single!Young Christian Woman

A P U B L I C AT I O N O F O N M Y O W N N O W M I N I S T R I E S J U N 1 0

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waysto get youra day

wanted:a co-signer formy Mini Cooper

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receipt!

staycationPlanning the perfect

save that

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SINGLE! YOUNG CHRISTIAN WOMAN

⠃⠃⠃A publication of On My Own Ministrieswww.onmyownnow.com

Editor in chiefDonna Lee Schillingerwww.twitter.com/D_L_Schillinger

ContributorsDebra CollinsKimberly MillerJulie AnnTamara JaneIsunji Cardoso

Art DirectorDaniela Bermúdezwww.twitter.com/donamexa

STRAIGHT TALK FROM THE PROVERBS

FOR GOOD GRIEF(ING), SILENCE IS GOLDENBy Donna Lee Schillinger

CENTER RING

THE MENNONITE AND THE DIVABy Donna Lee Schillinger

REBA RAY’S DOWN HEALTHY COOKIN’ FOR ONE ON A BUDGET

5 WAYS TO GET YOUR 5 A DAYBy Reba Ray

DEAR GABBY

PARKED IN PORTLANDBy The Gabster

SPARE CHANGE

10 STOPS ON THE PERFECT STAYCATIONBy Julie Ann

FASHION DIVINA

SAVE THAT RECEIPT!By Tamara Jane and Donna Lee Schillinger

JUST WHAT YOU NEED

BETTER THAN AN ENERGY DRINKBy Donna Lee Schillinger

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single!birthday,

A very special “thank you” to all of our readers, contributing writers, our art

director and editor in chief, Donna Lee Schillinger, who with each issue, prove to us anything is possible when work-

ing for His kingdom.

Young Christian Woman

1sthappy

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For Good Grief(ing),

Silence is Golden

In honor of my grandfather, Wilbur Hunter, who passed away on May 8, 2010, I offer this observa-tion: Americans suck at comforting people. There are some wonderful things about American culture, but when it comes to grieving, our culture has left us completely unprepared. We have no idea how to comfort someone who has just lost someone very close. Probably because we just don’t think it’s ever going to happen to us!

When my brother-in-law passed away at 46 years of age, his wife needed support that I didn’t know how to give. Having been married for almost 15 years, this man was her life. When I saw her for the first time after he passed away, she looked like I’d never seen her look before – lost. It was so sad and she was so upset and I… was clueless as to how to help. I was hurting acutely as well, and having recently suffered the loss of my own son, one would think I would

know what to do in such a situation. In those first hours at my sister-in-law’s home, I wracked my brain for some direction on how to behave. I knew what my sister-in-law was feeling, but also knew better than to tell her that. That’s rule number one, a griev-ing person doesn’t want to hear that you know how they feel – she won’t believe it or appreciate it, even if it’s true.

Then the book of Job came to mind. Now Job’s three friends have gone down in history as examples of what not to do for a friend who is suffering, but that’s not fair. It’s true that those guys screwed up the mo-ment they opened their mouths, but do you recall what they did before they spoke? Take note: “When they saw [Job] from a distance, they could hardly rec-ognize him, they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was” (Job 2:12-13).

Here it is – how to co-grieve in two simple steps: 1. Don’t hold back your own feelings of grief. 2. Just sit quietly with the grieving person. Simple. On the flip-side, our proverb tells us what not to do: sing songs. Duh! Right? Wrong. Maybe your momma taught you better than to break out into song while you’re in the

by Donna Lee Schillinger

Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.

Proverbs 25:20

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straight talk

presence of someone who is grieving, but I can tell you from experience, not all have the good judg-ment not to “sing songs.”

A life has been lost, but all we can muster is 15 min-utes of reverence. About that soon after the mourn-ers arrive, they start discussing the weather, the traffic, a movie that just came out – anything. It’s like, “We did our thing, we gave a tearful hug to the widow, life goes on, get over it.” For the person mourning, the fact that life goes on is infuriating. The person mourn-ing most heavily would like all the world to stop for at least one full day and observe her grief with her – to sit in silent contemplation of the one she has lost.

