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Running head: THE ADULT BULLY 1
The Adult Bully: Mistaken Beliefs, Private Logic, and Social Interest
A Literature Review
Presented to
The Faculty of the Adler Graduate School
_____________________
In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirement for
The Degree of Master of Arts in
Adlerian Counseling and Psychotherapy
______________________
By
Chandra R. Roth
______________________
Chair: Rachelle Reinisch, DMFT
Reader: Meghan Williams, MA
_____________________
June, 2018
THE ADULT BULLY 2
The Adult Bully: Mistaken Beliefs, Private Logic, and Social Interest
Copyright © 2018
Chandra R. Roth
All rights reserved
THE ADULT BULLY 3
Abstract
Bullying in schools is a prevalent concern among American parents and educators. Many
outgrow adolescent behaviors, but adolescents become adults that bully employees, coworkers,
or family members. If adolescent bullies do not receive proper interventions to correct
aggressive behaviors, it can have an impact on relationships, careers, and physical and emotional
health. Social interest projects could facilitate goodwill among coworkers. Exposure to the
issues and concerns of others may move the adult bully from narcissistic motivations to a
concern for others, community, and the world.
Keywords: adult bully, bully-victim, workplace bullying, Adler, social interest
THE ADULT BULLY 4
Acknowledgments
I must thank all five of my parents for the endless support, encouragement, and
occasional exasperation throughout this process. Thank you for being patient with me.
Apparently, like so many things in my life, I had to do this in my own time. Thank you to my
friend, Lori, for always believing in me no matter what the endeavor, and for being the truest and
most loyal friend I could have ever hoped for. Countless thanks to my dear friend, Jen Boyd, for
meeting me in the Writing Center and helping me see that I was actually making progress when I
felt defeated. Thanks to Susie Barker for also scheduling study dates with me and attempting to
motivate me with Starbucks. Thank you to friends and family for showing an interest, asking
(and occasionally nagging) me about my project. Thanks to Marina Bluvshtein, my first
professor at Adler. Thank you for your wonderful influence and for convincing me to attend
ICASSI. I feel delighted to be a part of such a passionate, socially conscious, and cooperative
community. Thank you to Dr. Rachelle Reinisch for sticking with me and not giving up on me
even when I gave you several opportunities to do so. Thank you for following up, building my
confidence, and most importantly for reading my drivel then beautifully crafting it into
something scholarly. You are truly a “human prepossessing homosapien with a full-sized aortic
pump!” (Crane, Kauffman, Klein, & Christensen, 2003, season 10, episode 5).
THE ADULT BULLY 5
Dedication
I would like to dedicate this paper to my clients, even though they will most likely never
read it. Kiddos, I wish you were growing up in a better world. You make me want to do better.
THE ADULT BULLY 6
Table of Contents
Bullying........................................................................................................................................... 8
Victim ................................................................................................................................... 12
Bully-victim .......................................................................................................................... 13
Bully/pure bully .................................................................................................................... 13
Types of Bullying ......................................................................................................................... 14
Direct and Indirect Bullying ..................................................................................................... 14
Physical Abuse .......................................................................................................................... 15
Verbal Abuse ............................................................................................................................ 15
Social Bullying and Relational Aggression .............................................................................. 16
Cyberbullying ........................................................................................................................... 17
Dating Abuse/ Dating Violence ................................................................................................ 17
The Impact of Bullying ................................................................................................................. 18
The Adult Bully ............................................................................................................................ 20
Narcissistic Adult Bully ............................................................................................................ 20
Impulsive Adult Bully............................................................................................................... 20
Physical Bully ........................................................................................................................... 20
Verbal Adult Bully .................................................................................................................... 21
Secondary Adult Bully .............................................................................................................. 21
Workplace Bullying .................................................................................................................. 21
The Impact of Childhood Bullying ............................................................................................... 26
Social Interest and Empathy ..................................................................................................... 26
Work and Socioeconomic Status .............................................................................................. 26
Relationships ............................................................................................................................. 27
Mental Health and Self-Awareness .......................................................................................... 27
Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder ................................................................................ 28
Oppositional defiant disorder ................................................................................................ 28
Conduct disorder ................................................................................................................... 28
Depression............................................................................................................................. 29
Antisocial behavior ............................................................................................................... 29
Narcissism ............................................................................................................................. 29
Machiavellianism .................................................................................................................. 30
Psychopathy. ......................................................................................................................... 30
THE ADULT BULLY 7
Individual Psychology .................................................................................................................. 30
Inferiority/Mistaken Movement ................................................................................................ 31
Adler and Dreikurs ........................................................................................................................ 33
The Discouraged Child ................................................................................................................. 34
Four Mistaken Goals of Misbehavior ........................................................................................... 35
Natural and Logical Consequences ............................................................................................... 35
Crucial Cs.................................................................................................................................. 36
Social Interest............................................................................................................................ 38
Mother-child dyad ................................................................................................................. 40
Family ................................................................................................................................... 40
Community ........................................................................................................................... 40
Society................................................................................................................................... 40
Humanity............................................................................................................................... 41
Planetary ............................................................................................................................... 41
The cosmos ........................................................................................................................... 41
God/spirituality ..................................................................................................................... 41
Optimism/encouragement. .................................................................................................... 42
Life Tasks.................................................................................................................................. 42
Work ..................................................................................................................................... 42
Social..................................................................................................................................... 43
Love. ..................................................................................................................................... 44
Self ........................................................................................................................................ 44
Spiritual ................................................................................................................................. 44
Discussion ..................................................................................................................................... 44
Implications for Practice ........................................................................................................... 45
Building Community Feeling and Empathy ............................................................................. 46
Screenings and Interventions .................................................................................................... 47
Recommendations for Future Research .................................................................................... 48
Conclusion .................................................................................................................................... 50
References ..................................................................................................................................... 51
THE ADULT BULLY 8
The Adult Bully: Mistaken Beliefs, Private Logic, and Social Interest
According to Olweus (2011), bullying is defined as unwanted repetitive behavior that
involves an imbalance of power. Bullying is most widely associated with childhood or
adolescence and is a growing concern among American parents and educators given the recent
rise in school violence. Fortunately, most people outgrow adolescent behaviors, but a few go on
to bully their employees, coworkers, or family members (Cowie & Colliety, 2016).
Approximately 23 million Americans experience bullying in the workplace (Weber, 2014).
Maxfield (2014) stated out of 2,283 employees, 96% had experienced some type of bullying in
the workplace. Maxfield suggested many employees endure bullying for a year or more.
If adolescent bullies do not receive proper interventions to correct aggressive behaviors
they are likely to struggle in relationships, careers, and with physical and emotional health. The
purpose of this literature review is to explore research regarding the impact of adult bullying. It
is recommended that mental health professionals help the identified adult bully explore private
logic and mistaken beliefs (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999). Exposure to the issues and concerns of
others may move the adult bully from narcissistic motivations to concern for others, community,
and the world at large. With an increase in social interest, an identified adult bully could learn to
strive on the useful side of life (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964).
Bullying
Bullying is found in all societies, including modern hunter-gatherer societies and
ancient civilizations. It is considered an evolutionary adaptation, the purpose of
which is to gain high status and dominance, get access to resources, secure survival,
reduce stress and allow for more mating opportunities. (Wolke & Lereya, 2015, p.
879)
THE ADULT BULLY 9
Bullying has been an issue for school-age children for nearly as long as there have
been formal education settings. For instance, Sercombe and Donnelly (2013) reported that
the first documentation of bullying was in a Thomas Hughes story written in 1857. The story
is loosely based on the author’s life and describes a boy and his ongoing difficulties with a
bully. According to Sercombe and Donnelly, Hughes later commented publicly on the issue
of school bullying and asked what could be done to improve the matter.
Smith, Cowie, Olafsson, and Liefooghe (2002) stated that in the 1970s, Heinmann
was the first to document bullying activity and used the Norwegian term mobbning.
Heinmann’s definition specifically referred to a group of individuals that unexpectedly
bullied one person and concluded abruptly without explanation. Dan Olweus wrote about
mobbing (similar to mobbning), but eventually broadened his meaning to an individual, not
strictly a group, repeatedly dominating someone with less power or strength (Smith et al.,
2002).
Olweus (2011) researched bullying behavior for over 30 years and wrote this
definition of bullying: “Bullying is (1) intentional negative behavior that (2) typically occurs
with some repetitiveness and is (3) directed against a person who has difficulty defending
himself or herself” (p.151). Olweus (1999) further described bullying as an antagonistic
interaction with an individual in a perceived position of power over another (Nansel et al.,
2001). The bully can be older, physically dominant, a superior at work, or exudes an
effective posture of intimidation. That is, real or imagined, the bully has the illusion of
power over the victim. Two sparring children of relatively the same size and stature would
not be considered bullying (Smith et al., 2002); however, Boulton and Underwood (1992)
reported that 65% of middle school children were bullied by other boys often of the same
THE ADULT BULLY 10
age. Sercombe and Donnelly (2013) highlighted the difficulty in defining behavior as
bullying if the actions were unintentionally harmful. For instance, many bullies think they
are playfully teasing and fail to see the negative impact on the victim.
