shofar - november 2011 - cheshvan/kislev 5772

Shofar Cheshvan/Kislev 5772 Jewish Family Congregation November 2011

www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

From the Rabbi’s Desk page 1 Service Schedule page 2 November Oneg Hosts page 3 Ask the Rabbi page 5 Jewish Camping page 7 Yahrzeit/Annivs/Birthdays page 11 Congregant’s Drash page 12

JiFTY page 13 Simkhat Torah pix page 15 Support-A-Walk pix page 16 Social Action Committee page 17 Kids Ask the Rabbi page 22 Donations Form page 26 JFC Calendar page 27

From the Rabbi’s Desk

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YOM KIPPUR SERMON 5772

If you have been paying attention tonight to the language of our prayers, and if you will pay attention again tomor-row, you will note that they are expressed in the plural: we say, for example, "we have sinned", not "I have sinned". This is not at all different from most of our Jewish liturgy, which is also expressed in the plural. We speak of Adonai "our Gd" ... Elohyenu. We ask Gd to bless us, Barkheynu.

The texts of the morning blessings that we chant early in the High Holy Day morning services, however, are ex-pressed in the singular: we thank Gd there for providing all my needs, and for removing sleep from my eyes. And the traditional text of the silent prayer opens with Elohai, my Gd, and refers to my tongue" and concludes with refer-ences to the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart. Then the plural returns, in the last line, which speaks about Gd making peace for us.

The parts of our prayers that are expressed in the plural are the ones that are expected to be said or sung by the whole assembly. The parts that are expressed in the singu-lar tend to be the ones meant to be read by the individual, either silently or without the company of other worship-pers.

I have always thought this very interesting, especially in connection with the litanies of confession that mark Yom Kippur. It is certainly true that we confess to a long list of sins, errors, mistakes, offenses, knowing that we individu-ally are probably not guilty of them all. But we read these lists aloud as a community anyway, giving cover, as it were, to the ones who have committed sins that we our-selves have not committed, while their participation gives

cover to our particular offenses. Safety in numbers, or something like that.

But, all the while that we are doing this, reading confes-sions in the plural, each of us is present as a unique indi-vidual. And no one else can know what is weighing on the heart of another person.

But we can make some educated guesses.

There are some amongst us tonight who are worrying about their children ... are the kids keeping up at school, are they turning into the kind of young adults I want them to be, have I as a parent provided them with a healthy en-vironment in which to develop good values, am I guiding them to make good choices and decisions in their lives? Or, has my child already been derailed ... is he suffering ... how can I help her, now that she is nearly grown up? And there are more fundamental concerns: in this uncertain economy, willi be able to provide the basic necessities for my kids? If there are medical or psychological issues as well, the challenges increase significantly. A parent can feel very much alone in facing these issues, despite the crowd around us.

Some are dealing with aging parents. This is a balancing act, which forces us to confront conflicting priorities, and asks us to make difficult decisions. At what point does the adult child take over responsibility for the parent's medical and other decisions? Am I certain of the choices the parent would make, were s/he able to do so? Watching a parent diminish in capacities is a painful and sad experience, which precipitates a kind of grieving, long before death arrives. And as the beloved parent fades, does the adult child almost wish for the relief that death will bring? If so, is that wrong? Might it not be a desire to preserve the dig-nity of the parent, which extended life will erode steadily?

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May NOT be reproduced without written permission from Rabbi Carla Freedman.

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar November 2011

BOARD HOST: Elise Serby (203) 894-1720

NOVEMBER ONEG HOSTS

NOVEMBER

Friday, Nov 4/ Heshvan 9 6:30 -7:15 pm Family Service Saturday, Nov 5 10:00 am Shabbat Morning Service

Friday, Nov 11/ Heshvan 15 6:30 pm Pot Luck Dinner*** 8:00 pm Parshat Vayera

Friday, Nov 18/ Heshvan 22 7:30 pm GRADE 6 SERVICE Youth Group Rock Shabbat Parshat Hayei Sarah Saturday, Nov 19 10:00 am Shabbat Morning Service

Friday, Nov 25/ Heshvan 29 7:30 pm Parshat Toldot

***please bring a veggie or dairy dish to share with 8 people. NO pizza, please. And no pasta (last time we had carb overload!). there is no sign up…just come and enjoy a relaxed dinner, with some Shabbat singing, and Birkat haMazon…adults and children are welcome!

SERVICE SCHEDULE

Jewish Family

Congregation 111 Smith Ridge Road

P.O. Box 249 South Salem, NY 10590 Phone: (914) 763-3028 Fax: (914) 763-3069 e-mail: [email protected]

jewishfamilycongregation.org

Rabbi

Carla Freedman [email protected]

Cantor Kerry Ben-David

[email protected]

School Director Leslie Gottlieb

[email protected] Early Childhood Center Director Jane Weil Emmer

[email protected]

Temple Administrator Jolie Levy

[email protected]

Board Of Trustees Richard Mishkin,

President 914-764-8305;

Mark Lavin,

Vice President; Polly Schnell,

Vice President; Jeanette Sanders,

Secretary; Carrie Kane

Elise Serby Patterson Shafer Debra Verbeke

Elisa Zuckerberg and

Johanna Perlman, Past President

Shofar Editor Jolie Levy

Shofar Printer EnterMarket

Please find a substitute if you cannot host your assigned Oneg.

