readability in academic writing

Readabilityfor success in academic writing

Lawrie HunterEditor/mentor, GRIPS CPC

No need to take notes (:^0)

All materials can be downloadedfrom Hunter’s slideshare at

http://slideshare.net/rolenzo/

Other resources athttp://lawriehunter.com/

Contact:For GRIPS business: [email protected] questions/discussion: [email protected]

Abstract

There are several distinct markers of success in graduate school.

1. Acceptance of the thesis / dissertation.

2. Publication of a research paper in a journal.

3. Acceptance to present at a conference.

In all three cases, success depends on the content of the document, and the writing of the document.

To be successful, writing must be readable, i.e. it must be easy and comfortable to extract information and argument from the writing.

Abstract (cont’d)

This workshop will introduce the concept of readability, beginning with a survey of the main elements of readability.

Then in a focus session two important elements will be presented: cohesion and topic-stress.

The workshop will close with practical tasks and pointers to resources.

Accessibility: it is easy for the reader to get the information from the writing.

Conformity: the writing follows the conventions-of academic writing, -of your field, and -of the target journal,

-as well as the conventions of everydaygrammar and usage.

Today’stopic area

Readability in YOUR writing life

How can readability knowledge work for your writing?

1. Working with a mentor, using coded feedback – fantastic learning opportunity.

2. Peer editing: with this knowledge, and basic problem solving / pattern recognition

3. Self editing: after you have let your writing ‘cool off’ –go back and check using a check list.

4. Using a writing model: a paper published on your topic / with your research design- checking: is it a good model???- check readability / FAE* / grammar

*FAE = formal academic English

Sample ofcoded feedbackcomments

-GRIPS studentpaper

Hunter’s mentor comment marks (coded feedback)

agr mistake with subject-verb agreement

awk A phrase or sentence is awkward (awkward = not smooth)

cas This language is casual, not formal.

comb Combine sentences.

conj This is a conjunction (don’t start a sentence with it).

gr grammar mistake

non-std this phrasing is not standard

par mistake with parallel structure

red redundant (some information has been repeated, e.g. The temperature was also recorded as well.

ref pronoun reference problem (what is the reference? is it correct form?)

rep repetitive

rephr Rephrase this.

run-on This is a run-on sentence; it's too long to be readable.

sp spelling mistake

S-V The subject and verb in a sentence do not agree in some way.

tense You have used the wrong verb tense (past/present/future) e.g. Yesterday I am going to Tokushima.

vag This phrasing is vague or ambiguous.

voice Change from the passive voice to active voice, or vice versa. e.g. The ball was hit by the batter. ('voice' means change to “The batter hit the ball.”)

windy This writing is run-on, it could and should be much shorter.

word Find a better word for your meaning.

Noticing

Audience

Conventions

Abstractness

Accessibility

Ethicality

Rhetoric

Registers

Usage

Lexical units

Collocation

Corpus

Concordance

Style guides

Arguments

RP structure

Communication moves

Moves in theintroduction

Claim

Hedging

Data commentary

Discussion movesConclusion

Purpose of writing

Document structure

Summarization

Abstracts

Introductions

Survival

Info organizations

General-specific

SPSE

Paragraph development

Cohesion

Readability

Information Structures

Information Structure signals

Voice

Aspect

Avoiding plagiarism

Citation

Using model language

Paraphrasing

The Style Dossier

Working with an editor

Working with a mentor

Coded feedback: the 2 page system

ClarityRhetoric vs. information Parallelism

Nominalization

Subordinate clauses

Eliminating vagueness

Eliminating ambiguity

FAEAcademic writing knowledge and skills

L. Hunter 2017

Degree of abstractionDocument structure SummarizingAbstracts and introductions

AudienceRhetorical modesRhetorical signals (transitions)RegistersFAE (formal academic English)

ConventionsUsageLexical unitsCollocationCorpusConcordance Style guides

Purpose of writingArgumentsStructure of a research paperCommunication movesMoves in the introduction Claims and hedgingData commentariesDiscussion sectionsConclusions

ClaritySeparating rhetoric and informationInformation structures Information str. signalsVoiceAspectParallelismNominalizationSubordinate clausesEliminating vaguenessEliminating ambiguity

AccessibilityInformation organizationGeneral to specific (GS)Situation-problem-solution-evaluationParagraph developmentCohesionReadability

EthicalityAvoiding plagiarismCitationUsing model languageParaphrasingThe style dossier

SurvivalWorking with an editor Working with a mentorCoded feedbackThe 2-page systemNoticing

Academic writing knowledge and skills

L. Hunter 2017

Main readability problems

Problems, not errors!

Please note the difference between 'problems' and 'errors'.

An error is a failure to obey some rule or to conform to some standard.

A problem is something else that somehow causes communication difficulty.

Many times a sentence or paragraph may be perfect grammatically, yet for one reason or more it is not very successful at communicating.

Main readability problems1. Subject-verb distance

e.g. too much subject-verb separation can make a sentence hard to read:

The most important of all the subprograms that make up a channeling monitor system for implementation in broadband transmission monitoring modules isgenerally agreed to be the clock phase module.

