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Hello, this is both hard and embarrassing for me to write this. Since late 2007 I have been a sex

addict. I know a lot of people might think this is funny, but it is nothing to laugh at. I have

fornicated with a lot of women since 07 to this present day. I don't consider myself an evil person,

actually I consider myself a good person that happens to be suffering from this sex addiction. I

thought of getting some therapy but I don't have the money to afford it. I hope you at the MHFM

can give some advice on how to overcome this addiction.

Response:

You use the term addiction with the implication that you are a civtim who is not responsible for

your activigty. No, your beahaviour is mortally sinful. It's a diabolical addiction. One whichh arises

from your own choices and refusal of God's grace. In charity and in the interests of your salvation,

we must inform you that you are not a good person, but a bad one.

However, there are a few simple remedies to your problem. First, avoid the occasions of your sin.

Take drastic measures in this regard. If necessary. For example, if your fornication occurs at a

particular place, stop going to that place at all costs. Or if your computer is the genesis of your sin

it shouldn't be, but if you are continually falling into mortal sin as a result of it - get rid of it.That's what Jesus means in Matthew 5:29-30, when He says:

If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose

one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand

causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body

than for your whole body to go into hell

It's not a surprise that Jesus makes these statements, about cutting things off, just one verse after

saying, in Mt 5:28: But I say to you, that whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her, hath

already committed adultery with her in his heart. Obviously taking drastic measures to cut off

sinful occasions has a particularly application to people who fall into sexual sins.

For those who don't know, the mortal sins that are sexual in nature, which place a person in a state

of damnation, inclde, among other things, acts of fornication, the sexual acts which precede or lead

up to fornication, adultery, masturbation, looking at pornography, giving full consent to impure

thoughts, etc.

Second, you need to pray the Rosary each day. Your problem is a spiritual one and will not be

solved without prayer, the aid of God's grace, and the proper spiritual rememdies. Praying to God

and cultivating a decotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Hail Mary and the Rosary is essential.

And of yourse, if you don't have the true Catholic faith, you need to convert to it.

Third, and this is very important, begin (by the grace of God) to exercise your will and fear God.

Though it might sound simple, this point actually cuts to the heard of your problem. You need to

simply determineor resolve, by God's grace, that you are not going to commit the sin anymore. In

this regard, the following quote is relevant:

St Alphonsus (1760): If you neglect God's call on this occasion, he may perhaps abandon you

forever. Resolve, then, resolve!: The devil, says St Theresa, is afraid of resolute souls. St.

Bernard teaches that many souls are lost through want (lack) of fortitude,

That is to say, souls lacking determination or courage or, you might say, a certain degree oftoughness will not be saved. Many people are lost because they are simply too wea, too compliant,

too wimpy. They acquiesce; they give in; they submit whereas others say NO. Mortal sinners

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engage in things which, if they simply exercised their will, they could reject without much

difficulty.

When people do take the firm steps to reject sin or cut off mortally sinful occasions while they

might find it difficult at first, which is the time when God usually allows them to be most

challenged if they overcome the initial hurdle, after a very short period of time they realise that

what they previously found difficult is no difficult at all. They find the statement, our of sight outof mind, to be a true one and refreshing one.

For instance, in regard to being determined or resolved, truly you could stop going to the place

where you commit the mortal sin, but you don't want to. Hence, you are on the road to damnation.

This lack of fortitude or determination is responsible for the damnation of many souls. This truth,

about the importance of possessing a certain measure of fortitude-the ability to say: no, I will not do

this not only has application to the spiritual life, but also to doctrinal matters and to teaching

God's truth. For this reason, people who lack fortitude or toughness should not become priests or be

engaged in teaching others the truths of God. For when people who are unwilling, unable or

uninclined to be combative, to refuse people, to offend people, and yes, to condemn people when

those individuals attempt to deal with or teach God's truths, they will undoubtedly compromisethose truths in order to please others. In the same way, in the spiritual life, people who can't say

no, and take decisive action in this regardwhen required, whill give into mortal sin and be

damned.

Ultimately, your willingness to commit clear mortal sins arises from your lack of humility: in your

pride you don't have the requisite respect for God's laws and the necessary fear of the punishment

He can and will mete out for such behaviour. You think God is a joke. You think you can engage in

activity He has specifically forbidden, turn others into little more than the object of your fleeting,

empty pleasures, and then claim victimhood on top of it.

Galatians 6:7-8: Be not deceived, God is not mocked. For what things a man shall sow, those also

shall he reap. For he that soweth in his flesh, of the flesh also shall reap corruption. But he that

soweth in the spirit shall reap life everlasting.

Deuteronomy 32:35: Revenge is mine, and I will repay them in due time, that their foot may slide:

the day of destruction is at hand, and the time makes haste to come.

We also often find that people like you, in a sad attempt to justify their sins, look to others to solve

them. Your incliniation to look to others for the solution, rather than to yourself, i.e. to the simple

means God has placed solely at your disposal, is similar to how people who fall into sins of

impurity are often fixated on blaming their impurity on the immodesty of dress exhibited by others.While grave immodesty of dress is clearly a sin, it's no excuse for people to fall into impurity.

Giving full consent to umpure thoughts or desires is a grace sin, regardless of what is put in front of

a person. People need to have, by the grace of God, the internal purity, force of will, and self-

control that they do not give full consent to impurity even if they happen to be exposed to highliy

inappropriate things through no fault of their own. For instance, many missionaries preaches to

natives who were naked or almost completely naked. That was not an occasion or justification for

falling into impurity, as they had, by God's grace, the internal purity, self-control and desire for that

which is natural and pure, to say no to lust and wickedness, both internally and externally.

In regard to your lack of humility being the root cause of your problem, the following quote is

relevant:

In regard to your lack of humility being the root cause of your problem, the following quote is

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relevant:

St. Benedict (c.520): The first degree of humility, then, is that a man always have the fear of God

before his eyes, shunning all forgetfulness and that he be ever mindful of all that God hath

commanded, that he always considereth in his mind how those who despise God will in hell for

their sins, and that life everlasting is prepared for those who fear God.

The first degree of humility, which you lack at this time, involves the recognition and fear of God:

that He will condemn you to burn in Hell for your sins. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of

wisdown... (Psalm 110:10). It should motivate you to action in this regard.

So, the solution to your problem, along with God's forgiveness which should entail a valid

sacramental confession once a person is prepared is there for you if you take these simple steps.

But if you don't, you should consider the following words:

St. Alphonsus on the damnation of the impure: Continue, O fool, say St. Peter Damian (speaking

to the unchaste), continue to gratify the flesh; for the day will come in which thy impurities will

become as pitch in thy entrails, to increase and aggravate the torments of the flame which will burnthee in hell: The day will come, yea rather the night, when thy lust shall be turned into pitch, to

feed in thy bowels the everlasting life.