The definition of bullying is a crucial caveat to presenting charges against an
aggressor as well as a catalyst for creating changes in both public policy and cultural norms
(Sercombe & Donnelly, 2013). Schwartz, Proctor, and Chien discovered vast disparities in
research data on bullying and proposed that one of the reasons for the differences was the
various descriptions used by the researchers (as cited in Solberg, Olweus, & Endresen,
2007). Within 10 studies, group size, the definition of bullying, and the documentation
method resulted in over 28% differentiation in the number of reported bully-victims.
Smith et al. (2002) wrote that bullying was a growing problem in many countries
around the world. For example, England, The Netherlands, Norway, Australia, New
Zealand, and Japan participate in bullying research. France, and some Spanish-speaking
countries, do not have a translation for the word bully (Smith et al., 2002). This lack of a
unified classification creates a barrier to sharing and evaluating data between countries.
For research purposes, it is important to categorize, and clearly define, bullying roles
and guidelines to quantify bullying activity. So far, researchers have varied definitions they
use to describe those involved in bullying activity, which results in some inconsistent data on
the pervasiveness and extent of harm (Solberg, Olweus, & Endresen, 2007). For example,
Sigurdson, Undheim, Wallander, Lydersen, and Sund (2015) identified bullying roles as:
non-involved, bullied, bully-victim, and acts of aggression toward others. Wolke, Copeland,
Angold, and Costello (2013) categorized groups as victim only, bully only, both (i.e., dual
roles of victim and aggressor), or neither (i.e., had not been a victim or victimized others).
THE ADULT BULLY 11
Mouttapa, Valente, Gallaher, Rohrbach, and Unger (2004) defined grouping of bullies,
victims, and aggressive victims, and Salmivalli (2010) categorized students as bullies,
victims, aide(s) to the bully, bully henchmen, and nonmembers. Wolke and Lereya (2015)
used the terms bully, victim, bystanders, and henchmen (i.e., bully-victims) to describe
participant roles. Olweus (2001a, 2001b, 2003) presented what appears to be the most
extensive set of role descriptions in the “bullying circle” (see Figure 1). The bullying circle
represents eight roles students may assume within a school setting:
• bully/bullies;
• followers, henchmen;
• supporters, passive bully/bullies;
• passive supporters, possible bully/bullies;
• disengaged onlookers;
• possible defenders;
• defenders of the victim;
• and the victim(s).
THE ADULT BULLY 12
Students in the role of possible defender observe the bullying, feel that they ought to
intervene, but ultimately do not respond (Olweus, 2003). The possible defender position
highlights the student’s internal conflict about not aiding the victim and how uninvolved
parties are likely to experience an emotional impact after the event. Three roles appear most
prevalent across the majority of studies on bullying: the victim, the bully-victim, and the
bully.
Victim. Olweus (1995) described the typical victim as timid, lacking confidence, and
often of smaller physical stature. This type of victim is referred to as a passive or submissive
victim, as they are unlikely to strike back. A provocative victim is someone that seems to
THE ADULT BULLY 13
actively draw negative attention from peers (Olweus, 2003; Pikas, 1989, Smith et al., 2002;
Smokowski & Kopasz, 2005). At times, proactive victims are referred to as aggressive
victims or bully-victims (Olweus, 2003; Smokowski & Kopasz, 2005; Solberg et al., 2007).
Bully-victim. Wolke and Lereya (2015) defined bully-victims as a subgroup of victims
who display bullying behavior. A bully-victim has been the target of bullying and becomes
the aggressor over someone else (Copeland, Wolke, Angold, & Costello, 2013; Fanti &
Kimonis, 2013; Mouttapa et al., 2004). For example, the victim felt weak or powerless
because of the bullying and then attempted, consciously or subconsciously, to dominate
someone else to reclaim lost confidence, often by the very means their aggressor used
(Kokkinos & Panayiotou, 2004). Bully-victims are also referred to as reactive bullies or
aggressive victims (Hanish & Guerra, 2004; Smokowski & Kopasz, 2005; Solberg et al.,
2007). The behavior of a reactive victim is generally considered reactionary and not overtly
antagonistic (Cowie & Colliety, 2016).
Bully/pure bully. Bullies who were never bullied themselves are also known as pure
bullies (Wolke & Lereya, 2015). Pure bullies are often physically strong, antagonistic, and
uninhibited (Olweus, 2003). Bullies can be outgoing children, liked by some, and disliked
by their victims (Wolke et al., 2013). Occasionally, bullying is motivated by the desire to
obtain goods, but is more often about dominance and cruelty (Salmivalli & Nieminen, 2002).
Pure bullies tend to have a need for control and little regard for the feelings of others
(Olweus, 2003). While these aforementioned terms are not yet widely used or recognized in
most research studies, these classifications draw attention to the different levels of spectator
involvement in the bullying process.
THE ADULT BULLY 14
For many years bullying was considered a common life transition (Theriot, Dulmus,
Sowers, & Bowie, 2004; Wolke et al., 2013). That is, bullying was a period of social torment
that many experienced during formative years, and many ultimately believed bullying had
the power to build one’s character (Bond, Carlin, Thomas, Rubin, & Patton, 2001; Sercombe &
Donnelly, 2013). According to Sercombe and Donnelly (2013), the societal perception of
bullying changed in 1983 when a teen completed suicide that was believed to be the direct
result of harassment by school peers. In the 1980s, Olweus and his colleagues found that
15% of the students surveyed were somehow involved in bullying behavior. Using the same
survey questions (from the 1980s) in 2001, Olweus and his peers found that the percentage of
students involved in bullying had climbed to 80% and revealed that the number of victimized
students had increased by 50% (Olweus, 2003). Craig and Pepler (1997) reported that a child
was bullied an average of once every seven minutes on the playground and once every 25
minutes in a classroom.
Types of Bullying
Direct and Indirect Bullying
Smith et al. (2002) reported that bullying is manifested in direct and indirect ways.
Smith et al. clarified that direct bullying is made evident by blatant verbal insults or bodily
harm. Indirect aggression is intentional, however, appears less overt and has an impact on
the victim’s social standing. Smith et al. furthered that bullying behaviors frequently occur
without antagonistic behavior from the victim. Olweus called this unprovoked type of
bullying proactive aggression (Olweus, 2003). Coie, Dodge, Terry, and Wright (1991)
described two categories of proactive aggression. The first type is instrumental aggression
in which the perpetrator attempts to obtain a material prize or possession from the victim
THE ADULT BULLY 15
(Salmivalli & Nieminen, 2002). For instance, a bigger child pressuring a smaller child for
his or her lunch money. The second type of bullying is about dominance and cruelty without
the clear triumph of a material reward (Coie et al., 1991). Sercombe and Donnelly (2013)
stressed that bullying is not just about a show of power, but bringing the target to a place of
hopelessness. Respect (n.d.) outlined five types of bullying: physical, verbal, social,
cyberbullying, and dating abuse.
Physical Abuse
Naylor, Cowie, Cossin, Bettencourt, and Lemme (2006) stated, “bullying may be
physically direct (for example, hitting, kicking or punching) … and may derive from physical
superiority (arising from relative size, strength or numerical outnumbering” (p. 554). Physical
bullying injures a person’s body or harms personal property (Stopbullying, n.d.). Additionally,
aggressive or suggestive hand gestures would not illicit physical harm; however, hostile
gesticulation is considered direct physical aggression without physical contact because the
gestures are directly in front of the victim.
Verbal Abuse
Verbal bullying is using words in a negative way and refers to insults, teasing, and put
downs used to gain power over someone else’s life (Respect, n.d.). Verbal bullying is direct
aggression and one of the most common types of bullying (Respect, n.d.). During verbal
bullying, the bullies use their voices as a weapon (Respect, n.d.). The old adage sticks and
stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me intended to empower children, but it
has ultimately proved to be a false statement. Injuries incurred from verbal bullying do not leave
physical marks, but they have the ability to leave the victim psychologically damaged for years
(Copeland et al., 2013).
THE ADULT BULLY 16
Social Bullying and Relational Aggression
Social bullying or relational aggression is centered around relationships or social
networks (Respect, n.d.; Stopbullying, n.d.). Sigurdson et al. (2015) explained that “relational
aggression, such as spreading rumors or excluding individuals from social groups… has been
found to be more characteristic of female bullies” (p. 11). Relational aggression, or indirect
aggression, such as intimidation, spreading misinformation, or ostracizing others from a group of
friends, has repeatedly been more typical of female antagonists (Olweus, 2003; Rivers & Smith,
1994; Sercombe & Donnelly, 2013; Sigurdson et al., 2015).
