sheepish duck #7: the love issue
DESCRIPTION
Sheepish Duck is a famous American humor magazine written by some kids in Rhode Island.TRANSCRIPT
3
C O N T E N T S
♥ ♥ ♥
Fan Mail 4 E.S. (Evil Sheep) 32
The Daily Duck 5 What Kind of Duck Are You?
33-34
Easy/Hard 6-7 Love Dictionary 35-37
Smiley Mug 8 Various Drives 38
Ted & His Bread Machine: 3
9 How to Ask For A Second Opinion
39
I Hate Love 10 Up Side/Down Side 40-41
Please Note 11 7 Lunes & 1 Non-Lune 42
Oh No! 12 Sector 9 43
Redfooted: A Story 13-17 A Collection of Lies 44
Odd Cartoon 18 20 of My Fears 45
Mad Libs 19 If… 46
Myself: Wardrobe 20 Music Review 47
Random Squares 21 Love Letters From Crazy People
48-49
Notice 22 Polls Galore 50
Ask a Sheepish Duck 23 Interview with Barbara O’Connor
51
Broomyo & Juliet 24-25 One New Poem 52
Crazy Unicorns 26 Two News Poems 53
Vs. 27 My Life as A Vampire
54
Sleepings Potions 28-29 Special Advertising Section
55
Pretty Angel 30 Sheepish Duck Merchandise Page
56-57
Dylan’s Dating Advice 31 Contributors 58
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D E A R S H E E P I S H D U C K 281 COUNTY ROAD BARRINGTON, RI 02806
W r i t e t o u s .
Dear Sheepish Duck, I really like the things you, like, do. I like to, like, say like a lot. Anyway, like, you rock. Like, you rule, like. Like, I love you! Liz/A.K.A. Like Girl Popo, Montana Dear S.D., You are awesome. You make me feel gray (which is better than black, my usual color). You rule mostly!! Thank you for letting me read you. Bye. Tara/A.K.A. Goth Girl Goth, Utah
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T H E D A I L Y D U C K By Eli Kelley
MOUNT RUSHMORE FELL DOWN!
The North Dakota Scoop of the Day
TIGER SPOTTED IN BARRINGTON
A tourist cried, ―Bloody tiger!‖ on Wednesday.
NEW MOVIE HITS THEATER
LINT MONSTERS A Lint Monster throws driers over the U.S.
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T E D & H I S B R E A D M A C H I N E : 3 By Liza Obel -Omia
Ted was cooking a
chicken. It was only
his first time, but
every-thing was
going along fine. When he
was finished, he took the
chicken out and smiled. He
liked this oven. He started to
use it more often, and as he
did he liked it more than the
bread machine. He even
thought about pulling the
oven out of its place and
carrying it around, but that
would be too hard. Ted
started to love the oven.
Believe it or not, but
Ted’s bread machine had a
tiny, tiny, mini, not-seeable
thing that represented kind
of a brain. In that tiny, tiny,
mini, not-seeable kind of a
brain, the bread machine
felt jealous. He loved Ted
and wanted to hang out with
him.
One day, Ted had out
a turkey and his bread
machine. Instead of grab-
bing the turkey, by accident
Ted grabbed the
bread machine and
placed it in the oven,
and then walked
away. The heat was on and
the bread machine got
hotter and hotter. When Ted
checked on the turkey, he
found out that it was the
bread machine. He yelled
and pulled it out.
He called Travis. “My
bread machine is burnt!” he
cried.
“I’m coming over!”
Travis said.
A few minutes later,
Travis arrived. “I brought my
TAKE AWAY THE BURN &
BROWN® spray in a can.”
Travis sprayed the burn &
brown stuff on Ted’s bread
machine. They let it dry for
about twenty minutes, and
then…
“Thanks! Yay! Yes,”
said Ted. Then they had
some bread.
THE END (for now…)
13
EVAN STABACH
REDFOOTED
A Story
Prologue
ne dark and stormy night, Kit and Mrs. Rose (a friend of Kit’s mother) were driving to Kit’s house from Max’s (Kit’s best friend’s) birthday party.
When they turned down a street, a huge, red pickup with horns on the front slammed into the right door of the car, which propelled Kit out of the open door and into the woods.
