running commentary

7/29/2019 Running Commentary

1/24

Running Commentary

Tanner King

Cameron is walking to Zoey's. He turns left into a dark alley, looking around shiftily. It's not a

bad neighborhood at all, but it's nearing dark and Cameron's mind can play tricks on him sometimes.

I'm not worried, but I figure it wouldn't be a bad idea to keep an eye out. Cameron is ery

important for me.

Cameron, there's a guy up there on the right. !s always, Cameron doesn't really hear me, but he

looks to his right so I must be getting through to him on some small leel. His ga"e lands on a man

leaning against the brick wall. #ust a guy on a smoke break.

Cameron walks past him and e$its the alley. He takes a right and moes down the sidewalk.

The aroma of Zoey's %i""eria wafts through the row of windows on his right. Cameron breathes it in

deeply. &gh. I hate how much Cameron loes this restaurant. It's disgusting. ery time he opens the

door into that little room, I dread what I know awaits me for the ne$t hour. (ooks like Cameron's

friends aren't here yet, though. )ood.

*alking past the restaurant and across the cross+walk, he strolls up to a park he enoys spending

time in. ery once in a while he'll come here and ust sit under a tree or on a bench. Tonight it's the

bench. He'll sit here and space out, listen to music, or do school work if he's feeling up to it or it's the

last minute. He's in high+school, one month away from graduation.

-Cameron/

0ammit.

Cameron turns around to see his friend waing at him, beckoning him back to Zoey's. The two

others are already going in.

Cameron's feet moe back oer the cross+walk. He gies his friend, !le$, an awkward teenage

high fie and a -1up./ %utting his hand back in the pocket of his hoodie, he pushes opens the door. The

odor comes spilling out, washing oer all of us. Cameron breathes two lung fulls in and out. Here we


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go again.

222

-Here's your pi""a, let me know if you need anything/ 1hit. 1team slowly rises from the large

cheese pi""a between the four kids. Cameron is sitting on the inside of the booth. To his left is !le$.

They're in band together at school, both trombone players. !cross from !le$ is Ted. Cameron and Ted

aren't really friends, but Ted is a friend of !le$ so they hang out by e$tension pretty often. *e'e been

seeing him 3uite a bit lately. 4n Ted's left is Cecily, Ted's new girlfriend of two weeks. The two won't

leae each other's side for a second, so we'e been seeing her a lot lately, too. ! little too much of the

two together for my tastes.

-1o yeah, what you truly learn about true loe after the first week of being together is that blah

blah blah blah,/ Ted goes on. Cecily steadily nods along with coniction, neer breaking eye contact

with him.

Man, this guy really seems to have relationships figured out.

Cameron is still ery naie. He hasn't hit the real world yet.

Mmm!

He pushes a piece of pi""a into his mouth. 4h no. 5o. 5o.

-1o, what do think about that, Cameron6/ Ted says. Cameron is still chewing pi""a.

What did he say?

He asked what you thought about the saying -loe is blind./

Wait, I think he was talking about the saying love is blind.

Cameron swallows his mouth full of pi""a and clears his throat. -*ell, if you ask me, that

saying is about, like, how it takes loe foreer to find you because it's like a blind person, you know6

7ou ust hae to wait until it comes to you./

Ted and Cecily ust stare at him. I'd cringe if I could. Cameron takes no notice of them. He's


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cramming more pi""a into his mouth.

I'e been with Cameron for a long time, and he's not as stupid as he might seem. If he knew

what was regularly going through Ted and Cecily's heads he probably wouldn't be so eager to try and

impress them. 8ut that's high+school kids in a nutshell, I guess.

!le$ can't take the cheesy dialogue any more. -Hey, do you guys know what day it is6/

Cameron and Cecily shake their heads no.

Ted's eyes widen. -4h, four twenty/ He says loudly. -%ot smoking day/

&h oh.

-1h 0on't be so loud/ !le$ urges Ted. He then grins deilishly. -8ut yeah... 9our twenty.

:y brother gae me some of his... stuff. 0o you guys wanna try some6/

-7eah/ Ted e$claims enthusiastically. He then switches dynamic to a cool tone. -I mean... I

do it all the time./ 1ure you do. -8ut I'll help you guys out./

Cecily isn't saying anything. Ted asks, -Cecily, are you in6/ Cecily looks back at him, a little

nerous, but replies, -7eah, let's do it/

-*hat about you, Cameron6/ Ted asks.

I have always been urious. It ould be fun.

*ell, this is happening.

