sathya sai parenting humble pranaams to the lotus feet of bhagwan baba

Sathya Sai ParentingHumble Pranaams to the

Lotus Feet of Bhagwan Baba

A wonderful book with rich collectionof Swami’s advice on parenting, laid outin such a simple way to help parentsrestore love, discipline, and values in their homes.

Critical Aspects “Sai” Parenting

• Child development duties• Parental role – man’s and woman’s• Teaching self discipline to children• Balancing discipline and love• House rules, television/telepoison• Respect and reverence• Pure love – parents’ love

Discipline• What is discipline?

– Discipline means the observance of certain well-designed rules. Without such regulation it is not possible to maintain humanness. Swami

• Why discipline?– Discipline trains you to put up with

disappointments, you will know life has both ups and downs. SSS #3 pg. 60

– To earn the goodwill of the Master, there is one recipe; obey His orders without murmur….Grace is showered on all who obey instructions and follow orders. SSS #2. pg. 184.

– Man today lives as he likes without following any discipline. Discipline is needed in every aspect to maintain the right course of life. A river has two banks. But for this, the river may flow in all directions flooding the fields, villages and causing untold hardship and disaster. If it has banks to regulate the course of flow, it will be useful for irrigation. SS Jan 1992. pg 2.

Self-discipline• To give up body consciousness must be your deeksha

(steady pursuit). This must express itself in actual practice as discipline (nishtha) and training of senses and emotions (sikshana). Water or fire as such cannot move a train. They must both co-operate to produce a third element - steam, which moves the train forward. Treat discipline as more important than even food. This body (deha) is but an instrument to realize the Indweller (Dehi). With determination and faith feed your spirit as scrupulously as you feed the body. You will attain union with the Indweller only when your mental agitations are curbed and equanimity is achieved. Whatever be the path - devotion, wisdom or selfless action, it must lead you to achieve equanimity. To cross safely across the flood of birth-death-continuum, you must build this sturdy safe bridge called unflinching discipline (nishtha).

- Sathya Sai Speaks, Vol V, Jan 29, 1965.

Teaching self-discipline to children

• How do we do it? Here are some tips. Actual implementation comes later.– Communicate positively to explain the benefits– Instead of rewarding children with physical gifts, we

appreciate them for their effort.– Waste of money is evil, teach children not to

receive anything for nothing. Let them earn by hard work the things they seek. SSS #2 pg. 192.

– Engage them in chores. Make children help the parents instead of letting them watch television.

– Teaching them the joy of giving.– Live a life of self-discipline.

Balancing discipline and love

Parents say• Eat your dinner• Clean your room• Time for bed• Share your• Do your home work• Change your clothes

Children say• I don’t like it• What’s wrong with it?• Not tired• It’s mine• Don’t have any• What’s wrong with

these?


• When we say “NO” or take a disciplinary action, children are very upset. The atmosphere of the house changes. They are hurt, we are hurt. Swami says we have to be “strong”.

• “There should be love and law.” SSS #3 pg. 60.• They cry, scream. They say “you are very mean, you

hate me”. Often parents give in when they hear children going on and on like this.

• Love the children, but give them stern correction if they do anything wrong. Timid parents of today fear to establish strict rules for children, as they think the children may run away from home or end their lives. SS Nov-Dec 1995 pg. 294


Disciplinary action

Children are upset, angry, whine

Parents give inParents do not give inFollow “love and law”By Swami

Parents love their childrenunintelligently – instilling badbehavior

Parents love their childrenbeyond themselves and all the morereason they are not giving in.

House rules television/telepoison

• It is like a sword coated with honey. As you lick the honey, the sword will cut your tongue. SS Discourse Jan, 15, 1996

• After the arrival of TV, we are unknowingly subconsciously programmed by the commercials in the television.

Swami to Mrs. Rita Bruce• Concentration on the television affects one’s view of the

world. The scenes, thoughts and actions displayed on the TV set fill the mind of the viewers. Unknowingly, agitations and ill-feelings, enter their minds. In due course they take root and grow in the minds. SS Discourse January 15, 1996.

