PonderismsWhy do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

• To relieve the symptoms of arthritis, rub French’s Mustard into your hands.

• To soothe tired feet, fill a pan with warm water and mix in three tablespoons French’s Mustard.

• It’s against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas.

• In Pueblo, CO it is illegal to let a dandelion grow within city limits.

CONGRATS TO CAST OF HAY FEVER

After two days of auditions, director Angela Martin chose the cast for Hay Fever. “Everyone who auditioned did a terrific job, which made the job difficult,” Angela said.

THE FAMILYJudith Bliss ...................Deb BrunetteDavid Bliss .........Robert Douglas FoxSimon Bliss ............Milton Hughes, Jr.Sorel Bliss ...................Amanda CuzzoClara ............................... Dawn Begin

THE GUESTSSandy Tyrell .......... Mike NovakovichJackie Coryton ............ Jessica TuohyMyra Arundel ..............Kelly BaylessRichard Greatham .......... Paul Braun

THE PRODUCTION STAFFStage Manager ..........Dominic (Nick)

Bellamy-PalmaAsst. Stage Manager ... Tanissa ParksSet Designer ............ Anne KowalczykCostume Designer .......JoAnna TassinLighting Designer .........Mike CliffordHair Designer ..................... Lyn Andre

Rehearsals begin on September 4. Performances are set for November 2, 3 and 9, 2007 at 8:00pm and November 10, 2007 at 2:00pm and 8:00pm.

Oh, come on. You knew this was coming! We’ll need more help behind the scenes with props and set construction

for Hay Fever. The preliminary construction schedule is below.

If you can help out, confirm the dates and times with Stage Manager Nick via email (blizzarddog98@sbcglobal.net) or jingle him on his cell at 708-227-7150.

DATE ...................START ................... ENDSat, Oct 6 .............10:00 AM ..........4:00 PMSun, Oct 14 ..........12:00 PM ........10:00 PMFri, Oct 19 ............6:00 PM ..........10:00 PMSat, Oct 20 ...........12:00 PM ........10:00 PMSun, Oct 21 ..........12:00 PM ........10:00 PMFri, Oct 26 ............6:00 PM ..........10:00 PMSat, Oct 27 ...........12:00 PM ........10:00 PMSun, Oct 28 ..........12:00 PM ........10:00 PM

(S)HE FEELS PRETTY… OH SO PRETTY…AUDITIONS BRINGS OUT THE GOOFBALL IN ALL OF US.

Bob Fox runs a scene with “Efrema” Tutwiler, resplendent in green bodice, gold skirt and sassy hair do.

Hey Ef? The hair is a good look for you, but the shoes have GOT to go!

We Didn’t Start the Fire

At the Great Lakes Maritime Academy, learning how to pilot a boat isn’t just about putting on a cool hat and hollaring “Ahoy there, mateys!” There is a lot of serious work involved and that includes training for hazardous situations.

In the photo above, Jon Jenkins and mates are hosing down the local barbeque gone wrong for their Emergency Assessment and Intervention class.

As you can see from the photo below, they survived to tell the tale. Jon, beardless and in yellow gear, is really enjoying his time as a student again and should graduate in a year or two.

While away, Jon would love to hear from you. Email him at mrjbyhbaby@cs.com.

1. The Godfather (1972)

2. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

3. The Godfather: Part II (1974)

4. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly (1966)

5. Pulp Fiction (1994)

6. Schindler’s List (1993)

7. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

8. Casablanca (1942)

9. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)

10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

TOP 10 MOVIES as voted by IMDb.com users

Top Five DeadliestAnimals – Creatures that

scare the socks off usas reported on www.livescience.com

AFRICAN LION: Giant fangs? Check. Lightning quick? That too. Razor

sharp claws? You betcha. Hungry? You better hope not. These big cats are near perfect hunters.

GREAT WHITE SHARK: Blood in the water can excite these sharks into a feeding frenzy, where they’ll use all 3,000 of their teeth to bite anything that moves.

AUSTRALIAN BOX JELLYFISH: Also known as the sea wasp, this salad-bowl sized jellyfish

can have up to 60 tentacles each 15 feet long. Each tentacle has 5,000 stinging cells and enough toxin to kill 60 humans.

ASIAN COBRA: While the Asian Cobra doesn’t hold the title of most venomous snake, it does the most with what it has. Of the 50,000 deaths by snakebite a year, Asian Cobras are responsible for the largest chunk.

MOSQUITO: Most skeeter bites just make you itch. But some mosquitoes carry and

transfer malaria causing parasites. As a result, these little pests are responsible for the deaths of more than two million people a year.

WORD D E F I N I T I ON— SHITASTIC —

shit•tas•tic [shit-tas-tik] – adjective1. conceived or appearing as if conceived by an unrestrained and perverse imagination; odd; bizarre; grotesque.

2. an object so tacky and

tasteless that it becomesdesirable, especially whenused in a kid showproduction.

See photos.