-&h, sure, I'll do it with you guys./ Cameron says.

-!lright, awesome *e're gonna get,/ Ted whispers the ne$t part, -HI)H, you guys/

-7eah, yeah, keep 3uiet, Ted./ !le$ says. -0oes anyone know where we should do it6/

My parents are out of the house tonight.

-:y parents are out of the house tonight. *e could do it there,/ Cameron says. -*e'll ust... do

it in the garage, and it'll air out before my parents get home./ That's probably not gonna work.

-:aybe we can crack the garage door open a little bit. That'll help/

-1ounds solid./ !le$ approes. -(et's head there when we're done./


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-Cool./ Cameron says. He's feeling a bit nerous, but e$cited too. He bites into more pi""a.

222

!le$ finishes chugging the can of soda. -!lright, this'll do./ He pokes holes into the side of the

can with a fork. I don't think smoking anything out of an aluminum can sounds like a good idea, but

none of the kids hae anything to smoke out of so I guess they hae no problem with this. !le$ pushes

in the part of the can with the holes in it, making an indentation. He then pulls out the bag of plant

matter and begins placing it in the bowl.

-7ou guys hae no idea what you're in for./ Ted says. -It's so cra"y. 4ne time I was so high

that eeryone turned into dolphins/ !le$ chuckles at Ted a little bit but doesn't call him out. -8ut if

anyone freaks out, I'll help you out. I know what I'm doing here, I'll tell you that much/

Cameron is sitting down on a plastic lawn chair, waiting for his turn. !le$ is sitting on the stairs

by the door, and Tedcily is crammed into a chair across from him.

-!lright, it's all packed,/ !le$ announces. He takes his hit, holds it for a few seconds, and

e$hales. -Here you go,/ he says, passing it to Ted.

-Thanks,/ Ted says, taking the can from !le$. -:an, hopefully this is good enough to get me

stoned. The weeds I normally smoke are so good/ !le$ ust shakes his head. Ted takes his hit,

e$hales, and coughs out a lung. -!ck/ His face tightens and reddens as he tries to suppress his

coughing. He looks at Cameron with his big bulging eyes. -0o you... !ck 0o you hae any++ !ck

*ater6/ Cameron reaches oer to the bo$ of bottled water by the door and grabs one for Ted.

-Here you go./ Cameron says, holding out the water for Ted. Ted is no longer there, though.

He's staring at the ground, still as a statue. -Ted6/

Ted blinks a few times in 3uick succession as he snaps back to reality. -*hoa, sorry./ He grabs

the bottle, his face locked in an e$pression of bewilderment. !fter fumbling with the cap, he manages

to get it off and drinks three 3uarters of the bottle at once. He lets out a big breath as he takes the bottle


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away from his face.

Cecily takes the can from Ted, who goes back to staring at the ground, sitting rigidly still. 1he

lights a little bit, takes in a little puff, and blows it out.

1he hands Cameron the can.

ere we go.

Here we go.

Cameron breathes in what feels like ten pounds of smoke, suppressing the screaming urge

inside him to cough as the smoke scorches its way down his wind pipe. Holy Hell, that burns. He

holds it for a couple seconds and breathes out a massie cloud. 9ighting back the coughing fits, he

grabs a water for himself and takes a few big gulps.

;*hoa, way to take that hit like a champ.; !le$ says, leaning back in his chair a little.

I'm starting to feel kind of funny. ! little more... fle$ible6 Is that the right word6 (oose6 9ree6

Why don"t I feel anything? Isn"t it supposed to hit you right away?

-4h man, guys, I'm so high/ Cameron says, pretending to giggle stupidly. !le$ chuckles, as

does Cecily. Ted hasn't returned yet.

!le$ blows out his second hit. Then does Cecily, who attempts to pass it to Ted ne$t. He

slowly raises his hand, flatly saying -5o thanks, I think I'm good./ 1he gies it to Cameron. Cameron

takes his hit and breathes out another massie cloud of smoke.

#till don"t feel anything.

He passes it to !le$. !le$ and Cecily are hysterically laughing at Ted, who is now nerously

laughing along with them. Ted's eyes suddenly diert from Cecily's back to the ground as he reali"es

something seemingly important. !le$ laughs harder, and Cecily laughs a little less hard.

The can makes its way back to Cameron. I'e started to feel the sensation I felt earlier a bit

more strongly. *hat is that6 I feel like I'e been stuck in one spot without reali"ing it, and now I can

moe around a bit. Cameron takes his ne$t hit.


