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Sample Script for a Connecting Conversation

Set-up

Wherever you are gathering, be sure seating is comfortable and everyone can see everyone else.

Provide refreshments

Have text handouts, with the Directions for Discussions (attached here on page 3), readily available

Provide name tags for everyone

For the Facilitator

Below you will find both a bulleted description of the key points for each part of the Conversation in addition to a script that covers those bullets. Feel free to use whichever is more comfortable for you. You may want to mark with a highlighter those words/phrases you want to be sure to include.

For the Note Taker

At the end of this document are several charts that layout a way to capture and organize what

is shared during the Conversation.

Part I: Welcome and Introductions (20-25 minutes)

Key points

Introduce yourself, the note taker and the other (absent) members of the team. Offer a brief description of Express Innovation: why your congregation is involved, what

the process has been (so far), what you’ve decided (so far) and why the participants’ input is important.

Have participants introduce themselves and share what constitutes quality family time

Draw attention to what families have in common and explain that this information will influence how the model takes shape.

Sample Script

Welcome and thank you for joining us. My name is ___________ and I’m part of the team

working to create new kinds of Jewish learning experiences for children and families in our

congregation. Joining me is another member of our team, __________, who is going to do

his/her best to keep a running record of our discussion. (The other members of our team are…)

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Last spring our team came together to begin what we feel is really exciting and important work

for our synagogue under the auspices of a project called Express Innovation. We are working

with a consultant and have attended two meetings with teams from other congregations

exploring new kinds of learning for their congregations. We’ve made some preliminary

decisions about the direction we want to go in (more about that later) but don’t want to

proceed much further in our thinking and planning until we learn some more about you and

your families. Your children’s grade/subject/stage in life is the target audience for the “taste”

of this new model of learning that will be introduced in January. In order to create something

that is truly engaging and meaningful we’d like to learn more about your family – what’s

important to you in general and what kind of Jewish life you want to live. We’re going to follow

together a structured conversation that will bring these thoughts to the surface.

Perhaps you’re wondering why we have turned to you for this Conversation. Two main

reasons: one, we know that you’re invested in your children’s and family’s education and

Jewish future, and two, we know that each of you knows how others of your peers in the

congregation are thinking and feeling.

Let’s go around and please introduce yourself by name, the names and ages of your children and your answer to this question: Share one activity that your family enjoys doing together. Please limit your sharing to one minute. (Note to Facilitator: Introduce yourself first, modeling the kind of information and length of talking time expected of the others.) Thank you for sharing. It’s great to get to know each other a little better. I heard a number of you mention you enjoyed spending time as a family (when or how)______________________. (Possibilities might include around holidays, celebrations, vacations, in specific places.) This is helpful to know as we work to create a learning model that fosters meaningful experiences for you and your children. Your stories give us insight into the direction we will take.

Part II: A Little Bit of Torah (25 minutes)

Key points

Explain that in order to design this new kind of learning in a way that’s meaningful the

team would like to know more about the participants and their families and that we’ll

be looking at some writings by parents or about parenting to inspire a discussion about

our hopes and dreams for our children

In pairs have participants read and discuss the 2 texts assigned to them, following the

directions provided

Partners report to the group what each other wishes for their children

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Identify commonalities and differences that emerge

Sample Script

For our new model of learning to be meaningful to you and your family we know it has to speak to who you are and how you live your life. As a way of inspiring a discussion about this we’ve gathered statements from parents and those writing about parenting – both general and Jewish – to get us started. We’ll be doing this in pairs. Attached to these texts are directions for you to follow. When we gather back together, in about 10 minutes, we’ll go around and each of us will report on what our partner had to say. (Note to Facilitator: Distribute texts. Assign 2 texts to each pair. When you bring group back together, start the round of sharing to model for others.)

(After 10 minutes): Let’s reconvene (give everyone a chance to get settled) and go around and let’s hear first what resonated with your partners in the texts you read. Timing: two minutes per pair, 10 minutes total. Now, let’s hear if there were hopes and dreams for your children that were not expressed in these texts. Timing: 3 minutes total Thank you for sharing with each other and all of us your aspirations for your children. I heard several of you mention _________, and others concerned with ___________. (Feel free to highlight multiple commonalities, if they exist. For example, you may hear “I want my kids to be strong enough to stand up for what’s right” or “I want my child to be caring and compassionate” in which case you can comment on the shared hope that their children have a strong moral compass.)

Directions for Discussions

Please read through all three steps before beginning.

1. With your partner, read through the 2 texts you were assigned. You may want to do this out loud. Sometimes we hear things differently than we read them.

