Skin Deepa chainbooks publication

Chapter 1 written by Nile ChickChapter 2 written by Brooke WilliamsChapter 3 written by Rochelle Devoe

Chapter 1

! Jackie Reynolds watched the fire in the fireplace. She touched her scarred face. The skin was leathery and deformed. She canʼt remember much about the dreaded night her house was set on fire. All she remembers is screaming when someone broke her bedroom door open and a back draft caused her room to spontaneously combust. Before that she would have been safe. But a good Samaritansʼ attempt to save her from her burning house ended up in her being burned beyond recognition and the Samaritan loosing his life.

! She spent several months in the burn unit of Mercy hospital. Bandaged like a mummy so her flesh wouldnʼt sag. After finally being released from hospital she hid from everyone. She locked herself in the flat the insurance money bought for her. Jackie used to sit on her bed everyday looking at the pictures of her before the accident. Her beautiful raven black elbow length black hair but there was nothing left of it anymore. Only a patch on the side of her head was left where some of the hair follicles werenʼt completely destroyed. She looked at her beautiful flawless skin and almond shaped eyes; she used to be very photogenic. She had many agencies offering her modeling contracts, but she had her sights set on becoming an interior decorator. Now she looked like a monster. Her face looked like a reptile with all her features melted together. Who would love her again? When her fiancé, Luke, saw her for the first time after the bandages came off he vomited and ran out of the room. He couldnʼt stand looking at her it was too much for him. She never saw or heard from him again.

! She lost everything precious to her in the fire. All she was left with was money and lots of it from the insurance company. But what is the value of money when no one even wants to look at you? The only way she could keep contact with her past life was talking on the phone. Everyone seemed to have an excuse to visit her. They would be in a hurry to say, “Just call me if you need anything”. If that ʻanythingʼ included them having to see her face to face, they would suddenly have an excuse not to be available. She led a lonely life this was not part the plan. The CSI investigation concluded that it was arson, but no one knew who started it. They could not find any fingerprints besides Jackieʼs. So they assumed the arsonist mustʼve worn gloves. Jackie knew who it was but she didnʼt tell anyone. Tom said it would be very simple and easy, nothing could possibly go wrong. If only the man didnʼt try to save her.

! It had been 6 years since the accident happened and the doctors said that she could have reconstructive surgery. They showed her a computer animation of how she would look after the operation. It didnʼt look good at all. She was very disappointed. The doctors said that she shouldnʼt compare the reconstruction results to the way she looked before. She should look in the mirror then compare the results to what she looked like now. Only then would she be able to see the improvement. Jackie felt that having reconstructive surgery would be a waste of time. She wanted results. Real results. She didnʼt want to be a better looking monster. She wanted a face.

! One night she watched a program on TV about a woman who had a face transplant. The results were amazing compared to what she saw with her animated reconstruction. She thought about the idea of having a new face. Another face. Someone elseʼs face. So her obsession began to have a face transplant. Every day she surfed the net researching about the latest technology available regarding transplants. Over a couple of months she accumulated lots information to help her find the right doctor and facility. The only problem was that she had to find a donor. A donor is an almost dead person because they need to remove the face the same way they would remove any other organ. While the person is brain dead and the cells are still alive. The other problem was that most donors are accident victims. Death took them suddenly and scarred them. She needed a donor who was in one piece. Someone whoʼs face wasnʼt smashed or scarred. There was also the problem of compatibility and race.

! She was under the care of Dr. Shields he was a specialist in transplants and did the pioneering surgery with the first facial transplant. The months dragged on and no donor was found. Jackie became restless and felt she needed to speed things up but she didnʼt know where to start.

! One afternoon a cousin, Miranda, visited her unexpectedly. Jackie was shocked at her sudden visit, because she hasnʼt seen her in five years. Miranda tried not to make Jackie feel uncomfortable and said, “How are you doing? I havenʼt seen you in a long time and Iʼm not going to make excuses… I am so sorry for deserting you, but I am here now and will do my best to make it up to you.”

! Jackie replied, “Donʼt worry I donʼt blame you. Letʼs not dwell in the past… too much time was lost. Letʼs rather try to make up for lost times.” Jackie didnʼt want Miranda to feel awkward when looking at her face so she told her to wait a minute while she went to the bedroom. She put a balaclava like pressure bandage on her head. It covered all her scares and it was skin colored. She put a colorful beanie on her head and when she looked in the mirror she said, “Maybe Miranda will have lunch with me now… at least I wont ruin her appetite. Who would want to look at a face like this while eating?”.

! When she came out of the room Miranda looked at her and said, “Oh no…why did you put the bandage on? Arenʼt you supposed to only sleep with it?”

! She replied, “I thought if I put it on we could at least have a decent conversation without staring at my scars. I havenʼt had company in years and would like you to stay for lunch.” Miranda looked at Jackie and her heart filled with compassion and sympathy. It overwhelmed her and she burst out crying.

! Jackie said, “Iʼm so sorry I didnʼt mean to make you cry… Iʼm just so happy to have company I wanted to make sure you stay a bit with me.”

! Miranda replied, “Itʼs not you …itʼs me… I should have made effort. You were the one who got hurt and now you covering up your scars so you donʼt make me uncomfortable. But I am the one who deserted you when you needed support the most.”

