sample copy. not for distribution.iii beyond the veil the journey of an indian girl siddhi palande...

Sample Copy. Not For Distribution.

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Beyond The Veil


ii

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Printed in India


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Beyond The Veil

The Journey of An Indian Girl

Siddhi Palande

(Prasiddhi)

EDUCREATION PUBLISHING (Since 2011)

www.educreation.in


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Writer’s Note

Moral police might find this novella against their norms

but for a pious soul, who knows the meaning of “being,”

has understanding of spirituality, this is a beautiful love

story. It will redefine the word „soul mate‟

Emancipation of soul may sound like a catch phrase

these days but it holds the understanding of universe

within itself. If you understand it, you not only liberate

your being but many troubled souls will find liberation

through you. I have introduced one such soul in this

novella.

Janhvi will help Ram meet his destiny. It is Divine,

love is. Despite a disrupted life both will find eternity of

peace like you have never seen before.

This book is based on a true incident albeit the

characters have been fictionalized.

o


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Acknowledgment

I took it to heart to write down this novella solely to

forget the grief my father‟s death had caused. I had

delivered a beautiful baby girl and only a few days later

my father's soul found solace in a place far serene. And I

guess his eternal being seems to have guided me to pen

this novel. It was a painstaking task, especially if you

have a month old baby to look after and if your previous

novel writing attempts have turned futile.

I thank my father, Ramesh Palande, because he has

always believed in my abilities and encouraged me

throughout my life. My mother, Pushpalata Palande, has

been my backbone. If it were not for her I wouldn‟t have

completed this novel. My brother, Omkar Palande, who

showed faith in me despite our bitter-sweet quarrels and

also because he has stood solid like a rock for my family

after the tragedy hit us. And I can‟t thank God enough

for bestowing upon me a supporting husband, Prafull

Baing (Patil), who invested in my work despite not

having read the novel. Lastly, I thank my loving family,

Palande and Baing (Patil), this wouldn‟t have been

possible if they hadn‟t motivated me with every article

that I wrote.

Forever and always I will be thankful to my

adorable munchkin Rudrani for having beared me and

my erratic writing schedules.


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PS: My political thoughts are diverse from that of

my father. His political views were fairly and honestly

his.

o


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“I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to

men. They are far superior and always have been.

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If

you give her sperm, she will give you a baby. If you give

her a house, she will give you a home. If you give her

groceries, she will give you a meal. If you give her a

smile, she will give you her heart. She multiplies and

enlarges what is given to her.”

-William Golding


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Prologue

October, 1998

The October heat was too much to bear. Janhvi sat on her

grandfather‟s lap in the veranda of her ancestral house

basking in the sunny afternoon. Looking up at the sky

trying to make out the shape the passing clouds carved,

she asked her Pappi, dazed and dreamy, “What does

Janhvi mean, Pappi?”

“Why do you ask, beta?”

“My peers tease me that I do not know the meaning

of my name,” said the 8-year-old.

“Your name is very auspicious, Janu. It means our

sacred river Ganga. She is the one who purifies our

souls.”

“But Pappi, Miss Karnad told me that water

pollution is killing Ganga. It‟s poisonous and dirty.”

“Indeed, it is so. She is repenting for our sins, my

child. She keeps taking in all the dirt we throw at her,

just like a mother would. It is, therefore, our duty not to

malign her.”

“Was Ganga ever married, Pappi?

“Yes, she was…but it never worked out. She left for

the better.”

“Better of who?”

“Of the world and the society.”


x

“Will I ever get to live like Ganga.”

“Perhaps you will. You will only have to learn to

make your own choices.”

o


Siddhi Palande (Prasiddhi)

1

W 15 October, 2014

At age 24, I realize how difficult it can be to make

those choices Pappi had cited when I was eight. I have

been bugged by my parents to find a match for myself.

But it won‟t be my choice. You see I live in India, the

country of age old traditions and customs, where arrange

marriage is revered and where we, independent and

rational thinking women, do not get to choose our mate.

Pre-marital sex is a taboo and so is extra-marital affair.

We are shamed and laughed at if a widow remarries or

doesn‟t give a f**k about societal norms. Sita, Savitri,

Durga, Kali, Saraswati are worshipped but many of us

are burnt alive for dowry. We have no qualms if Kalpana

Chawla or Sunita Williams travels to space, but

travelling alone at midnight is restricted.

Welcome to my world, I live in a double standard

society.

