session two financial mastery & freedom 3 skills to ...€¦ · session two financial mastery...

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ARRIVE: Career Success Training for Maximum Wealth, Achievement, and Fulfillment

© Lisa Brown & Associates 2014 www.thecouragetowin.com. All Rights Reserved.

Session Two Financial Mastery & Freedom

3 Skills to Creating the Wealth You Deserve

To create the wealth you deserve, there are three essential skills we must master: attracting, saving, and investing money.

However, before we can master these ‘outer game’ skills, we must master our ‘inner game’ of money. Our ‘inner game’ of money is our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and attitudes towards money.

A Bad Map = A Bad Trip

In his Money Making Blueprint program, Eben Pagan notes that a bad map = a bad trip, and that “most people have a map about making money that is 50% right and 50% wrong.”

What Pagan is saying is that while we all believe we see reality correctly, it’s more accurate to say that we have a map of reality in our head. This applies to money as well as everything else in life – and the better the map, the better the trip.

This is why we must start by cleaning up our ‘inner game’ of money, because once we decide to pursue wealth, most of us focus exclusively on the OUTER GAME of money such as the “how-to” of making and investing it.

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Questions like, “What job will pay me the most money?” and “What could I invest in?” dominate our thoughts.

What happens next is both predictable and confusing. Despite trying new jobs, businesses, or investments, most people are baffled to discover that their financial situation improves only slightly (if at all). They’ve taken action, but nothing has really changed.

How is this possible?

It’s possible because we’ve neglected our INNER GAME of money. This is our emotional programming about money, or what Secrets of the Millionaire Mind author T. Harv Eker calls our “money blueprint”.

Our Money Blueprint

Our money blueprint works like a financial thermostat. It dictates the exact amount of money we earn regardless of our competence, experience, or skills. No matter how much money we consciously want, our unconscious “money blueprint” governs how much wealth we actually create. Says Eker: “A perfect example is lottery winners. Research has shown again and again that regardless of the size of their winnings, most lottery winners eventually return to their original financial state, the amount they can comfortably handle.

The Millionaire Mindset

On the other hand, the opposite occurs for self-made millionaires. Notice that when self-made millionaires lose their money, they usually have it back within a relatively short period of time. Donald Trump is a good example. Trump was worth billions, lost everything, and then a couple of years later, got it back again and more.”2

Our “money blueprint” comes from our beliefs and emotions about money. Unfortunately, most of us have a limiting money blueprint due to our negative beliefs and fears about money. These include money guilt, money shame, feeling unworthy of massive wealth, anger about past money mistakes or misfortune, and confusing money with love.

Recently I worked with a client who confided in me a financial plan that would earn him $100,000.00 a month if he put it into effect. This individual has never earned more than over $10,000 a month in his life. When he finished telling me his plan, he said to me, “You must think I’m a crazy!”

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“Interesting comment. Obviously, you are projecting that attitude onto me,” I replied. Why are you doing that?”

“I guess that somewhere deep inside, I don’t really feel worthy of making that much,” he confessed.

Step 1 – Your Money Blueprint What is the exact amount of money you feel comfortable making in a year? Hint: it is likely very close to the amount you are earning right now. Write it in the space below.

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Inner Game Secret #1 Face Your Financial Fears

People who achieve financial freedom do not avoid, ignore, or suppress their money stress. They face it. They face it day after day, week and week, and year after year. In fact, it is a trade secret of all financially successful people.

To illustrate: In The Millionaire Next Door, authors Thomas Stanley and Wiliam Danko report that the majority of self-made millionaires budget and track every penny.

They know how much they spend on groceries, gas, and every other household line-item. This leads the authors to conclude: “Planning and controlling consumption are key factors underlying wealth accumulation.”

Why is it hard to develop this habit? Because to doing so makes us face our deepest fears about money.

Years ago, I made what I thought was a simple decision to cut business expenses. I made a list of behaviours congruent with this goal. They were:

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1. Develop a more detailed business monthly budget 2. Pay all company bills myself for at least six months 3. Review company costs every 30 days against the budget

The behaviours were actually quite easy, but I was surprised to discover I had a lot of resistance to actually doing them. I was afraid. Of what? For starters, I was afraid I was a bad business person. I was so embarrassed of the financial mess I’d created by delegating the financial management of the company.