On the day of my son’s funeral, we went to my mother’s house after the burial and within 10 minutes, it was like we were at a family reunion. All the rev-erence for the occasion that had been apparent at the grave site dissipated and only my husband and I were left sitting on the couch, choking down a sand-wich, listening to mundane conversation around us, wondering what the heck just happened! Did every-one simultaneously forget that our son died?

It doesn’t always play out this way. Sometimes the person who was closest to the deceased will not ap-pear to be heavily grieved, and some may not want

comfort. Some, particularly if the death of their loved one was a result of a long battle with disease or from old age, may have done a lot of their heavy grieving in the months that preceded the death. They may be in a “let’s celebrate their life” mode. In that case, do it, celebrate their life. This doesn’t mean it’s OK to start talking about books and movies within 15 minutes, it means the grieving person wants the mood to be positive, but still all about the one they love.

The important thing is to take your cues from the person with whom you’re grieving; match their mood and don’t change the subject. This day is all about the person who passed away. Stay focused. That’s it. It’s simple, yet it does not necessarily feel natural or comfortable. Do you think Job’s friends might have been getting a little hungry for a sub sandwich or antsy for pillow or something around about day four of sitting on the ground with Job? We may feel ex-tremely uncomfortable from the minute we arrive to the minute we walk out the door – but we can know that we’re doing the right thing and the only thing we can do for a grieving person.

The person mourning most heavily would like all the world to stop for at least one full day

and observe her grief with her – to sit in silent contemplation of the one she has lost.

Hold this thought: Shared silence is comforting.

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Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying,”What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:25, 26, 28-33.

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The Mennonite &The Diva

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center ring

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I saw something in WalMart the other day that caused me to evaluate my value system. I saw a Mennonite family that had adopted a Chinese baby girl.

It is rather ironical that Mennonites dress plainly so as not to call attention to self (among other things), and yet their style of dress is quite attention-grabbing. The pur-pose is defeated whenever they leave their own circles. And so I notice them, but not just notice, I ogle them. I cannot explain my fascination with Mennonites – I just love to look at them (though try not to be caught doing so). But on this day in WalMart, I was staring at something more than their bonnets. I was so stunned by the site of a little Chinese girl dressed in calico that I just walked right up to the older sister who was holding her and asked the obvious, “Did your family adopt her?” (She could have been a foster child, I guess.)

Yes, they had.

by Donna Lee Schillinger

The baby, who had a beautiful name I can’t recall, had been in the U.S. about three months. She looked to be about 18 months old. I said a few words to her and then put my foot in my mouth again, saying, “Oh, I guess she hasn’t been in the country long enough to learn English.” Then I recalled that many Mennonites speak German in the home. We had a nice little conver-sation between two families who have adopted. They also inquired of my son; we exchanged well wishes and went on through the checkout.

On the ride home, I told my daughter, “I feel sorry for that Chinese baby.” We chuckled thinking of the day she finally realizes she had been brought to the land of opportunity by Mennonites. As the humorous thoughts were form-ing in my head, I simultaneously rec-ognized there was a problem with my thinking. So I began to explore mental-ly why I thought the Chinese baby was less fortunate than if she had been ad-opted by a mainstream American fam-ily. What do we have that Mennonites don’t? Certainly not money. The Men-nonites in this area are well-off – sim-ple, but not lacking for anything. They use electricity, drive cars and have cell phones, so they don’t lack for modern conveniences. They shop at the same grocery store, and I’ve been to their bake sales – food is certainly in their favor. I finally concluded that what we have that they don’t is a huge variety of fashion accoutrements and entertain-ment choices.

Wow. So I felt sorry for that little Chi-nese girl because some day she would realize she can’t wear paisley, and that she would miss out on things like “Al-vin and the Chipmunks,” “Hannah Montana” and when she’s grown, “Des-perate Housewives.” How could a sta-ble family*, and a strong, moral com-munity make up for this little girl being denied pop culture?

