Respecting yourself

Who are you? How do you figure it out? Ask yourself… WHO AM I?

Likes? Dislikes? Interests? Strengths? Weaknesses? Personality qualities? Physical qualities? Beliefs? Values? Other?

Part I: Discovering who you are

(Your first name) (Four personality traits that describe you) (Four physical traits that describe you) Related to Admirer of (three people or ideas) Who feels (three items) Who needs (three items) Who gives (three items) Who fears (three items) Who would like to see (three items) Resident of (your city and state) (Your last name)

Bio-Poem

Adam Random, energetic, thoughtful, caring Bald head, tall, brown eyes, glasses Son of Roger and Brenda Admirer of Christ, Maegan, and those who help others Who feels happy to teach, willing to be used and

stressed sometimes Who needs diligence, patience, and trust Who gives time, compassion, and help Who fears hurt, selfishness, and snakes Who would like to see China again, all the continents,

and true happiness Resident of Valley, Alabama Keel

Bio-Poem

Part II: Being true to yourself

After you have asked yourself “WHO AM I?” you must learn what it means to accept those things about yourself.

Recognize that they make you unique!

In the heel of my thumbare whorls, whirls, wheels

in a unique design:mine alone.

What a treasure to own!My own flesh, my own feelings.

No other, however grand or base,can ever contain the same.

My signature,thumbing the pages of my time.

My universe key,my singularity.

Impress, implant,I am myself,

of all my atom part I am the sum.And out of my blood and my brainI make my own interior weather,

my own sun and rain.Imprint my mark upon the world,

whatever I shall become.

“Thumbprint”by Eve Merriam

Part II: Being true to yourself

After you have asked yourself “WHO AM I?” you must learn what it means to accept those things about yourself.

Recognize that they make you unique! Just like a thumbprint, you cannot

compare yourself to others. You may recognize similarities and

differences, but you have to accept that your own combination makes up the ONLY you there will EVER be.

As you discover your strengths and weaknesses, you will identify things that will cause you to challenge yourself.

It is better to face your struggles with honesty and integrity.

Examples: Academic Anger Sadness Apathy Selfishness

Part II: Being true to yourself

How you treat others Family relationships Body image Procrastination Peer/Relationship Pressure

Be assertive and stand up for yourself in all of your uniqueness!

When we feel “threatened,” we do not feel cared for.

We may get angry, frustrated, upset, etc. because we want to feel: Accepted Secure Significant

But what does it mean to be assertive?

Part III: Fight for yourself

Passive Behavior involves saying nothing in a response, keeping feelings to yourself, hiding feelings from others, and perhaps even hiding your feelings from yourself. Passive behavior is often dishonest and involves letting other people violate your personal right to be treated with respect and dignity.

Aggressive Behavior involves expressing your feelings indirectly through insults, sarcasm, labels, put-downs, and hostile statements and actions. Aggressive behavior involves expressing thoughts, feelings, and opinions in a way that violates others’ rights to be treated with respect and dignity.

Part III: Fight for yourself

Assertive behavior involves describing your feelings, thoughts, opinions, and preferences directly to another person in an honest and appropriate way that respects both you and the other person. It enables you to act in your own best interests, to stand up for yourself without undue anxiety, to express honest feelings comfortably, and to exercise personal rights without denying the rights of others. Assertive behavior is direct, honest, self-enhancing self-expression that is not hurtful to others and is appropriate for the receiver and the situation.

Part III: Fight for yourself

Passive Aggressive AssertiveIndifferent Lifeless Doesn’t care Avoids the problem “I’m not good enough” “It doesn’t matter” Builds anger Hopes that needs will be met Lacks confidence Non active Non aggressive

Attacks person verbally or physically Hostile Sarcastic Blaming Selfish Opinionated Acts out in anger Demanding Fighting Physical Emotional

Speaks clearly and confidently Honest Deals directly with anger Appropriate Considers the rights of the other person Deals with the problem Active Cares about self Cares about results Cares about the situation

“I feel…when…

because...”

You Other

Invitation

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Start by identifying your feeling - mad, sad, frustrated, worried, etc. I feel …

State the reason you feel this way or what happened that led you to those feelings. When …

Try to identify the reason you the person’s actions led to those feelings for you. Because…

Broken Record Broken record means using the same statement over and over

again to reinforce a point in a situation where you they feel under pressure to do something you don’t want to do.

Simply repeat a statement such as: ‘I don’t want to do this’ ‘I don’t agree with this’  ‘I refuse to be involved here’ ‘I am sorry you feel that way’

Speak politely but firmly. The advantage of this method is that you are not making an apology or excuse and do not have to think of clever things to say.

Examples are: ‘I don’t like your attitude’ ‘I don’t have to put up with you doing this’ ‘I want you to stop hassling me’ ‘I don’t interfere with you so please leave me alone’.

A specific instance: ‘I don’t like you calling me names every time I pass by you in

the hallway. It annoys me’. Allow time for the other person to respond. You may get an

immediate apology because the person involved may not fully realize how hurtful their behavior has been.

If a positive reaction does not emerge, continue with: ‘I want the name-calling to stop. If it happens again, I will report it’.

A student wants another student to stop calling him rude names… Common response: “Hey! If you call me a rude name one more time I’m

going to punch you in the face!” “I” statement response: “I feel very sad when I’m called mean names

because it hurts my feelings. I like interacting with people who use nice words.”

A female student becomes angry when her ‘friend’ borrows her favorite coat and returns it with stains and a tear… Common response: “I can’t believe you broke my jacket! Are you ever

going to grow up?!” “I” statement response: “I feel upset when my things aren’t taken care

of because it’s expensive and difficult for me to replace them. I need you to take care of my things like I do when you borrow them.”

A teenage boy is annoyed with his parents, who ask him repetitively if he has completed all of his homework each night… Common response: “Lay off me!” “I” statement response: “I feel frustrated and disappointed when I’m

reminded over and over to do my homework because I’m more responsible than I used to be.”

Look bully straight in the eye. Stand up straight. Speak loudly and firmly. Do not ignore. Do not look away. Do not fight back. Do not hit. Stand up for yourself.

Be Assertive: Not Passive or Aggressive

Are you letting someone or something take it away from you?

Are you letting someone or something limit you?

Do you feel like you can’t? Do you feel like circumstances or situations

prohibit you from fighting for yourself? Fight for YOUR success! You have the power!

Part III: Fight for yourself

Using pictures, words, or symbols clipped from magazines that represent things you enjoy doing or own, places you’ve been, people you admire, or careers you desire, create a collage that represents YOU.

Part III: Fight for yourself