Reena Saxena

Reena Saxena is an Image and Success Coach,trainer and content developer. She comes from aBFSI background.

Her published poetry appears in two anthologies -'Com Pen Di Um' published in Indiana, USA and'Life As It Happens' published in India. A lot more isin the offing in 2017.

The book is a collection of blogs on Behavior Management, Thinking Mapsand Personal Branding.

ReInventionshttp://reinventions.in

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ReInventions

Reena Saxena

All rights reserved Reena Saxena - http://reinventions.in

REINVENTIONS

The book of the blog http://reinventions.infrom 12 December 2015 to 21 December 2016

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BEHAVIORMANAGEMENT

Restructuring the theoryof Motivation

Monday 20 June 2016

________________

Avalanche buries 10 Army Personnel in Siachen.

Pathankot attack: Martyrs held their ground, showedunparalleled bravery.

These are the news headlines that have gripped thenation for more than a month now. There are severalinspiring stories of brave parents and wives, whoexpressed pride in the valour of their sons, and theirreadiness to sacrifice another family member at the altarof national honour and security. A retired army officialbroke down on national TV, since he could not bear thethought of anyone questioning the right to hoist thenational flag, at any spot in the country.

What motivates them ? And why are we unable toreplicate the models in academic and corporatesectors ?

We have grown up memorizing the Maslow’s theory ofmotivation, which gives a certain order in which needsshould be met, to keep people at peak performancelevels.

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Herzberg’s model also echoes more or less the sameview, though in a different structure.

See this statement by a defence chief, that overturns thetheory

The safety, honour & welfare of your country comes first, always & every time. The honour, welfare &

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comfort of the men you command, come next. Yourown ease, comfort & safety come last, always &every time. This had been the motto of the armedforces of India and they followed it through life anddeath.

by Air Chief Marshal N.A.K. Browne.

It appears that the armed forces are ruled by a reverseset of motivational factors :

How do they see it ?

Self-actualization :

The sense of self-worth is derived from sacrificing yourlife or limb or familial bonds, at the altar of service to thenation.

Self-Esteem :

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Abiding by the set of principles and values that havebeen inculcated during their training, and was the drivingforce to join the Army.

Love and belonging

The devotion to other team members, and theconfidence that their leaders will stand by them, to theend.

If these three needs are met, it relegates fundamentalneeds like physiological and  needs to the narrow end ofthe pyramid.

Facilitating factors

• Victory is hailed, but Defeat is not considered acrime. Putting in your best efforts is valued.

• Discipline and TeamWork are the prime movers, notCompetition.

• There is no fear of being let down by leaders orcolleagues.

• One does not switch regiments or companies, incase of interpersonal problems, or a posting ininhospitable terrains. This strengthens the internalbonds, and fosters team spirit.

• The physiological and safety needs of their familiesare taken care of, by the service rules andregulations, and that does not allow their drive orenthusiasm to flag at any moment.

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• Absence of work-life balance is not a de-motivator,since work has always superseded other aspects oflife, and accepted as a fundamental fact ofexistence.

These are the very factors, which are missing in acorporate environment, and create distrust anddissatisfaction.

Modified theory of Motivation

Let us play around with the triangle a little more, andcreate a model, where every other factor leads to thecentral driving force – Self Esteem and SelfActualization.

Physiological and Safety & Security needs are not so much of a motivator. But an absence of these factors can demotivate. This is because having the basic minimum, aids the self-esteem of people, and how they

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are perceived in society. It is a reassurance of notleading a sub-normal existence.

Love and belonging, too, strengthen the self-esteem. Ifan employee is quitting for greener pastures, but  theorganization lets him go with a feeling of being valued,of his career interest being held above organizationalneeds, and in a spirit of cheer and bonhomie, they havebuilt a long-term and mutually beneficial relationship.This can always be leveraged in future, to serve both.

Refinement of the theory at higher levels

At higher levels in the hierarchy, organizationalrelationships become a matter of co-ordinatedmovement of clock gears, and finding the exactinterlocking point where the bond clicks.

It is the higher self that matters, and will always do,in case of educated and enlightened individuals.

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When Trust Tears ApartMonday 20 June 2016

________________

This is inspired by the story of Diamond, Sir IsaacNewton’s pet, who was unwittingly, instrumental in thedestruction of several years of research work. Diamondknew nothing about the value of those papers, but wouldsure have understood and commiserated with hismaster’s distress after the incident. And that made SirIsaac Newton absolve him with the words " Alas! youdon't know what you have done".

The desire to relive the happier moments induces one totrust again, and in the process, overlook some lessonsfrom the past. Re-opened doors can allow both the Godand the Devil to enter, and in some unfortunate cases,the Devil strikes again. As they say . “Beware- TheDevil was once an Angel” .

This moves the receiver from frustration to despair toscepticism to cynicism, with every repeat incidence ofthe experience. In some cases, the perpetrators doknow what they have done, and derive a sadistic delightfrom it. In some other cases, there may be genuinerepentance, but they have burnt bridges behind them.

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FRAGILITY OF TRUST

What is it about trust that makes it so fragile ? We arewilling to live again, love again, and walk again after afall, but NEVER TRUST AGAIN ?

David Maister, in his book, “The Trusted Advisor”,discussed the following Trust Equation

The Self Orientation factor is crucial to the equation. Thelevel of Trust dips, as soon as the level of the otherperson’s Self-interest rises. Acting in selflessness, in thelarger interest, therefore, emerges as the principalingredient of trust.

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And total selflessness may only be a virtue of the saints.

THE ALGORITHM OF TRUST

Trust, as we know it, is a function of

• Past experience

• Image of a person

• The set of circumstances under which the twoparties are reaching an agreement

• Susceptibility to external influence.

• Perception of the situation (Naivete, misplaced trust,unrealistic expectations or a time-relevance all fallunder this ).

We build different levels of trust depending on these fivefactors, and build checks and balances to protect ourown interest. The equations that emerge after both sideshave done their mental mathematics, are the PowerEquations in an organization, nation, family or society.

CONSEQUENCES OF A BREACH OF TRUST

This is different from a ‘breach of contract’, where theparties are legally bound, and it is possible to proceedlegally against the offender. Breach of trust happens,when information is shared in good faith, expectationsare built up based on perceived behaviour patterns, butthe results are different from what was expected. Thiscould be the trust between members of anorganizational team, or the trust one places in the

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professional ethics of a coach, a therapist, a consultantor a banker.

The action of breach may be beyond the purview of law,or organizational rules and regulations, but has inflicteddamage.

BEHAVIORAL IMPACT

• Counter-strategy

Tighten the rules and regulations, to prevent recurrenceof the act. It may hamper smooth operations, causeavoidable delays and lose all relevance after some time.The people on the ground do not understand why theshackles were created in the first place.

Perceived Justice

Punish the offender with available means. This couldresult in a debarment, demotion, dismissal or divorce.

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The offender is often excluded from channels ofcommunication.

Revenge

Recover damages to the extent possible, by usingmethods, beyond the scope of organizational rules andprocedures. This could result in people taking law intheir hands.

Destruction of the organizational or national culture

Paranoia from the Past overtakes logic of the presentmoment. This thread affects the entire fabric ofrelationships, and gradually, creates a culture of distrust.Good Samaritans and Positive Pauls are quicklylabelled as Fools. The Divide and Rule policies areframed by insecure and paranoid leaders, and this mayhave more to do with self-preservation and keeping theveil intact on unsavory secrets. But the culture of distrusthas been created.

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Psychological damage

Individuals can develop fears and phobias that mightneed counselling or psychiatric intervention. It affects allother relationships in their lives.

A Breach of Trust is not always Unethical

It could be a “Breach of Trust” Vs. “ Breach ofPrinciples” situation. The values of a person may clashwith those of his colleagues, friends or family, and s/hechooses the former. Killing your own conscience or thevoice of reason, to gain trust of wrongdoers may not besomething, everyone can live with.

All said and done, the strife to maintain a balancebetween self-interest, organizational or societal interestand Trust will continue. It either takes an exceptionalstrong individual , or a psychopath to emerge unscathedfrom the situation.

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The elasticity of a framework or mind-set, to returnto its original state, scarred but smarter , is all thatmatters.

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The Anatomy of TrustMonday 20 June 2016

________________

(Source: ibible.org)

A child is about to be hit by a moving vehicle. An instantreflex makes us pull the child away, and makes thedriver apply brakes.  The result may be a few bruises, ora minor accident due to the sudden application ofbrakes, but the safety of the child is paramount. And thisis not necessarily, YOUR CHILD.

Why is this kid laughing ?

• Trust

He trusts that the adult is bigger and stronger, andcares.

2. Inexperience

He does not know the consequences of a fall. Hence,the mind is without fear.

3. Hope

He hopes to land in somebody’s arms.

Introduction to Trust

Human beings are genetically wired to like babies. Theirinnocence and helplessness, instantly arouse ourprotective instincts. This instinct extends further into ourlove for pets, depending on our perception and needs.

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The cute puppy is a ‘Baby’ for one, and a destructiveirritant to another member of the family. It is a projectionof our innermost self into the world. The behaviour isegged on by our need to be unconditionally loved, or adistrust of dissimilar species.

We are introduced to the concept of Trust in earlyinfancy – when we have no other option but to trust ourcaretakers. We are born into an idyllic situation ofunconditional love. The concept gradually changes intosuspicion and distrust. This happens with occurrence ofa clash of interest, coupled with our basic instincts forself-preservation.

‘Is Mom telling Dad about my misadventures during theday?’

‘Did Bro or Sis devour my share of the cake?’

And we learn to evolve our defence strategies.However, we have to continue living under the sameroof, with the same set of people, and we depend onthem for survival.

Evolution of Trust

Trust is now a need, a strategy, not an instinct. Theneed to trust emanates from dependence, and theconsequent mutual benefits.

• Role play expectations

‘You are my mother, and hence, you are supposed to doit for me. Everybody’s Mom does it.’

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2. Mutual Benefit

‘You don’t tell Mom that I took the cookie, and I won’tsay that you spilt the drink on the sofa.’

3. Partnership in crime or lies

‘We’ll blame it on the dog’.

4. Past experience

‘She has always stood by me, through thick and thin’.

5. Expecting a return

‘I helped him with his homework’.

Embedding of Trust in the psyche

Trust may be the glue between a group of strangersworking on a common project, a group of friends on amountaineering expedition or a family sharing the sameroof. It becomes a code of conduct for evolved humanbeings.

We see it in noble animals, who love, trust and helpeach other, and extend the same behaviour to adifferent species. We also see the ‘Might is Right’ rule ofthe animal kingdom, where the fate of the weakerorganism is to become a meal for someone else. Wesee their courage, and their survival strategies.

And we choose our path, which is a function of our valuesystem and past experience.

The Trust Test

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What happens

If there is a clash of interest, for my survival ?

• I work towards my own gain, irrespective of the bondwith the other person.

• I try and find a mutually beneficial solution, withminimum damage inflicted.

• I mitigate the blow, by informing the aggrieved party,of the circumstances under which I am compelled todo this.

If the other person is a stepping stone to mysuccess ?

The other person is an unsuspecting ally or friend, andhas done nothing to harm me. Maybe, he has helpedme in the past. But I will not get that inheritance orpromotion or the proverbial pot of gold, unless I harmthis person. So, I choose to sacrifice him.

If the other person is smart enough to see throughthe game?

I devise games to gain his trust, and be seen as an ally.Then, I subtly choose to play the last card to win. I enjoythe thrill of subtle warfare, of mind-bending risk, of astimulating challenge, and the ultimate victory.

If the other person is innocent and unsuspecting,and I stand to gain nothing from the game ?

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Yet, I choose to kill him, metaphorically. It is thecharacteristic of a cold-blooded, apathetic criminal, whoderives pleasure from feeding on sores.

The Game of Life

If I placed trust in another individual or a situation, whydid I do so ? Why do I think that another is responsiblefor my welfare? Which childhood situation drives myexpectations?

Life is another name for growing up, and growingtogether or apart.

The response of the victim in recovering from the blow ,and rebuilding his life, becomes the ultimate test forsurvival. It turns him into a strong person, a sceptic, acynic or another perpetrator of injustice.

And is the perpetrator ever able to trust, after doingthe deed?

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Being JudgementalMonday 20 June 2016

________________

An oft-repeated conversation between me and mypartner is about preferred social sets. He fully acceptsme as I am in our little world, but is bothered aboutsocial perceptions on my introversion. (Is that being lessor more judgemental?)

These are some excerpts from a recurring exchange ofviews.

My Partner :

Why are you always so judgemental?

Me :

Really? Am I ?

My Partner :25

I find you to be so. You need to be more accepting ofpeople, warts and all.

Me :

But who is talking about warts or whatever you wish tocall it? They have different mind-sets, and I would behappy, if they saw things from a different perspective.But, it is none of my business. And if I accept that it isnot, then am I being judgemental ?

I cite a few dictionary definitions, to support my case.

Oxford

( disapproving ) judging people and criticizing them tooquickly

( formal ) connected with the process of judging things

The Free Dictionary

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Inclined to make judgments, especially moral orpersonal ones:

Merriam Webster Dictionary

‘tending to judge people too quickly and critically’

Google

‘having or displaying an overly critical point of view’.

My Partner :

Exactly. The definitions spell out how you behave attimes.

Me :

I wonder why the word judgemental has acquired anegative connotation, whereas the meaning of theparent word ‘judgement’ is about having a balancedview. Why am I not accused of the crime, when Icompliment or befriend a person? I am using judgement.

What makes us different?

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My inherited traits, acquired knowledge, lifeexperience and the microprocessors inside me , allcontribute to the formation of my world view. It is thesame with the other person. And it is not necessary thatwe share all the factors in the same proportion. It isabout finding the Highest Common Factor, and theLowest Common Denominator, and building a social lifebetween that.

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn has said that we are theaverage of five people closest to us. This is based onthe law of probability, which says that the result of anygiven situation will be the average of all outcomes.

(Source : http://www.businessinsider.com/jim-rohn-youre-the-average-of-the-five-people-you-spend-the-most-time-with-2012-7?IR=T)

I interpret the assumptions behind the statement asfollows :

• Exchange of positive interpersonal energy boosts us.

• Exchange of relevant information supports us.

• A forward thrust comes easily from shared goals,and a combined effort.

• A constant review and readjustment of ourmicroprocessors, helps us in choosing the bestpossible options.

• Lesser the friction, higher the energy conserved forpositive action.

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Then, is it wrong, if I prefer spending less time withdissimilar or clashing mindsets?

I am exercising a choice, not being judgemental.

My Partner :

Is it ethical to change the circle? We have certainobligations to the people we have grown up around, andwho have contributed to our lives in some manner. Theycannot be sidelined, because you have grown andevolved in a different direction. Glenn Lopis says thatthe doubters, critics and the envious are the peoplethat build up your mental toughness. Do not run awayfrom them.

Me :

I fully agree, and I do not intend to be selfish or rude.But I see a graded pattern in interactions, and it is aboutmindsets, not obligations imposed by the Parent or Childinside me.

The four zones of physical closeness are intimate,personal, social and public . I have a similar mentalclassification, and my discomfort increases, whenpeople from the outer zones make attempts to migrateinwards.

The zones are defined by the time spent with them,the level of formality, the range of topics discussed,and a two-way flow of thoughts.

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My Partner :

But, why do you assume authority on classifyingpeople? Our kith and kin have a greater right on ourresources and time.

Me:

I accept that in a macro perspective. But I reserve therights to choose the kind of interactions that I would liketo have, and with whom. I may choose to spend timewith myself, or focus on the initiatives that they are not apart of.

My training in Coaching has taught me to benon-judgemental, but confined to the particular case andsituation, and with an objective of not obstructing theclient’s flow of thoughts. It is all about the client, as longas it is the client’s life .

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My acceptance increases with an expansion of my worldview. Larger the canvas, smaller the problem appears tobe. The perspective changes with the context. It is theframework on our thought process, and it keeps shifting.

Life goes on, and so do the discussions. The kith andkin are only chosen as an example, and the situationcan occur with any social or professional set of people.

Your perspective is most welcome.

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Zero-Based ThinkingTuesday 28 June 2016

________________

A kid with bright eyes and an inquisitive demeanour wasasked for his name, during a school inspection. Theprompt answer was

“My name is Johnny Don’t”.

It appeared to be an improbable name, so the Principalof the school decided to probe further, asking about hisfamily background, and who had given him that name.He elaborated that his mother was the driving forcebehind his achievements, and she always encouragedhim by saying:

“Johnny Don’t Keep Doing That.”

He was happy that she had taught him to bepersevering and persistent. He had earned accoladesfrom all his teachers for his consistent achievements inevery field.

This child had captured the essence of success, bydisplacing the punctuation mark in his mother’ssentence, and turning negativity to positivity.

Measuring Incremental Progress

Forward motion starts at birth, as the clock and calendarkeep ticking away the years. All progress is beingaccounted for, in an incremental manner. The night pullsus back, as close as possible, to the foetal state –

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closed, protected and comfortable in the dark. The minddoes not remain still, though. The subconscious replayswhatever was ignored by the conscious mind during theday, in our dreams or intuitive flashes. It is the job of theconscious mind to draw inferences from subconsciousactivity, and let it influence life going forward.

Life does not allow us to slip backwards, or drop thebaggage from the past. We carry the burden of ouridentity, our experience and the blueprint that we haveonce drawn for the rest of our life. If at all, mishap ormisfortune do manage to pull us back, it is labelledregression or de-growth, a negative term, notdisplacement or migration.

Incremental progress is measured from the beginning oflife, not from any point in between. What if you took adetour, and started afresh at some point?

The Power of Zero

Zero defines and balances both the positive andnegative, and is yet, misconstrued as a state ofnothingness in colloquial language.

“Oh, Jack and Social Sciences! He is a Big Zero”.

Have we bothered to check if Jack scored well in othersubjects, or his relative grades in different subjectsunder social sciences, or improvement during a certainperiod? Does he qualify to be called a Zero, despite hisother achievements?

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We measure life elements on both sides of zero, andisolate the fulcrum. That is also the Power of  Zero --- ofinfluencing, of giving other numbers their relativeposition, without being impacted itself.  It transformsnumbers in its trailing position (2400), and lets them bein its leading  position (0024). It can shift the value ofnumbers from zero to infinity, by a simple operation ofmultiplication or division.

What is more powerful than Zero?

Something more powerful than zero is a tiny dot calledthe decimal point, which transforms zero into aplaceholder.  The value of zero changes with itsplacement vis-à-vis this dot (0.0024 or 0.2400).However, zero does not lose its importance. 1.024 is notthe same as 1.24, despite the decimal being placedafter 1.

I see Zero as the core being, the soul, the source ofenergy in a human being, while the Decimal Point is theUniversal Consciousness, a centripetal force that driveshuman life. The core is strong by itself, but the UniversalConsciousness can help in making it aware of its place,vis-à-vis all other forces in the universe.

Meditation aims at reaching this point of being, notdoing. It enables fair and impartial observation ofwhatever is happening inside and around us.

How do we focus on Zero?

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The burden of the past (birth, heredity, tradition, debtsand transferred life expectations) prevents us fromleading a self-aligned life.

Zero-based budgeting is a tool, where one needs tojustify every item of expenditure in the present context.The base figures are not taken as automaticallyapproved. It is not an incremental budget that is builtupon a base figure, and assumes that all incurred costswill continue.

Life needs to be planned in the same way. Shift the zeroto your present position. It will help in accuratemeasurement of future progress.

Look for the decimal point, and where has it placed you.The relativity to a circle of your priorities matters morethan linear growth.

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Source: positivefocus.ca

The only question that we really need to ask ourselvesis

What would I do, if I could start again on a cleanslate ?

We need to move backwards, but stop at zero. Refuseto slide onto the negative scale. The questions that youask yourself should be :

• How is the current situation serving you? Are youlearning from it, or is it holding you back?

• Which past value or belief stands in the way of yoursuccess?

• What do you need to shed in order for you to moveforward?

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• Which past experience or belief is influencing yourassumption of the situation?

A limitation, once identified, loses its force, and can beovercome. Identify the voice which prompts that this isan impossible option. Think about the circumstanceswhich made that voice say so. Are you facing identicalcircumstances? If not, then what stops you?

The Balance Sheet of Life

I can hear my business brain say that we may not reachthe targets with this approach. Balance sheets need toshow a steady upward graph, not a zigzag line. Thetargets and the approach remain valid, as long as youwish to be measured by the same market on the sameparameters. If you don’t, change the path. The targetsand goalposts will lose validity. You need to press thereset button.

A just social order

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The same principle applies to a society. If linear growthis taking you in undesirable directions, press Reset. Thefuture generations will thank you for the foresight. Weneed not leave a legacy that is a burden to them, be itthe economy, the environment or an unjust social order.

Stephen Fry says that our assumptions and vestedinterests, color our perspective of a just society. Thisvideo nails the burden of the past and self-interest thatwe carry, and which comes in the way of building a justand equitable social order.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8GDEaJtbq4

( a 2-minute watch)

Coverpic source: Source: referenceforbusiness.com

external link(s):1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8GDEaJtbq4

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Why Behavior TrainingFails

Tuesday 5 July 2016

________________

What will make companies spend more on Training andDevelopment ?

• A compliance clause similar to the one on CorporateSocial Responsibility.

• Reduction in attrition rate.

• Measurable Returns on Investment.

…..  The list can go on endlessly, with conflictingopinions and viewpoints.

The targets of criticism are often :

• Lack of follow-up.

• Lack of clarity in roles and responsibilities.

• Lack of co-operation from seniors.

• Resistance to change.

• Internal politics and turf wars.

• Nominations for training being irrelevant to the needsof the organization.

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• Training programs being treated as a perquisite/paidholiday/alibi to keep a person away from the officefor sometime.

Again, the list is endless.

Behavior is not an absolute, which can be targetedin isolation. It is just one aspect, and a consequenceof several other factors.

Borrowing from the software terminology, every personis an object , which belongs to a class called humanity. Every object (person) has state and behavior .

1. Identity :

Every instance of a class should be unique. e.g. inmemory, every object has its own memory address.

Every person has a name, gender, address, profession,social tag like community, race etc. to give it a uniqueidentity.

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2. State :

Every object, at any given point of time would have tohave a set of attributes defining its State.

Reactive State :

In this state, a person acts as a response to the stimuli itreceives from the environment. They are largely defencestrategies to protect oneself, and safeguard interests inthe given environment. This can also be equated to the‘reptile and mammal intelligence’ of a human being(Maclean’s model, 1970).

The ‘reptile brain’ consists of the brain stem andcerebellum, and it gives an individual its survivalinstincts. The ‘mammal or limbic brain’ consists ofhippocampus, amygdala and the hypothalamus. Thiscan record memories of behaviours that producedagreeable and disagreeable experiences, so it isresponsible for what are called emotions in humanbeings.

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Proactive State :

A person is stable and centered in this state. This is thecore of an individual, which does not change with theenvironment. Value systems, genetics, physicalattributes etc. fall under this category.

This can be equated with the ‘human brain or neocortex’in the Maclean’s model, 1970. This corresponds to thetwo large cerebral hemispheres in the brain. Thesehemispheres have been responsible for thedevelopment of human language, abstract thought,imagination, and consciousness. The neocortex isflexible and has almost infinite learning abilities .

(Source : http://thebrain.mcgill.ca/ )

All three types of intelligence co-exist, and have evolvedtogether.

Behavior :

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Every object based on its state and optionally identitywill have particular behavior.

Behavior is what a person does , as opposed to what aperson is . In a human being, behavior is an outcome ofthe state, in which an individual is, at that particularmoment. Behavior cannot be influenced, withoutchanging the ‘state’ of the individual.

The stimuli from the environment will keep changing,and so will the response of the individual, in its ‘reactive’state. Hence, development programs need to bedesigned to keep a person in his proactive state, for amaximum period of time.

HOW TO REMAIN PROACTIVE?

The reactive state helps an individual in ensuring itssafety viz. In the fight-or-flight response it evokes in adangerous situation. It also accesses the recordedmemories of previous situations, and the pleasantnessor unpleasantness related to that situation. This createsthe emotional response. Anger, confusion, withdrawal,hysteria may all be manifestations of fear, induced by aprevious memory.

A proactive mindset can be created by watching thesereactions carefully, interpreting them, learning fromthem, and modifying further behaviour. It creates thatsense of centeredness and unflappability in anindividual. It is referred to as ‘maturity’, as it is aconsequence of learning from prior experience.

Choosing not to be Reactive, is being Proactive .43

The following steps are an indicative strategy, notexhaustive.

• Watch your thoughts, gut reactions, language andthe causative factors.

• Access the memories that created it.

• Analyse, and assure yourself that circumstances arenot always the same.

• Create a plan for the future, and stick to it.

• Follow up on the commitments made, to yourself andothers, and deliver.

Watch this short video ( 1 min, 39 seconds)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT8zw2yCjbA

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and EmotionalIntelligence (EI) training should ideally precede othermodules. The receptivity to training, and effectivenesswill both increase.

Coverpic source : humanityhealing.net

external link(s):1.http://thebrain.mcgill.ca/flash/d/d_07/d_07_p/d_07_p_tra/d_07_p_tra.html2. http://thebrain.mcgill.ca/

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Neuro-Logical Alignment(Internal & External)

Friday 8 July 2016

________________

Jackie is a conscientious and hard-working individual.He wakes up in the morning, dresses up to go to work,and breaks into hives exactly at 9 a.m. The doctors havenot been able to diagnose a cause, or offer a cure forthe problem. He tried various para-medical treatments.Then, a friend suggested that he should try neurologicalalignment with a NLP expert.

What is Neurological Alignment?

This is a Neuro Linguistic Programming pattern, basedon the work of Robert Dilt. He opined that peopleoperate at different levels at different times, and amisalignment between the levels causes confusion anddiscomfort. A complete alignment brings people closerto their goals in life, and success.

Awareness of these six levels, helps a person inidentifying the disconnect between them, if any, and theconsequent cause of discomfort.

• Environment (Time and Place)

• Behavior (Thoughts and actions)

• Capabilities (Resources and Skills)

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• Values and Beliefs (Ingrained system withinwhich a person functions)

• Identity (How a person sees himself or herself)

• Spirituality (A higher purpose in life)

The conversation between Jackie and his coachproceeded on the following lines.

“You said you believe in a honest and fair means ofearning a livelihood. But, your professional act ofconcealing facts and fudging numbers reveals theopposite.”

“Yes. But, I need the job, and my boss expects me to dothat. I have my share of domestic responsibilities, andall financial plans have been chalked out with thecontinuation of this income.”

“What stops you from finding another job?”

“The industry is going through a recession. Age-ism isalso a barrier in getting a new job. I will lose all myvested ESOPs, if I quit at this stage.”

(There is a conflict between environment and perceivedcapabilities).

“Have you used your network to look for opportunities?Would you like to set up your own business?”

“No. My social circle sees me as a successful executive.Talking about this will dent my image. My familymembers are all well-placed professionals, civil service

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officials or high profile executive. But nobody hasventured into a business.”

(Conflict between identity, capability and values/beliefs)

“Are you happy doing whatever you do, to keep yourboss happy?”

“No. But, I remain as tactful as possible, and stay out oftrouble.”

(He has modified his behaviour to suit the environment,but the clash with values still remains)

“How would you like to be remembered, at the end ofyour life? Wealthy, successful, a good human being, aphilanthropist?”

“A person who achieved success by ethical means, andhelped others”

(This crystallizes the values/beliefs and spiritual aspectsthat are clashing with the environment. If the person justwants to be wealthy, s/he would be well-aligned).

“What if you tried? What can be the worst and bestpossible scenario?”

Now, Jackie starts realizing that he needs to alignhimself, if he wants to see effective and comprehensivechange in his life. Either he alters his perspective, andaccepts wealth creation as the principal goal in life, orlooks for alternative means of earning a living. Maybe,he has to live with less, but it will be a more satisfyinglife.

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Organizational Levels and Alignment

The same six levels can be made applicable to anorganization.

Identity                     Vision and mission Belief                        Culture and philosophy Capability                Knowledge and skills Behavior                   Practiceand customs Environment            Surroundings,equipment and location

Spirituality               Applicable only to philanthropicor non-profit organizations

Change in an organization can be successful, only withcomplete alignment of the first five levels. Else, successis hollow, and a mere eyewash.

Alignment between the employee and organization

Attrition, lack of motivation, mental health anddysfunctional behaviour traits amongst employees, areall a consequence of non-alignment of the employeewith the organization at each level. The Vision andMission statements on the websites do not reflect theactual environment in the organization. Employees arewell aware of the leaders’ motives, functioning stylesand the dichotomies involved between the variouslevels.

What can be done?

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Unhappy employees like Jackie should introspect,keeping each level of the pyramid in view. The actualcause of frustration will reveal itself.

It may not always be possible for an employee to leave,or to expect that the next organization/venture would bean ideal place to work in. In that case, s/he has torealign life goals and perspective, to ensure smoothfunctioning. ‘Counting your blessings’ is one method ofrealignment, where a person starts seeing the benefitsof the arrangement (like social status, professionalidentity, a platform to exhibit competence etc.), and thisreduces the internal friction that s/he has encounteredbefore.

Organizations can help employees to realign, byfacilitating coaching, NLP intervention or any othersessions/techniques that can help. This resolves internaldissonance, and helps the employee to deliver the best.

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Why should a leader notcompare & contrast?

Saturday 23 July 2016

________________

“Personality begins where comparison leaves off.Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.”― Shannon L. Alder

And yet, it is so difficult to be unique, or to flaunt it.Research shows that human beings do comparethemselves with others, and form an assessment of theircapabilities based on that.

The Fab Five

Broadly, there are five scales of comparison, whichappear to determine the self-esteem of a person:

• Power

• Aggression

• Social Attractiveness

• Talent

• Wealth

Self Esteem

• People with a high self-esteem are pleased to seetheir placement vis-à-vis others on a comparative

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scale, but lose interest in this comparison aftersometime. They do not feel a need to do that.

• Comparison and contrast make a person with lowself-esteem unhappy, and they try to hide from publicview, lest the weaknesses are exposed. However,they are driven by a need to improve, and flaunt theirachievements, as they move up the scale. Theycompare and contrast at every stage of their upwardjourney, as it lends a feel-good factor.

Co-operation or Competition

• People in a co-operative situation tend to judgethemselves as good or bad, based on theperformance of their team.

• In a competitive situation, people in all teamsvisualize themselves poorly, by a comparison withthe highest performers.

Context

Organisations use this psychology to maximizeproductivity. But the context in which performance isbeing measured should always remain clear, and madeknown to the stakeholders.

