sextant 2011-w04 web

of 3 /3
T here’s something shy on Sexton Campus. In the past two weeks many have noticed the stench of rotting sea life and have asked, “Where is that coming from?”. I don’t care to go near the source to gure that out, but I offer a few hypotheses on the source of the problem: The Architects. These hip- sters eat so much sushi that every time they go to hot yoga, pure sh oil drains out Editor in Chief: Shani Blankrot January 26th 2011 Page 1 CO-OP CORNER Things to Remember: e Co-op website oers many tips and is very infor- mation. e website is engandcompscicoop.dal.ca Round 1 is from January 6 to February 14. Word of the Week e Sextant is published by the Dalhousie Sextant Publishing Society and aims to represent all of the students studying and living on Sexton Campus. Editor: Shani Blankrot Assistant Editor: Dilan Watson Treasurer: Riccardo Ciccarelli If you have any concerns about the paper, please email [email protected] dal.ca Write. Get Paid. Send articles to [email protected] T he inspiration for this article comes from a trip I had on the bus, because I was not able to drive my car for a night. For the rst 3 years of my undergrad, I was doomed to take the Metro Transit to and from school. Yes, I say doomed because there are very few things that I like about the public busses. The busses stop ev- erywhere, they can be late (or even worse, early!) and in general not a very convenient and quick means of travel. I think a lot of students can agree with me on those issues, that Metro Transit has been trying to x up. One thing I can say posi- tively about Metro Transit is that if the bus is quiet, I can nap until I reach my destination. However, the one thing I’d love to complain about is some of the people on the Martin Crawley (5th year Mechanical) Bus Etiquette? Looking for something to do? Not spending enough time mingling with other faculties/ disciplines? en check out some of these events. ursday January 27th Environmental Programs Stu- dents Society ursday February 3rd Mech Society Night, T Room Friday February 4th Munro Day - No Classes Ski Trip Saturday February 5th Pulling for the Kids Pulling for the Kids Aer Party Does your society have an event on Sexton Campus? Send an email to [email protected] and we’ll post it here! Event postings for our rst issue in January are due on January 1st at 5pm. Don't forget that any society on with activities on Sexton Campus is free to advertise with us. Sexton Campus Events Halifax's Best Trivia! The Sextant wants students with ideas. The Sextant wants students with talent. The Sextant wants students with ideas. The Sextant wants students with energy. The Sextant wants you. Paid Editorial and Publishin Board positions are open. Time commitment varies. Inquire [email protected] Fish Stank (n): Sketchy odour eminating throughout and around Sexton campus last week. Origin unknown. Editors’ note: Word of the Week is a humour column based on popular expressions around Sexton Campus. If you have any complaints or suggestions, please e mail [email protected] Obviously we prefer suggestions! bus. Yes, passengers on the bus bother me just as much as any- thing else to do with the Metro Transit. I really think that there should be a set of rules for people once they step on the bus, and if they are already in effect, should be enforced. Irritant #1: People who are con- stantly talking loudly on their cellphones. Not even my iPod can tune these ignorant people out. No, I do not want to know how ridicu- lously trashed you got at that party, or that you are arguing with your signicant other about trivial mat- ters. When you get on the bus, stfu and if need-be, make a QUICK phone call. Irritant #2: Parents who can’t control their children on the bus. I think this is self explanatory. If your kid is in his or her terrible twos, deal with it. Not everyone wants to hear that little snot cry about not getting that toy that they wanted at the mall. I shouldn’t have to deal with your kids atti- tude, or your weak parenting. Irritant #3: People who smell. Does a bar of soap or deodorant mean anything to these people. I understand, you had a hard day at work and may have broke a sweat, but that doesn’t mean you can’t carry a bar of deodorant in your bag and apply it before riding the bus. Irritant #4: People who listen to music loudly. I love listening to my iPod, and jamming while the bus is rolling through downtown. That doesn’t mean I want to listen to your crappy music. I don’t want to have to compete over whose music is more awesome by having to increase the volume of my iPod to drown out yours. Turn down that infernal racket of yours! Irritant #5: People who reserve the seat next to them for their purse or bag when the rest of the bus is full. What makes you think that your bus fare for one seat magically translates into a seat for your bag as well, while all the rest of the passengers have to stand up and suffer for your greediness? On airlines, they charge you extra for more than 1 seat or extra luggage, so why can’t this apply to busses as well? Until that time, keep your bags on your lap, and if you can’t t it on your lap, get a cab. I know a lot of people share in my grief. I should mention that most passengers on the Metro Transit are not annoying and simply go- ing from point A to point B. That’s what Metro Transit is for. It’s just the few who ruin it for the major- ity. Even though I drive my car to school everyday, I can still say I rode the transit, and I feel your pain! If you are a culprit who is reading this article, maybe you will take notes of your annoying actions and end them. L ike many rms have learned, there is always room to cut costs in any industry by deter- mining where the appropriate efciencies can be attained. Scientic management prin- ciples of standardization, lean manufacturing practices, as well as time and motion studies can also breed benets to industrially engineering the worl d of sex. As with everything, time is of the essence. Contrary to the average non-engineering bedroom, in this eld it is believed that the quicker the better. According to Gilbreth, many things are 'Cheaper by the Dozen', which in fact may be one incentive to encourage your loved one(s) to pursue a career in this line of work. Besides time and materials, there are also many costs to account for: a seedy apartment in Dartmouth, a MACPASS, as well as the necessary budget on covering up that C-section sca r. Furthermore, from Engineering Econom- ics we have learned that plastic enhancements can be counted as a depreciable asset, which may constitute rework on account of the wear and tear. So, ensure you optimize its mileage - possibly via a very basic linear program. When presenting this proposal to the bank, outline a business plan, with a detailed process diagram. Venn diagrams are also useful to demonstrate and document the common conundrum of sleeping one's way through university - is it a subset or is the union just a slight overlap? There has been much controversy, but statistics show that a FIFO discipline is best for most cases 19 out of 20 times, because nobody is getting any younger . Prepare appropri - ate control charts, typically with the 3-sigma standard deviation to monitor amounts of venereal disease (VD). Remember, there is no concern if it is not statistically signicant. Finally , remember the key tenants of lean manufactur- ing: What would Frederick Win- slow Taylor do (WWFWTD)? Six Sigma Sex Phil Thibodeau (5th year Mechanical) What’s that smell? Navin Chari (PhD Candidate In- dustrial Engineering) of their pores. All the seagulls by Bud the Spud are actually  just waiting for the architects to get out of class. Environmental Engineers. I’m all for saving the envi- ronment, but let’s keep to taking showers. Who knows what’s stuck in those dread- locks after returning from a trip on the Sea Shephard. Carlton Campus. Rumours are that cutbacks have the med students practicing CPR on Cod and some types of tuna. Or maybe they’re just bored? Either way, some Mentos would help. Dal Business. Those who excel in ipping burgers are sometimes given the chance at making sh and chips. Clearly, this may have been a bit optimistic. Any of these are likely causes, and all should be addressed. It really stinks.