Main readability problems1. Subject-verb distance repair

Repair 1. Make two sentences instead of one:

A number of subprograms make up a channeling monitor system for implementation in broadband transmission monitoring modules. It is generally agreed that the clock phase module is the most important of those subprograms.


Repair 2. Discard some of the information, assuming that the reader can imagine it, and move the rhetorical phrase 'It is generally agreed' to the head of the sentence:

It is generally agreed that the clock phase module is the most important subprogram in a broadband transmission channeling monitor system.


Repair 3. Even without discarding any information, moving the rhetorical phrase to the head of the sentence makes the sentence much easier to read:

It is generally agreed that the clock phase module is the most important subprogram in a channeling monitor system for implementation in broadband transmission monitoring modules.

Here are 2 writings of the same information:

1. Although pattern languages are very useful for developing an overview of a

practical domain such as architecture, they are not sufficiently rigorous for

ontology work.

2. Pattern languages are not sufficiently rigorous for ontology work, although

they are very useful for developing an overview of a practical domain such as

architecture.

Main readability techniques2. Topic-stress (positions)





ontology work.



architecture.

The 'stress' position in sentence 1 ends with a somewhat

negative adjective phrase. What overall impression does the

sentence give about the topic, pattern languages?




ontology work.



architecture.

Is sentence 2 a more positive comment about pattern languages? Note

the presence of the positive adjectives 'useful' and practical' in the

second half of the sentence, i.e. in the 'stress' position.


Main readability problems3. Parallelism (in lists, in comparison)

Well written parallelism makes it easy for the reader to identify comparisons, contrasts and lists in sentences or paragraphs, or even in a section or a whole document.

In parallelism we make sure that elements that have the same function also have the same grammatical form.


Well written parallelism makes it easy for the reader to identify comparisons, contrasts and lists in sentences or paragraphs, or even in a section or a whole document.

Bannon:The former investment banker and White House chief strategist apparently thought he could do for Moore what he did for Trump in last year’s presidential election. He cast the race as less about Alabama than about furthering Trump’s economic nationalist agenda.

Main readability problems3. Parallelism (in lists, in comparison)Parallel nounse.g. Logic and non-linear thinking are both important for researchers.

Parallel phrasese.g. His score was above the class average but below his expectations.

Prepositional phrasese.g. In tennis as in badminton, anticipation is very important.

Infinitive phrasese.g. I have been so busy that I haven't had time to read the newspaper, wash the dishes or phone my mother.

Noun phrasese.g. He had no time for chatting, no strength for sports.


Clausese.g. He said that he couldn't remember where he'd been or what he'd done the night before.

Dependent Clausese.g. Hunter told the policeman that he hadn't been speeding and that he didn't like being stopped.

Independent Clausese.g. When time is short, work quickly; when time is plentiful, work hard.

Note: In the last example, the two independent clauses are joined by a semi-colon, which, like the word 'and', tells the reader that the two clauses are equally important.

Main readability problems4. Pronoun reference

e.g. 1

Smith [5] discounted the claim made by Williams [7] on the basis of his data analysis.

e.g. 2

Prior to the trade reforms of the 1990s, the Namerican economy was highly protectionist and several attempts at trade liberalization failed. This changed after the revolution in 1997, when the newly installed democratic government opened the economy to foreign trade and initiated trade liberalization.

Main readability problems4. Pronoun reference

e.g. 3 The calibration of the optometry device was very likely incorrect, since the measurement data did not agree with the simulation data. This caused the paper to be rejected.

In the above paragraph, the antecedent of 'This' could be:

1. the first clause of the first sentence2. the second clause of the first sentence, or 3. the whole first sentence!

Main readability problems5. Article choice

e.g. The data was analyzed using the Frompton model.e.g. The data was analyzed using a Frompton model.

e.g. During the experiment, if a subject expresses concern ...e.g. During the experiment, if the subject expresses concern ...

e.g. The main variables were number of decisions and number of levels.e.g. The main variables were the number of decisions and the number of levels.e.g. The number of decisions is different for each of the five scenarios.

OH!! https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/540/01/

Main readability problems6. Word choice (a.k.a. diction)

e.g. 1This study shows how strategic policy making can overcome entrenched structural constraints by taking advantage of the opportunities presented by domestic and external factors.

e.g. 2Hunter (2017) found evidence suggesting that the respondents opted more often for the status quo when the entropy, or similarity among alternatives, was high and therefore the decision was more difficult. e.g. 3

Hunter and Hunter (2002) conclude that choice consistency is also affected by structure of information.

Main readability techniques7. Cohesion

Cohesion is a huge and important topic for academic writers.It’s one of today’s focus session topics.

We can create cohesion:

-between sentences-between paragraphs-between sections of a paper


a) Topic based cohesion: repeated mention of a topicLook at this long, plain sentence:

Text (a): "Practice test study in the last few days before the TOEIC test can greatly enhance concentration and endurance and can reduce the number of questions missed by low-scoring students." [30 words]

This sentence does not have any emphasis in it; it does not grab the reader's attention.


a) Topic based cohesion: repeated mention of a topicExpand the sentence to three sentences, use repeated mention to create cohesion, andvary the grammar form of the topic.