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I feel a little tired, I guess.

Cameron makes sure to point out that Ted is under the influence of cannabis like !le$ and

Cecily hae been doing. -Haha, Ted is so stoned/ Cecily gies Ted a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Ted doesn't react, but she doesn't notice. He looks up at her for a second with a slight look of

discomfort.

The can makes its way back around to Cameron again. Cameron is starting to feel a little funny.

:ore weird stuff is starting to happen to me. I feel een -looser/ than I did before. I can feel myself

stretching -outward./

I definitely feel a little different, but... is this it?

Ted finally says something. -*hat do you guys think college is gonna be like6/ !le$ and

Cecily stop laughing and respond with silence. Ted looks at the three of them, waiting for an answer.

I have no idea.

-%robably won't be anything too new./ Cameron says. -I figure it won't be that different from

high+school. :aybe the people will act a little differently./

-:an, who knows6/ !le$ says, looking at the floor. :ore silence. Cameron takes his hit.

The newly incoming THChits me after a few seconds. It's a hurricanein here. Things I

didn't een know werepossibleare happening. I'm stretching outand inand being swept around in

some kind of -c u rr ent. /

...*hoa...

$his isn"t nearly what it was hyped up to be.

Howcan younotfeelthis6

I"m getting a soda.

Thecurrent pushes me up against some kind of... wall6 It's more like a... membrane. !s I get


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pushed into it harder, I start to permeate it. er so slowly, I melt through. I hae no idea what's

happening to me.

Cameron looks around and sees a bo$ of soda in the corner. !fter he stands up to get it, it hits

him all at once. His facial e$pression deadens. His focus turns inward. The lens through which he

looks at the world has been changed. ! new world inside of himself unfolds. 4ne that was always

there but he somehow neer noticed. !nd it's hilarious.

-H!H!H! 0&0/ He proclaims. Cecily and !le$ crack up. en Ted laughs a little.

!s I am pushed through the wall, a deep, wobbly sound is emitting from somewhere.

erything feels as if it's s h a k i n g and igglingin synchronicity with it. Cameron still doesn't seem

to feel this, though.

What"s that sound? %h man, this is ra&y!

He hears it...

Cameron, !le$ and Cecily continue laughing. *aing his hands, Cameron breaks through the

laughter. -)uys, guys, I hear like a sound in my head./

!le$ looks a little confused. -*hat6 5o way. *hat's it sound like6/

-0ubstep./ Cameron bursts out laughing as he hears himself say that.

!le$ looks confused, then replies, -That's cra"y, man 7our tolerance must be super low./

I continue moing through the wall. I feel... closer to Cameron.

It's getting louder/ Cameron says. -!nd I think I can kind of... hear something else, too. It's

really weird, though. I don't e$actly 'hear' it. It's more like... words being put in my head. I can't

really tell what they are, though./ !le$ keeps looking confused.

I'm almost through. I can feel the other side.

-The other side of what6/ Cameron says, looking up from his lap...

-Huh6 5o one said anything./ !le$ tells him. Cecily sputters into a laugh. Ted stares at the


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floor.

-4h./ Cameron looks back down.

What is that? Where are those words oming from?

-I need to get up for a sec./ Cameron says. He 3uickly moes past eeryone and goes inside.

He walks to the bathroom. He's ery tense all of a sudden. He feels his heart beating harder and faster.

$his is getting really ra&y...

Cameron looks in the bathroom mirror. His eyes lock intensely with those of his reflection's.

He starts feeling remoed from himself. The person in the mirror isn't him. !n imposter stares back.

$here it is again! What is that?

I e$it out of the other side.

'''

If someone"s in here, ome out. I heard you earlier. I an feel you.

&h, hi.

:y words startle Cameron, causing him to fall down onto the carpet of the liing room.

222

-I swear, it really happened/ Cameron says. His eyes widen as a deep panic sinks into his

chest. -It's back It ust started again/ His oice reerberates through the garage.

I... can't beliee this. 7ou hear me now6

-That doesn't happen with weed, dude./ !le$ says. -It wasn't laced. *e'e all been smoking

the same stuff. 5o one else is haing this happen to them./

Who are you?! What are you?!

I'e been here for a long time and you didn't know the difference. 1top panicking. 7ou're going

to be fine.


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-*hat do we do6/ Ted says. Cecily sits in his lap, staring at the floor with wide eyes.

-Cameron, you're probably ust haing a panic attack./ !le$ says. -It happens to some people.