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  • 8/7/2019 Sextant 2011-W04 Web

    1/2

    Theres something fishy on

    Sexton Campus. In the pasttwo weeks many have noticed the

    stench of rotting sea life and have

    asked, Where is that coming

    from?. I dont care to go near

    the source to figure that out, but

    I offer a few hypotheses on the

    source of the problem:

    The Architects. These hip-

    sters eat so much sushi that

    every time they go to hot

    yoga, pure fish oil drains out

    Editor in Chief:Shani Blankrot

    January 26th 2011Page 1

    CO-OP CORNERThings to Remember:

    e Co-op website oers

    many tips and is very infor-mation. e website isengandcompscicoop.dal.ca

    Round 1 is from January 6 toFebruary 14.

    Word of the Week

    e Sextant is published by theDalhousie Sextant PublishingSociety and aims to represent allof the students studying and livingon Sexton Campus.

    Editor: Shani Blankrot

    Assistant Editor: Dilan WatsonTreasurer: Riccardo Ciccarelli

    If you have any concerns aboutthe paper, please email [email protected]

    Write.Get Paid.Send articles to [email protected]

    The inspiration for this articlecomes from a trip I had onthe bus, because I was not able

    to drive my car for a night. For

    the first 3 years of my undergrad,

    I was doomed to take the Metro

    Transit to and from school. Yes, I

    say doomed because there are very

    few things that I like about the

    public busses. The busses stop ev-

    erywhere, they can be late (or even

    worse, early!) and in general not a

    very convenient and quick means

    of travel. I think a lot of students

    can agree with me on those issues,that Metro Transit has been trying

    to fix up. One thing I can say posi-

    tively about Metro Transit is that

    if the bus is quiet, I can nap until

    I reach my destination. However,

    the one thing Id love to complain

    about is some of the people on the

    Martin Crawley

    (5th year Mechanical)

    Bus Etiquette?

    Looking for something to do?Not spending enough time

    mingling with other faculties/disciplines? en check outsome of these events.

    ursday January 27thEnvironmental Programs Stu-dents Society

    ursday February 3rdMech Society Night, T Room

    Friday February 4thMunro Day - No ClassesSki Trip

    Saturday February 5thPulling for the KidsPulling for the Kids Aer Party

    Does your society have anevent on Sexton Campus? Sendan email to [email protected] andwell post it here!

    Event postings for our rstissue in January are due onJanuary 1st at 5pm. Don'tforget that any society on withactivities on Sexton Campus isfree to advertise with us.

