san joaquin parents and kids march/april 2015

THE MAGAZINE FOR IN-THE-KNOW PARENTS

parents

MARCH/APRIL 2015SANJOAQUINMAGAZINE.COM

LATHROP | LODI | MANTECA | RIPON | STOCKTON | TRACY

AW

ARD WINNING

PUBLICATIO

N

KICK OFF THESpring

WITH:

The Bear Necessities

Earth Day Adventures

Stepmom Tightrope

& More!

15-494 MAKOplasty Ad - SJ Magazine March 2015

Monday, February 09, 2015 1:15:34 PM

15-494 MAKOplasty Ad - SJ Magazine March 2015

Monday, February 09, 2015 1:15:34 PM

· CUTTING EDGE EDUCATION· PRESCHOOL THRU HIGH SCHOOL

Preparing studentsfor the next step,life and eternity.

DEDICATED TO PROVIDING ACADEMIC, SPIRITUAL, ATHLETIC & SOCIAL EXCELLENCE

K-12 OPEN ENROLLMENTFOR Fall BEGINNING NOW!

K-6TH BROOKSIDE CHRISTIAN ELEMENTARYOPEN HOUSE MARCH 16TH • 7PM

Field Trips ⋅ Computer Lab ⋅ Limited Class Size ⋅ Foreign Language ⋅ Hot Lunches AvailableBefore & After School Care ⋅ Year-Round K-6 Child Care 6:30am through 6pm

7TH - 12TH BROOKSIDE CHRISTIAN JR. & HIGH SCHOOLOPEN HOUSE MARCH 23RD • 7PM

College Preparatory Classes ⋅ Competitive Athletic Program ⋅ Music and Arts Program

915 ROSE MARIE LANE ⋅ STOCKTON 209.954.7651

4 THE MAGAZINE FOR IN-THE-KNOW PARENTS

March/April8 | Green Reads & Leprechaun LaughsCelebrate St. Patrick’s Day with a month full of great reads to get your kids in the spirit!

8 | BEE There or BEE SquareThis year marks the 24th anniversary of the San Joaquin Library and Literacy Foundation’s Annual Trivia Bee. A cherished Stockton tradition, the bee helps support literacy through active team and audience participation.

10 | Shedding Light on theScience of Illumination From fiber optic firework shows and shadows, to motion, rainbows and reflections – these are just a few of the playful, interactive experiments offered by Lodi’s World of Wonders Science Museum’s newest exhibit.

12 | The Bear Necessities Meet Andy Prokop, President and CEO of the United Way of San Joaquin and learn more as he shares his love for the Teddy Bear Toss and spreading smiles!

14 | Earth Day AdventuresFundamentals like recycling, minimizing waste, conservation, and respect can be instilled in your children through a host of fun activities and adventures!

16 | A Mother’s Promise to her Daughter I already feel the world trying to pull you from me, trying to yank your childhood out from under the both of us. In light of this, I make you

18 | Profiles:Athletic Perfection Cheer and Tumbling Heather Jean Photography

20 | Walking the Stepmom Tightrope I know what being a mom is about because I have my own, so how difficult can it be to be a stepmom? It’s really just a difference in words, right? Wrong….

26 | Date Book

30 | Last Word

{2015}

16

8

MARCH/APRIL l 2015 SAN JOAQUIN PARENTS MAGAZINE 5

The Valley’s Premier Dance Studio

6 Central Court • Stockton

209.915.1891

BESTSAN JOAQUIN M A G A Z I N E

G O L D W I N N E R

OF

20

14

Thank You for Voting us BEST DANCE STUDIO

in SAN JOAQUIN

We Offer all Styles of Dance:Jazz • Tap • Ballet • Hip Hop • Lyrical • Contemporary

Cardio Barre • Nationally Acclaimed Competitive Dance Teams

Pre-School ClassesHip Hop | Ballet

Tap | Lyrical | Boys Jazz | Tumbling

Competition Teams And much more!

DANCE ACADEMY

3602 Mars Way #117 | Tracy(Tracy Blvd to Gandy Dancer)

209.833.1844www.d2mdance.com

Summer Schedule will be available

March 1st 2015

BECOME A FAN & WINfacebook.com/sanjoaquinmagazine

MARCH 2015 / APRIL 2015

PUBLISHER | EDITOR Tony Zoccoli

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

David Martinez

MANAGING EDITORLindsey Rodrian

SECTION EDITORMelissa Hutsell

TRAVEL EDITORDon Jackson

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Lauren Sturman, Michelle Cox, Neelam Patel

ART & EDITORIALREGULAR CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Cheri Nelson, Lynette Carrington, Heather Reagan, Rachael Kanner, Elizabeth Borsting

PHOTOGRAPHY Dan Hood

DISTRIBUTION SERVICESRebecca Ristrim

EDITORIAL/ADVERTISING OFFICESCONTACT US

San Joaquin Parents Magazine published bi-monthly by

San Joaquin Magazine318 W. Pine Street, Lodi, CA 95240

Phone: (209) 833-9989www.sanjoaquinmagazine.com

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may bereproduced without written permission from this publisher.

Photographs, graphics, and artwork are the propertyof Inside Magazines Publishing Company.

© 2015 Inside Magazines Publishing Co.

CONNECT I TWEET I READ KEEPING THE CENTRAL VALLEY CONNECTED

CALL 209-833-9989 FOR ADVERTISING INFOMATION

OR VISIT SANJOAQUINMAGAZINE.COM

CONTACT US



SanJoaquinT H E P R E M I E R M A G A Z I N E O F C E N T R A L VA L L E Y L I V I N G M A G A Z I N E

9 t h A n n u a l 2015 Best of SanJoaquin

CAST YOUR VOTE

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITES ATwww.sanjoaquinmagazine.com

Win Dinner on Us!

OVER $500 in Restaurant Gift

Certificates are up for grabs.Each completed ONLINE ballot

will be entered to win.

GREEN READS &

LEPRECHAUN

LAUGHS BY LINDSEY RODRIAN

Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with a month fullof great reads to get your kids in the spirit!

