session 3 honor parents - razor planet

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The PointHonor for parents is seen in our words and actions.

The PassageExodus 20:12; 2 Samuel 15:7-14

The Bible Meets Life My mom and dad made it abundantly clear when I was growing up that if I misbehaved at school, there would be consequences at home. My dad, especially, cut no slack when it came to breaking the rules at school or anywhere else. In fact, my father “ruined” many a Saturday night during my youth: as I went out the front door, he’d say, “When you are out there tonight, remember that your last name is Evans.”

Obviously, I knew my name; he didn’t need to remind me. But he was reminding me my name represented something bigger than just me. Our family’s name stood for honesty, integrity, morality, and dignity in the community. In short, it represented a commitment to Christian living, and my dad didn’t want me to do anything to jeopardize the testimony of that name.

That reminder always stayed in my mind as I made youthful choices. I sought to honor my dad and the value he taught me to put in our name. I wanted to honor the name he had given to me.

The SettingGod instructed the Israelites about how they were to live as His covenant people—not only in relation to Him but also in relation to other people. One of the foundational commands related to others was the importance of honoring parents. When they disobeyed this commandment, however, the result was heartache and trouble. These consequences were clearly seen in King David’s family, when his son Absalom rebelled against him.

SESSION 3

Honor Parents

36 Se S Sion 3© 2020 LifeWay Christian Resources

Honor for parents is seen in our words and actions.T HE P OIN T

5 MINUTES

GET INTO THE STUDYACTIVITY (OPTIONAL): In advance, prepare a video clip of a famous person reminiscing about a favorite memory with his or her parents . Then ask Question 1.

NOTE: A video option can be found at BibleStudiesForLife .com/AdultExtra .

DISCUSS: Question #1 on page 29 of the PSG: “What’s your favorite memory with one of your parents?” Allow time for each person to respond .

GUIDE: Direct group members to “The Bible Meets Life” on page 30 of the PSG . Introduce the importance of honoring our parents by reading or summarizing the text or by encouraging group members to read it on their own .

GUIDE: Call attention to “The Point” on page 30 of the PSG: “Honor for parents is seen in our words and actions.”

ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL): Use the Testimony option on page 45 of this Leader Guide to help group members relate to “The Point.”

LEADER PACK: Display Pack Item 4, the “Map of David’s Story in 1 & 2 Samuel” poster, to give background and context to this session .

PRAY: Transition into the study by asking God to help group members understand the importance of honoring our parents through our words and actions . Thank Him for the gift of parents and for being our perfect heavenly Father .

BI BL E S T U DI E S F OR L I F E 37© 2020 LifeWay Christian Resources

Exodus 20:1212 Honor your father and your mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

READ: Ask a group member to read aloud Exodus 20:12 on page 31 of the PSG .

GUIDE: Use the commentary for the verses on the next page of this Leader Guide to help explain the importance of God’s design for the human family .

RECAP: What is “honor”? The Greek word for honor means “to value highly, to hold in highest regard .” This holds true at any age . There may be disagreement regarding the age when children are no longer required to obey their parents, but children never reach an age when they don’t owe their parents honor .

God made it unequivocally clear that honor and respect are critical elements in every home . God is serious about honoring parents because God understands the whole picture . He knows it is not simply about having a good day or a peaceful home; honor is tied to advancing His kingdom on earth .

DISCUSS: Question #2 on page 31 of the PSG: “What are some ways we show honor to our parents?”

SUMMARIZE: Highlight the main points from page 32 of the PSG . So how can we show honor? Let me suggest three categories of honor:

> Emotional Honor. We honor our parents by spending time with them . Some parents are in retirement homes and care centers and are lacking honor from their grown children . Someone may say, “But you don’t know about my mother . She was a terrible mother,” or “My father was bad news .” No matter what, he or she is still your parent, and the command to honor our parents comes from God Himself .

> Verbal Honor. When I went home, I didn’t say to my father, “Hey, Art . How’s it going?” It was “Yes, sir” and “No, sir .” Whether a parent is right or wrong, we are still to speak with respect .

> Financial Honor. Honoring our parents means we have a financial responsibility for them when they can no longer take care of themselves . It means seeing to their well-being when they need our assistance .