An example of social bullying is an attempt to alter someone’s social status by
undermining peer relationships. Though it may seem counterintuitive, social bullying often takes
place between friends. Safran (2007) wrote that young women typically place more value on
relationships than young men and therefore consider abusive friendships a better alternative than
seclusion. Safran further described the complexities of friend group dynamics explaining that
many individuals who bully are not lacking in social skills but are extremely persuasive and
calculated in maneuvers to undermine victims. For instance, a bully may use her positive social
positioning to manipulate and intimidate a friend with less influential social standing into a state
of dependence or servitude (Cowie & Colliety, 2016; Sigurdson et al. 2015; Wolke & Lereya,
2015). Safran (2007) suggested that because girls are often socialized to be friendly, they are ill-
prepared to deal with confrontation in healthy ways. For example, a bully-friend may decide to
stop talking to a member of the friend group and may use their power or leverage to encourage
other group members to do the same, possibly without cause. Olweus (2003) maintained that
relational aggression and female bullies were not the most prevalent or damaging of bully
THE ADULT BULLY 17
antagonists (even with the deliberate and psychologically disingenuous nature of relational
aggression).
Cyberbullying
Smith et al. (2008) defined cyberbullying as an aggressive, intentional act carried out by a
group or individual, using electronic forms of contact, repeatedly and over time, against a victim
who cannot easily defend him or herself. Völlink, Bolman, Dehue, and Jacobs (2013) defined
cyberbullying as bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and
tablets. For instance, cyberbullying can occur through text messages, phone applications, online
in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content.
Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content
about someone else. Cyberbullying can include sharing personal or private information that
causes embarrassment or humiliation. At times, cyberbullying may include unlawful or criminal
behavior (Stopbullying, n.d.). Völlink et al. (2013) reported that targets of cyberbullying tend to
view the attack as beyond unchangeable, which creates emotional responses of hopelessness,
despair, anger, and isolation.
Dating Abuse/ Dating Violence
Debnam and Bradshaw (2015) defined dating violence as “the physical, sexual, or
psychological/emotional violence within a dating relationship” (p. 77). That is to say that verbal,
physical, and relational abuse can be part of dating abuse. For example, a perpetrator may
belittle or threaten harm to his or her partner and cause lowered self-esteem (Debnam &
Bradshaw, 2015). Howard, Debnam, Wang, and Gilchrist (2012) found correlations between
dating abuse victimization and drug abuse, depressive symptoms, and suicidal thoughts. Exner-
Cortens, Eckenrode, and Rothman (2013) reported that the negative effects of dating abuse were
THE ADULT BULLY 18
recorded five years after the perpetration. Those subjected to dating violence as adolescents
admitted to destructive behaviors in adulthood including drug use and intimate partner
aggression (Exner-Cortens et al., 2013).
The Impact of Bullying
Bullies attack for a variety of reasons including: physical appearance, social status,
special needs, disability, or sexual identity (Roberts, 2006). Davis and Nixon (2014) stated
the reported reasons for bullying most often include a student’s physical appearance (55%), body
shape (37%), or race (16%). Olweus (2003) made the argument that having an accent, wearing
glasses, or carrying extra weight does not make a student more likely to be bullied. Olweus
further reported that bullying is not a result of overcrowded schools or class sizes, poor academic
performance, or even low self-confidence. Rather, bullying is about individual character,
personal response, inclination, habits, and, particularly for boys, positive or negative physical
abilities. Additionally, Olweus stated the personalities of significant adults, especially school
staff, have an impact on the overall response to bullying, specifically, the amount of tolerance for
bullying, as well as the prevalence and duration of bullying (Olweus, 1995, 2003).
According to Ambassadors 4 Kids Club (n.d.), 77 % of students reported some type of
bullying (verbal, mental, physical, or cyberbullying). Similarly, the American Society for the
Positive Care of Children (SPCC; n.d.) reported up to 70% of students have either witnessed
or experienced bullying. The National School Safety Center (NSSC) reported bullying was
the most overlooked issue in the U.S. education system (Beale, 2001). In a study of over
10,000 students Brockenbrough, Cornell, and Loper (2002) discovered that over 30% of the
students interviewed had antagonistic behaviors and admitted that in the past, they carried
weapons to school. Cowie and Colliety (2016) wrote that over the last thirty years there has
THE ADULT BULLY 19
been exhaustive research on the negative impact of bullying on the victim, and little research
exists on the psychological effects on the perpetrator. Researchers attempted to identify common
characteristics and diagnoses in order to bolster bullying intervention programs (Vaughn et al.,
2010; Wolke & Lereya, 2015).
Bullying activity has the potential to harm both the bullied and the bully (Cowie &
Colliety, 2016). For instance, either party may develop emotional or physical problems as a
result of bullying. Bullies are more likely to participate in other offending behaviors (Vaugh
et al., 2010). Bully-victims have greater difficulty acclimating to school surroundings and
are more likely to attract disapproving responses from teachers (Fanti & Kimonis, 2013;
Olweus, 2001). According to the SPCC, bullying can result in reluctance to go to school,
truancy, headaches, stomach pain, reduced appetite, shame, anxiety, irritability, aggression, and
depression for the both the bully and the victim (SPCC, n.d.).
Typically, the bully does not draw a lot of sympathy, while youth involved in crime are
recognized as youth at risk and in need of intervention (Cowie & Colliety, 2016). Just as a
young person involved in burglary or drug sales is at risk for leading a life of crime, so too is the
bully at risk for a life of violence or antisocial personality disorder in adult life (Bender & Lösel,
2011). Sercombe and Donnelly (2013) believed there is a danger in a bully label, or inferring
a person is without morals, because this label can become part of the individual’s identity.
Once an individual has been labeled a bully, he or she may find it difficult to break away
from that classification. One example may be when a teacher has been warned about a
student’s bullying behavior and unintentionally searches for deviant behavior from that
student. Bullying behavior is not strictly reserved for those in adolescence. Rivers and Smith
(1994) reported that while physical aggression decreases with age, verbal bullying increases.
THE ADULT BULLY 20
Later in life many adults find themselves either the victim or the perpetrator of bullying
within their family, workplace, or community.
The Adult Bully
Limited research exists on the adult bully and vast documentation is available on bullies
in the workplace. This would suggest that adult bullies primarily exist in a workplace setting.
Bullies can not only be employers or work peers, but family members, friends, or parents of
other children at school. Bullyingstatitsics (n.d.) described six types of adult bullying:
narcissistic, impulsive, physical, verbal, secondary, and the workplace bully.
Narcissistic Adult Bully
The narcissistic bully has trouble relating to people and does not worry about the feelings
of others (Bullyingstatistics, n.d.). Like a true narcissist, this bully cares only about what is
happening to him or her. A narcissist bully is more likely to commit more calculated or
controlling kinds of antagonism known as proactive aggression. Narcissistic bullies feel better by
putting others down and do not regret their actions because of the belief that everyone else is
wrong (Bullyingstatistics, n.d.).
Impulsive Adult Bully
As the name implies, impulsive bullying is often not premeditated, but reactionary
(Bullyingstatistics, n.d.). Impulsive bullying is likely to occur when the instigator feels exposed
or vulnerable and lashes out at random individuals. Impulsive bullies are either unable to
consider the potential negative repercussions or are so impassioned that they cannot control their
impulses (Bullyingstatistics, n.d.)
Physical Bully
THE ADULT BULLY 21
It is less common for adults to physically bully other adults (Bullyingstatistics, n.d.). The
reason for decreased physical bullying as adults may be that physical aggression in adults is
more likely to be categorized as assault. Physical bullying exists in adulthood, however, may not
involve physical contact. For instance, a physical bully may not actually lay hands on the victim
but may steal or damage the victim’s property (Bullyingstatistics, n.d.). Additionally,
threatening the possibility of physical harm is a form of physical bullying. This verbal threat
causes the victim to feel physically endangered.
Verbal Adult Bully
Verbal adult bullying can be difficult to report because verbal bullying can be subtle, and
the meaning of an individual’s comments may be deceiving (Bullyingstatistics, n.d.). For
example, the comment itself may not be harmful, but the delivery can have sarcastic or mocking
undertones. Due to the inflection or tone of voice, it is difficult to report to supervisors or human
resources a cruel or undermining intention. In a work setting, a victim may fear that he or she
would be perceived as overly sensitive by supervisors or peers.
Secondary Adult Bully
The secondary adult bully joins forces with the primary bully as a means to avoid
becoming the next victim (Bullyingstatistics, n.d.). This type of bullying is less about malicious
intentions and more about self-preservation. Secondary adult bullies may regret their role in
bullying; however, they are primarily looking out for their own interests (Bullyingstatistics, n.d.).