• Contests and incentive schemes are introduced todrive people to maximum performance levels. Theseare usually a combination of competition betweenindividuals and teams. All the above factors are atplay here.

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• Performance appraisals are mostly designed tomeasure individual performance, and an employee,has to drive the point hard, if s/he has done well in achallenging environment (the economy,technological or geographical limitations, internalissues during the period of appraisal).

• The cultural fit of an employee is decided based onhow well s/he performs on the five scales ofcomparison.

In each of the above three cases, the needle moves ona different scale, and yields different results.

The Overall Perspective

• The absence of clarity on context, or an overallperspective, can inflict immeasurable damage, in thefollowing scenarios:

• An employee withdraws into a shell, due to a lowscore on the comparison scale. The person does not

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reveal the facts, which led to a low performance, ass/he sees it as a matter of shame. The organizationhas missed out on a lot of information that couldhave helped them gauge the external environment,or internal problems, and reshape strategy.

• If the performance gap between the highestperformer and others is very large, the performingemployee understands the dependence of theorganisation. It might lead to a demand for adisproportionately high rank or wages, and a threatto leave, if the demands are not met. Complacencealso becomes an unconscious barrier to scaling upperformance

• Past masters at the game can resent the rise of thebrash, upcoming stars.

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Pic : mensxp.com

• An overall consistent performer can feel depressed,owing to lack of recognition in a time-bound contest.

• People with high individual contributions may losemorale, owing to a low team performance. Thejuxtaposition with a low contributor in a highperforming team can exacerbate the situation further.

• A high-performing employee can leave, owing to apoor cultural fit. The organization loses out on these‘islands of excellence’, if there is no effort to integratethem in the mainstream.

• An employee who is held in high esteem by peersand subordinates for the excellent support s/heprovides, is rated low by superiors, due to political orsome other factors. This usually ends up in theemployee’s resignation.

How can the gap be bridged?

Modesty

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Modesty is only an attempt to maintain like-ability. Aperceived gap in any of the Fab Five parameters,causes the less fortunate to withdraw. The people at thehigher end of the spectrum downplay their strengths andachievements, in order to make others feel comfortable,and reduce the gap. This is labelled as humility,modesty, charm or charisma in different situations. It isall about creating a level of comfort.

However, this approach has its limitations, as spelt outby the wise.

Modesty is a learned affectation. And as soon as lifeslams the modest person against the wall, that modestydrops -- Maya Angelou

False modesty is worse than arrogance – DavidMitchell

True it is that covetousness is rich, modesty starves --John Milton

Promoting individual excellence through coaching

1. Coaching and counselling can help employeesidentify their core strengths.

2. Coaching can remove the mental blocks that arecreated due to comparison and contrast.

3. Coaching can help in creating individual goal sheetsaligned to the organizational interest.

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4. A 360 degree feedback system can highlight thefertile ground, where an individual can deliver his or herbest.

A business needs a competent army at every post, andexperienced commanders to be the pillars, in allorganizational vectors. Anything less would cause theroof to fall rapidly.

Pic : blog.commlabindia.com

Collaboration is the key to success, not comparisonor contrast.

Inspiration and research support

People estimate their own abilities based onothers' performance

A Social Comparison Scale

external link(s):1. http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1391130.Shannon_L_Alder2. http://medicalxpress.com/print388212061.html3.https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247166649_A_Social_Comparison_Scale_Psychometric_properties_and_relationship_to_psychopathology

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Why I Choose to be'Inspired', not 'Led'?

Friday 29 July 2016

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My dear friend, Sara Jacobovici (pronouncedYakobovich), inspires and influences me in myriadways.

Last week, she suggested a sequel to the article “WhyLeaders should not Compare & Contrast?”, byhighlighting the value of self-awareness and whatmotivates us, and the significance of the ‘emulation’factor. I was weary of entering the endless discussionson leadership, yet again. But I sure knew, what I wouldchoose to follow or emulate.

A challenging week followed for me, in terms of illhealth, heavy rains and traffic jams all causing the usualsupport systems to fall off.  While I was reading about flushots and the spreading of the ‘influenza’ virus, Sara yetagain, engaged me in another discussion on ‘imposedself vs. authentic self’. Here is what she said, andhonestly, what I found challenging, but inspiring, in thatunwell frame of mind.

“We act on our experience at the behest of theothers, just as we learn how to behave incompliance with them. We are taught what toexperience and what not to experience..."

Are we aware of what drives us?

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• People who have grown up on a particular kind ofdiet, keep rejecting ‘alien’ items, without ever tryingor tasting them. They believe it is their choice.

• Many rituals would fall under the same category. Wehave never paused to question them.

• Schools and organizations do their bit in creating‘moulds that fit’, rather than ‘individuals who mouldthemselves by choice’, or ‘create the moulds’.

A few unfortunate ‘human moulds’ never graduate tobeing ‘individuals’. They take pride in claiming to bealumni/products of a certain institution, religion orpolitical party. But they never realize if they haveadopted a mind-set or lifestyle by choice, or they havebeen adopted by the institution. They just follow, andclash with all others who do not, to propound theunconsciously acquired beliefs.

Do we realize that there are several commercialagencies hired to create social media content, to suit thevested interests of a few? We unquestioningly believethat to be the gospel truth, and keep propagating itfurther. Did it touch a chord somewhere? Yes. It did. Butit also created several new chords that did not existearlier, and which we will keep replaying for the rest ofour lives, or till we awaken to the truth.

• These chords are meant to orient your thinking.

• These chords induce programmed responses.

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• These chords unite people in a manner as the chipsin a computer work together, but in an unprotectedenvironment, without the anti-virus package.

• These chords multiply by copy-pasting, circulatingand implanting mind-sets.

• These chords cause a mob to react, on the call of aninvisible and unknown voice.

And these chords create beautiful music, when theyown both the Voice and Choice. Go ahead, and useyour anti-virus packages.

Detox, Recreate and Make a Choice

I borrow from Sara’s articles once again :

Choice is an act of freedom not to be taken forgranted. Even when all that we are experiencing,internally and externally, has robbed us of ourchoice in the matter, we are always left with onechoice – to choose our response.

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We can love unconditionally because it comes fromus, through us, internal to external process. We arein control of that regardless of the potentialinfluences that we experience in society. It all boilsdown to choice versus control. This means that inspite of being in a conditioned society we have thefreedom to choose to love unconditionally.

If I believe in a concept, or the competence of theperson propagating the concept, I will choose to getinspired and emulate and follow. I do not need a leashto be led. Anything that is not ‘Me’ will not stick for long,hence, I need to know what constitutes ‘Me’, or how do Iwant the future ‘Me’ to look like. That will light up thepath ahead. And that is the only thing that an ‘aspiringleader’ needs to show me to ‘inspire’.

I dedicate this post to Sara Jacobovici on her specialday, today. Thank you for being a companion on theroad to self-discovery! May you be blessed withsuccess, and continue to be the beacon of light forothers!

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When we Blame, we giveour Power Away

Monday 1 August 2016

________________

Greg Anderson has put it so succinctly and beautifully inthe above quote. And yet, do we really comprehend thedepth of the sentence?

I came across a short story by Prashant Sharma onQuora.

A bus full of passengers was on its journey. Suddenlythe weather changed and there was a huge downpourand lightning all around. The passengers saw thatlightning appeared to strike their bus but then it movedahead without hitting the bus.

After two or three such instances, the driver stopped thebus about fifty feet away from a tree and said –

“We have somebody in the bus whose death is acertainty today. Because of that person everybody elsewill also get killed. I want each person to go one-by-oneand touch the tree trunk and come back. Whosoever’sdeath is certain will get caught by the lightning and willdie. But everybody else will be saved”.

They had to force the first person to go and touch thetree and come back. He reluctantly got down from thebus and went and touched the tree. His heart leapedwith joy when nothing happened and he was still alive.

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This continued for the other passengers who were allrelieved when they touched the tree and nothinghappened. When it was the last passenger’s turn,everybody looked at him with accusing eyes. Thispassenger was also very afraid and reluctant.Everybody forced him to get down and go and touch thetree.

With the fear of death, the last passenger walked to thetree and touched it.

There was a huge sound of thunder and the lightningstruck the tree across the street, which fell on the bus,and killed each and every passenger inside the bus.

It was because of the presence of this last passengerthat thus far, the entire bus was safe and lightning couldnot strike !

The Blamers’ Paradise

Why do we keep playing the Blame Game all our life?

1. The Parent inside us

All of us did not have a perfect pair of parents. Maybe,they blamed each other, and the neighbours, thein-laws, their bosses, the service guys and YOU.

Marriage and Motherhood were the causes for yourmother’s not-so-illustrious career, and she wistfullywatched her single or childless colleagues rise up theladder. It was her call of nobility or sainthood toprioritize her family.

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Your father slogged for 18 hours to provide for the familyhe chose to have .

Were you to be blamed for that? And yet, you felt guiltyabout being the cause of their discomfort, and pass it onto your spouse and children.

It is a transfer of guilt, that was never yours.

2. Self-defense

If I don’t slay the dragon, he will kill me. I have securedlow marks in the examination. Immediately, I justify itwith poor results of all my friends, the questions thatwere ‘out of the prescribed curriculum, my poorconcentration after staying awake the previous night tostudy… or whatever our young, fertile imagination couldcook up at that point of time.

Self-defence is an acceptable motive for an act, thatwould otherwise, be classified as a crime. As soon as Ipass the buck, I create a safe zone around myself.

3. Rationalization

My parents, my boss and my friends have all done it atsome point of time, and achieved success.

The cause of my addiction is ……. Stress, this setbackor loss in life, my partner or my boss.

So, what is so wrong about it?

4. Expectation to be mirrored

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And why can’t that other person be more like the idealperson called ‘me’? If the driver in the car ahead drivestoo slow, he is a moron. If he drives too fast, he is amaniac. A difference in lifestyle or a mind-set is almostnever pardoned.

This is Narcissism at its harmful best.

5. Offence is the best defence

Victimization of the adversary is an oft-used strategy inorganizations and politics. Blame him for something,and put him on the defensive. You have effectivelytaken the wind out of his sails, and prevented him fromraising uncomfortable questions.

It is an imposed transfer of accountability.

6. Quest for sympathy

If there is a victim, there has to be a perpetrator ofinjustice . If I gain by playing the victim, I need to createa ‘villain of the piece’. This can be done by framingcharges, making allegations, converting figments ofimagination to credible stories and constructingevidence to support my story.

7. Killing Competition

A scandal is needed to drive the competitor away frommy path to success. This is a common game played bynations, corporates, politicians and family members. Acrisis can be manufactured, to serve as a framework forthe game.

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8. Instant popularity

People love the gossip around a scandal. And this iseffectively, used by attention-seekers to projectthemselves as a leader or ideal human being, as againstthe unfortunate victim.

It is self-projection, by juxtaposition.

Consequences

The Blame Game is an addiction in itself, and aningrained behaviour pattern. It gives

• An instant high.

• A feel-good factor.

• Makes one feel like a paragon of virtue.

• Creates a safety zone.

• Helps in building an image by the stance taken.

• Gives instant relief by transfer of accountability.

On the negative side, it can destroy relationships, createenmity and get the blamer isolated from the mainstream.This further drives the person into despair and misery,leading to a new cycle of the blame game

Brene Brown sums it up in the hilarious video with adeep message – “Blame is a discharge of pain anddiscomfort”.

Brenee Brown on The Blame game

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She says “Accountability is inversely proportional toblame”. How true!

Accountability

Accountability is necessary. The malaise in society,family and workplace needs to be identified, for asolution to emerge. People need to work towardsprevention of the malaise, and it cannot be done withoutaccountability. Since self-discipline and responsibilityare not common traits, accountability needs to bedefined and called for, in case of failure.

Total clarity of roles and accountability is needed forpositive results. The so-called ‘grey or hazy areas’ aredeliberately constructed to prevent self-accountability,and to facilitate the Blame Game.

Escape becomes easier in a haze.

external link(s):1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZWf2_2L2v8

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Just Facilitation, and aLittle More .....

Monday 8 August 2016

________________

THE MILLENIAL MINDSET

My nephew does not care about the college curriculumin Applied Arts, as he has already developed a clientele,after an internship in Graphic Designing. He workspart-time, and maintains that the college text books donot help him in any way. They are just a necessary evilrequired to clear the examination, and get a degree, thatthe family insists on. That is the Millenial Mindset. Theyknow how to go about their lives.

The internet does not necessarily make one smarter,since we are just accessing readymade information, butit does create the illusion of ‘being smart’. And it appliesto all age groups. The impact  of this on analytical andcreative faculties of the brain can be a separate subjectto be discussed. As of now, we have to live with thefacts, and structure cognitive learning processes to suitthe needs.

WHY ?

In the corporate environment, several nuances of theconversation on conference calls go un-recorded. Noheed is paid to the fact that people are multi-tasking –checking mails, logging in a call, replying to messages

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on the phone and communicating with the housekeepingstaff or their one-down, at the same time.

The book “The 5 Languages of Love” by Gary Chapmanhad changed my life a long time ago. The realizationdawned that one person’s expression of love, does notnecessarily meet the other’s expectations. I encounteredthe same problem in a different context, years later. Iprefer the written word or chart in communication, in theform of text messages or mails, but my colleagues werecomfortable with telephonic conversations. The fact thattransmission of information about weekly businessfigures, stretched to a 20-minute long conversation, didnot matter to them. I convinced myself, that they neededto let off steam, and explain why business was rockingor diving. It was also necessary for me to know thecircumstances behind the numbers, and perhaps, a textmessage did not fulfil the requirement.

But, what if I could read the text of their speech on ascreen, and capture the relevant screenshots? It wouldsatisfy my Visual orientation, and the Auditory ofanother. The same applies to learners with differentorientations in a classroom. A judicious mix ofaudio-visual aids, text and illustrative games conveyingthe same point, is used in corporate training programs.

Why not the same in school and college classrooms ?The Management Schools and Creative Arts do applythe techniques liberally, but what about several otherconservative institutions ?

HOW ?

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1. M-learning and E-learning

Learning needs to be customized to suit the learner’sneeds – whether in an educational or corporateenvironment. This includes both the content and themedium. Sufficient choices need to be provided for thesame. The cell phone will remain an important medium,and reduces costs of training considerably. All anemployee needs is a smartphone, with an internetconnection, and the content can be consumedanywhere, anytime, with time gaps in between, if sodesired.

2. Facilitation

The trainer or teacher is only a facilitator and co-learner,who provides constant feedback to the ContentDevelopers for customization and updation of thecurriculum.

3. Gamification

Tablets, phones, phablets or any other new devices tobe introduced will be an integral part of the learningprocess. The learners will be quick in accessing therequired info, or get the required results in an embeddedgame.

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4. NLP Techniques and Multiple Intelligences

The knowledge of Neuro-Linguistic Programming will bean essential and non-negotiable part of an instructionaldesigner’s job. Multiple intelligences will need acustomized feed. And all options will need to beprovided on the same device.

5. Translation Devices

Devices that do a quick translation from voice to text,and vice-versa, with real-time transmission will beneeded.

THEREFORE …. THE CHALLENGES

1. Reconfirmation

Reconfirmations will be imperative, since the intent ofthe message could be lost in the process of translation.

2. Back-ups

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The information needed may be real-time or somethingthat can be saved and seen later, and the requiredmodalities need to be integrated in the work-flow.

The video-footage in security cameras, and informationabout system interruptions is, at times, not availableafter a specified period. It creates uncalled-for hassles inresolving customer complaints, or tracking down aculprit.

3. Safety Training

It may be too much to ask for invincible securitysystems, but a reasonable level of protection againstinformation leakage needs to be ensured. The web isthe most unsafe place for a novice or a child.

4. Legal support

The laws of the land might need a complete overhaul,but is essential to the survival of any semblance ofcivility, in the system.

5. Sensitivity to mutual needs

Orientation to the other person’s preferred style needsto be inculcated in the work culture, to prevent anadverse impact on team effectiveness.

6. A sound value system

However old-fashioned it may sound, there is nothingthat beats a sound value system, to prevent misuse oftechnology.

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Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing thatnobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.

By Oprah Winfrey.

THE CALL

It is not the strongest of the species that survives,nor the most intelligent, but the one mostresponsive to change.

By  Charles Darwin.

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Is Positivity always theAnswer?Thursday 11 August 2016

________________

The morning begins with a steaming cup of coffee, anda positivity message from well-wishers on social media.

This was followed by many more riding on popularwaves and concepts. There is not a single personchallenging the validity of these concepts? A singulareffort draws immediate silence, and a diversion to other‘safe’ topics. It chills my spine, irrespective of thewarmth that envelops me in the bed.

If this is supposed to set the tone for the day, why doesnobody do a recap at the end of the day ?

• “What lessons did you learn during the day ?”

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• “How will you carry the same to the next day ?”

• “ Have you developed a strategy to combat thenegativity around you?”

• “ Are you well equipped to defend your owninterest ?”

And most important of all,

• “Why have the Positive Things not happenedtoday ?”

Because my perception does not alter reality. Chuck thedope.

Life is what happens while you are planning otherthings. What does one need to prepare for ? Theunexpected battles that will need energy and strategy,or miraculous positivity?

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I fully agree that thoughts shape action, and actionshapes our destiny. Hence, we become what we think. Idisagree with the notion that being good and thinkingpositive will attract success and happiness. We cannotafford to remain oblivious of the obstacles and negativityin our path, and hope to be miraculously rewarded forgood Karma.

The proponents of virtue, need to demonstrate successachieved by virtue. Multiple-speak and multiple-think inthe system, has confused and debilitated severalcapable but weak minds.

The child in the Emperor’s story was fearless in callingout the Emperor’s name, since he was oblivious of theconsequences that could befall him. Positivity is neededto overcome the fear, and speak out.

“The Emperor has no clothes”.

I see only Fear in the picture below, neither Grandeurnor Sycophancy.  And Deception by a mastermanipulator, who succeeded in instilling fear of beingsingled out.

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The friend who makes an effort to inject cheer in my life,is not a manipulator. S/he is fearful of being singled outfor being aloof, a non-believer, a spoilsport. And thereare millions who play along, while losing all opportunitiesto Stand Out.

All capable and intelligent people need to be vigilant,against becoming tools in the power games ofmanipulators. The strategies employed by themanipulators (I will not call them leaders) of the system,are designed to suit their own success, by stunting thedevelopment of the mainstream.

Strategy #1 – Keep them busy

It takes a dimwit or an inexperienced child to say ‘TheEmperor has no clothes”. But the dimwit remains adimwit, a short-term hero for his fearless words, and theEmperor remains an Emperor.

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While the Emperor imagines his grand robes, and acustomized wardrobe to house the same, the Devil hasbuilt a designer castle for himself, with the astronomicalamount the Emperor has paid.

People need to remain busy with small battles, smallachievements and small joys. It prevents awareness ofthe total picture, and a consequent uprising andrevolution.

Strategy #2 Keep them dreaming

And better, if in a state of deep REM sleep orsomnambulism. It reduces sensitivity to the web ofcontrol around them.

How many people out there are peddling miracles, fromthe Miracle Godmen to the people promising “5 or 9 or15 secrets to success”, and you emerge from theprogram, just poorer by a few grands? Dreams sell, anddream-weavers are the richest segments of society.

Strategy #3 Keep them working

How often have we heard the words “I hear a lot of goodthings about you. Keep up the good work” in the powercorridors, with a friendly pat on the shoulder ? Why dothe powerful never bother to back it up with theirfirst-hand opinions, or awareness of yourachievements ? While you remain in your euphoria,busy with good work to strengthen the base of thepyramid, the smart strategist has climbed up to thepeak.

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You were never supposed to know what was happeningup there, in the rarefied atmosphere. The worker beesare needed to build the hive, while the Queen feeds onRoyal jelly, and expands her empire.

Strategy #4 Keep them feeling guilty

Unachievable standards of perfection are set. Can yoube a selfless God, who sacrificed all for the benefit of hisfellow-beings ? It keeps you feeling inadequate, and toosmall to question the selfish acts of others.

Move the goalposts frequently, change timeframes, soyou never gain satisfaction of having reachedsomewhere. Your achievements are denigrated,because that ‘something else’ was not achieved. Whohas not experienced this in annual performanceappraisals ? Or in being the parent who has beensqueezed out of the last penny, by a selfish and errantoffspring ?

Strategy #5 Keep them intoxicated

The opium of Religion, Political loyalty, drugs all keepyou safely inoculated against Awareness. What youdon’t know cannot hurt you. What you don’t knowcannot be questioned. What you don’t know does notdepress or demotivate you. People who do not expendeffort to understand, remain a loyal and subservientworkforce to the masters.

And you travel through this lifetime, happy and sedated.

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This is your PhoneSpeaking -- ABOUT YOU

Wednesday 24 August 2016

________________

“My phone died on me…….”

I hear a horrified statement from an executive, whosounded as if he was marooned on an island with nohelp in sight. Power banks, one-minute chargers haveall been invented to prevent these shocking ‘deaths’,that throws a sane person totally out of gear. Sure, thereis an ancient relic on the desk, called the ‘landline’,which draws power from an electrical point, but whatabout the numbers, the messages, the webconnectivity? Anyway  ….

The cell-phone is a fundamental need, at the base of thepyramid of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. But, what youlike doing with it, gives away a lot about your personalitytraits. Be Aware !

1. The Web-Surfing Addicts

I confess to being one of them. Long telephone calls areconsidered to be a disturbance, which keep them awayfrom the web or apps, or whatever catches their internetfancy. Also, a written message makes far more sense,than a long conversation.

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2. The Compulsive Callers

They just need to speak to say whatever they have inmind, and at a time convenient to them. Messaging andemail platforms are considered to be inadequate forumsfor expression. They may be too lazy to type, or thinkthat it takes too much time.

There may be a lurking fear of commitment, or of puttingthings in black and white. It is easier to retract a spokenword. The internet does not forget anything, even if it isa deleted message.

You might catch yourself stuttering to get across, withgreat difficulty

“But…. Please, Can I call you back later ? I am in themidst of something”.

They do not give you the space to speak.

3. The Control Freaks82

The phone is always in silent mode. They do not takecalls even if they are free, and reserve the right to returnthe calls as per their choice and convenience. Themessage is ‘You would better know who is the boss outhere…. ’

4. The Stuffed Shirts

One often hears them saying

‘ ASK HIM TO CALL ME.’

When the other person does, the ubiquitous reply is

‘ I am busy now. Call me after half an hour.’

Then, they address the person facing them,

‘Oh! So-and-so (name dropped) has been trying tospeak to me for hours. I have just been tied up somuch.’

And so on ….

Only people crawling on their knees to talk, can satisfytheir bloated egos (or fill up the massive emptinessinside). All others prefer sending a mail or message,rather than speak to these pompous perverts.

5. The Trumpet-Blowers

They pick up the phone, and take off on a self-glorifyingspree, as soon as they spot an unsuspecting victim, inthe vicinity. Their business achievements, details of theirnet worth, the power and popularity they enjoy, theluxurious lifestyle and latest conquests are all flaunted,

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while the hapless listener waits to start the actualconversation.

You may not be surprised to discover that there wasnobody at the other end. And the Trumpet-Blower doesnot realize that only his/her hollowness has beenexposed.

6. The Bull Horns

The volume of their conversation is loud enough for halfthe office to hear, and only God knows why they need topace up and down the corridor, while doing that.

Their power battles and kids’ howlers are all laid out forpublic consumption.

'That was a very interesting cell phone conversation.Thanks for sharing it with me.'

7. The Annoying Attendees

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These are the obnoxious participants in conferencecalls. They forget to press the ‘Mute’ button beforetaking a call on the cell, or ‘accidentally’ put the entirecall on hold and go out for a walk.

I have seen a top executive taking his aunt’s call toenquire about his welfare, in between a call, where hewas introducing a new incentive scheme. If you happento be on a social media website, or care to check thetime later, you find some of them ‘liking’ girlie pics, whilethe call is in progress.

‘Who cares about conference calls? They take up morethan half of your office hours’ is the implicit message.

8. The Escapists

They call you for a discussion, and then, refuse to taketheir eyes off the bewitching LCD screen. They walkthrough hallways and sidewalks with hunchedshoulders, averting eye contact with any human being ina physical shape. The virtual people are always a saferbet.

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9. Text Messages Only

I came across a rant from a consultant this morning,whose client responded as follows :

‘Sorry, I did not hear the ring. Actually, you are the onlyone who calls me’.

The consultant confessed to feeling as old as theEgyptian Pyramids, and just managed to mumble,

‘No worries. It was just to inform that I am on my way tosee you’.

This was perhaps a clash between two personalitytypes.

10. The Well-Mannered

This is the only agreeable species.

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They do not take calls between a conversation, exceptwith an “Excuse me, this is urgent’ , and then keep it asshort as possible.

If they are busy, they return calls with a ‘In a meeting.Will call you later’ message, and then, actually call back.

They respond to all messages, whether it is an ‘Okay’ toacknowledge receipt, or the expected action to be taken.

They close the door before embarking on a private orsensitive conversation.

They inform the person at the other end that s/he is onspeakerphone, and who else is on the call, beforeswitching it on.

So, hold that thing tight in your palm. Lest it spills out allthe beans.

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ProfessionalismSunday 13 November 2016

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Professionalism is very simply defined as ‘thecompetence or skill expected of a professional’.

A rather long-winded one comes from a website forsmall business ,

“Professionalism is often defined as the strictadherence to courtesy, honesty and responsibilitywhen dealing with individuals or other companies inthe business environment. This trait often includesa high level of excellence going above and beyondbasic requirements. Work ethic is usually concernedwith the the personal values demonstrated bybusiness owners or entrepreneurs and instilled inthe company’s employees. The good work ethic mayinclude completing tasks in a timely manner withthe highest quality possible and taking pride incompleted tasks"

However, this one includes a work ethic on the part ofboth employers and the employees, as an integral partof professionalism.Certain apex professionalorganizations for doctors, chartered accountants,company secretaries etc. have defined and laid downthe norms for the community, and created accountabilitybased on it. However, ethics and professionalism in acorporate are hugely interdependent, and raises manyquestions on  implementability.

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Independent employee-centric behaviour

• Professional dress and etiquette

• Courtesy

• Punctuality

• Excellence

• Competency

• Compartmentalization of work responsibilities andleisure activities.

Dependent behavior pattern

1. Fairness  in employee elevations and allocation ofassignments

To what extent does the boss’s boss interfere with thesedecisions?

2. Professional decision-making

Not possible in absence of support from the top.

3. Non-indulgence in gossip

Clear differentiation between grapevine sensitivity,market intelligence and gossip. Employees areencouraged to act as informers or implants.

4. Respect for experience and expertise

Blatant favoritism kills this.

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5. Respect for others’ rights

Demonstration needed from the top .

Organizational culture that spawnsun-professionalism

• Display of tolerance and encouragement fornon-professional behaviour will serve inre-inforcement of the same. e.g. A favored coteriebeing allowed to indulge in undesirable behavior.

2. Display of unprofessional behavior by the topmanagement e.g. business being run as personalfiefdoms, success achieved by pyrotechnic energy oftyrannical  individuals, management discretion being theeuphemism for favoritism and unethical practices.

3. Lack of integrity Integrity is about thought, speechand action being in sync. Multiple-speak at differenttimes and on different platforms does not escape theemployees’ attention.

4. Use of Foul language starting from the top.

5. Tolerance of Sexual harassment/ womanizing  atthe work-place

Tolerance equals encouragement in this case, and hasa multiplier effect.

6. Corridor declarations This is used as a semi-officialindicator of the power structure, and can discourageseveral other quiet but capable aspirants.

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The million-dollar question is

Can professionalism be a one-way street?

• If the response of a boss to work-related matters isbased on extraneous factors, how do you expect theemployee to remain professional?

• If a capable and honest employee has beenrepeatedly let down for non-professional reasons,what is the response expected?

• If lobbying is used as a strategy for businessdomination or sharing the spoils, how does theaverage employee act or react?

• If no-reply is an accepted form of declining a request,for how long does an employee wait, or how doess/he know the reason for rejection?

• If internal conflicts are built in the system, with aDivide-and-Rule intention, how do members ofdifferent teams respond to each other?

• If people are repeatedly treated as being ‘too small inthe system‘ to influence decision-making, how is anypositive contribution expected in future?

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external link(s):1. http://smallbusiness.chron.com/importance-professionalism-business-2905.html

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The Important Thing isnot to Stop Questioning

Sunday 27 November 2016

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So said Albert Einstein, and here is some more wisdomthat I can propagate.

Hope locates itself in the premises that we don’tknow what will happen, and that in thespaciousness of uncertainty is room to act. Whenyou recognize uncertainty, you recognize that youmay be able to influence the outcomes — you aloneor you in concert with a few dozen or several millionothers. Hope is an embrace of the unknown and theunknowable, an alternative to the certainty of bothoptimists and pessimists. Optimists think it will allbe fine without our involvement; pessimists take theopposite position; both excuse themselves fromacting. It’s the belief that what we do matters eventhough how and when it may matter, who and whatit may impact, are not things we can knowbeforehand. We may not, in fact, know themafterward either, but they matter all the same, andhistory is full of people whose influence was mostpowerful after they were gone.

Rebecca Solnit

Loyalty is an alignment with another, and its virtueshave been extolled as the glue that holds togetherorganizations and relationships. Unquestioning loyalty is

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another matter. The glue that holds it is a hope of beingthe future benefactor of privileges and a partner in thespoils, or a fear of repercussions. The room to act issubject to terms and conditions.

Timothy Keiningham and Lerzan Aksoy, in their book“Why Loyalty Matters’ have listed the 10 componentsthat build the loyalty mindset:

• Leadership

I can carry people with me.

2. Reliance

They will take care of me.

3. Empathy

I know what it is like, to be in their shoes.

4. Security

One needs a network to survive.

5. Calculative-ness

Standing by them will help me gain ……

6. Connectedness

I am a social animal, and need clusters to live in.

7. Independence

This alignment protects me from being a slave toanother.

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8. Traditionalism

There is safety in continuity and consistency.

9. Emotion-focused coping

I will share.

10. Problem-based coping

I will analyse with logic and reason.

I presume that Hope precedes these 10, and Actionfollows, as both do not figure in the list. Nor do Analysisand Discretion, but I desperately hope, that they liebehind each of the ten mind-sets. The beauty of havinga perspective, is that like the ten blind men, one neversees the whole elephant in the room.

My pet biases:

• Only the first and last make sense, as theyencompass the meaning of informed Action.