Please contact the JFC Office with the names of the new hosts.

Please contact your Board Host if you have any questions.

-- ONEG HOSTS --

PLEASE REMEMBER NO MEAT GOODIES MAY BE SERVED AT ANY ONEG

November 4 Debra Cohen

David & Amy Fischer

November 11 Stuart & Elaine Feldman

Donn Henshaw & Abby Plotka

November 18 GRADE 6 SERVICE

November 25

Robert Fischman Bryon & Victoria Friedman

Cheshvan/Kislev 5772 Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

OUR “SPECIAL ARRANGEMENTS” HIGH HOLY DAY APPEAL WAS A GREAT SUCCESS!

IF YOU HAVE ALREADY SENT IN YOUR PLEDGE,

MANY, MANY THANKS!

IF YOU HAVE NOT YET DONE SO, PLEASE MAIL IT IN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

JFC WELCOMES NEW MEMBERS RICHARD WEISER

of Katonah, NY and his son, LUKE

JFC WELCOMES NEW MEMBERS GRAEME & CATHERINE LIPPER

of Wilton, CT and their children, JUSTIN and ETHAN

JFC WELCOMES NEW MEMBERS ERIC & MEREDITH RUDIN

of South Salem, NY and their children,

SOPHIE, ABIGAIL and JONATHAN

JFC WELCOMES NEW MEMBERS ELLEN BARTH

of Pound Ridge, NY and her daughter, KARINA

JFC WELCOMES NEW MEMBERS DAVID & ELIZABETH COOPER

of Cross River, NY and their sons,

DYLAN and JOSHUA


The Green Room

The Blue Room

The Yellow Room


Don’t forget to check out the JFC Blog !

Go to www.jfc.rjblogs.org

ASK THE RABBI Question: If Rosh HaShanah is the beginning of the new year, why isn’t the month it occurs in considered the first month of the year?

Answer: Good point…on the secular calendar, January is the first month of the new year, but on the Jewish calen-dar, Tishre (of which Rosh HaShanah is the first and second day) is considered the seventh month. Boy, is that confus-ing!

But there is an explanation.

The foundational event of the Jewish calendar and even the Jewish religion is the exodus from Egypt, which led the Israelites to be at Mt Sinai, and to enter into their cove-nant with God. Without that exodus, there would be no Judaism.

And the exodus took place in the month of spring, as the Torah tells us, and the Torah designated the month of spring, now called Nisan , as the first month (Ex: 12:2; Lev.23: 5). Everything else in Judaism depends on the lib-eration from slavery happening, so it makes sense that the year begins at that time. But Passover begins on the eve of the 15th day of the month, so that event could not be the beginning of the year.

And if you check carefully, you will see that Rosh HaSha-nah is the only holy day mandated by the Torah (Rosh Ha-Shanah, Yom Kippur, Pesakh, Shavuot and Sukkot) that begins on the first day of a month (Lev. 23: 4-44). So, even though the Torah doesn’t identify Rosh HaShanah by that name (Lev. 23: 23-25), it became the best candidate for the first day(s) of the new year.

In antiquity, Pesakh, Shavuot and Sukkot, all of which are harvest festivals, were the most important occasions on the calendar. But as we have moved away from the agri-cultural life of our ancestors, the harvest aspects of these festivals have been superseded by the spiritual compo-nents and the connections to the exodus story itself. And so the festivals of Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, with their emphasis on spiritual renewal and forgiveness of sins, have become our High Holy Days.

It apparently didn’t really bother our ancestors that the new year begins in the seventh month. But that has left us with lots of explaining to do, every year!

Happy 5772.

http://jfc.rjblogs.org


CAPITAL CAMPAIGN

STATEMENTS HAVE

BEEN MAILED.

PAYMENTS ARE DUE

BY DEC. 31.

JFC CLASSIFIED

ALL ADS ARE A FLAT $18 AND MAY NOT EXCEED 50 WORDS. THEY WILL RUN FOR ONE MONTH ONLY.

To place an ad, submit the text and your payment to the JFC Office. You may email the text to

[email protected] and either drop off or mail your check (payable to JFC).

Credit card payments are also accepted.

JFC ANNOUNCEMENTS

If you would like to “announce” a Simcha in your family, please

send the text (pictures are welcome too!) to Jolie Levy at [email protected].

Announcements must be

received by the 15th of the month to appear in the next month’s Shofar.

Please feel free to acknowledge

your Simcha with an $18 donation to any JFC Fund or with a leaf on

our Simcha Tree.

Donation forms appear in every Shofar.