Even as I was reflecting on how much I apparently value fashion and enter-tainment choices, I received in the mail a review copy of Divanomics: How to be Fabulous When You’re Broke by Michelle McKinney Hammond. Normally, it would take me up to six months to review a book, but on that same day, I just happened

to have a two-hour window with noth-ing else to do but read. I was intrigued to learn that the well-known diva had come on hard times – books not sell-ing and all that – and now had major financial problems such as needing to dump an overpriced condo, staving off creditors before they repossessed her wig collection, and the like.

Having always lived modestly – and not by choice – I found it hard to mus-ter sympathy for Hammond as she is forced to deconstruct her empire. I would not be so bold as to say that God brought her to this financial trial as a way of setting things straight, but it is quite obvious that in this trial, He is drawing her closer to Him. I was touched by her final reflections about the things that truly matter. The book is packed with decent advice about how to live frugally, but nothing ground-breaking. It might be useful if, like Hammond, one had never in her life given a thought to being frugal and now suddenly needed to become just that. However, for those of us who have been living it all our lives, this book reads like Dick and Jane. I did learn a new trick about house-sitting a McMansion in the chapter “How to Live in a House That’s beyond Your Means.”

Let’s just take that trick, for example, and dissect it. The advice is that there are agencies (she lists a Web site), that represent people who are out of the country, have more than one home, are trying to sell their home, or for some other reason, have a huge, hunking house that is sitting vacant, and would

Wow. So I felt sorry for that little Chinese girl because some day she would real-ize she can’t wear paisley, and that she would miss out on things like “Alvin and the Chipmunks,” “Hannah Montana” and when she’s grown, “Desperate House-wives.” How could a stable family*, and a strong, moral community make up for this little girl being denied pop culture?

*In 1982 (last reported stats I could find), when U.S. divorce rates were at a high of near 50%, only 3.5% of active Mennonites had ever divorced or even separated.

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be agreeable to someone living it in for free, in exchange for them main-taining the lawn and deterring thieves and vandals. Sounds pretty good until you con-sider that the utility bills would probably be more than rent on a two-bedroom apartment, and maintaining the home and grounds of a McMansion is like a part-time job. And for what? So you can impress your friends with 4,000 square feet more space than any sin-gle person needs? And forget about watching any scary movies while liv-ing in that big house all alone!

The fact that Hammond would guide women into unnecessarily getting into a huge house just for the look and feel of it gets to the heart of a ba-sic assumption that we need to chal-lenge – and it’s the same assumption that led me to feel sorry for that ad-opted Mennonite child: Variety, lux-ury and brand names are hallmarks of a good life. Divanomics reflects the confusion in Christian thinking on the matter of prosperity and lux-ury. This is also a topic I am explor-ing in my blog Throw Away Your 401K: What the Bible Really Says About Money.

On the one hand, we have the Prov-erbs 31 woman, dressed in fine linen and purple, bringing her food from afar, with kids clothed in scarlet. On the other hand, we have Jesus tell-ing us that if we want to be perfect, we need to sell our possessions and give to the poor. These are seemingly contradictory, and since there are so many more scriptural references to prosperity (albeit, mostly in the Old Testament) than extreme generos-ity, a lot of Christians are claiming the prosperity promises with only the occasional nod to gospel generosity. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this: If both of these concepts are recurring in God’s one Word,

there must be a way to reconcile them.

Oh, what’s that? Look what Jesus said at the beginning of this article (and in Matt 6:28-33). Don’t worry about clothes, food and the wine list, in-stead occupy your mind and energies with seeking God’s will for your life and He will add all these things to your life. So He wants His chil-dren to dress in fine linen, but not to put the appetite or pursuit of it above Him. That was simple enough.

