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"If a ruler listens to lies, all his officials become "If a ruler listens to lies, all his officials become wicked. " (Proverbs 29: 12)wicked. " (Proverbs 29: 12)

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Security or Sabotage:Security or Sabotage:How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective LeadershipHow Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership

"If a ruler listens to lies, all his officials become "If a ruler listens to lies, all his officials become wicked. " (Proverbs 29: 12)wicked. " (Proverbs 29: 12)

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Emotional InsecurityEmotional Insecurity

Insecurity is a feeling of general unease or Insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving oneself to be unloved, inadequate or perceiving oneself to be unloved, inadequate or worthless.worthless.

A person who is insecure lacks confidence in A person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value and capability, lacks trust in their own value and capability, lacks trust in themselves or others, or has fears that a themselves or others, or has fears that a present positive state is temporary and will let present positive state is temporary and will let them down and cause them loss or distress by them down and cause them loss or distress by "going wrong" in the future. "going wrong" in the future.

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Spotting Insecurity in Your BehaviorSpotting Insecurity in Your Behavior

1.1. COMPARISONCOMPARISON

You begin to compare yourself You begin to compare yourself to others…to others…Matthew 20:Matthew 20:The Parable of the Workers in the VineyardThe Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard

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Spotting Insecurity in Your BehaviorSpotting Insecurity in Your Behavior

Comparison Comparison Danger: You ignore the unique Danger: You ignore the unique role you and others are to play role you and others are to play on the teamon the teamJohn 21:21-22 (NIV)John 21:21-22 (NIV)2121 When Peter saw him, he asked, Lord, what about him? When Peter saw him, he asked, Lord, what about him? 2222 Jesus answered, If I want him to remain alive until I return, Jesus answered, If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.what is that to you? You must follow me.

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Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior

2.COMPENSATION

You feel like a victim, and must compensate for your inferiority…

Genesis 27: Jacob Gets Isaac's BlessingGenesis 27: Jacob Gets Isaac's BlessingGenesis 32: Jacob Prepares to Meet EsauGenesis 32: Jacob Prepares to Meet Esau

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Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior

COMPENSATION Danger: You fail to trust God's control by taking matters into our own handsPsalm 37:1-8 (NIV)Psalm 37:1-8 (NIV)11 Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; 22 for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.away.33Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. pasture. 44 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. your heart. 55Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: this: 66 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. your cause like the noonday sun. 77Be still before the LORD and wait Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. carry out their wicked schemes. 88Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret— it leads only to evil.do not fret— it leads only to evil.

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Spotting Insecurity in Your BehaviorSpotting Insecurity in Your Behavior

3.3.COMPETITIONCOMPETITION

You drift into self-centered You drift into self-centered patterns, trying to out-perform patterns, trying to out-perform othersothersLuke 15: 11-32Luke 15: 11-32The Parable of the Lost SonThe Parable of the Lost Son

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Spotting Insecurity in Your BehaviorSpotting Insecurity in Your Behavior

COMPETITIONCOMPETITION

Danger: You become obsessed with Danger: You become obsessed with building your own kingdom, and you building your own kingdom, and you will do anything to win.will do anything to win.Galatians 6:4-5 (NIV)Galatians 6:4-5 (NIV)44Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, somebody else, 55for each one should carry his own load.for each one should carry his own load.

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Spotting Insecurity in Your BehaviorSpotting Insecurity in Your Behavior

4.4.COMPULSIONCOMPULSION

You are driven to gain others‘ You are driven to gain others‘ approval; you are a people- approval; you are a people- pleaser.pleaser.Luke 10:38-42 : At the Home of Martha and MaryLuke 10:38-42 : At the Home of Martha and Mary

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COMPULSIONCOMPULSION

Danger: You risk burnout due to Danger: You risk burnout due to impure motives and unrealistic impure motives and unrealistic expectations.expectations. 1 Corinthians 15:10 (NIV)1 Corinthians 15:10 (NIV)1010But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.with me.

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5.5.CONDEMNATIONCONDEMNATION

The judgmental attitude of The judgmental attitude of yourself or othersyourself or others

1 Kings 19 : Elijah Flees to Horeb1 Kings 19 : Elijah Flees to Horeb

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CONDEMNATIONCONDEMNATION Danger: The distortion of reality and the temptation to withdraw from responsibility.1 Corinthians 4:3-5 (NIV)3I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. 4My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

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Spotting Insecurity in Your BehaviorSpotting Insecurity in Your Behavior

6.6.CONTROLCONTROL

In order to validate your own In order to validate your own worth, you feel you must take worth, you feel you must take charge.charge.

