The heart of the home

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The rights and responsibilities of the wife

Islam places great responsibilities on men

and women to complete half of their Deen

with marriage.

Most Muslims know this but don’t know

what the rights and responsibilities are of

each spouse.

The wife is the heart of the home and has

many rights and responsibilities to her

family

As a wife, what are my

duties and

responsibilities?

Duties of the wife

The wife’s duties towards her husband may be greater than the husband’s duties towards his wife, as Allah says:

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them” [Al-Baqarah 2:228]

Duties of the wife

1. Obedience

The wife should be obedient to her husband at all

times as he is her protector and maintainer, and

supports her financially

Women should not see this as a chore, but rather a

means of gaining reward, as the Prophet (SAW) said:

“Have I not told you about your women in Jannah?

The loving fertile one; if she gets angry, was

mistreated, or her husband was angry, she said:

‘here is my hand in yours, I will not sleep until you are

pleased with me’” (Assaheehah 287)

Keep in mind – there is no obedience for the husband

in disobedience of Allah

duties of the wife

2. A halal relationship with her husband

The wife should make herself available to her husband, after marriage has taken place and he has given the mahr

She should not withhold this right from her husband without a valid excuse, e.g. Sickness, obligatory fasting etc

If she refuses without a valid reason then she has committed a major sin

This is because one of the wisdoms of marriage is to prevent zina/loose morals by allowing this relationship

duties of the wife

3. Not admitting anyone husband dislikes

She should take care to not permit anyone whom her husband dislikes into the marital home

The Prophet (SAW) said:

Fear Allaah concerning women!...You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bedding [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like...Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner.” [Muslim]

duties of the wife

4. Ask her husband permission before leaving the home

She should take care to seek permission from her husband before going out of the home that he has provided her

Women are seen as the guardians of their marital home and their husband’s wealth as the Prophet (SAW) said:

“The woman is the guardian of her husband’s house and is responsible for it.” (Bukhari)

duties of the wife

5. Serving her husband

She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable

This includes:

Respecting her husband as the ameer and main decision-maker of the home

Maintaining his honour – not speaking ill of him to others

Keeping his secrets and not divulging them

duties of the wife

5. Serving her husband

Treating him in a good manner with love

and kindness

Mu’ath Ibn Jabal elevated: “If a woman

harms her husband in this life; the

maidens will say, do not harm him, may

Allah harm you; he is only a guest with

you, and soon he will leave your

company” (Assaheehah 173)

duties of the wife

5. Serving her husband

Beautifying herself for her husband –

though the same is also expected of the

husband!

Ibn Abbaas (RA) said: ‘I love to beautify

myself for my wife, as I love her to

beautify herself for me.’

To not deny him the right to children

As a wife, what are my

rights from my

husband?

rights of the wife

1. Mahr

This is her right ordained by Allah:

“And give the women [upon marriage]

their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they

give up willingly to you anything of it,

then take it in satisfaction and

ease.” [Quran 4: 4]

It is a token of honour and respect for

the woman

rights of the wife

2. Allowance and Accommodation

The wife has a right to an allowance from her husband, even if she is wealthy

The Prophet (SAW) said in his khutbah during the Farewell Pilgrimage: “Their (women’s) rights over you are that you should provide for them and clothe them in a reasonable manner.”

It is obligatory for the husband to spend on his wife and provide her with all of her basic needs, including food, clothing, essentials, shelter

“Lodge them (the women)where you dwell, according to your means” [At-Talaaq 65:6]

Allah has created man

different from woman.

Men are more practical

whereas women are more

emotional and need

reassurance.

rights of the wife

3. Love, kindness and respect

The husband must be kind to his wife and offer her

everything that may make her pleased with him:

“And live with them honourably” [Al Nisa 4:19]

Prophet (SAW) said: “Be kind to women” (Bukhari)

The husband should be patient with his wife, even if

she upsets you, in the case of Umar (RA)

Husband should understand the nature of a wife is

first and foremost a woman as Allah created her:

Prophet (SAW) said: “Be gentle in dealing the glass

bottles”

rights of the wife

4. Acquiring knowledge

The husband has a duty to teach his wife her

religious affairs including establishing prayers.

The Prophet (pbuh) said:

"All of you are shepherds and all of you will be asked

about your wards. The ruler is a shepherd and shall

be asked about his wards. The man is a shepherd of

his family and will be asked about his ward."

(Bukhari)

Analogy: If you love your wives and want to protect

them from the heat of the sun by closing the window,

would you not then want to protect them from the

heat of the hellfire?

Conclusion

The wife has many rights over her

husband but she has more responsibilities

The most important of her responsibilities

is her obedience and willingness to serve

her husband

She has more rights with regards to being

treated well and being handled with care

When a husband is pleased with his wife

and gets his due rights from her, her

reward is great inshAllah

Don’t forget part two

the rights and responsibilities of

the husband

Tomorrow 7 pm (GMT)

Register now! www.purematrimony.com/webinar

Brothers, do you know specifically

what your rights are to your wife?

Sisters, do you know what rights

your husband has over YOU?

Find out in the second part of this special series

Our next webinar!

Marital breakdown: its causes and

its cures

With Sheikh Assim Alhakeem Thursday 28th March 2013 at 6 pm (GMT) Register via Facebook today!

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