SFBuzz Magazine

alpha Issue

May 2013

www.sfbuzz.com

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Welcome to the Sample Issue of SFBuzz Magazine.

SFBuzz is a new venture, a full Science Fiction /

Horror / Fantasy genre magazine from Scifind.com

that blends the best, new short fiction, with articles

of interest and interviews with the genre makers.

Welcome to issue 'alpha'! Here we are testing the

waters and putting together a little something to

give you an idea of what we wish to achieve. We

have interviews and a short story. The regular

issues will have a lot more of the same.

"Zombies, why did it have to be zombies?"

Well zombies are cool. They have been a staple of

the horror genre for decades. Obviously the king of

the cinema zombie come from George A. Romero

with the Night of The Living Dead movies and their

pretenders. But there is a rich history to this branch

of the undead.

There have been versions of the zombie from

European folk law, to the Haitian black magic and

Witch Doctor zombies, to the figures of fun from

1980's Return Of The Living Dead zombies to

present day.

The zombie is a rich vein of horror and they do

move from the terrifying figures of cannibalism to

the amusing undead shambler crying out for

'BRAINSSSS' until they are dispatched in an often

unnecessarily gory way.

Enjoy SFBuzz magazine, sleep tight and don't

forget to “Aim for the head!”

Oh. Please take a look at our website,

www.sfbuzz.com and share this little magazine you

have found. We will be looking for subscribers in

the near future. For the price of a hard back novel

you will be able to access 12 months original

fiction, and interesting articles.

Brian Edwards – Editor SFBuzz Magazine.

Big Thank You To:

Troy Dennison

Helen Armfield

Alasdair Stuart

Neil Gardner

Sam Stone

James Moran

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SFBuzz Magazine Issue Alpha Version 2. May 2013. Published by Scifind.com.This is a FREE publication, please feel free to distribute in PDF format without

edits. All content is copyright 2013 named author, used under licence byScifind.com. Additional content is copyright 2013 Scifind.com

Interview With Sam Stone Author of Zombies At Tiffany's

Award winning author Sam Stone, author of the

Vampire Gene novels, Zombies At Tiffany's and

Zombies In New York and Other Bloody Jottings

recently found some time to discuss her writings

and the ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE with SFBuzz.

SFBuzz: Have we really to thank Christopher Lee

and John Fowles for your writing career?

Sam Stone: Yes Absolutely! These guys had a

major influence on me. Actually how I got my

hands on The Collector in the first place is probably

quite a funny story. At primary school I was given

extra reading classes. My teacher thought I couldn't

read well enough, but the problem was I was

hopelessly shy (hard to believe now I know). To

demonstrate, or test our reading skills, my teacher

used to make us all read out loud in class. I hated

it. And I really found the books we were reading

incredibly boring. When I went home and told my

mother I was having extra reading, she was really

disappointed. She thought, perhaps, that I wasn't

very bright, and I couldn't explain how difficult I

found reading aloud with everyone watching me.

She told me to start practicing my reading at home.

I suspect she meant my school books. Well I did

practice but the truth was I could read and very

well. I just didn't like reading out loud.

My mother loved books and always had some

around. Mostly at the time these were historical

romances, but she had seen the film, The Collector

with Samantha Eggar and Terrence Stamp, and she

had bought the book. Bored with the selection that

the teacher has sent home with me, I looked

through the pile of books my mother had. The

cover of the collector intrigued me and I opened it

up. The rest, as they say, is history. I couldn't put

the book down. I loved it. What I loved most was

the adult language which inspired and interested

me far more than the young fiction we were given. I

had never until then actually finished any of the

books the school had given me to read. The stories

and narrative bored me.

After that I discovered Christopher Lee in Dracula

and my interest in vampires led to my first

experimentation with writing.

SFBuzz: There have been five Vampire Gene novels

in as many years, how did you keep up this writing

rate?

Sam Stone: I have a very strict regime. I wake up

and I write. I usually don't stop until I have written

a few thousand words a day. This means I can write

one of the vampire gene books in approximately

three months. The rest of the year I work on other

projects that have been commissioned. I'm

currently writing the equivalent of two novels, a

novella and several short stories a year. I could do

more but life keeps getting in the way. My mission

in the next 12 months is to complete 3 novels. I

have so many piling up that I want to do that, that I

really think I need to pick up speed.

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SFBuzz: What lured you away from Vampires to

write about Zombies?

Sam Stone: Zombies have always been really

frightening to me. I think this is because they

represent the devolution of society. Unlike

vampires who are often depicted as more evolved

than us. You can't reason with a zombie. Their only

agenda is to kill, eat you or pass on their infection.

I also think its a real challenge to write them in a

different way. Different causes is one think, but

finding unusual cures is another challenge, and I

always try to put a new spin on

everything I do.

SFBuzz: With the continued

success of Zombies At Tiffany's,

is there any truth to the

rumours of a movie adaptation?

Sam Stone: I can't confirm or

deny that at the moment I'm

afraid! But watch this space! I

can tell you there is a graphic

novel in the pipe-line though.

And Dean Haglund, of X-Files

fame, is the artist on the

project. Dean and I met in

Colorado in February 2012 and

since then we've become good friends. I gave him a

copy of Zombies At Tiffany's when he came to visit

us last summer and he loved the book. He was

working on his own graphic novel at the time and

he told me he would love to do Tiffany's. There is

also a possibility that it will be going to Audio soon

too.

SFBuzz: Will there be more Zombies, or back to

Vampires (or werewolves / androids / dragons …)?

Sam Stone: I'm currently working on a new novel

which is a supernatural crime/thriller. After that I

would like to write the second book in my post

apocalyptic trilogy The Chronicles of the Jinx. I'm

hoping the first of these, Jinx Town, will be in print

next year. The trilogy is about an alien invasion

that effectively ends the world as we know it. It's

also a very brutal observation of human nature.

I have recently completed a science fiction horror

novella - but I will tell you more on that when I have

the go ahead from my publisher!

I do also plan to write another Vampire Gene novel

- although maybe not this year. I

recently sold the first of the series,

Killing Kiss, to a German Publisher,

and I'm hoping they will want the

others if this one sells well for

them.