Genesis 16: Hagar and IshmaelGenesis 16: Hagar and Ishmael

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CONTROL CONTROL Danger: You think win/lose, not win/win. Danger: You think win/lose, not win/win. Because you are charting your own course, Because you are charting your own course, you risk integrity, protect personal "turf" you risk integrity, protect personal "turf" and often slip into the "scarcity paradigm.“and often slip into the "scarcity paradigm.“Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV)Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV)1111 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. a future. 1212 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. and I will listen to you. 1313 You will seek me and find me when you You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.seek me with all your heart.

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WE MUST KNOW THE TRUTH WE MUST KNOW THE TRUTH AND CLING TO WHAT IS TRUEAND CLING TO WHAT IS TRUE

John 8:32 (NIV)John 8:32 (NIV)3232 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.set you free.

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Spotting Insecurity in Your BehaviorSpotting Insecurity in Your Behavior

STEPPING INTO THE TRUTHSTEPPING INTO THE TRUTH

A.A.DETERMINE THE TRIGGER EVENT THAT DETERMINE THE TRIGGER EVENT THAT FOSTERED THE LIE/BONDAGE. FOSTERED THE LIE/BONDAGE. A- Antecedent (Event) A- Antecedent (Event) B- Belief (Self-talk)B- Belief (Self-talk)C- Consequences C- Consequences (Emotional reaction to the self-talk)(Emotional reaction to the self-talk)D- Dispute (Truthful self-talk)D- Dispute (Truthful self-talk)E- Effect E- Effect (Emotional reaction after truthful self-talk)(Emotional reaction after truthful self-talk)

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STEPPING INTO THE TRUTHSTEPPING INTO THE TRUTH

B.B.DISCOVER THE LIE YOU HAVE BELIEVED ABOUT DISCOVER THE LIE YOU HAVE BELIEVED ABOUT THAT SITUATIONTHAT SITUATIONSELF-LIES WORLDLY LIESSELF-LIES WORLDLY LIESMARITAL LIES DISTORTION LIESMARITAL LIES DISTORTION LIESRELIGIOUS LIESRELIGIOUS LIES-God's love must be earned-God's love must be earned-God hates the sin and the sinner-God hates the sin and the sinner-Because I am a Christian, God will protect me from pain and suffering-Because I am a Christian, God will protect me from pain and suffering-All my problems are caused by my sins-All my problems are caused by my sins-It is my Christian duty to meet all the needs of others-It is my Christian duty to meet all the needs of others-A good Christian does not feel angry, anxious, or depressed-A good Christian does not feel angry, anxious, or depressed-God can't use me unless I'm spiritually strong-God can't use me unless I'm spiritually strong

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STEPPING INTO THE TRUTHSTEPPING INTO THE TRUTH

C.C.DECIDE WHAT RESPONSE IS TRUTHFUL, DECIDE WHAT RESPONSE IS TRUTHFUL, APPROPRIATE AND REALISTIC.APPROPRIATE AND REALISTIC.

Lies produce emotional miseryLies produce emotional miseryTruth produces emotional healthTruth produces emotional health

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TIPS and TRUTHSTIPS and TRUTHS1. We must never put our emotional health in the 1. We must never put our emotional health in the hands of someone else.hands of someone else.2. The truth is a requirement for spiritual and emotional 2. The truth is a requirement for spiritual and emotional health.health.3. Most of our unhappiness and insecurity is the result 3. Most of our unhappiness and insecurity is the result of lies we believe.of lies we believe.4. Recognize that you will believe what you want to 4. Recognize that you will believe what you want to believe.believe.5. The truth can be eclipsed by a thrilling lie.5. The truth can be eclipsed by a thrilling lie.6. Remember that hurting people naturally hurt people; 6. Remember that hurting people naturally hurt people; intimidated people intimidate.intimidated people intimidate.

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Spotting Insecurity in Your BehaviorSpotting Insecurity in Your Behavior

Keys to Emotional SecurityKeys to Emotional Security

1.1.IdentityIdentity2. Brokenness2. Brokenness3. Purpose3. Purpose4. Giving and Receiving the Blessings 4. Giving and Receiving the Blessings

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God bless us all!God bless us all!