Workplace Bullying
Workplace bullying, also referred to as workplace psychological harassment, is a
growing problem, but not a new problem (Crawshaw, 2009). In 1939, the Hawthorne reported
THE ADULT BULLY 22
Roetlisberger and Dickson described an employee that was continually mocked and socially
outcast by peers (as cited in Agervold, 2007). Dowden (2010) stated that in 1999 the
International Labour Organization anticipated that the growing issue of workplace bullying
would be the most detrimental issue for the employees in the new millennium. The Workplace
Bullying Institute discovered that 36.6% of employees had been bullied at some point in their
work life and in 72% of cases the perpetrator was a workplace superior. Nearly 30% of
workplace bullying incidents go unreported due to targets’ fear of retaliation (Piotrowski, 2016).
In 62% of reported cases, the company either did not respond, or the response made the
circumstances worse for the victim (Dowden, 2010). Desrumaux, Machado, Przygodzki-Lionet,
and Lourel (2015) reported that companies were more likely to provide aid to workplace targets
when the perpetrator’s acts were damaging, and the perpetrator had shown remorse or had
overall prosocial conduct. Furthermore, the company was more likely to take action if the target
had a history of prosocial manners. Essentially, if the employer liked the employee, and the
employee was a cohesive part of the work environment, it influenced the decision to offer help
for the target or forgiveness to the perpetrator.
In the late 1980s, Leymann completed extensive research on workplace bullying and
coined this definition of workplace bullying: “a social interaction through which one
individual… is attacked by one or more…individuals almost on a daily basis and for periods of
many months, bringing the person into an almost helpless position with potentially high risk of
expulsion” (Leymann, 1996, p. 168). Leymann’s definition is essentially the one most used by
Norway, Finland, Germany, Austria, Great Britain, and Denmark (Agervold, 2007).
Crawshaw (2009) wrote about the difference of acceptable leadership styles for various
workplace environments. For example, it is a common practice for military leaders to shout at
THE ADULT BULLY 23
their subordinates with the understanding that the leader has best interest at heart; however,
shouting at employees is unacceptable decorum in an office and could lead to dismissal.
For documentation purposes, workplace bullying is determined by the regularity and
duration of incidences, the response of the victim, the power differential between target and
perpetrator, and the perpetrator’s intentions (Agervold, 2007). The general consensus is that the
bullying activity takes place at least once a week for at least six months (Agervold, 2007;
Leymann, 1990).
Piotrowski (2016) proposed five research categories for adult bullying in the workplace:
destructive leadership, abusive supervision, workplace bullying, incivility, and Adult Bully
Syndrome, and Field (n.d.), a world-renowned bullying researcher and anti-bullying campaigner,
described 15 different forms of potential workplace bullying:
• Pressure bullying - A pressure bully is a coworker or supervisor that becomes agitated by
the stress of a situation and takes it out on his colleagues or subordinates. During the
time of strain, the pressure bully may become cross, bark orders, or yell. Once the
tension is lifted, the behavior returns to normal. Field (n.d.) found pressure bullying to be
the most common workplace bully role and considered it separate from the other bully
types. The difference between a pressure bully and other bully types is the reparation that
takes place afterwards. Typically, the pressure bully can acknowledge the misbehavior,
express regret, and most importantly, prevent repeating the behavior the next time.
• Corporate bullying - A corporate bully is motivated by greed and extorts his or her
employees. These employers use immoral and unethical means to skirt around the law to
get maximum productivity with little care or consideration for the employee. An
THE ADULT BULLY 24
employee, under a corporate bully, may be given the impression that he or she will lose
his or her job if they do not comply to the hourly expectation.
• Organizational bullying - Unable to plan or acclimate for changing infrastructure, an
organization takes the strain out on the employee. Financial cuts, increased production,
and new social contract pressures that have an impact on the company are subsequently
felt directly by the employee.
• Institutional bullying - Much like corporate bullying, employees are subject to the norms
of the company. People in positions of power dictate hours, salaries, and positions
without personal accountability. Employees may feel powerless to question authority.
• Client bullying - A person in a service position feels intimidated by the client. Taking
“The customer is always right” to a level of belittling and taking advantage of the
employee.
• Serial bullying - Just as it sounds, a serial bully repeatedly applies aggressive behavior.
If the victim burdened by the harassment decides to leave the work environment, the
serial bully will undoubtedly find another source for his or her antagonism.
• Secondary bullying - A serial bully creates an environment in which coworkers begin to
join the harassing activity. The secondary bully either gets swept up in the moment or
acts in order to avoid becoming the next victim.
• Pair bullying - Pair bullies work together with one person typically taking the lead and
the other observing. Field (n.d.) cautioned that the observer was often the more
threatening of the pair.
• Gang or “mobbing” bullying - A group of people ganging up on an individual.
THE ADULT BULLY 25
• Vicarious bullying - The bully is facilitating conflict between two other people and only
occasionally interacts with the pair.
• Regulation bullying - The bully holds the victim to strict standards that may be
unnecessary in order to limit the victims or keep them stuck.
• Residual bullying - Bullying behavior is passed from one person to the next, and the same
person is the victim after the original bully has moved on. Similarly, a manager may
establish a bullying relationship with an employee and pass the behavior on to his or her
successor.
• Cyberbullying - As previously mentioned, this type of bullying can take place via social
media, text, or email.
• Hierarchical/peer/upward bullying - The most typical form of workplace bullying that
involves a superior bullying a subordinate. (MacDonald (2006) reported that 75% of
bullies assume management positions.) A coworker may also bully a fellow colleague,
and peer bullying may be facilitated by the manager, or the manager ignores the
harassment.
• Reactive or revenge bullying - Revenge bullying appears to stem from jealousy regarding
a coworker’s success or popularity. Reactive bullying is responding to bullying with
similar behavior. For example, an employee receives a harassing email and responds
with a harassing email.
Adult bullying has become commonplace in many areas of social interaction. For example,
adults may be denied access to exclusive members-only organizations, ritual initiation practices
in colleges and universities, or church members may be ostracized by a church congregation
(Twemlow & Sacco, 2013) have only recently been challenged as social norms.
THE ADULT BULLY 26
The Impact of Childhood Bullying
Wolke et al. (2013) conducted a study with a group of children in 1993 and then followed
up with those subjects in young adulthood. Wolke et al. examined the impact of bullying on
health, socioeconomic status, and relationships in later adult life. Wolke et al. discovered that
those that took part in bullying, and were bullied themselves, were likely to be males and
experienced a negative impact (a)economically, (b) within their social networks, and (c) in
their overall physical well-being. Furthermore, both the bully and bully-victim groups had
increased likelihood of unlawful behavior including arrests and the use of illegal substances.
Pure bullies experienced less negative impacts than bully-victims. Bully-victims appeared
more reckless, easily agitated, suffered from poor self-image, and had difficulty navigating
ordinary peer interactions and common societal norms (Wolke et al., 2013).
Social Interest and Empathy
Wolke et al. (2013) found that as adults, childhood bullies lie, regularly drink to excess,
have difficulty with the law, and use illegal drugs twice as often as those uninvolved with
bullying. Thirty-one percent of bully-victims reported a felony charge compared with 20% for
pure bullies and 1% for those uninvolved in bullying activities. In adulthood, bully-victims had
the highest percentage of criminal activity related to personal property damage and physical
aggression (Wolke et al., 2013).
Work and Socioeconomic Status
Those identified as bully-victims during childhood had higher high school dropout rates,
rarely attended college, were more likely to become financially destitute, and had quit several
jobs (Wolke et al., 2013). Pure bullies rated the second highest in the same categories and only
slightly higher than bully-victims in job termination (Wolke et al., 2013).
THE ADULT BULLY 27
Relationships
Wolke et al. (2013) found that over half of the bully-victims reported they did not have a
close or trusted friend. Furthermore, 15% of bullies, and 12% of bully-victims, reported
difficulty in establishing or maintaining friendships compared to .2% of participants who had
never been bullied or victimized.
When examining romantic relationships, Wolke et al. (2013) again found increased rates
of distress in adult relationships for those involved in childhood bullying. For instance, 23% of
those that bullied during childhood reported sexual encounters with a stranger, and just 1% of
those uninvolved with childhood bullying reported the same. Additionally, 13% percent of
bully-victims, and 14% of bullies, reported violence in their relationships compared to .5% of
those uninvolved in bullying. Predominantly, men who were school bullies had an increased
likelihood of engaging in dating abuse and unwelcome sexual advances (Cowie & Colliety,
2016). Additionally, Wolke et al. (2013) stated 60% of bully-victims reported troubled
relationships with parents. Piotrowski (2016) reported that adult bullies tend to be from families
with frequent contention, little affection, corporal punishment, and authoritarian parenting styles.