    Sexton Campus

    Events

    Halifax's Best Trivia!

    The Sextant wants

    students with

    ideas.

    The Sextant wants

    students with

    talent.

    The Sextant wants

    students with

    ideas.

    The Sextant wants

    students with

    energy.

    The Sextant wants you.

    Paid Editorial and Publishin

    Board positions are open.

    Time commitment varies.

    Inquire [email protected]

    Fish Stank (n): Sketchy odoureminating throughout and aroundSexton campus last week. Originunknown.

    Editors note: Word of the Week is a humour columnbased on popular expressions around Sexton Campus.If you have any complaints or suggestions, please e [email protected] Obviously we prefer suggestions!

    bus. Yes, passengers on the bus

    bother me just as much as any-

    thing else to do with the Metro

    Transit. I really think that there

    should be a set of rules for people

    once they step on the bus, and if

    they are already in effect, should

    be enforced.

    Irritant #1: People who are con-

    stantly talking loudly on their

    cellphones. Not even my iPod can

    tune these ignorant people out. No,

    I do not want to know how ridicu-

    lously trashed you got at that party,

    or that you are arguing with your

    significant other about trivial mat-

    ters. When you get on the bus, stfu

    and if need-be, make a QUICK

    phone call.

    Irritant #2: Parents who cant

    control their children on the bus.

    I think this is self explanatory. If

    your kid is in his or her terrible

    twos, deal with it. Not everyone

    wants to hear that little snot cry

    about not getting that toy that they

    wanted at the mall. I shouldnt

    have to deal with your kids atti-

    tude, or your weak parenting.

    Irritant #3: People who smell.

    Does a bar of soap or deodorant

    mean anything to these people. I

    understand, you had a hard day at

    work and may have broke a sweat,

    but that doesnt mean you cant

    carry a bar of deodorant in your

    bag and apply it before riding the

    bus.

    Irritant #4: People who listen to

    music loudly. I love listening to

    my iPod, and jamming while the

    bus is rolling through downtown.

    That doesnt mean I want to listen

    to your crappy music. I dont want

    to have to compete over whose

    music is more awesome by having

    to increase the volume of my iPod

    to drown out yours. Turn down

    that infernal racket of yours!

    Irritant #5: People who reserve

    the seat next to them for their

    purse or bag when the rest of the

    bus is full. What makes you think

    that your bus fare for one seat

    magically translates into a seat for

    your bag as well, while all the rest

    of the passengers have to stand up

    and suffer for your greediness? On

    airlines, they charge you extra for

    more than 1 seat or extra luggage,

    so why cant this apply to busses

    as well? Until that time, keep your

    bags on your lap, and if you cant

    fit it on your lap, get a cab.

    I know a lot of people share in my

    grief. I should mention that most

    passengers on the Metro Transit

    are not annoying and simply go-

    ing from point A to point B. Thats

    what Metro Transit is for. Its just

    the few who ruin it for the major-

    ity. Even though I drive my car

    to school everyday, I can still say

    I rode the transit, and I feel your

    pain! If you are a culprit who is

    reading this article, maybe you

    will take notes of your annoying

    actions and end them.

    Like many firms have learned,there is always room to cutcosts in any industry by deter-

    mining where the appropriate

    efficiencies can be attained.

    Scientific management prin-

    ciples of standardization, lean

    manufacturing practices, as well

    as time and motion studies can

    also breed benefits to industrially

    engineering the world of sex. As

    with everything, time is of the

    essence. Contrary to the average

    non-engineering bedroom, in this

    field it is believed that the quicker

    the better. According to Gilbreth,

    many things are 'Cheaper by the

    Dozen', which in fact may be

    one incentive to encourage your

    loved one(s) to pursue a career

    in this line of work. Besides

    time and materials, there are

    also many costs to account for:

    a seedy apartment in Dartmouth,

    a MACPASS, as well as the

    necessary budget on covering up

    that C-section scar. Furthermore,

    from Engineering Econom-

    ics we have learned that plastic

    enhancements can be counted as

    a depreciable asset, which may

    constitute rework on account of

    the wear and tear. So, ensure you

    optimize its mileage - possibly

    via a very basic linear program.

    When presenting this proposal to

    the bank, outline a business plan,

    with a detailed process diagram.

    Venn diagrams are also useful to

    demonstrate and document the

    common conundrum of sleeping

    one's way through university - is

    it a subset or is the union just a

    slight overlap? There has been

    much controversy, but statistics

    show that a FIFO discipline is

    best for most cases 19 out of 20

    times, because nobody is getting

    any younger. Prepare appropri-

    ate control charts, typically with

    the 3-sigma standard deviation

    to monitor amounts of venereal

    disease (VD). Remember, there is

    no concern if it is not statistically

    significant. Finally, remember the

    key tenants of lean manufactur-

    ing: What would Frederick Win-

    slow Taylor do (WWFWTD)?