• Parents must examine every story or account that you place before children from the point of view of individual faith and social harmony. Does this lead the child to a better more harmonious, a more God-oriented life? That is the question you should ask yourself. SSS #9 Pg. 1

Entertainment Media – Open message and hidden message

Rated “R”

General message: Tiny brave fish experiences hardship but over comes them and eventually succeeds.

Hidden message: Nemo does not obey the father’s words. Child thinks: It is OK for the me to disobey the parents. Father is not as brave as the kid. Child thinks: May be my dad is a little dumb.

Misleading movies

Lowering parents expectations

One example of so many hidden mis – understandable messages

How TV can affect children?

1-5 years• Overstimulatio

n• Lack of sleep• Lack of

concentration• Inability to self-

entertain• Addiction and

anger• Lack of proper

food habits

5-12 years• Misinterpretation

of messages• Hidden messages

– wrong value• “It is OK”, “Why

not” attitude• Disrespectful/

sarcastic talk• Lying about small

things• Fear of

responsibilities

13-18 years• Hiding bigger

activities• Detachment from

home• Interest in age-

inappropriate activities

• Lack of responsibility

• Low self-esteem• Low self-

confidence

Actual house rules

• Make rules for important activities in the house – create a worksheet– Prayer– Homework– Chores– Family– Bedtime– Individual activities– Television– Allowance

Actual house rules

• Lay for yourselves a set of parent rules– Never fight with your spouse– Never disagree in front of your child–Maintain consistency– Never five permission unless both are

consulted– Agree on house rules – Listen with love and total attention– Speech needs to be clear, decisive, loving

and understandable

Respect and reverence

• Read Swami’s teachings to them – Mrs. Bruce. Communicate to them big time.– Give up your seat to someone who is older or infirm or

more deserving, that is service - Swami

• Respect for persons, places and things– In order to lead a regular life, you must bring the

following to your daily life. 1. Respect elders, mother is first God, 2. Follow elders, father is second God, 3. Follow the teacher, teacher is the third God. Swami’s talks to the students

– If we let our child disrespect us and others, that means we have no self-respect or respect for others.

– Self-respect leads to self-satisfaction, which will in turn lead to self-realization. Dasara Divine Discourse, Oct 15, 1999

Respect and reverence

• Everyone should respect all others as one’s own kin, having the same divine spark and the same Divine Nature. Now, love and respect based on the innate Divinity are absent, so there is exploitation, deceit, greed and cruelty. When people become aware that all men are ‘cells’ of the divine body, then there will be no more devaluation of man. Discourse, April 1, 1975

Pure love- Parents’ love

• Love, love and love towards all.• It is said that love has no form. But love has

a form. The mother who loves her child, expresses the form of love. SS Jan 1998.

• The spirit of sacrifice that is expressed while doing service is only found in mothers. When a mother watches somebody shedding tears, her eyes get wet too. Women have so much kindness in them. Sathya Sai Newsletter Summer 1996 pg. 6

• Love lives by giving and forgiving; self lives by getting and forgetting.

Finally• Each child is different, each child is unique, each child

comes with different karma, each child has gifts to offer and challenges to be met. They act like clay that needs to be sculpted into a work of art by your loving hands. Treat them as delicate flowers. See them as an opportunity for growth and promotion in the spiritual quest which is none other than self-realization. They are our chance to share God’s love. They are our great fortune to serve God. They are our lessons to be learned. –Mrs. Rita Bruce

• Let us make Sai our divine parent and take message from everything He did and is still omnipresently doing.

Shared by LucreciaOn ChildrenWONDERFUL POEM FROM KAHLIL GIBRAN, A LEBANESE POET FROM HIS BOOK 'THE PROPHET". Your children are not your children.They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.They come through you but not from you,And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts.For they have their own thoughts.You may house their bodies but not their souls,For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;For even as He loves the arrow that flies,so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Sairam, Sairam and Sairam.

Swami gave this unique opportunity for a reason. To restore, preserve our

family values, and transform ourselves.We have just started our journey.

sathya sai parenting humble pranaams to the lotus feet of bhagwan baba

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