respect: how to lead at any level

How to Lead

at Any LevelRESPECT

Copyright Caswell Corporate Coaching Company

Adapted from the CCCC Practical MBA

Leadership is about convincing and motivating people to

cooperate in a course of action

Leadership applies to every interaction you have with other

people

Up, down or with your peers

LEADERSHIP

Bad/Lazy leadership avoids the ef for t involved in convincing and motivating others

It is based on cooperation by fear “Do what I say or else …”

It relies on employment contracts, social norms, status, position or authority

These inhibit the follower from exercising the choice to cooperate or not

It is inherently disrespectful of others

Lazy leaders don’t care about the ideas of others.

BAD LEADERSHIP

Without cooperation, leadership is impotent, pointless and

foolish

“I would like to see anyone, prophet, king or God, convince a

thousand cats to do the same thing at the same time.” (Neil Gaiman)

COOPERATION

Cooperation makes things

work. Lack of cooperation

makes things fail

We are a company of people

cooperating towards a

shared mission/vision

Working in cooperation, we

can move mountains!

COOPERATION

Understand it

Why do people cooperate?

What prevents people from cooperating?

Learn how to foster and strengthen it

How can you as a leader make people cooperate?

How can you get the most cooperation from people?

BUILDING COOPERATION

Because they choose to

Seems like a truism but it is important to recognize that cooperation

is a choice, not an obligation

Because humans are wired to help

It is in our nature to cooperate because cooperation helps us survive

We are rewarded by the positive experience

WHY DO PEOPLE COOPERATE?

People don’t cooperate when they feel threatened

Misunderstandings

Insults

Lack of clarity

Defensive body language

Negative tone of voice

Posturing

Rank or hierarchy

Things that are different than expected

It doesn’t take much

WHY DO PEOPLE NOT COOPERATE?

When attacked, threatened – we react fast

Don’t think, MOVE!

Our brains are wired this way

Brain 1: don’t think, just react

Brain 1: Logic – takes a lazy back seat most of the time

Negative emotions jump to the fore

Brain 1 triggers a host of physiological changes

Prepares for fight or flight

Fear, anger

SURVIVAL IS CRITICAL

The biggest computer in the world!

A movie of your life with:

Pictures

Sound

Smells

Emotions

Thoughts arise out of Brain One without our knowing it:

How did you know where to come for this meeting?

How did you recognize the person across the table?

What is 2+2?

Remembering something you saw 20 years ago

BRAIN 1: THE COMPUTER

Loaded with all your accumulated experience

One look and you know if its good

One look and you know if its ready

One look and you know if it has value

One look and you make a judgement

Forms an answer in a fraction of a second

About things we know

Draws on our immense brain power

We don’t have to sift through a bunch of files

The answer just pops out when we need it


Isn’t always reliable

We don’t know what we don’t know

Forms and answer with the flimsiest information

Stereotypes get applied with no basis in fact

The son is like the father

All people from that tribe behave the same

Finds patterns and connections that don’t exist

Tries to connect the dots and convinces us that it has the right

answer

“I have a pretty good intuition about these things.”

“I can’t explain it, just trust me on this."


Trust me

It intentionally convinces us that we are right even when we do not

know we are right

We ignore details, convinced that we understand the “big picture”.

But details can matter a lot.

We are blind to our errors!

Why?


We are wired to react in order to survive

Mouse vs snake

Bricks falling from a building

Screeching brakes

Amygdala of Brain 1 is 100 times faster than logic of Brain 2

A strong emotional and physical response to a threat

The speed of reaction is critical to survival in a chaotic world

SURVIVAL IS CRITICAL

The clunky logic processor

Brain 2 is lazy

Brain 2 prefers that Brain 1 does all the work

Brain 2 is will ing to ignore details if Brain 1 has a reasonable

answer

BRAIN 2: LOGIC

Example:

Steve is a very shy and withdrawn, invariably helpful but with very

little interest in people or the world.

A meek and tidy soul, he has a need for order and structure and a

passion for detail.

Is Steve more likely to be a librarian or a farmer?

BRAIN 2 WORKING WITH BRAIN 1

Is Steve more likely to be a librarian or a farmer?