As a young girl, my parents worked as group directors at the sleep away camp my brother and I attended in Fleischmanns, New York, now an enclave for ultra-Orthodox Jews not far from Kingston and Woodstock. Recently, the town was devastated by Hurricane Irene and many of the old mansions on Main Street that used to serve as inns and restaurants were destroyed. I read a report of one Brooklyn woman’s fall rental that ended up floating away with her fate sealed in it. So now that I have your full attention about Upstate, let me tell you more about Camp Ta-Ri-Go. Did I mention that every year at the High Holy Days, I run into one of my old bunk-mates in the tent at JFC? Not my point either but… those were the days. Ta-Ri-Go was a Jewish camp in that almost every camper and staff member was Jewish. On Friday nights a very elderly rabbi led services in the Rec Hall on Boys’ Campus (maybe he was in his fifties then-- but to me, not even then, he was ancient… although I do picture him in my mind’s eye as being frail and closer to 100). His age is surely not at issue here. I recall him lead-ing the blessings over the candles, challah and wine. I remember singing boldly the Shema and Shabbat songs—although they were Shabbos songs to me then. The campers-- led by the testosterone en-riched senior boys group-- stamped out a hardy “Shabbat Shalom” beating down the already worn wooden floor boards. We swayed to Hi Neh Ma Tov and ended the session with the camp Alma mater that I used to sing to my kids in the car as a way to bribe them into good behavior once we got home. Those promises would cut short that song and those from our Sing & Color War performances. I wonder how much they really hated it, in truth. That is pretty much where the Jewish camp experience began and ended for me. There were no Jewish educa-tors or rabbis to assist in the programming. It was sports and inter-camp sports and some fun trips and lots of swimming in a mucky lake that was absolutely freezing on early August mornings. Only the toads and salamanders seemed happy. I got no pity either as a staff-brat. Paul Cohen, head of the waterfront and personal friend of my parents, said in no uncertain terms, “Get in!” I did man-age to fake him out and passed the deep water swim test by doing the sidestroke while dipping my toes in the sandy bottom just to spring forth for a few more spurious laps. Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same given the conditions? Back when I was a grade three and six teacher at JFC, Jane Emmer and I worked together in the Religious

School. Jane taught kindergarten then. Makes sense. She enrolled Andrew at Eisner Camp (a U.R.J. camp in the Berkshires) and then Matthew soon after. It did not take one long after initiating a conversation with her to know that she had drunk the Eisner Kool-Aid. She was a goner. Other JFC students enrolled (Samantha Berg, Alyssa Au-erbach, Ivy Cohen, Alex Perlman, and others) at Eisner and others at neighboring Crane Lake Camp (Gabe Kremer & Daniel Bloch). Our kids tried summer camps, day and sleep away. Our youngest, Renna, was about nine and she followed her next older brother to a five day a week sleep away camp in Port Jervis. She never felt good about the place except for the pre-visit with par-ents. There was no community spirit, no sense of conti-nuity since campers came and went and many did not return from year to year, and there was a minimal con-nection (she felt anyway) to her counselors and the staff, in general. I kept thinking of Jane and her family’s com-mitment to Eisner. I felt like a traitor for not exploring it more, earlier on, but life takes over sometimes.

After a miserable summer for Renna, I had the school year to convince her to consider Eisner. I explained all of the reasons back to her that she had once described to me—a list that included why her camp did not feel… so good. For everything she had to say, I gave her what I believed was a fair accounting of what Eisner had to offer although I had no direct experience with the place other than the accolades that came from some much admired colleagues of mine as well as the Emmer clan. I think I went as far as to promise her that on every issue, she would find that Eisner was going to be that supportive, nurturing, and fulfilling environment that we all hope to find for our children and ourselves. Well, Renna was sucked into what is affectionately re-ferred to as the “Eisner Bubble” after only a day at camp. Using Bunk1.com’s website as a parent back at home to

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Jewish Camping By Leslie Gottlieb


Our 7th graders held their annual High Holy Days Food Drive.

Thanks to everyone who helped. You guys did a wonderful job!!!

HIGH HOLY DAYS FOOD DRIVE


From the Rabbi’s Desk (cont’d)

The responsibility for aging parents can raise many con-flicts. Some may be financial, like the conflict between paying for adequate care for the parent while also paying for kids in college or planning for one's own retirement. Some may be about time, like suspending one's career to meet the needs of the aging parent. The death of one par-ent may increase the responsibility of the adult child for the surviving parent, with the added dimension of the adult child's own grieving process. And if the decision is about bringing the parent into one's home" the potentially conflicting needs of the parent, the responsible adult, the spouse and the children in the home will have to be con-sidered. And what about conflict between adult siblings over the decisions and actions that arise out of the par-ent's declining health? Knowing that your siblings do not share your values or priorities can lead to feelings of isola-tion and frustration.

This predicament is all the more complex for those who have had a troubled or difficult relationship with a parent now in declining health. As we all know, some parents are not nurturing or supportive of their children, and yet, the burden of responsibility may still rest on the adult child. If there is resentment or even stronger feelings, who can fault the person who did not get what slhe needed as a child? Will that resentment cause guilty feelings? How can one be honest about the relationship and the Obligations it may suggest, and at the same time maintain one's own integrity? Wrestling with these issues can cause a person to withdraw in psychic pain, adding loneliness to the equa-tion as well.

