Justin Dehmer 1-Pitch Warrior – Stories of a Streak: Lessons in Leadership1-Pitch Warrior, LLCJustin Dehmer – Peak Performance Coach214 Balfour Drive Norwalk, Iowa 50211Cell (515) 371-3059 Email: coachd@1pitchwarrior.com

“The toughest thing to do, is the thing you know you need to do, when you don’t feel like doing it.” – Coach Justin Dehmer

During the 2012 season I had a parent call me to discuss playing time. They wanted to know why their son was not in the starting line-up. I told her that I do not discuss playing time with parents. That was my policy. She wanted more than that and I wasn’t going to give her any more than my canned response that the coaches make those decisions because we are at practice everyday and are at all the games end of story. She felt differently.

She proceeded to not only tell me what she felt about my coaching but also how she felt about my family, my marriage, and anything else in between. I told her that this conversation was over and I hung up. She immediately called back and left what was the worst, most vulgar voicemail I have ever received to this day. She attacked me as a coach, me as a person, and went somewhere I feel no parent should ever go, to a coach’s family. I had dealt with unruly parents before so this was not the first time. Once that line was crossed my blood pressure went way up! I was fired up and wanted to let her have it. I was not happy about the situation. Usually you take parent confrontation with a grain of salt as a part of the job. Not your favorite part of the job but part you have to be prepared for. Once things escalated to this level I had to let my athletic director know and let him listen to the message she left for me. He agreed that was the worst message he had ever heard.

As much as I wanted to retaliate and tell her exactly how I felt about her I didn’t. I had to force myself to act differently than how I felt. The only way to take the high road in these cases is to act different than how you feel because every part of my being wanted to let her have it. When attacked we tend to try to defend ourselves or place blame. I wanted to defend myself but knew that would not lead anywhere positive so I had to move forward without saying a word to her. I did not let the emotions of the situation let me react in a way that was counterproductive for my program, my players, or myself. I responded to the situation instead with the skill I had preached to my own players to not ride the waves of emotions and slow things down in times of frustration. This required I act like a professional even when I didn’t want to be one or feel like it.

This all transpired minutes before I got to practice on the car ride in. So I will be seeing her son in less than 10 minutes. Not only do I have to act differently toward her I also need to make sure this doesn’t affect the way I treat her son in a negative way because I am upset at his mom. I enjoyed having her son on the team and thought he was a good kid. I didn’t want his mom’s opinions of me to affect the way I treated him. I think many coaches after feeling the pressure from parents change their minds and sway a bit because they want to avoid future confrontations. I can assure you that I stayed level headed about the entire thing and no one on the team ever knew this situation even occurred except my coaches and AD.

Coaches/Players – there will be many situations that arise this season and in the season of life that make you feel one way but taking the proper action and making sure you don’t make the situation a bigger one will require you to force yourself to act differently that how you feel.

ACT DIFFERENT THAN YOU FEEL