Does Divanomics pro-mote worrying about food, drink and clothes? Well, it is an entire book dedicated to seeking these things out. Be-yond that statement, I am ordering my jury to remain silent and leave the final judg-ment to the reader. The case is some-what complex, with Hammond mixing in personal testimony, instructions on tith-ing, and teaching some basic survive-on-the-cheap skills.

I did arrive at a verdict about the Chi-nese baby, however. I decided that my thinking has been distorted by materialism, and that child is, in fact, blessed.

*In 1982 (last reported stats I could find), when U.S. divorce rates were at a high of near 50%, only 3.5% of active Mennonites had ever divorced or even separated.

I did arrive at a verdict about the Chinese baby, however. I decided that my thinking has been distorted by materialism, and that child is, in fact, blessed.

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Reb

a R

ay

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Pop health quiz: How many fruits and veggies did ya eat yesterday? How about the day before? If you answered five or less for either day, yur undernourished in the eyes of the government officials who control how many fruits and vegetables we’re sup-posed to eat. I’m no fan of big government, but I have to admit, this is one intervention I probably needed. If somebody hadn’t set a standard for me, I’d be doin’ good to eat one a day, no joke. It’s not that I don’t like me some fruits and veggies, I’m just a little lazy when it comes to meal prep, and when I’m hungry, nuking a burrito is more appealin’ than nuking a sweet potato.

If you can relate, here’s a simple solution that I use (a lot) to comply with government standards on fruit and veggie con-sumption: get all five servings in one heapin’ hunk. Here are five of my favorite five-fruit or five-veggies blends that are quick to pull together and count as a meal. If yur worried about protein, you can make that up at one of those other meals (in which yur neglectin’ fruits and veggies!). Fruits and veggies are not de-void of protein, they just aren’t a good source of it. If you get the shakes when you don’t have protein thrice a day, up the yogurt in the smoothies and toss in some grilled chicken with the veggie dishes. If you opt for a five-fruit smoothie one day, be sure to go with a five-veggie blend the next. Getting’ a balance of the two is important, but it dudn’t need to be within any given 24-hour period – even if Big Brother says differently.

by Reba Ray5ways toget 5 a day

your

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Tropical SmoothieIn a blender dump:• 1 ripe banana• ¼ cup frozen orange juice concentrate• ½ large mango, or a whole small one, peeled and

in sliced• ½ cup pineapple chunks or tidbits• 1 peach or 2 apricots, fresh, or the equivalent

canned, without syrup• ½ c. frozen yogurt – for a healthier frozen yo-

gurt, buy your favorite flavor of regular yogurt and freeze it

• ½ c. milk

Pulse the blender a few times then crank it on a high setting until it sounds and looks smooth. Add a little umbrella and imagine yurself on the beach as you sip in five servings of fruit.

Berry Blend SmoothieIn a blender dump:• 3 cups frozen berry blend or…• 1 cup fresh strawberries• 1 cup fresh blackberries• ½ cup fresh blueberries• ½ cup fresh raspberries• 1 cup 100% apple juice

Unless it’s summer, you probably can’t afford all these fresh berries in one trip to the grocer. That’s one reason I recommend the frozen berry blend (look for it next to frozen pie crusts). The other is that frozen fruit makes a colder smoothie. Except seeds in this treat, which is more like a slushie than a smoothie. If you want more smoothie, add yur fa-vorite flavor frozen yogurt to this one too.

Greek Salad• 2 cups lettuce (anything but iceberg, please),

torn in smallish pieces• 1 Roma tomato, chopped• ½ cup cucumber slices• 1 carrot, grated or chopped• 2 tablespoons sliced banana peppers or pepper-

oncinis• 10 black or kalmata olives, halved• 1 ounce crumbed feta cheese (buy in a block and

crumble yur dang self)

• Paper-thin sliced red onion to taste• Croutons• Reduced Calorie Greek, Caesar or even Ranch

Dressing (I like me some Ken’s!)

Nothin’ to this, just toss all the veggies in a bowl, top with croutons and dressing and eat. Umpa loompa! (Or whatever it is those Greeks say when they eat.)

