rhondak funny bar signs tiki bar life a to z essays 2009 florida artist

A-Z 2005ish to 2009ish Thoughts, words, places, people and

Falling to Peaces…

RhondaK Native Florida Folk Artisthttp://www.rhondakwrites.com

http://www.rhondakwrites.com/

A is for Alan…


Who killed himself July 2008. I paint because of him…not necessarily for a good reason. He left me on a boat to prove I couldn’t live without him.

He’s been very often right…but not for the reasons he might have thought to be true.

My dreads are his living creation. People often ask me why I dreaded my hair.

It was an act of love, faith and letting things go. I still haven’t let Alan go. I may not. He’s right, I can’t live without him. So I put him in things I do each and everyday.


B is for Beer…

RhondaK Native Florida Folk Artist

http://www.rhondakwrites.com

I paint about it, write about it, plan time for it and use it as a mental space I call “hammock time”….an illusive time I long to live full time.

I like beer for breakfast. I believe that drinking after 5pm is a tremendous waste of good beer. One shouldn’t drink when tired, depressed or beat down.

It should be a time of beauty, contemplation and sublime one-ness with one’s goals, thoughts, love, ambitions…in short, time with beer should be a spirit-full experience.

I don’t entirely have a beer at 7:30am life…but it is a goal.


C is for custom…



I love doing custom signs. I don’t mass produce my work so I am in a good mental space for custom work. In a way, everything I do is custom for an unknown person I’ll one day meet.

But custom work has stories. Often people write me long, long letters with all kinds of pictures and they really want me to know why they want a sign. I appreciate that. Sometimes I live with weeks for a sign, particularly if it is about loss and memory.

I love painting people’s pets. I love writing down their words. I love creating memorials to friendships, love and laughter.

I like it when someone invites me into their life. This is John Sollazzo who plays a lot in Siesta Key.


D is for Dog



Yeah, yeah this is a custom dog painting.

But I liked painting this dog. She is a sweety who lives on Anna Maria with a man who adores her big brown eyes.


E is for Effort



I work 7 days a week and often 14+ hours a day. By the time I set up at a show…something is bleeding. It is always a special surprise what…a splinter a ½” into a cuticle, a paperclip up a fingernail or a board falling on my foot reminding me that flip flops aren’t work boots.

Inevitably, someone going through my set up says…”I can do that…”

Really? Nice. Thank you. Could you bring me a Bandaid?

When you make your way through an art or craft show, make an effort to appreciate that if you could do that, you’d be right there with the people doing it.


F is for FREE



Free work?

Often I’ll have a few free signs in my set up. They are usually inspirational. Maybe something that has gotten me through a bad place.

“Surviving the impossible often makes more possible” is one I often give away. I just put a FREE sticker on it and wait for the right person to find it.

They often do. They often really need it. I like that words and even art at my level has such power..and such solace…and strength.


G is for Grateful



I am grateful to Captain Kathe and Karen Bell of Star Fish Company in Cortez, Florida.

Back when I was struggling to paint up enough signs, hang on to two crazed pugs…to make some gas money and maybe food, they bought me an umbrella.

I don’t do shows that require tents. I always take that umbrella as it was my first store. And it stands for the power of people’s belief.

Good intentions often pave the road to making a huge, moving and powerful difference in people’s life. I paint Star Fish’s tables for free and anything else I can do as I appreciate them always.


G is for GratefulKaren Bell’s Star Fish Company

http://www.starfishcompany.com/starfishcompany/index.html and Capt. Kathe

http://www.captkathe.com


http://www.starfishcompany.com/starfishcompany/index.html

http://www.captkathe.com/

http://www.captkathe.com/


H is for HOT



I love working in the heat.

I paint outside and when I can at shows. When it is hot the paint dries in bolder colors.

I don’t have a traditional studio. Sometimes I use a found Dorito’s bag to mix my paint on.

I’ve painted in yards, porches, docks, parking lots, beaches ( oh yes, nice) and just anywhere.

I’d like to have an artist’s studio…but it’d look a lot like a tiki bar with no sides.

I love the sun, the wind and all that is Florida.


I is for Idiots



Don’t listen to them. Seriously. Do not listen to the idiots who tell you that you cannot do something.

There’s a saying that says that people who kill their own dreams will find killing yours quite thrilling.

I’d like to add, people who like to dream and not “DO” will also get very nervous and in fact, disturbed when you look like you’re working on your dreams the way a person does…one element at a time. One minute at a time. One day at a time. TENACIOUSLY.

Be your own overnight success story even it takes you every day of your life. Because the life you get out of living the dream is far more exciting than living life with idiots who don’t believe in you.

Further, never be your own idiot. Be misunderstood. Be hated. But never suffocate your own heart.

You might consider suffocating an idiot…but suffocate them with your success. Trust me, it is delicious served hot, cold AND with beer.


J is for Jesus



One of my first signs that I sold I painted on a piece of wood floating by my boat.

At the time, it was hard to see where I was going with the quitting the job, getting left on the boat, having the X’s dad try to run me off in increasingly odd ways…there it was. This piece of wood.