Text (b): "1Practice test study is ineffective for long term preparation for the TOEIC test. 2However, in the last few days before the test, studying with practice tests can greatly enhance concentration and endurance for all students. 3In the case of low-scoring students, this type of practice can also reduce the number of missed questions." [52 words]


b) Rhetorical cohesion: Raising questions in the reader's mindIn question-raising type cohesion, some key element in one sentence is explained in the following sentence. For example:

1Analysis of the distillate revealed the unexpected presence of naphthaloze.

2This was deduced to be the result of contamination of the equipment.

3Several of the seals in the conduits were found to be flawed. 4The seals were old and the rubber had deteriorated.

Main readability techniques8. Joining sentences together:

1. By sentence combining (also called conjoining sentences)

e.g. My dog is white. My dog can catch a frisbee.

=> My dog is white and he can catch a frisbee.

e.g. I went to the library. I got a book on sentence combining.

=> I went to the library and got a book on sentence combining.

Main readability techniques8. Joining sentences together:

2. Using logical connectors

e.g. The unit contains several types of transistors. The unit contains a MOS-FET transistor.=> The unit contains several types of transistors, including a MOS-FET transistor.

Sentence combining is important for readability,whereas using logical connectors properly is important for both meaning and readability.

<<<<>>>>

For exercises, you can search the web with search words such as <"logical connectors" exercises ESL>

Main readability problems9. Vagueness and ambiguity

e.g. 1 There have been few studies of this phenomenon in the past decade.

e.g. 2 The original objective of the reclamation project, known as by Green Getback, was the recovery of land polluted with toxic waste, which largely resulted from nuclear plant error.

Main readability techniques10. NominalizationIn general, nominalization is the process of converting some phrase into a noun or noun phrase. For example we can nominalize parts of this sentence:

e.g. The researcher was concerned that her paper would not be accepted if she didn't get more data.

use nominalization to produceThe researcher was concerned that her lack of data would result in rejection of her paper.

or The researcher was concerned that her paper might be rejected because of insufficient data.

Main readability techniques

10. NominalizationAlso, we often use nominalization to make titles shorter and more elegant,

e.g. with the title

Techniques for Controlling Oxidation at High Temperatures

we use nominalization to get the noun phrase

High Temperature Oxidation Control Techniques.

Which is more readable, the first version or the second? Isn't the second version ambiguous?

Readability resources

Good books

Barzun, Simple and DirectCook, Line by Line: How to edit your own writingCutts, The Plain English GuideGopen, ExpectationsGopen, The Sense of StructureLeBrun: Scientific Writing: A reader’s and writer’s guideWilliams, Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace

Hunter’s various resourceshttps://lawriehunter.com/Purdue U’s OWLhttps://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/

End of introduction

Readability in YOUR writing life

How can readability knowledge work for your writing?

1. Working with a mentor, using coded feedback – fantastic learning opportunity.

2. Peer editing: with this knowledge, and basic problem solving / pattern recognition

3. Self editing: after you have let your writing ‘cool off’ – go back and do a check list.

4. Using a writing model: a paper published on your topic / with your research design- checking: is it a good model???- check readability / FAE* / grammar

*FAE = formal academic English

All materials can be downloadedfrom Hunter’s slideshare at

http://slideshare.net/rolenzo/

Other resources athttp://lawriehunter.com/

Contact:

For GRIPS business: [email protected]

For questions/discussion: [email protected]

1. MACRO writing strategy:

-plan structure BEFORE writing

It's much easier to build the structure or our writing BEFORE we write

than to repair structural problems after we write.

Argument

Claims and hedging

Information organization (G-S or SPSE or...)

Topic-stress

Paragraph development

Cohesion (rhetorical)

Rhetorical devices

Two common writing strategies

Today’s topics

2. MICRO writing strategy:

-repair AFTER you write

It's much easier to go back and check your writing for micro problems such as

subject-verb agreement and tense consistency AFTER you have written some

amount of text than to struggle consciously to avoid those problems as you write.

The main micro features that we should check after writing are:

Subject-verb agreement

Subject-verb separation

Parallelism

Nominalization

Tense, voice, aspect

Pronoun reference

Word choice (accuracy and specificity)

Ambiguity

Vagueness

Topic-stress

Sentence combining

-using conjunctions

-using logical connectors

Cohesion (topic-based)

Two common writing strategies

Today’s topics

Eliminating accessibility problems

In your writing, you need to eliminate writing problems that affect accessibility. Here is a simple outline of the factors of accessibility.

ReadabilitySubject-verb agreementSubject-verb distanceTopic-stress ‘rule’ParallelismPronoun referenceWord choice Article use (a / an / the / nothing)CohesionSentence combiningUse of conjunctions and logic linksClarityUnambiguous phrasingSpecificityPrecision

Accessibility: it must be easy and comfortable to extract information and argument from the writing.

ArgumentCohesionArticulate, clear rhetorical signals

readability in academic writing

Education