As an example, we were paying three times as much for software fees as we should have, simply because no one had looked into the matter. “Shame, shame on you. How could you miss this? You’re the boss!” I can still hear the voice in my head.

Then there was the fear of asserting myself with people over money. The act of cancelling monthly fees proved monstrously difficult. Vendors put me on hold, ignored me, and treated me with annoyance. Two of them pretended my account was cancelled and kept billing me anyway!

“Don’t admit you want the money. People will think you’re poor, a failure!” I remember thinking until I gave my head a shake. “Let ‘em,” I fought back in my mind.

Within one month I’d slashed costs by 30%. Within two months, profits were up 25%. But the real victory was emotional. I’d faced my fear of looking (and, for that matter, being) poor and unsuccessful.

I’ve noticed that most of us we believe our earning ability is a reflection of the kind of person we are (good or bad), how much talent or brains we have, and how hard we work.

If this describes you, then if you are not earning the amount of money you want, you will secretly fear there is something wrong with you and that you don’t deserve money.

For most people, this fear originated from their helplessness about being able to get what they want from caregivers/parents. People who didn’t get much love from their parents will usually transfer their learned helplessness to money – creating for themselves a low “money blueprint” and a restricted earning Comfort Zone in the process.

The fear that you cannot earn a lot of money doing what you love is just a stronger version of this same fear.

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When you try to earn money doing something you love, you are putting yourself “out there” emotionally even more than usual. It is so personal thing that you literally feel as though you are asking the marketplace, “Do you like me? Do you like me? Do you like me?”

Step 2 - Your Worst Money Fears Please write down your worst fear about money. It is going broke? Never earning more than a certain amount? Eating dog food in retirement? Losing money in an investment? Not being able to get a job? Being laid off? Not getting a promotion or raise? No one buying your wares or services? Making a bad spending decision?

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Step 3 - Your Worst Money Fears About Yourself Earning Money

Do you feel unworthy of earning or receiving large sums of money? If so, why? Do you think that you not hard-working enough, talented enough, smart enough, of a high enough social class, or just not a nice enough person to deserve it? Which one? How does fear this show up in your life? Do you refuse to sell? Ask for raises and promotions? Refuse to apply for opportunities? Neglect to pursue better paying options? Avoid rejection at all costs by isolating yourself?

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Step 4 - Saving Money Do you spend money to avoid feeling inadequate or shameful? What specifically are you worried is wrong with you? Please write down your worst fear about yourself that saying NO to buying things triggers (e.g., you are dumb, incompetent, a failure, that you don’t have a right to exist, that you are not worthy of the finer things), etc. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Step 5 - Investing Money If you invested and lost a large sum of money, what would your worst fear about yourself be? That you are foolish, greedy, or just plain dumb? Please put the fear into words and write it down below.

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Step 6 - Healing Your Money Fears Healing your money fears, just like any fear, starts with good old-fashioned self-acceptance. This means experiencing your fears without resistance.

But remember, I am not asking you to accept an unsatisfactory situation like debt or poverty. I am merely only asking you to open to your fears about money emotionally using emotional visualization so you can remove their power over you.

In Emotional Clearing, author John Ruskan explains the concept of acceptance: “When something is accepted, the barriers of the mind to direct experience – to the feeling of the event – are taken down. When you are feeling, you are not suppressing; you are in the moment….If you discover subconscious feelings of disapproval, resentment, or hatred towards yourself, you must handle them carefully. Such feelings might be thought of as self-rejecting; paradoxically, this s not so if you can accept the feelings…Allow feelings of self-hatred to exist without guilt…Unhappiness is easier to accept if you can grasp the dualistic nature of existence…Paradoxically, you start to experience a different, non-dualistic kind of happiness, and happiness that does not depend on circumstances.”

What Ruskan is saying is that when you experience your fears, you take their potential negative power away, because what gives them power is our resistance to them. It is resisting fears that makes them a negative force in our lives. When we resist our fears, we weaken our ability to take the Congruent Behaviours needed to earn, invest, and save money.

When you turn and face your fear by experiencing it without resistance, you heal your fear – not by making it disappear necessarily, but because you are not letting your fear distress you or make you passive. It is a part of you that you accept unconditionally, that you listen to, and then move on from.

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Here are two Emotional Visualization exercises for money mastery.

