpose for your children• Develop specific goals and associated plans in

different aspects of your family relationship• Commitment to action…

CLOSING PRAYER

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