Brain One quickly associates the characteristics of Steve as similar

to many librarians.

Brain Two is not called on, so it leaves well enough alone.

However, some people will pause and reflect

i.e. call upon Brain Two

Brain Two will say that farmers outnumber librarians 100 to 1, so on

any probability scale, Steve is more likely to be a farmer.

AND BRAIN TWO WILL BE RIGHT.


Brain 1 often fails so try to answer the following questions

with logic instead. Is Brain 2 being lazy?


How many animals of each kind did Moses take

into the Ark?

ANSWER WITH LOGIC

Pick up a scarf with one end in each hand. Now tie a

knot in the scarf without letting go of the ends. Can

you do it?

ANSWER WITH LOGIC

A bat and ball cost ₦1100 and the difference between

them is ₦1000. How much does each cost?

ANSWER WITH LOGIC

Lily pads on a lake double their area each day. They

cover the lake in 48 days. How long do they take to

cover half the lake?

ANSWER WITH LOGIC

It takes 5 machines 5 minutes to make 5 widgets. How

long does it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets?

ANSWER WITH LOGIC

If we have a great concern, Brain 1 invokes Brain 2. In that

case it is Brain 2 that can let us down.

We begin with a great idea (from Brain 1) and are about to institute

it, but we have some ‘nagging’ concerns.

So we invoke Brain 2 to think it through.

But many times, this slows the process down or even halts a good

idea or action from ever happening – Analysis Paralysis

BRAIN2 WORKING AGAINST BRAIN 1

Why we have lost is because Brain 1 drew on not just an idea,

but thousands if not millions bits of data residing in your

brain. Brain 2, however, was trying to sort it all out – but that

is not possible for our Brain 1’s processing is far too complex.

The challenge is to know if Brain One is working from

knowledge or merely connecting dots.

Example: Athletes lose ability to play because they are ‘over -

thinking’.

“Just play your game”, says the Coach.

BRAIN2 WORKING AGAINST BRAIN 1

We are susceptible to systematic error

We don’t know it and we won’t believe it despite all the evidence

around us every day

We live in a world where passion leads more than logic

Just look at the stories in the newspaper

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

Poor decisions

Can you point out

Dumb decisions in TCN, TSP or your department?

Dumb decisions in politics?

Dumb decisions regarding professional athletes?

We will have poor decisions unless we introduce some forced

logic into the process

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

Emotions trump logic

Emotions always dominated because survival must always dominate

Emotions are natural, largely uncontrollable human dimension

Cooperation stops or is reduced in the face of protective emotions

THE GREATEST MANAGEMENT SECRET

Neutralize “natural” defensive emotions if we are to cooperate

more

There are specific things we can do:

Be aware and think about your reactions to every situation

Learn how to diffuse emotions and get back to the logic phase

Stop blaming and criticizing which only stirs up emotions

In short – use respect

FOSTERING COOPERATION THEN?

Respect is the essential framework for guiding people

Respect is

Appreciating that the people around you have different thoughts and

values

Allowing those people to cherish those thoughts without censure in

any form whatsoever

About NOT springing other peoples’ defensive emotions into action

RESPECT

Respect fosters cooperation

Through cooperation, things get done

The logical way

The correct way

The successful way

RESPECT

There are things you can do that are within your control

There are things that can be done in a group setting – a

“respect system”

HOW TO RESPECT

Three things you can do:

Avoid the use of the word “you” in a problem situation

Don’t blame; just state the problem

Start the solution with “we” or, preferably, with “I”

This isn’t about right or wrong. Its about not triggering

negative emotions in the other person. Their negative

emotions will work against you (poor/ineffective leadership).

RESPECT IN YOUR CONTROL

An absolute “no -no”

Blame is a sure fire way of triggering negative emotions – it is an

attack

Don’t blame people even when they are obviously guilty

Your role in the blame game

It lifts your own ego and self-esteem

Better to take some of the blame yourself

Do you want a result?