Roasted Veggies• 4 baby bella mushrooms, or a half-dozen regular

button mushrooms, cut in half• 1 small sweet potato, peeled and sliced in

¼”-thick rounds • ½ green (red, yellow or orange) bell pepper,

sliced in one-inch chunks• 1 cup broccoli flowettes• 1 cup cauliflowerettes (why not?)• 2 cloves garlic, pressed or finely chopped• 1 ½ tbsp olive oil• Salt and pepper to taste, ½ tsp. crumbed rose-

mary if ya got it

Preheat the oven to 425˚F. Toss the veggies in a bowl and drizzle them with oil, stirring ‘em gently so they all get coated with oil and the garlic gets friendly with all the veggies. Salt and pepper, then spread the veggies evenly on a cookie sheet. Bake 12 minutes, remove, turn or at least stir them veggies up, even ‘em back out, then roast ‘em another 12 minutes, un-til they’re tender and startin’ to brown.

Black Bean Confetti• 1 cup black beans, drained • 1 Roma tomato, diced• ½ cup canned or frozen (thawed) corn• ½ avocado, scooped out of its skin and diced• 1 tablespoon jalapeño• 2 tablespoons cilantro • 1 ounce crumbed feta cheese• Salt, pepper and cumin to taste

This is a room-temperature dish, but if that freaks ya out, then heat up the beans and corn. Add all the ingredients, stir and ay caramba! Since ya been so disciplined as to fill yur recommended veggie quota, treat yurself to some tortilla chips to give this dish a crunchy side kick.

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Dear Gabby

I've worked hard t

his year and saved s

ome serious money.

It's not a fortune or a

nything, but for me, it's a lot!

When I

told my parents how much I saved th

is year they were thr

illed

- because they

think I'm saving to make a n

est egg. But really

I'm saving to buy a new Mini Cooper.

I still live at hom

e and

can use the family cars when they're ava

ilable, but sometimes

they're not. I have my heart

set on this new car, but the c

atch

is I need my paren

ts to co-sign for th

e car loan, then I could

easily afford the ca

r with my wages. I'm totally afraid

to ask.

Should I?

Parked in Portland

dear gabby:

Living a conundrum? Trying to make

two wrongs a right? Threw the baby

out with the bath water?

Dear Gabby can help! Send your

questions now to

thegabster@onmyownnow.com

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“ Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.”

Proverbs 4:26

Sounds like you’ve gone and got yourself what is known in grownup circles as a life goal. Life goals do not fall into the same category as buy-ing a pet rock or an iPhone. Life goals are some big, needy, living, breathing babies that require lots of TLC, commitment and attention. They are very fragile and can’t be turned off when you become bored with them. Ultimately, they make us better people in the long run because they require hard work to achieve and main-tain.

You think you got it in you to care for this goal long after you’ve driven your baby off of the car lot? Yes, you say? If you’re responsible enough to hold down a full-time job and save money, Gabby thinks you might actually have the stuff to do this. But what about the road block – the little thing called a “co-signer.”

OK, so you’re set on a Mini Cooper. But wait! What if you discover the dealer has some really nice used Mini Coopers on the lot that they’d be very willing to bargain on? Just about the only thing you’re missing out on in a used car is the new car smell. And many used cars come with luxury features that you’d normally never be able to afford. But if you don’t have enough to pay for that pre-owned buggy in full, you’ll still need to finance. And often, terms for financing used cars are less attractive than for financing new cars. Surprisingly, it is sometimes the bet-ter deal to buy new. But if not, do you think, if your parents could afford it, that they would consider playing banker and loaning you the difference at a competitive interest rate? If not, what makes you think they would they be will-ing to co-sign on a loan for a new car? Is your relationship even up to these options? Could it withstand the stress of these new dynamics?

These are all things to consider before moving ahead with this tender goal.