THE NIGHT BEFORE ST. PATRICK’S DAY BY NATASHA WING Enjoy this Irish twist on a Christmas Classic. It’s St. Patrick’s Day Eve and characters Tim and Maureen are too excited to sleep. The brother-sister duo spend the night setting traps to catch a leprechaun sure to come in the night. They awake to their dad playing bagpipes, their mom cooking green eggs, and a leprechaun in their trap! But will they find his pot of gold?!

THAT’S WHAT LEPRECHAUNS DOBY EVE BUNTLINGDo you ever wonder what leprechauns do all day? Of course, we all know they are busy burying their pot of gold at the end of the rainbow… but as this book's characters discover, they like to have a bit of fun along the way! We all know mischief is a leprechaun’s middle name! Find out why in this picture book.

PINCH PROOFBY BIG RED BALLOON Everyone knows if you don’t wear green on St. Patrick’s Day, you get pinched! This is exactly what little Jilly wants to avoid. Share a laugh with your child as you embark on an adventure with Jilly, as she over analyses the St. Patrick ’s Day tradition of the pinch!

JAMIE O’ROURKE ANDTHE BIG POTATO BY TOMIE DEPAOLA The award for laziest man in all of Ireland goes to the leading character of this children’s book: Jamie O’Rourke. In fact, he’s so lazy he doesn’t even help his wife with their farm! But, after Jamie encounters a leprechaun, he finds himself growing the biggest potato in the world! What will happen when the magic potato grows too large for the villagers to handle?

UP FRONT


Salida Surgery Centerwww.salidasurgerycenter.com

(209) 543-9299

CALL US TO SCHEDULE YOUR APPOINTMENT TODAY

5712 Pirrone Rd., Salida, CA

NO MORE

FEAROF THE DENTIST!

2105 NORTH TRACY BLVD. | TRACY, CA209.597.5705 | THEORYOFPLAYCDC.COMOPEN MONDAY TO FRIDAY FROM 6AM TO 6PM | LIC#393620051

Offering Preschool Day-care,

Before & AfterSchool Care

in Tracy

We Provide T.O.P Quality Child Care that includesZoo Phonics Curriculum, High Security Entry System

in a very clean, safe and fun environment.

Flaherty’sKenpo KarateFlaherty’sKenpo Karate

∂ Low Starter Rates

∂ Free Uniforms

∂ No Contracts

∂ up to One FREE MOnth

KarateToday.com

209.956.55354343 Pacific Ave., Ste. D-2

TRY A

FREE Class Today


From fiber optic firework shows and shadows, to motion, rainbows and reflections – these are just a few of the playful, interactive experiments offered by World of Wonders Science Museum’s newest exhibit. The Jim Pyers Illumination Laboratory gives the community opportunity to explore the science of light. The lab, apart of Lodi's WOW Museum, has more than 10 exhibits, all dealing with different concepts of light, says Jen Young, Education Program Coordinator for the Museum. Examples of displays include a shadow table, two-faced exhibit, and convection current. While these exhibits are sure to boggle your mind, perhaps the most astonishing aspect of the lab is that local engineer, Jim Pyers, created all demonstrations. Jim creates these impressive displays in an effort “to teach the community all about the wonders of light beyond the household light bulb.” Altogether, it took Jim six months to create and build the labs exhibits. An exhibit can take anywhere from a day, to several months to build depending on its complexity, a truly impressive feat! “There are prisms bending light into rainbows, convex water sphere lenses turning images upside-down, fiber optic wires that light can travel through, and a phosphorescent wall that can capture a person’s shadow,” says Young. Each of the lab’s displays cater to all age groups, from toddlers to seniors, there is something informative and enjoyable for everyone.

Jim was drawn to WOW Museum during the original planning stage simply because he has always loved science and wanted to share his passion with the community. “He met with the President of the Museum, Sally Snyde, and showed her some of the fun exhibits he had built in his work shop,” says Young. Since then, Jim has been a member of the Team. “Pyers has always loved to take things apart and put things together. For example, he spent 20 years building a wooden sail boat from scratch.” So far, Jim has built more than 35 exhibits for the Museum - light being his favorite to work with. “He just finds it fascinating,” adds Young. Along with Jim, who donates his time and skills to build these exhibits, the lab is made possible by community donations that support science and education. “Jim always says if anyone has a specific exhibit they would like to see here at the WOW Museum let us know and we will make it happen!” The Jim Pyers Illumination Lab has quickly become one of the most popular areas for WOW guests, however the museum is filled with many interactive and stimulating exhibits, such as the Cranium Café. Every month the World of Wonders Science Museum offers fun new ways to learn about science along with new hands-on exhibits that are just as fun as they are educational. Come see for yourself!

FOR MORE INFORMATION:WORLD OF WONDERS SCIENCE MUSEUM2 N. Sacramento St., Lodi(209) 368- 0969, Wowsciencemuseum.org

Sheddinglight on the

SCIENCE of illumination BY MELISSA HUTSELL

IT'S SCIENCE


THE BEAR necessities

ANDY PROKOP’S STORY

Andy Prokop’s journey began in Fresno, California, as a child of three, born to an alcoholic mother. Looking back, Andy now knows the trials he faced at a young age inspired his caring, hardworking nature; a nature that led Prokop to “15 years, 300 days and counting” with the United Way of San Joaquin, serving as President and CEO.