7ou ust need to calm down, eerything will be fine./

-I'e had panic attacks. This is no panic attack/ Cameron retorts. -1omething really bad is

happening. I don't like this at all./ He borders on hyperentilating as he paces back and forth.

#top doing that! I an"t think!

Cameron looks back up. -It's not stopping anymore It ust keeps talking/

I (ust want this to be over.

-How long does this last6/ Cameron asks !le$, stepping closer to him as he trembles.

-It depends, man. ! couple hours at least./ !le$ says, doing his best at keeping cool. -7ou're

gonna make it through this, alright6 (et's ust go inside for a bit. *e'll watch a T< show or

something./

-I, uh, think we're gonna go,/ Ted says, robotically clambering out of his seat with Cecily.

-*e'll... see you guys later, uh.../ The two head towards the partially open garage door. Ted 3uickly

moes ahead of Cecily. Cecily grabs Ted's hand and s3uee"es it tight. Ted's hand stays limp.

-4kay.../ Cameron says, steadily rela$ing his breathing. -(et's go.../

The two walk inside #$%)!

The two walk inside and go to the liing room where the T< is. Cameron sits down on the gray

couch. !le$ pulls something out of his bag. ! 0


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This is the weirdest fucking show I hae eer seen. That dog ust turned into a fire hydrant.

Cameron stiffly sits on the couch. -*hen does this start to wear off6/

-7ou should at least start coming down an hour and a half after you first sm*et out of my head

get out of my head get out of my head *+$ %$ %- M +/0oked./ !le$ says. -#ust chill, man.

1ee if you can enoy the trippy stuff. #ust roll with it./

7eah, ust roll with it.

ou"re the 0+1I2!

=ela$. *atch the show. *hoa, look at their arms *hy do they flop around like noodles6

#top talking! 2eave me alone!

*hy6 Isn't this e$perience at least a little interesting to you6 Come on, I'm like a neighbor in

your head (ike :r. =ogers

I want you out, I want you out, I W/3$ % %$ I W/3$ % %$!

*hat did I do to you6

ou"re 3%$ #))%#+0 $% 4+ I3 +5+! $I# I# M +/0!

*hat makes it yours6 7ou didn't work for it. 7ou got it for free. *hy can't you share it6

8esides, you're the one that wanted to do drugs, not me. *hy are you surprised when weird stuff

happens6

I wasn"t e6peting this! $his isn"t supposed to happen when you smoke pot!

*ell, what were you e$pecting6

I don"t know... I"ve never smoked weed before. I"ve never drank, either.

7eah, I know. 8ut this show is so weird. Is this seriously a kid's show6 This is put into the

minds of children6 If you didn't start hearing oices after doing drugs, I bet you would after watching

enough of this show

/!

-This is driing me cra"y.../ Cameron says. -It won't stop The words ust keep coming It


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won't leae me alone/ Cameron repeatedly clenches and unclenches his fists.

-Cameron, it's okay. 7ou are ust really high right now...; He pauses, and 3uietly trails off

with, ;I think...; He pauses again, then looks up with composure. ;#ust rela$ and wait for it to end./

It's not bad adice, Cameron.

0on"t you say my name! % 0%3"$ 73%W M+!

I'm ust saying, you did take the drug. 7ou're in for the ride no matter what you do. 1o instead

of freaking out, ust try and enoy it while you can.

I"m never smoking pot again.

I'm completely fine with that.

It has nothing to do with you! ou"re not real!

I'm not real6

3o! ou"re in my brain!

Tell me what that has to do with anything.

%"5+ 3%$ 5+/2 %"5+ 3%$ 5+/2 %"5+ 3%$ 5+/2!

(isten, kid. #ust because you're the one in control doesn't make you more real than me. I'm ust

as alie as you.

*+$ %$ %- M +/0!

5o. !le$ stares at the glowing screen, laughing along with the T< show. I think I can actually

smell his brain melting from here. ery once in a while, he looks oer at Cameron and laughs, as if

trying to get him to think it's funny. Cameron is in no mood to laugh at silly cartoons right now.

e"s laughing at me!

He's not laughing at you. He's laughing at this dumb show. 7ou're paranoid.

I"m not paranoid! I"m freaking out and he thinks it"s funny! e did this on purpose! What kind of

a friend are you, /le6?! elp! +2)!

Cameron stands up and gaits towards the back door.


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-*here are you going6/ !le$ asks.

Cameron pushes the door open, making it smack into a table on his deck. His footsteps turn to

hollow thuds as he runs out and aults oer the railing. He lands on all fours, springs up and bolts for

the woods.