Step 7 - Emotional Visualization I want you to connect to your earliest memory of not being able to get money or significant emotional support from a parent or caregiver. Fold your hands over your heart and visualize the mental image that symbolizes your helplessness at not being able to get what you want. Breathe deeply and connect with this helplessness. Allow yourself to explore it. Accept the feeling without resistance and with open arms.

Now I want you to invoke your higher self. Gently remind yourself that your parent or caregiver is a human being who made a mistake. Remind yourself that this person’s resistance to supporting you had nothing to do with you. Realize that you are able to get love, support, caring, and money from many, many sources and people in this life. Know in your heart that you deserve and are worthy of all good things, including money. Bring forward a visual image that symbolizes feeling powerful and capable to get what you what from people and the universe. Allow this feeling of confidence and joy to grow stronger as an energetic experience.

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Step 8 - Emotional Visualization Select the top money challenge you are facing in your life right now. Breathe deeply and if the image evokes fear in you, let it be there without resistance. Connect with this fear and let yourself explore it. Do not worry that it is true; if the fact that you bought into the fear traumatizes you, let your sadness over this happen. Remember that whatever you fear about yourself is only a feeling, not the truth; and even if there is grain of truth to it, you can accept the fear. Accepting the fear means experiencing without resistance as part of you. Now I want you to connect with your personal confidence – your belief that you can solve this problem and earn, save, and invest the money you want in your life. Bring forward a visual image that symbolizes success with money for you.

Allow the feeling to grow stronger as an energetic experience. Connect with the feeling as much as possible.

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Inner Game Secret #2 Create Hope

Instead of giving in to fear and learned helplessness about money, rich people use deep mental toughness secret #2, which is:

Create Hope When adversity hits, use your imagination to create hope.

When you live out of your imagination long enough to dream, you bring earning, saving, and investing money into your Comfort Zone so you can take the actions needed to master money. Earlier I mentioned that most people believe their earning power is a direct result of how good, talented, smart, or hard-working they are. To create hope about earning money, the first thing you need to do is realize that this way of thinking is incorrect. Money does not work this way.

The marketplace does not care who is offering them the products or services they want, or how smart, talented, or nice these individuals are. The marketplace is neutral. All the marketplace cares about is getting what it wants at a fair price. In my travels I’ve even seen people do deals with people they hate – as long as the deal meets their needs.

That’s why Dan S. Kennedy says, “Being an exceptionally talented person alone is not sufficient. Being a moral, spiritual, “good”, deserving person alone is not sufficient. In a purely fair marketplace, it might be. But it isn’t….You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you deliberately and intentionally attract not only by who you are but also by what you say, do, and get others to do.”

Remember, the law of Congruent Behaviour reigns supreme. Given the neutrality of marketplace, if you do what other people who earn a lot of money do, you too will earn a lot of money -- regardless of the kind of person you are.

In his autobiography Cold Hard Truth, Kevin O’Leary, the tough-talking star of the TV’s Dragon’s Den and Shark Tank, agrees that when it comes to earning money, action is what counts.

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O’Leary started out with a one product software company in a humble home office. At first, manufacturers weren’t interested in working with a one product company. Then it dawned on O’Leary that he could just copy Microsoft and ask manufacturers to bundle his software with their hardware.

What happened next?

Says O’Leary: “I picked up the phone. Let me repeat that. I. Picked. Up. The. Phone. So many entrepreneurs with great ideas get stalled at this juncture…Too many great ideas die at the feet of those afraid to pick up the phone because they don’t want to face potential rejection. And trust me, if you do take the risk of reaching out to venture capitalists and prominent executives, you will be rejected. Plenty of times.”

O’Leary took action, and the rest is history.

The law of Congruent Behaviour levels the playing field. The truth is that you don’t need to be born of a certain class, or have the integrity of a Nelson Mandela or the brilliance of a Steve Jobs to earn a great deal of money. You simply need to be willing to do what affluent people do when it comes to earning, saving, and investing money.

And by living out of your imagination long enough to dream, you bring earning, saving, and investing money into your Comfort Zone, making these behaviours second nature to you.