At five years old Andy realized his mother had a drinking problem. Her addiction resulted in an often violent and unstable upbringing, receiving food from emergency food banks and clothes from the Salvation Army. Andy and his siblings also experienced short stays at foster homes, offering only temporary peace. Ultimately, Prokop moved out at 16 after being chased out by his mother, holding a handgun. He supported himself, working for McDonalds until he graduated from high school. He then enrolled in Fresno City College until being drafted into the US Army where he served as a Helicopter Crew Chief and Door Gunner in Vietnam in 1968, logging 800

BY LINDSEY RODRIAN | PROFILE PHOTO DAN HOOD

IN-THE-KNOW


hours of combat. Andy returned to the fast food business, working with both Straw Hat Pizza and Carl’s Jr. His position at Carl’s Jr. led to a close personal relationship with owner Carl Karcher, the closest to a father figure Prokop had ever known. Eventually, Andy went on to own four Carl’s Jr. Restaurants in Stockton. As a business owner, he became deeply involved in the community. “I was known as someone to go to for fundraising support,” Andy explains, “Carl’s Jr., as a corporation, has a close relationship with the United Way. And as an owner I had the chance to be a part of some great projects.” In 1997 Andy sold his restaurants to focus on non-profit work, joining the United Way as President and Chief Executive Officer in 1999. “We make our living by what we earn, we make our life by what we give,” Prokop says, quoting Sir Winston Churchill. “I just want to help people reach their potential. In the most simplistic way, people want to be better, people want to do something, and we want to help them.” He adds, “I am blessed to be surrounded by long tenured existing United Way employees. I wish to continue their growth and the United Way’s growth by working with them.” The United Way of San Joaquin (UWSJ) improves lives by giving back to the community through education, health and income – values the organization believes are building blocks to a good life, filled with happiness, health, and success. Together, the United Way along with community leaders address San Joaquin’s toughest issues, by working with hundreds of local businesses including nonprofit agencies and their employees. The UWSJ is only one of many causes close to Andy’s heart. He also supports the

PHO

TOS: A

svitt Photography

Child Abuse Prevention Council, The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, is a Co-Founder of the Mary Graham Children’s Shelter Foundatio, and sits on the Wells Fargo Bank Community Advisor Board- where he and other San Joaquin business owners advocate opportunities to advance the community. Andy is also a proud member of the Rotacare Board- which will begin caring for San Joaquin’s most needy sometime this summer at the Dorothy Jones Center in South Stockton. Today, Andy is excited for the

Stockton Thunder’s Teddy bear Toss; he’s been involved since its inauguration 10 years ago. “We’ve been fortunate to partner with the Stockton Thunder, we bring those teddy bears back to the office and the annual quantity is usually around five to seven thousand.” Though Andy loves seeing the teddy bears tossed after the first goal of the night, he also enjoys seeing the stacks of stuffed animals around the office. “We stack them up from floor to ceiling and then we have the Thunder staff and team come and count the teddy bears.” After they’re counted, students from the one.TLC School for homeless children get the pick of the litter. After one.TLC leaves, other nonprofits come in and pick up bears to distribute to those in need. Police Officers and Fire Fighters will keep them in their vehicles for any tough issues, because as Andy explains, “Teddy Bears quickly bring joy and smiles to most people and that is exactly what we love to do at United Way.”

FOR MORE INFORMATION:UNITED WAY OF SAN JOAQUIN COUNTY401 E. Main St.,Stockton, (209) 469-6980unitedwaysjc.org


EarthDay ADVENTURESBY LINDSEY RODRIAN

layer of brown material. Next, moisten with some water. Continue to keep your green and brown materials in mind each week, collect and add them to outside buckets, eventually adding them to your compost pile. This will be some seriously prosperous soil for your garden!

Reuse with Arts and CraftsA great way to teach children the value in re-using and reducing, is by example. Take your coffee tins, paint them and make them into drums! Or, grab some cans and make a wind chime for the back yard- there are so many great arts and crafts projects inspired from recycled items. Do some research and have some fun!

Anti-Litter BugNo one likes a litterbug and it’s important to make sure your children know why. Littering is disrespectful to our environment, parks and other outside areas created for everyone’s enjoyment. Even if your child is far from a trashcan, or pre

occupied by fun and games, it’s crucial to teach them the importance of making that walk or effort. A great way to instill the value of the anti-litter bug, is by pointing out the yucky garbage at some of their favorite places. It’s best to show them by example and never litter!

Recycling Have a special recycling can in your home, one that is in a high-traffic area and easily accessible for all, to further promote its use. Together, you and your child can create a poster of what goes in the blue recycling bin. Check your counties recycling regulations, and either create or print out images of what is to be recycled in your home. This way, your children will learn what makes it in the blue bin, and the rest of your family can be reminded, and keep track, thanks to your kid’s crafty creation!

Enjoy and Appreciatethe OutdoorsIf your children spend most of their time in front of a television or computer screen, their love and appreciation for the outdoors might be slim, lessening their respect and value found in planet earth. Make weekly efforts to get your kids outdoors to share in the magic that is our planet, so they develop their own appreciation.

Just as important as nurturing our children, is preserving their environment and teaching them to do the same. The many factors and concerns influencing earth today is surely a large concept for a small child. But, fundamentals like recycling, minimizing waste, conservation, and respect can be instilled in your children through a host of fun activities and adventures! Earth day was established in 1970 in an effort to stress the importance of keeping our planet healthy and clean. Since then, more than 500 million people in over 180 countries have participated in the holiday, making a promise to help the environment and make positive changes within their communities. There are so many ways to minimize our own carbon footprints that your children are sure to find an activity they will enjoy!

Start a Garden Spend a day with your children browsing local green houses for plants they find an interest in, and start your very own garden! Beginning with a mix of seeds and pre-sprouted plants is a great idea, so your children can see their plants and also watch others grow.

Start CompostingPerfect for your newly sprouting garden, is a compost! Start with “brown” materials like dead flowers, fall leaves, straw and shredded newspaper. Then, gather “green” materials, like grass clippings, vegetable peels and fruit rinds. Section off a 3 feet wide by 3 feet long section in your yard and start with the brown materials, covering the area with several inches of material. Then cover the brown materials with a layer of green materials. Next, add a thin layer of soil, and cover with another

