INTRODUCTION TO MAKING FRIENDS

Resources for Helping People with and without Disabilities

Establish Relationships & Friendships

thearcofmass.org/programs/widening-the-circle/

PURPOSE

This slide show has been developed as part of the Real Friends Project which is a collaboration between The Arc of Massachusetts and the MA

Department of Developmental Services. Its purposes are to help people:-better understand the benefits of

friendships,essential to ordinary lives.

-explore the variety of approaches that help people with and without

disabilities connect with each other and -learn how they can locate helpful

resources.

Definition of Friendship

What is a friend? --- We have chemistry! We enjoy each other’s company. We trust, understand, respect and appreciate each other. We like how we feel when we’re together. We are close even when we are apart. We look forward to being together. We commit over some time. We give to each other. We may not give in the same way but what we give and what we receive is of great value to each of us.

YOU KNOW YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET WHEN…

You're more up to date with friends whom you've never met than with REAL friends.

What are the BENEFITS of Friendships Between

People With & Without Disabilities?

Friendships Benefit Individuals With and Without Disabilities By:

-Being HAPPIER! -Being HEALTHIER!-Being SAFER!-Reducing isolation and loneliness.-Increasing their self-confidence.-Being exposed to more perspectives.-Being part of a larger circle that may lead to jobs, intimate relationships, etc.-What other Benefits can YOU think of?

Friendships Benefit Families By:

-Providing natural opportunities for respite.-Opportunity for other family members to connect. Disability often isolates whole families.-Peace of mind knowing that their family member truly BELONGS.-What other benefits can you think of for the family?

Communities Benefit By:

-More opportunities for community members to learn FACTS about various disabilities. -Realization that people with disabilities are an asset to their community.-What other benefits to the community can you think of?

What are the OBSTACLES to Friendships?

Some Obstacles May Be Personal

Differences are often frightening to people and can interfere with relationships. Some differences that we need to help people better understand include:-looking different -using special equipment-communicating in unusual ways-behaving “oddly” -needing assistants (PCAs)

What else can you think of?

But Most Obstacles are in our Environment and Attitudes

But most obstacles to relationships between people with and without disabilities are in not in the person with a disability, they are in our environment and our attitudes. These include:

-inaccessible places.-segregated living situations, schools, workplaces, recreation programs.-general feelings of fear, misunderstanding and pity towards people with disabilities.

What other obstacles can you think of?

There are Several Ingredients Necessary for Relationships to

Happen, Including:

Opportunities to CONNECT with others

Maximizing SOCIAL SKILLS

Knowing the FACTS about various disabilities

SUPPORT to initiate and sustain relationships

People Need to be Able to CONNECT With Each Other

This Can Happen Wherever People

LIVE LEARN

WORK PLAY

People Should Maximize Their SOCIAL SKILLS

People with and without disabilities can learn

Better Social Skills. The better your skills, the more likely you are to have relationships and friendships.

But mastery of social skills should NEVER be a pre-requisite for friendships!

People With and Without Disabilities Should Know the

FACTS About Disabilities

There are many Awareness Programs that help people get a better understanding

about various disabilities. Understanding makes acceptance and relationships much

more likely.

SUPPORT May be Needed for Relationships to Develop

Opportunities to Connect, Maximizing Social Skills and Knowing the Facts about various disabilities still May Not be Enough for relationships to develop. Here are some approaches that intentionally support relationships and have shown some success:

All parties can benefit greatly from matches like this (Big Brother/Big Sister: www.bbbs.org)

OR THIS:(http://www.pyd.org/)

Elders with disabilities have much to share with young people (Alzheimer’s Buddies)

When kids with and without disabilities are friends, they are more likely to have

friends as they grow older! (www.arcmass.org)

Some organizations consciously work to help establish and sustain relationships

(Beta Community Partnerships: www.betacomm.org)

Real friends are critical in high school! (Best Buddies: www.bestbuddiesmassachusetts.org) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zC89ipkdGg

Citizen Advocacy(www.nqca2012.org)

Building Futures(http://www.nemasketgroup.org/services.php#toggle_building)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6ZLhSSEoKw&feature=player_embedded

Bridges to Faith(www.bridgestofaith.org)

http://vimeo.com/24737555

UNIFIED SPORTSSpecial Olympics (http://www.specialolympicsma.org/get-involved/as-an-athletepartner/)

More Resources

Your Local DDS-Funded Family Support Center disabilityinfo.org/mnip/db/tacr/OfficeByAgency.aspx?id=21

Your Local Chapter of The Arc thearcofmass.org/about/chapters

Your Closest Chapter of MA Network of Information Providersdisabilityinfo.org/Resources/MNIP/members

New England Index www.disabilityinfo.org

The Real Friends Project Websitethearcofmass.org/programs/widening-the-circle