Schwartz, Dodge, Pettit, and Bates (1997) reported that witnessing violence in childhood leads to
aggressive behaviors in adulthood. In addition, being subjected to violence from adults leads to
an increased likelihood of being both a bully and a target among peers.
Mental Health and Self-Awareness
Bully-victims have an increased risk for panic and depressive disorders and the highest
risk for suicidal ideation, while pure bullies had the highest rates of antisocial personality
disorder (Copeland et al., 2013; Undheim 2013). Ninety-two percent of bully-victims reported
THE ADULT BULLY 28
smoking more than once a day (Wolke et al., 2013), and the bully group had the highest rates of
alcohol and marijuana abuse issues.
Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. Smokowski and Kopasz (2005) reported that
nearly one third of the bullies they studied had been diagnosed with attention-deficit
hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). While Fite, Evans, Cooley, and Rubens (2014) determined that
some bullies have ADHD; however, the link between ADHD and victimization was far more
common than the link between ADHD and bullying, especially with girls. Presumably, children
with ADHD may be more likely to speak out, interrupt, or act impetuously, and adolescent girls
may be less forgiving of these behaviors than their male counterparts (Diamantopoulou,
Henricsson, & Rydell, 2005).
Oppositional defiant disorder. Fite et al. (2014) found that oppositional defiant disorder
(ODD) was more common among bullies and victims than ADHD. In 2001, as many as 12.5 %
of bullies had an ODD diagnosis (Kumpulainen, Räsänen, & Puura, 2001). Physical bullying
tends to be more closely associated with ODD and more prevalent in males than females.
Females tend to use relational bullying more than physical (Fite et al., 2014; Sigurdson et al.
2015). Fite et al. (2014) also determined a notable connection between physical bullying and
peer delinquency. Reef, Diamantopoulou, van Meurs, Verhulst, and van der Ende (2010)
reported that when children break rules and challenge authority, they have increased rates of
psychopathology in adulthood when compared with physically aggressive children or children
who destroyed property.
Conduct disorder. Kumpulainen et al. (2001) found bully-victims were twice as likely
as pure bullies, and three times more likely than victims, to have a conduct disorder or ODD
(Kokkinos & Panayiotou, 2004). Additionally, conduct disorders with bully-victims were more
THE ADULT BULLY 29
prevalent than any other group (Austin & Joseph, 1996). Bullies had more anti-social, conduct
disorder, and ADHD symptoms (Wolke et al., 2013).
Depression. Kumpulainen et al. (2001) found that 12.5 % of bullies had a depression
diagnosis. Kumpulainen et al. (2001) reported depression in one fifth of the bully-victims they
studied. Copeland et al. (2013) found that female and male bully-victims equally experienced
depressive symptoms. Bully-victims were more likely to suffer panic or depressive disorders as
adults (Copeland et al., 2013). According to Toale and Brunner (2014), 38% of bully-victims
had suicidal ideation as adults. Pure bullies were less likely to experience depression or anxiety
and far more likely to have an antisocial disorder (Copeland et al., 2013).
Antisocial behavior. Childhood bullying is a strong predictor for anti-social behavior in
adulthood (Copeland et al., 2013). Bullies do not suffer from low self-esteem the way bully-
victims might (Kokkinos & Panayiotou, 2004). Kokkinos and Panayiotou (2004) reported that
bullying and conduct disorders are accompanied by a lack of empathy and aggression. It could
be argued that because they had not been victims, bullies never have the chance to sympathize
with a victim and obtain self-awareness. Bully-victims are likely to take part in anti-social
behaviors including drug use, carrying knives, lying to adults, and fighting (Ragatz, Anderson,
Fremouw, & Schwartz, 2011).
Narcissism. As Sehar and Fatima (2016) explained, a person with narcissistic tendencies
will have an extraordinarily high opinion of the self and require others to share that opinion. A
narcissist is dependent on the perceived adoration of others and bullying and narcissism go hand
in hand. For instance, if a narcissist does not feel special, he or she will create opportunities to
stand out or feel powerful. A narcissist will embarrass, harass, or put others down in order to
build him or herself up because they have a need to be seen and admired (Sehar & Fatima, 2016).
THE ADULT BULLY 30
Machiavellianism. Machiavellianism is manipulative behavior motivated by personal
gain. This individual is highly effective when reading others and anticipating responses in social
situations. A person with Machiavellian characteristics is unscrupulously conniving and void of
guilt when it comes to taking what they want (Sehar & Fatima, 2016). This individual will use
aggressive means if they believe self-perceived supremacy has been challenged (Piotrowski,
2015).
Psychopathy. Some characteristics of psychopathy include being insensitive,
inconsiderate, reckless, calculating or controlling, exploitive, unsympathetic, and a greater
likelihood of participating in unlawful actions (Patrick, 2006). Lack of compassion and inability
to empathize contribute to the psychopath’s ability to mistreat others (Sehar & Fatima, 2016).
Individual Psychology
Alfred Adler was born in 1830 in Penzing, Austria; he was the second born in a family of
six siblings (Dinkmeyer & Sperry, 2000). Mosak and Kopp, wrote that Adler had a younger
brother that died at a young age and Adler experienced serious illness as a child (as cited in
Mosak & Maniacci, 1999). Adler’s experience with illness and the loss of his brother had a
marked effect on Adler and led him to a career in medicine (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999). Adler
eventually attended the University of Vienna and became a physician (Dinkmeyer & Sperry,
2000). While in Vienna, Adler made the acquaintance of Sigmund Freud and the two became
friends and colleagues. A difference in viewpoint made it necessary for Adler to separate from
Freudian psychology and ultimately develop his own framework, which would later be called
Adlerian or Individual Psychology (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999).
Individual Psychology refers to the uniqueness of the individual (Ferguson, 1984.) The
individual cannot be divided or identified by one facet of the whole. Holism is the belief that a
THE ADULT BULLY 31
person is a culmination of the various growth stages, experiences, and relationships that had a
positive and negative impact on personality. For instance, adults carry all memories, traumas,
and insecurities lived during childhood, and the lessons learned from a childhood experience
may not be logical. Additionally, holism is not just how people have been influenced, but how
they interpret interactions. Adlerians call this personal interpretation the style of life or lifestyle
(Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964; Ferguson, 1984; Mosak & Maniacci, 1999). Lifestyle guides
people through life and hopes, dreams, and decisions are centrally based on the interpretation of
interactions.
Inferiority/Mistaken Movement
Adler found that when children experience inferiority feelings, as adolescents they tend
to focus on perceived flaws and carry that insecurity into adulthood (Ansbacher & Ansbacher,
1964). Often children feel inadequate because they are comparing themselves to the adults in
their lives (Green, 2012. As a result, a person may move through the world feeling unworthy,
undeserving of love, or focus attention on overcoming perceived faults. Adler referred to this
movement as striving. For example, children believe they have discovered what keeps them
from success and attempt to correct this challenge. In some cases, a person may carry this
personal logic to the extreme and overcompensate for perceived failure (Mosak & Maniacci,
1999). Adler called the move from perceived plus to an attempt at perfection superiority (Mosak
& Maniacci, 1999). For example, someone that grew up in poverty may have felt embarrassed
or self-conscious, and as an adult, that person engages in an unhealthy pursuit of material
possessions.
Adler did not believe all overcompensation was negative. Early in his career, Adler
noticed that individuals with a physical disability could adapt and overcome the situation or
THE ADULT BULLY 32
move through the world with a sense of defeat (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964). For example, a
child born without legs could become strong enough, through strength training and
determination, to lift and move the body with his or her arms. On the other hand, a child born
without legs could believe he or she is helpless and depend on family members for care
throughout life (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964). Adler referred to this phenomenon as organ
inferiority and superiority.
According to Mosak and Maniacci (1999), Adler noted that the child “strives to develop,
and it [the child] strives to develop along a line of direction fixed by the goal which it chooses
for itself” (p.34). At one time during his childhood, Adler was perceived as deficient in his math
abilities (compared to his classmates). Because of this perception regarding Adler’s math
abilities, Adler’s father was approached about making Adler a shoemaker’s apprentice. Adler’s
father refused, and Adler worked diligently and became head of his math class (Mosak &
Maniacci, 1999). Childhood inferiorities, and feelings of inadequacy, can be traumatizing long
after the trauma has been removed. Adler referred to these misperceptions as mistaken
movement (Griffith & Powers, 2007). In addition, mistaken beliefs are messages or labels people
receive as children based on interactions with others or significant life events.
Private logic refers to the unique perspective, or set of thoughts, each individual uses
when viewing and navigating his or her way through the world (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999).