• The first depends on the last, as leadership buildsHope by using Informed Choice.

SOCIAL (MEDIA) RESPONSIBILITY

The absence of education hinders the process of making a choice based on logic, though everybody has a rationale for doing something. Television content is an influencer, but we have practically no control on that. Switching of channels might be the only choice that an individual can exercise. Social media content is more of an influencer, as the messenger is someone you know

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and can connect with. Shareability on multiple platformsmultiplies your power to influence. Of course, there arethe opposing and competing voices. You slog to findand circulate content to prove your point, andexponentially increase the noise.

If your loyalty and alignment are based on assuredpotential gains , I wish you all the best. The onus ofself-defence is on the recipient. However, if that is notthe case, think before you post or push. When weblindly forward an unverified post, or endorse messageswith an emoticon, we contribute to creating a belief.Belief turns into loyalty and action, which may not bebased on verifiable facts. Do we really need to take anobstinate stance, alienate people we have known forages and divide our social groups into camps, forreturns that are not assured?

Why not refuse to manipulate or be manipulated?

"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance,it is the illusion of knowledge."

- Daniel J. Boorstin

You are currently being deceived

Social media manipulate

external link(s):1. http://conversionxl.com/online-manipulation-all-the-ways-youre-currently-being-deceived/2. http://illusionofmore.com/social-media-manipulate/

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Self Esteem is notEnough

Thursday 29 September 2016

________________

Being naïve was the bane of my professional life in thebeginning. And being aware continues to be an educatorin the more enlightened years.

I have recently witnessed the fall of three public figures,whom I initially considered as game changers.

THE INDEPENDENT GOVERNOR

One was the governor of the central bank of the country.His competence was unquestionable, ethics laudableand courage unparalleled. He valued his independence,and fought for his rights to keep it. He targeted inflation,and launched a drive to clean up balance sheets ofbanks, by bringing out the concealed weaknesses andaddressing them. He was called the Rockstar Governor,due to his popularity amongst the masses.

However, his candour in calling a spade a spade, wasnot found to be politically correct.  The high profile loandefaulters in the banking system, saw a threat to theirsecurity. The backlash started with a discreet smearcampaign. Articles which started with lauding hisachievements, moving on to point out minor failures,and disapproving of his personal communication style,were steadily released in the media. Then, came astrong, slanderous attack from a fellow

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economist-turned politician, who questioned theGovernor’s foreign education and understanding of thenational scenario. Strong individuals do have a highsense of self-respect, and he reacted …. by quitting thegovernor’s post. He presented his side of the story inpublic, but it was too late.

And his admirers did not hold power.

He was replaced by an economist, with a low publicprofile. That ensured the freedom of the political bossesto do what they like.

STARTUP ENTHUSIAST

A brilliant guy dropped out of a premier educationalinstitution, to set up his business, and managed tosecure a high level of funding. He was hailed as thehero of the millennial population, and the future of thecountry. His intellectual brilliance was never questionedby anyone. He distributed a large chunk of his sharesamongst the employees, to the people who contributedto the company.

But, alas and once again, his candour invited the ire ofbullies. He had the gumption to say that the boardmembers could not equal his brilliance, or understandwhat he says. He was chucked out unceremoniously,after a public slander campaign.

Immaturity, ineptness, impractical approach …. Or justplain COURAGE.

THE ‘NON-POLITICIAN’ CHIEF MINISTER

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A civil servant quit the Indian Revenue Service, becausehe could not gel with the corrupt system. He ran a NGO,won the Magsaysay Award, and turned into a HumanRights Activist. He led a national anti-corruptioncampaign, and was catapulted to the position of anational icon for clean governance. He believed that hecould clean up the political system, by entering it, andwas elected as the Chief Minister of a Union Territorywith an overwhelming majority.

People did want clean governance, but not the rest ofthe political system. He was a whistleblower, and poseda threat to top level politicians. Again, the mafia sprungin action. Sting operations, frame-ups, negativepublicity, legal challenges, political manipulations andextreme negativity from his boss – the Lt. Governor ofthe Union Territory, turned him into a wreck. A specialcell works only to undermine him. And trolls are the bestweapon that bullies have. They work without knowingwhat or whom are they working for. Maybe, it gives thema high. Maybe, they use it to vent their pent-upfrustrations on other issues. They do succeed inreleasing an enormous amount of negativity in thesystem.

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His bane was his inability to find clean and like-mindedcolleagues in the political system, and lack of politicalmaturity. The battle has not ended, but the system hassucceeded in breaking down a honest person, bycompressing him from all sides.

NOBODY LIKES A REBEL

People worship the rising sun, and ironically, the victimsfollow the perpetrators. They believe that they arechoosing the ‘safer evil’, due to the power they hold.

A whistle-blower in the banking sector has this to sayabout his experience:

“Well, they did not fire me a blessed day. They retaliatedagainst me in every imaginary way possible. Butsometimes you have to deal with your conscience. I said‘No’ to play to market, ‘No’ to play to insider trading.Consequently, in a 35-year career, for the first time, Iwas unemployed.”

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MY PERSONAL STORY

Ethics and idealism was a choice that I made, and I willcontinue to live by that. But it has not served me well.We console ourselves by thinking of the goodwillgenerated, and the people who look up to you. They arearound, but unable to help, when you need support. Just for the fact, that people who admire idealism arestruggling with their own lives, and need similar support.Law, politics or business do not provide for structuresthat provide this kind of support. The so-called supportnetworks provide a good service, but do not wield poweror influence in the system.

And this is where the Bully wins!

LEARN FROM THE BULLIES

What does the bully do, that we cannot or choose not todo?

• Create sustained pressure.

• Keep people on the defensive. They lose their powerto offend.

• Use exclusion as a psychological weapon.

• Divide and rule.

• Stoop to a level, where the honest cannot reach.They have high standards.

• Strengthen mutual bonds within the bully network.

• Cut off aid and help from all sides.101

• Drive the victim against a wall.

• Influence public opinion with a malicious slandercampaign.

Evil, corruption, manipulation and crime are thestrongest glue to create impenetrable networks. Oneweak link can expose everyone else, and hence, theyalways support each other, in their own interest. Thebully wins because law, economics, politics andbusiness do not challenge him. They are extremenarcissists or extremely insecure individuals.

The intellectuals and idealists are fiercely independentpeople, who live in ivory towers, and believe that they donot need support.

Do we realize that we need to support each other, toserve our long-term self-interest, even if there is noshort term gain? Or are we taking a stand that theFuture is not our business? It is okay to leave it in thehands of Bullies.

THE MYTH OF POSITIVITY

No. Self-confidence and self-esteem will not help you todefeat the bullies.

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A strategic plan, a sustained initiative, a combat force inaction and world-wide initiatives are needed.

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Why should CoachingStart Early?

Sunday 11 December 2016

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B eing at home indicates a level of comfort, not abrick-and-mortar structure that provides shelter.

I love to be with like-minded people, who share myperspectives, or at least, do not disparage me.

I love the warmth of acceptance and easy camaraderie.

I love floating on similar wavelengths,running/swimming/flying/net-surfing to catch others, andhave others follow me.

The ground that I run on, the waters that I swim in, thewinds that help me fly expose me to several otherworlds.

I will always work for the cause of the Homeless, as Ihave never had a Home.

Well, this is a creative piece with a strong metaphorrunning through it.

REALITY IS SIMPLER THAN THAT

• The ecosystems that I operate in, and the virtualdomains that I skim through in a day, are my conceptof home.

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• I am a global citizen, with internationalcommunication, being a part of my daily routine.

• Virtual reality and Augmented Reality might take mylife and thoughts to a different level.

• My identity is defined by my digital signatures -- userids and passwords. Biometrics are my last link to thephysical world.

• Boundary lines extend and expand a little moreevery day, to accommodate my imagination andambition.

HOW DOES IT IMPACT LEARNING?

• Learning happens all the time, and through multiplemediums.

• Learning is a self-driven activity. I only needfacilitators.

• Information is being thrown at me all the time, and Ipick and choose from available information.

• But this information is also structured, tailored andmanipulated, yet, it constitutes my reality.

How will I see things from your perspective?

HOW DOES IT IMPACT COACHING AND TRAINING?

While it is generally agreed, that video-based tutorials,gamification and mobile learning are the way to go, thecontent strategy needs to be specific to job or studyneeds.

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The content should be available online, and just-in-time,as a search engine is the first avenue that we approachfor help.

• Content should be relateable to the trainee’s world,and in bite-sized modules, to retain attention.

• Virtual reality and Augmented Reality will be themedium, not the message.

• Classroom training will be an assortment of gamesand activities. Pedagogy will be eliminated.

• The context will need to be created in the worksituation, for a concept to sink in.

• Content will need to be updated frequently, hence,the technology should be flexible enough to allowthat.

• Artificial intelligence can be used to create simulatedenvironments to facilitate learning.

• Trainers will exist at the back-end, designing contentand the user interfaces.

CHALLENGES

1. Emotional Intelligence

The challenge of designing will lie in traversing the pathfrom perception to emotion to logic, in a short span oftime. Emotions are the sandwich layer between stimulusand action, and will need to be leveraged accordingly.

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The Scientific American video gives an interestingillustration.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8s5jx5paV4

2. Managing Contradictions in Information

Contradictory facts will emerge quickly. Peer groupinformation has a higher impact. A central logic likeguidelines from regulatory bodies, or research-backedevidence needs to be used at industry level. Theapplications can be user-specific.

3. Managing Contradictions in Human Behavior

Human behavior has always had inherentcontradictions, like developing a rationale to justifyactions that suit the self, but defy a larger logic. This isoften seen in the behavior related to health orenvironmental issues. A conflict might exist betweenloyalty to the organization or profession or the Boss. Thebarrage of motivated content, and edited highlights ofincidents and statements tend to prevent a holistic view.

WILL COACHING AND MENTORING HELP?

Yes. Coaching needs to start early in life, as it helps inconnecting various parts of a whole, and developing astronger sense of self. The people who go through thisprocess, are less malleable, and better prepared to faceeventualities with confidence.

A mentor can keep them grounded, and help themrelate to the reality around them, having been through

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the grind earlier. A mentor can override the influence ofthe peer group, with the tangible benefits that theengagement provides.

Mentoring is an essential follow-up to coaching, toensure retention and application of learning. A mentordoes not walk in the mentee’s shoes. S/he has beenthrough a separate growth process, in a different set ofcircumstances. Yet, the mentor is the most importantlink between the past and present, for the mentee. Thelinkages between cause-and-effect, and the universalityof this phenomenon (if clearly visible in the mentor’sexperience), lends credibility to the learning. The mentoris a live simulation to help understanding, and facilitatesabsorption of learning.

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How Value-Neutral is theconcept of Power?

Wednesday 21 December 2016

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WHAT IS POWER?

The dictionary defines power as the

‘ability or capacity to do something in a particularway’.

Going by this, every living being possesses power ofsome kind.

• Physical power

• Knowledge power

• Power of hierarchy

• Special abilities either gifted by nature, or developedwith meditation. These are often termed assupernatural powers. Actually, they might arise fromawakening of certain parts of the brain, which aredormant in the majority of living beings.

• Power of wealth

• Power of information

• Power of research

• Power of a certain approach

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• Power of experience

• Power of creativity

The comparatives drawn converted power to a sense ofsuperiority over others. The definition then shifts to

‘the ability to do something better than others’.

It leaves each person free to develop and use theirpower in the social structure that they live in.

INTENT AND APPLICATION OF POWER

How do people intend to use their power? Power is usedfor self-defence by both animals and human beings, andit can be justified on the grounds, that self-preservationis the first instinct of life. Power is also used to protectand defend the weak.

I had the pleasure of bringing up three beautiful kittensin my house for 5 months, as their mother deemed it tobe a safe place. We watched her training the babies tojump, climb trees and perform several other actions. Oncertain nights, she would bring a rat in her mouth, andcall out with a different sound. Not wanting a dead rat tobe devoured on the living room carpet, we never openedthe door. As they grew up, the neighbors in the buildingstarted complaining of the ruckus the hyperactive triocreated. The mother had given birth to another brood,and had lost interest in this trio. We sent them to afriend’s farm house, where they could grow up in openspaces. They had to be sedated and packed in a

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basket, before they were driven off. It was aheart-wrenching use of power.

The first night saw them frightened and huddledtogether, as they saw the last familiar figure of the driverdisappear from the farm. Their bed and meal-bowlswere all sent with them. On the next morning, the friendwho owned the farmhouse, found a dead rat on thewindow sill. Their natural instincts had taken over, andthey managed to kill the rat. But they had carefullyplaced it out of way, not knowing that this is a meal.Meals for them, were served in a bowl. We hadinterfered with their life-skill learning process, by notletting their mother in, on those nights. The separationwas traumatic for me, and I still nurse a feeling of guilton having let them go. My husband maintains that weacted in their best interest, by giving them a betterhabitat to grow and live in.

Here, creeps in the question of Intent. And situations arefar more complex than the story of my kittens.

• Is it for the greater good of the world?

• Is it in line with the principles of Human Rightsand Animal Rights?

When is Power deemed to corrupt? It starts when theintent and application are not determined by the largergood of the larger section of life in the world. Powerused for aggrandisement of personal gains may beacceptable, as long as it does not hurt the interest ofanother.

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A conflict of interest is where Power startsassuming a negative form, and the concept ofValues comes in. It is actually the Intent andApplication of Power that generate controversies,not the concept of Power on its own.

VALUE-NEUTRALITY OF POWER

‘Values are principles or standards of behavior;one's judgement of what is important in life.’

Judgement is a subjective matter, hence, cannot bealways assumed to align to the highest standard ofethics.

Value neutrality does not imply not having a personalvalue system. It just implies the non-application of apersonal approach, to a larger platform. It is oftendiscussed in the context of social sciences, politics andscientific research.

The principle of ‘larger good of humanity or living beings’is a value, which leads us to infer that application ofPower needs to be held in check. Else, the actions arelikely to be guided by ‘larger interest of those who holdPower’.

A value has been applied. The application of power,thus, cannot be value-neutral.

Power, merely, treated as a physical or sublime forcethat can move something, is not subject to values,unless, it is wielded by a human being.

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To Merge, Rebel or StandOut ?

Monday 20 June 2016

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‘Blending in’ as opposed to ‘Standing Out’ has been  atopic of long-standing debate. We PREFER to blend in,but LOVE to stand out. The Personal Branding Industrythrives on the concept of ‘standing out’. A sales pitchsucceeds or fails at the altar of “Unique SellingProposition”? Being Unique is fine, but do you also fill ina slot that the market needs? The pointers movetowards striking a balance between the two, rather thanchoosing one option over another.

How much do you blend in, and how much do you standout ? To what extent does your identity depend on theframework of society, and to what extent are you anindestructible unit called the Individual ? Can a rebel bedescribed as a destabilizing ‘free radical’, or a carrier ofchange ?

• Submerging identity

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2. Maintaining a slight edge

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3. Creating a slot to stand out

4. Thought Leadership

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Crossroads are dividers, whereas intersections areconnectors. The final shape depends on theintegration of the various elements.

CROSSROADS ARE DIVIDERS

These are indicative personality types, which do notalways move in a linear pattern. Various stages couldoverlap, or a different  ‘cause and effect’ pattern could

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have a disruptive impact. It could result in a positiverevolution or a borderline personality disorder. This is anopinion based on observation and analysis, not a resultof research.

• Followers

These are the lethargic sections of the population, whodo not exert, or exhort themselves to think. They choosethe easiest option of ‘following the beaten path’.

2.  Conformists

They prefer the security of belonging to the majority.These are people of reasonable to high intelligence,who believe that all progress happens within theconfines of acceptable social norms, and rebellion is thepath to destruction.

3. Discretionary Thinkers

They observe, analyse, conclude and then, choose apath of action. The chosen path could be based onexpediency, convenience, perceived advantages, valuesor beliefs. But  a thought process precedes all action.

4. Thinker/Leader/Innovator

Thought leaders are born at this stage, as they movefrom perception to conception, and then, find productiveapplications for their ideas.

A negative experience at Stage 3 or 4 can alter thethought process or the personality structure.  Capabilityand positive traits which are not rewarded, lead to

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discontent and unrest. Attempts by the power structureto suppress the voice of sanity, sow the seed ofrebellion. This could be an individual, or group of peopleacross an organization or geography. People  with asimilar thought process, common voice or sharedinterests bond to create a common platform.  This couldgo on to create a revolution, or fizzle out. The right time,socio-economic and political forces all create the soil forthe rise or fall of a rebellion. Hence, ideas and conceptsare often described as premature, rather than irrelevantor impossible.

Vested interests could also invoke mob reactions tostage a pseudo-rebellion, but that is beyond the purviewof this piece.

INTERSECTIONS ARE CONNECTORS

Intersections are meeting points or shared spaces. Theyassume meaning depending on the degree ofdivergence or convergence generated between varyingviewpoints.

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This is the point in the thought process, that shapes apersonality. One should be able to entertain andexamine other views, without accepting them. Leadership of any style stems from this point.

In order to exist, man must rebel, but rebellion mustrespect the limits that it discovers in itself - limitswhere minds meet, and in meeting, begin to exist.

-----  By Albert Camus

A beautiful quote from an unknown source :

We shape our buildings. Thereafter they shape us.

And the resultant structure is called Personality.

external link(s):1.http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/albertcamu588237.html?src=t_rebel2. http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/albert_camus.html

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Junk the Pride to De-junkyour LifeWednesday 22 June 2016

________________

De-cluttering, De-toxification, Re-organization are theterms we so routinely come across, in our initiatives forimprovements in the house, wardrobe, mailbox, memorycards, mind or soul. And yet, we never really reach theZen state. If we do, we tire of it soon enough, and moveback to a cluttered existence.

Back in our childhood days, we owned very littlecompared to our family members, and took pride incollecting stones, marbles, crayons, broken dolls andwheels, whatever caught our fancy. Soon enough, wecompared them with what our peer group owned, anddeveloped a pride in our belongings. The humblebelongings were gradually replaced with finer and betterstuff, but we mentally, we never really grew up. Thedrive to hoard remained the same. Not realizing that ifwe hoard the Old, we are unable to create space for theNew.

This applies to furniture, wardrobes, art collections,thought processes, emotions, behaviour patterns andeverything that we call a ‘habit’. For sure, we cannotthrow out the baby with the bathwater.

The most horrifying examples that one comes acrossare those of victims of domestic violence, or theirdaughters who choose similar partners again. This

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happens because we cannot have, say 40% or 60% of aperson. The partner needs to be accepted as a packagedeal. There was something about the perpetrator thatthe victim had once liked, and s/he is unable to give itup.  They never come out of the loop, unless they cangather the courage to give up certain things that wereonce addictive or attractive.

De-junking is a thought process that involves thefollowing :

• Decide what you value .

The values of integrity or the ambition to be rich thatyour parents instilled in you, that classic mink coat, thejewels with a money tag, the blue-chip stocks that youown. They create your financial and emotional security,and will be your companions for a lifetime. You canalways fall back on them, when in need. Treasure themand keep it with utmost care.

Beauty is but the sensible image of the Infinite. Liketruth and justice, it lives within us. Like virtue andthe moral law, it is a companion of the soul –George Bancroft.

• Prioritize whatever you value .

These are personal choices and needs, that changefrom time to time. How do you organize your storagespace ? Accessibility in order of priority, is the principleto be applied. The negative experience can be pushedback, if it is a life lesson that you learnt, or can push you

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to future achievements. They remain an invisible drivingforce, the support system that runs the showroom.

The companion for an evening, and the companionfor a lifetime require very different qualifications –Samuel Richardson.

3. Dispose the items of least value.

Can you find a taker for them ? The beggar on thepavement who needs a blanket, somebody who canrecycle garments for their use, a protégé or progenywho benefits from your experience and advice, a bookor diary to record your experience, a club where youshare your life stories.  It all works – to get it out of yoursystem.

Giving is not just about charity, it is about findinganother user.

• Bring in the new.

You are now wise enough to recognize if the new itemshave long-term or short-term value, and what should bethe proportion of money or effort expended on that. The‘older you’ can dress well with a few classic pieces.Balance sheets are ephemeral, organizational culturehas a longer lifespan. You don’t need to watch everynew movie or TV show to keep up with your peer group.Learn new skills, read about new concepts that fit yourpresent mental make-up. The brain has a limitedmemory. The fairy tales need to be replaced by newphilosophies and concepts.

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A Zen mind is a beginner’s mind that keeps youyoung forever.

• Create heirlooms.

Your beach house, the limousine, the book that youwrite, the organizational/social/political culture that youbuild, the trends that you set need all your effort andskills.

This is what will justify your existence, not what youcollected, took pride in and disposed .

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THINKING MAPS

The Four Levels ofInfluence

Monday 20 June 2016

________________

The biggest disappointment in life is to make anappeal to the highest level of consciousness orvalues in another individual, and discovernon-existence of the same.

The Art of Influencing Others has been celebrated inrealms of psychology, and covered enormous reams ofpaper, to establish theories of leadership, teaching,sales, change management and reforms. Yet, very littlehas been said about the extent to which the recipientopens up the self, to get influenced. A lot of effort isexpended in creating content and plans to influence,without creating receptivity for the same.

• The Superficial Layer

This is the outermost layer of consciousness, which justreacts at the first touch point. The emotion could beawe, admiration, appreciation, horror or repulsion.

An appeal to this layer can be used to trigger

• Likes on Instagram and Facebook

• Impulse buying

• Immediate Consumption

• Competitive indulgence126

• Quick show of hands on a controversial issue

• Quick sign-up

There is no analysis or reflection involved, and theinduced behaviour is not sustainable. The individual canwithdraw consent, switch sides or change views.

2. The Reflective Layer

This is the level at which the analytical and reflectivemind comes into the picture. The individual correlatesthings with previous experience, compares, juxtaposesand arrives at a conclusion. This behaviour is inalignment with individual likes and dislikes, and iscomparatively more sustainable.

The individual continues to be influenced by the externalenvironment. They define themselves in terms of theirwealth, social status, professional and businessachievements. They carry the influence of their parents,bosses and mentors. The self is not yet identified, andthe external environment can be used to manipulatechoices.

An appeal to this part of the mind triggers lifestyle andcareer choices.

• Choice of travel destinations

• Choice of clubs

• Career-enhancing moves, which may involve achange of location or stream.

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• Indulgence in hobbies that enhance the social circle

• Marriage, rather than dating.

• Starting a family

• Owning houses and classy vehicles

3. The Established Identity  Layer

Unfortunately, this layer is discovered after facingdisappointment and setbacks in life. The choices madeat the first two levels have failed to deliver. Theindividual looks inwards, and decides that the choicesmade were not as per his core identity, his real self. Heknows who he really is.

At this stage, the person derives pleasure from givingrather than receiving, consuming knowledge rather thanmaterial things, aligns his actions to who he wants to be,chooses stuff that is compatible with his core identity.The thoughts and emotions are examined, and changedto suit the needs of his enhanced sense of self.

The choices made are long-lasting, now, asconsumption has been internalized. One looks forwardto enriching and enhancing the self, not just satisfyingan impulse.

Selling to an individual at this stage becomes more andmore difficult. They just need to be informed about thevarious options available, and they make their ownchoices. The only thing that one can push is information.

4.  The Core Individual

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This is the spiritual level of existence. One eats onlywhat is needed for a healthy body, spends time inmeditation and thinking, and engages in acts of service.The vocation or profession has to be in alignment withthese needs. They are closer to the state of being, thanactive living and changing.

Selling is impossible, as the individual had ceased to bea buyer. The individual will move out of his zone, to findwhatever is needed for sustenance or service, and willacquire it at the lowest cost. They will seek out thesupplier, not the seller, in times of need.

The products for this segment of the population are soldto the children, healthcare centres, old age havens andNGOs looking after them, rather than directly to theconsumer.

The Stages Beyond

Various thinkers and authors have defined 7 to 10 levelsof consciousness. But the individual moves more andmore towards being a spiritual being, being Energy andbeing a Giver, rather than being Matter or a Consumer.

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He is totally beyond the realms of Influence, as theconcept is popularly known. They have moved over tobeing Influencers by Example, and connectivity to theworld has moved to a different level altogether.

The four levels of existence, at which an individualcan/cannot be influenced,  broadly, superimposes onthe Maslow’s hierarchy. This is except for a certaindegree of co-existence between the layers now. Thefigure depicted on the cover, is not a pyramid, notconcentric circles, but ellipses that touch each other at apoint. They do not have a sharp line that demarcates.The flow of energy from one level to another can createshifts in behaviour patterns. The resultant patternscomprise the exceptional layer, which often characterizethe protagonists in literature and other forms of creativefiction.

I often baulk at the efforts a bright and well-trainedsalesperson, to sell me a product, which is eithersubstandard, not needed or unaffordable. Thesalesperson has failed to identify the range in which Ifunction, and hence, chooses to waste time on me.Browsing online firmly places the choice at the click ofthe mouse, and gives me a sense of being in control.

The same applies to a website, blog, book, movie or anyother product. Maybe, augmented reality is an effort toenter this zone of user-orientation and user control.

I look forward to the experience.

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6 steps away fromyourselfSaturday 23 July 2016

________________

It feels like an eerie shot from a paranormal movie. Istand back, and watch myself. I see myself working inthe much-desired state of Flow. The theme occurred tome in a split second, and then, a force took over. I donot know what is driving me, but I keep clicking themouse, and banging the keyboard. Maybe, theincoherence of thought shows in the final product.Maybe, the clarity attained illuminates the piece. Icouldn’t care less.

Meditation, awakening of the spirit, and enlightenmenthave all been bombastic words, associated with theYogis and intellectuals. The small and insignificant medid not think about making an effort in that direction. And yet, it just took a few knocks in life, and someconcentrated focus to send me on a voyage ofself-discovery.

A casual remark from a friend shook me up from myreverie.

“I am glad this happened. It helped me to discovermyself, and know what I want from life”.

What drives us to this point?

1. CONFLICT

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Why does it always take a conflict of some kind to helpus see ourselves in a different light? Do we need thatjuxtaposition to see our inner reality? The answerappeared.

We need a proverbial cat to unwind the ball of yarn,before we devise a process to put it back together.

We need to understand

• the stretchability of the yarn.

• the length to which the cat has pulled it.

• the right direction of movement for reversal.

• the number of coils needed to create a ball of thedesired size.

• The last knot needed to keep it sealed.

(Pic: gretchenrubin.com)

Does this represent

• Limits of our tolerance.

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• The extent to which our equilibrium has been upset.

• The steps needed to put our life back in order.

• The magnitude of effort needed to do the same.

• Caution needed to prevent recurrence of theproblem.

The easiest thing in life is to be you. The mostdifficult thing is what other people want you to be –By Leo Buscaglio.

2. CREATION BY ELIMINATION

Michelangelo was once asked how did he execute thearduous task of sculpting a magnificent statue of David.His answer revealed the essence of simplicity.

“That’s easy. Just chip out everything that is not David”.

Knowing others helps us to know what we dislike. Andthose are the traits that we need to eliminate from ourpersonality.

There stands the finest version of yourself, the bestthat you can be.

3. STANDING AT THE CROSSROADS

Life compels us to make a choice. We cannot have thecake, and eat it too. And we know what is moreimportant to us – having or eating.

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You have defined your priorities, and thereforeyourself. Your existence beyond the crossroads isauthentic .

4. CREATIVITY

There is a difference between manufacturing andcreating. The former involves producing something tospecifications. The latter involves creating an extensionof your innermost self.

You cannot create a piece, which is not a part of you . Itcan be a very classy imitation, or crass plagiarism, but itwill always be a shadow of another. An artist isinfluenced or inspired, but only by thoughts, objects orpeople that reflect a part of his self.

Thus, to create, you need to know yourself.

5. SPIRITUALITY

Spirituality is all about moving beyond the physical,mental and emotional boundaries of Personality, into theboundlessness of Existence. It has to be pure,authentic, just you.  A kind of energy is released, whichcan expand, merge or co-create, but is indestructible.

It is the essence of YOU.

6. AHA MOMENTS

Aha moments are the moments of sudden insight orrevelation, which take life forward. They take you out ofa stalemate, into forward movement.

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I came across a series of pictures of Pinterest, whichare self-explanatory, and self-exploratory. Theyelucidate the steps, and sum up the process at thesame time.

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Self-discovery is the moment, when the worldaround you darkens, and you see only a light that isYOU.

(Coverpic source: covediscourse.org)

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What You Choose to 'NotBe'

Tuesday 2 August 2016

________________

You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend theMost Time With

Jim Rohn

I start listing down all the people that I have known sincechildhood – family, teachers, friends, neighbors,classmates, colleagues, clients and alumni of differentinstitutions. And there I go in search of people whoaveraged me out.

1. The Red List

I took a red pencil and crossed the names of all thepeople that I dislike. I choose not to think about them.

2. The Purple List

My purple pencil was reserved for the people I did notlike, but needed for survival. I had to pretend to becordial. There was no choice. Your boss and domestichelp could both fall in this list.

3. The Blue List

Next, came a blue pencil to cross the people I do notactively like, but choose to interact with, being part ofthe same family or work set-up. Civility is the word here,not Need.

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4. The Grey List

Then, I picked up a grey one, and just obliterated thecells. There were so many whom I neither liked norloathed. I could live my life well enough, without them,and I do not see a need to acknowledge their existence.

5. The Black List

Now, I chose the thickest, blackest, darkest pencilpossible, which could provide the highest degree ofcontrast to the white background of the template. Thesewere the people I loved to loathe, but they lent meaningto my life, by juxtaposition. I have sworn never to be likethem. They are the scum of humanity, but theirexistence highlights the ‘nobility’ of my existence.Maybe, they draw similar solace from my existence.

6. The Golden List

These are the people whom I love, admire and respect.Tell me the names of people you consider to be yourmentors, and I will write your Vision, Mission and Valuesstatement of your life. The catch is, they may not bepeople you have met, or you know on a one-to-onebasis. Deities, authors, philosophers, social activists,political leaders and public figures could all figure in thislist.

The Golden List is created after an elaborateelimination process, of choosing what and who youDo not want in your life.

The Power of Filters

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Have you heard the following conversation, at the coffeemachine or water cooler in the office?

“I just saw the promotion list. X’s name does not appear,despite the mega success of his project”.

“I would be damned, if his name had appeared. He toldthe boss what he (the boss) was doing wrong. One hasto know better, I say”.

A throaty chuckle is heard, followed by the quick exit ofsome embarrassed faces.