O
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CHAPTER 1
it had a choice to make. Either run from the cops and his father, or return to the vehicle. He thought for a while, but finally made up his mind. He chose
to run away. Now, everybody knew the woods were very
dangerous. There were wolves and bears there, but there was a prophecy that the first person to go into the woods would be the forest bane (a person with the powers of the forest).
Kit ran through the forest, but tripped over a root, slipped, and fell to the forest floor.
K
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CHAPTER 2
Ugh,‖ Kit groaned as he picked himself up off the ground. He took the energy bar out of his pocket and bit it. He felt a surge of energy flow through him. He
found a big, green leaf and squeezed it until drops of water fell into his mouth. A figure emerged from the shadows. ―Welcome,‖ it said. ―Who are you?‖ said Kit.
―
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CHAPTER 3
rabbit led Kit to a village. People crowded around him saying things like, ―Welcome, Forest Bane,‖ and ―Who is he?‖
The forester asked, ―There are many things you need to prepare for, but which one first?‖ He pointed at a large billboard that read:
―That one,‖ said Kit, pointing to herban arts.
A
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―Then you will need a map,‖ said the forester, giving Kit a map.
Kit looked at it.
To be continued…
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A MAD LIBS FOR _________ (noun)
By Eli Kelley
Some _________________ named _________
(negative adjective) (noun) ________ got arrested for saying ___________________! (noun) (a made up word) That is just so ____________________!
(gossipy adjective)
Even my _______________ is smart enough not to say (relative)
_________________________! That ________________ (that made-up word from before) (poop-related)
was ludicrous! They are just so ______________ - ______ (adjective) (root)
crazy! And that was our ________________ ______________
(adjective) (verb) __________ show! (time)
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A S K A S H E E P I S H D U C K By Erica Dominguez
Dear Sheepie, My brother always gets all the attention, especially when I’m at home. He comes home with 5 toys and I come home with none. What can I do?
Love, Help!
Dear Help, Well, the best option for you is to taunt your brother with a curly fry. Those are gen-erally effective. If your par-ents would not approve of the idea (mine would) then maybe you could steal some of his toys and hide them under your bed until he turns 16.
Kisses and Hugs, Sheepie
Dear Sheepie, My sister thinks she’s so beautiful, which she is. I try to be as pretty as her, but I’m afraid it will be copying!
Ugh! Pretty Sister
Dear Pretty Sister, My first best idea for you would be to put hair remover in her shampoo and lye in her moisturizer. Other than that, consider plastic surgery.
Kisses and Hugs, Sheepie
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LIZA OBEL-OMIA & EMMA GERMANO
BROOMYO AND JULIET
A Continued Story
ou’ve heard of Gnomeo and Juliet and Romeo and Juliet. But
have you heard of Broomyo and Juliet? They come from two
different families who have always had a family feud.
One warm, broomy day, Juliet and her sister, Beatrice,
were sweeping along the path in the park. Beatrice looked
around and spotted Broomyo. He was sitting on a bench next to
his brother, Tybalt.
“Hey, look. It’s the dorks from next door!” Beatrice said,
pointing to Broomyo and his brother.
“You pointed your ugly, long, longue-licked finger at me!”
Tybalt said, glaring at Beatrice.
“That is what a dork looks like, Juliet. Sitting on a bench
being lazy and dorkish!” said Beatrice, a little too loud.
Tybalt jumped up and shouted, “I’m not dorkish or lazy!”
“Oh, do I smell a challenge?” Beatrice screamed.
. . .
Y
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Continued. . .
“Oh, I think your boogery nose does! But no worries for
me! You are just a gal with a stuck up broom who thinks she is
smart and pretty.” Broomyo and Juliet smiled at the brooms that
had stopped sweeping and stared. Some brooms were even
rushing their children away and telling them not to listen.
“I hate when this happens,” muttered Broomyo. “I’m kind
of used to it, though.” He smiled at Juliet.
“Yeah! Remember when your mom started trash-talking
mine?” Juliet said with a smile. “Right in the middle of the push
market!”
“Heehaha, I know, I know.” Broomyo laughed even
harder.
“Juliet, are you talking to that lowlife machine-made
pickle brooma?” said Beatrice.