-Cameron, wait Come back/ I hear !le$ call out from behind Cameron.

222

4kay. I hae to ask. *here are you going6

I don"t know. #omething"s wrong. #omething"s wrong something"s wrong.

*hat's wrong is that you're going insane.

I will go bak when things are orret.

7ou might make things more incorrect by running around in these woods.

ow do I know?!

How do you know what6

%W 0% I 73%W?

4h god.

*%0?!

*hat6

*%0!!!

I'm ust going to stop talking.

222

Come on ! goernment micro+chip6 )o back home

$hey"re traking me! $hey"ll be on me any seond! ou"re on their side! our +vil will not sway

me from the path that *od has revealed!


13/24

7ou need to go home. 7ou're not handling this well.

*o bak? /nd (oin the souls of the damned? I don"t think so. I (ust need to find a way to get on

a plane. I have to return to Israel.

I know for a fact that you'e neer been to Israel.

ou don"t know anything. 3ot truly.

Cameron pushes his way through the thick brush. It seems to close in on him from eery angle.

Tiny branches reach for his eyes. ! beautiful chorus of cicadas surrounds him. His mind forms words

out of the noise. ! thousand oices singing in a language he has neer heard before, but somehow

understands, fills the forest. The song is about a crusader of ustice who must fight against a regime of

lies to reeal the truth to the world. Cameron stops and listens to it for a moment, taking the glorious

opus in. The hair on his arms stands up as chills wash oer his body. ! single tear drops down his

cheek.

! powerful flashlight from about a hundred yards away shines into the corner of his right eye,

pulling him out of the beauty of the moment.

It"s them! #ee? $hey want to silene my knowledge!

7eah, and look out for the &94s.

-%s? What else do you know?

5eer mind.

I ommand you in the name of the 2ord to tell me everything you know!

I know that you're currently not acting mentally stable. =emember your grandma6 7ou're

starting to sound like her. )o up to whoeer is holding that flashlight and tell them what happened.

7ou'll wish you had later.

ou"ll never fool me. I am on a mission. / mission that must be ompleted.

Cameron sprints away from the flashlight. His hands feel the moss on the tree. The moss is

trying to get his attention.


14/24

*ith the moon as his only source of light in the woods, his mind makes ague faces out of the

te$tures in all of the trees around him. Their e$pressions solemn, they all stare directly at him.

I know you an read my thoughts. /ll of you. I am onneted to all trees in here. ou have

fallen, beoming those who rise but do not speak. I am here to save you.

-7ou must carry on./ 4ne of the faces thinks at him. Cameron intercepts the thought.

-Through the darkness, salation will be found./

7ou're talking to trees now6 *ITH 74&= :I506 Cameron Cole, go home

$he trikery of the demon that has emerged from the darkness will not sway me. I will stay on

my straight path through to $he #oure. I will not falter.

1hucks, what can I say6 7ou're right. )o fly to god damned Israel.

-1ss, you will neer make it/ !n angry tree face audibly hisses at him. -)ie up/

Cameron hears a rustling behind him. He swiels around to see the dark silhouette of a person

darting from behind one tree to another. !nd another. !nd another. ! deep fear sinks into Cameron's

chest. &nintelligible whispers surround him on all sides.

;...the eternal oid...;

;...it awaits you...;

;...continue...;

;...die...;

He turns back around and continues running.

$hey"re oming for me!

They're not real, Cameron.

I will never be

7ou'e gotta watch the ground, Cameron. )et up.

I think I hurt my ankle.

7eah, I can feel that.


15/24

I"ll be fine.

%ut your shirt back on.

I wonder what my parents will think. I"m (ust leaving them.

)ood 3uestion. *hat will your parents think6 7ou should go back and calmly e$plain

eerything to them. #ust so they understand *H7 you're going to Israel.

I will visit them in a dream. I will tell them why it has to be this way. I will leave a sign for

them to show them it was real in the morning. $hree penils forming a triangle on the floor.

The number of trees begins to thin. The moonlight starts beaming in more powerfully, colliding

with the fog. I hear a car drie by. I see a steep slope that leads up to a street

Where?

&h, nowhere.

%h, I see it.

8e careful

I will.

Car There's a C!=

I saw it.

5o you didn't 7ou were two steps into the road

2ukily *od is proteting me.

7ou're an atheist

I was before I was awoken.

Cameron, you're not een yourself right now. Try and think obectiely. 7ou were at home,

you smoked mariuana, and now you're thinking tremendously insane things.