SFBuzz: Now you are

Commissioning Editor for Telos

Moonrise. (www.telosmoonrise.com)

will we expect less output from Sam

Stone?

Sam Stone: Absolutely not. Telos

Moonrise has been a distraction

recently. There has been a lot of

things to do in the set up of the

imprint. But I'm expecting to be reading and

choosing titles a couple of times a year, and will

potentially be publishing one in each of the genres

in that time. So four titles a year unless something

really amazing comes in that I can't turn down. I

certainly won't be letting my own work fall by the

wayside in the meantime. It just means I have to be

even more organised than usual.

SFBuzz: You have mentioned your Hammer Dracula

influences, have you a favourite Zombie movie?

Sam Stone: I'd say Zombieland comes up there as

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top for me because I loved the human in it. Older

zombie stories - The Night of the Living Dead is

great! And I love the Resident Evil movies. But there

are so many - Shaun of the Dead was inspired, and

I really enjoyed Dead Set. I'm currently watching In

The Flesh which takes a different view on the whole

thing too.

SFBuzz: Who does your hair (from @MrsScifind) ?

Sam Stone: LOL. My hair dresser is called Sharon

and she owns the salon Hair at the Top on my local

High Street. She's also a close family friend.

SFBuzz: Should Zombies be Shufflers (Romero-esq)

or Runners (28 Days Later)?

Sam Stone: I think they should be whatever they

need to be for the story you want to tell. In

Zombies at Tiffany's mine were able to speak, they

couldn't understand their own motivation though

and couldn't stop themselves from killing. They

even had regret. I think the runners are the scariest

ones though. The shufflers you can get away from

easily.

SFBuzz: Have you a survival plan for the Zombie

Apocalypse?

Sam Stone: Yes. I practice the Double-Tap and

work out with a trainer. I'm still not much of a

runner though so I hope they are shufflers if the

Zombie apocalypse ever happens!!

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Dead!By Troy Dennison

This one is lovingly dedicated to all you zombie fans out there.

I remember my death so clearly.

People say that your whole life flashes before

your eyes in that instant before you leave this

world. That didn’t happen to me; I didn’t even get

the edited highlights. For me it was an explosion of

light and then a searing pain that vanished in an

instant as the .50 calibre Desert Eagle round ripped

through my sternum. Blood, bone, and muscle all

merged together in the blink of an eye as my heart

was shredded by the hollow point round; and then

it was over. My body flew backwards; I heard the

sharp crack as my spinal column severed under the

strain and then oblivion. Blackness; a complete

cessation of sight and sound and feeling.

I remember my resurrection less clearly.

There was a grey fog of awareness,

fragmented images, broken and half formed.

Snatches of sounds danced in and out of my

hearing; words, music and screams. I floated in a

sea of numbness, a total cessation of feeling;

cocooned in a warm haze. Thoughts flew through

my head, dreams and memories and nightmares

colliding and falling apart in a frantic, never ending

cycle. It took a long time before I realised that the

screams I heard were my own; under the

circumstances I suppose it was inevitable that there

would be some pain.

Some pain? Bones were shifting, re-aligning

and knitting. The hole in my chest closed and

blood, muscle, hair and flesh re-grew. The oxygen

starved synapses in my brain began to fire once

again sending electrical energy coursing through

my regenerating grey matter. It stood to reason

that I would want to cry out in anguish; I was being

re-born and birth is always a painful process.

Coming back to life hurt just as much as dying, but

the pain subsided gradually until all that was left

was a deep burning hunger.

I guess you could say that I died that night

because I was a smoker; I lit up my first Marley

when I was fourteen and it’s been downhill ever

since. I once calculated that if I’d saved all the

money I’d ever spent on cigarettes I could have

gone on holiday to Miami. For an entire year. It

wasn’t the Big C that got me though, and it wasn’t

any of the other smoke related diseases that

they’ve preached about over the years. I place the

blame for my fate squarely on the shoulders of all

those anti-smoking Nazi’s that got smoking

indoors banned.

I used to love sitting in a bar after work with

a Bud and a cigarette, relaxing and letting the

stress of the day wash away wrapped in a wreath of

smoke. It was my ritual for years until the new

legislation got passed and buggered everything up

for me and millions of others. Every day I’d leave

the office, loosen my tie and head downtown to

Clancey’s for a couple of hours before hopping a

cab home.

Six days a week for more years than I can

remember until people started giving a damn about

second hand smoke. That screwed it up for me and

the last bunch of years has never been quite as

satisfying somehow. Sure, I could go and stand

outside to spark up, but a cigarette in the pouring

rain just doesn’t hit the spot in the same way. And

how can you enjoy your beer after you’ve been

freezing your ass off in the cold just to get your

nicotine fix?

The day I died was just like any other for me;

a whirl of corporate law, meetings, power lunches,

phone calls and filing briefs. I worked on the third

floor of one of the biggest law firms in the state

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and I was pretty good at my job. I wore a thousand

dollar suit, shirts from Seville, silk ties imported

from China and I always looked sharp. I spent the

day working my ass off and occasionally flirting

with the girls in the secretarial pool over a much

needed coffee break. I rolled out of the office at

eight on that fateful evening, with the warm fall sky

gleaming above the office blocks around me.

I said goodnight to the security guards,

walked out of the revolving door and lit up a much

needed cigarette. The taste of the tobacco felt

good and I ignored the frowns of a passing couple

as I exhaled. The short walk to Clancey’s was nice

in the evening air and I enjoyed the stroll as I

anticipated downing a cold one. I picked my regular

seat at the bar and my beer was in front of me

before I’d put down my briefcase. The crisp taste

was good and I could feel the stress washing away

as I sipped slowly at the Bud.

I chatted to a couple of the regulars and

settled in to watch the TV as I started my second

beer. I was waiting for the sports to see how the

Eagles were doing when the anchorman started

talking about the meteor shower. I half listened as

he went on about how glorious the rare event

would look in the evening sky. Who cared about

meteor showers when your team stood a chance of

making it to the play-off that year? It was crawling

on towards ten and I was on my third beer when I

decided to head outside for what turned out to be

my final fatal cigarette.