I painted on it the most truth I knew there on the boat.

Everyday I’d come home..pray the Jeep would make it…pray the dinghy was there…pray the dinghy would get to the boat…pray the pugs were alive…pray the X’s dad wouldn’t waiting there to yell at me…and when these things happened, I’d stand on the bow of the boat with FiFi the Evil Pug in my arms and we’d watch the sunset together. Even reflected in her demon eyes, God’s love…the high power…the grace we love and live on…remained strong and clear.

I am thankful. I can’t figure out now why this sign sold, but it got me to work and through one more day.

I always have one in my setup 4 years later. Always a reminder that the “tides always change.” And to look always for beauty. Feel always, grace.


K is for Keel



Back in 2005 or so, I had an argument with Alan, the tiki carver over one of our boats.

We’d been hit by a rogue wave that tossed our small camper boat up and drove the fixed fin keel into the sand…compromising the hull significantly.

For days after we argued…was it leaking or sinking.

I believed at something like 60 gallons an hour, it was sinking.

Alan, more experienced and having a sea salted optimism …felt it was leaking.

Like so many fights and disagreements in life…we were both right.


L is for Lush



I’m a girl with Prince Charming…well Prince Tool Belt dreams, but L is for Lush. Which is a sloppy, happy love.

I have an annual Valentine’s Day set up at shows. “Lush-us Love Signs.”“Still love you after all these beers..” and other classics.

The double heart sign there was an idea of one of my Xs. It didn’t sell well. It did make people laugh.

A lot like our relationship.


M is for Mom



Mom has always, always been my ultimate MUSE. Back when I wrote more, when I hit a brick wall, she was there brick by brick getting me out. All the times I couldn’t “go on,” she’d point out the light at the end of the tunnel…the new doors open…an odd way of looking at things. Because of her, I have years of things to paint.

The year my father died…she began helping me get ready for shows. I am proud and not surprised at this point, she has her own painting style and she loves the shows. She loves talking to people.

And all the odd decisions I’ve made, she’s been with me. And I love her.


N is for NEVER



Never Ever Give Up.

Please.

Your friendly, semi-local, dreadheaded Florida folk artist asks you tobe relentless. Be tenacious. Don’t be perfect. Be persistent.


O is for Oars



Never leave home without them.

What I learned from my boat time with Alan the chainsaw carver tiki artist was this:

Have backups for your backups and backups for those backups and then 4 more backups.

Engine quit? Paddle. Not working? Tie a rope to a battery, throw it and pull yourself to shore. No battery? Whatcha got? No rope...how can you pole? Nothing..how can you manage your drift?

This simple math of NEXT finally helped me understand my own possibilities and depth of ability. And YOURS.

You can panic…or you can manage an adventure. Your choice.



P is for Paradise


http://www.rhondakwrites.co

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Every religion has one. They may have different names and layouts.

But know this, as humans we’re hardwired for paradise. Earning it, finding it, keeping it, losing it, deserving it…CREATING it.

I don’t sell “5 o’clock somewhere” signs in bulk. Maybe 1-2 to have a goodlooking set up. But I understand the paradise in that. The escape. The “US.”

We have to create our paradises..and populate them with our version of the good life which I find more and more, doesn’t take a lot of money. Just a lot heart…open heart.

Open eyes. Grateful, open heart. Standing under a palm tree…I feel God’s love with me.

Q is for Quiet.


Don’t let it scare you. Listen.

R is for RhondaK


RhondaK…rhon-daq. NO.

Rhonda K. Rhonda Kay.

My mom almost named me Rhonda Ray for my dad.

When my mom gets mad at me she says Rhonda Kay. So when I began writing and performing my poetry, doing shows and publishing my writing I already felt her yelling at me.

Rather let it hold me back, I made it my “working” name.

S for Sadie the Salespug


S for Sadie the Sales pug


Sadie is my 4th used pug. I try to adopt pugs that people don’t want anymore. I always contribute to dog fundraisers and pug rescues.

The signs I paint of Sadie keeps her vet bills paid…but many also make money for other pugs and dogs that need to find their person.

If you ever need something for a pet rescue or pug event, just ask.

T is for Tenacious


Don’t Stop Believin’.

U is for Unique


Recently I found this business in Sanibel copying one of my sayings I copyrighted.

Whatever you do, even if it is collecting rocks….do it because it moves you…it is about you…it makes you more than you would have been without it…and somewhere out there without a paddle…you still knew how to get to shore.

V is Vengeance


No matter how you look at it…success is the best version.

Trust me.

No. Don’t do that.

Do well.

You’ll thank me.

It is delicious.

X is for Xs


I have something like a million.

I love them.

Everyday.

Because I am happy without them even when I am sad.

And love…bad, good, failed, dramatic…oh, yes, it is worth the whole role of dice. The whole wind in the hair, wine in hand, leaping into the moonlit air moment.

Yes.

Y is for Yes.


Yes.

Just don’t say it.

Do it.

Live it.

Regret it.

Do it anyway.

Z is for ….ZAG


In a word of ZIGS….Find your ZAG.

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