X is seen as both competent and foolish. It depends onthe filter applied. Some people present there havechosen to ‘not be poor or less successful’, and somehave chosen to ‘not be dishonest or a liar’. And thosechoices have made them whatever they are. Theychoose to see X with the lens that they have crafted socleverly, given their unique experience in life.

The Top Five are not the people in my physicalvicinity, but those about whom I think, and usethose thoughts to make my choices. And they figureeither in the Golden or Black List.

You spend most of your time on the internet, phone ortelevision, and keep in touch with your Golden andBlack lists.

Darkness is only the absence of light. Or is it thereverse? What about sound and silence, knowledge andignorance? Do they oppose or complement each other?

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1. The Majority Filter

Pic : linkcrafter.com

How do you think the above figure was drawn? Withblack ink on white paper? Why not white ink on blackpaper?

Assumptions:

• The commonest color of paper used is white.

• White appears to be all-pervasive in this diagram,with black curves drawn on it.

• It is easier to paint black on white, dark on light,rather than the reverse.

Your finest qualities will be perceived, in context ofthe majority outlook, and the value system of theimmediate environment in which you live.

2. The Known Logic Filter140

Pic: keoneulaes.org

Here, the black and white stripes cover almost equalspace. White on black, or black on white? What do Ineed to check?

a. The material used .

Maybe, two colors of paper were used, and no ink.Paper of one color is pasted on another. This could alsobe a knit fabric, with black and white threads runningalternately, without an overlap.

b. Texture

Touch would reveal the texture of the flat base color,and the slightly raised topping. A large amount of whitewould need to be used, if it was painted on black paper.

c. Relative strength

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The depth or transparency of the color would indicate itsstrength. Is there a tinge of grey in white? So, that wasthe thinner consistency.

Here, known logic is used to apply the check, andmake a choice.

3. The Perception Filter

Here, I see a revolutionary cutting through the darkness,to emerge with its identity. It has acquired a shape,based on the space it could cut through. And this shapecould change, based on the space available, orjuxtaposition with an extraneous factor. Would theintensity of this picture be overlooked, with a colorfulpicture placed besides it? Or specks of grey introducedin the vision? Could the hero appear to be a monster,with specks of red, dripping from what appears to be hiseyes or mouth?

How the World Shapes You?

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I reproduce the story of Michelangelo with hismasterpiece sculpture of David. On being complimentedon the exquisite finesse of his work, the artist retorted :

“Why, it was easy. I just chipped off everything that wasnot David.”

What you choose to Not Be, shapes you andreinvents you.

David’s girlfriend could have exclaimed in horror:

“Where is the gold chain that I gifted him? Of course,David cannot exist without a symbol of my love.”

How the World Sees You?

But nothing exists in absolute terms, not even you.People want to see each other, with symbols (or bonds)of their ‘love’, and will judge you, based on the extent ofmutual connectivity. The further one goes in the quest

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for individuality, the hazier the picture appears toanother.

You and the world will see each other by applying oneor more of the three filters. There could be many more.These three are just indicative.

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What Binds HumanityTogether?

Friday 5 August 2016

________________

Say so, the learned T.S.Eliot and Thyon Edwards. Butwhy ? I looked at the PC screen for answers.

There is a message from a person, whose existence Ihad wanted to forget. Why did she want to meet meagain ?

A social network site is open in the third window. Facebook, being the hub of diversity, always takes me to unplanned destinations. I came across a video of twins being separated for a few minutes on birth, and in visible despair. The expressions  changed as they again lay close to one another, as they derived security from a

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sense of familiar comfort. Do we have a need forconnectivity, before stepping out in the world ?

An accidental click on the right, opened up a celebritygossip feature, with the trials and tribulations of astar-crossed relationship, and the bitter public battlesthey had waged against each other.

What is it that keeps human beings bound to oneanother?  If we complete each other, we alsoantagonize each other. If we love, we also hate. We arealso indifferent and unconcerned. Is hatred orindifference, the absence of love, or vice versa? Did wedevelop the negative emotions, when certainexpectations of positive connectivity were not met ?

I am no Gautam Buddha to meditate under the Bodhitree, and my limited knowledge is derived from  booksand the World Wide Web. And there, came the followinggurus to my rescue, with their combined wisdom.

• Hilary Scarlett, U.K.-based author of the new bookNeuroScience for Organizational Change

• Matthew Lieberman, author of “Social : Why ourbrains are wired to connect ?”

• Carnegie Mellon researchers Russel Goleman andGeorge Loewenstein .

Need for connectivity

The brain craves connection and information. Denial ofthe same leads to intense fear and insecurity. The

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reactions induced in the body are akin to those inphysical pain. The levels of pain in the absence ofdesired or sufficient information, have been measuredand found to be much higher than those who knew withcertainty, that the worst will follow. The missing bits ofinformation distract a person from work, and create anuncomfortable sense of not being in control.

Questions as connectors

This validated a Slideshare I had posted a few monthsago, on the role that questions play in connecting one tothe universe.

Questions

• Questions are the speed-breakers in our thoughtprocess.

• The process is interrupted, when theories cannot beverified.

• It leads to Unanswered Questions, to which you seekanswers.

• Questions pull you out of your comfort zone.

• Questions are your connectors to the rest of theworld.

• Relationships are formed with people who eitheranswer your questions or challenge them.

• The resultant equations create the web of your socialand professional networks.

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• The right questions challenge your assumptions,beliefs and yourself.

• The right questions lead you towards untraversedterrain.

• This untraversed terrain has the potential to becomeyour Highway to Success.

Oh Boy, my questions and statements suddenly madesense. And without going under the Bodhi tree.

Learning, Teaching and Sharing

The absence of the ‘other’ renders each of theseactivities meaningless. How do I feel superior or inferior,if there was no competitor? Whom do I share my loveand wisdom with, if there were no receivers? Petsprovide us with the much-needed sense of comfort andconnection, in absence of  human companions. We love

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them, discipline them, rebuke them and provide for theircomforts.

The satisfaction that we derive from the 3 activities oflearning, teaching and sharing, encompasses life (otherthan the fulfilment of physical needs ), and our yearningfor life.  We seek completion and fulfilment from it, andwant to continue forever with this process. The saintswho have been able to give up their bodies voluntarily,were the ones who had either achieved their stated lifepurpose, or believed that they will live again to completethe process.

Story-Telling

It is ultimately, your story and mine, and theirs, and howthey all overlap, that creates this nexus called the world.This includes the plants and animals, and any attempt atexcluding some of them, creates environmental andhuman disasters. Pull out a thread, and the fabric fallsapart.

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But, the human mind loves a challenge. They createisolated zones of comparative self-sufficiency. And then,pity those ‘poor dependent creatures’ outside, whilegloating on their own fortune. Would that really be afortune, without those unfortunate creatures out there ?

What I know now is that we're all interconnected andthat's a really beautiful thing. We have links toeveryone else in our lives and in the world. Differentpeople have different journeys for different reasons.You can't judge, but you can celebrate that there areconnections everywhere.

By Jane Seymour

external link(s):1.https://www.amazon.com/Neuroscience-Organizational-Change-Evidence-based-Practical/dp/07494748822. https://www.cmu.edu/dietrich/sds/docs/golman/Information-Gap%20Theory%202016.pdf3. http://www.slideshare.net/ReenaS/questions-57001635

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The 'SubConscious' ofthe Nation

Sunday 14 August 2016

________________

The subconscious is something lurking just belowawareness,

• in a human being,

• in a community, and

• in the collective awareness of a nation.

The collective conscious of a nation is comprised ofseveral sets of beliefs, biases and prejudices. Thatmakes it a rather malleable set, constantly shifting andassuming new shapes. It is an active entity whichcharges ahead, and charts the course of a nation. It isalso a passive entity which follows the leaders, in bitsand parts, not as a whole. And that makes it highlymouldable clay in the hands of master craftsmen.

Parallels between an individual and a nation

1. History

Individual

The subconscious mind is nothing but the “neuralpathways” that have been established in your brain asresult of your past beliefs and conditioning. During yourunconscious existence, when you weren’t awareenough, you ended up imbibing a lot of limiting beliefs,

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negative conditioning and misguided perceptions aboutlife, that you took to be “true” and hence believed inthem enough to create strong neural pathways in yourbrain about them – causing these patterns of thought tobecome “subconscious”.

Nation

We carry the painful memories of being a slave nation,of a partition that cut across a generation that had growntogether, and of being subjected to third partymanipulation before the declaration of sovereignty.Though that generation is now largely extinct, it has leftbehind those fears on the collective psyche.

Unfortunately, the British model of ‘Divide and Rule’, isalso seen as a successful model, and is emulated in thecorporate and political arenas. ‘The Great Divide’between the haves and have-nots still exists, asamassing of wealth by a few, by exploiting the massescontinues. The Rebel instincts, too, refuse to die down,as they are denied a share in the ownership of thenation. Action and Reaction, Heart and Brain, Consciousand Subconscious of the nation, thus, continue to feedeach other.

2. Mass Behavior

Individual

It has been studied biologically that the signals of theheart are transmitted to the brain via the blood stream,while the brain’s signals are transmitted to the entirebody, in terms of the vibration it produces (for example a

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fearful thought creates a vibration of fear which is felt inthe body and accessed by the heart). So the heart feedsthe brain, which in turn feeds the heart and thus createsa cycle of amplification of any signal that got started.

Nation

The economy, inflation, lack of gainful employment,social repression are all ‘signals of the heart’, that feedpolitics, uprisings, immigration, movements andrebellion. The elite few who hold economic, social orpolitical power are capable of sending out these‘signals’, and watching the ripples in the pulse of thenation.

3. The Gap

Individual

A lot of people who realize certain truths, and gainclarity, feel frustrated that their brain is not able to syncup with this understanding. The basic deal is that yourconscious mind has gained the understanding, but yoursubconscious mind is yet to get programmed in it – it stillhas strong neural pathways associated with the oldbeliefs, conditioning and thought pattern. The consciousmind can get it immediately, and you can feel a sense ofrelief and elation on getting the clarity, but the very nextday you can come up against the subconscious mindthat starts churning out the old patterns.

Nation

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This pause, the time gap between the realization andresponse is dangerous. This is the moment when vestedinterests strike on the emptiness, to exploit theawareness, and impose a new pattern. They confirm thenewly found belief, of deprivation and a hunger forprogress, but do not allow the masses to reach theunderlying cause, and integrate the conscious with thesubconscious. Instead, an alternate consciousness isimposed, which diverts attention from their role in thedrama. The masses are given an inane cause to uphold,a meaningless battle to fight, a new passion to create afalse sense of identity.  It is at this point, that the socialreformers and all those who sought to bring a genuineawakening, have failed. They could not move faster thanthe pause , which interrupts integration of the consciousand subconscious. Hence, the healthy behaviourpatterns have been unable to take root.

4. The Role of Emotion

Individual

When a thought creates a feeling in the body it’s calledemotion. Emotion is a physical/bodily experience of athought. Basically, intense/strong emotions are“unnecessary” and are the reason for 99% of physicalsuffering in the body, the rest 1% may be physicalsuffering created through some physical damage/injury.You can “think” without creating any significantlyfelt emotions. There is no such thing as “goodemotions”. It is only a state of absence ofresistance/emotion which feels good,

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Nation

Once an emotion is generated, the individual or group ofindividuals goes all out to justify it, mostly byrationalization (generation of a suitable logic), andinviting others to confirm it. This process takes the formof the 'pulse of the nation', the public sentiment or amass hysteria. We have seen this happening in Brexit,where the appeal for an identity and independenceoverruled economic interest. We are seeing the bizarredevelopments in the U.S. election campaign. We haveseen it in several movements, elections and slandercampaigns in India. The successful ad campaigns haverelied on this method. It works. Hence, it will continue tobe employed as a tool.  Relianceon 'thought' and 'sensitivity' rather than 'emotion', needsto be inculcated in functioning of the human mind.

SPEED MATTERS

“ Speed is the form of ecstasy the technicalrevolution has bestowed on man”

says the Czech novelist Milan Kundera . The ‘thoughtconsumer’ just consumes and assimilates, and gets ahigh from it, without that pause to think and analyse .The brain does not know the difference between realityand illusion, and neural pathways are created. Higherthe volume of this bombardment of views, the more realdo those views appear, and become synonymous withan imposed reality.

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America, the most celebrated democracy in the world,faces a caricature election this year. The elevation of themain characters in the cast to the peak, will remain asubject of socio-political research for several years. Itwill be fuelled by the consequences in the next 4 to 8years. The video by Jeff Warrick summarizes themechanism of ‘Programming of the Nation’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WRjnzKd9rs

THE FUTURE OF INDIA

Are we doomed to go down the same route, and comeback in a cyclic turn of events? Do we have to hit rockbottom, before we start moving up again? Or is there away to prevent the disaster?

Are we willing to ‘Pause and Think’ before weabsorb whatever is thrown at us? The future willthank us for being an enlightened nation, if wemanage to achieve that. Imagine the caricatures

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falling off, one by one, and an enlightened andresponsible nation emerge. And then, work towardsmaking it a reality.

(Source of  Text in italics: calmdownmind.com)

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Twists in StorytellingSunday 28 August 2016

________________

I rarely read fiction, or watch fiction shows on television.I have not succeeded in writing a good story ever. But, Iconsider it to be a limitation that I need to overcome.

Hence, the interpretation by VR filmmaker, JessicaBrillhart, struck an immediate chord.

"Story to me is a result of an experience. We filterout our experiences in order to better communicatethat to someone else. So I make a film aboutsomething that's happened to me or something thatI believe has happened to someone and I representthat to you."

This aspect of storytelling makes it so relevant to puttinga point across – in an article, speech, video or trainingprogram. It creates an immediate connect with theaudience, as each individual links it to an experience inhis or her life. It fuels imagination, and ‘lights up therelevant neural pathways’ (as a brain scientist would putit). It creates a receptive soil, for absorption of furtherinputs, and flowering of new thoughts.

VISUALIZATION

A story gives an idea about what is possible.

I remember a story I had read in a school textbook,about a couple who are affiliated to different politicalparties. The wife spews venom against her husband, in

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the election campaign. She sells the first piece ofjewellery that was gifted by her husband, when the partyneeds funds. On the evening before the poll, sheoverhears her husband’s chat with his friend. Thehusband chuckles that he loves his wife, for her fierypassion towards any cause that she believes in. Shespends the night in deep reflection, and   the nextmorning sees her cast her vote in her husband’s favor.

The power of this story lies in the fact, that it had set myexpectations for a future partner, right then, in mypre-teens.

NOISE IN STORY TELLING

Too much noise in a story fails to build up the rightexpectations.

A trainer opened a session on Emotional Intelligence, bydiscussing the Magic of the number 7, or 21 or 40, andhow do they help in formation of habits. It immediatelyled to the question “Why are we discussing this?”. It tooksome time for the class to catch, that emotionalintelligence can be a cultivated habit that helps. Theplacement of the example in the storyline led toconfusion.

See the following commercials with garbled messages,that have qualified as Worst Indian Ads of the year2014, by Anuholic.

Worst Indian Ads 2014

BUILDING LINKAGES

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We accept opinions as facts, if we see the samething being repeated in several social media posts.Further linkages are invented by the people circulatingthe posts.

As I write this, I am watching Sonakshi Sinha on TV,narrating the story of her grandmother’s initial refusal toallow her beauty queen mother to marry her father, whowas a struggling actor at that point of time (fact). Onbeing asked about the circumstances that led to her finalconsent, she said,

“Stardom induces acceptance of everything”.(Opinion)

It is a fact that her father, Shatrughan Sinha hadattained stardom, before his marriage. But it is onlySonakshi who creates a linkage between his stardom,and her grandmother’s consent. The line between thetwo is very thin, and can be used both with a positiveand negative intent.

Virtual reality and Augmented reality will carry thistheme further, with a lot of new twists.

FEARS AROUND STORYTELLING

There are lobbies in the corridors of power, which do notwant people to see possibilities of freedom, or betteralternatives.

The exercise of imagination is dangerous to thosewho profit from the way things are, because it hasthe power to show that the way things are is not

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permanent, not universal, not necessary. Havingthat real though limited power to put establishedinstitutions into question, imaginative literature hasalso the responsibility of power.

The storyteller is the truthteller.

Ursula K. Le Guin

Is this a fact or opinion?

MICROLEARNING – HANDLING CONTRADICTIONS

This is the age of micro-learning. It is only a strongrecurrent theme linkage between the various capsulesdoled out, which can maintain a semblance of continuityin the message. Each link in the story needs to link up tothe principal theme, to keep the learners on track. Wecannot afford to overlook the fact, that the learner isbeing bombarded with several contradictory messagesat the same time. We need to empower learners with astrong analytical ability, to accept or refute contradictingtheories.

Maria Popova puts it beautifully, when she says (www.brainpickings.org )

“Presence is far more intricate and rewarding an art,than productivity.”

There is a great responsibility on the shoulders of thestory-teller, as well as the viewer.

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external link(s):1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLWr7F8xODA2. http://www.brainpickings.org

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What do your stories tellyou?

Thursday 1 September 2016

________________

"Some double the stake

Some play blind

I just have a high card

I read people and their minds"

There is a story running through our heads throughoutour life, and it keeps changing. There is a mental housethat we live in, and we keep shifting the walls, toaccommodate our perceptions.

The stories that they told, and what I heard

Malini, who was not particularly close to her family,revealed that she has always had an imaginary familyshe interacted with. It had 3 men from three differentgenerations.

• The first was a father figure who pampered her.

• The second was a highly supportive guy in her ownage group, successful in his profession, who wasperhaps a friend, classmate or brother. There wasclearly no romantic association with this guy, and hisdedication to his partner was exemplary.

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• The third was a school-going child who was witty andbrilliant, and looked up to her.

She shared her woes and achievements with thesethree guys, had long conversations, and alsoparticipated in the banter between them. She wanted tohone her writing skills, to weave these characters into astory. They were so alive in her imagination, that theyfelt real. And she easily befriended people, whoresembled any of these three.

What did this story tell me about her?

• She pined for unconditional love.

• She needed companionship.

• She needed acceptance as an individual, devoid ofany role play.

• She wanted the support of a successful andinfluential person, to further her own goals.

• She was clear that a romantic relationship could notfulfil her needs.

• She did miss not having a baby.

• She wished to relive her childhood through a child.

• She was not keen on familial responsibilities.

• She was not very comfortable in the company ofwomen.

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• She was capable of giving, but wanted to beappreciated for that. It was not a selfless act.

When I shared my interpretation with her, she confessedthat she was an ambitious person, and had found familyto be a restrictive factor. She did not enjoy playing therole of a stereotypical daughter, wife or daughter-in-law,and did not like demands being placed on her. She didfeel that it was all a thankless job, and her support wastaken for granted. She felt that romantic relationshipswere demanding, and she preferred an easycamaraderie. She had very few women friends, as shefound them to be judgemental.

Close enough?

2. There are people we term as ‘congenital liars’, sincethey keep lying without having to gain anything from it.They are actually living out the life, which they hadalways wanted to. But they commit the error ofverbalising it, maybe to enjoy the awed response frompeople around them. Try to change the topic (knowingthe hollowness of it all) and they will repeat the samestory with renewed emphasis, saying “Maybe, you didnot get that ….. “.

3. Namita, who was brought up in the posh environs of ametropolitan city, moved to a small town, after marryingher sweetheart. She kept repeating the stories of heryounger days, her dreams and ambitions, and theencounters with celebrities residing in theneighbourhood ….  well, several hundred times, and thestories got laced with more and more imaginary details,

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with each repeated narration. The children wereencouraged to take up whatever she had left unfinished.Clearly, she had missed out on a life she wanted tolead, and was romanticising it.

4. An old man who has lived a difficult life, paintsglorious pictures of his past, while talking to his peers onan evening walk, or his grandchildren. It makes mewonder if he has blocked out the unpleasant facets ofhis life from memory, or if a faint awareness of realitystill lingers on in moments of solitude.

I still flinch at the memory of some ‘faux pas’ statementsmade in the distant past to people I haven’t seen inyears. I wish to meet those people again to clarify that Ihad not meant any harm. Do they still remember theincident, or associate it with me in a negative manner? Idon’t know. But I keep reliving those forgettablemoments.

It is all a painstaking effort to live a life we hadwished for. It is unfinished business.

‘Finish’ the story

Do we need to silence these inner voices, and theconsequent enactment of scenes?

If we understand the deep rooted desires behind thesestories, we might work at a plan to achieve them. Oraccept that it is over, and there is no possibility offulfilment. It will push us towards creating new stories –real and achievable.

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As the Scottish psychiatrist R.D. Laing says,.

“ One must overlay this devastation by a newconsciousness..”,

albeit a more active and action-oriented one.

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Stories are not all TrueSunday 4 September 2016

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I met Julie, a couple of days ago. She is not keen ongetting married. If at all she does, she wants her ‘space’.But she was unable to define what exactly ‘space’meant to her. She kept repeating that she wanted to beher own person, and hated people dictating terms, orinterfering with her life. It was quite a common rant.

Meanwhile, in my ‘search for truth’, as I prefer to call mystory, I came across a piece by Keith Frankish, anEnglish philosopher and writer:

Whatever you think, you don’t necessarily know yourown mind.

Gist of Keith's theory

Keith essentially talks about two innate capabilities ofhuman beings:

• They look outwards and understand what the otherperson is thinking or feeling.

• Our own thoughts are a reflection on outside stimuli.

Humans did not develop a second, inward-lookingmind-reading system (an inner sense); rather, theygained self-knowledge by directing theoutward-looking system upon themselves.

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Julie has grown up, watching or hearing about hermother’s life of subjugation, and she becamedetermined to lead an independent life. She foundbehavior traits within herself to support her independentstreak, and formed beliefs about her personality. But thewhole process could have been a reactive one. Wecannot be sure, if her independence was an inborn trait.

The ISA (Interpretive Sensory Access theory byPeter Carruthers) theory has some startlingconsequences. One is that (with limited exceptions),we do not have conscious thoughts or makeconscious decisions. For, if we did, we would beaware of them directly, not through interpretation.The conscious events we undergo are all sensorystates of some kind, and what we take to beconscious thoughts and decisions are reallysensory images – in particular, episodes of innerspeech . These images might express thoughts, butthey need to be interpreted. (Emphasis mine)

Does it mean that thoughts and concepts are likeviruses, which cannot multiply without a host? Thestories playing in our minds are just an assorted replayof several other stories that we have heard. And all thatwe need to do to change those stories, is to decode,delink and connect with a new host.

Analogy of a neural network model

The neural network model comprises of three layers:

• Input

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• Hidden layer

• Output.

The programming of the hidden layer determines theoutput. In a quoted example, recognizing a bus mightneed programmed sensitivity to 3 signals

• Wheel recognition (every bus has a wheel)

• Box recognition (the shape of a bus is like a box)

• Size recognition (it is bigger than a car).

(Source : NEURAL NETWORK MODEL FOR THEON-LINE MONITORING OF A CRYSTALLIZATIONPROCESS

What does the hidden layer in a neural network compute)

Back to Julie

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It needs professional expertise to decode the hiddenlayer in a psyche. But on a simplified note, a longconversation with Julie revealed the following elementsin this layer:

• A husband is a guy who controls you.

• The institution of marriage is governed by restrictivenorms.

• Having children makes it difficult to get out of anunsatisfactory arrangement.

I could see some light now. The story needed to berewritten with positive examples, and more than that, apositive experience. The exercise would not becomplete, till Julie met a guy, who was not like hercoded image of a husband.

She had read these stories about people making similarchoices (people who resembled a father or an ex) ofpartners, again and again, to fall in the same trap. Shehad fallen in a relationship trap of this description, andwas scared.

This was my take on it.

A person needs to be taken as a whole. We cannot choose only certain parts of the personality. Julie grew up hating the fact, that her father gave more importance to his parents, and refused to give her mother the independence that she wanted. But she had also admired his value system, intelligence, devotion and respect to elders, and love for his children. Maybe, he

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expected his wife to partner him in his care initiatives,and on seeing resistance, enforced certain rules. It wasequally true, that her mother had no right to take himaway from his family. The problem was embedded inthat one layer – of not treating his wife as anindividual with her own needs. She was not a slaveto be compelled to execute certain duties, or aninstrument to fulfil his objectives.

Julie chose a partner who resembled her father in manyways, but also had this repulsive trait of imposing hisvalue system. The decoding should help her in creatinga priority list, and reshaping the mental image of anideal partner. The linkage with the married life of herparents, or their individual personalities needs to bebroken. An agreement to allow mutual space can beworked out.

I wish Julie all the best for her life ahead.

Life lessons for me

The more I know, I realize how little I do.

I am a host for other people’s stories, as much asthey are for me.

Links to previous articles on story-telling :

What do your stories tell you

Twists in storytelling

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external link(s):1. https://aeon.co/ideas/whatever-you-think-you-don-t-necessarily-know- your-own-mind?utm_source=Aeon+Newsletter&utm;_campaign=b289c1712c - Weekly_Newsletter_2_September_20169_2_2016&utm;_medium=email&utm;_term =0_411a82e59d-b289c1712c-690098012. http://www.scielo.br/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid;=S0104-66322001000300006)3. http://stats.stackexchange.com/questions/63152/what-does-the-hidden-layer-in-a-neural-network-compute and4. http://reinventions.in/?p=21025. http://reinventions.in/?p=2098

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Re-Inventing StorytellingSunday 18 September 2016

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The hero turns into a vampire, a friend turns out to be aghost, a palace is actually a cemetery. The twists intales can bring about a total change in perception. Thiscan happen with a sudden reversal of character,reversal of fortune, or reversal of motive in a script, andthe end of the story changes.

The nursery rhymes, bedtime stories and mythology allcreate folklore wisdom, that gets entrenched inpersonalities.

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water

Jack fell down, and broke his crown

And Jill came tumbling after.

Up Jack got, And home did trot As fast as he couldcaper. Went to bed, to mend his head With vinegar andbrown paper .

Smart Alecs have raised a lot of questions on thisnursery rhyme, which we used to memorize mindlesslyin childhood.

• Water is normally available in a well, pond or river.Why go up the hill?

• What was the relationship between Jack and Jill?174

• Were they human? How could a head be mendedwith vinegar and brown paper?

• Do vinegar and brown paper have some otherconnotations?

• Why did he not bother about Jill, or help her after thefall? Did she survive?

The link of the poem to French history (King Louise XVIand Queen Marie Antoinette, who were beheaded) wasavailable at a click of the mouse.

(Time: 1 minute)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_349M6qU3E

Placing brown paper soaked in vinegar on the head,was indeed a therapeutic practice followed in thosedays, to cure a headache. It was a mild ending, to coverthe brutality of the actual story, and we got carried awaywith it.

Wish we had this click facility to decode the stories thatkeep replaying in our heads. They continue to berepeated and misinterpreted in society, through us.

M YTHOLOGY

In the 1950s, a young man lost his wife at the age of 32,and shouldered the responsibility of being a singleparent to three young daughters, in a conservativetownship. I am sure he was scared and insecure,beneath the calm exterior of a regular meditator. Thefirst story extended to his motherless daughters, was

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that of a widow in the family, who was found to bepregnant. It led to an ‘honor killing’ within the thick walls,of the huge mansion of the feudal lords. Theimpressionable girls were scared and scarred for life.They looked at the elders in the family, with a sense offear and trepidation, and had no companion to share.

I wish they had asked uncomfortable questions. If thewomen in that day and age, did not step out of the‘palace of honor’, who was responsible for theimpregnation? Was that guy killed or punished? Thefather would have got a foretaste of his futureresponsibilities, and would perhaps, have changed hisparenting style. They did not, and the story lived in theirpsyche for long, leading to repressed personalities.Women who live in fear of being punished for another’scrime, without being given a hearing, do not complain orprotest. Their presence on the scene of crime, is flungback at them, as an allegation of ‘crossing boundarylines’. This is responsible for many of the social evils,and crimes against women that we witness today.

Why is mythology still relevant?

• It is rooted in our heritage, to tell us where we camefrom.

• The half-truths or myths are used to convey morallessons.

• We all love a good story.

Love and embellish the story, for sure, till it startsaffecting life adversely. Who can justify riots based on

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racial prejudice, or the exploitation of certain sectors ofthe population  , in the name of tradition? Who canjustify turning oneself into a mental wreck, because ofan idealistic story running in our head, which did notreach the desired end?

Scale back in time and thoughts to Zero, and restartagain.

Zero-based Thinking

REWRITE THE SCRIPT

The script for the future is deceptively simple.

• Identify the conflicts.

• Identify the baddies.

• Revisit the emotional outbursts, and separate factfrom fiction.

• Is a recurrence likely?

• If yes, what are the steps taken for prevention?

• If no, check where do you stand today.

• If you do not trust the baddie, you will not allow himor her to enter your life again. Now, where is theconflict?

• We secretly hope to see the baddie suffer. If they areso far away, that we will never receive a confirmationof  their misfortune, how does it help?

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• If they are not so far away, and you can dosomething to vent it out (without landing in jail, ormaking a sorry spectacle of yourself) do it. Do it, tearthe pages and close the story.

Now, determine cause and effect of each incident, andsee where your responsibility lies.

EMOTIONS AND EGO

BUT…. as Lloyd Shefsky, Professor of Kellog’s Schoolof Management says,

It’s like playing chess versus playingthree-dimensional chess: You have this overlay ofemotional rules over a very scientific or logical setof business rules, and the likelihood that both setsof rules are going to blend easily is pretty remote.

The Ego defines our psychological identity, just as thedimensions of the body define our physical existence.Unfortunately, Ego develops an awareness of itsexistence, only when the boundary lines are pushed.The defensive reaction for protecting itself can lead to alot of negativity. Neediness in relationships, insecurity,resentment and revenge all stem from this premise.

An awareness of the boundary lines (before an externalattack) and the willingness to stretch it a little, toaccommodate another’s point of view, can give us awhole new perspective on every story that we comeacross.

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Jack and Jill will no longer be innocent beings, who metwith an unfortunate accident. The hapless widow will nolonger be seen as a generic ‘sinner’ to be punished. Theheroes you worship may not appear to be all virtuous.The people you so dearly love, are no longer spotlessand stainless, but you know the person beneath thespots and stains. You know your role in cleaning thespots and stains.

You know where responsibility is to be fixed.

The Hare and the Tortoise story has been reinventedseveral times, and has emerged with better conclusions.Enjoy it once again.

(Time: 4 minutes)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXTeFa43730

external link(s):1. http://reinventions.in/?p=1967

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The Emperor's NewClothes

Thursday 20 October 2016

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The morning begins with a steaming cup of coffee, anda positivity message from well-wishers on social media.