A couple of Clancey’s patrons were finishing

cigarettes as I stepped into the warm night air. I

bummed a light as they headed back inside and

found myself alone on the sidewalk. I listened to

the hum of the city as I smoked, enjoying the

cigarette and anticipating catching a cab a little

later. I had some lasagne in the refrigerator that

would make a quick meal when I got in and then it

would be bed; alone as usual. I was looking at the

buildings as I smoked and something drew my eye

up towards the cloudy sky.

There were dozens of faint streams of pale

green light shooting across the night. I realised

straight away that it was the meteorite shower. It

was a beautiful but somehow eerie sight. I couldn’t

see properly from where I was standing so I moved

down the block a short distance. There was a dark

alleyway here that cut between the buildings and I

had a clear view of the heavenly splendour. I forgot

all about my cigarette as I watched the glowing

streaks of light blazing across the darkness. I

guess that’s why I didn’t see the mugger creeping

up the alley behind me; I heard the sharp click as

he chambered a round in his gun though.

I never got a good look at his face; the alley

was dark and I was rather preoccupied by the gun

waving in my face. It was a huge silver cannon with

a barrel that looked like the mouth of the Jersey

Tunnel. The guy was nervous and he waved the gun

menacingly in my face as he demanded my wallet

and cell phone. I’ve always thought that I’d be

brave if something like this ever happened to me. I

guess I was deluding myself because instead of

wrestling his weapon from the guy’s hand all I felt

was terrified. He screamed at me, urging me to

hurry; the problem was that my phone and wallet

were in my jacket back in the bar.

I’m not sure if what he did was deliberate or

an accident; I guess he thought I was screwing him

around. One second he’s screaming abuse in my

face and the next there’s a flash of light and a

sound like thunder. Something punched me in the

chest and I felt myself flying backwards. I don’t

think I even felt the sharp crack as my head

bounced off the sidewalk. The last thing I

remember as my life slipped away was the streaks

of light in the sky. They looked so beautiful that I

thought I could lie there all night and watch them.

But then my vision blurred and they swam out of

focus until everything went black

It took me a long time to realise that my eyes

were open because the blackness persisted. I tried

to move but everything ached and it felt like I was

swimming through treacle. It seemed to take

forever for me to raise my arm and when I did it

bumped into something hard and unyielding. A

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lifetime later I had both my hands pressed against

the hard surface. There was something soft

covering it; cloth of some kind and I pushed gently.

I felt something move and I pushed again, harder

this time. The coffin lid popped open and harsh,

artificial light flooded my vision.

I was shocked to realise that I was lying in a

coffin. How the hell had I got here? Was it some

sort of crazy practical joke? Of course I had no idea

who would play such a stupid prank on me; Barry

from Finance maybe? It was just like him to pull

something crazy like this on me. That was when I

remembered the gun and getting shot and that was

when the confusion set in, and then the panic. I

blinked and looked around as my surroundings

came slowly into focus.

I was looking up at a beige coloured ceiling

that slowly swam in and out of focus. I stared at it

for what seemed like forever before I tried to look

around and that was when I saw the pale silk

linings on either side. Turning my head was

difficult because my neck felt stiff; I was going to

need a good massage to get all the kinks out of it.

The office had its own small spa and gym and as I

lay there I decided that would be my first call once I

figured out where I was. I certainly wasn’t at home,

so maybe I was in hospital? That made sense to

me, after all that’s what happened when you got

shot right? But I didn’t remember getting here and I

had no recollection of paramedics of ambulances

or an ER.

I struggled to sit up; every muscle groaning

in protest. It was a slow, painful process that an

arthritic old man would have done more quickly

than I could manage. My back popped unpleasantly

as I forced myself upright. The loud cracks

reminded me unpleasantly of the sound of that

idiot’s gun and I suppressed a shudder at the

memory. The room was quite small, with a deep

red carpet, a few idyllic paintings were on the walls

and a large floral display occupied one corner. I

really was sitting in a coffin that had been placed in

the centre of the room on some kind of table. The

first order of business was to get out and find

someone to explain what was going on to me so I

lifted the lid covering my legs and climbed out of

the coffin.

I hit the floor hard and lay there for a while

wondering why my body was refusing to work

properly. I was probably medicated or something;

that would explain the fuzzy feeling in my head

and the lethargy in my limbs. I rolled over, slowly

picked myself up and stood, swaying for a long

moment. There was an uncomfortable itching

sensation in my chest and I scratched at it absently

with one hand. I realised that I wasn’t wearing

hospital scrubs; I was fully dressed, but the suit

wasn’t the one I had been wearing to work. That

puzzled me as much as my surroundings.

The room had a single dark wood panelled

door that could have been oak and I headed for it.

Whatever drugs they’d pumped me with were

making it tricky to walk and I seemed to be

lurching like a drunken bum as I staggered towards

my goal. Maybe I was hungover? What if I’d had

more to drink than I thought last night and just

dreamed the shooting? That seemed to make sense

to me and it would explain the way my head felt

and my body’s complete lack of being able to

function properly. Yeah, I’d gotten loaded and

dreamed the whole meteorites and mugger thing.

Of course that still didn’t explain why I was wearing

different clothes or the whole waking up in a coffin

thing.

The mild itching from my chest was a

persistent nag as I staggered across the little room.

I paused and scratched at it again and then pulled

at my shirt to see what was irritating it. The

buttons seemed too tiny and my fingers didn’t

want to work properly as I struggled with the shirt.

I tugged at it and one of the buttons popped off;

this certainly wasn’t one of my shirts and I didn’t

recognise the tie either. The material parted and I

looked down at my itching chest only to get

another unpleasant shock. There was a slightly

jagged Y-shaped incision carved into my skin; I

could see the point where the three arms met.

Thick black stitched held the ugly wound together

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and I knew instantly where I had seen that sort of

thing before; it was what happened during an

autopsy!

That was stupid. No way was it an autopsy

scar; they only did those on dead people and I

certainly wasn’t dead. Corpses don’t walk around,

they don’t breathe and they certainly don’t crave a

cigarette the way that I was. It had to be one of

those fake things made of rubber that they use in

the movies; a prosthetic. That was it exactly and it

was the glue that was making my chest itch! I

patted my pockets searching for a cigarette and

lighter but they were empty. That frustrated me but

it crystallised my plan of action. First I was gonna

find someone to explain what the hell had

happened to me (Barry was still my prime suspect)

then I was going to bum a smoke, find a coffee and

figure out how to get home.

