Safe Touch, Unsafe Touch

Janice Masokas, BA Guardian Angel Community Services

24-Hour Hotline 815-730-8984

Safe touch is important!

•happy • comfortable • loved •proud

Safe touches make us feel:

Some touches makes us feel:

kicks, punches, pushes or shoves touches to the private area touches that make us uncomfortable

sad scared

angry mixed-up

Let’s start our story!

Mia woke up and rubbed her eyes. Where was

her bear Tikki? Then she remembered. She ran to the playroom. Tikki was still upside down in the corner. Mia picked her up gently. “It’s my fault. He hurt you because he was mad at me.” Tikki’s dark eyes looked up at her. “He hurt me too. He make me promise to keep it a secret.

Mia had tried to tell, without breaking her promise, but couldn’t make Mom understand. She felt Mia’s forehead. “Are you feeling sick?” Mia didn’t know how to answer. “Is it in your head or in your tummy?” “All over,” Mia answered. Mom gave Mia a hug. “That’s why you’ve been so quiet lately. Go and lie down. I’ll bring you something to help you feel better.” Curled up in bed, Mia cuddled Tikki until Mom brought a nice, cool drink. It didn’t help what was really wrong, but it felt good to know her Mom cared.

Mia remembered that at first, he was so nice. He listened to everything she said. He made her laugh a lot. She told him about her best friend, Tikki, and the games they liked to play. He asked to meet her. Mom said it was okay. She showed him her playroom. He met Tikki. The three of them played one of her favorite games. Mia was glad he played games with her when he came. One day he said he knew a special game, a secret game. Because it was secret, he would show it to her only if she promised never to tell anyone.

“Not even Tikki?” Mia asked.

“Not even Tikki,” he replied. Mia frowned. “I can’t. I never keep secrets from her.” “Okay,” he said. “You can tell Tikki, but nobody else.” That made Mia happy, so she promised. Mia didn’t like the game. She only played because she wanted him to be her friend. Before he left, he reminded her about her promise.

The next time, he brought a puzzle game. Mia was so excited she hopped from one foot to another. “Can we go play with Tikki, please, please mom?” Mom smiled. “Okay, but remember, it’s not long until bedtime.” She left to finish some work, and they went to the playroom. Mia liked the puzzle game very much, but after a while, he wanted to play the secret game. Mia didn’t. “Aren’t we friends?” he asked. “Friends do things for each other, don’t they? I brought you a present. Won’t you do something for me?” Mia was very mixed up. She wanted to be his friend. His present made her happy. The secret game made him happy, but it hurt her. Even though it didn’t seem right, she said, “Okay.”

It felt worse than ever. Hugging Tikki tightly, she told him to stop. He said he was sorry. He promised to be more careful. Mia shook her head no. Without looking up, she moved away. He moved toward her. “Okay we can play the puzzle game for awhile if you like.” Mia pushed her face against Tikki’s. “No. Go away.” She felt his hand on her arm. He told her to put Tikki down. He sounded angry.

Mia couldn’t stop crying. He was about to say something else, when they heard footsteps.

Mia hugged Tikki harder. Grabbing Tikki, he threw her into the corner. Tikki landed on her head. Mia started crying. She said she would tell her mom. “You promised,” he reminded her. Bad things happen when someone breaks a promise.”

He let her go and quickly got up. When Mom came in, he said Mia had bumped her knee while they were playing. Mia was too afraid to say what really happened. Mom checked her knee. It seemed fine. “It’s getting late, Mia,” Mom said. “Bedtime, remember?” She tucked Mia in, turned out the lights, and closed the door. Mia heard them talking. She crept out of bed to listen. She couldn’t tell what they were saying. She wanted to run out, hug her mom and feel safe in her arms. She couldn’t. He was out there. She was afraid he might come back in.

Mia wondered if she would ever feel safe again. She didn’t remember falling asleep by the door. Her mom found her, picked her up, and put her back to bed. Now sitting in the playroom, with Tikki, Mia said, “I don’t want him to come back. How can I tell? Bad things will happen if I do. You’re lucky, Tikki. He didn’t make you promise.” Suddenly, Mia had an idea. She jumped up and ran to her room to get dressed. “You can help me, okay, Tikki?”

Mia and Tikki flew out the door, tumbled down the stairs and skidded into the kitchen. Mom stopped what she was doing. She leaned down and gave them both a big hug. “How are my two girls this morning?” she asked. “I’ve been a bit worried about you, Mia. Is everything okay?” That was what Mia needed to hear. She held Tikki up to Mom’s ear. “Mom there is something Tikki has to tell you.”

Mom leaned in even closer. “Okay, Tikki,” she said, “I’m listening.” The whisper sounded like Mia’s voice, but Mom knew Tikki needed Mia’s

help to talk. Tikki, who hadn’t made any promises, told Mom all about the secret game

that made Mia feel so bad. When Tikki was finished telling, Mia pulled her close, hugged her as hard as she could, and said, “We did it Tikki.

We did it!”

• Safe secrets do not hurt anybody.

• Safe secrets do not make people feel bad.

• Safe secrets are fun!

Safe Secrets

secret hand-shakes surprise

parties

“special day” gifts

Unsafe Secrets • Unsafe secrets hurt people.

• Unsafe secrets make people feel bad.

• If a person says to keep a secret about an unsafe look or touch: DO NOT DO IT!

Unsafe people can be tricky. They may say things like:

• Everyone does this. It is okay.

• If you tell, you will get in trouble!

• I will not like you if you tell.

• If you tell, your pet will get hurt.

• I will give you a toy to keep our secret.

• You liked it. You wanted me to do it.

• Your parents will be angry with you.

Unsafe People

The parts of our bodies covered by our swimsuits are called our private parts.

But what about…?

these situations?

Trusted Adults Your “go to” person!

You can talk to your trusted adult when you are happy, sad, scared, or uncomfortable.

For example,

• parent

• grandparent

• teacher

• principal

What Do You Do?

TELL your trusted adult. If you need to, tell more than one trusted adult. Remember: UNSAFE TOUCHES ARE NEVER YOUR FAULT. You have done nothing wrong!

Speak Up! It is okay to say “NO!”

if an unsafe or look ever happens to you.

No!

Stop it!

I do not like that!

I am going to tell!

KIDS CAN SAY NO!!

What could you do if you feel

uncomfortable giving someone a

kiss hello or goodbye?

Your friend went to someone’s house

without his parents permission. While

there an older person touched him in this

unsafe way. He says it is his fault for disobeying.

A grown up friend of your family

promises you a special gift if you

will touch him/her in this unsafe way.

24-Hour Hotline:

815-730-8984

Thank you! Together we can

work

…to help kids stay safe!