FOR MORE INFORMATION:SJGOV.ORG

EARTH DAY


Vowsto my Daughter

BY HEATHER REAGAN

My sweet, spirited daughter, I know you have only been on this planet 6 years, but I already feel the world trying to pull you from me, trying to yank your childhood out from under the both of us. In light of this, I make you these promises. I promise to encourage you to love your body. I promise you will never hear me utter the words “diet” or “fattening”. You will never hear me complain about my weight or my looks. (Even when you point out the lines around my eyes, I will always tell you they’re from laughing.) I won’t ever let you complain about your body, either. I will not have it. You are healthy. Nothing else matters. NOTHING. I will never tell you that you can’t do something because you’re a girl. I promise that I will always encourage the fire you have within you. I will never let you be the mean girl. I don’t EVER want to find out that you’ve purposefully excluded someone, or acted in a hurtful way to another person. This world is too harsh, particularly to little girls, and if you are participating in making another child feel

inferior, I will make sure you never do it again. I will shield you from the misogynistic world of advertising as long as I can. I know I can’t keep you innocent forever, but for as long as I can, I will keep you away from magazines touting weight loss secrets and magic firming creams to maintain your youth. Your life will be spent dodging the media’s messages that you are not beautiful, so I will protect you as long as I can, until your skin is thick enough to deflect their vicious attacks. I will always encourage you to live large and loudly. That does not mean you can be disrespectful, but I want your voice to be strong and confident- your words matter, make them heard! I don’t care how crazy your idea is- share it with passion and claim your place in this world. I will never tell you to “put on a little lipstick”. I hope you never look at your beautiful face in the mirror and think it needs makeup. But if you do, it won’t be from my influence. I will keep you a little girl as long as I can. Too many girls grow up too fast, too soon. You will

never have this time again, so take all the time in the world to play with dolls and dream of unicorns and sparkly fairy dust. Let the magic of your imagination sustain you as long as you can. I promise to listen to you with an open mind. I want to hear your dreams, your opinions and your perspective on life. I love seeing the world through your eyes. It may not always be practical (or even sane), but I’m continuously amazed that I helped create a human being who has the capability for so much silliness, intensity and wisdom. I know we’re going to have some incredible debates over the next 40-odd years. I vow to love you no matter what. No matter how many times you tell me you hate me through your teen years, I will remember that you have raging hormones and that you have, unfortunately, inherited my stubbornness. I can’t promise I will sit silently when you unleash your temper, but I promise to hug you close every night and forgive you for your wrongdoings.

MOM'S PROMISE


209.956.54374453 Precissi Lane, Stockton

PreschoolFull Time Day Care

Infant Care, Preschool, Pre-K & After SchoolFull Breakfast, Lunch & Snacks Served Daily

Conveniently located near March Lane & Pacific Ave. in Stockton

Visit us @ www.WriteStartLearningCenter.net

402 W. Weber Ave. • Stockton

209.465.4386ChildrensMuseumStockton.org


G O L D W I N N E R

OF

20

14

Thank You for Voting us Best Place to Take Kids when it’s Cold

in SAN JOAQUIN


ATHLETICPerfection

CHEERBY MELISSA HUTSELL

At Athletic Perfection the staff trains more than just tumblers and cheerleaders. They train champions. Julie Van Os founded the All Star Cheer Program in 2002, and in 2012 staff members Andrea Fagundes, and Jennifer Moore partnered as co-owners. “We have been together since the beginning in some way. Throughout the 10 years with them as staff members, they were my inspiration, my rock, and my ‘go to’ people,” says Julie, “I would not have made it without them, and so in 2012 when they became co-owners, it seemed like something that was always meant to be.” Though Julie began cheering at age 10, she never expected she’d run her own cheer program. “Honestly, I really just evolved into this profession. Cheer gyms did not exist when I was young so it was not something I grew up dreaming about.” In fact, with her degree in Government/Journalism, she aspired to be a lawyer. After coaching high school and junior high cheer teams,

her future in the cheer industry unfolded. “I started a competitive cheer program for junior high-aged girls, and from there the whole all-star program took off.” During the first year of the program, Julie had 30 students, the next year close to 90. “Three years later, I officially started Athletic Perfection.” Together, Andrea, Jennifer and Julie have built their award winning team and gym. The staff prides themselves on their community rooted-facility, locally raised staff, and outstanding reputation. “We are a home-grown gym with a family atmosphere. One of three owners is almost always present and available. We like to think of our gym as the “boutique” gym in the midst of all the “chain” gyms,” says Julie. The gym encompasses 6,000 square feet, is equipped with a spring floor, tumble track, spotting harness, mirrors and a state of the art sound system. Each athlete participates in classes or one-on-one instruction geared toward their skill level, ensuring comfortable and proper progression. Classes include; preschool tumbling, flyer training, tucks and layouts, and back handsprings among many others. While the team is based in Tracy, the athletes travel beyond the Central Valley to compete. “Over the past 13 years, Athletic Perfection has gone to Dallas, Las Vegas, Anaheim, Long Beach, Sacramento, San Jose, San Francisco and this year we are adding Visalia and Florida to the schedule,” says Julie. However, most competitions are local, within a 60-mile radius. The team has earned more than 100 National Titles and specialty awards like best stunts, best tumbling, best choreography, best pyramid, and best small-gym in addition to local awards including Best of Tracy for Best Coach, and Best Place for Teens and Toddlers. In addition, the team also received the title for the industry’s #1 Personal Development System. Whatever your experience, Athletic Perfection encourages boys and girls of any skills level, ages 3-18, to join their community based gym. “Our athletes learn the value of teamwork and committing to goals and understanding that reaching those goals take grit and perseverance. Ultimately, that builds a strong sense of confidence that you really can achieve anything if you work hard enough and that’s something that can be transferred into all areas of their life,” says Julie. In addition to the values and skills the team members earn, they also take away lifelong friendships. “The process develops extremely strong bonds among teammates and coaches and provides a family atmosphere where everyone benefits from everyone’s success.” To AP’s staff, it’s truly an inspiring environment they feel blessed to be apart of every day.

FOR MORE INFORMATION:ATHLETIC PERFECTION2211 N Mac Arthur Dr. | Tracy, (209) 834-2727 |

SPOTLIGHT


a 501(c)(3) nonpro�t

•

Drawing out your Character...out yourg out yourone scribble at a time.

¤

¤

¤

Professional artists with strong teaching skills lead all classes.Basic students develop competence with materials and techniques. Design classes emphasize composition and story-telling.Skills cover using various mediums to draw humans, animals, robots & aliens, action poses & backgrounds.

one scribble at a time.