TRANSITION: We are to honor the parents God has placed in our lives . In the next verses, we see that we are to honor acts with truthfulness and integrity toward our parents .

STUDY THE BIBLE

10 MINUTES

ALTERNATE QUESTION:

What are some similarities and differences between honoring your parents and honoring God?


T HE P OIN T Honor for parents is seen in our words and actions.

Exodus 20:12 Commentary[VERSE 12] God designed the family as the foundational unit in society. He planned for parents to help children grow to maturity. While parents have a responsibility to nurture and direct their children, children also have a God-given obligation to honor the parents God has placed in their lives. This latter responsibility is the focus of the fifth commandment that God gave to the Israelites at Mount Sinai. It is the second command that is stated positively.

This word from God begins the second part of the Ten Commandments—which emphasizes how people should relate toward one another. It is noteworthy that the command related to parents comes after the commands related to God. In a very real sense, parents (both father and mother) exemplify God to their children. Parents give life to their children through procreation (with God’s help, of course). They are to provide for and protect their children, as well as to love and care for them. They are to instruct, discipline, and guide children to adulthood. Especially for God’s covenant people, however, an even greater responsibility relates to the spiritual instruction of children. In ancient times parents were the primary teachers for their children, guiding them to know the Lord and obey His instructions.

The word honor comes from a Hebrew root that means “to be heavy,” and carries the meanings of weight, honor, and majesty. The term is used both negatively (ex. a heavy burden) and positively (ex. heavy in wealth or respect). In ancient times a person who was “heavy” with possessions was very wealthy. Such an affluent person was typically highly regarded and respected by others. To honor parents means to give them the respect they deserve by valuing them and caring for them. To truly honor our parents we must demonstrate it by the way we speak to (or about) them and how we act toward them.

Note that this command doesn’t end when we reach adulthood and are no longer dependent upon our parents. Jesus rebuked the Jewish religious leaders who held to their tradition instead of following God’s

law. They refused to help their parents financially and excused themselves by claiming they had dedicated those financial resources to God (Matt. 15:3-6).

But honoring parents goes beyond just helping with their financial needs when they are unable to provide for themselves. We honor our parents when we continue to be involved in their lives, not only as we give them our attention, time, and love, but also as we seek their wisdom, listen to them, and remain patient with them (especially when their mental and physical capabilities decline).

While no parent is perfect, some parents have failed in their responsibility to care for and nurture their children in a godly manner. They may have neglected their children, or they could have been abusive to them. Thus it can be hard for some people to feel their parents are worthy of respect. But no matter how we may feel about them at a particular time, God calls us to always treat our parents with the honor He says they deserve. Of course, this command doesn’t require someone to remain in, accept, or condone an abusive relationship. In such a case, honoring one’s father and/or mother may involve removing one’s self from the abusive environment and forgiving the abusive parent(s) in one’s heart.

The resulting long life in the land was more of a communal promise than it was an individual promise. In a general sense, when members of a society don’t honor their parents and other authorities the foundation of society breaks down, which creates chaos and division that will ultimately destroy the society. While the fifth commandment was the first that included a promise (Eph. 6:2), obedience to all of God’s commands was expected if the Israelites wanted to live long lives in the land God was giving them (Deut. 4:40; 32:46-47) and experience His continual blessing (Lev. 26:1-13; Deut. 28:1-14). Even so, God later noted one of the reasons the nation was destroyed and the people were taken captive to a foreign land was because they treated their parents “with contempt” (Ezek. 22:7,15).


STUDY THE BIBLE

2 Samuel 15:7-127 When four years had passed, Absalom said to the king, “Please let me go to Hebron to fulfill a vow I made to the Lord. 8 For your servant made a vow when I lived in Geshur of Aram, saying: If the Lord really brings me back to Jerusalem, I will worship the Lord in Hebron.” 9 “Go in peace,” the king said to him. So he went to Hebron. 10 Then Absalom sent agents throughout the tribes of Israel with this message: “When you hear the sound of the ram’s horn, you are to say, ‘Absalom has become king in Hebron!’” 11 Two hundred men from Jerusalem went with Absalom. They had been invited and were going innocently, for they did not know the whole situation. 12 While he was offering the sacrifices, Absalom sent for David’s adviser Ahithophel the Gilonite, from his city of Giloh. So the conspiracy grew strong, and the people supporting Absalom continued to increase.

