relational resilience - whytry

Relational Resilience - page 1

Relational Resilience1. Why do geese form this shape when they fly?

2. What types of resistance do you have in your life?

3. Who depends on you? How can the knowledge that others depend on you give you strength and motivation?

4. Who supports you? How can you draw strength from the support of others?

Remember: Relational Resilience comes from the knowledge that others depend on you, and the support you feel from others.

Definition:Your greatest motivation to make good decisions, put more effort into life, and not give up is the knowledge that others depend on you. You also draw strength from the emotion-al support of friends, family members, deceased loved ones, a pet, or even a stranger who smiles your way.

Secondary Concepts:• Support systems can come from simple or in-depth interac-

tions.• Influence is reciprocal: You can both give and receive resil-

ience in the ways you approach your interactions with others, even those interactions that seem trivial or mundane.

Personalize your Lesson:

• Who depends on you in life? How do these people increase your resilience?

• Who supports you in life? How has this support contributed to your resilience?

• How has turning outward in service to others increased your capacity to be resilient?

Relational ResilienceResilience for Youth - Unit 3

Vocabulary

• Gaggle• Resistance• Dependence• Support system• Turn outward


Discussion

Ask and discuss the following with students:

• Are you ever amazed watching birds fly? • Take geese, for example. Have you ever seen a flock of geese?• What do you call a flock of geese? (Answer: a gaggle)• Have you ever noticed how geese often fly together? It’s pretty unusual to see a goose flying

by itself.• What shape do geese form when they fly?

Introducing Relational Resilience

Visual Analogy Walkthrough

Discussion Point 1: Why do geese fly in a V?

Discussion

Ask and discuss the following with students:

• Why do you think geese form a “V” shape when flying?

• How fast do you think they fly? (Answer: In some cases, 40 to 50 miles an hour!)

• Have you ever stuck your hand out the window of the car driving that fast and felt the wind re-sistance? Can you imagine if you had to go for a walk in a 40-mile-an-hour headwind? It would take a lot of energy.

• How do you think geese are able to fly so far despite all the wind resistance pushing back on them?

• When geese fly in a V, they reduce the resistance by as much as 70% compared to one bird flying alone.

Discussion Point 2: Resistance

Discussion

Ask and discuss:

• In your life, do you have any “headwind,” or resistance? What types of resistance -- or chal-lenges -- do you or your peers experience in life?












Help students come up with examples of the resistance or challenges that they or their peers encounter. Think about what they may be experiencing in the three main environments of home, school, and peers. Examples may include homework, teachers, peer pressure, or family challenges.

Ask and discuss:

• From the example of the flock of geese, what can we learn about how we can manage the resis-tance we encounter in life?

Explain to students that geese manage wind resistance by sticking together as a group. We can manage challenges in life by relying on the help of others who care about us.

Ask and discuss:

• What or who motivates you to move forward with the resistance in your life? In other words, imagine that one of these geese represents you. Who would the geese around you be?

Help students come up with examples of all of the positive influences that they have in their life. These people could include a sports team, you as the teacher, band members, friends, siblings, etc.

Discussion Point 3: You are resilient because others depend on you.

Discussion

Explain to students that when you draw strength from other people’s dependence on you, that is an important part of something called Relational Resilience.

Ask and discuss:

• Sometimes in life, we might find ourselves at the head of the “V” like the goose in this pic-ture. If the goose at the head of the “V” represented you, who would the geese in the rest of the “V” represent? In other words, who depends on you?

Help students come up with examples of all of the people in life who depend on them. Examples might include:• This class depends on them. Our success in this class is dependent on everyone participating. • Their friends depend on them. They get to help decide if their group of friends is engaging in

fun, positive behaviors or negative behaviors.• If students are on a team, in a club, or part of another organized group, that group depends on

them.• Family members depend on them to help their home be a happy place from day to day. • Teachers depend on them. They are working at this school for THEM. They have high hopes for

their students, and students have to do their part to make their teachers’ jobs worthwhile and not let them down.

• If students have jobs, their employer depends on them.







• The community depends on them. They get to decide whether they want to grow up contribut-ing to the community in positive ways, or hurt the community with poor decisions.

Ask and discuss:

• How can these people’s dependence on you give you strength or be motivating? • How do your decisions affect these people or groups?

Discussion Point 4: You draw strength from the sup-port of others.

Discussion

Explain to students that when the leader goose gets tired of flying, it moves to the end of the “V” formation and another goose takes the lead. Another way that geese support the goose at the head is by “cheering” it on. They encourage and support the leader by honk-ing. Tell students that, like the leader goose, they can push through difficult times by drawing strength from the support of others.

Ask and discuss:

• How can you draw strength from the support of others?

Directions

Have students take a few minutes to make a list of the people in their life who support them.

Discussion Point 5: You turn outward and serve others in the moment.

Note: If you are using the animated PowerPoint, be sure to click “next” here to animate in the additional geese.

Discussion

Explain to students that when a goose gets sick, is injured, or gets tired and must leave the formation, other geese leave the for-mation too, flying with him to the ground to help and protect the vulnerable goose. These companions remain with this goose until it dies or is able to fly again.

Ask and discuss:

• Have you ever felt like the goose that’s falling from the formation? How?• Have you ever been like the geese that go to help the falling goose? How?

Explain to students that to move forward with the resistance in their life, they have to use both












parts of Relational Resilience -- they have to recognize the people who depend on them and work hard for them, and they have to graciously accept the help and support of others who care about them.

Ask and discuss:

• What do you think it means to “turn outward”?

Explain that when you turn outward, you try to take notice of the needs and positive traits of the people around you and act accordingly. Turning outward means you express gratitude and help where you see a need. You can turn outward in small ways. You can say “thank you” to the person who takes your order at the fast food restaurant, to your bus driver, your teachers, your parents, and anyone else who is serving you in some way. You can hold the door for someone with their arms full, give people compliments, or introduce yourself to someone who seems lonely.

Ask and discuss:

• In what areas of your life can you turn outward?







relational resilience - whytry

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