JLIacademy.org 209-382-7848

SAINT MARY’S HIGH SCHOOLA COLLEGE PREPARATORY HIGH SCHOOL

5648 N. El Dorado Street l Stockton l (209) 957-3340

Now accepting applications for 2015/2016 school year.Call today to schedule a placement test.

There is something for everyone!s a i n t m a r y s h i g h s c h o o l . o r g

Balanced Risk-taker Caring Inquirer

Open-minded Communicator Reflec-

tive Principled Thinker Knowledgeable









tive PrincipledThinker Knowledgeable

Free Public Charter Schools Open to all students in San Joaquin County

Grades K-12

IB World School offering

Primary Years, Middle Years, and Diploma Programs.

APPLICATIONS AVAILABLE AT

343 E. Main St., Stockton • 209-390-9861AND ONLINE AT www.stocktoncollegiate.org


Stepmom


When people ask me how many kids I have, I say six. Sometimes it feels like a lie. Because I didn’t give birth to my two stepsons and stepdaughter. (I hate saying- “step children” Remember the movie St. Elmo’s Fire? [Showing my age here] Demi Moore’s character called her step mom, “Step Monster.” I always draw reference to that movie when anyone prefaces the words ‘children,’ ‘mom,’ ‘dad’, or ‘parents’ with the word “step.”) We don’t use “step” in our family. They’re all just our kids. When I married my husband, his kids were 11, 9, and 5. I know what being a mom is about because I have my own, so how difficult can it be to be a stepmom? It’s really just a difference in words, right? Wrong. Being a stepparent takes more thought, more planning, more watching of my words, more reflection, more patience, and more biding of my time than it does just

being plain ole’ Mom to my own kids. I wasn’t prepared to feel more vulnerable as a stepmom. The kids that I gave birth to somehow love me easily and in spite of myself, but the kids that inherited me through marriage have to make a conscious choice each and every day to love me. Sometimes being a stepparent feels like walking a tightrope…Everyone knows that routines are the bedrock of good parenting. With shared custody of stepchildren, you can set up real routines in your own home, but it is impossible to know what happens in the other parental home. Even if you have a good or amicable relationship with the other parent, and share a general parenting philosophy, you will still end up doing things differently. You still only have half the time to set boundaries and reinforce them, and it’s possible that those same boundaries might not

TightropeWalkingStepmomTHE

BY HEATHER REAGAN


exist in the child’s other house. And, oh, if there isn’t a united parenting philosophy, then you practice the parental philosophy of sucking up what you can’t change in the other parental home. You know when you meet new teachers or babysitters, and you have to describe your child, it feels weird and difficult, because how can you explain your little peeps in five days, let alone five minutes? It took you their whole life to get that knowledge! Stepparents have to try to pick up a kid’s entire history–from favorite foods, sports, and even birthdays to allergies, fears, and aversions- all at once and from whatever point they came into your life. You are in constant backtrack mode for all of the important things, and you always feel like there are vital pieces of the puzzle you have not been given. What is more, as your love for them grows, you feel a sense of loss for missing out on all the milestones and all the distinguishing things in their lives that have

shaped who they were up the point when you met them. The older your stepkids are when you come into their life, the harder this is. As moms, we all have those days when we want to throw our kids in the garbage. Ok….maybe not, but, parenting is really hard work, and it often geos unappreciated. When you have been thrown up on, peed on, screamed at, ignored, and endured a 53 minute tantrum because cinnamon ice cream isn’t on the menu for dinner, it’s natural to feel whiny about your kids, and it’s natural to vent to your partner. I’ll grumble about my kids all day long, but I am hesitant to complain about my stepkids because I don’t want anyone to construe it as mean-spirited or wicked-stepmothery.

There are approximately 542,886 other things that are difficult about being a Stepmom. The very last thing I have wanted to do is alienate my “steps” by trying to step into shoes that are already filled. I have committed to them to be another adult in their lives who loves and cares about them, whom they can trust, and who would be there for them. This feels like the right balance to me. Whatever I’m doing, however many mistakes I’m making along the way, I feel incredibly lucky to be a character in their stories. And maybe that’s how we stepparents need to look at it. They’re not characters in our stories, but we are characters in theirs. What do we want our impact to be?


“Don’t put your smile on hold...Call for an appointment Today!”

1710 E. March Ln., #2b • Stockton (Next to S-Mart Foods)

t. 209.474.1000 | f. 209.474.8429www.villagedentalcarestockton.com

OFFICE HOURS:Mon. Tues. Wed.: 10am - 9pm • Thurs: 9am-5:30pm

Fri: 8am-4:30pm • Sat: 8am - 4:30pm

NewYear New

Smile!

VILLAGE DENTAL CARE

OUR BILINGUAL STAFF WILL BE HAPPY TO ASSIST YOU!

K-12 HOMESCHOOLING & HIGH SCHOOL INDEPENDENT STUDY OPTIONS THROUGH A FULLY ACCREDITED CHARTER SCHOOL

NEW ONSITE ARTS PROGRAMMING TAUGHT BY EXPERTS:DANCE •DRAMA •MUSIC •FILM & VIDEO PRODUCTION •VISUAL ARTS

GENEROUS INCREASE IN VENDOR FUNDING FOR STUDENT ENRICHMENT NEEDS FOR 2014-15

FREE CORE CURRICULUM AND ONSITE WORKSHOPS • ACADEMIC & CAREER COUNSELING

UC APPROVED COURSE OPTIONS • ONSITE COLLEGE CREDIT • FIELD TRIPS

Be part of Rio Valley’s Guild for VISUAL & PERFORMING ARTS! A community focused on the

unique CAREER and COLLEGE readiness of the young artist.