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This was followed by many more riding on popularwaves and concepts. There is not a single personchallenging the validity of these concepts? A singulareffort draws immediate silence, and a diversion to other‘safe’ topics. It chills my spine, irrespective of thewarmth that envelops me in the bed.

If this is supposed to set the tone for the day, why doesnobody do a recap at the end of the day ?

“What lessons did you learn during the day ?”

“How will you carry the same to the next day ?”

“ Have you developed a strategy to combat thenegativity around you?”

“ Are you well equipped to defend your owninterest ?”

And most important of all,

“Why have the Positive Things not happenedtoday ?”

Because my perception does not alter reality. Chuck thedope.

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Life is what happens while you are planning otherthings. What does one need to prepare for ? Theunexpected battles that will need energy and strategy,or miraculous positivity ?

I fully agree that thoughts shape action, and actionshapes our destiny. Hence, we become what we think. Idisagree with the notion that being good and thinkingpositive will attract success and happiness. We cannotafford to remain oblivious of the obstacles and negativityin our path, and hope to be miraculously rewarded forgood Karma.

The proponents of virtue, need to demonstrate successachieved by virtue. Multiple-speak and multiple-think inthe system, has confused and debilitated severalcapable but weak minds.

The child in the Emperor’s story was fearless in callingout the Emperor’s name, since he was oblivious of the

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consequences that could befall him. Positivity is neededto overcome the fear, and speak out.

“The Emperor has no clothes”.

I see only Fear in the picture below, neither Grandeurnor Sycophancy.  And Deception by a mastermanipulator, who succeeded in instilling fear of beingsingled out.

The friend who makes an effort to inject cheer in my life,is not a manipulator. S/he is fearful of being singled outfor being aloof, a non-believer, a spoilsport. And thereare millions who play along, while losing all opportunitiesto Stand Out.

All capable and intelligent people need to be vigilant,against becoming tools in the power games ofmanipulators. The strategies employed by themanipulators (I will not call them leaders) of the system,

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are designed to suit their own success, by stunting thedevelopment of the mainstream.

Strategy #1 – Keep them busy

It takes a dimwit or an inexperienced child to say ‘TheEmperor has no clothes”. But the dimwit remains adimwit, a short-term hero for his fearless words, and theEmperor remains an Emperor.

While the Emperor imagines his grand robes, and acustomized wardrobe to house the same, the Devil hasbuilt a designer castle for himself, with the astronomicalamount the Emperor has paid.

People need to remain busy with small battles, smallachievements and small joys. It prevents awareness ofthe total picture, and a consequent uprising andrevolution.

Strategy #2 Keep them dreaming

And better, if in a state of deep REM sleep orsomnambulism. It reduces sensitivity to the web ofcontrol around them.

How many people out there are peddling miracles, fromthe Miracle Godmen to the people promising “5 or 9 or15 secrets to success”, and you emerge from theprogram, just poorer by a few grands? Dreams sell, anddream-weavers are the richest segments of society.

Strategy #3 Keep them working

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How often have we heard the words “I hear a lot of goodthings about you. Keep up the good work” in the powercorridors, with a friendly pat on the shoulder ? Why dothe powerful never bother to back it up with theirfirst-hand opinions, or awareness of yourachievements ? While you remain in your euphoria,busy with good work to strengthen the base of thepyramid, the smart strategist has climbed up to thepeak.

You were never supposed to know what was happeningup there, in the rarefied atmosphere. The worker beesare needed to build the hive, while the Queen feeds onRoyal jelly, and expands her empire.

Strategy #4 Keep them feeling guilty

Unachievable standards of perfection are set. Can yoube a selfless God, who sacrificed all for the benefit of hisfellow-beings ? It keeps you feeling inadequate, and toosmall to question the selfish acts of others.

Move the goalposts frequently, change timeframes, soyou never gain satisfaction of having reachedsomewhere. Your achievements are denigrated,because that ‘something else’ was not achieved. Whohas not experienced this in annual performanceappraisals ? Or in being the parent who has beensqueezed out of the last penny, by a selfish and errantoffspring ?

Strategy #5 Keep them intoxicated

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The opium of Religion, Political loyalty, drugs all keepyou safely inoculated against Awareness. What youdon’t know cannot hurt you. What you don’t knowcannot be questioned. What you don’t know does notdepress or demotivate you. People who do not expendeffort to understand, remain a loyal and subservientworkforce to the masters.

And you travel through this lifetime, happy and sedated.

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A 'Slasher' ExistenceMonday 20 June 2016

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The legendary Roshan Abbas referred to himself  as a‘slasher’ in one of the events he hosted. The term mayhave negative connotations coming from Americanhorror films, but he gave it an interesting twist. It wasjust meant to describe his various facets – radio jockey(Slash)/ theatre artist (Slash)/TV anchor (Slash) /writer(Slash)/director (slash)/emcee (slash)/impresario.

I was sure, impressed by the impresario. And thevarious connotations of the word, in describing apersonality.

1. The Multitaskers

Do the multitaskers handle several jobs at once, or keepswitching from one task to another ? Are we taxing thebrain too much, and letting perfection suffer in an effortto be over-efficient ? The neural networks in a part ofthe brain ‘light up’, when they get involved in a thought,and remain so for sometime. The efficiency ofmulti-tasking depends on how fast do we get back to thetask or thought left behind. The brain has multi-levelstorage facility, and can cope with the pressure.

This is just a modus operandi, not the method ofexistence.

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2. The Colored Hatters

Edward De-Bono has described the six different anglesof the thinking process, as different hats that adecision-maker needs to don. It is like viewing the samevalley from different spots on a mountain.

• Blue                 Process Overview

• White                 Facts and figures

• Yellow Speculative- positive

• Black                Caution and critic

• Red Feeling and Intuition

• Green Creativity and ideas

This is just about the thinking process, not theprocess of existence.

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3. The play of the opposites

There is a bit of positive and negative, black and white,male and female, yin and yang in all of us. Life is aprocess of balancing the opposites, living with a certainamount of stress.

If we are in a state of perpetual comfort, the wordcomfortable will lose its meaning. It acquires a positivesense of well-being, in juxtaposition with discomfort.One does not exist without the other.

This is about balance, not the edge of existence.

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4. The Role-Players

In its simplest version, the same individual is a boss,employee, parent, spouse, friend, colleague, producer,consumer all at the same time. And practicallyeverybody is doing all of this.

There are artists who can sing, dance, write, paint anddo equally well.

This is about co-existence, not the core ofexistence.

So, what is great about being a ‘slasher’ ?

5. The 'Slashers'

The slashers are people who have discovered theirdifferent dimensions, and found avenues for expressionof the same.  They ‘slash’ the myth of destruction anddeath.

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• It is about increased capacity utilization of the brain,and still leaving some to be explored at a later stagein life.

• It is about learning something new everyday, in morethan one arena, and moving a step ahead.

• It is about being on an endless journey towardsperfection.

• It is about measuring the length, breadth and depthof each competence, comparing it with others, anddevising productive action plans.

• It is about exploring the market for eachcompetence, and deciding what will remain upfrontor backstage.  It feels treacherous, like dumping onefor another – but we are forced to say “Your time willcome, dear friend, just hang on a little longer”.

• It is about putting different frames on intelligence andcreativity, and emerging with different end-products.

• It is about wearing a different cloak at different times,and keeping the others within easy reach, to beaccessed when needed.

• It is about rearranging different dimensions, foremergence of a new shape and form.

• It is about a constant search for fertile soil, which willhelp the seeds grow.

• It is about being buried alive, and sprouting again ina new life. The soul never dies, the spark never dies.

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This is about the indomitable spirit of existence.

Proud to be a slasher.

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The Beauty of the Point ofNo Return

Monday 20 June 2016

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I woke up with a heaviness in my head today. It was anuneasy night, with varied objects flying at and aroundme – DeBono’s  colored hats, different kinds of grids,theories, beliefs, suspicions, half-conclusions – allmocking at my inability to accommodate them with duerespect.

The equipment that I own looks something like this, andis grossly inadequate.

I need a filing cabinet , and space is not an issue. It should be flexible enough to hold diversity, accessible enough to return items on demand, spongy enough to absorb new streams and durable enough to last for a

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lifetime. It should allow fungibility for inter-spatialmovement, and well-structured launchpads to catapultan integrated product. The brain is performing all thesefunctions, with not-so-satisfactory results and constantlyasking for re-engineering.

Does my fantasy look something like this ?

The co-ordinated movement is a myth, a fantasy. I havebeen weighed down by competing instincts and logic, allnight and all my life.

• The Banker in me is counting the boxes, andcalculating the weighted average.

• The Image Consultant in me is admiring the interplayof shapes and colors, and imagining the person orgarment that it will adorn.

• The Coach in me is trying to interpret the creator’smental process.

• The Entrepreneur in me is thinking how to packageit, and find a buyer.

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• The Thinker in me is analysing, sifting and sortingand picking up the compatible pieces.

• The Writer in me is trying to put a framework onparts of it, though it may create incomplete andintriguing pictures.

Does my persona add value to the structure, or am I aproduct shaped by these intertwining pieces ? Is my lifea jigsaw puzzle of putting these pieces together? This isjust intra-personal conflict.

And how will it complement or clash with others’ thoughtprocesses? The interactions with them will lend newdimensions to some of these elements, in a manner thatthey do not pop out and fall, but find justification to stayinside that structure.

ABRACADABRA ! This is what I was looking for. Thethought that makes me pop out and fall, find my feetagain, and then wings. The thought that will catapult mefrom ordinary to extraordinary, from masses to classes,from mundane to mind-blowing. This is not an idea, nota discovery, not an invention. This is pure energy, anirresistible driving force, a point of Transformation, thatrenders everything else meaningless. This is theLaunchpad that I wanted in that filing cabinet of mine.The ejection force will be generated from within, and willbe sufficient to fight the opposing forces outside.

This is Creativity ! This is the Essence of Life ! Theopaque surfaces around me acquire reflective powers toturn into mirrors. This is the defining moment, which

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helps us discover ourselves. It is the insane, brutepower that makes us sane and sensible.  It is themoment that makes people start new ventures, give upaddictive behaviour, take off on journeys around theworld, and just BE THEMSELVES. It gives lucidity to acomplex piece of literature, it lends colour and vibrancyto sketchy outlines, it lends meaning to the wholebusiness of existence. It makes life a summary of ideasthat succeeded and failed, rather than a sum of years ordecades.

It does not happen only to the Einsteins andMichaelangelos in the world.  Each of us can go throughthis process, with some hand-holding from a being, whowas enlightened before you did.

It could also be an acceptance of reality, that change ina given framework is beyond our means and power. Theonly way to move ahead is transiting to a newframework, or counting the blessings and staying on.This is the moment that makes people quit  jobs andrelationships and chuck commitments . The GautamBuddhas and John Galts were all  born in this moment.Atlas Shrugs in these moments. And moves ahead todiscover newer worlds.

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10 Dimensions of VictorySunday 21 August 2016

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Social media has been on a party of Olympianproportions, in the last few weeks. Controversialcomments, trolling, exposure, criticism, admiration andeuphoria are all in full play. This is how a nation, societyand culture pulsate, and one needs to watch closely tounderstand the prevailing mood.

IS IT ALL ABOUT VICTORY?

We participate in a contest to win, to display our mettle,and gain recognition on a larger platform. Victory ismeant to be celebrated. It would be shameful to ignoreor downplay the herculean efforts of the participants, orthe badges of honor received.

But different segments appear to have a different motivebehind the celebrations. I felt compelled to examine thevarious aspects of something as simple as hailing avictory.

1. Aspirational

The aspirants to a similar victory observe it closely, andcelebrate a future star-spangled vision. They seethemselves in every frame, every pose and every bytedoled out by the winners.

2. Inspirational

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The doomsayers who have never thought that theycould, start seeing a ray of hope. If X can do it, whycan’t we, or anybody on a similar quest? It suddenlyvalidates the achievability of hopes and dreams, andalters attitudes.

3. Sectarian pride

Particular sections of the population, like women, aparticular state or institution acquire a sense ofparticipation in the victory. They are proud of someoneof their own ilk, reaching the stars, or the covetedaward, cup or medal. Expressions like ‘well-deserved’mark the sentiment.

The three athletes who won accolades for the nation, allbeing women, have brought out all feminist issues inopen forums.

4. Awe and recognition

Stories of the intense preparation, the struggle, thesacrifices made by the participants dot the media. Thereis an awe-struck generation, looking up at details of thenumber of hours per day spent in preparation, the timespent without basic amenities such as the phone andtelevision, and the battle against naysayers, fought forseveral years.

5. Exposure of malpractices in the system

The poor infrastructure, the pathetic facilities provided tothe participants, the casual attitude of officials, favoritismand the measly rewards are all highlighted. It succeeds

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in drawing mass attention to the gaps, and might inducethe state to make some corrections, and dole out higherfinancial rewards.

6. Affinity with the enemy’s rival

If I do not like a country or a contestant, all my supportgoes to the rival. I hope and pray for, and celebrate therival’s victory, as it feels like apt dispensation of justice.The loser deserved what s/he got, more so than thewinner. We celebrate the emergence of a challenger totake him on, and show him his place. The challenger isseen as a savior, an upholder of honor or justice. S/heneed not make it to the last mile. A battle won is as goodas the war. It has generated hope for the future.

7. Personality wins

A contestant wins hearts and minds with his/hercharacter, conduct, statements and the spunk displayed.Even the first-time viewer develops an affinity for acontestant, based on the personality projected. Such acontestant wins, irrespective of a victory or defeat on thefield. They acquire public sympathy for a loss, not adamnation.

Dipa Karmakar made it to the fourth place ingymnastics, and lost an Olympic medal by a mere 0.15of a point. The risk undertaken by her in performing theProdunova, helped her win millions of hearts, in thecountry and abroad.

8. Shaming the Naysayer

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A celebrity makes negative statements damning theprospects of victory or performance, maybe a little tooearly in the game. Thereafter, each positive step taken,each accolade, each medal becomes an occasion tobash up the naysayer. Demands for apologies orretraction of the statement, take the social media bystorm.

The Shobhaa De episode has amply demonstrated thisphenomenon.

9. Juxtaposition

The media discovers veterans, who are leading ahumble life today, despite their gargantuanachievements in the past. The failure of the system intaking care of its achievers, and the consequentreluctance of future generations to enter the arenaleading to a national loss, is revealed. The comparisonwith champions of other countries or another sport,highlights the wide gaps.

10. Benchmarking against past victories

It helps to be the first winner. One is hailed just forreaching a particular point, irrespective of the qualitativeaspects of the performance. A territory has beenconquered, a flag has been hoisted, a name has beenetched in the annals of history.

Emily Dickinson’s poem elucidates the precedingsentiment:

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“Victory comes late, And is held low to freezing lips Toorapt with frost To take it. How sweet it would havetasted, Just a drop!”

WHAT FOLLOWS VICTORY

What is competition all about? It is about honing talents,a SWOT analysis and inspiring people to reach theirpeak levels. In absence of competition, that effort wouldnever have been made.

Upholding a honor, holding your place in the hierarchyand chalking out a plan for climbing to a higher rankfollows a victory. Somehow, this process manages toescape public attention. A biography is not needed todocument the method followed by a winner, therequirements (inborn qualities, talent, efforts,investment), the sacrifices (maybe an academic career),and the facilities/avenues available for future aspirants.We need national, regional and institutional plans to

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attract and nurture talent, and the information beingavailable in public domain.

TALENT MAPPING

The principles apply to any field, not just sports.Common citizens need to know where do they fit in thenational/international system with their talent, and whatchances do they stand for inching forward, notnecessarily being the ultimate winner. Equal emphasison ethics will help character-building. The means are asimportant as the end. The journey is as important as thedestination.

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Narcissism in writersThursday 23 June 2016

________________

All of us are narcissists to some extent. Only the extentdiffers, and makes a difference to the people around us,as well. It controls the extent to which they find uslovable, endearingly tolerable or intolerable.

Writers cannot help, but be narcissistic. A writer can seehis/her mental reflection, akin to Narcissus seeing hisimage in water, but can preserve it, only by laying itopen to the outside world. Writing is a process ofprojecting a part of your innermost self, and one cannotdo that, without loving that self, to some extent. Again,the extent differs. And the kind of writing differs.

Non-Creative Writing

Such pieces are compilation of information, presentationof research findings, analyses of facts or vanilla reports.There is a writer’s viewpoint and a creative input in themanner of presentation of each piece, and thepersonality of the writer does reflect. But primarily, thewriter has to remain true to the subject matter, ratherthan his own view. Research theses, academic writing,business writing, technical writing all fall under thiscategory .  It is a challenge to remain objective, and thebattle is to limit the impact of your own perspective, onthe piece written. One has to be careful, to not crossover into the realms of fiction.

Creative Writing

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Creative writing is liberal, and is also gut-wrenching.One has to experience a situation, fully live it inside thehead, distance oneself from it, and then, present it in anacceptable manner, for others to comprehend easily. Itis an internal reflection on the external world – imagesthat are absorbed, are processed, and the edited outputthat results. Confessional writing, self-descriptive writing, thinly disguised fictional writing  and memoirs all fallunder this realm. Poetry enjoys a higher degree offreedom, in creative expression, though. The piecesneed to be structured and tailored to the targetaudience. It is a bigger challenge, to not hurtsensibilities of others in the process of self-expression .The sensitized reader is quick to catch the points, wherethe internal ends, and the external begins.

Narcissism

Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity oregotistic admiration of one's own attributes.

Source : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism

Self-projection has become a necessity, in theincreasingly cacophonous and claustrophobic world.One has to do it, primarily to prevent getting lost, andthen, to make oneself heard. Hence, I am wary of usinga blanket description to cover all signs of narcissism inwriters. I believe, there were no mirrors or cameralenses to help Narcissus, but an excessive presence ofthese devices in the modern world has changed life.Social media exposes the narcissist, like it has neverhappened in the bygone eras. It is a common mirror, in

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which the members of a community see their reflections,and see how others react to their own reflections.

I found this heart-wrenching image of the inability of aperson to cover up. It is all out there, open andvulnerable.

carlotta june 2007

The following behavior patterns on social media looksuspiciously narcissistic :

• Including photographs or portraits of self, some ofwhich might be controversial, especially, in case ofwomen.

• Creating a coterie of cheerleaders.

• Lavishing praise on a piece, with emphasis on thefact, that it was an offshoot of their ideas.

• Promoting mediocre talent with the intent of creatingan army of obliged admirers.

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• Intermittent declarations of leaving a network, havingpeople cajole them into staying on, and then, notgoing anywhere.

• Aggressive attacks on opposing points of view.

Narcissists will always be drawn to artistic expressions,as it allows them to give a form to their illusions ordelusions about themselves.

The possibility of artistic success is particularlyseductive to the narcissist because of the socialconstruct of genius.  The idea of ‘genius’encapsulates the quintessence of narcissism-someone who is touched by the gods and who caneffortlessly achieve great things. – GayatriChakravorty Spivak

But the sensitive reader will always know the difference.Any artistic expression does not hit the target, unlessthe viewer is able to relate to it. This reality shouldremain at the core of every social media expression,including those who are not writers or artists.

external link(s):1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanity2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egotistic3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism

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COACHINGSaturday 12 December 2015

________________

What is ‘coaching’ ?

Is it training? No. Training is imparting knowledge,andragogy, helping adults develop skills through observation and experience.

Is it mentoring ? No. Mentoring is letting a person belowyour stature benefit from your knowledge andexperience, and being there with the mentee, in his/herjourney towards success.

I see the picture of an onion, cabbage or decorativelights in my mind. No… this is not for a table or partydecoration. I see the human mind, being peeled layer bylayer, revealing all its strengths, weaknesses, fears anddreams. I see a light moving through different parts ofthe brain, illuminating hitherto unknown and unseenaspects. The connections created by this process, leadto the formation of a new picture. The thinkers find thesolutions or insights they were looking for. These wouldnot be of much value, without application andimplementation.  The learner needs to reach the goalwithin a specified time, within his resources and withoutany damaging impact on others.

“Enter the Coach” in the picture. He is the Handholdertaking the learner ( hereafter referred to as ‘coachee’)through the mental process, by asking relevant and

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leading questions, and facilitating pathways of thought.He is also

the Monitor to ensure that you act on the intentions in adefined framework of time and resources, helping you torevise goals and plans if needed. The two copper wiresin an electric cable illuminate the space around you.Reverse them, and energy gradually dissipates. If theradio waves in the sky are picked up by a receiver with amatching frequency, it creates soulful music. If thefrequencies do not match, it creates unpleasant sounds.The coach facilitates the harmony and unity of all relatedelements, to ensure delivery of the desired outcomes.

What the Coach is not ? The Coach is not an advisor,not a mentor, not a trainer, not an educator, not aspiritual guru. The Coach is totally non-judgemental,refrains from expressing his views or opinions onanything. If the coach has a story, that can help puttinga framework on the coachee’s thoughts, he will narrateit. But if the story is identical or contradictory to thecoachee’s experience, it will not be used. The Coach isonly a facilitator, who puts a structure to your thoughtpattern.

How ? By asking questions, by creating varied mentalpictures, by reframing paradigms, by paraphrasing youranswers to re-confirm and emphasize. The languagewould by and large be as follows :

• I am curious to know …

• Is that what you are thinking about ?

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• Would you help me in reframing this ?

• What do you think will enhance …. ?

• What do you think can be an obstruction ?

• Can you think of any other resources to support yourgoals ?

Then, why does a person need a coach ? They need acompanion to travel with them, and take them to theirdestination with minimum interruptions. They needsomeone to ensure that intentions are converted toaction plans, action plans to time-bound activity plans ina logical pattern, after taking into consideration all theexternal and internal resources and impact on theimmediate environment. They need somebody to helpthem develop on their innate strengths, and utilizeavailable resources. They help in re-inventing a person.

Every person needs to overcome some cognitivebiases :

• The Escalation of Commitment

The tendency for people to continue to supportpreviously unsuccessful endeavors.

• Hyperbolic Discounting

The tendency to accept a smaller gain in the short term,rather than wait for a bigger gain. The “ A bird in thehand is better than nine in a bush” syndrome.

• Reactance or Rebellion

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Reactance is the urge to do the opposite of whatsomeone wants you to do out of a need to resist aperceived attempt to constrain your freedom of choice. Itmay not always be in your best interest.

• Herd mentality

Herd mentality is the tendency to adopt the opinions andfollow the behaviors of the majority to feel safer and toavoid conflict. This may be detrimental to your owninterest.

• Self-fulfilling Prophecy

Self-fulfilling prophecy is engaging in behaviors thatobtain results, which confirm existing attitudes. One cannever break new ground with this.

• Gamblers’ fallacy

The Gambler’s fallacy is the tendency to think that futureprobabilities are altered by past events, when in reality,they are not.

Coaching helps in elimination of these fallacies, toreveal a clear path of action.

TYPES OF COACHING

• Executive Coaching

This could be for the star performers to help themdeliver better, the ones in a transition phase, the keyexecutives to manage a crucial project, or anybody themanagement views as  suitable.

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• Business Coaching

This is for helping the executives hone their skills, andeliminate all mental roadblocks for high achievements inbusiness. Applicable to all business heads.

• Career Coaching

This is to help employees smoothly glide over variousphases of their career.

• Leadership Coaching

To help leaders evolve appropriate leadership styles.

• Life Coaching

This is for individuals who think they need a guide andpartner, in transitional or life-changing situations.

• Health and Wellness Coaching

This includes health, fitness as well as spiritualitydevelopment.

skills needed to be a competent coach

The skills that a competent coach will need, other than aprofessional certification will be :

• A good sales strategy

• Effective networking

• Emotional intelligence

• Persuasive skills

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• Awareness of the Johari Window Concept – the fourquadrants on how we see ourselves, and how theworld sees us.

• Awareness of Learning Theories - Kolb’s ExperientialLearning, Stages of Learning, Multiple Intelligencetheory, Classical Theory of Learning, Bloom’sHierarchy and Sensory Learning Preferences.

• Application of the learning theories to build a betterconnect with the client, and facilitating his thinkingwithout advice from the coach. The differencebetween coaching and training is always to be bornein mind, but the learning matters.

• Deciphering body language.

• Excellent communication skills.

• Refraining from giving advice at any step in thecoaching process.

THE COACHING PROCESS

The coaching process broadly consists of the followingsteps, though the methodologies can be modified as perthe need of the situation.

• Identification of the desired outcome

• Spelling out details of the desired outcome.

• Checking commitment level.

• Understanding steps taken so far.

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• Identifying the internal and external blocks

• Identifying the greatest individual strength and theexternal resources.

• Understanding the impact of success and failure onself and others.

• Visualization exercise.

• Action Plan.

• Chunking down steps in the action plan, with a timeframe.

• Responsibility and Accountability

• Checking commitment level to execute the actionplan.

Summing it up as follows :

Thoughts à Words à Intentions à Actions à PositiveHabits à Success

IS EVERYBODY COACHABLE ?

No. The giver cannot give, unless the receiver is willingto receive. Certain people are not open to acceptingsuggestions, or acting on a plan. Some are in thecoaching session, since it is sponsored by the companyor someone else. The coach can lead a horse to thewater, not force him to drink it. Non-coachability ismostly due to the following reasons :

• Seeking validation of their beliefs

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• Seeking sympathy for their victimization by others.

• A previous experience which did not work

Both the parties are at liberty to terminate the coachingarrangement, if they see no benefit ensuing from it.

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21 APPLICATIONS OFCOACHING

Saturday 12 December 2015

________________

The Industrial Society says: "Coaching is the art offacilitating the performance, learning and developmentof another."

Fortune Magazine says: "One to one performancecoaching is the way for both organisations andindividuals to significantly impact the bottom line."

Coaching is defined as a context-free tool, and hasfascinated me immensely. It does not need subjectmatter expertise, and yet, holds the potential to helppeople unlock their potential. It is tool for self-discovery,which can be applied in almost any sphere of life.

Coaching does not work in the following situations, andboth the client and coach are free to withdraw at anypoint :

• The client is closed, rigid, unwilling, derivessatisfaction from proving others’ wrong and placesthe onus of change and initiative on others.

• Non-supportive organizations with a leadership thatobstructs change, and do not allow implementationof changed working patterns.

• Unexpected, disruptive changes in the externalenvironment.

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• Absence of a functioning feedback system thatallows measuring and evaluating the change.

• Anything that can invite strong legalor constitutionalrepercussions.

Where does coaching work ? In all situations other thanthose mentioned above.

Coaching for Survival - People going through any kindof transition in life –whether planned or imposed, willneed help in sailing through it.

Coaching for Excellence is about  bringing out the bestin a person, tailored to a specific goal

Some applications are listed below :

Business applications

• Financial coaching

This can be used in Private Banking to deviseclient-specific solutions about retirement planning,getting out of debt, multiplying wealth, estate planning,insurance needs, determination of risk etc.

This can be used by Finance Heads of companies todetermine the long and short-term organizational goals,and devising business, financial and accounting plans.

• Business coaching

This is for every entrepreneur, Business Head, ProductHead to devise action plans tailored to the Key Result

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Areas. It helps in creating the right affiliations andcollaborations.

• Sales and Productivity Coaching

This is used to devise sales activity plans,  resourceactivation,  awareness of external constraints andknowing how to work around them.

• Executive Coaching

This is normally sponsored by the organization, toextract maximum performance from the employees, andas a tool of retention.

• Career coaching for employees

This is not mentoring or grooming people for success. Itis helping them devise suitable strategies and actionplans for success ( promotions, job changes, careertransitions etc.). It also helps them in accepting whatcannot be changed, and developing a positive mindset.

• Employees working in multinationalenvironments across different time zones andcultures.

A constant realignment, readjustment of waking andworking hours is needed. They need to manage theirpersonal and social relationships amidst all the chaos.

• Entrepreneurship Coaching

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This is all about resource planning and utilization, salesplanning, right mental attitude and impeccableawareness of the external environment.

Social applications

• Social workers and employees in social serviceorganizations

This could be an individual or a group of individuals,working in rural management, financial inclusion,education, employment generation, upliftment of womenetc. They face roadblocks at every step and need boosters to stay on the path, based on their professionalchoice and personal value system.

• Patients

This can be done in collaboration with hospitals anddoctors, for patients in the clutches of terminal diseases,or those undergoing long drawn out therapies. This canalso help victims of abuse and violence , which leavethem physically and psychologically scarred.

• Religious converts or disciples

They need to develop a motivation to follow a code ofconduct, a way of life and alignment to the religiousprinciples.

• Prisoners and convicts

They need to return to a preferably normal way of life.  ASWOT analysis, repercussions of continued unlawful

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actions and the benefits of a law-abiding citizen’s lifeneed to be understood and accepted by the convicts.

• The victims of natural disasters

They have narrowly escaped death, and need to re-startlife from scratch. People need a lot of motivation andclarity of thought , in their weakest moments.

• Immigrants to different countries/cultures

A massive reorientation and realignment in thethought-process and lifestyle is needed. This includesmigrants from rural to urban/metropolitan areas in thesame country, or students moving to the premierinstitutions such as IITs/IIMs, where performancepressure is high.

Individual applications

• Individuals seeking weight-loss or cosmetictransformations

The need for these treatments usually stems from a lowself esteem. Coaching can help the individual inachieving maximum benefits from the beauty/medicaltreatments, building a positive body image, andaccepting what cannot be changed.

• Retired or About-to-retire individuals.

This is a transitional stage in life. The persons mightneed support in helping them devise suitable lifestyles,financial plans and social or family realignment.

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• De-addiction cases

This would stop at a level below therapy. A coach canhelp the addict realize the causes and consequences ofstaying addicted, and the benefits of moving towards anon-toxic, de-addicted life.

• Career coaching for students

Students are at a very raw and sensitive stage in life.They lack experience, and are at a stage, where thedecisions taken, can catapult them to success, or doomthem to failure. A coach can help them in an effectiveSWOT Analysis, and deriving an action plan.

• “Empty-nesters”.

Parents are in a transition stage after the children havedeveloped their own lives and moved out. They need arealignment to living for themselves.

• Couples in long-distance relationships

They need to make a success of the relationship, byaccepting the limitations imposed by the situation and aligned to each other.

• Newly divorced individuals

This is about acceptance of their single status, singleparent status after a break-up, and preparing the groundfor the next relationship, if a person so desires.

• The Bereaved

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These are the people separated from their loved ones (family, friends, lovers or pets), by the force of Death,and need to get used to a life without them.

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WHY IS COACHINGEFFECTIVE ?