Here are the top five Congruent Behaviours shared by people who become financially free:

The Affluent Are Business Owners

According to the millionaire next door, “Twenty percent of the affluent households in America are headed by retirees. Of the remaining 80 percent, more than two-thirds are headed by self-employed owners of businesses, these self-employed people are four times more likely to be millionaires than those who work for others.” There are three reasons for this: a) there is no ceiling on your income, and b) the tax laws are written to for you, which means you keep considerably more of your money and c) a business is an asset which brings you passive income. Rather than trade your time for money, you build a financial asset with your time.

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Step 9 - Creating Hope About Earning Money

Remember, stepping outside your Comfort Zone is as easy as recognizing that this Zone is really our learned helplessness at work – and then invoking our imagination.

1. Assuming you do not own a business currently, what kind of business would be suitable for you to begin part-time? What would make the most money while expressing your personal strengths? If you do own a business, briefly describe it.

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2. Write down the biggest problem you feel is standing in your way of starting a business now. If you do own a business, write down the biggest problem standing in your way of making more money in it.

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3. What frustrations or failures have you had trying to solve this problem in the past? Be extremely detailed in your answer - leave no stone unturned.

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4. Why did you fail?

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5. How are you being passive with learned helplessness (either with starting a business or making more money with your business)? What have you given up on achieving? What actions are you not taking out of pessimism?

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Emotional Visualization Imagine yourself as the owner of a successful business that perfectly complements your interests and strengths. Imagine the business in tremendous detail – from the clients you serve to the products or services you offer to the feelings of satisfaction and pride

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this business gives you. If a business is not a fit for you, imagine a project (such as purchasing a rental property) that will bring you added income without you making a change in your current job. Now I want you to connect with your personal confidence – your belief that you can start a venture that brings you the financial rewards you deserve. Bring forward a visual image that symbolizes success with money for you. Allow the feeling to grow stronger as an energetic experience. Connect with the feeling as much as possible.

The Affluent Sell

People who achieve financial freedom know how to sell products and services or ideas. They understand that the only way to earn wealth is to persuade others to give you money or support.

In Rich Dad’s Guide to Investing, Robert T. Kiyosaki writes, “Once I decided to build a business, the next problem facing me was that I had no money. First, I did not know how to build a business. Second I had no money to build a business with, and third, I had no money to live on. Feeling weak in the stomach and lacking confidence in myself, I called rich dad and asked him what I should do. He said immediately, ‘Go get a job.’ His reply shocked me. “I thought you were telling me to start my own business,” I said.

‘Yes I did. But you still have to eat and put a roof over your head,’ he said. What he said to me next I have passed on to countless people. ‘Rule number one in becoming an entrepreneur is to never take a job for money. Take a job only for the long-term skills you will learn.’ He recommended I learn to sell, not for the money but to learn to overcome my personal fears…For two years, I was the worst salesperson in the Honolulu branch. I took extra classes on selling as well as bought tapes and listened to them. Finally, after nearly being fired several times, I began to make sales. Although I was still painfully shy, the sales training helped me develop the skills I needed to acquire wealth.”

Step 11 - Creating Hope About Selling

1. Write down the ideas, products, or services you will need to sell successful in order to be financially successful. (If you have a job, you will need to sell ideas every day).

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2. What frustrations or failures have you had trying to sell these ideas, products, or services in the past? Be extremely detailed in your answer - leave no stone unturned.

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4. How are you being passive like the elephants with learned helplessness? What have you given up on achieving? What actions are you not taking out of pessimism?

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Emotional Visualization Imagine yourself successfully selling an idea, product or service (including asking for a pay raise or promotion). Visualize the conversation(s) you will need to succeed in making the sale.

Now I want you to connect with your personal confidence – your belief that you can sell and even have fun dong it! Bring forward a visual image that symbolizes success with sales for you. Allow the feeling to grow stronger as an energetic experience. Connect with the feeling as much as possible.

The Affluent Acquire Financial Assets. Assets put money into your pocket. Liabilities cost you money. Example of financial assets include owning a business, real estate, and equities (stock portfolios). Examples of liabilities include cars, TVs, furniture, clothing, and anything you rent (hotels, condos, etc). In How Come That Idiot’s Rich and I’m Not, Robert Shermin writes, “I began to really understand the power of assets form a friend of mine who was a ‘baby’ lawyer in a large law firm…he told the story of his boss. ‘Robert you won’t believe this…While the top lawyers in my firm are pulling down about $200,000 to $300,000 a year, my boss, the firm’s founder, is making about $90,000 an hour, $15,000 very ten minutes!