Classes in both Sacramento and Lodi!WWW.RIOVALLEY.ORG

Where Achievement And creAtivity meet

1530 W. Kettleman Lane, Ste. A • Lodi, CA 95242(209) 368-4934 Phone • (209) 368-4953 Fax

Enrolling Now!

healthand

MEDICALGuide 2012

2012 MEDICAL GUIDEsanjoaquinmagazine.com

Local Doctors + Medical Profi les + Healthy Choices + Area Hospitals

SanJoaquinM A G A Z I N E ’ S

SPECIAL

BONUS ISSUE

MEDICALMEDICALAreaHospitals:Everything YouNeed To Know

A H E A LT H GU IDE

FO R SA N JOAQU IN

RES IDEN T S

the premier maGa Zine oF centr al Valley l iV inG

M A G A Z I N E

lathrop | lodi | manteca | ripon | stockton | tracy

the premier maGa Zine oF centr al Valley l iV inG

M A G A Z I N E

SanJoaquin

of SanSanSanSanSanSanJoaquinofofofof SanSanSanSanSanSanSanSanSanSanBest

Our 6th annual roundup

of the region’s finest!SanSanSan

JoaquinSanJoaquinSanJoaquinJoaquinJoaquinJoaquinJoaquinSanSanSanSanBestBestSanBestSanSanBestBest201

2JULY 2012

sanjoaquinmagazine.com

SUMMER 2012 www.sanjoaquinbride.coma special publication of San Joaquin Magazine

YOUR LOCAL WEDDING PLANNING & RESOURCE GUIDE

A PUBLICATION BY SAN JOAQUIN MAGAZINEWEDDINGSSERVING SAN JOAQUIN COUNTY

THE SEASON’S

BESTDRESSES12 FABULOUS LOCAL WEDDINGS+ LOCAL FINDS BEAUTY BUZZ

WEDDINGSSERVING SAN JOAQUIN COUNTYSERVING SAN JOAQUIN COUNTY

JULY/AUG 2012SANJOAQUINKIDS.com

lathrop | lodi | manteca | ripon | stockton | tracy

A FA MILY M AGA Z INE FO R PA RENT S

Rockon!+san Francisco Fun & pre-school 101

Over 300 AreaLocations to Pick Up

Your Copy Today! San Joaquin Magazine

San Joaquin KidsSan Joaquin & Stanislaus Weddings

San Joaquin Magazine’s Medical Guide

Visit Our Website for more information:

www.sanjoaquinmagazine.com


SPOTLIGHT

CAPTURINGthe Perfect MOMENTWITH HEATHER JEAN PHOTOGRAPHY

BY MELISSA HUTSELL

Taking the perfect photo is more than just a flash of the lens, it is the art of capturing a special moment and making it last a lifetime. For Heather Willey, photography is more than just a hobby or career, it is her lifelong passion. With her trusted eye for photography, she captures life’s greatest moments to be cherished forever. She has turned her passion into a business, Heather Jean Photography. She offers a variety of services, including engagement, maternity, senior pictures, and family portraits both indoors and outdoors. In addition, she also offers newborn and boudoir sessions. Each session is shot on location and includes edits and a CD, so customers can choose which photos they’d like to print, saving them extra costs. Whether it is small or large, a birthday celebration, or an anniversary, Heather will be there to document your most special moments. Heather discovered photography at a young age. “It started when I was 12 years old, when my friends’ grandmother took pictures of us in her studio. I took pictures of my friends, objects, and the scenery around me that I believed to be beautiful.” From there, she never looked back and began taking classes in high school. It was not long before she caught her teacher’s attention, “my teachers expressed to me that I had an eye for taking pictures.” She developed photos in a dark room

and taught herself how to use a digital camera. Throughout her teens, she continued to take pictures for fun while working other jobs. “I began taking pictures for friends and family and was encouraged by all to make it my focus and career.” She has fined tuned her skills, but considers herself a lifelong student, “I am always trying to improve and learn more. I have continued my education online, taking classes from renowned photographers, and many hours perfecting my craft.” For Heather, her customers are like family, “I feel privileged to be invited into people’s lives to capture their moments, their joys, and their growth as a family. I think my customers have stayed with me and recommend me because I always try to put them at ease.” Her style as a photographer centers on her ability stay relaxed, and patient, which translates in each photo she takes. “Getting to know them allows me to know what setting or picture ideas are best for each individual. Every session is new and exciting,” she adds, “To see the love and admiration a newly engaged couple have for each other, the pure joy a parent has for their newborn, the excitement of a teenager about to graduate, and the love of two families joining in matrimony. These are the moments I get to experience with them. I become a part of their lives and I also want to capture the best moments of these milestones.”

FOR MORE INFORMATION:HEATHER JEAN PHOTOGRAPHY(209) 406-3682Heatherjeanphotography.net


1635 W. Benjamin Holt Dr. I Stockton, Capresentationschool.org I 209-472-2140

ACCEPTING ENROLLMENT I OFFERING PK-8 CATHOLIC EDUCATION

Promoting gospel values, academic excellence, social

responsibilty, and the appreciation

and respect for the dignity

of each student.

209.406.3682Heatherjeanphotography.net [email protected]/pages/Heather-Jean-Photography/315272592102

Heather Jean Photography

923 N. Yosemite • Stockton

209.465.0943 FAX 209.465.1517

www.tibonkarate.com

CLASSES ALSO AVAILABLE AT:

GymStars Karate1740 W. Hammer Ln.• Stockton

209.957.1919

Hiers Goju Karate1900 S. Hutchins St • Lodi

209.333.8509

GymStars Karate5170 Pentecost Dr.,Ste B • Modesto

209.549.1919

Adam C. Tibon7 year national team member


G O L D W I N N E R

OF

20

14

Gene Tibon 6th Degree Black Belt Instructor

Tibon’s Goju Ryu

Fighting ArtsKarate Studio & Martial Arts Supplies

1 WEEK FREE& $70.00 OFF ENROLLMENTNo contractsCall for more info

THANKS FOR VOTING US SAN JOAQUIN’S BEST MARTIAL ARTS CENTER 4 YEARS IN A ROW!

Here’s how Huntington helps:

DON’T WAIT FOR THE REPORT CARD.GET HELP NOW.

©2012 Huntington Mark, LLC. Independently Owned and Operated. SAT and PSAT are registered trademarks of the College Entrance Examination Board. ACT is a registered trademark of ACT, Inc. The College Entrance Examination Board and ACT, Inc. were not involved in the production of, and do not endorse, this program.

363 S. Lower Sacramento Road - Lodi(In Raley’s Shopping Center)

209.333.8900Lodi.HuntingtonHelps.com

For more than 35 years, Huntington’s highly trained tutors have given students the skills, confidence, and motivation needed to get back on track.