Saturday 12 December 2015

________________

In one of the workshops I attended, I was given a deckof 75 cards, and asked to pull out one. The valuementioned on the card was supposed to give me thedirection, that the universe wanted me to take for theday or hour. Closer inspection revealed that all 75 cardshad positive values (like honesty, tact, understanding,compassion etc.) printed on them. All the 75 values puttogether may well constitute the essence of positivity inthe world. It was a commendable effort to pull out oneaspect of the good within us, and let it flow freely in theuniverse.

Pulling out a card every morning did not make the worldan idyllic place. The universe was not returning thefavours. I thought about all the positive values that Igrew up with, and lived by, before setting my eyes onthis deck of cards. I could sense a lot of black holes inthe universe,  that had swallowed up the energy. Did itreturn Something or Nothing ? What was it doing with allthe positive, negative and neutral vibes that it wasreceiving for aeons ? Where was the Processor ?

Eureka! There was my answer. The micro-processorinside me was creating the miniscule universe aroundme. And there were innumerable micro-processors

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around me, which created different results with differentinteractions.

What was my micro-processor made of ?

• The values imbibed from the environment I grew upin.

• My experiments in application of those values, andthe conclusions from those.

• Selective reinforcement of some values, whichbecame beliefs, behavior patterns, attitude and thenpersonality.

• The interaction with several personalities, each ofwhich had gone through a similar, but uniqueprocess.

• The absence of a positive value, became a negativevalue. Hence, there were as many negative valuesas positive. Black is not a color. It is just the absenceof reflection of light from the surface. White is theresult of total reflection. All the colours that weperceive are created by selective absorption of light.

And also reflections and reactions to the outer world.

• The filters were the ratios that I experienced, whichcolored my view of the universe.

• The choices that I made created my social,professional, political and online circles. Thesecircles undergo a constant churning, guided by themicroprocessor inside me.

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The innumerable microprocessors around me havecreated a very chaotic world. The problem lies in a totalabsence of real-time responses from the universe. If Isee it quick enough, it reinforces the value. If I don’t , Ireplace it with something else.

The concept of Time has been a subject of research forlong. Do the past, present and future co-exist ?  I don’tcare, and I can’t wait. I know that my life has a limitedspan, and I create my reality with the limited awarenessthat I have.  The Universe has not equipped me with alarger processor. Hence, I create my own concepts andapply them in my unique way. All Philosophy andReligion is an effort to induce harmony for the perceivedlarger good, but at the cost of my own. Hence, it doesnot cut ice with me.

The solution for every problem thus, needs to becustomized to suit my needs. And, this is wherecoaching scores over training and education. It does notpreach, it does not teach. It gives you an insight intoyour own microprocessor, and helps you in realigning itto your micro-universe, to yield results that suits yourneeds.

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3

GROUP DYNAMICS

The Power of theGoddess

Friday 7 October 2016

________________

The discussion started with a post in a women’s group,and ballooned into a meaningful dialogue, highlightingdifferent perspectives. I felt compelled to share this on awider platform, to invite further views.

The participants in the discussion are from diversebackgrounds:

• Garima Srivastava, a lawyer in Delhi.

• Prachika Saxena, Director-HR, Crowne Plaza,Ahmedabad.

• Mani Kant, Professor of English in Ujjain (MP).

• Reena Saxena , Self

Reena

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Is Maa Durga (a Hindu Goddess) a manifestation of thismindset? History shows feminine power beingawakened, when revenge was called for, after a bout ofrepression. We need to glorify proactivity, instead ofreactivity.

Garima

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Oppression triggers reactivity. Mythologically, MaaDurga was an oppressed householder, before she said ‘Enough ’. Proactivity may not necessarily be triggeredby oppression. It calls for awareness and foresight andresistance, on a routine basis as opposed to reactivity.

The most powerful Gods and Goddesses areessentially destroyers; whether Durga, Kali, Shiva orKrishna unlike Laxmi, Saraswati, Vishnu, Brahma,who are worshipped as Creators or Preservers.They don’t negotiate with the oppressors.

Feminine energy is almost always equated withpatience, endurance, sacrifice, the nurture principle,compassion and ability to basically put up with glorifiednonsense. The women’s sexuality is stripped off, bysymbolically worshipping her as ‘Maa’ (Mother), and itsvariants. Any deviation from this archetype projects herin a bad light.

No wonder men get confused when they come acrossgirls who don’t fit traditional stereotypes. If a father hasan extramarital affair, he faces resentment, but themother has to face shame, as well.

Reena

I agree that men in present times, are confused. Theycannot decide whether to play the Protector, Provider,Master or a Partner, and are compelled to switch roles.

Women who have grown under a benevolent malementor, are lauded as achievers. A woman who fights

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her way to the top, is labelled aggressive, and hits theglass ceiling.

The world will not change a mind-set that suits them,unless they are compelled to. Quiet achievement is oneway of doing it, other than the retaliatory ‘Durga’ energythat the system induces. It takes a much longer time,and most of us give up, somewhere on the way. Thereare safer havens available with financial security. Andthis reinforces the image of women not treating a careeras a lifelong mission. They were not allowed to do so,without a mentor. And to have a godfather, one needs toaccept someone as God, which is not an easyproposition.

It is all a complex web, to be dealt with, from multipleangles.

Garima

Your analysis has hit the nail on the head. Have no ideaof other professions but in my profession, women arekicking ass, despite the persistent threat of sexualharassment, prejudice in judicial appointments anddisparity in pay. Sadly, very few women lawyers aresupportive of fellow women lawyers in terms ofmentoring  and motivation. That leaves me with thislesson – DIY. The only encouragement I have everreceived, is from a few male judges. Guess they arewired or brought up to be protective, in a predominantlyhostile environment for women. Would I want to let go oftheir support? No. Let more women into the workforce,and I am very sure the scenario will change. 99%will

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bullshit, talk us down, seek to invalidate ourachievements, but the 1% who stand by us, will matterat the end of the day.

A long time ago, my mother told me “I don’t think youhave it in you (to become a lawyer)”. A female lawyer Iassisted a few years ago, was of the same opinion.They are not recognised lawyers anyway, so thesedisparaging comments did not discourage me, and afew words of encouragement from eminent peoplesufficed to neutralise the humiliation. Will the increase ofwomen in the workforce, create a better workenvironment for women? I don’t think so.

Prachika

Women who have made it big, have at some point challenged the traditional societal setup. A good mentor and/or a supportive team are more often than not, a short-lived affair. At the end of the day, women need to have the grit to move forward. The only solution is to

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induct more and more women into boards. It will helpwomen get rid of sexist jokes, undermining calibre andhelp them earn due respect. A man earns plaudits withpowerful words, but a woman needs to go throughexecution of the task, maybe multiple times, to bebranded an asset. Often women are given tasks muchlower than their potential. In my view, women arecomparatively more balanced and professional,natural multi-taskers and make simultaneous use ofhead and heart. Women are more far sighted, andweigh stakes before committing. Men often take thisas a battle of brain or balls.

Hiring of an executive assistant is often limited to beautyof a lesser sex, who will meekly give in to odd requestsand trivial jobs. A man might resist. Suppression willbackfire into oppression, with more like minded womenfollowing suit. Movies like ‘Parched’ bear testimony tosuch theories.

Reena

Prachika. I respectfully disagree on the ‘more women inthe workforce’ theory, unless they support each other.Women are serious about their loyalty to a boss ormentor, and this trait is exploited to serve vestedinterests. Male bonding is driven by common businessinterests, and leveraged to their mutual benefit. Mendecide how to conduct the meeting, before reaching theboardroom, maybe, over a drink the previous evening.Women take pride in coming and leaving on time, andmiss out on the decision-making process. Women canbe driven by an erroneous sense of righteousness in

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doing their job well, not realizing that they have turnedinto puppets.

Feminine power is also exercised through subtlemanipulation – charm, dedication, loyalty, bossmanagement… rather than taking something head on.The former is seen as Power, and the latter Aggression.It is almost as if men enjoy being manipulated. Awoman’s power has to be a ‘gift’ from them, not a matterof right.

Garima

I don’t think that the word ‘aggression’ has a pejorativeconnotation. The more women bother about theselabels, the more they will suffer these operativeprejudices, if a man’s aggression is justified, so is awoman’s.

Men always snatch credit for the success of a woman,and women are often heard saying this “I couldn’t havedone this without the support of my hubby”. If shedeclares that she made it on her own, she is labelledarrogant. Across the board, the attempt is to deprivewomen of their agency, whether by attributing theirsuccess to manipulation, or the necessary male supportin their achievements.

Mani

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I agree with you to disagree. Every woman is asubdued “DURGA”, but is unaware of the latentforce . IMO, elements of envy, resentment and rivalrydo exist amongst women, in varying degrees. It is thewoman who suppresses, harasses and ill-treats those ofher own ilk. The support comes from a male,compassionate benefactor.

Rebellion always arises from oppression. A woman whois mocked at, ill-treated and insulted, becomes aware ofher latent energy, resistance and power, and claims herhuman rights. Durga is activated after undergoing thisprocess. Humiliation propels her on the path to Success.Only those women who challenge the traditions, anddefy social norms are ACHIEVERS. She builds a career,and furthers the cause by helping her family and society.

Yet I would say that they do need a Male Mentor - afather, friend, husband or any such associate.  Take myexample – a malevolent MIL derided my meagre

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household management skills, and held the view thatacademics will not help me in life. It was my husband,whose encouragement and support have made me whatI am today.

I therefore, disagree with a few of us. A woman in ourSociety cannot achieve anything alone. She needs malesupport --- as women don’t help. There is no competitionwith a man, as we complete each other.

Reena

This takes the conversation back to the starting point. Women have had to battle it out, both at work and home, and that constitutes Reactivity. This could be the undeniable truth for a large part of the female population. The initiative of identifying our reality, and charting the path forward is our own. At the same time, supporting those who can benefit from our help is also a responsibility, which we cannot shirk. The good guys have been shaped by the women in their lives. As they

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say, the finest men in the world are always married.They have experienced the female point of view.

Personally for me, Proactivity stems from the courage tosay No to inconvenient arrangements. It is not aboutchoosing between a career and home, intellectual tasksand drudgery, aggressive or passive roles. It is choosing‘I want’ over ‘I should’. It is just about doing what Ibelieve in, and that is more of individualism, thanfeminism.

The least that an emancipated woman can do, is togenerate further discussion and enlighten others. Andthat was the effort behind this piece.

Those who wish to contribute to further discussions arewelcome to contact me (both guys and gals) :)

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The Fourth Dimension -SpaceTime

Saturday 5 November 2016

________________

Sara Jacobovici, Creative Arts Therapist, has alwaysbeen a friend, guide and mentor. It was her blog onSynchronicity, (Link : https://www.bebee.com/producer/@sara-jacobovici/synchronicity-or-being-in-time) that isthe prelude to this discussion.  She answers myquestions here, with her characteristic patience. And Ifelt myself running short of blog space. So, over to Sarawithout wasting further time and words.

RS: I experience synchronicity practically every day,in small ways, such that mentioning it soundsstupid. I cannot always tell people, that I wasthinking of them, when they called, as it sounds sofake. And yet, I know my truth.

SJ: As sensory beings, we receive input all the time. Each of us forms our own filtering system; how much are we open to receiving, letting in, how much are we choosing to be aware in a conscious (and conscientious) manner. I consider time as a sense. As synchronicity is related to time, the information communicated through this sense, is based on what we allow to permeate our basic five senses. The people who choose to block this information, or are not conscious of it, may respond in a negative or judgmental way to someone who is  sharing the experience of

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synchronicity.  I am encouraged, Reena, that you do notallow individual reactions to influence your experience,and what you know to be true.

RS: From your article, I interpret that synchronicitycould mean that the cause and effect takes place indifferent zones, and there is an underlying rhizomethat connects. What has always baffled me is that,why do we NOT get a response at times? Iunderstand now, that no response is also aresponse. It is an indication that we should changedirection.

SJ : We are still proving Einstein’s theory that time isrelative and that time and space are not separate butexist as space-time, the Fourth Dimension. Giving creditwhere it’s due: Einstein did not quite finish the job ofpresenting his theory of relativity as, what is referred to,the Fourth Dimension. That space and time could beseen as components of a single four-dimensionalspace-time fabric came from Hermann Minkowski, whoannounced it in a 1908 colloquium with these words:

Henceforth, space by itself, and time by itself, aredoomed to fade away into mere shadows, and only akind of union of the two will preserve anindependent reality.

In this way Reena, synchronicity takes place not only ina time zone, but an area of space or place. That is whywe can actually look at changing directions; theexperience is not fixed in any way.

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Absolutely, “no response is also a response”. As Mozartsaid:

“ The music is not in the notes, but in the silencebetween.”

RS: Time is a framework that we superimpose onreality, to make it more relevant to our life.

SJ : You give us more credit than I would, Reena. Youdescribe, in a poetic way, what I think we do in order tofeel more in control, as a result of “sensing” time assomething that is out of our control; we measure it, withdevices we have crafted. We do the same thing whenwe create opposites. In both our personal andprofessional lives, it is more manageable to work withideas, strategies, plans, goals, relationships, feelingsand so on, if we place them in an opposite: Life/Death;Good/Evil; Right/Wrong; Pleasure/Pain; Love/Hate;Beautiful/Ugly; Rich/Poor; Success/Failure; to name justa few.

These states, however useful they are in organizingourselves, do not exist; they have been created by us to

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help make sense of who we are, in relation to others,and our environment.

Opposites, as adjectives, describe, “a position on theother or further side of something; diametrically different;of a contrary kind.” This adjective can be applied as ameans to clarify a part of a whole but is not accurate if itis to define a place that is separate or distinct fromanother.

So, instead of being in time, we create that framework totry to contain time.

RS: That brings so much of clarity, Sara.  But thecomplexity lies in the seeming irreversibility ofcertain phenomena -- like aging and death, andhence, time is seen as finite.

SJ: To experience time as finite is to experience time asfragmented; it starts and stops. This thinking can lead toexperiencing time in a linear manner; it begins and itends. Neither is true from the perspective of time. Thephenomena you mention describe a process (aging) anda state (death). From my perspective both exist as aresult of movement and transformation. In the processof transformation a state will become something elseand no longer have any of the elements of the previousstate, while at other times a new state occurs whenelements of two or more states combine to formsomething new but still retaining elements of the originalstates. I consider myself a process oriented person. Ithink this is one way to prevent getting stuck in time andplace.

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RS: Okay, I get it. It is the body that ends ortransforms, not the time span. I came across aninteresting postulate by Deepak Bidap on LinkedIn,which says that the Living and Non-Living may bealternate states. An analogy has been drawn withliquid and solid states, and the conversion of oneinto another. Physicists say that solids are just adenser form of energy, compared to liquids andgases.

The poor communication between the present andfuture, also makes it incomprehensible to the average mind. It takes a seer to reach there, andthen, come back and talk about it. Those whosucceed in implanting a part of the future in theworld, they presently inhabit, are lauded asvisionaries.

SJ : Fear makes communication poor andincomprehensible. Fear is a strong factor in preventingus from seeing beyond what is right in front of our eyes.The fear of the unknown holds us back from becomingvisionaries.

RS: And the fear has been labelled as the ‘beauty ofsuspense’. Aren’t we all in a suspended state,awaiting transformation, but unaware that we areundergoing the same, every moment?

The movement of the Sun is used as a measure oftime, as it impacts life on this planet, directly andvisibly. Do other planets use the Sun as a reference

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point, or some other relative movement influencestheir sense of Time?

SJ: Movement and speed are what influence ourperception of time, and actually influence its relativity.Einstein's theory of relativity says that time slows downor speeds up depending on how fast you move relativeto something else (reference points).  The relativity isactually measurable; approaching the speed of light, aperson inside a spaces hip would age much slower thanhis twin at home.

Because the sun’s movement is experienced asconstant and predictable, we depend on it as thereference point you mention. I am not able to “shed anylight” on what other planets use, but definitelymovement would be the key element in influencingany measurement of time.

RS: Yes. I have come across the Twins ParadoxTheory and the Doppler Effect, with a lot ofmathematical calculations.  There is an equalamount of criticism of the theory. But. Einstein doesenlarge the canvas of thinking, to include outerspace.

Is synchronicity a function of communication on alarger canvas, beyond the five known senses?

SJ : Definitely. Communication takes place constantly on every level and system; be it on a cellular level or in the newly discovered sound of a gravitational wave.

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Vibration (movement) is the carrier which enables thecommunication to take place.

I love your use of the image of communication takingplace on a larger canvas; synchronicity definitelyproduces the brush strokes of communication on thatcanvas. In this way each image formed or created is aunique experience based on the elements involved atthe time the synchronicity took place.

RS: Is there some form of energy that has not yetbeen discovered and defined by physicists, andhence, we are unable to decipher the theorycompletely? Like the proverbial black holes?

SJ : Much more is out there yet to be discoveredcompared to what we have been able to discover todate. And yes, only parts of the picture are clear at thispoint. We are filling in the missing pieces with ourimagination. The paradox is that it is this imagination ofwhat we have yet to discover that becomes the catalystfor discovery.

RS: Fully agree. Are some of us more attuned tothese universal signals than others?

SJ : I believe so. It takes us back to that filter we form orcreate. A sensory filter is definitely necessary but this isthe piece that makes the difference between being moreattuned or not. Because the filter is a protective device,if we mistakenly interpret something as a threat (maybebecause of the fear of the unknown), we risk closingourselves off to more than is necessary.

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RS: Is the occult just a connection to other parts ofthe universe? Maybe it is, but the quacks have madeit look so ridiculous.

SJ : Science today is constantly “proving” what manyprofessionals have already known or some were able toimagine; anything from the impact music has on ourphysiology to gravitational waves. Unfortunately, thereare quacks in all disciplines who give the theoreticalframework of that discipline a bad name; until sciencecomes along and proves the real professionals right.

Then you have the challenges of what connotations aword has or holds; occult has a history that doesn’tmake it popular to the masses. In time (pun intended) asscience supplies some necessary validity to some ofthese challenging concepts, those connotations willchange.

RS: Music is of course, your forte. Incidentally, Icame across a confirmation by NASA, of the theorythat human beings can survive on solar energy. It istaken in through the lower line of the eye, one hourafter sunrise, or an hour before sunset, when theintensity is unlikely to damage the retina. One needsto start with just 10 seconds at a time.

On that note, Sara, I thank you for being a wonderfulcompanion, on this path of discovery. Though thebiggest human handicap is the loss of memory ondeath, I hope that I leave this world a little wiser,than I have been for times immemorial.

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Cafe Gyaan - A Chat withMukund Bhokarkar

Sunday 16 October 2016

________________

We are in a conversation with Mukund Bhokarkar, aVadodara-based professional,  who proposes to bringtogether similar minds in the consulting, training andcoaching professions through his initiative Cafe Gyaan.

Reena

Mukund, Thank you for your initiative in creating aforum for intellectuals. I have been thoroughlyenjoying the discussions and bonhomie, for thepast few weeks.

I have had a different observation on intellectuals,so far. There is no intellectual community as such.One sees islands of excellence, feeling smug andself-sufficient in their ivory towers, whereas thepower-hungry join hands to create impenetrablebastions to protect their interests.

What is your take on this?

Mukund

I have created this forum with a hind sight. Individualswith a shared pragmatic approach, that arises out ofsheer experience and exposure; notwithstanding theireducational background, intellect or smartness, shallcome together. The idea struck, after I experienced two

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such communities in succession, prior to creating CafeGyaan.  I have opted out of one, and continue to be apart of the other. What I experienced at large was aprevalent stiffness, bordering on secrecy and silence. Itwas understandable, but also avoidable to an extent.Café Gyaan is a concept born out of that grail. We arestill at a very nascent stage, and the ice has not beencompletely broken.

How and when will it happen? I don’t know. But it willhappen for sure. Once everybody opens up to anappreciable extent, pretentiousness and inhibitions willfall on the wayside. We need time, maybe, a fewmonths. And I know it can happen. It will. I have made itpossible earlier.

We have members with a strong self-identity and image.The differences are superficial, and that is totallyacceptable. Believe me, with passage of time, they shallbond. To give an analogy, once we become the organsof a body, we shall relate and grasp the possibilities ofthis group’s potential. At this stage, we do not evencome close to being tissues. We are still at a cellularlevel.

Reena

What I hear you saying, Mukund, is that a randombunch of ideologies and intellects, will evolve into aproductive force to be reckoned with. I am not sure,if this method will be close to evolution ofgroupthink, or cherry-picking the best to create abouquet. What I do see is a potential to customize a

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product to suit the market, with the talent poolavailable. Social media certainly facilitates andspeedens up interactions.

How do you think your initiative “Café Gyaan“ asdifferent from regular entertainment groups?

Mukund

As I said, Cafe Gyaan is different because of a thumbrule that I insist upon. Members will have an industryexperience of minimum two decades, excluding the timespent in training and coaching. You must haveobserved, that neither do I encourage copy paste, norsharing of  good morning/good evening messages. Wehave survived. Over passage of time, we will chisel ouridentity and create unique fingerprints. Gradually, we willeliminate copy/paste/share/forward messagescompletely. Only self-authored posts will be permitted.Its utility and worth shall then be self evident.

Reena

I completely agree, that writing compels us to putour thoughts together in a comprehensible andcomprehensive manner. It is very different from thetidbits of information that we are flooded with,which need a separate effort to connect the dots.

Given the central push on Skill Development, andthe disjointed demand-supply scenario, what kind ofsynergies do you foresee emerging in the nextdecade?

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Mukund

Workforce training will transform into shapingindividuals. It should take at least a decade. Butindividuals shall be custom skill-developed, in fitmentwith their utility in the system. Today, we areexperiencing a mass eviction of workforce from factoriesand companies. A new age will dawn in thenot-so-distant future, when the parent will decide how itschild is supposed to be shaped. The offspring will needto fit into a jigsaw puzzle, having limited open spaceswith a pre-determined shape.

Synergy? That is wishful thinking. Life has alreadybeen progressively rendered complicated, byanything that Technology evolves. Synergy ispossible only when there is Symbiosis.

An unknown future awaits us, with Artificial Intelligenceand machinations.

Reena

What is your take on artificial intelligence? To whatextent can it replace the power of human discretionand choice? Mortals like me take some time tominimise the adverse impact of AutoCorrect. Whatkind of reskilling initiatives will be needed to survivein the emerging scenario?

Mukund

Many functions can be mimicked, but total replacementis impossible. Because Human ‘thinking’ is subject to

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emotional bias, and non probability-driven judgments;hence can err. To err is human. Machine Thinking shallnot ‘err’. We have a ray of hope there.

The ability to err, and Unpredictability shall be thetwo major identifiable human factors which an AImachine (thinking) shall never be able to clone.

Custom honing of job related skills shall be the call ofthat era. I cannot pinpoint exactly as to which skills. Notvisible today. It shall be too distant.

Reena

To sum up, shall I say that our generation stands onthe edge of a revolution?

“We were not born into this, and we do not havecomplete control over an overwhelmingphenomenon. But we do have the privilege of beingthe early shapers and adapters”.

Thanks for being with us on Dynamics. I hope that wewill be partners in various phases of a very interestingjourney ahead.

Those who wish to be a part of Café Gyaan can contactMukund Bhokarkar, on the given coordinates.

https://in.linkedin.com/in/mukund-bhokarkar-bb32141a

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Digital Banking - A Chatwith Niraj Verma on

DynamicsSaturday 19 November 2016

________________

Niraj Verma is a senior consultant in the bankingtechnology space. He is a banker, ideator, trainer, anartist and a writer. He introduced himself in a ratherinteresting manner, which I share here – “You areof course right when you say my profile is all over theplace and difficult to slot. I have always beenuncomfortable with conforming and reluctant to fit into amold. I guess, that makes it difficult to find a regularsmooth-sided hole for this oddly shaped peg”.

RS:

Hi, Niraj. Welcome to Dynamics.

The nation has been abuzz with demonetization anddigital talk in the last few days. Fintech is the sectorcelebrating more than anyone else, as the futurelooks bright. At the same time, it is not without itschallenges. What is your perspective on the overallemerging scenario?

EnV:

Hi, Reena. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to sharemy views.

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When we listen carefully to the chatter on digital moneyor FinTech with particular reference toDemonetization-2016, we find there are two distinct setsof people who are talking loudly.

• those who are active players in the FinTech spacewould like to take advantage of the emergingsituation, to increase their market share, and

• those who are trying to downplay the chaos byextolling the supposed virtues of digital money. Theycallously ridicule the genuine problems of a largesection of population.

The first set is engaged in genuine businessdevelopment, which is absolutely fine. My problem iswith the second set. These commentators come fromrelatively affluent sections of society, and are financialand tech-savvy. They are grossly ignorant, if notdownright dismissive, of day-to-day problems faced bythe less fortunate.

When the FI initiatives started during UPA rule,conservative estimates of unbanked population stood atroughly 45%. Current estimates put the figure at about30%. In addition, there are urban poor and lower middleclass who can at best be classified as under-banked.They would be about 15%-20% of the population. Thatshould tell anyone that about 45%-50% of thepopulation, even as on date, is simply not in a positionto adapt to a cashless digital economy.

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Demonetization-2016, its ill-planned rollout and theconsequent transactional issues would indeed provide apush for higher adoption of digital money. However, thelarger digital spend would come from those who arealready using it in a limited manner, and acceleratedonboarding of some potential  converts, who would haveotherwise shifted in a year or two. Unbanked andunder-banked sections of the society cannot make amagical or significant move to digital money, beforecashless market places become the norm (rather thanthe exception).

Demonetization-2016, on its own , cannot play asignificant role in creation of a cashless economy.

When we talk about fintech, payment technologyproviders like PayTM occupy a disproportionately highvisual share in public perception. Actually, the fintechspace includes a lot more. Yes, Demonetization-2016would certainly accelerate the growth of paymenttechnology companies, but, would not cause a majorimpact on the growth of fintech space in its entirety.

RS : How do you view the Indian challenges onusing digital as a tool of financial inclusion, ascompared to other countries, say Kenya? IMHO, thetechnological challenge lies in having simplifieduser-friendly interfaces in multilingual formats, andinternet education. Existing networks like theFinancial Literacy Centers (FLCs) and InternetSaathi (initiated by Google and Tata Trusts, usingtrained female instructors) can play a pivotal role.But, they need to be integrated in the overall

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financial system, without being captive to a bank orfinancial institution.

EnV:

In 2006, I had developed a branchless banking solutionfor a financial services entity in Venezuela. The solutionwas based purely on the mobile platform. It was fairlysuccessful. Similarly in Kenya, mobile bankingtechnologies have been successfully harnessed for afinancial inclusion initiative.

The linguistic diversity in these countries is much lessthan that in India. That brings us directly to yourobservation about user interfaces in regional languages.While customizing a US CBS (Core Banking system) forinternational clients in China, Thailand and Mexico, alluser interfaces had to be converted to the locallanguages. If you look at CBS solutions implemented incountries like Germany, France, Russia or any EastEuropean country, you will find a non-English interface.

India is one of the few  markets where bankingapplications use an English interface, in sync with thecomfort of the bankers, rather than the end-user.  In thepre-CBS era, I had designed a bilingual total/partialbranch automation application. The solution wasimplemented with English UI in some District CentralCo-operative Banks (DCCBs) in MP/UP, and with HindiUI in some DCCBs in Chhattisgarh. The level ofend-user comfort was higher with the Hindi application.

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UI, SMS texts and alerts should ideally be tailored to theneeds of the intended user-base and device. Theapplication developers have lately, acknowledged theimportance of designing device-specific UI. However,the pivotal role of end-users is yet, not recognized.Given the scale of linguistic diversity in India, I believe,we may have to develop a new pictorial and digitallanguage. Think smileys. Or Fineticons (on the lines ofemoticons).

In India the FI programs have, by and large, focused onopening zero-balance savings accounts, without givingmuch thought to touch points for the new customers.The default touch point for such customers continues toremain the traditional brick-and-mortal outlets. Evenwhen an interface through a Business Correspondenthas been provided, the model supports and promotes acash economy. If the intent was to facilitate a transitionto cashless economy, creating an ecosystem withaccess to alternative channels like net-banking, kioskbanking and mobile banking should have been anintegral component of the drive. It was never part of theplan.

RS: Let us say, we are taking a step-by-stepapproach. A lack of transparency in the entire planis creating a hazy view ……

EnV

Maybe. Lately, the number of mobile connections has been discussed as an indicator of suitability of mobile banking solutions for financial inclusion and the digital

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economy. IMO, the number of connections are grosslyinflated especially with reference to rural andsemi-urban centers. If I were to cite my own example Iam using 4 numbers – 2 for Delhi (Data Plan & VoicePlan) 1 for WiFi & 1 for Kolkata, my wife uses 3numbers (Family, Friends & Work), my elder son uses 3numbers (Work, Personal & WiFi) and my younger sonuses 2 numbers (General & WiFi). That works out to 12numbers for a family of 4, and I have not counted thenumbers that we have stopped using for one reason orother. I’m reasonably certain that the real count ofpersons holding mobile connections would be about60%-70% of the reported connections and most of themwould be found residing in metro & urban centers.

Therefore, we cannot look at mobile banking solutionsonly, as a preferred mode of digitizing FI transactions. Astandard starter kit with a smart card, multipleoptions including agent-initiated-funding, supportfor multiple funds transfer and encashmentmethods, and preactivated mobile banking seems abetter option to enable financial inclusion and adigital economy.

I am not sure of the utility of private initiatives like FLCsand Internet Saathis, primarily because supervisionwould be a major problem. I would rather havestate-certified trained agents who can enter intostandard agreements with multiple BFSI entities. Allreasonably-sized population centers may be served byseveral such agents to ensure adequate competitionand better customer service.

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When you design and operate a system to cater tolow-income groups, cost becomes a critical factor. Youand I may be OK with offsetting additional cost of plasticmoney transactions against inconvenience of going outand cost of fuel/transport; a daily wage laborer would bemore likely to walk a few miles to shop. We need anaggressive FI initiative, rapid adaption of paymenttechnologies and hard-headed rationalization of servicecharges and taxes on plastic money transactions.

Most important, we must remember thatsemi-literate/illiterate, low-earning members of societyderive comfort from physical possession of hard cash.They are weary of banking institutions, due to somediscouraging past experience. We may not be able tobring about an overnight transformation.

RS: However, the change needs to be initiated. Theconcept of a distribution network is changing. Abank outlet will be a device and a box, placed inmaybe a kirana shop.