“His name is Broomyo,” Juliet said quietly. “Broomyo,
don’t talk to that mean, stuck-up BRAT Beatrice.”
Not to be continued.
Make the end yourself.
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D y l a n ’ s D a t i n g A d v i c e
By Dylan Ingham
D e a r D y l an , My Grilfrynd haytes me beecuz mi speling erors.
Love, Pnill
Dea r Pn i l l , What?
Sincerely, Dylan
Dear Dylan, Help! I work at a zoo and I am trying to find the answer to a mating problem for two albino walruses. One is having a baby and is completely cut off. They leave her stranded on a rock. What should I do?
- Unsupported Walrus Capacitator from Greenpeace
Dear Unsupported Walrus Capacitator , You should make the pregnant albino walrus’s rock remote-controlled so
that if she is stranded, she can be moved over to wherever is a better place.Needs
Sincerely,
Dylan
Dear Dylan,Help, My older sister said to rite you with boy troubles. So here I go. They stink! Boys are meen. They call me names and they pick their noses. How do I get around it? Here in Mrs. Cruz’s 1st grade we don’t get out oftin. Help!
- From Tanya, age 6
I’m a big girl!
Dear Tanya, I’m sorry that you have problems with boys, but you’re asking for hate advice from a person who gives love advice. Sorry!
Sincerely, Dylan
PS: Tell your sister to get her facts about love advice people right.
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E . S . ( E V I L S H E E P ) By Erica Dominguez
Can’t sleep
Counting sheep.
1...2...3...4...
ARGH!
What IS that thing?
Black face,
Curly, white hair.
ICK! It isn’t wearing
underwear!
Okay, I think
I know what
it is. It’s
Another sheep
a real creep.
Evilish looking.
―Stop!‖ I say.
But it won’t
go away.
―Baa, baa, Mwahaha!‖ it cackles.
―Ahh!‖ I went to scream.
And then I realize,
It’s eating my vocal
cords.
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W H A T K I N D O F D U C K A R E Y O U ? By Erica Dominguez
Kindly answer these questions:
1. Which one sounds like you?
a. I will eat any pancake I see.
b. I wish I could whack my sibling with a frying pan.
c. I’m in love with Justin Bieber
2. What do you do at a friend’s house?
a. Raid her refrigerator so only the brussel’s sprouts and old
cheese remain
b. Attempt to fill your pockets with anything that looks good
enough to steal.
c. Dream of your honeymoon with Justin Beiber.
3. What do you dream about during math class?
a. Your roast beef sandwich.
b. Ways to get your teacher fired.
c. You write your initials and Justin Beiber’s all over your notes.
4. When you can’t sleep, what do you count?
a. Meat-lover’s pizza with extra bacon.
b. Knives
c. Marriage proposals from Justin Bieber.
5. What do you and your friends talk about?
a. Different sandwich combinations from Subway.
b. Ways to injure the kid who sits next to you.
c. What you would say at your and Justin Bieber’s wedding.
ANSWER KEY
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A N S W E R K E Y
Mostly As: You are a Super Eater Duck
Mostly Bs: You are a Devilish, Evil Duck
Mostly Cs: You are a Starry-Eyed Crazed Bieber Fan Duck
m
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a·dred·e·bec /a-drědʹ-i-beck/ noun A certain shade of red often seen on lonely people’s houses. The doomed piano teacher painted her bungalow adredebec.
bi·quub /be-cubeʹ/noun Pressure to be calm. Too much biquub made the brain surgeon antsy . bril t/brilt/verb Hug someone whi le eating off a gri l l . She spent a l l evening watching her next door neighbors br i l t .
due·zef·ar /dooʹ-zef-ar/noun A crush on an extra-terrestr ial . The young, secret ive shoe sa lesman won’t admit he has a duezefar.
du·fimq /doo-feemkʹ/ adject ive Slang Done with someone. ”We are hereby dufimq!” said the upset duchess to the nasty duke.
du·gekt /doo ʹ-geckt/ noun A ser ious interest in chefs . Despite her dugekt, my aunt marr ied a zookeeper.
dum·zar /dum-zarr ʹ/ noun When you try to help someone you love and you end up ruining their life. The vagabond’s r ich and famous father wrote a bes tsel l ing memoir called “My Dumb Dumzar.”
dum·zer·a /dum-zeerʹ-a/ noun An expensive dead flower. The stingy banker gave h is maid a dumzera for her bir thday.
el ·be /el ʹ-bee/ adject ive Ludicrously in love. Those b irds are so elbe!
ge·jivo /j i- jeev ʹ-o/noun Hating someone so much you fal l in love with them. Psychiatr is ts from al l over the world gathered for a week in Ice land to analyze the gej ivo en igma.
