Created by Caroline Whyte Evaluated by Judy L. Skorek, assistant director of University Resources for Women

Does this sound familiar… You are in class and you want to answer a question but you just can’t get yourself to raise your hand. You may be afraid of what the other students may think of your opinion. You may be afraid that you are going to have the wrong answer or a stupid answer. You are at a party but you are bored because you don’t know anyone but your best friend. He/she is off talking to his/her other friends while you are left in the dust. You want to start talking to the people around you but you are too shy to approach them.

These are just a couple of the situations shy adolescents face. What is shyness then?

Trouble interacting with other people.

Little confidence. Low self-esteem. Anxiety when socializing. Embarrasses easily. Does not speak up.

What are some symptoms of shyness?

May cancel social situations at the last minute.

Makes little eye contact when

talking. Clings to one person. Blames self for everything. Few friends. Does not talk much. Soft spoken. Frequent sadness.

What causes shyness?

It may be biological. Unfortunately, no one is sure exactly why people are shy. Theories suggest that people who have been shy their whole lives have a gene for it rather than people who became shy later on in life.

It may depend on upbringing. Some evidence also suggests it may just depend on whomever raised the child. If a parent is shy his/her behavior in social situations may affect the child. The parents might not have shown how to interact because they do not know themselves.

Drastic changes in someone’s life. A drastic event like rape could really affect someone and cause him or her to not trust people and thus making them more shy. Another event like moving from a small town to a big city could cause someone to feel intimidated by classmates.

Certain situations. Many people also become shy when they are in situations like asking someone out or speaking in front of a class. Everyone becomes shy at least one point in their life. Some people are more shy than others and shyness becomes a part of their personality.

Different phases in life. During the teen years people become shy because it is a time where adolescents think more about their body image. About 40% of teens report being shy in one situation or another. Females start gaining weight in undesired places. Some males are shorter than females. Both start gaining weight and getting zits. Adolescents also start paying attention to the media and how they want their body to look.

How can a student help himself or herself deal with their shyness? Many WebPages and books offer some guidance (look below). Some adolescents have found help through counseling. Parents’

insurance policies may cover counseling or a guidance counselor is also available through schools.

Tips: - Go to social situations with a friend, don’t back out. - Slowly build your confidence by focusing on the positives of yourself. - Accept compliments from people. A simple “thank you” is nice instead of freezing up and not knowing how to respond. - Do not put yourself down. - Hang out with people who bring your spirit up, not down. - Next time you are in a social situation make it your goal to introduce yourself to at least one person. If you know a person from a class ask them something about that class. If you have a friend in common, bring that up with them. If you recognize anyone from anywhere, bring it up to him or her. If you were introduced to the person before, simply ask them if they remember you. You can also compliment someone on something they did. Sometimes just smiling helps, too. Even telling a good joke to break the ice is a good idea. Those are just some ideas as to how you can start talking to people. - Face your fears. - Reward yourself for every step you take. - Learn to accept who you are. - Learn to accept your mistakes.

Food For Thought

Shyness is NOT always a problem. It can even be a positive on some note. For example, if a person is scared to approach strangers that could help them in situations where it is best NOT to approach people. Shyness can become a problem though if it is keeping you from achieving academically or if you are unhappy or lonely. The person that needs to decide when it is a problem is YOU. If you find that you are shy and it is a problem, don’t automatically think that you cannot change. People change all the time and you are no exception. Do not let low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence keep you from reaching your full potential. DARE to reach for the stars and believe in yourself.

http://www.shykids.com/ This website is focused on helping children and teens with shyness. It also gives advice to parents and teachers who know children with shyness. http://www.shyness.com/shyness-clinic.html This website has a lot of helpful links for people who are shy. http://www.bps.org.uk/publications/thepsychologist%5Csep02crozier.pdf More in depth information on shyness and what you can do about it. http://www.ericfacility.net/ericdigests/ed295741.html A website on information on what shyness is and how it may occur.

Overcoming Shyness by M. Blaine Smith Someone who was also a shy adolescent wrote this book. He gives helpful advice for shy adolescents on how to deal with it. Shyness: A Bold New Approach by Bernardo Carducci Bernardo was also shy when he was younger. He is a professor of psychology and director of the Shyness Institute at Indiana University Southeast. He offers suggestions and explains everything one needs to know about shyness. The following website gives a review of the book. http://www.indiana.edu/~rcapub/v25n2/carducci.shtml

Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens, the by Sean Covey Sean Covey focuses on how to help teens develop good, moral habits. He gives advice as to what teens should focus on in their life. He also makes the reader realize who she/he is and how to bring out the best in oneself. In order to help the reader do these things he gives small baby steps and advice to the reader.