I lurched towards the door again,

weaving like a drunken sailor – how much

beer had I had last night? The door had

a large ornately decorated brass

knob and I reached for it with

fingers that felt like someone

else’s. I had just as much trouble

with the door knob as I had with

my shirt. My hand persisted in not

working properly and it took me an

age to grasp and turn the knob. The

door finally swung open and I

staggered into the corridor behind it.

There was more of the same décor

that the room had contained and any

other time I’m sure I would have

found it comforting and relaxing.

There was a sign on one wall, but

my eyes swam at the words and refused to focus

properly.

Whatever; I turned right and made my way

along the carpeted corridor in what I hoped was the

right direction. I needed to be in the office by seven

and I was worrying about the time. My watch was

missing though and I had no idea of how long I had

been passed out. I couldn’t be late for work, it was

unthinkable. In all the years I’d been with the

company I’d always been on time and I wasn’t

going to start letting them down because of a

hangover. There seemed to be just one thing that I

was certain about right at that moment; Barry was a

dead man when I got my hands on him.

After what seemed like an eternity of walking

I found myself in a warmly lit reception area. There

were more flowers here and sitting behind the

reception desk was a middle aged Hispanic guy in a

security uniform. He turned to look at me as I

staggered into the reception and his eyes widened.

I raised my hand in a friendly greeting and smiled.

“Hey buddy, where am I?” I said.

Or at least that’s what I tried to say. It came

out as mush that sounded more like a moan than

proper words. The security guard almost fell off his

chair as he scrambled to his feet and crossed

himself in an overly dramatic gesture.

Who does that when they see

someone with a hangover? The

guy was in a panic and I realised

that I could actually smell his

sweat mingled in with the aroma

of the flowers and his

deodorant; yuk! As I

approached him the guard

scrambled back,

placing the

reception desk

between us.

The guard’s

hand scrambled at

his belt and I

realised with a start

that he was going

for I gun. I put my arms up, trying to reassure him

but that somehow made him panic even more.

He kept repeating the same thing over and

over under his breath, “Los muertos! Jesús!”

I had no idea what that meant and I tried to

tell him that it was okay but my mouth still refused

to form words properly. The guard finally released

the clip on his holster and he tore the stubby black

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gun from his hip. His hands shook as he levelled it

at me and I tried to beg him to stop. The guard

closed his eyes, pulled the trigger and that was

when I got shot in the chest for the second time.

It tickled. I’m not really sure how many volts

a taser is meant to produce but I was damn grateful

that this one seemed to be faulty. The guard

opened his eyes and stared at me in what I could

only describe as horror. What was his problem? I

was the one that should be horrified after the fool

had tried to electrocute me! He screamed a curse

and actually threw the taser at me. Then he turned

and bolted for the big double doors that lead to the

street. His keys were out and the guards had

opened the door in seconds. Thenhe was running

down the sidewalk screaming as if all the hounds in

Hell were hot on his heels. Some people eh?

I pushed my way through the doors that the

guard had just opened and carefully navigated

down the short flight of steps onto the sidewalk. It

was dark outside; the soft, grey endless twilight of

pre-dawn. Off to my right the guard was still

running down the street and I figured that the guy

must have been a running back in college. I looked

back at the building I had just left and although I

couldn’t make out the sign above the door I

recognised the place. It was a funeral parlour a

couple of blocks over from my law firm. There was

a nice Italian coffee shop somewhere around here

that I had meetings in from time to time. Barry the

prankster had really pulled out all the stops on this

one. I wondered who he’d bribed to get me

smuggled into that casket?

The thought of coffee led me onto food and

reminded me of the soft growl in my stomach. I

could smell bagels cooking somewhere on the early

morning air. Normally the idea of a warm bagel

from a deli would have been an ideal breakfast but

I fancied something else. I wanted bacon or

possibly burgers. The idea of all that warm juicy

meat had me licking my lips in anticipation. I was

pretty sure that right about now I’d murder a nice

steak, rare and sweet and so damn tasty. That got

me thinking about my Mom’s cooking as I weaved

along the sidewalk. My parents lived in a small

apartment in Queens; maybe I should pay them a

visit later? Today was a short day at work, so I’d

have the afternoon free and I’m sure they’d love a

visit from me.

I reached for my cell to call them and then

remembered that my damn pockets were empty.

That screwed things up royally and I wondered

where my cell and wallet were. Damn I hated this!

Barry was going to pay for this one big-time, and

not just for the inconvenience but for the sheer

stupidity of it all. I couldn’t even hail a cab to get

me to the office; then again I hadn’t seen any cabs

since I’d left the funeral parlour. That was weird

because New York never slept and the famous

yellow cabs were always on the streets. Somewhere

in the distance I could hear sirens so I guess

someone was having a worse night than me. I

didn’t find that particularly reassuring as I shuffled

and staggered along.

The sky brightened above me while I was

walking and became the dull orange of dawn. The

clouds were shot with red and faint green like

something out of a trippy psychedelic cartoon. The

slow burning pangs of hunger were getting

stronger and I found myself thinking more and

more about food. I really wanted to eat. Something,

anything as long as it was a warm and juicy chunk

of meat. My plan of action formulated in my head;

Barry first, coffee and a cigarette second, followed

by food. Lots of food. Actually forget the coffee

and nicotine fix, I just wanted to sort out Barry and

eat something.

The city was coming to life around me but

there was something off about it that it took me a

while to figure out. Everything seemed so subdued,

so quiet. There weren’t as many cars as I would

have expected and the few people I saw gave me a

wide berth. Maybe they thought I was some drunk

staggering home after a night on the tiles?

Whatever; I didn’t really care about what was going

on in people’s heads. What was going on in their

heads? I kept coming back to that thought as it

circled my mind like a vulture seeking a carcass. I

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did care about what was in their heads, I really did.

Thoughts, memories, hopes, dreams, joys and

sorrows; it was fascinating, almost intoxicating. Oh

yes indeed.