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The founder of that firm owned an asset—in fact, he owned 160 assets, all of them lawyers…The founder…took a percentage of the money every single lawyer billed…Whenever he accumulated a whole bunch of money, he used it to buy even more assets. He bought real estate, shopping centers, stocks and bonds, other businesses, even racehorses. In that way he kept making more and more wealth.” To acquire financial assets, you’ll need to become financially literate about the type of asset that is most compatible for you.

Step 11 - Creating Hope About Investing Money

1. Write down the type of asset would be best for you to acquire based on your age, temperament, interests, and current knowledge (real estate, stocks, commodities, businesses).

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2. What frustrations or failures have you had trying to become financially literate enough to invest or to acquire these assets? Be extremely detailed in your answer - leave no stone unturned.

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Emotional Visualization Imagine yourself successfully acquiring an asset that will put money in your pocket for the rest of your life. Visualize the conversation(s) you will need to gain the financial literacy and skills needed to make this investment.

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Now I want you to connect with your personal confidence – your belief that you can invest in assets and have fun doing it! Bring forward a visual image that symbolizes success with sales for you. Allow the feeling to grow stronger as an energetic experience. Connect with the feeling as much as possible.

The Affluent Are Frugal

People who are successful with money rarely flaunt their wealth for the obvious reason that they do not like to waste money. Here’s an example, also from The Millionaire Next Door: “…the typical American millionaire reported that he or she never spent more than $399 for a suit of clothing for himself of anyone else.” Ironically, people who spend extravagantly tend to be burdened by debt.

A person I remember who tacked her debt with courage is Jill, a musician: “I was broke, unemployed, and ashamed. I was praying for someone to come and save me from it all. Then I got real.

I had created the debt with my own thinking, ignorance, and lack of commitment to a different outcome. First, I made a decision about what needed to happen. I needed to stop spending money, and start making money.

I allowed myself only the essentials of life: food, lodging, and living expenses. All money went straight to the debt once my bare bones expenses were paid. I got a day job and performed up to 8-10 gigs a week on top of it. I kept up this rhythm for just over a year, and soon I was debt-free and up a bunch of savings. I was tired, but I had handled it MYSELF. I bought a small key chain as my first purchase for myself, in the shape of a heart. It was meant to be a reminder that I would never again let myself get into debt, and that I would continue to build on my savings. I am very proud of this.”

Step 12 - Creating Hope About Saving Money

1. Write down the biggest challenge you are facing right now when it comes to saving money.

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2. What frustrations or failures have you had trying to save money in the past? Be extremely detailed in your answer - leave no stone unturned.

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Emotional Visualization Imagine yourself successfully saving at least 15% of your annual gross income using a monthly plan. Visualize the conversation(s) you will need to have in order to make your plan as well as the daily or weekly actions you’ll need to take to accomplish these savings. Now I want you to connect with your personal confidence – your belief that you can save money have fun doing it! Bring forward a visual image that symbolizes success with sales for you. Allow the feeling to grow stronger as an energetic experience. Connect with the feeling as much as possible.

Ritualize Your Earning and Saving

In Career and Business Mastery we learned that while we can’t rid ourselves of the Comfort Zone, we can USE it by habitual-zing, or ritual-izing the most important Congruent Behaviours we need to take to achieve our goals. Earning Ritual I would like you to select ONE ritual for earning money that, if you executed on it

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consistently, would give you your biggest breakthrough with money. If you own a business, this will be the activity that brings in the most money with the least amount of effort. If you have a job, write down the activity that brings the most value to your organization. Decide what time of day you will do it, and for the next 30 days, do it at the exact same time every day – no matter what. Write your plan for ritualizing it here: Top Priority: ________________________________________________________ Time I Will Work On It Each Day: _______________________________________ Day I Will Start: ______________________________________________________

Saving Ritual I would like you to select ONE top saving ritual that, if you executed on it consistently, would give you your biggest breakthrough with money. Decide what time of day you will do it, and for the next 30 days, do it at the exact same time every day – no matter what. Write your plan for ritualizing it here: Top Priority: ________________________________________________________ Time I Will Work On It Each Day: _______________________________________ Day I Will Start: ______________________________________________________

session two financial mastery & freedom 3 skills to ...€¦ · session two financial mastery...

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