There are people here tonight with these worries, and you don't know who they are.

Others amongst us are dealing with troubled marital rela-tionships, not knowing what the new year will bring in terms of reconciliation or rupture. While it takes courage to strike out on one's own, it also takes courage and com-mitment to work at healing the breach; how does one know when it is appropriate to work on the relationship, and when that time has passed? When there are children involved, the marital partners may struggle to do what is

best for themselves while doing what is best for the chil-dren too. Marital separation brings with it a long series of losses, from sense of self to cherished hopes, from be-loved objects to the memories they conjure up. A couple living with this is actually in crisis throughout the time they struggle with the choices, and the person to whom each used to turn for comfort and strength is now the very person to whom slhe cannot go. This accentuates the iso-lation that a person may feel.

Others amongst us are living with the consequences of deciding that the marriage is over. But dissolving a mar-riage is not a simple or quick thing, unfortunately. If the process is coloured by a protracted legal procedure, the opportunities for healing are delayed, and the sense of living in limbo exacerbates the pain already present. As time passes without resolution, even the daily duties of life become daunting, wearing down one's sense of the joy of life. That can be a very lonely place to be.

There are people here tonight who live with these prob-lems, and you don't know who they are.

And what of those here tonight who are worried about their jobs? With unemployment running so high in the country right now, everyone knows people who have lost their jobs. And we all must face the prospect of having to join that number. But the contemplation of that may be too dire to even speak aloud, leaving us feeling more separate and alone than ever, certain that no one else is living with this fear.

Some are keeping to themselves as they confront a medi-cal diagnosis that is scary. This precludes getting support from family or friends, but it allows life to proceed as though unthreatened. Perhaps that illusion is strong enough to have some value, but it can only be temporary, and therefore it becomes more urgent to protect it. So the person agonizes alone about what lies ahead.

There are many other issues that people amongst us this evening are dealing with, things that they do not discuss, things that reinforce their sense of isolation.

Some are watching the fluctuations on Wall Street and wondering how they will survive in retirement. Others are watching the stagnant housing market, knowing that they

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CHOIR

If you would like to join the choir, or for more information, please contact Kathy Storfer at [email protected]

We welcome all adults -- 13 or older!



Does your company match charitable donations? JFC is a non-profit organization, and your

contributions may qualify.

Gail Ascher Liza Breslin Oliver Capece Cindy Carson David Ceisler Eve Chipman Reyna Cohen Evan Dodes Matthew Emmer Elaine Feldman Amy Fischer Samson Robert Friedman Allen Gabor Nina Claire Gitlitz Andrew Glass Roy Goldman Steven Goodstein Edward Gordon Dylan Gottlieb Jonathan Hansonbrook Kenneth Hoffman Leonardo Junquera Aaron Kaplan Joel Kaplan

Felice Kempler Emily Perl Kingsley Harrison Lavin Sigal Leitner Gary Levine Paul Malamet David Marceau Renee Mendell Freddy Perlman Matthew Portnoy Harry Rosenhouse Rayn Schnell Maya Schwartz Ethan Smith Judy Vandervelden Sebastian Wallach Jodi Waxman Lindsay Waxman Calvin Wein Miranda Wein Penelope Wein Trudy Wood Mira Zaslow

Please call the JFC Office when any relevant information arises or changes so all Birthday, Anniversary and

Yahrzeit listings are accurate and up to date. JFC can only

list names/dates that have been reported to us.

BIRTHDAYS

Have you considered celebrating signifi-cant birthdays and anniversaries with a

leaf on our Simcha Tree of Life?

Call the JFC Office for details.

Richard Bersch & Amy Selig John Grzymala & Linda Lederman

Lowell & Nicole Haims Douglas & Susan Kaufman

Jodi & Tony Senese Eric Sherr & Michele Auerbach

ANNIVERSARIES

Morton Birnbaum Harry Firestein Helen Garfiel Sheila Gitlitz Morton Greenwald Hirsh Grossman Arthur Klein Irene Levine Mordecai Lewittes Joseph Lobenthal Sallie Lobenthal Joseph Victor Meister

Melvin Morris Yale Ossher Ruth Rothwax Al Rubin Betty Rubin Marvin Schattner Sam Schmeltzer Freda Shuler Rae Shulman Aaron Stillman Edgar Strauss

YAHRZEITS


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CONGREGANT’S DRASH

This year, we are adding a number of innovations to our Shabbat evening calendar, and the first of these to pop up will be Congregant’s Drash. The Hebrew term drash means an interpretation, an elaboration, an attempt to flesh out or draw out (that is the literal meaning) some lesson or idea from the Biblical text; it is closely related to the term midrash, which is a form of Biblical commentary that has become a genre unto itself. The idea, in the context of JFC, is to examine a Biblical character (Rebecca? Joshua? David?) and draw lessons from that figure’s life. Or, perhaps the idea will be to examine a particular story in the Torah (or other parts of the Jewish Bible…The Tower of Babel? The rebellion of Korakh? The life of King Saul?) to learn something from it.