When an individual is operating within private logic, his or her reality is distorted (Mosak &
Maniacci, 1999). Adler described the human experience as charted on an axis (Griffith &
Powers, 2007). For example, when people are aware and considerate of others, they are on a
horizontal plane. For instance, an individual would be cognizant of others while attempting to
create the best version of the self. When people think only of personal needs and goals, they are
THE ADULT BULLY 33
on a vertical plane. If an individual is on the vertical plane, striving ambition supersedes the
ability to manage meaningful and lasting relationships. Adler believed individuals continue to
evolve into the latest version of the self. Adler described the creative self of an individual as
both the artist and the masterpiece (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999).
Adler and Dreikurs
Rudolf Dreikurs was born in 1897 to “affluent, assimilated Viennese Jews” (Hoffman,
1994). Dreikurs learned of Adler as a medical student attending The University of Vienna and
became interested in Adler’s work. Dreikurs held Sigmund Freud in high esteem and was
initially put off by the way Adler challenged Freud’s psychoanalytic theories (Hoffman, 1994).
The more Dreikurs learned about Individual Psychology, the more he came to appreciate the
practical applications that ultimately lead to development of four goals of misbehavior
(Dinkmeyer & Sperry, 2000).
Dreikurs worked with Adler in Vienna in the early 1920’s (Hoffman, 1994) and came to
the United States in 1937 (Dinkmeyer & Sperry, 2000). After Adler died in 1937, the popularity
of Individual Psychology began to dissipate in the United States. Dreikurs worked to continue
Adler’s legacy and promote his teachings through lectures and writings (Mosak & Maniacci,
1999). Dreikurs’ ambition was to make Adlerian counseling centers accessible across the country
(Dinkmeyer & Sperry, 2000), and he was considered one of the original founders of the Alfred
Adler Institute of Chicago, later named The Adler School of Professional Psychology, and
currently known as Adler University (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999).
THE ADULT BULLY 34
The Discouraged Child
Adler believed that a problem child felt overlooked or abandoned by society (Ansbacher,
& Ansbacher, 1964). Adler claimed that all behaviors exhibited by problem children were a
direct result of the lack of social interest and inability to accomplish goals (Ansbacher &
Ansbacher, 1964). Dreikurs and Soltz (1964) wrote that children are active onlookers, but they
frequently misinterpret what they observe. Dreikurs famously said, “A misbehaving child is a
discouraged child” (p. 36). Continuing with Alfred Adler’s theory that all behavior is purposeful
and socially driven, Dreikurs developed his model for the various behaviors a child might exhibit
and the motivation for each behavior. Dreikurs’ quote is as relevant now as it was when he
published it in 1964. School age children today are faced with not only bullying, but cyber-
bullying, social media, sexual orientation, gender identity, ADHD, Autism, and anxiety.
Children want desperately to belong. If all goes well and the child maintains his
courage, he presents few problems. He does what the situation requires and gets a
sense of belonging through his usefulness and participation. But if he has become
discouraged, his sense of belonging is restricted. His interest turns from
participation in the group to a desperate attempt at self-realization through others.
All his attention is turned toward this end, be it through others. All his attention is
turned toward this end, be it through pleasant or disturbing behavior, for, one way
or another, he has to find a place. (Dreikurs & Soltz, 1964, p. 58)
When children believe they are unlovable, they become preoccupied and consumed with this
notion. According to Carlson, Watts, and Maniacci (2006), Dreikurs believed that the ability to
care about others, and the desire to contribute, comes from a sense of self-assurance and trust in
others.
THE ADULT BULLY 35
Four Mistaken Goals of Misbehavior
Dreikurs’ four mistaken goals of misbehavior are: attention, power, revenge, and
inadequacy (Dreikurs & Soltz, 1964). Dreikurs stated the first mistaken goal, undue attention, is
a child’s attempt to feel secure and believe that they have a place in the world. The second
mistaken goal is the battle over power. For example, the parent made several attempts to curb
the child’s excessive efforts for attention, and as a result, the child becomes obstinate. If a child
is only after attention, the behavior will stop as soon as the child receives the adult’s focus. If
the child craves power, the behavior will continue after the adult has instructed the child to
discontinue the behavior (Dreikurs & Soltz, 1964). The third mistaken goal is retaliation and
revenge. Dreikurs and Soltz (1964) explained that the child is hurting and attempts to hurt the
adult in an unconscious act of retribution. A child in revenge may feel so ineffectual and
defeated that they believe this aggression is the only way to matter and gain control. The fourth
and final goal is inadequacy (Dreikurs & Soltz, 1964). In this phase the child will refuse to
attempt a task for fear of failure. The belief is that it is better not to try and be considered lazy
than to attempt and face the embarrassment, frustration, and disappointment of defeat. Dreikurs
and Soltz (1964) explained that identifying a child’s mistaken goal explains the intention behind
their actions and allows the adult to reinforce the child’s particular area of lacking confidence.
Natural and Logical Consequences
“Consequences take two forms—natural and logical. A natural consequence occurs
through no active intervention by the adult; one simply allows the natural consequences of
actions to take their course” (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999, p.150). For example, a mother warns
her young child not to run around the edge of the pool. The child continues to run and eventually
slips and skins a knee on the concrete. The mother could have easily provided a consequence for
THE ADULT BULLY 36
disobedience, but the act of being injured (though not seriously) provides a more meaningful
lesson for the child. Adlerians believe discovery of truth, or the ability to learn a lesson, is more
valuable than another person’s explanation.
“Whereas natural consequences teach the natural order of life, logical consequences teach
the social order of life” (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999, p. 150). For those occasions when a natural
consequence does not present itself, parents can create a logical consequence. For instance,
staying out past curfew may result in the inability to go out the rest of the week. Rules
pertaining to students, or laws pertaining to adults, are examples of logical consequences. If
adults rob a bank, they will be arrested. Students may refuse to do homework all year and then
discover they are not permitted to go on the class trip at the end of the year. “Rather than
employing punishment and reward as the prime means of discipline, Adlerians prefer to use
consequences and encouragement” (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999, p.150).
Crucial Cs
Based on Adler and Dreikurs’ theory regarding human needs and purposeful behavior,
Bettner and Lew (1989) provided four necessary requirements to become confident, socially
responsible adults. Bettner and Lew termed these necessary requirements the crucial Cs:
connect, capable, count, and courage (see Figure 2). Bettner and Lew sought to make Adler’s
theories on essential human needs accessible for both adults and children.
Adler “Crucial Cs” Humans Need Perception
Belonging
Connect
Others
I belong
Improving
Capable
To be self-sufficient
I can do it
THE ADULT BULLY 37
Significance
Count
To be needed
I can make a
difference
Encouragement
Courage
To be resilient
I can handle what
comes
Figure 2. Bettner’s crucial Cs tool used to identify and remember the crucial Cs. Reprinted with
permission from Betty Lou Bettner, The Six Essential Pieces of the Parenting Puzzle, p. 3.
Copyright 2014 by Betty Lou Bettner.
The need for love, attention, or interaction is an easily identified trait in small children
and connect refers to Adler’s notion that all humans have a basic need to belong and be social.
(Bettner, 2014). Dreikurs said, “A baby’s first smile is his first outward movement towards
social contact” (Dreikurs & Soltz, 1964, p. 18). Bettner (2014) wrote that connecting with a child
involves availability, hearing what the child has to share, maintaining positive interactions,
remaining open to new ideas, and playing. Kottman stated that through play, children can, “test
limits, gain insight about their own behavior and motivation, explore alternatives, and learn
about consequences” (as cited in Carlson et al., 2006, p. 229).
Capable addresses the child’s need to independently accomplish tasks to feel useful and
build self-esteem. Dreikurs explained that, “Children respond to their various predicaments with
a tremendous desire to gain skills and to overcome the deep sense of their own smallness and
inadequacy” (Dreikurs & Soltz, 1964, p. 36). If a child senses a personal deficiency, physical or
otherwise, he or she will often develop a unique skill to atone for the perceived lacking ability
(Dreikurs & Soltz, 1964). Bettner and Lew (1989) recommended that families hold regular
family meetings to work together to determine household tasks and which family member will be
THE ADULT BULLY 38
responsible for each task. Taking part in household tasks builds the child’s confidence and
autonomy and provides a place for the child within the family system (Bettner & Lew, 1989).
Count refers to the child’s place, identity, or value within the family (Bettner & Lew,
1989). Children believe they count when thoughts and opinions are heard and validated by
peers, family members, and teachers. In a democratic household, every family member votes
and feels represented in the decision-making process. “If everyone is invited and no one is
forced, each person can feel wanted and respected. Each person counts” (Bettner & Lew, 1989
p. 13).