If yes, keep blame out of the picture

BLAME

Emotions are normal

We just want the positive ones

Conflict is also normal and essential

We all have different ideas, perspectives and interests

As soon as feelings enter a discussion it becomes emotional

Negative emotions prevent getting at real issues

We need to take steps to prevent escalation of emotions by diffusing

them

Diffusing emotions is the first priority for the leader that

wants results

DEFUSING EMOTIONS

As soon as emotions occur in a discussion

Recognize the emotions as real and address the underlying issue

Control your own reactions

Increase your own Emotional Intelligence

Read about it

You can choose how to react rather than blindly lashing out

Avoid blame and counter attack

An eye for an eye will only make you both blind

Get back to the facts and away from emotions

Understand and address the fears of the other person’s personality/character type

Don’t be afraid to say no. Being nebulous or misleading when you don’t want to say no is passive aggressive and rarely helpful

Always provide an escape clause so the listener doesn’t feel trapped

Being trapped triggers defensive reactions and resentment

Allow people to say no with ease. You will find they will often rather cooperate

STEPS TO DEFUSING EMOTIONS

Bad

“Here are some

corrections”

Corrections suggest error

(blame)

Corrections suggest

control (trapped)

Better

“Here are some

suggestions”

Suggestions are helpful

Suggestions can be

ignored (no trap)

DIFFUSING EMOTIONS EXAMPLE

Type Is described as a … Whose biggest fears are …

PProducer, who is driven, direct, in

a hurry and sometimes hard on

people

That it won’t get done, that P will have

to take on the job in order to ensure it

gets done

AAnalyzer, who is careful, cautions,

thorough, orderly, analytical,

organized and logical

Of chaos, risk and disorder, or having to

clean up the mess afterwards

VVisionary, who has a vision of

things being better, newer and

who is creative and full of ideas

Of not being recognized, of not getting

credit or special honours. Also fear of

being constrained

FFriend, who cares deeply about

people, driven to help others, is

empathetic and consults people

to get their cooperation

Of not belonging. Also fear of

alienating anyone or of having conflict.

TREAT THE FEAR OF THE PERSONALITY

The greatest secret: emotions trump logic all the time

Emotions can be dif fused by respect

There is a process and a skill involved

Cooperation can force logic to the fore

Respect is the mechanism to achieve results through

increased cooperation

SUMMARY

The seven key motivators

1. To be in control of decisions, which fall within a person’s own domains

2. To be appreciated in their personal environments or on the job, as indicated by the people important to them, especially their partners, parents or bosses, listening to them

3. To feel that in their work, they are contributing to something worthwhile in the grand scheme of things

4. To achieve success in what they are doing

5. To move, upon achieving that success, to tasks of increasing complexity or variation, i.e. to learn

6. To feel that they are growing from that learning

7. To be allowed to make mistakes, since mistakes create the deepest learning imprint (allowing mistakes permits people to take the risk to open new doors)

Respect is ensuring that al l of the above conditions occur for those who interact with you, who associate or repor t to you or otherwise.

RESPECT AND HUMAN BEHAVIOUR

As clear as 1, 2, 3

1. We must clearly understand the differences between people and

how they affect each individual’s chosen behaviour

2. Success at work depends on aligning the character with the job

3. Any group of individuals will have a resulting, predictable,

collective way of doing things based on combining the

personalities of the individuals

RESPECT AND HUMAN BEHAVIOUR

Four Personality Types

PProducer, who is driven, direct,

in a hurry and sometimes hard

on people

AAnalyzer, who is careful,

cautions, thorough, orderly,

analytical, organized and

logical






empathetic and consults

people to get their cooperation

Every individual is different

Most people are dominant in one or two but may have a bit of all of the traits

PAVF

The traits have inherent conflicts so people with different traits will have interpersonal conflicts

Positively managing conflicts is important

INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES

People

PProducer, who is driven, direct,

in a hurry and sometimes hard

on people

AAnalyzer, who is careful,

cautions, thorough, orderly,

analytical, organized and

logical






empathetic and consults

people to get their cooperation

Important to find a fit

Important for jobs to

match personalities

For happiness

For good performance

Selection of new hires

should be based on the

fit

Don’t hire a P to do an A

job

MATCHING CHARACTER TO JOBS

Follows the character of its people and culture

Balance of PAVF is the goal but the focus depends on the stage of the

company and what it needs

Since no one has all characteristics in sufficient balance, we

have to work as a group and encourage group efforts

Decisions formed in meetings

Action taken by teams

THE BEHAVIOUR OF A GROUP

EVOLUTION OF AN ORGANIZATION

WOOING

(PAV F)