We now make that opportunity available to you. You are invited to prepare a drash of not more

than 10 minutes (shorter if possible, to allow for questions), as part of a Friday evening service. The first occasion was Friday, October 21, and Michael Salpeter delivered an excellent drash that evening!! The next opportunity will be Friday, March 30, and the final one will be Friday, May 11. All of these drash events will take place on Fridays with a 7:30 pm service. Please feel free to discuss with Rabbi Freedman or the Ritual Committee (there will be no editing or su-pervising, unless you ask for help) any ideas you might be considering, and please, book a date to have a turn at Congregant’s Drash!


September 8, 2011 was the first JiFTY youth group meeting! We started with

our classic name game introducing new members. Then we played our favorite

past time in JiFTY: ping-pong! Next, we had our Social Action Co-Vice Presidents,

Jackie Kalter and Sierra Shafer, introduce us to an organization called Global Hun-

ger Shabbat. Global Hunger Shabbat sends money to impoverished countries to

help them buy food and grow their own crops. Global Hunger Shabbat wants to

help these countries become less dependent on foreign aid. We had delicious food

and amazing desserts. It was a very fun meeting, and we are excited for the rest

of the year. Before the meeting we started planning our Rosh Hashanah and Yom

Kippur services that were right around the corner! JiFTY planned a children’s ser-

vice for both holidays. We had great music and some fabulous skits to help the

children at JFC learn about each holiday. We hope you were there!

We still have registration openings. We en-

courage all 8-12th graders to come and join in on

the fun! Please

visit the JFC web-

site and print out

your registration

forms. Forms are

sent in to Leslie Gottlieb who is the Youth Group

advisor.

JiFTY By Jessica Sheptin


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Many thanks to the following people for helping clean our portion of Route 35:

Debbie Lavin Mark Lavin Josh Rauch Rob Rauch

Alan Sanders Josh Strongin Ed Verbeke

Thanks also to Ted Bloch and Rob Strongin

for organizing the cleanup for us!

ROADSIDE CLEANUP Sept. 25, 2011

JFC EXTENDS THANKS TO MICHELLE BLUM

Sure hope you were

here to join us!

Simkhat Torah at JFC

JFC wishes to thank long-time member

Michelle Blum

Michelle volunteered to clean and rearrange our kitchen. She scrubbed, threw out,

labeled, and had some shelves built that were missing.

Thank you Michelle!


On Sunday October 2nd, 17 members, friends, and family from JFC walked together in Support Connection's Support-A-Walk. As a team, we raised over $10,000 with contributions from roughly 140 people!! In fact, JFC was the number one fundraising team for this year's walk. That's truly amazing!! The monies we raised fund Support Connection's ex-cellent emotional, social, and educational support services to women (and their families and friends) dealing with breast or ovarian cancer. And many of their telephone support services are available nationwide. If you know anyone who needs support for either breast or ovarian cancer, refer them to Support Connection. And mark your calendars for next year - the walk is scheduled for Sunday October 7th, 2012. And, it's not too late to donate! Contact Debra Paget at [email protected]

Front row/kneeling: Johanna Perlman with Sadie, Jeff Berg Standing: Ali Gardiner, Barbara Forst, Alan Forst, Debra Paget, Linda Wildman, John Mucciolo, Wally Gardiner, Lisa Block, Ted Bloch, Peter Breslin, Laurie Wolkin, Liza Breslin, Samantha Berg, Teri Gardiner, Jacob Breslin

Support Connection’s Support-A-Walk - October 2, 2011

Donations to JFC

All recent donations and High Holy Day “Special Arrangement” Pledges will be listed

in the December Shofar.


JFC Social Action Committee by Patterson Shafer

My Path While I am likely not in the majority, I am certain I am not alone. I struggle with questions such as defining the na-ture of my Higher Power, God. What does it mean to be Jewish? Or, as Bill Cosby wondered: “Why is there air?” His answer: “to blow up basketballs” is as correct as any. Our answers to these unfathomable questions are per-sonal. There is no correct answer.

In the years since my conversion at JFC, it all seems some-what inseparable. Ritual is certainly a part of Jewish life and worship. I’m picking it up. Slowly. I bow late, always a step behind. I wait for strong visual or verbal cues before I make a move. I have to refer to written notes before do-ing anything Oneg. Rarely do I pronounce anything cor-rectly. And being partially tone deaf, I mouth the words to our wonderful songs in the hope of not offending anyone nearby.

Prayer is communication. I pray silently, never beseeching, only for guidance. Maybe it was too much loud rock and roll, maybe I never learned the language, but the responses are never loud and clear. I do the best I can.

I believe true spirituality is manifested through our actions. Call me obtuse, but it’s the only way I can be sure I am connecting. And I believe the ultimate manifestation of Jewish life is through social action. Action through physical service, or through giving what we can for those same causes. Jewish Family Congregation provides many opportuni-ties for such spiritual fulfillment: Midnight Runs, Annual Blood Drive, Adopt-A-Highway, and Katonah Community Cen-

ter among them.