2. As you read, underline the items that relate to your hopes and dreams. Likewise, note in the margin a one of your hopes or dreams for your child(ren) that was not expressed in these texts.

3. Share with your partner what you underlined and noted. Ask enough questions of each other so you can explain his/her wishes when the full group reconvenes.

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Timing: 2 minutes total.

Part III: Living a Jewish life (15-20 minutes)

Key points

Direct participants to consider and discuss what facilitates and impedes their efforts to

achieve the hopes and dreams they have for their children.

If the participants don’t touch on Jewish learning and/or living, ask them to consider

how Judaism could help them reach their dreams for their children.

Sample Script

We’ve talked a little about your families and about your hopes and dreams for your children.

Now we’d like to step back to reflect on how easy – or difficult – it is for you to achieve these

hopes and dreams.

Think about what you’ve shared here about what you want for your children. Take two

minutes and jot down your answers to the following 2 questions:

1. What in your life is working with you in helping you reach those hopes and dreams?

2. What are some things in this changing world that are getting in the way?

(After two minutes) Go around and ask parents only to share responses to #1. Then go around

the other way and ask parents to share their responses to #2.

(If nothing specifically Jewish comes up you can ask: Where does Judaism fit in? In what ways can you imagine Judaism helping you reach your dreams for your children?)

Part IV: Facilitator reflection and building your new model (15 minutes)

Key points

Reflect on and summarize some of what you heard during this Conversation

Briefly explain the process of creating your new model moving forward

Briefly describe your new model and how the team is committed to being thoughtful

and sensitive in its design and implementation.

Sample Script

It’s clear you all love your children very much and want for them what you believe will make

them successful and satisfied in life. However, creating the opportunities for them to be in

situations where they can observe others and learn for themselves what makes for a good life is

not always easy. We hope that our new model of learning will address some of your concerns

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and create new opportunities for your children and your family, together, to explore aspects of

life that can too easily get overlooked.

For example (and here you need to draw on what you actually heard),

I heard you talk about how your busy lives pull your family apart in too many directions.

Our model is going to provide time for quality and meaningful together family time.

I heard how concerned you are about how focused your kids are on what they have

instead of who they are. Our model is going to challenge bad values and have everyone

share the experience of sharing and giving.

I heard how you wish your kids could relax and not feel the pressures that seem to come

at them from all sides. The time you spend together with other families will be

important, but not pressured. We will create a safe space for everyone to relax and say

what’s on their mind, without being fixated on grades and the next test.

I heard______________________ and want you to know that the new model will

address that by ________________.

What you’ve shared here today will help shape our new learning model. We’ll be reviewing our

notes, looking both at your words and the feelings and concerns behind your words. Our

consultant will be working with us to help us sort through and incorporate some of what you’ve

said you’re looking for in meaningful experiences for your families.

Describe the broad outlines of your model, focusing on these points:

The category (e.g. Shabbat centered, Service Learning, etc.)

The design is far from complete.

It may require some schedule changes but that the team will be very thoughtful

about providing plenty of communication and notice about what’s ahead.

Much of what was shared during this Conversation will be critical as the team shapes

the model and plans for its implementation.

Part V: Group reflection and Wrap-up (10-15 minutes)

Key Points

Put closure on the Conversation by asking participants to respond to a reflection

question.

Thank everyone for participating.

Ask participants to talk about this Conversation with others and to continue sharing

ideas over the months ahead.

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Tell participants to expect to hear more from you in the near future.

Sample Script

Go around and ask everyone to respond to this reflection question:

How was this Conversation different from other meetings or discussions you’ve had at the synagogue about a new initiative or upcoming program?

Thank everyone for being so forthcoming and sharing their personal stories.

Ask the participants to help make your innovations successful by talking to others about this Conversation and continuing to share their ideas as your plans progress. Promise participants that you will follow-up with them soon.

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CAPTURING STORIES: A note-taking tool to record what is shared during the

Conversation.

PART I: Welcome and Introductions

As parents describe their favorite family activities, jot down the specific experiences and what

about them makes them enjoyable.

Activities Shared by Families

Nature of activity What seems to make it enjoyable

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PART II: A LITTLE BIT OF TORAH

As hopes and dreams related to the texts are shared, jot down which parts of which texts

resonated with them and how they made the connection to their own hopes and dreams.

Sections of Text Personal Connection to Hope and Dreams

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PART III: LIVING A JEWISH LIFE

Capture what parents say both helps them and impedes their efforts to reach their hopes and

dreams.

Hopes and Dreams Expressed What Helps Reach Hopes and Dreams

What are Barriers to Reaching Hopes and Dreams