• An academic evaluation identifies student’s individual problem areas• Academic programs are tailored to address each student’s specific needs• Highly trained professional tutors work individually with students• Lessons are taught at the student’s pace


Cal

enda

rCOMPILED BY

MELISSA HUTSELL

MARAPRIL2015

84TH ANNUAL ROBERT T. MCKEE STUDENT ART CONTEST AND EXHIBITION FEBRUARY 5-MARCH 29The arts – visual arts, music, dance, poetry and stories – connect us to the world and each other. The critical thinking skills the arts teach our children are as important as the pleasure they bring to the classroom and museum. Celebrate the arts in education with us during the McKee Student Art Exhibit, the longest running student art exhibition in the country! The Haggin Museum is proud to feature the work of student artists from kindergarten through grade 12 in the 84th Annual McKee Student Art Contest and Exhibition. This year we welcome students, their families and teachers on Saturday, February 7 from 1:30 – 3:00 p.m. This event is FREE to everyone and sponsored by the Junior Women’s Group of the Haggin Museum who will provide punch and cookies for guests. Haggin Museum, 1201 N Pershing Ave, Stockton, (209) 940-6300, hagginmuseum.org

CALIFORNIA COLLEGIATE ATHLETIC ASSOCIATION MEN’S & WOMEN’S BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIPS MARCH 4-7The California Collegiate Athletic Association (CCAA) will host the 2015 Men’s and Women’s Basketball Championships at Stockton Arena. Basketball will be the first of four Conference Championships, including men’s golf, softball, and baseball, to be held in Stockton during 2015. Tournament dates are set for March 5-7 with first-round elimination games on Thursday, Mar. 5, semifinal contests between first-round winners and the No. 1 and No. 2 seeds on Friday, March 6, and the championship games on Saturday, March 7. Stockton Arena, 248 West Fremont Street, Stockton

REPTILE ROUNDUP AT THE WOW SCIENCE MUSEUMMARCH 14Round up your family and slither on down to the World of Wonders Science Museum on Saturday, March 14th from 10:00-3:00 for our 6th annual Reptile Roundup. The WOW museum will be teaming up with local reptile stores and museums to bring you a hands-on day of reptile education and fun! The museum will be filled with arts and crafts and all of your favorite scaly friends. You can even have the chance to hold your favorite reptile or pick a new favorite! World of Wonders Science Museum, 2 North Sacramento Street, Lodi, (209) 368-0969


EVERYBODY CAN DANCE-FAMILIES DANCING TOGETHER MARCH 14Are you looking for a way to do something new and invigorating as a family? On the last Sunday of the month, this class will get your entire family moving and having fun. Suitable for ages 3 and up. Come jazz up your weekend at this fun-filled, family event! Grand Theatre Center for the Arts, 715 Central Ave, Tracy, (209) 831-6858, atthegrand.org

ART ALL AROUND FEATURING HARMONY STOCKTONMARCH 14Fun art activities will be happening throughout the Museum, including performances by the young musicians from Marshall School’s Harmony Stockton.Taking inspiration from Venezuela’s highly successful El Sistema, a national system of youth orchestras, Harmony Stockton provides free, intensive, daily music education for at-risk children at Marshall Elementary School in south Stockton to help them improve their academic performance and develop the personal habits that lead to success. Haggin Museum, 1201 N Pershing Ave, Stockton, (209) 940-6300, hagginmuseum.org

FRIENDS OF THE FOX PRESENTS “THE WIZARD OF OZ”MARCH 15Come see this classic family film on the big screen. The 1939 American musical fantasy film is known for its amazing cast including Judy Garland and Clara Blandick, and its use of Technicolor, ultimately dubbing it one of the most known films in cinema history. Bob Hope Theatre, 242 East Main Street, Stockton, (209) 373-1400

22ND ANNUAL MAD HATTER’S TEA PARTY MARCH 28Join the Mad Hatter, Alice and the White Rabbit at the 22nd Annual Mad Hatter’s Tea Party. This popular springtime event, started by the Museum Store Auxiliary in 1993, is inspired by Lewis Carroll’s classic story Alice in Wonderland. Other characters from the book, including Alice, the White Rabbit and the Queen of Hearts, will be brought to life by local drama students. Tea is served from elegant silver tea services, accompanied by delicious canapés, cookies and other tea time treats prepared by Museum Store Auxiliary members. Haggin Museum, 1201 N Pershing Ave, Stockton, (209) 940-6300, hagginmuseum.org

11TH ANNUAL EASTER RUN AND FUN APRIL 4Bring your whole family to a fun-filled event on Saturday, April 4 in support of the Lodi Salvation Army’s Hope Harbor Family Service Center. 5k and 10k runners and walkers receive a Custom Shirt; Pancake Breakfast; and raffle entry—there’s a Kids Fun Run too! Lodi Lake, 1101 W Turner Rd, Lodi, (209) 951-9229

24TH ANNUAL TRIVIA BEE IS “THE 60’S – BEE THERE OR BEE SQUARE”APRIL 24Come out and enjoy a fun-filled evening of trivia! Trivia skills are put to the test while raising funds for children’s literacy programs. A fun and competitive evening filled with team and audience participation, the Trivia Bee is an annual Stockton favorite! Each team will have the opportunity to win the award for Best Team Name, while member

of the audience can join in the fun by competing for Best Costume and Best Decorated Table awards. Stockton Arena, 248 West Fremont Street, Stockton, sjcliteracy.com

STOCKTON EARTH DAY FESTIVAL APRIL 26Bring your family to the largest Earth Day Festival around! Learn about the environment and how you can help preserve our natural resources. There will be a variety of interactive booths, displays, food, entertainment and more throughout the day. Other activities include community yoga, and a Family Fun Bike Ride and Parade. The Stockton Earth Day Festival is truly a celebration of fun and educational opportunities for the entire family From live music and dance to fun ways to go green. Victory Park, North Pershing Avenue and Argonne Drive (behind Haggin Museum), (209) 937-8389, livegreensanjoaquin.orgC

alen

dar

COMPILED BY MELISSA HUTSELL

MARAPRIL2015


Stockton Ballet School offers both youth and adult programs concentrating on the development of a well-rounded dancer. Although our name implies an emphasis on ballet training, our curriculum includes highly regarded classes in Jazz, Tap, Pilates, both Mat and Reformer, Hip Hop, Zumba® , as well as workshops in Ballroom, Kids Art and other specialty performing arts.