ANGELA MARTIN is directing Hay Fever by Noel Coward. This is her second foray into directing. She directed If Men Played Cards As Women Do by George Kauffman in Random Acts: 3 One Act Plays in 2002. Angela has been a PAC Rat since 2001 when she played Fatima in Emperor’s New Clothes. “I did theatre in high school, and had not done it in awhile, I thought I would audition and give it a try again, and I got cast!” she says of how she got involved at the theatre. She has been an active member ever since. She became PAC Rat President in the 2005-2006 academic year.

When Angela is not involved in a production, she loves to sew, scrapbook among other crafty things. During the summer if Angela is not at the theatre, she is at the Bristol Renaissance Faire. “I go to the faire at least 5 times during the summer. I dress the part, too. My rennie garb has grown so much it has its own big container.” Music, books (especially the Harry Potter series) and baking are among Angela’s other passions. “Her cupcakes are so good,” says Ellie.

During the day, Angela works as a filing clerk/project assistant/receptionist at a law firm downtown. She has been working downtown for about 12 years. She has her Associates in Arts as well as a Paralegal Certificate from South Suburban College.

Angela has had a lot of experiences on both sides of the stage. She has acted in several of the Children’s Theatre productions including Aladdin, Excalibur and Hansel and Gretel. On the technical side, she has stage managed War of the Worlds and The Curious Savage. Angela has also designed costumes for Liliom, 7 Keys to Baldpate and More than Meets the Eye. “I love doing costumes and props and coming up with unusual ideas for things we cannot find.” One of her favorite projects was making the golden eggs for Jack and the Beanstalk. “We could not find plastic eggs to save our lives, so we used styrofoam eggs. We coated them in plaster of Paris, sanded and painted them gold. It was messy and time consuming but they turned out amazing.”

Angela with Ren Faire Hunk

A schedule of events is online at the theatre’s website. Point your mouse to: http://tinyurl.com/2euf6b

FREE CONCERTS in the PAC

HELP WANTEDMaid needed to clean bachelor apartment. Must be able to navigate small and / or nonexistent paths without toppling over. Height of 5 foot 6 or taller preferable

to see over stacks of papers. Experience in archeological digs a plus. Contact Paul Braun at pabpacrat1@comcast.net for more information.

FOX ON FILM!Bob Fox recently completed a film directed by Rebecca Tulloch called This Old Cabin. Bob stars as Hezekiah Quackenbush in a light and entertaining TV episode about what a “Home Improvement” show might have looked like in the days of log cabins.

You can see the 7 minute video online at YouTube. Click the link below. Comments are welcome and appreciated!

http://tinyurl.com/yrlhdv

Digital Photography

Park Forest Photo Club is sponsoring a Digital Days Workshop, presented by Sony. This 2-day, hands-on workshop is for all skill levels. Youʼll learn how to simplify and effectively use your digital camera in any situation and how to use simple techniques to dramatically improve your photographs. Workshop includes:

> hands-on use of the latest digital equipment

> lighting techniques and outdoor shooting

> live-model practice and Photoshop basics

> techniques for archiving and storing your pictures

> manual settings for exposure/ISO/white balance

> lunch both days

Only $139 for both days!

September 8th and 9th9am-5pm

Matteson Hotel and Conf. CenterIf youʼre interested in this workshop, please contact Al Fritz at 708-747-0717.

For more info on the workshop curriculum, visit:

http://tinyurl.com/ywzsgf

CRAIGSLIST COMMUNITY PET LISTINGS, AND PETFINDER.COM

Unlike shelters, most of which charge a small adoption fee, these sites feature numerous free-pet notices posted by owners.Whatʼs The Catch: Not all owners who post are as honest as youʼd wish.

www.craigslist.org/petwww.petfinder.com

• Labour Day is the holiday we honor working men and women.

• It is observed on the first Monday in September.

• In 1887, Oregon became the first state to make Labour Day a legal holiday.

• The first Labour Day Parade was held in 1882.

• The U.S., Canada and Puerto Rico all observe the first Monday of September as Labour Day.

• Australia celebrates the Eight Hour Day commemorating their successful struggle for a shorter work day.

• Europe celebrates Labour Day on May 1st.

• 5% of the working population have a second job.

LABOUR DAY

RED LAKEBeautiful Northern Minnesota

I Believe……that you can keep going long after you think you canʼt.

REMEMBER TO CONTACT US with any article, photo, want ad or idea at:

* RatRagStaff@yahoo.com *

I monitor this email daily and will respond to all. – Ro

Radio City

Auditions in ChicagoRadio City will conduct auditions for young ballerinas for the role of Clara in the “Radio City Christmas Spectacular starring the Rockettes” at the Rosemont Theatre in Chicago this Christmas season.When: Sun., September 23 at 12:30pmWhere: Lou Conte Dance Studio at Hubbard Street Dance, 1147 West Jackson Blvd., Chicago, ILWhat to Bring: Pointe Shoes and Ballet attire. Picture and resume optional.To reserve a space, please call On Location Education at 914-747-2737 or send an email with your name, address, phone number and email address to:

thesearchforclara@yahoo.com

PRESCRIPTION STORAGEThe moisture and humidity in bathroom medicine cabinets can cause prescription or over-the-counter medication to break down more quickly and lose their effectiveness.