The Midnight Run is a community effort, with supporters making soup and bag dinners and distributing food, clothing and supplies to the homeless in New York. This is an excellent mitzvah for B'nai Mitzvah families. The next Midnight Run will be March 17. We are now collecting warm men’s and women’s clothing for this fall’s Midnight Run, as well as backpacks, coats and blankets. We are also looking for donations of building materials (specifically 800 sq. ft of roll roofing, roofing nails and roofing cement) to make watertight the garage where the Midnight Run donations are stored.

We will also be organizing a fix-up day later this fall.

The annual Blood Drive was November 11th. JFC is historically a strong donor to this critically important gift to our greater community. We hope you had the opportunity to donate.

For more information on these and other Social Action Committee activities, please contact Debbie Lavin or Jeanette Sanders, the SAC chairs.

ShopWithScrip!

And help support JFC at no cost to you while shopping at the same stores you already visit!

If you have not yet created an account with ShopWithScrip, please contact the JFC Office and we’ll get you started! It’s easy! It’s free! And there are many exciting offers!

The Tzedakah of the Month

For NOVEMBER Is

HOMES FOR HEROES FOUNDATION Their purpose is to provide or coordinate financial assistance and housing resources to our nation’s heroes such as military personnel, police/peace

officers, firefighters and first responders in need.

Selected by the

JFC Social Action Committee

Want to help? Contact Debbie Lavin ([email protected]) or Jeanette Sanders ([email protected])

Next Midnight Run: March 17, 2012

mailto:[email protected]


- - - Lots of new vendors! - - - Check website for details.


need to sell their house in order to move on in their lives. Some are worrying about the high cost of college, with their kids making their way through middle and high school. Others are watching their business shrink, wonder-ing when it will be necessary to accept the reality that it is no longer a viable operation.

Some are struggling with depression. Some have high blood pressure. Others have a family history of heart dis-ease, cancer, or Alzheimer's, and they are wondering when that history will catch up with them.

There are people among us, of varying ages, coming to terms with their sexual orientation, and wondering how and when they will be able to live comfortably with it; they wonder what the reactions of others will be, and that may keep them isolated as they try to work all of this out.

And we know from sad experience that some may be driven to the edge, but never reveal that to the people around them, so that when the unthinkable happens, we are all left to struggle with our own failure to know what was going on, and to prevent it.

Nor is it true that the feeling of isolation is an entirely adult phenomenon. Kids in elementary, middle and high school report this to their parents or guidance counselors, if they are lucky enough to have the self-confidence to share these uncomfortable experiences with another. But most of the kids who feel left out, who feel alone, keep these sad ideas to themselves, sure that verbalizing them will only make it worse.

There are people sitting nearby you, or across the tent, who struggle with these concerns, and you don't know which issue is on whose mind.

It is clear, however, that despite all the plural pronouns we read as we confess our sins, we are in fact an assembly of individuals, alone with our own personal crises and issues, unaware of what the next person is struggling with.

Our liturgists knew this, of course, and yet they gave us a litany of confessions cast in the plural. What were they thinking?

Perhaps they wrote our prayers in the plural as an anti-dote to the isolation each person feels at some time. They were wise, those folks who lived many hundreds of years ago, and they required a quorum of ten Jewish adults (in those days, all male of course) for a prayer service, so that Jewish worship became a communal activity, not a solitary act. It is not the case that Jews can't pray alone ... of course we can and we do. But in making the service a com-munal experience, the rabbis of old were marshalling forces against the isolation of the individual.

We especially see this at work in Jewish mourning prac-tices. The mourner is obligated to say Kaddish for the de-ceased, but Kaddish must be said in the company of a min-yan, a quorum of ten. The traditional recitation of Kaddish is responsive, with the community chiming in at specific points, so that though the mourners alone say most of it out loud, they know through our response that they are not alone. At precisely the time when grief might make a person feel very isolated, the community is called upon to be present and supportive. Our tradition says that we are supposed to provide food for the mourners, not because they cannot produce it themselves, but because eating is a social experience and the mourner must not be allowed to withdraw from social contact by not eating.

Moreover, the mourner is expected to attend services both morning and evening for 30 days in the case of all relatives, and for a year for parents. This prevents the mourner from disappearing into private grief. In previous times and places, Jews lived in close proximity to each other, whether by choice or by law, so they could easily keep tabs on one another. If somebody failed to show up for the morning or evening service, at least 9 others would know and check up on him (yes, only the men were re-quired to attend the minyan). Since people formerly took very seriously the responsibility of saying Kaddish, some-one's absence would be a signal that something is amiss.

Today, we establish our homes wherever we please, and we value our privacy. Our jobs and our personal lives often make conflicting demands on us, so that we have many obligations and many places to be, all the time. Thus, very few of us know when another's absence is really a distress signal.