The L o v e D i c t i o n a r y
Editor: Jackson Obel-Omia
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gudz /goods/adject ive Crazy for someone who dances badly. “I’m gudz for that l ibrar ian who can’t dance!” sa id the mailman.
gu·jek /goo ʹ- jeck/ noun The wrong gift from someone you love. Every year my parents give me eight gujeks for Chanukah. gylp /j i lp/noun When you wish you said something different in your last conversation. There’s no avoiding gylp in therapy.
ha·daag /ha-dag ʹ/verb So desperate you kiss a hobo. The lonely carpet salesman apologized to the hobo for unexpectedly hadaaging h im.
i r ·bule/er ʹ-beool/noun The f lag of love . The hippies proudly displayed their irbule in the backyard. jurdg /jerdge/noun Tickl ish k iss ing . Jurdg is a pleasant d is tract ion from unsolvable problems.
lem·tip /lem ʹ- t ip/verb Secret ly giv ing gifts to someone you love . The
quiet poet preferred lemt ipping to f l ir t ing.
ma·turd /mah-terd ʹ/ noun The opposite of love. The t ime has come for those f i l led with maturd to move away from here.
med·jucz /meh-jooks ʹ/ noun The f lag of hate. Mr. Wilson waved his medjucz every Monday on the bus . moahr /mwahhr/noun Air-kiss sound effects . He sent moahrs as he drove away from his wife.
mou·gose /moo ʹ-gose/ verb To dramat ical ly eat with someone you love. Lady and the Tramp l iked to mougose.
pee·grit /pee ʹ-grit/ noun Felonious tendencies . The thief’s peegri t emerged when he saw the mi l l ion dol lar diamond.
pip·red /pip ʹ-erd/verb Get away from me now, out of my wor ld, out of my mind, disappear forever . He pipreded after his friend told him off again.
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plewt /ploot/verb To love someone so much you die. The br ide and groom almost plewted in the middle of the ceremony! quee·quee /kwee-kwee/ verb When a narwhal fal ls in love with a unicorn and becomes possessed because unicorns don’t exist . The poor narwhal queequeed, and never real ly recovered.
qui·cro /kwee ʹ-krow/verb K i ss ing f ire hydrants . The very strange dog had an unusual habit of quicroing.
quil ·ex /quil l ʹ- ix/noun A vegetarian love interest . He only ate salad with his qui lex .
rz·idy /r izz ʹ- i t ty/noun A hard-to-f ind heart-shaped, wheat pasta sold only on Valent ine’s Day. I looked al l over for rzidy on February 14. schmitt /shhhmit/noun A fart of love. The br ide forgave him for schmitt ing in the middle of the ceremony.
tenn·fo /ten ʹ-fo/verb When you hug and kiss ten people. He tennfoed at the giant family reunion. u·ma·tat·a /yoo-ma-
tat ʹ-a/ verb I don’t l ike you. He said “umatata” to the bul ly! ur·maas·ga·sas /(s i lent
r ) u-mass ʹ-ga-sass/verb avoiding boredom by inv it ing someone on a date. I have noth ing to do, I might as wel l urmaasgasas.
yit·r ·ham /yi t ʹ-er-ham/ noun A specia l ham for yetis . Once a year, on March 11 t h , the r ich yet is buy y itrhams for the poor yet is . zifff (zif ) noun Laughter on a bad day. Nothing is better than a zifff after failing a test!
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V A R I O U S D R I V E S By Kendall Jones
Sponsored by: Vampires
Date: Midnight in Transylvania
Why: Not enough humans are stupid enough to get
bitten since Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Curse you,
Sarah Michelle Gellar !
Sponsored by: Zombies
Date: 11:00 @ Ye Olde Graveyard
Why: WE NEED BRAINS!