Unless otherwise labeled, store medications in a box in a cool, dry place like a convenient closet or dresser drawer.

IN HONOUR OF STUPID PEOPLE…On Sainsburyʼs peanuts:

“Warning: contains nuts.”(talk about a news flash!)

In the eleventh century, BenedictIX was Pope at 11 years old.

Quiz Answers1. B2. A3. C4. B5. A

Fun Websit

WWW.POPULARITYDIALER.COMWant to flee that meeting? Get out of lunch after an hour? This web-based Popularity Dialer can place one of five fake calls; the boss call, the cousin in trouble call, the male friend call, the female friend call or the affirmation call telling you how wonderful you are. Each call has convenient pauses for your side of the conversation.

SEPTEMBER IS NATIONAL BED CHECK MONTH

1st is Emma M. Nuitt Day6th is Fight Procrastination Day10th is Swap Ideas Day19th is Butterscotch Pudding Day AND Talk

Like a Pirate Day (Arrgh!)24th is National Comic Book Day27th is Ask a Stupid Question Day

1. Serving Size And Serving Per Container: Most packages foods contain more that one serving.

2. Total Calories And Calories From Fat Per Serving: Individual caloric needs vary depending upon age, gender and daily activity.

3. Total Fat, Saturated Fat, Trans Fat: Try to keep your total fat intake down to 60 grams.

4. Cholesterol: Recommended daily total is less than 300mg.

5. Sodium: Recommended daily total is less than 2300mg. A healthy packaged food would have between 300 and 350mg sodium per serving.

6. Total Carbohydrates: Talk to your doctor or dietician about your person daily total.

7. Dietary Fiber: 25 – 30 grams of dietary fiber per day are recommended for most adults.

8. Sugar: In general, the less the better.

*The percentage to the right in each column show the portion of a full day’s recommended intake of the nutrient (fat, saturated fat, salt, etc.) based on a daily total intake of 2000 calories.

Also read the list of ingredients, which is typically printed on another part of the package. Ingredients are listed in descending order by weight. If sugar is first, that means the food probably has a lot of sugar.

For grain products, the words “100% whole grain” should be listed first. Look for monounsaturated fats like olive, canola, and nut oils. Avoid hydrogenated oils (another name for trans fats).

DINER SLANGPAINT IT RED: Put ketchup on an itemJAVA, JOE OR CUP OF MUD: CoffeeA BLONDE W/SAND: Coffee w/cream and

sugarSHAKE ONE IN THE HAY: Strawberry

milkshakeCACKLE FRUIT: EggsWRECK ʼEM: Scrambled eggsADAM AND EVE ON A RAFT: 2 poached eggs

on toastON THE HOOF: Meat cooked rareBLOODHOUND IN THE HAY: Hot dog and

sauerkrautWHISTLEBERRIES: Baked beansFROG STICKS: French friesPAINT A BOW-WOW RED: Hot dog w/

ketchupIRISH TURKEY: Corned beef and cabbagePIN A ROSE ON IT: Add onion to an orderBURN ONE: Put a burger on the grill

Total Fat 10g�� 15%

� Saturated Fat 40g�� 20%

� Trans Fat 0.5g

Cholesterol 70mg�� 23%

Sodium 60mg�� 3%

Total Carbohydrate 0g� 0%

� Dietary Fiber 0g�� 0%

� Sugars 0g

Protein 22g

Vitamin A 0% � •� Vitamin C 0%Calcium 2% � •� Iron 15%

Nutrition FactsServing Size 3 oz (85g)Servings Per Container 1

Amount Per Serving

Calories 180 Calories from Fat 90

% Daily Value*

1.

2.

3.

4.5.6.7.8.

HOW TO SPOTHEALTHFUL FOODS

1. Jeannieʼs future Master, Tony Nelson, found her bottle when he crashed on what Florida beach?

A: Myrtle BeachB: Cocoa BeachC: Son of a Beach

2. What part of Barbara Edenʼs anatomy were TV censors determined to keep covered?

A: Belly ButtonB: ElbowsC: Back of her ears

3. What color was Jeannieʼs bottle?

A: PinkB: PlaidC: Purple

4. In what season did Jeannie and Major Nelson get married?

A: 3B: 5C: 7

5. How old is Jeannie?A: 2,000 years oldB: 12,000 years oldC: 22,000 years old

*Look for answers on next page

I Dreamof Jeannie Quiz

PAC Rat Meeting Fall / Winter Schedule!

The next PAC Rat meeting will be Friday October 5th @ 7:00pm in the PAC Lobby.

(Location subject to change)

• Bats have only one baby a year?• Baskin Robbins once made ketchup

ice cream?• Giraffes are the only animals born

with horns?• Honey is the only food that doesnʼt

spoil?• Swans are the only birds with

penises?