As Proverbs reminds us, “Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.” That means look before you leap. Think before you speak. So, sit down with your parents. Tell them exactly what your goal is and how you hope to achieve it. Show them how much you make each week and how much of that you’re saving. Of the amount you’ve saved, make sure to reserve some for that nest egg they think you have been working on. Show them how a car payment and the upkeep (gas, parking, tolls, insurance, property taxes, oil changes, new tires and unexpected repairs) will impact your budget. Keep yourself open to their thoughts and feelings. Stay open and honest. If they decide not to join you on this adventure, then you will have to reset the deadline on this life goal. Maybe you can’t get there this year, but rather next year. Maybe next year you won’t need a co-signer. You should have a longer em-ployment history, better credit score and more money saved, making it easier to stand on your own feet financially.

Just in case, do the math and figure out how long it will take you to save to get to your goal entirely on your own. If you go into the con-versation with your parents already knowing and accepting the worst case scenario, you’ll be better prepared to handle their “no,” or fully appreciative of their “yes.” The point being, Parked, if you prepare yourself well, you will encounter fewer pot holes and a smoother ride overall.

Safe travels,

- The Gabster

Well, Parked,

Spa

re

Cha

ng

e

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by Julie Ann

It was made from dark blue butcher paper, orange tempera paint and buckets of gold glitter. It was

the Eiffel Tower. I was in the first grade and it was part of a class “field trip” that we took to Paris. I had the honor of constructing this Eiffel Tower with a classmate and then learning every fact a six year old mind could remember to share with my class-mates as part of the tour. We took a fake plane ride, had our faux passports stamped, ate éclairs and toured all the famous sites. You could say that it was my first “staycation.”

Staycations – or stay at home vacations – became all the rage when the economy started to wane a few years ago. An alternative to skyrocketing gas prices, increasing airlines fees and the all-around stress of travel, staycations are cheap, convenient and currently chic. Most staycations tend to include visiting local attractions or lounging in the backyard or at a local pool. But what if you want a stayca-tion with more? What if you really want to feel as if you are heading out on an international escapade? Drawing from my experience as a jet-setting first grader, I’ve put together an itinerary of ten staycation tour stops that will hopefully leave you feeling as if you have been around the world.

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1. Read Up On Your Country. Your local library probably has stacks of travel books on everywhere from Florida to Florence, Italy, but look beyond the books of facts and figures and check out fiction works instead. A good resource for finding books – from the classics to modern novels – that are set in your staycation desti-nation is www.bookssetin.com. Type a location in the search box and then browse to find a genre and title of interest to you.

2. Travel through the Cinema. If you aren’t much of a reader, you could instead watch movies set in your staycation destination – anything from documen-taries (“ROME: Engineering an Empire” from the His-tory Channel) to classics (“Roman Holiday” with Au-drey Hepburn and Gregory Peck) to recent releases (“When in Rome” with Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel).

3. Cook up Local Flavor. If you’re an ambitious chef then you can scour the Internet for international reci-pes and recruit some brave friends to try them on (five spice squid stir-fry, anyone?) If cooking isn’t your thing, then go to a local restaurant you’ve been re-luctant to try. Who knows, maybe the Brazilian grill down the street will become your new fave.

4. When in Rome… Research Culture, Customs and Traditions. One thing with which you’ll always want to be familiar when traveling to another country is the culture, customs and traditions. Check out books or search the Internet. Or better yet, find a person from that country and learn them in person. Too shy? How about chatting on a travel forum about your destina-tion?

5. Let the Travel Channel Be Your Guide. One of my favorite channels to surf is the Travel Channel. Whether it’s exploring the mountains of British Co-lumbia or castles of Ireland, they are always providing insider information on places I want to visit. You can also check out their Web site (www.travelchannel.com) for video clips from their shows, “top spot” lists, city guides and more.

6. Hola! Bonjour! Hallo! Ni Hao! When traveling to an-other country it is always helpful to learn basic words and essential sentences from that language. There are plenty of free podcasts online that will teach you the basics of almost any language. Once you get

a few w o r d s

d o w n , you can

m a y b e even branch

out and be-gin working to

become con-versant in your chosen language.