READ: Ask a group member to read aloud 2 Samuel 15:7-12 on page 32 of the PSG .

GUIDE: Use the commentary for the verses on the next page of this Leader Guide to help explain the significance of Absolom going to Hebron .

DISCUSS: Question #3 on page 34 of the PSG: “What are ways our culture shows dishonor to parents?”

RECAP: To further understand what it means to honor parents, we’re going to look at a particularly tragic narrative in Scripture . We will examine the life and character of David’s son Absalom because he serves as an example of what not to do .

Absalom was David’s third son . He was born to David through his fourth wife, Maacah of Geshur . This marriage most likely was rooted in the pursuit of political gain rather than attraction or love . After all, Maacah was the daughter of King Talmai, ruler of a small Aramean city-state . In fact, almost all of David’s marriages were created for the sake of political dominance . No doubt this created an atmosphere of jealousy and infighting among his family members .

DO: Direct group members to Engage with “Parents’ Day” on page 33 of the PSG (page 45 in this Leader Guide) to help them honor their parents .

RECAP: We can’t honor our parents when there’s a lack of integrity in how we talk to them or about them . Absalom provided an example, showing us the consequences when we fail to show honor . Absalom’s dishonoring actions brought great adversity home to the nation of Israel—and death to himself .

TRANSITION: In the next verses, we see that honor seeks the welfare of parents .

10 MINUTES

ALTERNATE QUESTION:

How can we honor our parents even when they disappoint us?



2 Samuel 15:7-12 Commentary[VERSES 7-8] To honor parents means acting with truthfulness and integrity toward them. Unfortunately, King David’s son Absalom chose not to honor his father. The rape and disgrace of David’s daughter Tamar by her half-brother Amnon (2 Sam. 13:1-20), led to the revenge killing of Amnon by his half-brother Absalom (Tamar’s brother) and Absalom’s exile to another country where he lived for three years (vv. 21-38). David eventually allowed Absalom to return to Jerusalem, though the king did not see his son for another two years (14:1-28). When they finally experienced a reunion, it was apparently less than a total reconciliation (v. 33). Absalom, who apparently resented how David had kept him at a distance the previous five years, was preparing for an act that would bring not only dishonor to his father but also turmoil to the country. Absalom, as David’s oldest living son, was the heir apparent to the throne of Israel.1 He was not, however, content to wait for the transition and thus began a campaign to win the favor of the people of Israel, undermine David’s leadership, and usurp his father’s position.

Sometime after his apparent reconciliation with King David, Absalom carried out his plans to take control. Absalom requested permission to go to Hebron, which was nineteen miles south of Jerusalem. Absalom, who deceptively referred to himself as the king’s servant, went on to clarify his request. After killing his half-brother Amnon, Absalom had fled Jerusalem and lived in Geshur, a small city-state in Aram (Syria). This was his mother Maacah’s home, where his grandfather Talmai was king (3:3; 13:37). With pious-sounding words Absalom explained that he had vowed to worship the Lord in Hebron if God would bring him back to Jerusalem. Thus David may not have had any concerns about Absalom going there.

[VERSE 9] King David gave his permission, speaking the last three words he would ever say to Absalom: “Go in peace.” Beyond a simple parting phrase, these words often indicated the speaker’s approval and support of another person’s planned activity.

Thus Absalom went to Hebron with David’s blessing, to initiate the insurrection he had evidently been planning for years.

[VERSE 10] Absalom gave instructions to his supporters that upon hearing the signal from the ram’s horn, they would proclaim the message, “Absalom has become king in Hebron!” When the announcement was made throughout the land, Absalom’s supporters would have stepped up to help David’s son seize control of the kingdom, perhaps sharing the news and urging others to acknowledge the new king. Many Israelites might have been surprised by the news, but because communication in ancient times was often slow and incomplete they would most likely assume David either had died or had appointed Absalom as his successor.