Sponsored by: Dr. Frankenstein
Date: Midnight @ The Frankenstein Place
Why: I am making a monster. Creating Life!
Blood drive
Brain Drive
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HOW TO ASK FOR A SECOND OPINION By Kendall Jones
rrive with the bare essentials: duct tape, trash can, and a
box. Buy low, sell high. Then, dig in your heels, or dig a hole. Yes, a whole hole. Next, find a pretty one (as in capes). Now you can call for help, because buying Nicki Minaj tickets are cheap. Ok, find a table and use a yardstick. Then, diversify your portfolio. Take a large bag to the morgue. You have to be in the right place at the right time. Don’t look before you leap, look after. Do something honorable for not looking. Smile; frown. Learn the law of pickles, and if you get stung, don’t. If you lean to the left, apply ointment to provide cushions for the bungee jumping. Avoid yellow snow. Call your
attorney, now. Just dial 1-800-IWANTMYLAWYER-2-CALLANATTORNEY. Cover your mouth and speak slowly. Make sure the pop-sicle is plugged in. Be very loud. Don’t get out before it’s too late for cramps. Know that this isn’t easy: Find a concrete/grassy field. Remember—no one cares. Finally, look under the couch. That is how to ask for a second opinion…NOT! I WASTED YOUR TIME! That’ll be $50,000.00 please. P.S. Watch out for the cops. P.P.S. Look on the bright side: You’re down $50,000.00, and I’m up $50,000.00. No bright side for you. For me, maybe. Not you.
A
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7 L U N E S & 1 N O N - L U N E By Amelia Pappas-Horii
My Hedge…
It’s very green.
It towers way above me. I am scared.
Behind i t
Something….behind it! Hiding behind the hedge, I…
…can’t see it!
Coming
It is coming. It might catch me soon!
I AM CAUGHT!
Caught
I am caught. Please come and help me!
I am trapped!
Find me…
Please find me! I’m in the green h… h…
The horrid hedge.
FOUND
I AM FOUND. Deep inside the green hedge.
They saved me.
They
Who is THEY? They are behind the tree.
The brown tree.
The Brown Tree
It is massive. They are behind it.
They found me. Who is behind the hedge?
This is my imagination. My mind.
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S E C T O R 9 By Dylan Ingham
e was flying. High above the ground with-out a thing to
worry about. He looked down at the perfect land-
scape and saw a wonderful mansion with a sparkly
sign above the gold door that said WELCOME TO
YOUR NEW HOME.
―Is that for me?‖ he wondered aloud.
Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice, that said, ―Yes, it is.‖
He saw his mom, but she was different. Her tone was
lighter and less harsh, and there weren’t as many gray hairs
on her head, or black bags under her eyes. It was as if his
mom had gone back in time fifteen years.
―It is all for you,‖ said the mom.
―Thank you so mu—‖ the boy stopped mid-sentence.
He saw that the sky was turning red and the wind was picking
up. On the horizon, he saw the land crumbling into dust.
―What’s happening!?‖ yelled the boy. But his scream was
lost in the now dangerously fast gales of a premature tornado.
It wasn’t premature for long, though. Soon, it became
a full-fledged twister. . .
To be continued…
H
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A C O L L E C T I O N O F L I E S By Hannah Hicks -Santos
I really hate cows.
I really hate potatoes.
I’m saying these things with my fingers crossed.
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2 0 O F M Y F E A R S By Hannah Hicks -Santos
1. Coats.
2. My reflection.
3. Being alone.
4. The dark.
5. Hobos.
6. This number.
7. Sticks.
8. Socks.
9. Pop Tarts.
10. Boxes.
11. Chairs.
12. This number too.
13. And this one.
14. Triskaidekaphobia.
15. Being afraid of peanut butter.
16. This number.
17. The word “as.”
18. Peanut butter.
19. Fear.
20. This list.
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I F … By Jack Kill i lea
If magic were real , I would be a bunny .
If the submarine was purple , the Beatles
would be five thousand dollars richer.
If all pants were green , every day would
be funnish ((kind of).
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M U S I C R E V I E W By Sam Trachtenberg
“Sexy & I know It” by LMFAO I think this band is
good, but completely
inappropriate for kids.