    Six Sigma Sex

    Phil Thibodeau

    (5th year Mechanical)

    Whats that smell?

    Navin Chari

    (PhD Candidate In-

    dustrial Engineering)

    of their pores. All the seagulls

    by Bud the Spud are actually

    just waiting for the architects

    to get out of class.

    Environmental Engineers.

    Im all for saving the envi-

    ronment, but lets keep to

    taking showers. Who knowswhats stuck in those dread-

    locks after returning from a

    trip on the Sea Shephard.

    Carlton Campus. Rumours

    are that cutbacks have the

    med students practicing CPR

    on Cod and some types of

    tuna. Or maybe theyre just

    bored? Either way, some

    Mentos would help.

    Dal Business. Those who

    excel in flipping burgers are

    sometimes given the chance

    at making fish and chips.

    Clearly, this may have been a

    bit optimistic.

    Any of these are likely causes,

    and all should be addressed. It

    really stinks.

  • 8/7/2019 Sextant 2011-W04 Web

    2/2

    January 26th 2011Page 2

    Apparel - Belt Buckles (Bronze, Silver and Goldtoned), Keychains and T-Shirts!

    EngiBEERing every Friday aernoon in the DesignCommons! Wear a sweater vest for a free beer!

    Gossip Geek here. Your one andonly source into the scandalouslives of Sextons engineers.

    On Sexton campus, some partiesare discipline only. Others arestrictly for close friends. But someparties bring everyone, even non-engineers together. But with everyparty, comes scandal. Someonegets in a ght, a boyfriend is spot-ted cheating on his girlfriend andsomeone throws up on the danceoor. Last Saturday night was nodierent.Spotted: A mystery man getting

    escorted out of the TRoom.And then there are those that tryto keep the party peaceful.. Noidea what P was trying to accom-

    plish here, maybe prepping for afuture career as a mall cop?And then there are those thatcreate scandal just by arriving at

    a party. M, next time try to savethe goggles for skiing.. you mightactually get to talk to a girl.And then like every great party,the cops arrive, the lights comeon, someone passes out beside the

    toilet and everyone else goes tond poutine. Until next week-end

    You know you love me.

    XOXO Gossip Geek.

    Got some dirty laundry youwant me to see? Send yourshameful pics to:[email protected]

    Photo of the Week by Nick Greeno (5th year Mechanical): The view from the top of the mountain at Sugarloaf in Carrabassett Valley, Maine.

    Sextant Positions Fall 2011

    Current Events / Much to do with Nothing Croc at a Ukraine aquarium

    swallows a visitors cell

    phone. Following the swal-

    lowing, the croc started ring-

    ing. Poor thing hasnt eaten

    much or had a bowel move-

    ment in about four weeks.

    Wishing him all the best.

    Theres a fishy stank on

    campus. No one really knows

    why.

    Speculation sweeps the na-tion over whether Obama

    dies his hair. It seems less

    gray in one picture than

    another. Hm.

    George, a tortoise from

    the Galapagos, is almost

    one hundred years old and

    is believed to be the last

    member of the Geochelone

    abigdoni species. Scientists

    have been trying to mate

    him with a wide selection of

    female tortoises for almost20 years now but no luck.

    Theyve recently found two

    new potential mates for him,

    so were hoping George will

    knock one of them up soon!

    Statistics from the national

    weather office suggest that

    Canadian winters are getting

    milder. Really? I can barely

    even type this, my fingers are

    so frozen.

    "No Strings Attached" star-

    ring Natalie Portman andAshton Kutcher was a top

    seller at the box office. But it

    was terrible. Don't go see it.

    Body of Mike Bongiorno,

    Italian TV star, has been

    stolen straight from the

    graveyard. If found, please

    email us.

    A grand piano showed up, in

    up right position, on a Miami

    sandbar surrounded by water.

    Do people have nothing bet-

    ter to do these days?

    Oprah just found out she has

    a sister, Patricia.

    Iron Ring Countdown

    We're starting to look for students

    to fill Sextant positions in Fall2011. Shani Blankrot and Dilan

    Watson, Editor in Chief and As-

    sistant Editor, will be graduating

    in May.

    We're hoping to find talented, in-

    novative, and dedicated individu-

    als to fill these positions. It is a

    great opporunity and learning ex-

    perience to work for The Sextant.

    Students going on to look for jobs

    in the future will have demonstrat-

    ed project management, creativity

    and responsibility; very desirableskills.

    Both positions are extremely well

    compensated, and we are begin-

    ning recruitment for these posi-

    tions. If you are interested, please

    email us at [email protected] No

    prior experience required.