I wanted to explore what was in those heads

in the worst possible way. Examine each one in

turn and drink in the memories, savouring every

last moment of their lives. That would feel so good.

To be able to drown myself on what was in those

heads, to gorge myself until I was contented, that

would be heaven. I shook myself at the idea; how

weird could I get when I had a hangover? My poor

brain was definitely fried from the booze and I’m

sure that tingle from the taser couldn’t have helped

me too much. I rounded a corner and staggered on

towards my goal; only two more blocks and then

Barry was going to get a nasty surprise off me.

It took me an eternity to reach the law

offices where I had spent so many hours of my life

over the years. The sidewalks had become busier

as I walked and a few people had bumped and

jostled me as I stagger on my quest. A few shot me

worried looks and scurried away as if I were some

evil looking beast who had escaped from the local

penitentiary. I flashed a smile at one lady, a friendly

gesture that left her hurrying in the opposite

direction after she turned tail and bolted. People in

New York could be so damn strange at times, but I

guess it takes all sorts to make up the world.

I breathed a happy sigh of relief as I made

my way into the law firm’s lobby and nodded a

greeting to the security guard. He looked surprised

to see me as I walked past and waved a friendly

greeting to Jenny the receptionist. The pretty

blonde looked like she’d been hit over the head

with a baseball bat. She watched me with a

dumbstruck expression plastered on her face as I

headed for the elevators. I clumsily thumbed the

call button, missing it on my first attempt and

waited patiently for the elevator to arrive.

I rode the elevator up to Finance with four

other people. The journey seemed to take forever

and the atmosphere in the elevator felt odd. There

was a tension in the air that emanated from my

fellow passenger; I could almost smell what they

were feeling. I wondered what was worrying them?

Perhaps it had been my “Good morning” as they got

on? That had come out of my unresponsive mouth

as an embarrassing moan and I had lapsed into

silence for the ride. What were they thinking? What

was going on in those deliciously sweet heads? I

would have loved the time to explore their minds

but I had other, pressing matters to attend to.

I lumbered out of the elevator when it

reached Finance to the obvious relief of me fellow

passengers. I gave them a stink-eye as the doors

closed behind me. Finance was a huge open area

divided into cubicles and I found Barry the

prankster easily His balding head was easy to spot

amongst the litter of cubicles and I made my slow

way towards him. Barry was surprised to see me

when he turned around. He sat there with his

mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping on

land.

“Oh my god!” he said.

I glared long and hard at the chubby, self

confessed fool.

Barry staggered to his feet as I struggled to

tell him what was on my mind. The hunger was a

roaring distraction now, my words refused to form

properly. I felt like a baby trying to speak for the

first time.

“It’s impossible. You’re dead! Your funeral’s

next week.” Barry said.

What was the idiot babbling about? Funeral?

How could I be dead if I was walking around? Barry

was taking the prank just a bit too far for my liking.

What was he thinking? What was going through that

fat, juicy head of his? I reached for the fool and my

hand clamped around his throat. He gasped and I

could feel the steady thump of his rapid pulse

under my fingers. The blood was coursing through

his chubby, well fed body. I leaned towards him

and licked my lips in anticipation. This was going

to be good, the perfect payback for his nasty little

prank. I pulled him closer and breathed in the

sweet, sweet scent of blood and flesh. The words

www.sfbuzz.com11

finally came as I lunged for his face and told Barry

the prankster just exactly what I needed to fill the

burning hunger in my stomach.

“Brains!”

About the author

I am a writer, make-up artist, artist, actor,

anime fiend, X-Box junkie and government

endorsed secret agent ninja assassin - one of these

may be false...

I have three children and live in Staffordshire

with my crazy dog Theo.

About the story

Dead! Started life as a loose idea; you get

stories told from a vampire or werewolf’s point of

view so why not from a zombies? I’m sure zombies

have feelings too, buried somewhere under that

overwhelming craving for fresh brains. This is my

first story to feature a “modern” zombie; I wrote

about traditional ones in Gandalf.

For the record my own personal favourite zombie

story is Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead. It’s an

awesome comic and if you love zombies then you

really should read it.

www.sfbuzz.com12

Interview With James Moran – Writer of Cockneys Vs ZombiesJames Moran is a screenwriter with an extensive portfolio. In addition

to writing the movies Severance, Cockneys Vs Zombies and Tower

Block; his name can often be seen on the TV after scripting episodes

of Doctor Who, Torchwood, Spooks, Primeval and Crusoe

SFBuzz: Writer of episodes of

Spooks, Doctor Who and

Primeval. I believe you reached

your break in writing in a un

conventional way.

James Moran: I won a short

film script competition that the

UK Sci Fi Channel were running

- they made my script into a

short film, released it in

cinemas with several summer

movies. But it wasn't really a

"break", more of a validation,

proof that I could write

something people might want

to see. After that, I had to make

my own way, I wrote some

scripts and sent them to an

agency. The agent took me on,

and I spent a year writing

Severance, and figuring out how

to structure a movie.

SFBuzz: After our first feature

SEVERENCE how come we had

to wait so long for your horror

feature follow up COCKNEYS VS

ZOMBIES?

James Moran: I had a movie in

development after Severance

came out, but it all went

horribly wrong. Just at that

time, I started getting TV work,

so I focused on that for a while.

I worked on a lot of UK TV

shows, for about 2 years I was

doing that and not much else.

After that I spent some time

trying to get my own TV series

off the ground, but it's a very

slow process, and means you

disappear off the radar for while

- I was working, writing a lot,

but being in development takes

ages. I had decided to avoid

movies for a while, after a few

bad experiences in a row with

dodgy producers. The guys

behind Cockneys convinced me

to work on it, and promised

they would protect me during

the process - which they did, I

had a fantastic time all the way

through it. And then, Tower

Block got picked up at the same

time, so suddenly I had two

movies out within two months,

after a 6 year gap.

SFBuzz: How hard is it to blend

ZOMBIE horror with a good

helping of comedy?