Our practice of assembling after our Shabbat services for some food and conversation is supposed to be for the pur-pose of connecting with our fellow congregants. But many people, me included, dread that social hour, because we are not adept at small talk, and find it hard to enter con-versations. It is also true that some people go out of their way to include all who are present, while others do exactly the opposite, and feeling alone in the Oneg Room is not a pleasant thing. If you read the recent article in Reform Ju-daism Magazine about people's experiences as guests or even prospective members at various temples' Oneg Shab-bat events, you know that these things happen every-where.

So here we are, a collection of individuals, each with our own worries, heartaches, tsuris. But we are not alone. We are part of a community, and community is humanity's response to that sense of isolation that so many of us ex-perience.

But if you attend the service and don't stay for the Oneg Shabbat, you will not give or receive from the community. If you don't say hello to the person sitting beside or near

(Continued from page 10)





This month’s question is another posed by the now-first-grader who visited me over the summer with some serious matters to discuss.

Question: Who was the first Jew?

Answer: That’s a complicated question to answer.

The traditional approach is to identify Abraham as the first Jew. He lived about 4200 years ago. But we only know about Abraham from what the Torah tells us about him. And it has very little to say about his religious practices. We know that he and his son Isaac were circumcised. And we know that the meal he served his three visitors conforms to the rules about what Jews are supposed to eat, and in what order, rules that come much later in the Torah, and are even later than that made stricter by the rabbis. But we have no information about what he actually believed, or what his religious practices might have been, other than that they involved sacrifices.

Since the commandment to observe Shabbat came much later, when the Israelites received the com-mandments at Mt Sinai, we do not suspect that Abraham observed Shabbat. He would not have observed any of our holy days, either. He would not have prayed while wearing a tallit. He may have

covered his head – most people in the ancient Mid-dle East seem to have done that – but he did not wear a kippah.

So Abraham is a poor candidate to be “the first Jew”. But tradition traces our ancestry back to him, regardless.

A better candidate would be, in my opinion, Moses. He lived about 3300 years ago. After all, accord-ing to our tradition, he taught all the command-ments and laws to our people. So we can reasonably expect that he followed those commandments, if not exactly as we do today, then at least as best he could.

But many of the things we identify as Jewish prac-tice (ie, lighting candles for Shabbat, saying bless-ings, wearing a tallit at morning services) are inven-tions of the earliest rabbis, who lived between 1500 and 2000 years ago. These things were not done prior to the time of the rabbis. So maybe they were the first Jews, at least as we now un-derstand the term.

As you can see, this is not a simple question to an-swer. And it requires us to decide what we mean by the term “Jew”. But that’s a discussion for a different time!

Kids Ask the Rabbi

Jewish Family Congregation Early Childhood Center

Where Family is our middle name

YOU CAN STILL REGISTER FOR 2011-12!

Please visit our website at www.jewishfamilycongregation.org OR call (914) 763-3028


verify in photos the exuberance of her missives--- I knew my promise to her was being fulfilled. That was eight years ago. This past summer, Renna was a full counselor at camp… like so many of her camp friends that stayed on to share with those younger all that this place has to offer. I never saw friends like this anywhere in life… friends that were there for each other through thick and thin over the years, friends who came to each other’s shiva minyans for family members, friends who would do just about any-thing for each other, friends who slept in the Negev desert together sharing everything they owned, and who ended up hiking up Masasda at sunrise, friends who don’t come and go like some school friends who move and travel in different circles from year to year. These were brothers and sisters in it for life. The staff, more like aunts and un-cles. The rabbis, leaders and thinkers and not just sports directors yelling at a kid who can’t catch a ball or swim twenty laps. The Israeli staff, a Jewish connection much deeper than I could ever imagine. This was a bubble and I was so happy she was in it. In the spring when Renna went to visit colleges that had accepted her, we rolled into the drive of the school she ended up choosing. As we entered the gates, there was a posse of girls with welcome signs and they were jumping up and down screaming “Welcome to Connecticut Col-lege!!!” They reminded me so much of the crazy-fun ex-perience of dropping off your child at Eisner—or perhaps

any great summer camp. The counselors at Eisner every summer line the campus yelling welcomes and I believe that on an unconscious level, perhaps, Renna’s decision was helped by the greeting she got at that college, one that reminded her on a biological and spiritual level of her home away from home. If you as a parent are considering sending your child to a sleep away camp, let me highly recommend that you consider visiting Eisner or Crane Lake soon—or one of the other Jewish URJ camps (the Blum kids go to Harlem and love it there). I can only speak about the Eisner camp ex-perience and wished I had listened to the Emmers earlier but we got there in time for Renna. Our boys missed that ship and I think would have had much better summers had they have gone, as well. Too late for them, but not for your kids. Just don’t wait to look into it. Some units are already filled. Go to the URJ website to learn more. Kids can start attending sessions as young as (entering) grade two for two week sessions. Last month, many of our JFC kids (the Rose & Glass families and others) sent their young ones to a trial camper weekend at Eisner. Ask them about it. At present, JFC sends close to twenty campers and staffers to Eisner. Just think about it and then… as the Nike ad says, just do it! You and your entire family will all be richer for it and the Jewish connection made there will go deeper than anything else… oh, except our great Reli-gious School and ECC!!!!!

