6h March 2019

Club Social Event

15 Lunar Court Benowa.

Sunday, 17th March. 4:00pm for 4:30pm

Irish themed Music, Food and Decorations.

Relax and enjoy fellowship. BYO drinks. $15 per person.

Bottle of Baileys for best Irish Joke.

Advise Marcia ASAP if you intend coming.

ROTARYCLUBOFASHMORE-DISTRICT9640-CHARTERED9MAY1990

ASHMOREINACTION

Next Meeting Next Wednesday 13th March will be our final meeting at the Ashmore Community Hub for a few months. Our guest speaker is Darryl Murtagh and he will talk on” How Youth is making the difference to the world one by one”. The renovations to The Hub will then commence and we are unsure how long this will take, so have decided to hold each meeting at the Ashmore Road Steak and Seafood until the end of June.

Future Meetings Date Team Location Guest Speaker Topic/Interest Mar 13 Blue The Hub Darryl Murtagh Youth making the difference Mar 20 Green AS&S Kim Storen KIVA report Mar 27 Gold AS&S Pat Fleming What do you want from ARC Apr 3 Red AS&S TBC Apr 10 Blue AS&S TBC Apr 17 Green AS&S Ross Sorbello Wealth Management Apr 24 Gold AS&S Pam Parker Unconscious Bias Against Women

Other Events Mar 10 Inbound Philippines RF welcome (see flyer) Mar 17 Club Social Event (see cover page) Mar 18 Board Meeting Mar 19 Probus Assoc visit to Murwillumbah horse races Mar 21 Movie Night Fundraiser (see flyer) Mar 29-31 2019 District Conference held in Lismore, at Lismore Workers Club Apr 6 The Rotaract Club of Burleigh Heads Bingo Night Apr 13 Rotary Ball (see flyer) Jun 14 Rotary Club of Ballina 70th anniversary and changeover dinner

Members Welfare The position of club welfare officer is currently vacant; if you feel you can commit to this important position within the club please contact President Pat ASAP

Attendance Can’t make the meeting? Contact Robyn: 0439 794 092 or randgschatz@gmail.com Cant

Birthdays & Anniversaries March 11 Rock O’Keefe Member Birthday March 12 Catherine Bonifant Partner Birthday March 16 Kay Nicol Wedding Anniversary March 18 Rob Deshon Partner Birthday March 23 David Grant Club Anniversary March 23 Ian Wilson Partner Birthday March 27 Sue Lea Club Wedding Anniversary March 28 Peter Gilmore Member Birthday March 28 Ian Wilson Wedding Anniversary March 31 Michael Hyland Wedding Anniversary

Stamps to Ian cans & bottles to Barbara (no tops on bottles & don’t crush cans please).

Six great confusions still unresolved.

1. At a movie theatre, which armrest is yours? 2. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around? 3. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator? 4. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?

One fine day in ancient Rome, Julius Caesar turned his attention to a problem plaguing his mighty empire: laundry. Getting all those white togas clean was a constant pain. He also had some weird ideas that if he could get the togas stiff enough, they would be like a light coat of armour... not enough to last through a sustained battle, but enough to ward off an assassin's arrow. He figured the easiest way to get this done on a large scale would be to dump a bunch of detergent into a tidal pool, and dump the togas in afterwards. (This was two thousand years ago... the environmental movement was restricted to a few druids here and there). The gentle motion of the tides would wash the dirt out. Afterwards, all that would have to be done would be to throw some starch in, and then pull the togas out to dry. He assigned this task to some of his scientists and engineers. They started executing his plan, and all was going well until they threw in the starch. The goddesses of nature, angered at the environmental destruction, caused a huge tidal wave to spring up and wash over the assembled workers. A stiff breeze afterwards dried them off so quickly they were all frozen into place. After a little while, Caesar began to wonder about the progress of the enterprise, so he decided to visit the site with some of his advisors. Arriving at the tidal pool, he was unable to make heads or tails of the sight of his workers stuck standing there. Until of course, one of his advisors whispered to him: "Beware, the tides of starch."

IT'S BINGO TIME!!!

The Rotaract Club of Burleigh Heads is running a Bingo Night on the 6th of April to raise funds for Destiny Rescue. The event will be located at Miami State High School in the Great Hall. We will have 2 sessions, a more competitive session at 2pm and a family friendly one at 7pm. On the day there will be a bar and food including a BBQ dinner before the second session available to purchase on the day. Tickets:Adults$20SeniorsDiscount$15

OnlyinThisStupidWorld

.....dotheyhavedrive-upATMmachineswithBraillelettering.

If you have already registered for the District 9640 Conference, in Lismore, on the 29 - 31 March 2019, thank you.

If you were going to attend the Conference, but have not yet registered it would assist the organising committee if your registration were completed as soon as possible.

If you are still deciding whether to attend, we can offer many reasons to do so.

Sunday the 31st March 2019, will be two years to the day since Lismore and Murwillumbah was devastated by flood. The city has recovered, but it has been a difficult time for many businesses. The Conference venue, the Lismore and District Workers Club was badly affected and has had

major renovations. The cost to delegates has been kept to a minimum, and it represents great value.

Lismore has plenty of accommodation available close to the venue.

We have an outstanding line-up of keynote speakers, travelling from as far away as Guatemala, Fiji, and Alice Springs. No speaker has requested or is being paid an honorarium.

Carol and I look forward to welcoming all District 9640 Rotarians to the Conference.

Whydon'tyoueverseethe headline'PsychicWinsLottery'?

Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?

Did you know that if you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them

Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?

THURSDAY 21ST MARCH 7.00 PM THEATRE NIGHT – SPOTLIGHT THEATRE Tickets: $30 Available from https://www.trybooking.com/BADBK

Days for Girls Gold Coast Fundraiser

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It's Saturday Night at the "Club A-Go-Go".

Three blokes and four birds are out on

the pull. The girls, chalk-faced, pale

lipped and lacquered to

perfection are desperate to look

like Twiggy or Dusty Springfield. The lads in their button-down collars and leather caps are all would-

be Beatles.

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More info: check out the Events on Days for Girls Gold Coast

Facebook Page

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Or Contact kathy@financialplus.

com.au

Rotary International Officers 2018 — 2019 President Rotary International. Barry Rassin – Rotary Club of East Nassau District 9640 Governor.......................Terry Brown - Rotary Club of Lismore Rotary Ashmore Officers 2018 — 2019 President ...........................................................................Pat Fleming Vice President ……………………………………….………Norm Coventry President Elect……………………………………….………Norm Coventry Secretary ..........................................................................Jan Heap Treasurer ...........................................................................John Stanfield Service Directors Club Administration .........................................................Denise Payne Rotary Foundation ...........................................................Ian McPherson Club Service.......................................................................Barbara Healy International Service.........................................................Rock O’Keefe Rock O’Keefe Membership ......................................................................... Communications Public Relations ............................................................. Karen Wibberley Newsletter Editor ............................................................Norm Coventry Attendance ....................................................................Robyn Schatz Welfare Officer………………………………………….….Vacant Postal Address……………………………….…Rotary Club of Ashmore Inc. PO Box 450, Ashmore City, Ashmore QLD 4214 Ashmore Rotary Contact Phone No…………………...0449 280 666 Facebook www.facebook.com/ashmorerotary Web page http://www.rotary-ashmore.com/ Email info@ashmorerotary.com