James Moran: Not at all, the

difficult part is not letting it be

TOO funny and silly. When

you're doing a horror comedy,

it's very easy to get carried away

with the jokes, the trick is to

balance it out so that the scares

are properly scary, around the

jokes. Although Cockneys

wasn't ever meant to be a scary

movie, at all, so I just had to

make sure that despite the

humour, the characters felt like

real people, nice people you'd

want to root for. And never to

make fun of Cockneys

themselves, because that's lazy

and simplistic.

SFBuzz: Are we ever likely to

see the exploits of Ray fighting

Nazis in WWII?

James Moran: I'd love to see

that, I'd really like to do some

comics exploring the side

stories of the movie, so

hopefully that will happen one

day. That's top of my list, as

well as seeing what happens to

the other people in the bank.

www.sfbuzz.com13

It'd probably have to be a

comic, the adventures of Young

Ray, so there's more chance of

it happening.

SFBuzz: I believe we don't have

to wait long for more Zombies

from the Moran stable. I see

Silent Night of the Living Dead

is possibly to reach us by the

end of this year. What can you

tell us about this?

James Moran: It's still early

days for that, the script is all

written, we just need to get the

rest of the financing and key

cast and crew in place. If all

goes well, then we hope to be

shooting as soon as possible.

But it takes time to sort out the

financial side of

every movie,

sadly. This one

is also a horror

comedy, we're

pitching it as

Gremlins meets

Fulci - shuffling

zombies in a

small town at

Christmas. And

lots of gore.

SFBuzz: Should Zombies be

Shufflers (Romero-esq) or

Runners (28 Days Later)?

James Moran: We talked about

this before I typed my first word

in Cockneys - I was determined

that they should be shufflers,

and the director was too. We

discussed it for a while,

wondering if people wanted to

see the more modern take - but

once I'd come up with the

pensioners and the walking

frame, there was only one

possible way to go, thankfully.

Shufflers are the best. Having

said that, I do like several

running zombie movies. The

zombies in Silent Night are

shufflers too. So clearly I favour

them.

SFBuzz: Have you a survival

plan for the Zombie

Apocalypse?

James Moran: Yes, I wrote

about it on my blog in detail,

way too much detail for

someone to be thinking about,

someone should probably keep

an eye on me. Basically, it's this:

as soon as you see ANY hints

that the apocalypse is about to

start, kill all your neighbours.

They'll only go crazy or get

bitten or betray you, so save

yourself some time and hassle.

Take all their stuff, stock up

from the local shops, barricade

yourself in, make holes in the

walls so you can use

their houses too, then

sit tight, get drunk,

stay drunk, and wait.

Don't answer the door.

Kill anyone who comes

near you. If the army

fix everything, you can

wait it out. If they

don't, at least you'll be

drunk.

Thank you to James Moran for permission to use Owen Billcliffe's photo above(photographer on CvsZ) The photo shows Jame's in a zombie cameo that was cut

from the final film, being dispatched by Andy (played by Harry Treadaway)

www.sfbuzz.com14

The Alternate Start To The Cornetto TrilogyAs we write this, the finale of the Cornetto Trilogy

is entering its final stages. The World’s End is the

third (well, third and a half if you count ‘Paul’)

movie in the unofficial trilogy of genre

fiction/comedy/blisteringly funny, smart and

frequently touching dissections of the male geek

psyche trilogy that Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg

started with Shaun of the Dead. The first two

movies, Shaun and Hot Fuzz, are fiercely smart love

letters to and parodies of zombie movies and cop

movies respectively and The World’s End is…well…

here’s the thing. We don’t know. There’ve been

conflicting reports ranging from zombies and a

musical number to Simon Pegg claiming the movie

isn’t actually about the end of the world at all. What

we do know is that, decades after they first

attempted it at college, a group of friends try and

complete an epic pub crawl as…something, begins

to happen out in the world. We know Wright is

directing, know Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are

front and center and we know that this time they’re

being joined by a supporting cast including Martin

Freeman, Eddie Marsan, Paddy Considine and David

Bailey, who I fervently hope, is making his peace

with spending the next few years being asked if

he’s going to be playing William Hartnell playing

the 1st Doctor again soon. We also know it will

involve a flavor of Cornetto ice cream, because, in

each of the previous movies, the ice cream has

appeared. All the signs point to The World’s End

being a perfect capstone to two of the smartest,

most interesting geek culture movies of the last

twenty years.

But what if Shaun wasn’t the first movie? What if

the trilogy had taken us down a different path. Like

the man says, come with us now on a journey

through time and space as we explain how, one

universe, Edgar Wright’s first Cornetto movie was

both very different and weirdly familiar…

Island of Lost Scripts

In 2002, riding high on the success of Spaced,

Wright and Pegg went to LA to meet with the

studios. They had a script ready, a self styled

‘zomromcom’ about a feckless young Englishman

who finds himself forced to step up again and

again as the cosy world he’s built himself is literally

eaten away by the zombie apocalypse. The buzz on

the script was huge, Spaced had closed out as a

vast critical success and its cult status was

achieved and the whole movie could be filmed, in

London, for a modest budget.

There was just one problem; no studio would

finance it shooting there. Pegg and Wright took

meeting after meeting, all positive and all, in the

end, boiling down to one request;

‘Can you set it in LA?’

The pressure on the two was almost indescrible;

they were, at this stage, two UK comedy writers

without a tremendous amount of work behind them

and they’d been handed the brass ring; a shot at

Hollywood. To turn this down would spell career

suicide but to compromise the script’s inherent

Britishness could mean the exact same thing. In

interview years later, Wright admitted they’d kicked

around rewriting it for a female lead and calling it

Dawn of the Dead, but it had never gone anywhere

and, for a while, it seemed Wright and Pegg would

do the same.

Until they came up with an idea; they were untried,

untested as big screen scriptwriters.

So why not take the initial script out of their hands

altogether? The plan they presented was simple;

give us carte blanche access to everything you have

in devel0pment hell, we’ll pick a script, pitch it and

if you like it, then that’s what we’ll push ahead on.

Then, if it’s successful, Shaun would be next on the

list.

Universal agreed, and Wright and Pegg picked an

undeveloped script from 1987 by SHORT CIRCUIT

www.sfbuzz.com15

writers S.S. Wilson and Brent Maddock entitled

“Tremors”.