I mean, come on,
people. Do you know
what the letters LMFAO mean? If you do, I think you know
plenty about this band. Even though people are reading this they
will continue to ignore me. Have you ever heard ―believe
everything you read‖? The music video is also super
inappropriate for the people that watch it. Now this song and
this music video have put images in our heads that are
unnecessary to everyone.
48
LOVE LETTERS FROM CRAZY PEOPLE By Hannah Hicks -Santos
DEER ELLA,
U R PRIT-T. I ♥ U. U R AN AN-JEL.
SYNED,
SOM1 Hoo is nut inna Nut howse
DEER ELLA,
I ♥ U. I TROOLY DOo. ALL I KIN THINcK OF IS U.
SIGNED,
NOT A STALKER
DEER ELLA,
I OPE U LYKE TEH NU SHOOZ I MAD
U. THAY R SOPOST 2 MASSAJ YOR FIT.
I ♥ U!
- SOM1 HOO IZ Nut INnA NUT HOWSE.
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Dear Sycho, THANKS A LOT, GENIUS. Your so-called “amazing” massage shoes almost ATE my feet! It may be Saint Valentine’s Day, when everybody is supposed to love everybody else, but . . . I HATE YOU! STOP SENDING ME LOVE LETTERS, SYCHO!
-Ella
Dat Urt.
-SYcho
Dear Man in a Nuthouse, I didn’t mean it like that. I just didn’t really enjoy being chased around my own house by a pair of sneakers that wanted to eat my feet and just leave me screaming on the floor with bleeding ankles. (OK, now I’m just fantasizing, sorry.) But anyway, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.
-Ella
I ♥ U!
I ♥ U ANT I ALLWAYS WIL.
-SYcho
50
P O L L S G A L O R E By Hannah Hicks -Santos
IF YOU HAD ONE BILLION DOLLARS,
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
5 p eo p le sa i d : b u y L eg o s e t s
3 p eo p le sa i d : t r ee ho u se
m a n si o n s ys t e m, c ol l eg e f u n ds ,
c h a ri t y, Fe r r ar i
3 p eo p le sa i d : t r ip to
A u s tr a li a
3 p eo p le sa i d : b u y 1 00 ca t s ,
1 0 0 p o ni e s, 1 00 p up p ie s , 1 0 0
h a m st e rs , c o l le g e
1 p er s on sa i d : e v er y th i ng
51
A REAL INTERVIEW WITH BARBARA O’CONNOR
By Eli Kelley
ELI: What are your two favorite books you’ve written?
B.O’CONNOR: The Small Adventure of Popeye & Elvis and
Greetings from Nowhere.
ELI: Can you compare any of your books to your life at all?
B.O’C: Yes. All (or most) of my book settings are in the south,
where I was growing up!
ELI: Do you like writing fiction or biographies?
B.O’C: Fiction. because you don’t have to do too much research.
ELI: What do you do in your spare time?
B.O’C: Tap dancing and reading.
ELI: What was the first book you wrote?
B.O’C: Just a Little Will Power. (not published)
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O N E N E W P O E M By Amelia Pappas-Horii
The Dancing Balls of Light
These dancing balls of light
flickering and slowly dimming
Till the light fades away…
then suddenly they flash quickly
Making our faces impossible to see
luminating our faces the lights
come on again.
All this happened cause
Kendall moved the lights.
The dancing balls of lights.
53
T W O N E W P O E M S By Liza Obel -Omia
Weather
The wind sings a soft song of
love and peace.
The rain taps a tune of wonder.
The thunder strikes a flash of excitement.
Weather has feeling, too.
Rainbow It seems to smile with color and
light. It calls you, pulling you
towards it. You race to find the
end, but never can. It starts to fade
and you say –
I will find that gold next time.
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M Y L I F E A S A V A M P I R E By Liza Obel -Omia
Dear Diary,
I am a vampire. I hate garlic, bright light, and the Twilight
series! I have long, super hark brown hair that curls at the top.
In bright light I have to wear a light-reppellent bracelet, and
when people eat garlic I faint! But I also have love! Matt Teeri is
soooo cute. The thing is, though, every time I get close to him I
bite my hand and suck the blood. Then I need more blood, so I
have to drink the blood from my water bottle. By that time, Matt
has left. I love him so much. I wish he would notice me.