7. Walk the Streets on Google. This is actually something that I do all the time just for fun. Visit www.google.com/maps and select a location on the world map. Zoom in until you have a street-level view. You’ll then be able to “walk” around the streets of Amsterdam, Brisbane or Calgary. If the location is not available to view, the little orange person on the zoom tool will be grayed.

8. Attend a Cultural Festival or Visit an Ethnic Neigh-borhood. If you are in or near a big city, this is an ex-cellent option. Many cities have a Greek festival one weekend, an Italian festival the next, then a Japanese festival and so on. Attending these festivals will give you an excellent idea of culture, food and traditions. Many big cities also have certain neighborhoods or regions where specific ethnic groups have gathered over time. You can visit these areas for shopping, res-taurants and cultural activities. (Where I live in Ro-swell, we have the UFO festival – which is truly out of this world!)

9. Throw an International Party. After you have thor-oughly explored a country or region, a good way to cap your staycation is to throw an international theme party. Serve up the ethnic food, ask your guests to come in traditional garb, use the foreign words you mastered and present the information you learned to your guests. You could also collect money and have a time of prayer for missionaries in this country.

10. Plan your Real Vacation. Now that you are prop-erly schooled, you should have a pretty good idea of whether you would like to actually visit that country. Armed with knowledge about language, geography, customs, traditions and cuisines, you can start saving money and making plans to take that international vacation for real.

fash

ion d

ivin

a

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I have a friend who has things in her closet that she has never worn, and has no plans of ever

wearing. I’ve always thought this was crazy and a waste of money. You know what... it is! Even if

she got these things at 75% off, wouldn’t she rather have the money back than for the clothes to be

taking up critical closet space?

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Even when we try a garment on in the store, there is still a chance that it will end up as closet clutter. Here are a few common reasons why clothes don’t make prime time: They shrink or tear after one wash-ing; they don’t actually match with anything we already own; a roommate or family mem-ber vetoes them before we make it out of the door; we thought we might shrink into it (you know, lose 10 pounds, but we never did.

Fortunately, none of these scenarios is incompatible with returning a bad buy and get-ting our money back. If you have ever found yourself with less than $10 in the bank be-fore your next paycheck, you cannot afford to harbor nev-er-worn clothes or shoes in your closet…unless perhaps, you bought them at a garage sale or thrift store.

So go on, get your money back…if you can. Oh, no re-ceipt? Depending on where you shopped, this might not be a problem. Some stores (the bigger the better in this regard) will take clothes and accessories back as long as they have the tags with them – not even on, just with them. WalMart is one. Other stores, like Macy’s, affix a customer return label to the tags, mak-ing a receipt obsolete. See more major retailer return policies at ConsumerWorld.org. Whatever the policy, here are some proactive measures

that will put money back in your pocket (or at least on a gift card) and keep your clos-et lean and mean.

1. Organize with the possibility of needing to return your pur-chase. Get a decorative hat box or some other easy-ac-cess container into which you can toss receipts as you’re re-moving things from the shop-ping bag. A desk drawer dedi-cated to this purpose also works.

2. Leave the tags on your purchases until you launder the item or wear it, which-ever comes first. The ultra-organized will paperclip the tags to the receipt. The rest of us can just toss the tags in the box or drawer with the receipts. Hold on to tags for at least two launderings. If the garment distorts or falls apart after proper laundering, you’re within your rights to take it back.

3. Every couple of months, go through the box and re-move receipts and tags for things you know you’re go-ing to keep. While you’re sorting through, if you spot a receipt for something that

you’ve owned for a couple of months and have never worn, it’s time to ask yourself the hard question: What do I need more, the security of this un-worn garment in my closet in the remote case that I might someday actually wear it, or the cash (or store credit). To get saner answers, try clean-ing out the receipt box when your bank account is at its monthly low.