Courage signifies the child’s confidence in abilities and strength to face new challenges
(Bettner, 2014). Bettner suggested encouragement is a crucial element necessary for building
courage within a child. Bettner further explained that parents can increase courage by allowing
children to assist with tasks, observing and commenting on strengths, and helping them correct
mistakes without taking over or shaming. When children have a low level of courage, they are
unwilling to try new things for fear of failure (Kottman, 1999). When children feel confident
and capable, they will be less likely to falter during adversity.
Shifron and Bettner (2003) stated that if one or more of the crucial Cs is missing, children
cannot fully formulate feelings of social interest. That is, if children do not feel cared for, they
do not have the capacity to care for others. Bettner and Lew (1989) explained that children find
a way to develop the first three crucial Cs. For example, if children are not raised in a loving
home, they may seek the acceptance and camaraderie as gang members (Shifron & Bettner,
2003).
Social Interest
THE ADULT BULLY 39
One of the cornerstones of Individual Psychology is social interest. Without a direct
translation for the German word Gemeinschaftsgefühl, community feeling, or social interest, is
the closest representation of the word (Ansbacher, 1992; Mosak & Maniacci, 1999). Adler
believed that an individual has a basic instinctual need for connection and belonging (Ansbacher
& Ansbacher, 1964; Ferguson, 1984; Green, 2012; Mosak & Maniacci, 1999). In order to be
fully self-actualized, humans need to feel they contribute to the world around them. In other
words, a life without goals is a life without significance (Ferguson, 2003). Adler lived during
WWI and witnessed the dangers of complacency and self-protection (Ansbacher & Ansbacher,
1964). In other words, an individual is likely to live a reckless existence without social or
societal accountability. Adler explained that, social interest is a natural instinct that must be
cultivated through prosocial activity and interaction, ideally, during formative years (Ansbacher
& Ansbacher, 1964).
During a time when psychoanalysis was considered fashionable among the wealthy, Adler
proposed that everyone, regardless of position or class, could benefit from therapy (M. Bluvshtein,
personal communication, 2013). That is, Adler suggested that every individual should have access
to psychology, not just the wealthy. Adler was not a gifted writer, but his writings were easy to
understand without the need for a degree in psychology. Adler explained that healthy family
relationships led to engaged students, productive workers, and contented citizens (M. Bluvshtein,
personal communication, 2013). As individuals increase participation in community activities,
they move past the impact on the self and begin to think about the world around them. Adler posed
that, “All of us want to belong, and we establish a final, fictional goal that directs us as to what we
should be or accomplish in order to belong (Adler, 1956)” (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999, p.16).
THE ADULT BULLY 40
According to Hale (1999), Adler indirectly suggested that there are eight levels of social interest:
mother-child dyad, family, community, society, humanity, planetary, cosmos, and God.
Mother-child dyad. Hale (1999) explained that in ideal circumstances, the mother
initially provides for the child’s every physical and emotional need. During this phase, the infant
has the first socializing experience through the process of making requests (i.e., crying) and
having those needs met (e.g., feeding, changing, or holding). The act of responding to mother
(e.g., smiling or comforted when held) suggests that mother-child bonding is the beginning of
social interest for the infant. Children slowly begin to form an identity, and although they are
unable to make an impact on the larger community or world, they had the first exposure to
existence beyond the self (Hale, 1999).
Family. In the second stage, the child develops awareness of other family members and
begins to form relationships with them (Hale, 1999). Initially, the first few relationships are
typically formed within the nuclear family and eventually branch out to extended family
members. Hale further explained that attachment has been established and the child feels
confident enough to briefly explore before returning to the safety of the family.
Community. According to Hale (1999), during stage three, children form friendships
with peers at school or through community activities. There is a period during adolescence
where social interest development is stunted, and young people think primarily of the self (Hale,
1999). Eventually, individuals go to work and establish a broader understanding of how
community prosperity benefits individuals. The community stage leads to thinking about an
individual’s neighborhood and the surrounding communities as well (Hale, 1999).
Society. During this stage, Hale (1999) wrote that individuals move past their personal
goals and can see the importance of maintaining a healthy societal framework. This stage brings
THE ADULT BULLY 41
self-awareness and a sense of social responsibility. For example, a college student receives a
tuition scholarship, becomes established as a working adult, and then contributes to scholarship
funds.
Humanity. Much like the society stage, individuals come to terms with how small they
are in relationship to all of humankind. This stage could be described as a hyperawareness of the
vast similarities in the human experience (Hale, 1999). Hale suggested that no human is immune
to death, and a single person cannot prevent war or natural disasters. Hale believed that this
stage can be overwhelming as individuals may become burdened by the concerns of the world.
Planetary. Level six, according to Hale (1999), is an experience of appreciation and awe
for nature and animal life. In this stage, individuals seek to separate from material desire and
dependence on technology. Individuals in the planetary stage of social interest will attempt to
reduce their carbon footprint and may try to convince others to do the same.
The cosmos. Hale (1999) explained that stage seven involves a curiosity about the
universe and what lies beyond one’s planet. This stage involves asking questions about life on
other planets and the meaning of human life on Earth. Hale said there is no specific behavior
that accompanies the cosmos stage. Instead, the cosmos stage is a contemplative style of
movement.
God/spirituality. Hale (1999) wrote that the quest for God is the “pinnacle of human
striving for perfection and completion, the ultimate teleological goal” (p. 69). Though Adler
discussed God in his writings, he did not mention this final stage of social interest. Hale argued
that when Adler mentioned God, he was addressing the apex of human social interest behavior.
For non-Christians, this level could be described as a pursuit of equality, peace, and love.
THE ADULT BULLY 42
Optimism/encouragement. Adler’s theories include positive and encouraging messages.
For instance, Adler’s principle of acting as if suggests that individuals can accomplish goals by
behaving as though they have already achieved those goals (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999). For
example, a person wanting to be more successful in business would begin by adopting the
behaviors of a successful CEO and arrive early, wear suits, and speak clearly and confidently.
Adler believed in subjective future orientation more than historical determinism, which is to say
your past does not necessarily dictate your future (Ferguson, 2003).
Life Tasks
Adler posited that humans are connected by the human experience and at their best when
part of a collective (as cited in Green, 2012). Also, Adler suggested that individuals are
healthiest and content when they are contributing members of society (as cited in Green, 2012).
That is, all individuals must determine how they fit into society. For example, a hermit may live
on the outskirts of town; however, that person draws a purpose (or identity) from the avoidant
relationship with other townspeople (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999; Pancner, 1978).
According to Mosak and Maniacci (1999), Adler’s original three life tasks are work,
social relations, and sex. Ansbacher and Ansbacher (1964) similarly described “three social ties
or problems of human cooperation” and “problems of occupation, social relations in general, and
love and marriage” (p. 131). Ferguson (2003) interpreted the life tasks as survival through
occupation, social positioning and cooperation, and relationships and procreation. In later
writings, Adler added the tasks of self and spirituality (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999).
Work. The work task, in basic form, is working to earn money to purchase goods and
services; however, the work task has the potential to offer more than the ability to survive in
society (Green, 2012). For example, an individual may be viewed as less successful working a
THE ADULT BULLY 43
part-time job versus having a full-time, established career. Additionally, differences exist in the
perception of those who attend college, those who attend trade school, or those who do not finish
high school. According to Green (2012), Adler described six subcategories within the work
task: choice of profession, career preparation, job contentment, workplace mentors, time off, and
professional growth. The individual has the opportunity to build affluence, serve others directly
or indirectly, solve dilemmas relating to education or the ecosystem, and possibly have an impact
on future generations (Mosak & Maniacci, 1999).
Social. The social task speaks to an individual’s support system as well as a source of
autonomy. According to Dreikurs, there are two subcategories within the social task, belonging
and transactions (as cited in Mosak & Maniacci, 1999). As previously stated, Adler believed
that humans have a great need for belonging (Green, 2012). Mosak and Maniacci (1999)
suggested individuals learn to fit into society as children, and what is learned in childhood often
becomes the way individuals interact with others in adulthood. A strong sense of belonging
depends upon the quality of the social circle. Hartshorne (1991) believed that health of the social
task could be detected by the presence of certain characteristics within that person’s social circle.
Those characteristics include the ability to make and keep friends, establish trust and respect
within the relationships, and engage with a variety of diverse backgrounds and personalities
(Green, 2012). Furthermore, individuals should be able to understand the concept of a world
outside of the self and show interest in others or society at large. The second subcategory of the
social task is transactions. Transactions for ancient humans occurred when they hunted in packs
for survival, transactions for modern people would include sharing stories and looking to others
for support, understanding, and validation. Transactions (or work) must be divided between
many individuals for efficiency and fairness (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964). Negotiation and
THE ADULT BULLY 44
collaboration are essential to developing a community system and ensuring survival (Mosak &
Maniacci, 1999).