EnV:

Banking has indeed come a long way from Jesus Christdriving the money-changers out from the Temple.Neither Shylock nor Lala Sukhiram can thrive in thecurrent money-lending scenario. The set of intendedcustomer bases and customer touch points have alsoevolved and changed over a period of time withdevelopment of communication technologies.

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Your example of a device placed in a kirana shop, is aninstance of kiosk banking. You can think of kioskbanking, manned or unmanned, as a variation on theextension counter concept. Another example would betab banking – a mobile extension counter. I amreminded of an advert from a leading bank, promotingits mobile app as a ‘bank branch in your pocket’. Youcould call your smartphone as your very own bankingstreet in the pocket. Technological advances inwearable devices and IOT, would enable bank brancheson your wrists, around your neck housed in a prettynecklace, and any number of household gadgets.

The very objectives of the BFSI sector have changedover a period of time with emergence of social bankingconcepts.

RS:

Social or developmental banking is not so new. Thetechnological angle is the novel factor.

From the upcoming payment banks (PBs) and smallfinance banks (SFBs), some have the advantage of aphysical distribution network, some are cash-richand some telecoms have a deep penetration in theinteriors. The universal banks were compelled toopen 25% of their new branches in unbanked areas,which they might find unviable. How do youvisualize several players functioning on the samefield? Will they have tie-ups, or will the competitionconsume them?

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EnV:

What functionalities differentiate universal banks fromSFBs from PBs, strictly speaking, depend entirely onhow a national regulator chooses to define a set ofcommonly recognised banking functions. Compellinguniversal banks to open x% of new branches inunbanked areas has to be accepted as an unpleasant,but necessary requirement of the transition phase. Theuniversal digital ecosystem is still a long way off, and thedistrust/discomfort of the unbanked sections of thesociety needs to be overcome. Universal banks had toshoulder the burden, being better placed tocross-subsidize a few unviable activities.

A case may be made though, that opening branches isnot the only way to achieve the FI objective.Appointment of authorized agents and tie-ups with otherentities already having local presence and offeringcomplementary services should be enough for bothcustomer onboarding and servicing.

RS:

This methodology has been used in the Jan DhanYojana, but the implementation left a lot of questionmarks. Agencies sprung up for conductinghousehold surveys, and charging upto Rs.20/- perhousehold, only to tell if the family was banked orunbanked. They were supported by local State LevelBanker Committees (SLBCs), and in most cases,engaging them was the Hobson’s choice forbankers. I am not sure, if we still have a digitized

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comprehensive database, with all relevantdemographics.

EnV:

Technological developments now enable BFSI entitiesto serve a global customer base out of single corneroffices, depending only on the definition of a set ofservices, target clientele and selective technologies. Thephysical model would not be needed for expansion.

I foresee some consolidation, as many promoters ofnew banks not conversant with the rigors of running abank, develop cold feet or incur unsustainable losses,are unable to meet regulations and fall by the wayside. Itwould be far more interesting to see the impact of thenew banks on the cooperative sector. The financiallydistressed cooperative banks might fold up, though themarket size is large enough to support many morebanking entities.

We might even see smaller banks serving limitedgeographies forming conglomerates, to serve the largermarket based with some sort of drawing arrangement.From a technological perspective, the UPI (UnitedPayments Interface) has already brought them on asingle platform.

In 2006, I had designed a CBS solution that could support multi-bank nodal implementation model. NAFSCOB also had certified the application for SAAS implementation. Recently, I was in discussion with Intellect Design . They are working on something similar

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with FT-GRID. The key here, I think, would be switchingfrom Private Cloud or Hybrid Cloud to Shared HybridCloud.

RS:

Thank you, Niraj, for being with us on Dynamics. Itwas a very enlightening conversation. I hope tocontinue the discussion with you, next week, on theonline credit perspective.

Readers, stay with us.

external link(s):1. http://www.intellectdesign.com/

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Online Lending - A'Dynamics' chat with Niraj

VermaSunday 4 December 2016

________________

Online lending in India, has so far been limited to P2Plending. It is a platform, where the borrower and lendercome together to meet mutual requirements, and theplatform (unlike a bank), only charges a fee for theservices. The ROI on loans is reported to be as high as36% in some cases.

Online lending is at a very nascent stage in India. About20 P2P online lending firms are reported to have sprungup in 2015, but they do not occupy prominent visibility inthe market. The RBI did publish a consultation paper inApril, 2016, classifying them as NBFCs for regulatorypurpose, but the overall direction remains hazy.

We continue the discussion with Niraj Verma onDynamics, to explore the world of online lending, andthe risk/dangers/limitations involved.

Previous discussion:

Digital Banking - a 'Dynamics' chat with Niraj Verma

RS:

Hi, Niraj … Welcome back. I noticed a rathersceptical view on digital banking, in both online and

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offline discussions on the subject, after our lastchat. Perhaps, it stems from an ingrained fear oftransparency. It could also be the increased risk offrauds with enhanced transparency. Online lending,thus, becomes a very sensitive subject.

I have read some very technically informative blogsby you on the subject. Can you brief us on the retaillending scenario in India?

EnV:

Let us begin with a brief recap of evolution of lendingsystems in general.

All lending transactions need a lender, a borrower and atouchpoint. In the pre-industrial era, peasant borrowerswould seek out a moneylender in the village for loans. Itwas impossible to borrow from a remote lender.Moneylenders, too, were comfortable in dealing withlocal borrowers. Lender-borrower relations were basedon personal equations. The State had a negligible say,and the village was the only geographical touchpoint.

Later, brick-and-mortar banking offered an additional,reasonably priced avenue. The geographical constraintremained, and institutional lending was regulated, formaland impersonal. Yet, it managed to erode the influenceof moneylenders.

Implementation of Core Banking System (CBS) andLoan Origination System (LOS) technologies providedan interesting twist. Banks offered loans to a targetmarket of pre-qualified potential loan applicants. These

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systems use two touchpoints – telecom/Internet for thepreliminary offer, and a brick-and-mortar branch forprocessing the loan application.

RS:

With this background, how do you visualize thefuture of online lending shaping up in India?

EnV:

Online lending systems are part of the ongoing Fintechrevolution. Strictly speaking, FinTech simply refers to atechnology platform that connects consumers andproviders of financial services. Types of financialservices supported, depend on design of the platform.

Online lending platforms use cyberspace as the primarytouchpoint. These platforms

• Empower credit seekers to explore more lendingoptions, with less geographical constraints.

• Enable non-institutional lenders like HNIs toparticipate in the loaning process and

• Help institutional lenders to expand their outreach atminimal incremental costs.

Incidentally, personal details of credit applicants need not be, and should not have public exposure on the platform, without the applicant’s explicit consent. Such information should ideally be disclosed to a P2P lender only after a firm credit offer has been made and accepted, or to an institutional lender on expression of

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interest. Privacy concerns should override any pretenseto total transparency.

Fintech opened its innings with money transfer andpayment applications. Crowd-funding and online lendingapplications appeared later. Initially the FinTechplatforms were designed to support P2P lending tosalaried employees and professionals only. The currenttrend, however, is to enter into collaborativepartnerships with institutional lenders as well forincreased traction and accelerated growth.

One would have expected the FinTech companies tomove on to MSME and Agri Business/Rural clientele.However, progress is slow, with the lack of predictablecash flows, a paucity of reliable credit rating agenciesand consequent problems in designing an appropriatescoring system.

Another major problem with online lending systems, isthe lack of user interfaces (UI) in local languages, and itexcludes a large non-English speaking population.

Fintech platforms will take some more time cater toMSME and Agri Business/Rural segments.

RS:

Where are we on detection and prevention offrauds? Are we capable of tracing a defaulter online,if s/he has disappeared from the recorded address?Since security systems are not fool proof, willchanges be necessitated in the law?

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EnV:

A comprehensive lending system has three components- Loans Origination System (LOS), Loans ManagementSystem (LMS) and NPA Management System(NPAMS). LOS typically starts with lead generation andends with disbursal. LMS take over after disbursal and isusually limited to interest-computation andtransaction-processing. NPAMS takes over after a loanturns bad, and encompasses the complete cycle ofrepayment reminders, negotiations, re-amortization,compromise settlements, interest funding, interestremission, rehabilitation, legal proceedings andwrite-offs.

Some fintech companies, reluctant to enter transactionprocessing, limit the online lending functionality to asubset of LOS, which stops just before disbursal.Though, most companies cover the entire LOSfunctionality and a part of LMS :

• Registration of Lenders

• Registration of Credit Applicants

• Posting of Credit Request by Credit Applicants

• Pre-approval of Credit Request

• Pre-verification of Credit Request

• Publication of Credit Requests

• Posting of Credit Offers by Lenders

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• Sharing Credit Offers with Applicant

• Loan Documentation

• Loan Disbursal

• Repayment Transactions

The ‘Pre-approval of Credit Request’ sub-processchecks the submitted data to ensure that the applicantprofile matches the one specified by some institutionallender, or as deemed acceptable by a majority of P2Plenders. The ‘Pre-verification of Credit Request’sub-process next, checks the veracity of the submitteddata. This sub-process includes both online and offlinechecks. The risk of identity theft (a major cause of onlinefrauds), thus stands minimized. TAT, though, woulddepend on the number and nature of checks.

Chances of detection of a defaulter are actually higherthan that in the traditional banking model, as a  softwareroutine can be used to run a periodical check on allrelated social media profiles. The LMS functionality canbe made more robust with analytic and predictivefunctionality, coupled with offline checks.

Detection of fraudulent diversion of funds, though, ispossible only during field inspections, and hence is outof the purview of online lending systems.

This is only about design and implementation ofprocesses that minimize risk of default.  It reminds me ofan interesting conversation with a consultant. She is indiscussion with some prospective clients who wish to

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launch a fintech platform, for the same client segmentthat is normally served by NBFCs and MFIs. Herapprehension was that finding credit ratings fromcredible rating institutions would be rather difficult, as such clients play havoc with the standard scoringsystem. I suggested a variant of Self Help Group (SHG)concept, to introduce an element of distributed andshared liability. Another way could be to create apseudo credit history based on payments of utility bills.The point is that a customized solution can be devisedto reduce risk.

RS:

Great insights! Expanding on the same concept,which type of loans do you think, can be coveredwith just a future projection of information andresources available today? Do you visualize asystem for consortium lending to industry beingdeveloped online?

Online lending platforms can be classified in three majorcategories:

• Pure P2P platforms

• Platforms promoted by an institutional lender as anextension of its other platforms and

• Hybrid platforms that can support P2P lenders aswell as one or more institutional lenders.

The pure P2P platforms, for reasons enumerated earlier, accept personal loan applications from salaried

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employees, and a few professionals, only. Thefunctionality can be easily extended to cover loanrequests for purchase of consumer durables andvehicles, by the same client base, provided a legalframework on creating charge on financed assets isdeveloped first. Small business loans to MSMEs mayalso be handled if the platform incorporates functionalitylike ratio analysis, cash/funds flow generation &analysis, working capital assessment by 1 st /2 nd

method of lending, what-if analysis etc. to enable a P2Plender as well make an informed credit decision.

In case of an institutional lender, whether on an ownedor a hybrid platform, theoretically all loan products canbe supported, given that the detailed credit appraisal willbe done offline. Such offline appraisal should also takecare of qualitative assessment requirements. The onlymajor issue will be handling LMS processes for arunning credit facility.

RS:

Right. I was thinking about the same issue of arunning credit facility. Maybe, some ‘if this, thenthat….’ logic can be infused in the existingtransactional functionalities.

EnV:

One possible solution could be issuing smart cards toavail running limits, and routing the transactions throughthe platform. The scoring systems, designed for thesalaried employees and professionals, will not work for

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other segments. A new scoring system would beneeded.

Consortium finance can very well be handled thru’ afintech platform, which has all consortium lenders as itsmembers. Some additional functionalities would ofcourse, be needed.

• Secure channel of communication between the FIsto allow formation of a lenders’ consortium to financea project,

• Functionality to handle several credit facilitiessanctioned and disbursed by more than one FI linkedto a single credit request,

• Functionality to download transaction data from a 3rd party CBS & to upload transaction data to a 3 rd

party CBS,

• Functionality to accept, as upload MSOD & QIS,data for onward transmission to the lender FIs in theconsortium and

• Push notifications from one lender FI to other lenderFIs in the consortium.

On account of high amount of funds involved andmultiplicity of parties, many more offline activities relatedto pre-sanction verification, negotiations, fieldinspections etc. will happen outside the purview ofonline lending system.

RS:

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What is the overall outlook for the future?

EnV:

Online lending is still a work-in-progress. Customeracquisition has emerged as a major problem for pureP2P lending platforms. Single FI sponsored platformswould just end up as an extension of their LOS systemsin cyberspace. Hybrid platforms, that support multipleFIs and P2P lenders operate in the same loaning space,may be more successful in the years to come. It will beeven more interesting if some such platform were toallow preapproved dealers of consumer durables andvehicles to come on board as vendor-members . Adrevenue from such vendor-members would also helpreduce the transaction costs.

IMO a lot is needed. of work by the regulators, FIs andapplication developers, before we can even think ononline credit system.

Links to Niraj Verma’s blogs on the subject:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/online-lending-laymans-perspective-niraj-verma?trk=mp-reader-card

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/online-lending-feather-truth-niraj-verma?trk=mp-reader-card

external link(s):1. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/digital-banking-dynamicschat-niraj-verma-reena-saxena?trk=mp-author-card2. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/online-lending-laymans-perspective-niraj-verma?trk=mp-reader-card

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3. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/online-lending-feather-truth-niraj-verma?trk=mp-reader-card

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4

PERSONAL BRANDING

Dressing on the Plus Side- Part 1

Monday 20 June 2016

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Retail therapy is often undertaken to get overdepression, and is effective. However, people like mewho are on the ‘plus’ side of the population sink intodeeper depression, on not finding the kind of clothesthat give an instant lift. One has to depend more onaccessories and make-up, to induce the ‘feel good’factor.

I found the mirror to be a more honest friend, than the‘friendly’ salesperson, wanting to pile the ‘latest’ styleson you, irrespective of the fact, whether they suit mybody type or not. A personal style has evolved over theyears, and I prefer referring to this style book, ratherthan the latest copy of Vogue.

The five elements of dressing  - Line, Shape, Pattern,Color and Texture can be applied skilfully to create anillusion of being slimmer than you actually are :

Line

The lines in the cut, pattern or fabric should always bevertical or diagonal. Vertical lines add to the length, anddiagonal lines move the eye away from the width.  Anyhorizontal line cuts the view in two, thus reducing theappearance of vertical length.

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• Wear vertical yokes/panels on kurtas and tops,princess cuts, slight A-line flares, few kalis in thekurta from neckline to hemline with very little flare.

• Wear vertical or diagonal stripes in patterns.

• Asymmetric cuts will also provide diagonal lines.

• Monochromatic color combinations to be used, toavoid a sharp visual break at any point in the body.

• Avoid wearing belts or sashes.

• Avoid sharp contrasts between the trousers/skirtsand top, as it will draw attention to the dividing line atthe waist.

• Avoid short/cap sleeves, as the eye stops at thewidest part of the arm. Preferably wear three-quarteror full sleeves.

• Avoid horizontal layers in garments.

• Draw attention towards the face with a goodhairstyle, makeup, scarf, embroidered neckline,jewellery etc., so that the eye does not traveldownwards towards the body.

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Shape

• We need to draw the eye inwards at the midriff.

• The clothes should be semi-fitted, moving smoothlyover the body – neither too clinging nor too loose.

• Avoid big flares, as it will reinforce the variation in thebody.

• Asymmetric cuts will disguise the rounded shape.

• The shape of the garments should be straight.Rounded shapes will make the body look bulbous.Close fits will also accentuate the curves that youwish to conceal.

• No clinging garments like knits, T-shirts, lycra etc.

• No ruffles or frills in the shapes, as it will add to thebulk.

• No horizontally panelled skirts.274

Fabric and texture

• Shiny fabrics will reflect light, thus increasing thevisual size, hence to be avoided.

• No sheer or clinging fabrics like net, chiffon,chanderi.

• Wear matte fabrics with a slightly rough finish. Itdraws the eyes inwards, and falls in straight lines.

• Silk and soft cotton are ideal choices. Thick knits thatdo not cling are also good. Gaberdine, denim,corduroy, wool, woollen blends, crepe, linen, khadi,polyester blends can be worn.

Pattern

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• Wear gingham checks, small polka dots, mediumpaisley prints, small floral or leaf patterns, verticaland diagonal stripes etc.

• Horizontally placed blocks or bands, horizontalstripes on skirts or t-shirts are a total no-no.

• Do not combine too many patterns. One patternedpiece in the whole outfit is sufficient.

Color

• Dark colors absorb light, and hence, draw the eyeinward. Pale colors will reflect light, and give you alarger appearance.

• Neon and high intensity colors also make you looklarger, hence, are to be avoided.

• Wear dark and deep colors in bottoms. It makes themidriff look smaller.

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• Navy, burgundy, black, rust, bottle green will all givea slimmer appearance.

Another post will follow on suggested garments, andhow to put them together to create outfits.

Till, then, sort out your wardrobe to check what is reallygood for you.

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Dressing on the Plus Side- Part 2

Monday 20 June 2016

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Hope you had a good time exploring your wardrobe.

Let us see how can we put together various separatesto create glam outfits for our ‘plus’ selves.

• Creating a contrast

If we are combining a dark and light color, wear the darkcolor closer to the skin. It draws the eye in, and reducesthe bulk. The lighter color can be added as a layer ontop.

2. Lay it On

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Long Layers conceal a lot of flaws in the figure, be it anIndian or western outfit. See how it can glam up a sareeor skinny jeans.

3. Indian chic

Straight kurtas with straight pants are your best pals.Dupattas add bulk. Substitute them with a sstole, ordrape them in a sleek style, not in voluminous folds.

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4. Saree drapes

Dare to be a Chandni, and let the pallu hang loose onthe side. It conceals the midriff, while displaying theglorious designs on the pallu.

5. Star with the stripes

Wear Vertical,  Dream Diagonal and Hide theHorizontal. Chuck out all horizontal stripes and patternsfrom the wardrobe, be it a Kanjeevaram, Patola or Ikat.

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6. Asymmetric Amour

Asymmetrics will carry the day and swing the night foryou. The viewer’s eye moves zig-zag and

misses the problem areas.

7. Party Pop

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Lehengas or any kind of bottom can go with a sherwanitop. Pull out your classic sarees, and convert them tothese contemporary outfits.

Happy Dressing, Diva ! You have more of everything.

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'Plus Size' SareesMonday 20 June 2016

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Is size an issue ? OMG ! The saree is a just a six-yardpiece of fabric that can be draped around for maximumeffect, in a manner that the actual shape of the bodydisappears. Wow !

Spend some time at Nariman Point in Mumbai, or DLFCyber City in Gurgaon, and a saree is a rare treat for theeyes. Working women have by and large, given it up, forthe sake of convenience. However, an invitation to awedding or cultural soiree sends them looking deep intothe wardrobes for an evening saree. The saree will staywith Indians for sometime, and hence, do not be in ahurry to bid adieu to your traditional wardrobe.

Plus-sized women are advised to wear saree or akameez with different kinds of legwear, as plus-sizedevening gowns and dresses are not easily available.However, we cannot deny that the ever-graciousgarment exposes more than other outfits, and all are nothappy exposing the rolls and midriff.

So, how does one resolve the problem ? Try thesesimple, workable tricks to make yourself look moregraceful, if not slim and svelte.

• Leave the pallu hanging, instead of pinning it up. Itcovers the midriff. This works better for sarees with amedium to light fabric. Thick fabrics like South Indiansilks will add to the bulk.

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2. Wear longer blouses.

3. Wear blouses with three fourth or full sleeves, if thearms are heavy. Or go totally sleeveless. The regularsleeves end at the heavies part of the upper arm, andfocus attention on the wrong part. This is to be avoided.

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�Handloom Sarees 2010

4. Wear soft cottons, silks or crepe-de-chines, whichgive a good fall. Chiffons, georgettes and nets willexpose the 'rolls'. Shun them like the plague.

5. Wear vertical or diagonal stripes or patterns.Horizontal stripes or broad borders are a big No No.

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6. If using a combination of fabrics like velvet or silk, andchiffon/georgette, keep the pallu in a firmer fabric. Letthe softer fabric go in the pleats. It reduces the fabricload on the pleats, and then, covers up the midriff with afirm fabric.

7. You may try long jackets over sarees. It disguisesimperfections.

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8. Avoid Gujarati style. It makes one look heavier.

9. Both the saree and blouse should not have patternsor loud embellishments. Keep one garment as subtle aspossible.

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10. Avoid overall floral or large patterns on pastels, ifpossible. Keep them in dark colors, medium to small polka dots, small prints, chikan embroidery etc. See theimpact that it has on different body shapes.

11. Keep a few broad pleats, so that they don’t add upto the abdominal bulk.

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12. Wear as sleek a petticoat as possible. Some of thelong skirts available, which are narrow at the waist, orhave a broad elastic band, and gradually flaredownwards, can be used as petticoats.

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Camouflage an Ultra ThinBody

Monday 20 June 2016

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You are envied by your friends, because you are thin orslim, but you feel clothes hang on you, rather than frameyour body. You wish you had some feminine curves toflaunt. You can look fabulous, without adding a kilo.

Style tips to create visual illusions

• Wear bright colors in at least one garment, to createan illusion of fullness – neon colors, bright yellow,pink would all add to the charm. Combine it withmuted colors, so as not to look like a candy shop.

2. White and pastels would look fabulous, provided theyare compatible with your skin tone.

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3. Wear flared skirts, peplum tops, flared trousers, maxidresses etc. to counteract the overall tubular shape.

4. Wear loose, unstructured tops with straight trousers.

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5. Add layers in the form of shrugs, jackets, scarves,stoles, a shirt loosely thrown over a tank-top and jeans.

6. Use wide sashes, belts as much as possible to cinchthe waistline and create curves.

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7. Use patterns on the clothing to create an illusion offullness. Polka dots and paisleys are curvy patterns.You could experience with large, stylish motifs on theupper part of the sari drape.

8. The fabric used should be firm, so that the garmentretains its shape, and does not cling to the body.

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9. Fabrics with a sheen also help in adding volume.

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10. Sheer or lightweight fabrics can be used with a frillyor ruffled design.

11. Geometric cuts or patterns will add interest to thegarment, as the eye moves with the geometric  shapesrather than the body line.

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12. Wear horizontal stripes, only if you are tall.

13. Wear pencil heels or flats, to complement your bodyshape. Wedges or platforms should be worn only with flared trousers or sarees, as they will juxtapose theslender frame.

14. Carry large bags like hobo bags, totes etc, butproportionate to the size of the body. It should notoverpower the total appearance.

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Redefining Work Wear forIndian Urbanistas

Monday 20 June 2016

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“Don't trust labels - trust logic.” ― Isabella Poretsis

Check the logic in the following statements

Statements

• 400 million of the Indian population lives in cities.

• The urban female to male ratio is 929 women per1000 men.

• Only 20% of Indian urban women work outside theirhomes.

Conclusion

The approximate number of the female urban workforceis 74.3 million.

Statements

• The female CEOs of banks in India have reachedwhere they are, draped in the ubiquitous Indiansaree.

• Fitted western wear does not look good on all bodyshapes.

• Closed shoes and hosiery are not meant for tropicalclimate conditions.

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• At times, western wear looks incongruent with Indianhairstyles ( buns and braids), make-up ( bindi orsindoor) and jewellery ( mangalsutra or chooda).

• Certain corporates have programs designed toprepare women for positions in Boards, and to getback the sabbatical population to work.

Conclusion

• Indian women will choose how they wish toshowcase their personalities in the office.

• The talents and competencies that they bring to theoffice are well-appreciated.

The logic in the latter is not so direct. There are unlistedassumptions involved. :)

The case for individuality and balance

We need to be seen as we are – aware, updated,intelligent, responsible and contemporary. The visualimage should open the right window to the totalpersonality, not a distorted perspective.

The globalization of business has led to work wear becoming increasingly westernized. The socially all-pervasive salwar/churidar kameez is not considered corporate wear, due to the baggy and flowy shapes. The saree is high on the scale of formality, but low on convenience, and hence, not favoured in urban lifestyles. The moral police does not dictate corporate wear, but the style czars and czarinas do, and the

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verdict is Business Suits. Sure,they look great on thosewho can carry it off, but there is a large section of the 74million, that looks for Indianized versions, and aBALANCE.

Western workwear for women is a modified version ofmale corporate attire and maybe the original intentionwas to be seen as equals. The Glass Ceiling has been acontentious issue in the workplace for ages. Theperspective needs to be reviewed and updated.Capability and professionalism are not synonymous withSuits.

The norms for Indian attire for women have been largelydictated by modesty, climatic conditions and symbolisminherent in the local culture. The soft and flowy nature ofthe garments perhaps represented the traditional view offemininity. The same needs to be updated as valuesand lifestyles change. If a sari is Indian, so is a  longskirt with an elegant blouse and stole. If a cardigan isIndian, so are jackets and shrugs. If a dupatta is Indian,so are stoles and scarves. If a salwar or churidar areIndian, so are trousers. And let us face facts – we do notwish to be bothered about managing dupattas and sareepallus, in the course of work and travel.

If giving in to outdated Indian norms is subservience, sois the blind adaptation of western wear . We need notoverlook the richness inherent in Indian fabrics, weavesand styles, and the grace in our personalities. A strongand capable individual will always score higher than onethat has merely walked out of  the pages of a fashionmag.

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So, what are the factors that can influence the choice forclothes for women ?

• Elegance

• Comfort

• The image of the organization.

• Expression of the feminine side ( it is okay to wearpink florals at times).

• The level in the hierarchy ( a saree says‘professionalista’, more than ‘stylista’.

“Originality is nothing but judicious imitation”- Voltaire.

All the norms for western corporate wear remain validand uncontested – no danglers, no flashy pieces,judicious skin show, no elaborate nail art – in short,nothing that distracts.

In addition to it, glance at fusion wear,  which suits ourstyle and expresses our individuality.

Inspirational fusion wear ideas

• Sherwani kurtas qualify as suits. Silk or starchedcotton dupattas falling in straight lines from theshoulder lend grace.

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2. Sarees with jackets are elegant, but meant only fortall and slim women. Others would end up looking boxy,since it amounts to adding bulk on bulk. A blouse styledin the form of a jacket can be a stylish alternative, thatserves the purpose.

3. Straight pants coupled with kurtas are both trendyand formal.

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4. Indo-western panache. These jackets qualify aslayers.

5. Ankle length skirts with a long shirt and stoles areIndian. They are less flared versions of traditional outfits.

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“ You are so busy being YOU that you have no ideahow utterly unprecedented you are.” ― John Green ,The Fault in Our Stars

The case for Professionalism

The rules for professionalism do not change for women.There cannot be a compromise on the following factors :

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• Punctuality and time discipline.

• Work ethics.

• Efficiency and excellence.

• Professional behaviour ( Warmth and graciousnessare part of it)

• Staying above slander and gossip.

• Not using feminine wiles to seek professional favors.

external link(s):1. http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5446998.Isabella_Poretsis2. http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1406384.John_Green3. http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/16827462

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The Indian 'Waist-Coat'Evolution

Monday 20 June 2016

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The waistcoat (or vest) was a formal garment,introduced by King Charles II in 1666, during theRestoration of British monarchy. The name emergedfrom the length of the garment ending at the waistline,whereas the other coats were longer.

This was a kind of foundation garment, with a triangularcut in the front centre. It was worn in the same colourand fabric as the suit, maybe with a different fabric usedon the back. The neckline was a V-shape, and it couldeither be single or double breasted.  The single breastedstyle was essential for  lounge suits. The pocket wasused to hold the pocket watch, with the other end on thebutton placket.

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Semi-formal style

A dressed down look can be created with the waistcoatbeing in a different colour than the suit, like black or bluewith grey. A waistcoat with trousers and a tie, gainedacceptability as semi-formal wear. A bow-tie isrecommended, as it does not crowd out the triangle nearthe neck. However, both kinds of ties are acceptable.

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Casual look

The hooded waistcoat, or waistcoat with jeans can besported by the young, for the ultimate swag look.

Body fit considerations

In Britain, the Royals were expected to leave the lastbutton open, to ensure ease in riding a horse or beingseated on a high chair. The trend continues, and in thecontemporary world, it suits the man with an expandingwaistline.

The waistcoat, if worn without a jacket, evens out thelines in the outfit. It conceals the slightly puffed out shirtnear the waist.

The waistcoat should ideally cover the belt. The shirt orbelt being exposed at the bottom of the vest, is not anacceptable look.

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One can consider the use of suspenders, instead of abelt, as it reduces thickness on the waistline, and thevest falls straight.

Ideally, a waistcoat without a jacket should be worn bymen with a well-toned body. Any variation in shape atthe midriff, creates an uneven look.

Indian Versions

Indians sought inspiration from the Jodhpuri Bandhgalasuits, and cross-border fashion influence, to create adandier version. This has a high neck, is available inseveral colours, finishes and fabrics, and can be teamedwith formal trousers, jeans or kurta-pyjamas.

It is ideal for the tropical climate, and provides ease,style and versatility to the wearer. It works for both theday and evening looks. A pocket square looks elegant,and breaks the monotony of the rectangular shape.

Nikesh Arora, President of SoftBank, gave it an extrashot of credibility, by sporting it in the Economic TimesAwards Ceremony. The ET annual event is acongregation of the topmost bankers and businessmenof the country.

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The waistcoat has traversed the distance from ‘vintage’to ‘classic’.  It indicates the change in male fashiontrends from stiff, formal and boring, to cool, soft andrelaxed. Indian men are not afraid of being themselves,any more.

Have a look at some versions.

• Day formals

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2. Wedding wear

3. Quintessentially Indian

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4. Evening Elegance

5. The Long Waistcoat - Indian version of a 4-piecesuit

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Carry on, guys ! Claim your style and your freedom.

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3 Styles for Men that NeedRevival

Monday 20 June 2016

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Elegance is not about being noticed, it is aboutbeing remembered

Giorgio Armani.

I guess the word here should be ‘respected’, or‘revered’, not ‘remembered’. Swag, grunge and hip-hopare all remembered. It could be for their atrociousness,or for the mind-sets of the generations that sport thesestyles.

We live in an era of quick comfort, blind imitations andcommercial interests overruling true style. Shirt lengthshave been shortened. 80% of the stock in storescomprise of Slim Fit garments. And why not? People areconscious of their fitness levels. The manufacturermakes 110 shirts with the material meant for 100 shirts,and reduces cost.