FLIBSMERBOBMAKEN! INDOPROBLatioBILITYfe

aeraera ifi"mi#mo$amer%mamer$ot


16/24

TINKMEPATMERBANDERCameron is startled by the deep, demonic oice.

Wha... What the hell?

0ammit, #effery 5ot a good time

Bam%meraen &om$atetion&om$e'ityof t(e&o%mo%im$er%maea

7es, I understand, but this SPAMMAFLAS)NO is++ hey, fuck off This kid is wigging out.

Knock off your crap

our evil will not penetrate my shield to your ways that I have been bestowed with by *od. I

will not be orrupted.

Fo%(meraI AM T)E ENDne%($a%mir$a*

fe$%mer$a%(meraee

#effery, get out of here. 5obody likes you.

"er+

/s more demons begin to show themselves, they fail to put a stop to my (ourney. 2ight will

prevail in the end, defeating the vauum of darkness...

1urely there is 14: part of you that reali"es how insane you sound right now.

I know I sound ra&y, but I"m not.

!re you sure about that6

It"s real.

Is it6

It has to be.

*hy6

4eause I know it is.

7ou'e thought you'e known lots of things.


17/24

$rue, but... I was enlightened! I see all!

!nd of course that comes with the ability to talk to trees.

$hey need me.

The trees need you. 1urely you know what that sounds like. 1top running for a second and

think about that.

It"s real...

(ook out for that T=

222

Tapping on Cameron's shoulder. ;Cameron, are you okay6 4h shit... Cameron;

/88... /le6?

Cameron feels a dull pain in his head.

%h, shit... /hh...

He opens his eyes. He is lying on his back, looking up at a thick tree trunk that towers aboe

him. !le$ looks down at him from the other side, a concerned e$pression on his face.

;!le$...;

ou"re still here...

-*hat happened6/ Cameron asks. !le$ sits down and falls onto his back. Cameron looks

around and finds himself in a big open park.

!le$ rolls his head oer towards Cameron. -7ou don't remember6/

-5ot really,/ Cameron says. -I remember thinking you wanted to hurt me somehow... Then I

ran into the trees./

-*ow, man. #esus. That was like two hours ago. 7ou ust... bolted out the door, screaming

'1top me 1top me' while you ran into the woods... I was trailing you through there the whole time,

but you kept running and I would lose you. (ike fie minutes ago I heard you yelling nonsense from


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oer here, so I ran oer and found you here. Is your head okay6;

Wow...

Cameron feels the bump on his forehead. ;7eah, I think I'm okay...;

;7ou really don't remember any of that6; !le$ says.

-I remember umping off the deck... I don't remember any of the shouting or anything... I can

sort of remember the woods... I remember thinking something that felt like the most important thing in

the world.../ Cameron lets himself fall onto his rear with a thousand mile stare.

-!le$.../

-*hat6/

-The oice is still here./

There's a silence between the two of them as they sit in the dark. The only sounds present are

the wind blowing through the big open park and the cicadas. Cameron feels some kind of connection

to the cicadas, but he's not sure why. He stares at the distant trees silently. 1omehow it feels like

they're staring back.

-I think you should go see a doctor. This stuff isn't normal, man./ !le$ pauses again, as does

Cameron. -!re you still high6/

-! bit. 5othing like I was before.../ He continues staring at the trees, his eyes slightly

widened. -I feel like I'm not een here anymore. (ike none of this is real.../

Is this real?

!le$, putting his phone in his pocket, stands up and grabs Cameron's hand. -1ounds like it's

mostly oer. Come on, get up. (et's get you home./

Cameron stands up. He reali"es he is holding his shirt, then pulls it on oer his aching head.

He winces when he puts too much weight on his ankle.

Wait... $he plot...

There's no plot.


19/24

Cameron feels something on his cheek. He puts his fingers to his face, and feels wetness. He

reali"es that he is crying.

What happened?

! pair of headlights cuts through the darkness. ! an has drien into the parking lot.

-Cameron./

-*hat6/

;*hen you first... left...; He pauses with a deep breath. ;I called your parents. I ust te$ted

them that you're here.;

%h shit.

Cameron stands there in silence, staring at the an.

!le$ starts moing towards the ehicle. -Come on, man. (et's go./

222

Cameron stares through the windshield absently.

-*e're not mad, Cameron./ Tim says, looking at the road. -&sing drugs was a bad idea, but

you couldn't hae known this would happen./

-It's back./ Cameron says. 1herri s3uee"es his shoulder from the seat behind his.

