session 1 day 2 - va.gov
TRANSCRIPT
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WHOLE HEALTH COACHING
Session 1 Day 2
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WHOLE HEALTH COACHING
LISTENING
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LISTENING
Being present enables and allows us to listen.
Listening involves paying attention to what our client/partner is saying or not saying, both verbally and non-verbally, the feeling and
meaning behind the words.
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COACHING QUALITY: LISTENING/EMPATHY
As you watch the video…
Bring attention to your thoughts, feelings, and reactions.
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VIDEO
Empathy—The Human Connection to Patient Care (Cleveland Clinic)
https://youtu.be/cDDWvj_q-o8
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LISTENING EXERCISE #2
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND
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DEBRIEF
What was it like just to listen?
What was your experience being listened to without interruption?
How does listening relate to empathy?
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WHOLE HEALTH COACHING
TYPES OF LISTENING
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LISTENING
How can you tell if someone is really paying attention and listening to you?
When are times when you don’t listen well?
What gets in your way of listening well?
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TWO TYPES OF LISTENING
Primarily Self-focused Primarily Other-focused
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SELF-FOCUSED LISTENING
• Multi-tasking, distracted
• Formulate responses
• Filter through past experiences, history, assumptions
• Personal stories, agenda, advice
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OTHER-FOCUSED LISTENING
• Beginner’s Mind, Not-knowing
• Genuinely curious and interested
• Attention to body language, facial expression, tone of voice
• Attuned to energy and emotions behind the words
• Allow for silence, space, pause
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THE PAUSE
“The PAUSE: that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, . . . which often
achieves a desired effect where no combination of words. . . could
accomplish it.”Mark Twain
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LISTENING EXERCISE #3
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DEBRIEF
What did you notice about your own listening?
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VIDEO
It’s Not About the Nail
https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg
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BREAK
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY
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WHOLE HEALTH COACHING
COMMUNICATION SKILLS:REFLECTION
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COMMUNICATION SKILL: REFLECTION
Giving the client back his/her words, thoughts, feelings . . .
Serves to let the client know that you have HEARD them Serves to CLARIFY Builds RAPPORT
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COMMUNICATION SKILL: REFLECTION
Allows client to hear what was said . . .
PAUSE to allow for reflection and response REFLECT on important values and values-conflicts DEEPENS the conversation, exploration, and
understanding
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COMMUNICATION SKILL: REFLECTION
Two types of reflections: Simple Complex
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SIMPLE REFLECTIONS
Simple Reflections:• Parroting• Paraphrasing• Summarizing
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SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: PARROTING
• Using the client’s SAME words• Not a question• Can be POWERFUL
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SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: PARROTING
ExampleClient: “I don’t want to be here.”Coach: “You don’t want to be here.”
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SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: PARROTING
Example (Stated With a Questioning Tone)
Client: “I don’t want to be here.”Coach: “You don’t want to be here?”
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PARROTING – BATTING PRACTICE
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SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: PARAPHRASING
RESTATE what the client has said using other words
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SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: PARAPHRASING
ExampleClient: “I have tried this, this, and this and haven’t been successful.”Coach: “You’ve learned what doesn’t work for you.”
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SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: SUMMARIZING
• Brings several key points from client together in one statement
• Can be parroted, paraphrased, or a combination
• Can be used as a transition or to end a session
• Remember Bottom-lining
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SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: SUMMARIZING
ExampleClient: “I’ve tried everything – biking, swimming, running – with not so great results. I want to give up sometimes but I really want to get back to my old self.”
Coach: “You’ve tried a lot that hasn’t worked for you, you’re frustrated and yet you want this.”
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SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: SUMMARIZING
Example (summary as a transition)
Coach: “You have brought a lot of thoughts, ideas, and challenges to our conversation today. Which one is most important to address today?”
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COMPLEX REFLECTIONS
• Goes beyond what the client has said• A guess or hunch at deeper meaning,
inferred value, or emotion• Use intuition
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COMPLEX REFLECTIONS
Example
Client: “I’m not getting the service I think I deserve.”
Coach: “You have higher expectations.”
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COMPLEX REFLECTIONS
Example (reflecting emotion)
Client: “I’m not getting the service I think I deserve...”
Coach: “You’re frustrated.”
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COMPLEX REFLECTIONS
Double-Sided Reflection
• Used when clients present two sides of an issue, having ambivalence, and/or value-conflicts
• Intent is to honor and explore both sides
• End with the side toward CHANGE
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DOUBLE-SIDED REFLECTIONS
ExampleClient: “I know exercise is important for me. But I just don’t seem to be able to get off the couch.”
Coach: “On the one hand spending time on the couch has appeal, AND on the other hand exercise is important for you.”