But, if swag is for the boys, style is for men.

“Style is the perfection of a point of view.” – RichardEberhart

There are 3 styles that we would like to see revived, inthe interest of elegance.

• The Tie-Pin

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I have tried buying one for a gift, and was told that it isan outdated concept. It has been replaced by the collarpin. I love collar pins, and the element of intrigue thatthey add to a gentleman’s outfit with its shape anddesign. Neck ties are gradually fading out.

But the few that I see in videos and pictures of animatedspeakers, appear to have shifted to the left or right, orare bulging out of a buttoned-up coat, in a statement ofrebellion.It distracts the viewer, who has a tough timeresisting the temptation to point it out, or set it right.

PM Gordon Brown MP on the doorstep of No10 this afternoon for thelaunch of the Royal British Legion

Poppy Appeal

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Have a look at this. Confidence personified, despite thestubble and the peeping tattoo on the forearm.

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2. The Suspenders

They have a retro feel, reminding one of the yester-yearmega stars – Dev Anand or Raj Kapoor. But theyperform the onerous task of keeping the trousers andthe waist-belt in place straight and unfolded. Indian mendo tend to be a midriff variation, which is not conduciveto a good fit for the trousers. And suspenders can soeasily be concealed behind the jacket.

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3. The Comfort Fit shirts

The style is easy on the eyes of the viewer, and easy onthe skin of the wearer. There are no gaps in the buttonplacket, threatening to split open, and no embarrassedviewers trying to look elsewhere.

If you see the cover pic, it is the relaxed fit and selectivebuttoning, that has made the red jacket tolerable. EvenMr. Amitabh Bachchan has to make an effort to concealthe midriff variation.

It is high time, we returned to customized tailoring,whether you prefer online convenience, or the comfortwith the neighborhood tailor. It is a fast vanishingspecies that needs to return, even if the cost is higherthan that of an off-the-rack item. There is a price to bepaid for elegance, style and comfort.

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'Shades' for the EyesTuesday 21 June 2016

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Some celebrities insist on donning shades in the night.Many of them have gone on record to say, that no otheraccessory gives a lift to their appearance , and instantstardom , more than sunglasses. A 71-year old femalestyle enthusiast says that it is better than a facelift.

Carry sunglasses, if you step out between 10 am to 5pm, and not only in summers. You never know when theSun God will decide to bestow its blessings on PlanetEarth.

And what do sunglasses  for the eyes ?

Reasons to Wear Sunglasses

1.) UV Protection. The sun's UV radiation can causecataracts; benign growths on the eye's surface; andphotokeratitis , sometimes called snow blindness,which is a temporary but painful sunburn of the eye'ssurface. Wide-brimmed hats and caps can block about50 percent of UV radiation from the eyes butoptometrists say that is not enough protection.

2.) Blue-Light Protection. Long-term exposure to theblue and violet portion of the solar spectrum has beenimplicated as a risk factor for macular degeneration ,especially for individuals that are “sun sensitive.”

3.) Comfortable vision. The sun's brightness and glareinterferes with comfortable vision and the ability to see

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clearly by causing people to squint and the eyes towater.

4.) Dark adaptation. Spending just two or three hours inbright sunlight can hamper the eyes' ability to adaptquickly to nighttime or indoor light levels. This can makedriving at night after spending a day in the sun morehazardous.

5.) Skin Cancer. Cancer of the eyelids and skin aroundthe eyes is more common than people think. Peopleshould wear sunglasses outdoors whether they areworking, driving, participating in sports, taking a walk,running errands or doing anything in the sun.

Five Tips for Healthy Eyes

1.) Wear protective eyewear any time your eyes areexposed to UV light, even on cloudy days and duringwinter months.

2.) Look for quality sunglasses that offer goodprotection. Sunglasses should block out 99 to 100percent of both UVA and UVB radiation and screen out75 to 90 percent of visible light.

3.) Check to make sure your sunglass lenses areperfectly matched in color and free of distortions andimperfections.

4.) Purchase gray-colored lenses. They reduce lightintensity without altering the color of objects, providingthe most natural color vision.

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5.) Don’t forget protection for children and teenagers.They typically spend more time in the sun than adults.

Source: American Optometric Association

Eyewear need not be expensive for protection. Thequality of the frame and the optics of the lenses add tothe cost of sunglasses. Look for the right certificationsfor UV protection.

How do you enhance looks further with the rightshape of sunglasses ?

The key is to balance the excess in the face shape, byintroducing opposing elements.

• Oval face

An oval face is considered to be the perfect face, but itdoes need balancing with angular frames.  See thedifference that it makes, despite the versatility of theface.

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2. Round face

This is one of the commonest face shapes. However, attimes, trapezoid or square faces are misconstrued asround, due to flab on the cheeks. Observe carefully, thediameter of the face at the forehead, between the earsand close to the chin. It gives a fair idea, where youbelong.

A round face will need angular shapes – rectangular,square or cat-eye to counteract the rounded effect.

3. Square face

They have a strong jawline, a broad forehead and awide chin and cheekbones. The shapes they wearshould have rounded edges somewhere, to counteractthe angularity of the face.

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4. Inverse triangular face

Since the face is broad at the temples, and tapers downtowards the chin, large frames would cover the width atthe top. However, the shape of the glasses should notreinforce the face shape, and should not taperdownwards.

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See how this pair adds instant glamour. Wayfarers couldbe the way to go ….

5. Rectangular face :

This face shape needs to be evaluated carefully, aftertying back the hair and taking off jewellery.  Thediameter should be the same, for the larger part of thelength, forehead to below the ears. The chin can taperoff at times, but the proportion of the broader partclassifies it as rectangular. A slightly rounded version isthe oblong shape, which needs a different treatment, butis often confused with rectangular.

As with the square face shape, this too needs roundededges in the eyewear. They can be larger than the onesworn by other face shapes, given the larger areaavailable above and below the eyes.

See the fun element provided by the fancy frame thatAngelina is sporting. The Aviators kind of reinforce the

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tapering at the chin, hence, are not perfect, but providethe angularity needed. The cat-eye glasses look best.

6. Oblong face

This is a rounded and very well-proportioned face,where the length is larger than the width. This is broaderthan the oval face.

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The rounded edges need angular sunglasses. Takeyour pick.

The list above is not exhaustive. One can bring out thebest in a face, with a three-pronged approach of usingthe right make-up, hairstyle and eye wear.

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Go ahead, experiment or consult a specialist to create asignature style for you. Have fun !

(Pictures borrowed from the internet).

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'Appropriate' AuthenticitySunday 17 July 2016

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Brand experts urge new PM Theresa May to DITCHher penchant for thigh-high boots and racy dresses- and instead take style inspiration from theDuchess of Cambridge

(Source: dailymail.co.uk)

Theresa May took over as the Prime Minister of Britain,amidst reports of the cabinet reshuffles, the challengesthat lie ahead AND her sartorial choices. While beingapplauded as stylish, her personal preferences are notbeing seen as ‘appropriate’ to the office that she nowoccupies. I came across a remark that her animal printkitten-heels were suitable for a circus, not Parliament.They appear to be a personal favorite, based on the fewpictures that I have surfed through. It remains to beseen, if she chooses to be ‘appropriate’ or ‘authentic’ inthe corridors of power that she will inhabit.

Acceptability is the third angle

The remark from an Indian political figure, aboutministers looking like ‘waiters’ in a suit and tie, on theirvisits abroad, is not far behind. Priyanka Gandhi’sappearance in the Indian Parliament, in a formal ‘blacktrousers and white shirt’ outfit was seen asrevolutionary. Several politicians educated in the West,have felt compelled to adopt Indian attire, to gainacceptability in the eyes of the public. The leader

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representing a developing country, exhibiting flashyattire is also castigated. It gets one classified as MarieAntoinette or Emperor Niro of Rome.

And yet, leaders have created a unique slot forthemselves, with their personal style. Benazir Bhutto(deceased Prime Minister of Pakistan) with a drapecovering her head, Jayalalitha (the Chief Minister ofTamil Nadu) concealing her ample figure with a cape.Kiran Bedi (present Lt. Governor of Pondicherry, and aretired police officer) sticking to non-fussy outfits andKiran Mazumdar Shaw (CEO of Biocon India) with herstoles, are all cases in point. They could be recognisedin a crowded public place, due to their well-acceptedand celebrated style.

Thus, it is ‘acceptability’ in the eyes of others thatdecides what is ‘appropriate’, and it may clash with‘authenticity’ of the person. Authenticity has beenderided by many, as inappropriate in work situations.Chameleons who adapt to the surroundings appear tobe the favoured species.

Refer the HBR article on “ The Authenticity Paradox”.

https://hbr.org/2015/01/the-authenticity-paradox

The Personal Branding Guru William Arruda describesthe process as ‘uncovering the personal brand’, ratherthan faking it. It is hard work to be someone else. Or asOscar Wilde put it in his imitable style,

Be yourself, as everybody else is already taken.

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Is a chameleon unauthentic?

Chameleons are equipped by nature to protectthemselves, by making themselves indistinguishablefrom the surroundings. This is certainly not the hallmarkof a leader, since a leader’s job is to guide, lead andprotect others.

However, a leader may have to assume different rolesto meet situational challenges. The environment maynot always be the same, in which he was created,developed and groomed.

In this case, the leader is just adopting a new personaand style of functioning, while keeping the core valuesintact.

• It is a progression of one persona to another, ratherthan a temporary façade.

• It is transformation, rather than a projection.

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• It is transparency, not change behind curtains.

• It is flexibility, not failure.

• It is a change in beliefs, not values.

• It is a change in behavior, not the person.

Authenticity is maintained at every step of the process, ifthe leader can justify what s/he is doing.

Is change permanent?

Does it mean that a mindset cannot return to itsprevious state, and the circumstantial changes arepermanent? People are known to have admitted failure,before returning to their former affiliations and beliefs.

The test of leadership also lies in making the rightchoices, which can stand the test of time. It needswisdom, experience, a 360 degree view, willingness toconsult others and openness to differing opinions. And

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all this does not take away from a person’s authenticity,but adds value. A true leader accepts responsibility forthe changes that s/he makes, as remains accountablefor them.

external link(s):1. https://hbr.org/2015/01/the-authenticity-paradox

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Step out in StyleTuesday 19 July 2016

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I bought a new pair of shoes, yesterday, andsurreptitiously, stacked them away in the shoe closet,hoping not to be noticed by the man in my life. Not thatsilent look of askance again – Did you really needthat ? How many of you identify with this householdscenario ?

Shoes step out of the car, before you do.  Shoes are thefirst thing that are noticed for both men and women, butcan literally, make or break a woman’s outfit. And nowonder, a major part of the ground floor in all shoppingmalls is occupied by the shoe and bag brands. That isthe first bait to entice a woman, and keep her in forseveral hours.

We have grown up with the notion, that the minimumfootwear requirement was :

• One sensible and durable pair each of black, brownand white shoes.

• Gold/copper/silver shoes for party wear

• One pair of sneakers.

• Flip-flops for holiday wear.

Well, that continues to be the minimum basicrequirement, but so much more got added on. All thecolours in the rainbow, nudes, boots, tassels, glass

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heels, gladiators, sky-high heels, embellished heels …and we  continue to await newer style introductions.

Good shoes are expensive, and only the divas can havethem all. It makes sense not to get influenced orpressurized by style advocates.

The following 10 style tips should carry you through alifetime :

• Office Wear

For office wear, closed shoes or shoes that cover more (like peep toes, lattice designs covering the foot,gladiators) are considered to be good. While the rulestands for skirts, one can afford to wear open shoes withtrousers or other outfits.

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• Shoe Fit

The grip that a shoe has on your foot is more important.No flip-flopping with flimsy shoes in the office, or makingtic-tac sounds on wooden or marble floors.

• Flaunt Fancy Footwear

I am all for fancy partywear shoes with embellishmentson the heel or above. However, keep the outfit simple orin a solid color, to allow focus on the shoes, and avoidovercrowding of patterns.

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• DIY Footwear

Learn the art of embellishing old but comfortable shoeswith paints, bows, crystals, ribbons to give them a fresh,glamorized feel.

• Style No-No

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A total matchy-matchy look is a no-no. It helps if eitherthe bag or the shoe, or both are in a contrasting ordifferent color. It is easy to get experimental with blackor beige outfits. Blue, green, yellow, orange shoes canall be shown off to maximum advantage.

• Shoe coordination

Match the bag or belt or a lipstick or shirt, with coloredshoes. It helps in creating a coordinated look, bycarrying the color upward.

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• Shoe Harmony

An overall harmony needs to be maintained, withappropriate shoes for rugged or fine fabric outfits.

• The Right Shade of Nude

If wearing nudes, try to find a color closest to your skincolor. They go well with outfits in all shades of red and

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brown, and any other outfit that does not find a match inthe shoe rack.

• Sheer Magic

I prefer the sheer shoes to the so-called nude ones tomatch every  outfit. They are good enough to show off awell-maintained pair of pedicured footsies,color-manipulation with stockings or socks and lend aglamorized look with the slight sheen.

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• Reverse Matching

Find the right outfit to show off a fancy pairs of shoes.The reverse matching with nail colors, shoes or bagshelps in creating your weekly wardrobe plan.

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• Pop Colors

Bright colors in  shoes and bags can be used toaccentuate a neutral outfit. It is easy to get experimentalwith black or beige outfits. Blue, green, yellow, orange,fuchsia shoes can all be shown off to maximumadvantage.

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• Footwear Planning

Comfort and affordability should remain key factors. Nopoint in spending a fortune on a pair, that you use oncein 3 years.

And yet …

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Lipstick is to a woman,what a necktie is to a man

Wednesday 17 August 2016

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Sounds a bit OTT (over the top) ! But these words werenot spoken at birth. This is the experience of a womanculled over the years, that makes her espouse thecause. Red is for everybody, if coordinated properly.And all those who deride women wearing it, are theones that envy the confidence of the woman.

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I read and hear all the advocates of carefullyconstructed nude lips, and the feminists who want tolook like men, and just SIGH ! They have not discoveredthe power of this small tube of color, in lifting a woman’slooks and confidence. The following pics will speak.

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See how a face of the same shape changes with asingle dab of color !

1. Advantage of Position

Lips are placed at the center of the face, slightly raised,and are the center of attention, as you speak. Theyenhance the natural symmetry of the face. A man’s outfitis enhanced with a necktie, with this central placement,and a lipstick does the same to your face.

2. Advantage of Color

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Not all lips are rosy and pink. And those that are, have acolor close to the skin tone. Skin tone can only beevened out with foundation, the nose can be lifted bycontouring, but lips can carry color to emphasize theoutline. And all in a single stroke !

3. Advantage of Expression

The color of the lipstick can be coordinated with theclothes, to lend a finished look. The texture (glossy,matte or velvety) speaks a lot about the age, taste andpersonality of the woman wearing it.

• A Matte finish shows a professional, no-nonsenselook.

• Glossy lips show a young-at-heart, vibrantpersonality, and hence, are considered appropriatefor the evening.

• A velvety finish shows a love for luxury.

4. Advantage of Cover

Lips need to be kept soft and supple, but lipstick coversup discoloured or pale lips, which would otherwise drawnegative attention.

5. Advantage of being a booster

Research says that the sale of lipsticks goes up, duringa recession. Since women cannot buy expensive stuff,they buy affordable lippers to give their spirits a boost.No man will ever understand this.

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WHO NEEDS NUDE OR PALE LIPS ?

• Young women, who have naturally brightcomplexions, and do not need a lift. Lipstick mightgive them a older and mature look. The solution is togo light, with a hint of color or shine.

• Women, who are temperamentally sedate, or inprofessions, where they do not wish to draw toomuch attention, to themselves.

• Mature women need to avoid maroon, brown, purpleetc, since it creates a hackneyed look. Pop shades inlighter colors are fine.

• Athletes who are displaying qualities and toned bodyparts, other than the face. They can easily go withoutlipstick.

LIP CARE

• Daily dabs of lip balm, maybe 2-3 times in a day.

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• Glycerine or olive oil, mixed with demerrara or whitegranular sugar for exfoliation.

Not very expensive or elaborate or time consuming ?Everybody can do it.

To sum it up, I love this quote from the much envied andadmired and despised Twiggy. It sums up life for themature woman, not willing to take a backseat in thetwilight years.

“For me, getting older does not mean throwing out afavorite pair of lipstick, or a fabulous pair of boots ;instead it is about harnessing all the great things Ihave learnt over the years, over what suits or doesnot suit me, and enjoying the bits in which cleverlyselected outfits an enhance the nice bits”.

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Corporate Dressing forDiwali

Wednesday 26 October 2016

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So, the email invite is out, and the boss’s secretary hascalled to seek your confirmation of attending the party.You inform your spouse to block the date, makearrangements for the kids to be left with your parents orfriends, buy a befitting gift for the hostess, and then themillion dollar question strikes. The party outfits for bothof you ?

You receive another mail from HR, announcing the lastworking day before Diwali as “Traditional Day”, andmaybe a contest to infuse spirit in the Laxmi Pooja andluncheon party.

You need to strike a balance between your corporateand festive avatars. You need to be seen as traditionaland fun-loving, keeping up with the bonhomie, but notfrivolous or OTT. If you are visiting customers withDiwali gifts, it makes sense to tilt towards theconservative corporate code, with a small traditionaltouch. Wear your best smile, and an unusual accessoryto liven up the look.

FESTIVE GARB FOR WOMEN IN OFFICE

• A saree can never go wrong, be it a classic silk,French lace, half-and-half or a traditional cotton.

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Ensure that the blouse is decorative, but not toorevealing.

• Narrow pants or palazzos are best worn with straightkurtas. Avoid anarkalis. The Begum Saheba look canbe reserved for the evening.

• Trousers or a long skirt with a traditional top are fine.Go creative with borders, embroidery andembellishments.

• Jewellery should be traditional, but not dangling.Subtle makeup is recommended, with either the eyesor lips being the focal point. No glitter on the face. Aslight sheen with an illuminating moisturizer, crèmeblusher or a lip gloss is fine.

• Your back will be on display while performing theAarti or the Puja. So, take care what people see iswithin the norms of elegance and corporate codes.

• Your hands are also on display. Ensure manicuredhands with a French polish, red or pastel nails.Reserve the nail art for the evening.

• Sheer clothing, inflammable fabrics, mile-longdupattas or trailing sari pallus are to be strictlyavoided. Tame the loose ends with brooches, pins ordecorative knots.

• Bling should be minimal. Copper, matte gold andsilver tones are preferred to glittering golds. Brightcolors minus the bling also lends the festive touch.

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EVENING WEAR FOR WOMEN

The makeup can be louder, the hairstyles can beexperimental, the garments can be a little more flowy,but by and large, stay within the norms mentionedabove. Indian evening gowns, or fusion outfits areacceptable. But skin show should be minimal. Allprecautions  should be taken to avoid wardrobemalfunctions.

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CORPORATE DONS IN TRADITIONAL ATTIRE

• Nothing beats a kurta with a narrow-bottomedpyjama or churidars.

• Wearing a stole is optional. The color and fabricshould be as discreet as possible.

• A Jodhpuri jacket looks elegant, but avoid the bling.

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• A matte-finish silk shirt with formal trousers is alsofine.

• A colourful waistcoat worn over trousers and shirt,lends a traditional touch.

• Paisley prints or polka dots on a shirt or tie will add atraditional touch to Western wear.

• Dhoti-pants and Pathani salwars are ruled out,unless you are competing in a Fancy Dresscompetition.

• A neatly shaved or trimmed beard look is needed.Your face is in focus with the vermilion tikkas. Usethe latest craze in face-washes to keep the skinlooking fresh.

• A good deodorant and fragrance is non-negotiable.Be prepared for some bear hugs in effusivegreetings.

• Footwear should be easily removable (loafers orsandals), as you move towards the Pooja area. Aneat pair of matching socks, or trimmed toe nails andpedicured feet are essential. Your feet shouldsupport you, not let you down.

CHIN UP FOR THE BOSS’S DINNER PARTY

• Add velvet suits to the repertoire of evening wear.

• Brighter colors like maroon and copper areacceptable for the dinner party.

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• Cream or beige bandhgalas with a pocket-watch lookclassy. A thin gold chain can also be worn aroundthe neck.

• Wear a cravat with a suit, instead of a neck-tie.Neckties appear to be on the way out, other thanofficewear.

• A pocket square will also look good on a Jodhpuri

• Accessories can play a larger role, but avoiddangling jewellery like bracelets and earrings. Agood watch, finger rings, cuff-links and tie-pins aregood enough.

• The options for daywear will also be applicable here.

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GENERAL TIPS

• Dress as per your temperament, body shape andpersonal color. You are expected to look like amerrier version of yourself, not a model or actor.

• Couples may co-ordinate their outfits.

• Clubs, hearts or diamonds on outfits can be a themefor a card party.

• Experiment with patterns, but do not go overboard. Itshould not take away from the formal theme.

• Dress for comfort, keeping long hours in view.

• You may ask the boss’s secretary for details of thevenue ( if it is a poolside or lawn party, woodendance floor etc). It helps in choosing appropriatefootwear, to avoid accidents.

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• Dress safe to protect yourself from the firecrackersand strings of oil lamps and candles. Fabrics infire-proof and spill-proof finishes are available forsarees.

• An ice massage preceding makeup for women isadvisable, keeping the long evening and warmthgenerated by firecrackers in view. Alcoholic drinkstoo, suffuse the skin with a warm glow.

• If the size of your clutch permits, carry a facial mist. Itrefreshes the skin, and sets the makeup. Powdertouch-ups may not be needed. But lips need to betouched up, as and when needed.

• Alcohol consumption should be kept within limits.Moderation in behaviour adds to your grace, andsocial quotient. You have to face the samecolleagues in a formal setting, later.

Wishing you all a happy and power-packed Diwali !

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Winter BluesWednesday 2 November 2016

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OF CRACKS AND CONTRADICTIONS

The mercury has dropped, and so have the moisturelevels in the skin. Beautiful faces with dry patches on thecheeks, Dracula-like lines drooping from the corner ofthe lips, grey shadows on bright faces all convey acontradictory image. Beauty not lovingly tended to,meticulousness not extending to personal care routinesand neglected babies -- all show an appearance thatdoes not match the level of competence that you vouchfor.

Don’t let this happen to you. Do not create a dent in theimage that you have carefully cultivated in all theseyears.

OF BEAUTY AND BRAINS

Beauty is the spontaneous expression of a harmoniousmind, body and spirit. It radiates from within, and needsthe right platform for projection, which are your face andeyes.

Do you not weave in contingency plans in yourbusiness ? Do you not provide for seasonal variations ?Do you not plan your seasonal wardrobes ? Is the homenot geared to seasonal routines ? And what are youdoing about your skin ?

SKIN CARE359

Vitamins  and minerals are non-negotiable. Take yourdaily quota of Vitamins A, B12, C, E and cod-liver oil.Zinc clears off blemishes. Evening primrose oil gives thenecessary glow.

• Vitamin A keeps your peepers glowing.

• Vitamin B12 protects from

• Vitamin C and cod-liver oil provide resistance againstcold and flu.

• Vitamin E and evening primrose oil provide therequired anti-oxidants for a glowing skin.

• Zinc prevents blemishes.

• And each genie is available in a bottle, with thechemist. Just buy it.

Kitchen Kapers

• Grind  bananas and strawberries with yoghurt, andkeep it handy in the fridge. Mix it with face packs, orapply the paste directly on the skin. Get the glow !

• Consume gooseberry (amla) juice every day. Itprovides Vitamin C, for the glow on your skin, andthe resistance against a cold.

• Use a carrot paste with honey on the skin.

• A pack of egg-white with honey will stretch the skin,and eliminate fine lines. The honey is meant tocombat dryness.

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• Coconut-milk can be combined with any pack for theskin or hair, for added softness.

• Turmeric has anti-septic and healing properties.

Bathroom bubbles

• Liquid soaps are gentler on the skin.

• Gel bars are the next best bet.

• Moisturize immediately, while the skin has not driedcompletely.

• Use a deodorant, but layering of body sprays andperfumes may not be necessary. They do not getdissipated, as in summers.

• Covered skin does not lose moisture, hence, dresswith care.

Drama on the Dressing Table

• Use the best of skin care and anti-ageing productsthat you can afford, in this season.

• Glycerin attracts moisture, and hence, is your bestfriend. Mix a powdered Vitamin C pill, the liquid froma Vitamin E capsule and rose water with it.

• Apply hyaluronic acid products (NeutrogenaAnti-Wrinkle Moisturiser is one of them), combinedwith Vitamin C ( Lakme and Body Shop haveampoules, that prevent oxidation of the cream).

• Wheat-germ oil is excellent.

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• Lip balms should be kept handy all the time. Theycan be used in combination with lip-colors.

• Heavy under-eye creams are needed, rather thangels or refreshers.

• If your skin does not break out, coconut oil is magic.The 40+ group can also feel a tightening of the skin,the next morning.

• It can be used as an eye make-up remover, shavinggel or as a substitute for any other cream. Coconutoil has healing and restorative properties.

• If your skin tends to break out, mix coconut oil withbaking soda, and dissolve it in a boiling water bath.Filter out the residue. The resultant gel works well asa cleanser for oily skin, and lends an unbeatableglow.

Seal the warmth and moisture in

• Warm your clothes in front of a blower, or iron them,just before putting them on.

• A warm bath followed by immediately donning yourwarmest attire, seals the warmth in, for sometime.

• Have a cup of warm water, or green tea with honeyand a slice of lemon, immediately after a bath.

• Get into bed quickly, after application of all yourbeauty products.

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Glow through winters, and present your best faceforward. Cheers !

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Pantone Color 2017 -Greenery

Thursday 8 December 2016

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The much awaited Pantone Color of the Year 2017 hasbeen declared, and it is … GREENERY.

Young, fresh, vibrant, alive …. and all that goes with thetheme. Those interpretations are going to dominatedesign discussions for the next few months. The fashionworld will eagerly await the seasonal colors, withsuggestions on the color combinations to be used.

Greenery poses more challenges than the ones wehave worked with, in the last two years – the mutedRose Quartz, Infinity Blue and the deep Marsala.

LIMITATIONS

• It may not go well with all Indian skin tones.

• It may not flatter the fuller figures.

• Its place in the makeup palette is limited to eyeshadow (and only if your eyes are hazel or green).

• It will be seen more on nail colors and accessories,than on garments.

INTERIOR DESIGN

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A few striking pictures in interior design to see how thecolor picks up, when combined with other hues. Thepalettes are equally applicable to outfits.

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FASHION APPLICABILITY

The effect of the color is enhanced when combined withgrey, yellow, blue, black, peach or beige. And of course,red or crimson for the bold and bright.

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Combine it with another shade of green, like a richeremerald tone for the ombre effects.

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Combine it with peach or beige.

Strike a bold note with red or magenta, but only onecolor can be dominant, and the other only an accent.Else, it can have be overpowering.

Use green accessories with black and brown outfits.

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Flaunt it on the nails with a copper or yellow outfit.

Eyes for the evening. Stay away from this color fordaywear.

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Green wedges can be a statement piece with any solidcolor outfit. Do not repeat the color anywhere else, otherthan nails.

Use it more on tops and shirts, than bottoms. Comparethe effects and decide.

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A green dress accessorized with brown, white or blackcan look elegant.

Hair, for the Bold and Beautiful.

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Opposites can meet, and so can we bring out the best inless than complementary colors.

Cheers to the fashion enthusiasts ….

Note : Images are used from the internet, mostly from colorcombos.com and Pinterest. The shades displayed here do not exactly match the featured

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shade Greenery, but gives a fair idea on how tocombine the color.

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Table of contents

51 - BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6Restructuring the theory of Motivation

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13When Trust Tears Apart

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20The Anatomy of Trust

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25Being Judgemental

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32Zero-Based Thinking

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39Why Behavior Training Fails

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45Neuro-Logical Alignment (Internal & External)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51Why should a leader not compare & contrast?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58Why I Choose to be 'Inspired', not 'Led'?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62When we Blame, we give our Power Away

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68Just Facilitation, and a Little More .....

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74Is Positivity always the Answer?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81This is your Phone Speaking -- ABOUT YOU

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88Professionalism

. . . . . . . . . . . . . 93The Important Thing is not to Stop Questioning

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97Self Esteem is not Enough

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104Why should Coaching Start Early?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109How Value-Neutral is the concept of Power?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113To Merge, Rebel or Stand Out ?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120Junk the Pride to De-junk your Life

1252 - THINKING MAPS

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126The Four Levels of Influence

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1316 steps away from yourself

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 137What You Choose to 'Not Be'

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145What Binds Humanity Together?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151The 'SubConscious' of the Nation

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158Twists in Storytelling

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163What do your stories tell you?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168Stories are not all True

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174Re-Inventing Storytelling

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180The Emperor's New Clothes

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 187A 'Slasher' Existence

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193The Beauty of the Point of No Return

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19710 Dimensions of Victory

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203Narcissism in writers

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207COACHING

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21521 APPLICATIONS OF COACHING

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 222WHY IS COACHING EFFECTIVE ?

2253 - GROUP DYNAMICS

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 226The Power of the Goddess

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 236The Fourth Dimension - SpaceTime

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 244Cafe Gyaan - A Chat with Mukund Bhokarkar

. . . . . . . . 249Digital Banking - A Chat with Niraj Verma on Dynamics

. . . . . . . . . . 260Online Lending - A 'Dynamics' chat with Niraj Verma

2714 - PERSONAL BRANDING

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 272Dressing on the Plus Side - Part 1

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 278Dressing on the Plus Side - Part 2

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 283'Plus Size' Sarees

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 290Camouflage an Ultra Thin Body

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 297Redefining Work Wear for Indian Urbanistas

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 305The Indian 'Waist-Coat' Evolution

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3133 Styles for Men that Need Revival

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 319'Shades' for the Eyes

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 328'Appropriate' Authenticity

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 333Step out in Style

. . . . . . . . . . . 344Lipstick is to a woman, what a necktie is to a man

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 350Corporate Dressing for Diwali

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 359Winter Blues

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 364Pantone Color 2017 - Greenery

Reena Saxena

Reena Saxena is an Image and Success Coach,trainer and content developer. She comes from aBFSI background.

Her published poetry appears in two anthologies -'Com Pen Di Um' published in Indiana, USA and'Life As It Happens' published in India. A lot more isin the offing in 2017.

The book is a collection of blogs on Behavior Management, Thinking Mapsand Personal Branding.

ReInventionshttp://reinventions.in

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ReInventions

Reena Saxena