Why are you doing this?

7ou wouldn>t understand. It's ust what I do. 7ou breathe, I talk.

Well I don"t like it.

*ell I don't like you messing up my home by smoking weed.

ou mean M +/0!

1ame thing.

ou son of a bith.

I don't hae a mother.


20/24

-*hat kinds of things does it say6/ 1herri asks 3uietly.

-:ostly it ust says what's going on./ Cameron says, holding his head. -It talks to me, too,

though./

-It'll probably wear off./ Tim says.

I won't. It doesn't work like that.

-It's saying it won't./ Cameron says, staring at his feet.

-*e'll see about that./ 1herri says.

#he saysI heard what she said. !nd yes, we will.

The ride smoothes out as the tires hit asphalt. ! clear sky illuminates the hospital parking lot,

and the immense building behind it.

ou"re on.

222

The warm sink water on Cameron's hands feel good in the thoroughly sterili"ed bathroom. He

looks up to see himself in the mirror, e$amining the large, puffy band+aid on his forehead. He picks up

the ice pack he got from the nurse and places it back on top of it. He can recogni"e his reflection a

little more now, though it still feels somewhat foreign.

*e can co+e$ist. 7ou and me.

3o! $his is my head. I live here. ou didn"t ask me if you ould ome in.

I'e been in here ust as long as you.

$hat"s not true!

*hateer helps you sleep at night. 8y the way, as long as we're able to talk to each other,

would you mind getting more of that6 It gets cluttered in here when you don't get enough, and I'm ust

saying that you do spend a lot of time staying up looking at 9acebook. 1ee, we're like roommates It'll

be good practice for college


21/24

Cameron dries his hands and limps through the door into the lobby of the =, putting more

weight on his left ankle than his right. The doctor should be in here any minute. :ake that second.

There he is. ! tall man in a lab coat holding a clip board calls out, -Cole6 Cameron Cole6/

The Coles stand up and make their way towards the doctor. He reaches out to shake 1herri and

Tim's hands. -Hi, I'm 0r. Tye,/ he says. -%lease, come this way./

The Coles follow the doctor down the hall. He leads them to an e$amination room.

Tye sits in a chair and reads his clip board. -(et me read off what's on here to make sure

eerything on here is correct. It says here that Cameron smoked mariuana with some friends and had

an aderse reaction. It included hearing oices, e$treme paranoia, and some possible religious

delusions. How much of this do you remember, Cameron6;

-! little more than I was able to before.../ Cameron says, looking at the ground. -I remember

being in the woods... There were shadow people running all around me./

-1o... some hallucinations as well./ Tye says, nodding understandingly. -*ell, Cameron, it

seems to me like you had a psychotic reaction to the mariuana. It doesn't happen to ery many people,

but for some, either because of a dormant mental disorder or a genetic predisposition, mariuana can

cause what's called a psychotic break. That basically means you were separated from reality for a

while./ He swiels in his chair to face Tim and 1herri. -0o you hae a history of mental illness in your

family6/

-:y mom.../ Tim responds lowly. -1he was schi"oaffectie.../

-4kay, so we likely hae an idea of what happened./ Tye says. -7ou seem to be stabili"ing,

Cameron. That's good. Is there still any weird stuff going on6/

-I hear a oice./

-1o the oices are still there. !nything else6/

-5o, and it's ust one oice now./

-*hat kinds of things does the oice say6/


22/24

-It ust says what's going on. It's like it's narrating a story./

-4kay, that sounds like what's called a running commentary. 1ome people who hae issues

with psychosis will hear a oice in their head that narrates things. Things they do, say, stuff like that./

-It's doing it right now. It says eerything. I can hardly listen to you right now because it

repeats eerything you say as you say it. It does it when I talk, too.;

Tye nods understandingly. -How often do you hear it6/

-1ometimes it ust keeps going, but then it'll stop completely. It switches back and forth.;

-Hmm, okay. Cameron, it's going to take more psychological testing to figure out e$actly what

happened to you, and if you're going to need further care. 9or now, I ust need you to promise to

yourself that you>ll stay away from drugs. That includes alcohol. 7ou'e had a pretty serious mental

break. 7our brain isn't working right, and adding any mind+altering substances into it can really mess

you up. &nderstand6;

-4f course./ Cameron says, looking up at Tye. Tye smiles back at him.

-9or now,/ Tye says, -I'm ust going to gie you some antipsychotics. They will

1hit.

mm, what"s the matter?