Love. The love task refers to the continuation of the human race through procreation and
the societal expectation of marriage and monogamy (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964). It could be
argued that intimate partnerships are the strongest indicators of the individual’s ability to
empathize and work collectively.
Self. The self task was not one of the original tasks but was added later based of some of
Adler’s unfinished writings (Green, 2012). Mosak and Dreikurs found that this stage is about
self-actualization, thoughts of mortality, and a search for the purpose of life (Mosak & Maniacci,
1999). This task may also include self-evaluation of personal successes and struggles (Green,
2012).
Spiritual. The spiritual task involves the quest for God or a high power. Adler wrote
that the quest for God is the definitive attempt to strive for perfection (as cited in Hale, 1999).
Hale explained that atheists or agnostics view a higher power as the pursuit of “such ultimate
teleological goals as justice, peace, love, or secular humanism (p.70).
Discussion
There are many different types of bullying activity, and bullying has an impact on the
victim and the perpetrator. For instance, pure bully perpetrators are likely to continue the pattern
of bullying and narcissism unless the behavior is addressed (Copeland et al., 2013). The pure
bully has not experienced the victim role; therefore, the pure bully cannot empathize with the
victim.
Bully-victims take on the role of aggressor in an attempt to reclaim power (Kokkinos &
Panayiotou, 2004). This behavior can perpetuate a bullying hierarchy; however, with experience
THE ADULT BULLY 45
as the injured party, the bully-victim is aware of the pain they cause and have a dilemma of
conscience. Bully-victims are more likely to bring weapons to school than their peers
(Brockenbrough et al. 2002). Furthermore, a childhood bully is likely to continue bullying
behavior in adulthood. If the behavior is not addressed and corrected in youth, the individual
may not be aware of the behavior or of the impact of behavior on others. Bullying behavior can
be categorized as physical, verbal, social/relational, cyberbullying, or dating abuse and has an
impact on approximately 3 out of 4 students (Ambassadors 4 Kids Club, n.d., Respect, n.d.).
Those who are childhood bullies, or bully-victims, are more likely to have difficulties
with career, relationships, drugs and/or the law in young adulthood (Wolke et al., 2013). Several
DSM – 5 diagnoses (American Psychiatric Association, 2013) align with childhood and adult
bullies (e.g., antisocial personality disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and narcissism). The
principles of Adlerian Psychology provide building blocks to encourage and motivate those that
may be operating within negative private logic. Increasing self-esteem through social interest
projects allows the discouraged individual to find purpose through positive deeds rather than
acting out. Just as teachers play an active role in obstructing bullying in schools (Olweus, 2003),
supervisors abolish bullying by monitoring staff interaction, presenting a stance of zero
tolerance, and creating opportunities to build an atmosphere of community within the workplace.
When adults are able to redirect and find the answers to the three life tasks, they feel less
compelled to hurt others and develop an interest in the people around them (Mosak & Maniacci,
1999).
Implications for Practice
Bullying is a growing problem and new forms of bullying are adapting with social trends
and technological advancements (Smith et al., 2002). For the purpose of future studies, and in
THE ADULT BULLY 46
order to hold perpetrators accountable, clear and unified definitions of bullying behaviors and
involved parties must be established (Sercombe & Donnelly, 2013).
Building Community Feeling and Empathy
Casey, Storer, and Herrenkohl (2017) wrote that school bullying prevention programs
often focus on the bystander component. The bystander component focuses on the importance of
witnesses chiming in, aiding targets, or notifying adults of bullying behavior. It stands to reason
that a workplace could adopt the same type of Good Samaritan policy to encourage
accountability.
Riebel (2017) wrote that Jon Rema created the Compassion Games in 2012 to facilitate
goodwill within the world. The California Institution for Women (CIW) was one of over 100
groups to participate in the Compassion Games and recorded over 4,500 acts of kindness during
the eleven-day challenge. Prison inmates made items to donate to cancer patients, veterans, and
the homeless. Inmates acknowledged small acts of kindness like helping each other clean or
provide encouragement. The Compassion Games program allowed those with a tough exterior to
temporarily let down their guard to achieve a goal. During the Compassion Games, inmates did
not engage in violent acts. One inmate, Tikvah, was quoted as saying, “Mostly, there has been a
shift in awareness of how compassion and acts of kindness can change attitudes and our living
environment” (para. 10). If Compassion Games were successful with incarcerated people, a
similar program may boost fellowship and camaraderie among those in a workplace
environment.
Jaouad (2018) reported on a work program that allowed inmates to provide pastoral care
to fellow inmates suffering from terminal illnesses and Alzheimer’s disease. The California
Medical Facility hosts one of the few licensed hospice divisions in United States penitentiaries.
THE ADULT BULLY 47
Participants in the hospice program tend to patients’ daily needs and remain with patients in their
last hours. Jaouad stated that caring for the dying offers a sense of reciprocity or redemption.
The hospice program has been so impactful that recidivism rates drop from 25% to 1.2% for
participating inmates. When referring to his past as an inmate, Murillo stated,
It felt better to be viewed as an aggressive individual who was tough, as opposed to a kid
who had shame for getting hit at home, for not getting fed, for living in a place that he
wasn’t wanted. It was much easier for me to hang around with people who accepted me
for being violent. (as cited in Jaouad, 2018, para.15)
Murillo was further quoted and said,
I’m just returning something I didn’t get as a kid. All I wanted was kindness and to be
held as a boy. Now I get to do that for somebody else. There’s also the regret of not being
able to do that for my victims, for the people in my community who I hurt. (as cited in
Jaouad, 2018, para. 17)
Corporate entities may not be in a position to duplicate hospice care; however, smaller
community service projects could be considered. For example, a company organized volunteer
day may provide workplace bullies a sense of accomplishment and purpose. Incorporating
corporate values such as gratitude and kindness may encourage employees to get to know their
coworkers and view them in a new light.
Screenings and Interventions
Maxfield (2014) recommended that employers take responsibility for every instance of
workplace bullying. Wiedmer (2011) explained that employer’s actions should include (a) a
company-wide guideline or policy regarding workplace bullying, (b) address every reported
incident, and (c) provide employees with all the necessary tools to address bullying.
THE ADULT BULLY 48
Sourander et al. (2007) made a recommendation for mental health intercession and anti-
bullying programs within the school system. Sourander et al. (2007) further advocated for
psychological testing of all students, resources permitting, especially those with markers for
potential bullies, victims, or bully-victims. This logic could be applied to the workplace as well.
Many occupations have employees take exams to measure aptitude during the hiring process.
Mental health screenings may identify employees that need additional support from human
resources, the company generalist, or an offsite therapist. Magnuson and Norem (2009)
suggested the use of a consultant to examine workplace culture and follow up with suggested
changes in the workplace routine.
Counselors may assist clients in building empathy, self-regulation, and coping skills for
anger management. A clinician may seek to understand the client’s private logic and the
meaning behind the client’s behaviors. Clients referred to therapy for bullying behaviors may be
best aided by learning to serve others, and it may be helpful for the clinician to have a list of
available community volunteer opportunities. The client’s homework may include volunteering
or completing one kind deed each day and reporting on the response and any resulting feelings or
reflections after completing the deed. Raising this awareness could foster greater success in the
completion of life tasks.
Recommendations for Future Research
Anti-social personality disorder, conduct disorder, and narcissism often correlate with
bullying, and bullies are often easily frustrated and have difficulty interpreting social cues from
others (Smokowski & Kopasz, 2005). Researchers could investigate the correlation between
bullying and spectrum disorders that are similarly associated with social interaction difficulties.
It is possible that frustration induced by an inability to read people or understand the nuances of
THE ADULT BULLY 49
social cues could potentially qualify as a special need if it is causing the client to act out in
violence. Bullying could potentially be considered a special need and lead to services to help
develop new coping skills.
Research on workplace bullying was more prevalent for certain occupations such as
higher education, nursing, and culinary (Lovell & Lee, 2011). Researchers could further
examine if the aforementioned occupations are more prone to bullying or more likely to report
bullying. The study could establish which careers are most prone to bullying behaviors.
THE ADULT BULLY 50
Conclusion
Bullying behaviors, whether blatant or covert, can make workspace unbearable for targets
and witnesses. It is clear that without effective intervention, bullying, in childhood or adulthood,
can continue for months or years. The act of bullying has a negative and continual impact on the
lives of both targets and perpetrators. While bullying is typically a result of unfortunate
childhood events and mistaken beliefs, it is never too late to correct the behavior. Social interest
can be called upon to influence observers of bullying to intervene or aid the bully in developing
empathy. Families, schools, workplaces, and communities must understand the needs of
bullying victims and perpetrators and actively work to stop bullying. Creating an environment
that fosters a sense of belonging will build autonomy and move individuals from roles of
bystanders to caring and responsible advocates within a community.
THE ADULT BULLY 51
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