BABY

(PAVF)

TODDLER

(PAV F)

TEENAGER

(PAV F)

EXCELLENCE

( PAVF )

CONTENTMENT

(PA VF)

NOBILITY

(PA VF)

SCAPEGOAT

(PA _F)

SLUGGISHNESS

(_ A _ _)

DEATH

(_ _ _ _)

FLIPPANT

(_ _ V _)

CRIB DEATH

(P _ _ _)

EGO TRAP

(P _ V _)

PREMATURE

NOBILITY

(PA VF)

UNFULFILLED

VISIONARY

(PAV F)

PEAK PERFORMANCE

NO PERFORMANCE

GROWING DYING

A – analysis, bureaucracy, process based

Doesn’t exist in a start -up but grows to dominate and hangs in to the

bitter end

V – vision, creativity, innovation, change for the better

Required at the beginning but once A starts to dominate V, the

company is in decline

The leaders’ task

fight to maintain the balance of PAVF

TREND OF A & V

Work in teams of dif ferent people

Accept conflict but diffuse the emotions (respect)

Fight the bureaucracy

Develop simple, quick processes

Review and change old processes

Delegate effectively

Support V

LISTEN: V is about listening to others

Stakeholders, Board but most importantly the staff

Support creativity and innovation

Allow mistakes

Drive change and corporate learning

MAINTAINING BALANCE

Force logic into the system

Meetings are the best tool

Learn how to hold painless meetings

For routine business

To solve problems

Make meetings a safe environment

Control the emotions

Use meetings to listen

Keep minutes

Record actions

Follow-up

WORKING IN TEAMS

Recal l the key mot ivators

1. To be in control of decisions, which fall within a person’s own domains

2. To be appreciated in their personal

environments or on the job, as indicated by the people important to them , especially their partners, parents or bosses,

listening to them3. To feel that in their work, they are contributing to something worthwhile in the grand

scheme of things

4. To achieve success in what they are doing

5. To move, upon achieving that success, to tasks of increasing complexity or variation, i.e. to learn

6. To feel that they are growing from that learning

7. To be allowed to make mistakes, since mistakes create the deepest learning imprint (allowing mistakes permits people to take the risk to open new doors)

LISTENING

Listening Programs

Find ways to seek comments from all staff

Anonymous methods help

Suggestion boxes

Publically address every comment and your response

Meetings

Attendance should cut across levels, including lower levels

Straight talk – allow subordinates to speak their minds

Be able to demonstrate that you listened and that you heard and

reacted

Remember: Listening is a key motivator and a critical

leadership tool

LISTENING

The enemy

We’ve always done it this way (but I can’t remember why – loss of V)

Are we still using NEPA or PHCN forms?

I need to cover my backside (scapegoat) so I’ll hide in processes

Avoiding blame and fault is more important than reasons (loss of V) or

achieving results (loss of P)

Entitlement without reason

There is no reason for it (no V) but I’m entitled

FIGHT BUREAUCRACY

Support the V

Every process needs a reason why it exists

When the reason no longer makes sense, change the process

Focus on results – That is what we are paid to do

Accountability for results not process

A perfect process that doesn’t deliver results is a signal of corporate death

Feedback to staff

Regular performance monitoring is very important

Listen

V comes as ideas but most often as complaints

Don’t shut out the complainers – embrace them and react!

Support listening with systems and processes

Listening isn’t consistent or doesn’t happen otherwise

FIGHT BUREAUCRACY

Leadership is about cooperation

Cooperation requires respect

Respect people by providing the seven motivators

Emotions trump logic all the time

Work in balanced teams

Fight bureaucracy & support the vision

Listen!

CONCLUSION

respect: how to lead at any level

Leadership & Management