You might think I am venting my anger or showing

off my oh-so-feminist side, „naari mukti morcha,‟ you

say? But no, this just isn‟t about us, women. It is about

multiple things. We are sold every day, burnt every day,

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Beyond The Veil

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our aspirations are crushed and we are forced to thrive on

the orders of our elders who fail to understand that

perhaps if we change the course of our actions, we can

bring about major changes in the society. You see, I do

not have problem with the society I live in, I have fairly

adapted myself to it, but I sure do have a problem with

its thinking.

Today is perhaps the only day when I will get to say

these things. Because if by chance my fate decides to do

this somersault I might be entrapped in a life-long mess

called „marriage.‟ There are people waiting outside to

judge me. They will ask me to sing, to eat, to smile, to

laugh and walk just to ensure that I am not a defective

piece. Yes, just so that they know that Janhvi Desai, MA,

LLB, isn‟t crippled or perhaps, a mutant. I am not sure if

they will ever know that I am indeed a mutant, well, deep

within, but they can certify that everything else works

just fine with me.

Having done my pleats I walk up to the mirror and

look at my image. No jeans or messy bun, I am decked

up in a zari embroidered red and green bandhini saree,

bejeweled enough to make your eyes sparkle. So very

like a….

“My Princess,” says Mom as she looks on from the

doorway of my room.

“No aama, I look like a Christmas tree,” now that‟s

what I was thinking before my mom interrupted my

thoughts.

“Oh, shut up.” She dismisses my comment with her

signature wave. “They are waiting for you.” She

continues. “Make sure you behave yourself. Even when



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you are alone with Ram. And try your best to woo this

guy. He is a catch!”

“Is he?” I ask.

“Sure. An engineer with TCS. He has fair chances

of flying abroad. Think of the bright future you will

have. Think of the brighter future you can give your

children.”

“Aama, puhlease! I haven‟t even met him yet and

you want me to woo him and envision our children.

What am I? A time traveller?”

“Be done with your brashness, I am warning you,

Janhvi! Be a nice girl. You have to stand up to the

reputation of your family. Think how ashamed your

father will be, the Gurukant Desai. Do you want to spoil

our name in the society?”

What do you say to this? I don‟t know really. I am

forced to do as told.

o


Beyond The Veil

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W 25 October, 2014

You would have been thinking, whatever happened

after that age-old lecture my Mom gave? Was Janhvi

Desai, daughter of Gurukant Desai, able to reject the

match? Certainly not. Which girl out there has won the

fight against her parents? Which girl out there has won

her fight against society? We have been trampled for

ages, made to do society‟s bidding, how then can a law

graduate escape from the societal pressure?

I did meet Ram that day. He seemed like a pleasant

guy. Yes, he was a total marriage material and agreed to

my conditions. Of course, I put in conditions that my

parents are unaware of. Ram was gracious enough to

hide the same from our parents. Once we came out of my

den, he declared, much like my knight in shining armour,

that he has no issues with me being a working woman.

An eerie hush fell in the room. Faces of my in-laws,

ahem, would-be in-laws, and that of my parents were

forlorn. Disappointment trickled from their face. My

heart did a little victory dance as I saw them. I wanted to

hug Ram then and there but the society!

Chapter 2



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Damn with it.

So in the next round of meetings it was declared

that I and Ram will be engaged in the month of

December and engagement will be followed by wedding.

Which means, we have no time for courting. But who

cares. I and Ram have become fast friends and I truly

like him. We often talk on Whatsapp, Facebook and

Skype whenever we have time. We understand the

importance of giving space to each other and Ram says

that we ought not to tell our private matters to our

family. What happens between us stays between us. I am

not sure about his feelings for me, I really can‟t decipher

them. He is friendly. Period. I can‟t see a trace of desire

or love when he looks at me. It hurts sometimes but

arrange marriage it is, what can I expect. Things will fall

in place I feel. I dare not rush. So far this chat-phase has

been enticing enough and I hope the next phase is

equally delightful.

Meanwhile, I have been wrapping up my stuff. I

will be shifting base to Mumbai soon. The city is packed

with opportunities that Baroda fails to give. It is,

therefore, I have been applying to various law firms. You

see I simply graduated from law college and landed this

match. I was given no time to think or earn. Earning is a

taboo, independence is a taboo. I guess, being a girl in

this society is equally a taboo. Anyways, my deal with

Ram is final. In fact, he was the one who advised that I

start applying for an internship or trainee program

available in a Mumbai based law firm. It is rather

difficult to find something suitable online but technology

has made matters simple. Why, just this morning I gave

an interview with Innoves Law, I am not sure if it is


Beyond The Veil

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closer to where I shall be staying but Ram says it‟s in

suburbs and that I should probably try to find something

suitable in SoBo. Whatever does that mean?