4. Finally, get over your bad self if you have a hang-up with returning things. If you have ever worked retail, or know someone who has, you know that there’s no shame in it. Re-gardless of what you think the salesclerk might be thinking about you, you’re wrong! They are probably thinking to them-selves as they transact the re-turn, “My feet hurt,” or “I think I’ll have Subway for lunch.” They don’t know you have $10 left until pay day. Don’t be silly, go get your money back!

The best strategy is to pre-vent returns in the first place by only shopping when you have time to try things on, going with a friend who you know would tell you if some-thing makes you look frumpy, and knowing your closet. Fig-ure out what you need be-fore you leave the house and avoid impulse buys.

Smart shopping involves more than the purchase. A smart shopper will also be prepared for a possible return.

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SAVE THERECEIPT!by tamara jane and donna lee schillinger

Smart shopping involves more than

the purchase. A smart shopper will

also be prepared for a possible return.

17

When my little brother was 14, he got in a fight with the parents and ran away from home …in the fam-ily Ford Explorer …without a license …on the Interstate. In some way I cannot fathom, he fell asleep at the wheel while driving. The Explorer flipped and he ended up with a bro-ken collarbone, but otherwise un-scathed. There must be some truth to the adage about God protecting the young and foolish, but what amazes me most about that story is how my brother could fall asleep. If the adrenaline rush of stealing a car, running away from home, driv-ing – for the very first time – without a license, on the Interstate, no less, won’t keep you awake at the wheel, will anything?

It’s hard enough to stay awake during a long, boring drive dur-ing the day, but driving at night is exponentially more difficult. If they could only bottle that sensation and sell it to insomniacs! In a national poll conducted by Harvard Medical School in 2009, 54% of people ad-mitted to driving while drowsy and 28% said they have actually fallen asleep. Another study estimated that up to 60% of accidents could have a sleepy driver at fault. We don’t want to contribute to these stats, but short of not driving at night, what can we do?

Let’s just quickly review things that help, but do not work. You should not count on these to keep you awake during a long drive:

The radio – Even blasting your very least favorite kind of music.

Cold air – Even windows down in the dead of winter.

Caffeine – Yes, even Red Bull. Your body can build a tolerance to caffeine.

Chewing gum – Doesn’t work and you could wake up with it in your hair!

Bringing a pet – Seeing your animal sleeping will make you jealous!

Toothpicks – It is possible to fall to sleep even with your eyes open.

Now for what does work, that is, more often. Honestly, these next suggestions may not be foolproof either, but they are the most effec-tive advice I can offer as an experi-enced nodder:

Deep conversation – a trip never goes so quickly and ef-fortlessly as when you’re engaged in a meaningful conversation. Take a friend along who will commit to staying awake with you.

Eat and Drink – this obvi-ously has some drawbacks, namely necessitating pit stops and lengthen-ing the trip, and it cannot be done constantly on a long trip, but you can use it to spot jolt you back into alertness. Be sure not to oversugar yourself because that can cause drowsiness when the blood sugar drops again quickly about 20 min-utes after eating.

Listen to an audiobook – this strategy has never failed me. The story engages my mind and the time and miles speed by unnoticed. Be sure of your interest in the sub-ject though; a boring book could lull you to sleep.

Pull over and refresh – this strategy slows you down too, but better to lose some time and save your life than the other way around. Think it’s dangerous to pull over on the side of the road and try to nap for 15 or 20 minutes? Surely it is, but I doubt it can compete with 1,500 deaths and 40,000 injuries annually that driving while drowsy causes.

That’s it. It’s a short list and nothing very inventive, which is why your very best bet is proactive measures to avoid driving alone at night. Prov-erbs 3:21 says we should preserve sound judgment and discernment and they will be life for us. Plan your trips prudently: rest well before a trip, keep driving time in any one day to a reasonable amount, travel during daylight hours, and enlist a faithful friend to share the ride.

by Donna Lee Schillinger

betterTHAN AN ENERGY DRINK

J U S TWHATyou

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