sheen's essay

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A persons career choice should be determined by his or her interest.Discuss.

That is the truth that the decision to involve yourself into a particular

occupation is fateful for your way to the future. Therefore, it is serious

about choosing your occupation and you must be prudentially in making up

your decision. I a

m strongly agreed that a persons career choice should be

determined by his or her interest. In this essay, I will attentively focus on

the three dimensions which h

ave greatly influenced the individuals

interest level which are sense of dedication, the level of motivation and the

intuition of our own.

First and foremost, when you are enthusiastic in the work that you are

doing, there are developed a strong sense of dedication. That means you

have the h

ighly willingness to dedicate yourself into the work. You may be

spending t

he mostly time on your work to achieve the best results and

outcome. Moreover, the willingness of dedication able to pave the way to

the tremendous success, for example, if you do not have the interest on

your current job, then soon will generate a growing sense of d

isenchanting

with the work you are currently work on.

Secondly, the level of the motivation which are indicated by the passion

and interest that you have paid in your work. In other words, highly

motivation will accelerate the speed of working, w

hich in turn the greatly

productivity. In the same token, the greatly productivity boost your self-

confidence and s

elf-satisfactory instead in a positive way. For example, a

persons excellent performance may build up his confidence, satisfaction

and ability.

Comment [M1]: Wrong use of the word

here. Better to use will affect your fate/de

Comment [M2]: Making a choice is a se

issue

Comment [M3]: Prudent (adjective)

Comment [M4]: Making up (phrasal ver

telling a lie/imagining something. Just the w

making is a better choice than making up.

Comment [M5]: I strongly agree (no am

past tense)

Comment [M6]: Which greatly influenc

Comment [M7]: Our own intuition (wor

problem)

Comment [M8]: A strong sense of dedic

developed (word order problem again)

Comment [M9]: No need to use highly

use of adverb)

Comment [M10]: Most of your time (ly

adverb.. u do not show ability to use this w

Comment [M11]: Disenchantment (nou

Comment [M12]: working

Comment [M13]: hanging sentence. Th

seems to be no main verb.

Comment [M14]: high

Comment [M15]: which in turn will gre

increase productivity (word order problem

Comment [M16]: By the same token, n

Comment [M17]: Increased productivit

Comment [M18]: Self-satisfaction (nou



Last but not least, how to choose the best career ourselves? This is thequestions may have been asked frequently especially for the newly

graduation students from University or college. They may feel it is absurd to

follow own interest instead of the figure out the best and quick way to

make them s

uccess and make money as much as possibly they can.

However, our own interest in the particular occupation or job is particularly

important in decision making. That can make us better in doing the things

we truly addicted and like to do. Thus, will not and never doubt about your

intuition, do not hesitate to follow your inner voice. Our own interest is the

most important than others. Take for an example, if you choose a career

that is not in your interest just due to the possibility to make the profit,

then soon you w

ill lost the patient and passion at your work, that may let

you fall into the huge failure.

In a nutshell,

it is the shadow beyond a doubt that I am still hold a strongly

believe on the decision making for our future career should based on our

own interest. Our own interest can boost up our sense of dedication,

increase the motivation level and make you success in doing the job you are

extremely addicted. Indeed, people should be developing a comprehensive

and thoughtful planning in their future career and insure that there is no

regret in the future.

Overall grade: Band 2 higher.

Comment [M19]: Graduated (adjective

Comment [M20]: Succeed (yes u got th

your self correction)

Comment [M21]: Make as much mone

possibly can

Comment [M22]: Do not, not will not

Comment [M23]: More, not most. Whe

comparing two parties use more.

Comment [M24]: Will lose patience (no

Comment [M25]: It is beyond a shadow

doubt that

Comment [M26]: I still strongly believe

Comment [M27]: succeed

Comment [M28]: poor choice of vocab

because addicted is a negative connotation

addicted to drugs.

Comment [M29]: ensure

sheen's essay

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