Anyway, I am truly excited for my life ahead. Who

doesn‟t wish to marry a mature guy who is willing to

take you as you are. Ram doesn‟t want me to change a

thing about myself. Guess what? He is okay if I wear

jeans and tees instead of Punjabi suits and sarees. Good

Lord bless him! I would have been devastated if I was

forced to give up my avatar. It‟s just so not done. I

wonder how hundreds of girls out there survive these

maniacal practises.

Is kitchen our only world? Do we not have any right

to live? Why then did my Pappi teach me about making

choices? Was Ganga, the only lady to have made a sane

choice? Walking out on marriage is insane? Or is it only

in stories do we find freedom?

o



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W 1 November, 2014

I am overwhelmed. I am totally overwhelmed with

emotions. As the days turn into nights and nights into

days, my anxiety increases. Mom has been giving me

lessons on being a good wife. So far I have been a brat of

a kid but now, things will change, she says. I will have to

do my husband‟s bidding.

I see a pattern here, do you?

Well, forget it.

Earlier today, Ram gave me a run through of his

schedule in Mumbai. He works in Bandra, he says. It‟s

sort of in suburb but it is “much classier.” That‟s what he

said. He said, I could find a law firm in Bandra and that

will make commuting easier for me as I can leave along

with him. He usually leaves for office at 8:00 am from

Churchgate. He takes a Mumbai local fast and alights at

Bandra, exactly an hour later. But he doesn‟t leave

office early. He says he likes to work late. He often goes

out with his friends.

“The nightlife in Mumbai is rocking,” he told me.

“Of course, our parents don‟t have to know that clubbing

Chapter 3


Beyond The Veil

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is a part of our social life. We can keep it undercovers. I

have been doing that ever since I was in Pune for my

education.” When I told him I have never been to a club,

he wasn‟t really shocked. He told me, “our system is to

be blamed.” We argued for over an hour that having a

nightlife doesn‟t necessarily mean we are forward

thinking individuals.

Ram thinks having a nightlife is equivalent to

nirvana. I don‟t think so. Skimpy skirts and tees, trance

music, booze and drugs may give you high, it may be

entertaining but it certainly isn‟t nirvana. It‟s one‟s way

of life. Bachelors living in metropolitans think of it as

nirvana as it is their sole solace to socialize. We have

burdened ourselves with stress, the work keeps on piling

and it is difficult enough to lift our head from the heap of

mess surrounding our desks. Well, not that I have

experienced it but the scenario is no different from my

description. In short, life in metros is hectic.

Coming back to present day, Ram told me he has

been dedicating a lot of his time to turn his bachelor pad

into a house fit for couples. He has planned to tear down

the wallpapers and redo the walls. Do some gardening in

balcony. The house is quite spacious compared to the

common Mumbai standards. It is a two bedroom-hall-

kitchen flat in a “posh” SoBo vicinity called Colaba. Its

proximity to the sea, Gateway Of India, Causeway and

other such locations makes it a catch, according to Ram.

Its spread over 1200 square feet and every room has a

balcony. Its extremely scenic. I saw it on Skype. Ram

gave me a detour.



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I guess, I am falling in love with the city already. And

my house too. And somewhat Ram too…

o


Beyond The Veil

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W 19 November, 2014

I can‟t grasp what is going on around me. Pops has

been busy gathering money for my wedding. He says we

ought to give the groom‟s family handsome gifts. Our

reputation should not be hampered. We must live upto

our ancestral repute. He means that he is collating money

for my dowry but the word is abandoned in India. Taking

dowry is a punishable offense and yet gifts become an

important part of every marriage. It is like we are sold

but here the sellers have to pay the price for having given

birth to a daughter. This system bugs me every single

minute. But am I able to shit on it? No. I can‟t mess with

it no matter how shitty the situation gets.

Anyway, so Pops told Mom that he would be

withdrawing from his FDs and he has saved up some in

the last sales season. (My father is a partner in our

ancestral saree business, you see.) So my jewelries can

be made out of that money. However, we would need to

buy at least 20 odd sets of necklace for my in-laws‟

family. It will include all the maternal and paternal

relatives of Ram.

Chapter 4



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