Right beside meDiane Stark

“Now, Mommy, today when we are on my field trip, I

want you to stay right beside me,” instructed my five-year-old daughter Julia.

I nodded dutifully. “I won’t leave your side,” I promised.

When we arrived at the apple orchard, Julia clung to my hand—for about four minutes. Then she spotted a black and white puppy and dashed off with her classmates to pet him. Moments later, she looked up with a startled “Where’s-my-Mommy” expression on her face. She darted back to me and said, “I told you to stay right by me. But when I looked up, you were gone.”

I tried to explain that she was the one who had run after the dog, but she wouldn’t hear of it. “Stay right beside me,” she insisted. Again, I promised to do so.

But then the boys in her class began kicking the apples that had

fallen from the trees, and Julia just had to find her teacher to tattle on them, complete with a wrinkled nose and pointy finger. The other little girls invited Julia to take a turn on the tire swing, and then she had to dash off to look at a worm which had gotten stuck half-in and half-out of a green apple. And then her little friend had to go potty and you know that little girls can never use the bathroom in singles.

Between each of these adven-tures, Julia would seek me out and shame me for not remaining by her side. “Where did you go, Mommy? Why did you leave me? I turned around and you weren’t close by. Why do you keep leaving me?”

And while I’m not proud of it, Julia’s questions reminded me

of those I often ask the Lord. When I get too busy with my Mommy

The good news is that God is always waiting for me to come back.

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adventures, and then I realize one day how very far away the Lord seems, I ask, “Why did you leave me?” And when I decide to take the reins of my life out of God’s hands and something goes very wrong, I call out, “Where did you go? I need you right beside me!”

And I have to remind myself that God promises never to leave us or forsake us. When I don’t feel God by my side, I have to remember that God isn’t the one who walked away. I was. The good news is that God is always waiting for me to come back. No matter how many puppies I chase or rotten apples I kick, God is right where I left him, waiting for me to return with forgiveness and open arms.

“Forty years wandering in a desert? Talk

about layovers!”

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