Red Elephant-

Have you ever gotten the urge to turn into a Magical Flying Elephant? Well now you can! With Red Elephant, Not to be confused with the restaurant. Just simply drink twenty seven cans, and you can turn into a magical flying elephant for 24 hours! Doesn’t that sound exhilarating? Red Elephant contains special ,illegal, and explosive substances inside that cause your internal organs to mutate into the form of an elephant. Normal Elephant mutation drinks cause all the way up to $19.99, but with this special TV offer, you can get yours for 10 payments of 24.99! But hurry, offers end quickly!

Side effects may include: Abdominal pain, cramping, Acne, Bleeding readily without clotting, Blistered, swollen lips; burning tongue, inflamed mouth, Bloating Blood in urine, Cancer, Constipation , Constricted airway, Depression, anxiety, panic, thoughts of suicide or death, agoraphobia, feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, feeling alone, Explosive Diarrhea, Desirability for illegal substances, Explosive, Gas, Hair loss, Heart Explosion, Joint pain, stiffness, or swelling, Complete Memory Loss, Mood swings , Night sweats , Numbness of the limbs, PMS, Pregnancy, Rashes in undesirable areas, Seizures, Intense Weight Gains, & most commonly, death.

Remember, this drink is created by minors, for whom can’t be sued. 99.9 of gastroenterologists support Red Elephant, and Red Elephant is sponsored by the Dr. William Arthur Bellingham III Institute for Gastroenterology.