[VERSE 11] Absalom had made the strategic move of inviting two hundred men from Jerusalem to accompany him to Hebron. These may have been prominent officials in King David’s government whose presence could have made Absalom’s journey seem legitimate. But their presence in Hebron could also have weakened David’s resistance if some of his key advisors were unavailable to the king or if it appeared they had joined with Absalom’s rebellion. Apparently, these men knew nothing of Absalom’s plot. While they did not support the revolt, once inside the protective walls of Hebron they were in a no-win situation—they could not help David, the legitimate king of Israel, and they would have been killed if they had resisted Absalom.

[VERSE 12] Absalom sent for Ahithophel, who had been an adviser to his father. Scripture does not indicate why Ahithophel joined in Absalom’s rebellion. Whatever the reason, his change of allegiance was a great loss for David and a great victory for Absalom. Ahithophel, however, wasn’t the only person to join the insurgence. The number of people supporting Absalom continued to grow and the conspiracy grew strong.


STUDY THE BIBLE

2 Samuel 15:13-1413 Then an informer came to David and reported, “The hearts of the men of Israel are with Absalom.” 14 David said to all the servants with him in Jerusalem, “Get up. We have to flee, or we will not escape from Absalom! Leave quickly, or he will overtake us quickly, heap disaster on us, and strike the city with the edge of the sword.”

READ: Ask a group member to read aloud 2 Samuel 15:13-14 on page 34 of the PSG .

RECAP: Absalom’s move to become king appeared to be working . He was popular, and one of David’s men reported to him, “The hearts of the men of Israel are with Absalom .” Had this been an election, it would have meant David would have to step down and let Absalom take the office he won by a vote of the people . But defeat in that culture meant death . David rightfully feared for his life and the lives of his people in the face of Absalom’s groundswell of support .

David knew the depth of Absalom’s dishonor . He knew Absalom would not spare him simply because he was his father . Absalom had no concern for his father’s welfare, only his own . Absalom’s dishonor of his father, David, cost him his life . His rebellious pursuit to dethrone his father left him dead .

DISCUSS: Question #4 on page 35 of the PSG: “How did your desire to honor your parents impact your decisions?”

GUIDE: Use the commentary for the verses on the next page of this Leader Guide to help describe the confrontation between Joab and David .

RECAP: What if our own parents were hard to honor? If they left us with a legacy of destruction in our own hearts either through rebellion, bitterness, or any number of things, we must seek to return to the spirit of the Scripture in which God has called us to honor them . One way we help our children to honor us is by honoring them . We do that by admitting to them when we fail and seeking to correct the situation . Confession, honesty, and integrity on our part encourages a lifestyle of honor .

DISCUSS: Question #5 on page 35 of the PSG: “Whom do you know that models the parent-child relationship in a way that honors God?”

GUIDE: Refer back to “The Point” for this session: “Honor for parents is seen in our words and actions .”

15 MINUTES

ALTERNATE QUESTION:

When have you seen God redeem a family from harmful patterns of sin?



2 Samuel 15:13-14 Commentary[VERSE 13] Honoring parents means more than just showing them respect. It also involves seeking their welfare. Absalom, of course, did neither of these as he continued his campaign to usurp the throne of Israel from his father. As the news about Absalom spread throughout the country, David soon heard about it from an informer. This man was apparently loyal to David and probably came to the king when he heard and witnessed what was happening. The men of Israel could be a reference to the army (Judg. 7:23; 20:11,20; 1 Sam. 7:11; 14:24) or simply to citizens. In either case it would have been disturbing for David to learn that the hearts of those men (their loyalty and allegiance) were now with someone else; it would certainly have been disheartening for David to learn that the insurrectionist was none other than his son Absalom.

[VERSE 14] Sometimes bad news is not accurate, as was the case when David heard the incorrect report that Absalom had murdered all of his sons (2 Sam. 13:30,32). Still, David knew the rebellion meant his life could be in danger. Since there were so many unknowns and such a short window of time to take action, David made the decision to flee the city. David was concerned about the loss of life that would occur if Absalom struck the city with the edge of the sword, that is, if fighting broke out in Jerusalem. Perhaps David recalled the massacre many years earlier when all the people and animals in the town of Nob were slaughtered (1 Sam. 22:19) after the priests of the city had aided David as he fled from Saul. Thus David commanded his servants to leave quickly, for if they didn’t, none of them would escape Absalom’s rapid advance. Far from honoring him, David fully expected his son to heap disaster on him and those who were loyal to him.