The RomMonCom was born. (Romantic Comedy,

with Monsters)

The Script

Tremors is set in the Desert town of Perfection

Valley and follows the misfortunes of two British ex

pats with one time big ideas trying to make their

way in the world.

Valentine (Val) McKee (Simon Pegg) came to the US

on a gap year and never went back. His work as a

handy man in Perfection Valley means he knows,

and is liked by, very nearly everyone but also

means he has no reason to move on. The fact he

lives, and works, with best mate Earl Bassett, also

an ex pat and handyman but more the ‘logistical

side of things’ (And Perfection’s one and only drug

dealer) doesn’t help either. The pair live on the

outskirts of town, have all the beer, money and

food they know what to do with and can drink for

free at Chang’s as long as they unblock the toilets

regularly. Life is good.

Life is also complicated. Val has been dating

Rhonda, a geologist surveying the valley for the last

six months. Now, she’s a few weeks off finishing

and heading back to Berkeley. She’s asked Val to

come with her. He hasn’t said yes yet. Things are

getting awkward. They’re not helped by the fact

Earl, whilst utterly charming, is also a foul-mouthed

loser:

Earl: Can I get… any of you c***s… a

drink?

Matters come to a head when, on Rhonda’s last

night in town, Val suggests they eat at Chang’s.

With Earl. Again. Rhonda leaves him and a grief-

stricken Val is taken out into the desert by Earl to

play house music, blow stuff up and get drunker.

The two men pass out on a rock and the camera

tracks up as we see vast wakes in the sand, as

though something huge was moving beneath the

surface, pass the rock on each side and head to

town. Unknown to the hapless duo the desert is

crawling with giant underground monsters called

Graboids. And they’ve found the town…

Walking to Walter Chang’s the next morning to buy

a Cornetto, Val finds out from Walter about the

disappearance of the doctor building his house on

the other side of the valley. Curious, but hung over,

he’s stumbles home. He’s barely through the door

when there’s a scream, high pitched and squeaky,

which is revealed to be Earl. He’s hiding by the

back porch, watching their tool shed. The shed

subsided in the night as a Graboid passed beneath

it and now the creature, screaming in pain, is trying

to tear itself free. The fact it takes a while for them

to realize this leads to one of the best exchanges in

the movie:

Val: Is it still out there?

[Earl checks, revealing a graboid

appearing at the window]

Earl: Yeah. What you think we should

do?

Val: Have a sit down?

Finally realizing they have to do something they

start pelting the beast with cans of beer.

Val: Don’t throw that, its imported

The Graboid breaks free and the pair kill it using

various power tools (Wright would later say in

interview this scene is crammed full of references

to classic ’80s video nasties. Fans also note the S-

MART ‘Employee of the Month’ shirt Earl is wearing

for much of the movie.) However, walking back

along its trail they notice other creatures heading

for town. The only reason they were able to kill the

one beneath the shed was because it was trapped.

Perfection is in a lot of trouble. They need a plan.

They get:

Earl: Chang’s?

Val: CHANG’S.

www.sfbuzz.com16

What follows proved to be another fan favorite

sequence, starting with Val saving the town pogo

record holder (Played by young Ariana Richards)

from a Graboid, taking in Val and Rhonda’s (sort of)

reconciliation, the revelation that the bookish,

polite Rhonda can out swear Earl and Val, Rhonda,

Earl, Chang and the other townsfolk killing a

Graboid with pickaxes to the tune of the Queen

song “Don’t Stop Me Now” on the Jukebox in

Chang’s before they retreated to the roof.

The movie takes a dark turn as, despite Val

heroically leading one Graboid away on foot,

several townsfolk, including Chang, are killed and

Val, coming to his senses and realizing they need

to leave, retrieves the radio from Chang’s and calls

local survivalist Burt Gummer. With his ultra heavy-

duty tractor, and the trailer that Val and Earl were

going to turn into a swimming pool hitched up,

Burt comes and gets the survivors and leads them

out to his compound, showing them his gun vault,

which Earl responds to with the now classic line:

EARL: By the power of Grayskull…

They recuperate and Burt assures them the

Graboids can’t get in right before one smashes the

wall of his gun vault because Earl couldn’t be

bothered to close the gate behind them. Everyone

bar Burt, his wife, Val, Rhonda and Earl are killed

and Val finally loses it at his oldest friend,

screaming at him about how unreliable he is.

The survivors realize they need to get out of the

valley to get help. The only way to do this is by

riding the tractor out across eight klicks of pure

sand, but, as Rhonda notes that on the way they’ll

pass the geological survey station she was working

at and can use the charges she has left to defend

themselves. The survivors gear up, in a scene

which riffs on the arming up scene in Predator (And

would later itself be riffed on in Slither), and they

head out.

The Graboids attack almost instantly and just as

they reach Rhonda’s, the Graboids tear a wheel off

the trailer, trapping them. Seeing them on the

verge of being over-run, Earl leaps from the trailer

and runs off, the vibrations of his footsteps

drawing the Graboids away. Val and Rhonda get the

charges but the largest Graboid they’ve yet seen

tears through the shed and a lit charge is dropped

into the box of unlit ones. Val grabs a handful, as

Rhonda punches the Graboid’s mouth tentacles out

of the way and they run out of the shed just as it

blows up. Trapped on a rocky outcrop, with a cliff

to one side, another Graboid swarming the trailer

and Earl presumed dead, all seems lost. In a

surprisingly dark twist, they reconcile and talk

about asking Burt to kill them at range, leading to

Val’s memorable line;

VAL: I don’t think I have it in me to

lose my job, my house, my best friend

and ask the local gun nut to kill my

girlfriend and I in the same day.

RHONDA: Who says I’m your

girlfriend?

Val’s had enough. He kisses her, grabs the charges

and sprints out towards the cliff, yelling and

screaming. The others watch, horror struck as the

Graboids all turn and head straight for Val.

Standing at the very edge of the cliff, he lights and

throws all the carges behind the Graboids, the

sound and vibration enraging them and driving

them even faster towards him. Val, clearly terrified,

holds his ground and at the last possible second

leaps aside as the Graboids smash through the cliff

beneath him and…sail into thin air and crash to the

ground hundreds of feet below, dying instantly.