&h, nothing.

The doctor ots something down on a slip of paper. -Here, take this to the pharmacy down the

hall and they'll set you up with what you need. en if you feel completely better, you need to keep

taking the pills. Call me in a week and we'll see where you're at and where to go from there. !nd

make sure you stay awake for a while longer. 7ou need to keep an eye on that concussion./

They won't een work. 7ou'll see.

Tye shakes hands with eeryone in the room and walks out of the room. 1herri touches

Cameron's shoulder. -(et's go get you your medicine/ 1he says, trying to be optimistic. Cameron

calmly and slowly gets off the seat and e$its the room with his parents. His face is blank.


23/24

7ou know, I want you to go try the pills. #ust so you can see that they won't work.

They make their way down the bright white hallway to the pharmacy and up to the desk.

Taking the white slip of paper from Tim, the oerly cheerful woman behind the counter hands him a

bottle of small white pills that aren't going to do anything.

-7ou can take your first dose now, Cameron./ 1he says, smiling at him.

-Thanks.../ He says.

-There's a drinking fountain down the hall and to the right./ The pharmacist tells him, handing

him a paper cup.

Cameron limps down the hallway, determination in his... please stop. 7ou don't hae to do this.

1top *e can work something out I'll only talk on week days 0ump that out 0&:% IT 4&T 54*

C!:=45 9I5I1H1 9I((I5) HI1 1T&%I0 C&% *ITH 0&:8 *!T= !50 H!501 IT

T4 HI1 &)(7 :4: 14 H C!5 )T HI1 0&:8 %I((1 TH!T !=5'T )4I5) T4 04

!57THI5) TH7'= 54T )455! 04 !57THI5) 045'T


24/24

goes to the shower showers brushes his teeth gets in car leaes for school cameron gets out of his car

walks into school he sits down with his friends at the table in the lunch room ale$ says hi looks at him

ale$ looks sad ted looks at him from one end of the long table cecily waes from the other end ale$

asks cameron how he's doing cameron says the meds make me foggy but better ale$ says good you

know we are going out to a m+ie tonight y++ should come along ale$ i mean cameron says wh+t moie

ale$ r+plies we h+e not dec+d+d wh+t m+ie yet b+t we +st w+nna d+ s+++th+ng w+th y++ w+ w+re w+

rried th+t y++ woul+n+ b+ +k b+t it ++ g+++ s++ y+ d +ng a b+t b+ tter Cameron i hate you this is not

th+ end i w+ll +lway+ be h+r+ in +he r+cess+s of your m+nd +atchi+g w+it+ng f+r th+ opp+rt+n+ty to s++++e i

am fr+m a world wh+ch you do not kn+w ust wa+t youll see i will r+main alie ust waiting w+iting w++t+

ng i am not gone cameron not een close th+se p+lls did noth+ng b+t put +p a w+ll y++ll see yo+ll s+e

youll see ++t wait i will alw+ys b+ here waiting wait+ng w+iting wa+t+ng w+it+ng wa+t+n+ waiti+g wai++++

w+++ing wa+ti+g w+iti++ wa+ti+g wa+t+++ w+iting w+ ing wa in+ wa+ ng wa+ting wa n+ w +ing w + +g +

ing w++t g ai++ng w ++ in+ wai++ng w ++ g +ait+n iti+ ai+ +g w+it +++ in +atin+ w +in+ w+it+++ w ti+

+ ++ w+it+++ *++ +++ + +) +++T+++ * ++5) * +!IT+++ +++TI5+ *++ ++ +++++ + ++++++g +++ ++ ++++++g

+++++++ w++++++ ++++ ++ ++ +++g ++ +++ + + + ++++++g +++++++ w++++++ +++++++ ++ ++++ +++ ++ +++ ++ ++++ ++ +++++++ ++ ++

+++ +++ ++ ++ ++ + +++ ++ +++ ++ +++ ++ ++ +++ ++ +++ ++++ +++ ++ +++ ++ +++ +++ ++ + ++ +++ ++++ ++ ++

++ + + ++ +++ + + + + +++ ++ +++ ++ + + + +++ + + +++ ++ +++ ++ ++ + + + + ++ ++ +++

+ + + ++ ++ +++ ++ + ++ + +++ + + + + + + + + ++ + + + + + + +

+ + + ++ ++ ++ + + + + + + + + +

+ + +++ + + ++ + + ++ + ++ +

+ + + + + + + +

+ + + + +

+ +

+

running commentary

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