Maybe he will. Goodbye.
- ELizabeth Bite
55
S P E C I A L A D V E R T I S I N G S E C T I O N
The Cool Purse by Liza
What is a Cool Purse™
you ask? It is a purse that
gives you fashion advice.
Plus, if you ask the purse
for something fashionable
it will come out of the bag!
This purse comes in many
colors, including Sunset
Stripes, Yellow, Lily Pad
Green, Spattered Blood
Red and Dark Lonely
Black Hole Black.
Only $100,000.64!
Animal Translator™ by Liza
A great
way to talk to
your pet, the
Animal
Translator™ can say all
kinds of things, like “You
stink” and “Yo, give me a
treat!” You can find out if
your pet is hip, mellow, or
crazy! It comes in all colors
and sizes. Only $999.00!
Alive Wand by Emma
If you point this
at anything and
say this spell: “ALIVE,
ALIVE, TURN THIS ALIVE!”
anything fake will turn
alive. Like a teddy bear
will turn alive. Or a toy
horse will turn alive. Or a
toy boat will turn alive.
Only $100,000!
Talk to You Alphabet Soup by Liza
ith this soup you
just ask a question
and it gives you an
answer. You can
ask about your boyfriend
while enjoying a hot soup.
But remember—if you eat
the “y” it is gone and the
soup will not say “yes”
anymore, only “es.” Go
buy a can right now.
Only $17.99.
W
By Emma Germano & Liza Obel-Omia
56
S H E E P I S H D U C K M E R C H A N D I S E P A G E
Official Sheepish Duck
Keychain
$3.00
Sheepish Duck Staff
Autographs $10.00
Sheepish Duck Plush Doll
“Sheepish Plush”
$15.00
Sheepish Duck
Magnet
$3.00
By Eli Kelley
57
Sheepish Duck Shirt
$11.00
Sheepish Duck
Bumper Sticker
$2.00
Sheepish Duck
Catalogue
$2.00
Sheepish Duck
Mug
$5.00
CUSTOMER REVIEW:
These things are awesome! We wasted all our money on them.
Who cares, though. Yeah! – coolgal567 and crazygal576
58
C O N T R I B U T O R S I N R A N D O M O R D E R
Hannah Hicks-Santos is rum-ored to love bacon and trips to the beach. She is ten-years-old and can often be found—anywhere! When you find her, she may be drawing, writing or singing. Do not be surprised. Emma Germano likes to write,
likes to draw, and wants to be a teacher. Kendall Jones is in 6th grade. She likes porcupines, sharp ob-jects, and matches. She may attempt to maim you. Amelia Pappas-Horii is 11-years-old and enjoys many things, including eating, more eating, dancing, hanging out, and annoying her sister. Liza Obel-Omia is a singer, a writer, a dancer, a reader, a swimmer, a happy-bringer and a rubber duck collector. Erica Dominguez is an 11-year-old synesthete. A self-proclaimed clown hater and Lucille Ball fan, she enjoys eating Eggos, drawing, and watching I Love Lucy with her cat. Approach her at your own
risk.
Jackson Obel-Omia likes to read and write. He plays basketball and baseball. He also runs cross country. He is 12 years old. Sam Trachtenberg is fun. He likes video games, swimming, and coins. He is in 5th grade
and is ten-years-old. He would like to build a boat. Finlay Earsman is a 5th grader and lives in a family of four. He can be funny and weird. Evan Stabach is in 5th grade. He is adventurous and fast, and he likes skiing, swimming, and stories. Jack Killilea is in 5th grade and wants to be a historian. His dad cuts his hair. Eli Kelley is a 4th grader at Hampden Meadows. When he's not creating funny stories with Bri and the gang, he can be found playing guitar, drums and singing for his new band. Hello Everyone! My name is Dylan Paul Ingham (obviously) and I am 11-years old. I like to
do many things, including eat, play, draw, think, and, of course, write.
59
Thank you for reading
Sheepish Duck!
How to reach us:
401-247-1920 x6
sheepishduck.tumblr.com
twitter.com/sheepishduck
Barrington Public Library
281 County Road
Barrington, Rhode Island
02806