(Continued from page 7)

Jewish Camping (cont’d) By Leslie Gottlieb


Don’t forget to stop in and check out the JFC Gift Shop!

The items change frequently!

If you are interested in pur-chasing anything, please let

us know in the JFC Office.

you, you will not contribute to the building of community. If all of us fail to contribute to the building of community, there will be no community, and then we will be left alone, with our worries, our heartaches, our tsuris.

But you are here tonight, and you are not alone. There are people here who are just as lonely, just as isolated, just as preoccupied with their own issues as you are. And they are not alone.

You are not alone, and they are not alone when you both take on the privilege and responsibility of being part of "we". Every time we pray together over this long day of Yom Kippur, every time we join together to read aloud, and speak with one voice, the voice of "we", we are dis-rupting the isolation that is the hallmark of our time.

And every time we share the burden of those long confes-sional lists of sins, every time we acknowledge sins we probably didn't commit, every time we are giving cover to someone else's confession, we join together to make a community.

It is certainly possible to repent your sins at home, alone. But you don't. Instead, you come to be with others doing the same thing, despite the profound isolation that you may sometimes feel. Each time you walk through the entry to the tent, you leave behind the world of isolation and separation, and when you emerge into the sanctuary, our holy space, you enter a world of holiness and connection, the world of this Jewish community. You can have that same experience when you walk through the doors into

our sanctuary in the building, shedding the burdens of loneliness to find joy and connectedness with your fellow worshipers.

So make use of that opportunity, to become part of the "we". Say that word with special kavannah, intention and concentration, and discover how it feels to connect with others.

You do not need to know what another's particular burden may be. You only need to know that everyone has a par-ticular burden, and that you can lighten the load for some-one just by being here to make the "WE~" of all our prayers. When we ask for blessings, for forgiveness of sin, for renewal of our lives, we use that plural form "we", and we ask for ourselves and for everyone else. That means that in this tent, hundreds of people are asking for bless-ings, forgiveness and renewal for you. And you don't even know who they are or what sins they need to confess.

You don't need to know that. What you do need to know is that each of us is holding up part of the canopy that represents community, holding it up with one hand while we schlep our personal tsuris along with the other. To keep the canopy open fully, so that it can shelter all of us, we each need to do our part.

So I invite you, this Yom Kippur evening, to hold up your piece of the canopy that is "we", and I invite you, after Yom Kippur is over, to continue to do that by giving voice and presence to that "we", the community of JFC, of which you are a vital member.

G'mar Khatima tova ... may your experience of this Yom Kippur seal you in the Book of life for a year of health, peace, and joy.

(Continued from page19)




Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat

1 ECC UJA Toy Drive Begins

2 ECC

3 K-3/CC/SMP Class Photos

4 ECC ECC Staff Mtg. 12:15

Creation Station

Family Service 6:30-7:15

5 Gr. 7 9-10:45 Lunch ‘N Learn

11:00-1:00

6 Gr. 4-6 9:00-12:00 Kids Knesset 11:10-11:30

7 ECC Gr. 7 4:20-6:15

8 ECC

BOOK FAIR PICKUP

Ritual Mtg

9 ECC RS Comm. Mtg 12:30 Ladies’ Bazaar

10 K-3/CC/SMP/YG

Kids Knesset 5:10-5:30

Bd Mtg

11 NO ECC VETERANS’ DAY OFFICE CLOSED

Dinner 6:30 Service 8:00

12 NO Gr. 7

13 NO Gr. 4-6

14 ECC Gr. 7 4:20-6:15

15 ECC

16 ECC

[K/L Early Dismissal]

17 K-3/CC/SMP

18 ECC

Creation Station

Gr. 6 Service Family Game Night YG ROCK SHABBAT

Service 7:30 Tot Shabbat

19 Gr. 7 9-11:00 (class photos 10:45-11:00)

20 Gr. 4-6 9:00-12:00 Gr. 5 11:15-12:00 Mock trial: Jacob & Esau (Toldot)

21 ECC Gr. 7 4:20-6:15

22 ECC

23 NO ECC

24

THANKSGIVING

OFFICE CLOSED

25 NO ECC

THANKSGIVING WEEKEND

OFFICE CLOSED

Service 7:30 Tot Shabbat

26 NO Gr. 7

27 NO Gr. 4-6 THANKSGIVING

WEEKEND

28 ECC Gr. 7 4:20-6:15

29 ECC

30 ECC

November 2011

JEWISH FAMILY CONGREGATION

JFC BLOOD DRIVE

K-3: 4:15-6:00 CC: 6:15-7:15 YG: 7:15-8:15

Jewish Family Congregation 111 Smith Ridge Rd/Rte. 123

P.O. Box 249

South Salem, NY 10590

Non Profit Organization

Postage PAID

White Plains, NY Permit No. 9022

CURRENT RESIDENT OR

shofar - november 2011 - cheshvan/kislev 5772

Documents

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service schedule page

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