BRONZE WINNER

OF

20

14

Thank You for Voting us BEST DANCE STUDIO

in SAN JOAQUIN

1921 Country Club Blvd. • Stockton • 209.464.1961

IT’S BACK FOR 2015

REGISTER AT

EAGALLAKES.COM

209.640.4252www.EagalLakes.com

MAY16 & 172015

The time has come once again to start thinking about your summer plans. What better way to keep your kids engaged than to send them to the World of Wonders Science Summer Camp! This summer we o�er 4 camps that are designed to activate those inquiring minds.

For more information, or to reserve a spot for your child call (209) 368-0WOW (0969) HURRY, these science camps �ll up quickly!

Camps are for ages 7-12

All Science Camps run from 9:00am-2:00pm,

Monday through Friday

Healthy snacks are included. Please inform the World of Wonders of any

food allergies

$190 WOW members and $220 non-members

Reach for the stars with ‘Space Explorers’ Camp June 8th-12th

Build, Build, Build at our ‘Mini Maker’ Camp June 15th-19th

Unlock shocking mysteries with our ‘Circuit Science’ Camp July 6th-10th

Bring out your inner chemist with our ‘Calling all Chemists’ camp July 13th-17th


Leap ofFaith

ParentingBY HEATHER REAGAN

Parenting, from start to finish, is one big leap of faith. All we do – from the moment someone places a baby in our eager arms to the moment we watch our grown children walk away from us under their own power – is gather the information we have at any given moment and make the best decision we can with that information. There are always a million unknowns, a million what-ifs, a million possibilities at play, but in the end, we have to trust ourselves and make a decision.

It’s the most frightening part of parenting: at some point, we are forced to understand that no matter how many rules we follow and no matter how much research we do, we can never know or control everything. There are no guarantees. We might make the wrong decision. We might make the right one. We can’t see that far ahead, but we have to move forward anyway. And we do the best we can knowing our kids aren’t always going to appreciate or like our decisions. Chances are, they will hate most of our decisions and us along with them.So, when my six year old daughter screeches “You’re the meanest Mommy everrrrrrrr! I don’t love you! I don’t even like you! I quickly recite the whole parenthood is full of unknowns- I am adult, she is a child-I’ve got this, or wait, do I?- this too, shall pass mantra in my head. My daughter, meanwhile, trudges on the floor, arms down by her side, hands balled into diminutive fists, and makes her quintessential stomp out of the room exit. Into her room she goes, catapults herself onto her bed, yanks her blanket over her head, and grunts octaves higher than necessary, assuring I get the memo she’s pissed. I follow Irelynd into her room, kneel down next to her bed and gently lay my hand on her back. She jerks, (dramatically) pulls away and grunts overtly again. “I still love you, Sweetie,” I say softly. It’s the first thing I say every time she says I’m mean or that she hates me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if I’m overly joyful in the moment. Inside I’m fuming because I know that I bust my mommy-butt to raise her, so getting told I’m mean while setting a basic rule really pisses me off. If I’m honest, there are plenty of times I’ve considered sticking out my foot to trip her when she stomps off full of attitude to her room. But regardless of my intermittent, unhealthy desire to trip my six-year-old when she’s acting like a twit, I’m always mindful of saying, “I still love you.” It’s important to me that she always knows that she can be real with me. That I can take it. I ask her if she wants me to stay. She murmurs, “Yes,” in a tone of voice that communicates, “I need you, but I don’t want you.” Like parenthood, childhood doesn’t come with guarantees either. I sit on her bed, start to rub her back and feel her petite body relax underneath my loving touch. Most times, after I sit with her for a minute she regains confidence that my love is unconditional, and I’m cool with her spazzing out on me; she’s ready to be alone. She quietly whispers, “Space, please.” She knows she needs alone time to wind down. Parenthood is frightening. Childhood is frightening. And whether my parental choices are right or wrong, which there will be many of both along the way; they are made out of great love and one giant leap of faith.

LAST WORD



Improving your health.

Wearing whatever you want.

Imagine... Loving how you look.

Imagine your life after weight loss surgery.Ripon resident, Rebecca,

lost 87 pounds with the help of Doctors Hospital of Manteca.

1205 East North Street, Manteca, CA 95336 • 1 (800) 470-7229

Each case is different and must be independently evaluated and managed, actual weight loss will vary. This surgery is designed for those with a body mass index equal to or greater than 40, or equal to or greater than 35 with serious co-morbidities.

Facility meets all criteria as a Level 2 Center according to quality standards established by American College of Surgeons Bariatric Surgery Center Network Program.

Accredited by the Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery Accreditation and Quality Improvement Program

The Center for Surgical Weight Lossat Doctors Hospital of Manteca


2 0 1 5

Register for your classes online at winerose.com or call 209.371.6160

CLASSES HELD AT WINE & ROSES • 2505 W. TURNER ROAD, LODI , CAL IFORNIA 95242

Thursday, April 23Soups are quick, hot meals that offer lots of health benefits- and not just for cold

weather. Join Chef John Hitchcock as he shares some creative ideas for warm

weather soups you can enjoy all spring and summer long. $59 per person, includes

tastings and a complimentary glass of wine. 6:30pm in the Cellar Room

R E S T A U R A N T A T W I N E & R O S E S

winerose.com

“Classes are meant to be fun, engaging, and informative. I want to share the joy of cookingand the many possibilities in the kitchen with fresh ingredients and simple technique.”

- CHEF JOHN HITCHCOCK

san joaquin parents and kids march/april 2015

Documents

san joaquin parents

styles of dance

san joaquin library

united way of san joaquin

makoplasty ad sj magazine

bestsan joaquin

san joaquinwe

best dance studio