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COMPLEX REFLECTIONS – REFLECTING NONVERBAL CUES
60-90% of communication is Nonverbal
• Tone of voice, rate of speech, SILENCE• Facial expressions, eye contact, posture,
gestures, energy, body orientation, etc.This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC
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SIMPLE REFLECTIONS – PRACTICE
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND
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COMPLEX REFLECTION - PRACTICE
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WHOLE HEALTH COACHING
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
What it ISA coaching skill that recognizes and brings attention (in the form of a reflection) to the Client’s:
QualitiesStrengthsEfforts
LearningsProgressSuccesses
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
What it is NOT• Cheerleading• Encouraging• Supporting• Celebrating
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Language of Cheerleading & Encouragement
I like that!
Wonderful!
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Cheerleading
“Wow, that’s awesome!”“I’m impressed!“I love that!”“Awesome!”“Good, good”“Great job!”
Acknowledgment
“You made a lot of progress.”“You showed real determination.”“You made some big changes.”“You’ve learned a lot.”“You have worked hard.”“Your commitment paid off.”
Offering words of acknowledgment as reflections – reflecting qualities, strengths, efforts, learnings, successes and progress
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS – DYAD EXERCISE
Speaker – speak about an accomplishment, success or triumph in your life
Listener – Offer an acknowledgment in the form of a reflection
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
DEBRIEF
What is it like to receive words of acknowledgment that reflect your strengths, successes, and progress?
What do you think the value is in this offering – rather than words of personal praise coming from someone else?
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WHOLE HEALTH COACHING
INQUIRY(QUESTIONING)
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COMMUNICATION SKILL: INQUIRY
This important skill in Coaching comes from other-focused listening and involves two main types of questions . . .
Closed-ended Questions
Open-ended Questions
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CLOSED-ENDED QUESTIONS
Easily answered with either Yes / No Generally do not lead to new insight / understanding Can be useful as a transition, e.g., “Are you ready to set a goal?” When asking permission, e.g., “May I offer you some resources?”
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OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS
Usually requires more than a yes / no, or one- word response Explore what is important or valued, often encourages person
to talk and volunteer new information Generally leads to deeper insight and gets at what is not
immediately obvious, i.e. “What?” “How?” “Tell me more about…”
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OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS
Comes out of other-focused listening and is present or future focused
Reflects curiosity for the sake of the other (vs. for the sake of the coach)
What about “Why” Questions?
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OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS
Ask the question – remember to bottom-line
Wait for the answer - this may mean a moment of silence. Remember the pause. You do not have to fill the space.
Listen to what is said and reflect
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INQUIRY – DYAD EXERCISE
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INQUIRY – DYAD EXERCISE
Speaker – Share for 1 minute on any of the questions on your handout
Listener – Ask a follow-up question. Note if it is open or closed.
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND
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WHOLE HEALTH COACHING
OVERVIEW OF THE WHOLE HEALTH COACHING PROCESS MODEL
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HEALTH COACHING PROCESS MODEL
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WHOLE HEALTH COACHING
HEALTH COACHING PROCESS MODEL -STAGE I
MISSION/ASPIRATION/PURPOSE
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VIDEO
Dream Rangers—What Do You Live For?
https://youtu.be/bp7S56aoIhU
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DREAMS & ASPIRATIONS - REFLECTION
1. What were some dreams/aspirations you had when you were younger?
2. Are you in any way currently living out those dreams/aspirations? If so, How?
3. What are some dreams/aspirations you have for yourself in the future?
4. What do your dreams/aspirations tell you about what is important to you now (values)?
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DREAMS & ASPIRATIONS - SHARING
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DREAMS & ASPIRATIONS - SHARING
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND
Speaker – Share for 3 minutes on one or more of the questions from the reflection activity
Listener – Use other-focused listening, reflecting, and open-ended questions to dig deeper
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DEVELOPING A PERSONAL MISSION (MAP)AND CREATING A VISION
One Way to Start a Conversation
• “What’s the matter?”
• “What concerns you about your health?”
• “What are your problems today?”
A Different Way to Start a Conversation
• “What matters most?”
• “What do you want your health for?”
• “What is your vision of your best possible health?”
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WHOLE HEALTH COACHING
VALUES AND VALUE CONFLICTS
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VALUES
Thinking about values…..
•Some are identified easily
•Other values become clear only with deeper exploration
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EXPLORING VALUES
Jot down values that are important to you right now.
• Which of these values are priorities in your life right now?
• Which of these do you want more of?
• Which do you find sometimes “compete” with each other?
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IDENTIFYING OTHERS’ VALUES
How do you know what’s important to someone else (their values)?
• Ask them
• Notice actions/behaviors
• Listen for emotions
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PEAK EXPERIENCE – DYAD EXERCISE
Share a peak experience (positive “highlight”/special time in your life).
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA-NC
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FRUSTRATING EXPERIENCE – DYAD EXERCISE
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC
Share a frustrating experience (something that “gets on your nerves”,
leaves you irritated or annoyed).
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DAILY FEEDBACK SURVEY
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• Your feedback is important to us
• We love specificity!
• Your feedback informs and impacts our course content and revisions
• Please take 3-4 minutes to offer us feedback
• Rejoin the group for any additional assignments, input, and questions you might have for us