With Val about to join them, dangling over the cliff

edge. Rhonda runs to save him and hauls him back

onto solid ground, just as a Graboid scream echoes

nearby. The survivors, bloody and tattered, turn to

face the new attack and find…

Earl…with a pet Graboid.

EARL (LOOKING AT EVERYONE’S

AMAZEMENT): ….What?

www.sfbuzz.com17

Embracing his friend, Val asks how he’s alive and

Earl explains he threw everything out of his pockets

as he ran off, including his stash. Which the

Graboid ate. And which appears to have calmed it

down. The screen fades out on him talking to Burt

about tourists coming to Perfection, and Val and

Rhonda kissing.

It fades up on ad for a brand new Perfection Game

Reserve, with Burt as the Head Warden. We see

footage of the military coming into town and

securing the Graboids, find out Burt refused to let

the carcasses off his land until he was given an

extensive grant and how Rhonda now divides her

time between University of Texas, where she

lectures about Graboids, and town, where she

helps run the reserve along with Earl and Charlie

the Graboid, still permanently high. Val for his

part? Is married to Rhonda and taking classes at U

of T. He’s training to become a zoologist but in the

meantime, he’s still fixing toilets. Just to keep his

hand in…

Reception and Sequels

The movie opened modestly, was critically

acclaimed in the genre press for the unusual step

of being a monster movie set almost entirely

during the day and continues to enjoy a long life on

DVD and On Demand services. No less than three

sequels and a short-lived TV show were produced,

none of which involved Wright, Pegg and Frost in

any way. This wasn’t out of any sense of falling out,

after all the studio were extremely pleased with the

results, but rather a sense of them having

‘graduated’. Interestingly though, the franchise

would remain a regular stopping off point for

English screen writers cutting their teeth in

Hollywood, with both Harold Overman and Toby

Whithouse writing sequels. Also, the Spaced

connection remained a close one, with Jessica Hyne

starring as a colleague of Rhonda’s in the sequel

and Michael Smiley appearing as both the new head

of the Game Reserve in Tremors III and the TV

show and his own, great grandfather in the hugely

entertaining Steampunk prequel, Tremors IV. That

movie was directed by Greg Mottola, who would go

on to work with Pegg and Frost on Paul.

Spaced fans, still smarting from the confirmation of

there being no third series, were split. Many were

extremely fond of the movie but many others

decried it as the three having sold out. Two of the

most vocal criticisms were that they should have

made the film in the UK and that Burt Gummer,

Michael Gross’ character, was just a beefed up

version of Mike, Frost’s character on Spaced.

Wright answered the first criticism both with Shaun

of the Dead, which he directed to huge acclaim

immediately after Tremors, and answered the

second when the DVD of the movie was released. A

deleted scene sees Burt asks Val and Earl whether

they know his nephew Mike, who lives in the UK.

Earl opens his mouth to speak and Val cuts him

off. It also caught some criticism over the

perceived homosexual nature of Val and Earl’s

relationship:

Val: [about Earl] He’s not my

boyfriend!

Earl: [handing beer to Val] It might be

a bit warm, the cooler’s off.

Val: Thanks, babe. [winks]

This was also answered by Wright turning the right

wing criticisms of the movie into a marketing tool,

arranging for a two day film festival at the Alamo

Drafthouse, alternating movies dealing with

homosexuality and buddy action movies. The

festival is still running today, and Wright is viewed

as a friend of both the cinema and the city.

Next Steps

-Wright parlayed his success into not only Shaun of

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the Dead but a permanent ‘talent exchange’

arrangement with the US. This led to him

essentially splitting his career between the US and

the UK, culminating in the confirmation of his Ant-

Man movie at ComicCon in 2012. Rumours persist

that Wright is front runner to take over control of

the Marvel Movie universe when Joss Whedon steps

away but those have yet to be confirmed. The

possibility of him directing an episode of Doctor

Who however, refuses to go away and Wright seems

likely to go behind the camera there for Season 8 in

2014.

- Pegg, despite the doubts of some elements of

British fandom, became a movie star in his own

right in the US, appearing in the Mission:Impossible

and Star Trek reboot series. He also narrowly

missed out on a stint on Doctor Who, and, at time

of writing, is one of the last few actors in

contention for the lead role in Doctor Strange.

-Frost also made it big in the wake of Tremors, not

only through working with Wright and Pegg but as

a regular fixture on US TV. His laconic, deadpan

approach on screen and his fierce love of cooking

off made him a personality in his own right leading

to him being invited to appear on shows as diverse

as Man Vs Food, Dancing With The Stars and The

Daily Show.

-The Cornetto trilogy became, in the end, two. The

UK trilogy consisting of Shaun of the Dead, Hot

Fuzz and The World’s End concludes this year but

the US version has remained frustratingly

incomplete with only Tremors (Red), and Paul

(Green) completed and controversy surrounding

Paul’s status as a Cornetto movie given the fact it

was directed by Mottola. However, in the last few

months it’s been confirmed that Wright has chosen

another script from the vaults;

an abandoned 1980s action comedy called Police

Academy.

It seems that the American blue Cornetto is finally

on the way. Even better, Wright and Pegg have

confirmed this is the long-rumored crossover

movie. Sergeant Nicholas Angel is going to

America. And he’s bringing his ice cream with him.

Written By Alasdair Stuart and Brian Edwards.

This style of 'What If' stories will become a regular

feature of Sfbuzz.com

www.sfbuzz.com19

Some Words On The Future Of SFBuzz MagazineWe hope that you have enjoyed this sampler of SFBuzz Magazine. We hope you can support us through spreading the word.

We are currently running an online fund raising campaign via Indiegogo.com. This is due to run until the 5th June 2013. We hope you can support this with a pledge. We have some great perks.

If you cannot give at this time please tweet, facebook or otherwise spread the word.

We plan to bring you a monthly magazine, in full colour PDF or plain text for ebooks.

The target is no less that four short stories and more articles, interviews and great artwork from talentedindustry professionals.

We welcome your feedback. Please see www.SFbuzz.com to get in touch, or learn how to submit your articles and stories.