Lisa Rogers ePortfolio Narrative Reflection 1

I entered this program thinking that I would learn a lot, but I learned more than that. Over the past two years, I have been exposed to new ideas, concepts, and theories that have stretched my thinking and my imagination beyond where I thought it could go. I have been challenged to apply what I am learning to real life experiences in my assistantship and beyond, or as we like to say: apply theory to practice. As I reflect on my time in this program, it is evident that this experience has prepared me for a professional career in higher education. I am excited to start applying my education to my first professional position. Reflection on Content The most important and relevant content I have learned in this program are from my Critical Social Theory and Organization and Governance classes. I have a tendency to believe what I read and take it at face value. This had been a major flaw of mine throughout my undergraduate studies, but coming into this program and being in Critical Social Theory (as well as Leadership in Higher Education) helped to pull me out of that. In Critical Social Theory we spent time deconstructing theories and arguments for why the world is the way it is. This experience helped me be more critical of even the most reputable sources. This class was also particularly challenging for me because of my identity. I appreciated learning about how we must lift the veil on peoples stories; how we must be critical of stories we are told and how we need to provide space for those who do not have opportunities to share their voice. I realize now that the reason I have historically trusted what I read is because most often the stories are reflecting my experiences because of my identity (to be explored later in this reflection). This course challenged me in very personal ways.

Lisa Rogers ePortfolio Narrative Reflection 2

The second most important class has been one that I am wrapping up right now: Organization and Governance. I appreciated this class for opposite reasons. Because an adjunct professor taught our class, we were exposed to the true nature of organizations from someone who is in it. Because of this class, I have a better understanding of organizational theory and why institutions operate the way they do. As a result, I am able to identify the institutional structures I am presented with and what strategies might be most applicable to making change. Additionally, this class afforded me the opportunity to interview a current upper-level administrator and to learn about budgets. The practical nature of this course is what I appreciated the most. I feel better equipped to enter a new institution with the skills and knowledge necessary to navigate it. This class gave me the skills to handle organizational issues, where Critical Social Theory gave me ability to analyze and deconstruct those issues. Overall, I am immensely appreciative for all of the content I have learned throughout this program. Reflection on Assistantship and Internship Work In addition to the educational experiences I had in the classroom, I also learned a great deal from outside work experiences. The most meaningful experience was my graduate assistantship as an Assistant Resident Director in the Department of Residence at Loyola. This position allowed me to learn and grow in incredible ways. Like many others, I pursued a career in Student Affairs because I enjoyed my experiences as a Resident Advisor during my undergraduate studies. Looking back, I thought I knew a lot then, but I did not. Since joining the Department of Residence Life, I have been exposed to the inner-workings of offices and departments at universities, most notably I have observed the political nature of decision making. This probably sounds negative, but I promise it is not. As I learned in

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my Organization and Governance class mentioned above, political organizations are based on relationships and leveraging those relationships for decision making. Through my work on departmental initiatives, including training and selection, I have realized why change is slow to occur. Through applying coursework and observations, I can see that power through leadership makes a difference. I have learned how to appeal to those with more power in order to initiate change, even if it is simply a change in mindset. My internship with AccessibleNU at Northwestern University taught me about the influence we can have as student affairs professionals. During an informal conversation with a student, I talked about my partner and the student asked me why I chose to use the word partner to describe my male significant other. I told him why and he proceeded to tell me that he identified as bisexual and how he had not told many people to that point. In this moment I realized that we have influence over a students experience and sense of safety simply by changing the language we use. This was one of the most powerful experiences I had during this program. Reflection on Social Justice

Prior to coming into this program I had a decent amount of exposure to topics of social justice, particularly in talking about my own White identity. My time in this program has continued my social justice education. I think the most important things I have learned about social justice is that it is important to be aware of group dynamics, and that it is okay to mess up as long as you learn from it. One of the most profound social justice experiences I had during these two years was with a close colleague of mine who held me accountable for not being a better ally. While we are the shuttle downtown, he experienced a microaggression by someone we did not know. In the moment I was uncomfortable, but

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could not identify why I felt that way. I did not do anything to contribute to the microaggression, but I did not do anything to stop it either. A couple days later, my friend approached me with such care and understanding. He explained to me how he felt and what I could do to be a better ally next time. I will never forget this experience and I have certainly learned from my mistake. Another critical experience that shaped my understanding of social justice was becoming aware of a racial divide that was occurring amongst the group of Assistant Resident Directors. I brought up the tension in the space and though the conversation was uncomfortable, everyone proceeded to get along as they had been, but were more aware that others in the department were noticing a divide. These experiences shaped how I engage in topics of social justice; as I enter into professional work, I am aware of how to interrupt identity-based stratification and will provide opportunities for individuals and staffs to reflect on their own privileged and oppressed identities. I will continue to challenge myself when I make mistakes related to social justice and will confront others with care when they make mistakes as well. I am excited to continue educating students and colleagues about the importance and relevance of social justice topics. Reflection on Personal Growth I came into this program in a very rough place personally. The personal struggles I dealt with affected how I engaged with others in the program and how I saw myself. Though I made friends quickly, I found it difficult to make connections at a deeper level. I found myself oversharing information and getting overly emotional when the situation did not call for it. Through the supervision and friendships I have formed in this program, I rediscovered who I am. The immense amount of reflection encouraged in this program,

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allowed me to redefine myself as an individual. My two years at Loyola has given me plenty of time to reflect on my life goals and desires and I am ever so grateful for the opportunity for the safe space to explore my thoughts and feelings. In a more practical sense, I have grown immensely in my abilities and skills over the course of the last two years. At the beginning of the program, I was very timid; I did not want to speak up and share my voice. I jumped into my position as an Assistant Resident Director right away, but it took me a while to figure out how I could be myself and do the job. As my confidence grew, so did my ability to participate in meetings regularly or initiate tasks of my own creation. As the two years progressed more and more of my personality came out and I was able to build more genuine connections with my colleagues and classmates. Throughout my multiple experiences, I have learned so much. This program has helped me develop confidence in my ability to be in this profession. Conclusion Overall, I am extremely grateful for the personal, professional, and academic opportunities this program has given me. My biggest takeaway from my two-year experience is that it is important to be critically reflective of our actions, because without reflection, our actions have little meaning to us and to others. As I look forward to my next venture, I am excited to apply what I have learned here and will remember fondly the experiences and people that made it possible for me to succeed.