David and his company journeyed beyond the Jordan River where they organized and prepared for battle. Despite all that Absalom had done, David told his commands to treat Absalom gently for David’s sake (2 Sam. 18:5). David’s forces met Absalom’s forces in battle in the forest of Ephraim (v. 6). Using the terrain

to their advantage, David’s forces were victorious, killing twenty thousand of Absalom’s army in the process (vv. 7-8). During the battle, while riding a mule, Absalom’s head became stuck in an oak tree. Despite David’s plea that Absalom be treated with gentleness, one of David’s commanders, Joab, and his armor bearers killed Absalom (vv. 9-17).

When news was brought to David that his forces had been victorious, David’s first question was if Absalom was all right. Upon hearing the news from a second messenger that Absalom was dead, David responded in grief for his son: “The king was deeply moved and went up to the chamber above the city gate and wept. As he walked, he cried, ‘My son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you, Absalom, my son, my son!’ ” (v. 33).

Joab, seeing the danger in the situation, warned David about his misplaced grief. He told the king that his actions were communicating to all his loyal followers that their lives meant nothing to him and that the king would rather all his followers be dead and his traitorous son still alive (19:1-6). Joab rebuked David, telling him to go out and speak to his troops or his situation would be even worse than what had happened with Absalom’s rebellion (v. 7). David’s heeded Joab’s advice and in doing so most likely saved his kingship (v. 8).1. David’s second son, Chileab (2 Sam. 2:3-5) or Daniel (1 Chron. 3:1-4), is not mentioned in the line of succession. Scholars suggest various reasons for this, one of which is that since Chileab’s life is not detailed in Scripture this indicates that he died early in his life. See Robert D. Bergen, 1,2 Samuel, vol. 7, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1996), 305-306.

Previous Biblical Illustrator articles “Absalom’s Struggle for the Throne” (Fall 2008), “Absalom: David’s Son” (Summer 2002), and “Parents’ Roles in the Ancient World” (Winter 1988) relate to this lesson and can be found in the Leader Pack’s digital files or can be purchased, along with other articles for this quarter, at www.lifeway.com/biblicalillustrator. Look for Bundles: Bible Studies for Life.


GUIDE: Direct group members to page 36 of the PSG . Encourage them to choose one of the following applications:

> Repent. We have all failed in one way or another when it comes to showing our parents honor or living honorably so that our children will honor us . Confess and repent of any sins of dishonor you have had or any ways you have made it difficult for your children to honor you .

> Model. Determine to be a model of truthfulness and integrity in front of all people: your children, your grandchildren, and the children of others .

> Act. Carry out a tangible act of honor . Do something to help and support your parents . Write a letter . Even if your parents are no longer living, you can show them honor by how you talk about them . If this is you, share with someone the role your parents played in your life and how God used them to shape you into who you are today .

Wrap It UpTRANSITION: Read or restate the final paragraph from page 36 of the PSG .

No matter what family history you have been given, I urge you to choose the path of love, respect, and honor from this day forward .

ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL): Use the Greeting Card option on page 45 of this Leader Guide to give group members an opportunity to honor their parents .

PRAY: Thank God for the gift of parents . Ask Him to help group members find meaningful ways of showing them honor in the days ahead .

LIVE IT OUT

5 MINUTES

Grow with other group leaders at the Groups Ministry blog. LifeWay .com/GroupMinistry



ENGAGEParents’ Day. Every day ought to be Parents’ Day as we honor God by honoring our mothers and fathers. In the space below, compose a brief greeting card for this occasion.

BONUS CONTENTACTIVITY (OPTIONAL): In advance, invite a group member (or several with much different perspectives) to share a testimony about his or her parents and how they have learned to honor them throughout their lives.

ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL): In advance, bring a box of greeting cards and pens. Invite group members to write cards honoring one or both parents. If that’s not possible, invite them to write the card to others who have fulfilled that role in their lives. They can copy the same note they wrote for the PSG activity if they’d like or write another.


session 3 honor parents - razor planet

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