! Jackie replied, “Itʼs okay, Miranda…itʼs ok. I learned to cope with what happened to me. Letʼs forget all this crying and move on. Weʼve already lost a lot of time”.

! Jackie and Miranda spend the whole day together. It was the best day of her life since the accident. She laughed for the first time. They caught up with the latest family news. Who married, who divorced, who died, who gave birth and who was having affairs. When they spoke about one of their cousinʼs who had a baby Jackie felt sad because she knew that was one thing she would never have. Not the conventional way that is. Besides she couldnʼt imagine herself raising a baby the way she looked. Miranda noticed Jackie was a bit quiet and said, “Donʼt worry about a baby. These days anything is possible. You do not need a man for it; besides you can go to a sperm bank and choose what type of man you want as a father. Itʼs easy.” Jackie laughed because everything in her future involved science. Nothing could be left to Mother Nature.

! Miranda left later in the evening. Her visit really cheered Jackie up. She hasnʼt felt so happy in a long time. She hasnʼt felt anything in a long time. It was a strange euphoria that she wanted to last. She went to her bedroom and sat in front of the mirror. She took the balaclava off and looked in the mirror. She was still happy inside but the longer she saw her scarred face in the mirror all the happiness she felt that day disappeared. She held her face in her hands and started to cry. First it was a sad heart wrenching cry. Then she broke out in an uncontrollable scream cry. It was as if she wanted to scream all the pain and sadness away. It came from deep down. She fell on the floor and screamed so hard that her voice disappeared and nothing but a whimper could be heard. Suddenly she stopped crying. She took a deep breath while lying on the floor. She put her hands between her legs while in a fetal position. She stared in front of her and that is how she fell asleep on the ground.

! When she woke up the next morning she was still on the floor. She sat up straight with her back against her bed cradling her knees. Jackie looked outside the balcony sliding door. She saw birds flying outside and heard the hustle and bustle of life outside. Since the accident she never went outside for recreation or shopping. Only for doctors appointments. She wanted to smell the fresh air and take a walk in the park without anyone staring at her. It was autumn and the air was a bit crisp. It would give her a perfect opportunity to cover her face and wear dark glasses. She still had the wig that looked similar to her own hair when she had hair. If she wore a beanie no one would notice anything. She decided that she would go outside even if it was only for an hour.

! She dressed in jeans, a parka jacket and sneakers. Before she put the beanie on her head she put the wig on making sure the hair covered the sides of her head. After she put on the dark glasses one could almost not notice anything unless looking up

close. She put her wallet in her pocket and grabbed her umbrella just in case it drizzled a bit. Jackie left her house for the first time in several years to go for a walk. As she walked down the street she made an asserted effort not to be noticed. The majority of the people didnʼt even notice her because everyone was occupied with their own thoughts. After walking briskly for 10 minutes she started to feel more at ease with the outside world. When she finally reached the park she started to stroll. Looking at everything as if she never saw it before. She felt strangely new.

! The smell of the freshly cut grass and the popcorn stand made her reminisce about her past life. The life she had with Luke. She went to sit on the nearest bench. Jackie watched some people doing tai chi on the grass not far in front of her. She remembered how she and Luke used to picnic on the very same spot. Jackie remembered how he proposed to her while they were picnicking. He bought her favorite chocolate cupcakes and had her engagement ring baked in one of the cupcakes. When she ate it she bit on the ring. It was the most romantic proposal. She cried when he asked her to marry him. They were together 6 years before he proposed. She loved him with all her heart but unfortunately love was not enough to keep them together.

! A few minutes went by when a woman with a baby stroller came to sit next to her. The baby was asleep in the stroller. The woman took out a book and started to read. Jackie and the woman hardly noticed each other. This was good for Jackie because she could relax unnoticed. After a while the baby woke up but the woman continued reading because the child didnʼt cry. Jackie noticed from her side view that the baby was watching her. It smiled and kicked its feet. Jackie wanted to turn her head but was too afraid that the child might get a fright. The baby began to giggle louder and kicked its feet. The woman looked at the baby and said, “Wow, arenʼt we happy to be awake… not little miss grumpy today, hey, Chloe?” The woman picked the baby up and held her on her lap. She bounced the baby up and down.

! Chloe kept looking at Jackie and started to reach for her. Jackie noticed but was so afraid of being rejected that she pretended not to see her. After a while the woman said, “It seems like Chloe is taking a liking to you. It is something strange because she usually doesnʼt like strangers. Would you like to hold her?” Jackie wanted to hold the baby so much but she could not bring herself to take Chloe. She shrugged and turned her head to the side so the women donʼt look straight in her face. The woman became silent and after a few seconds she said, “My name is Audrey. Whatʼs yours?”

! She replied in a soft voice, “Iʼm Jackie…nice to meet you”

! Audrey said, “Come on… Chloe likes you. You could hold her for a second and see what she does.” Jackie went completely quiet and wanted to run. Audrey said, “Itʼs ok… donʼt be frightened. I can see what is bothering you. Donʼt be shy. Babies donʼt care what we look like; they can feel when someone is good.” She nudged Jackie in the side to take Chloe. Jackie couldnʼt resist holding the baby, so she took Chloe and held her on her lap.

! Audrey looked at her and said, “Now look at that! Itʼs a first! Grumpy Chloe actually likes someone else beside me. I should make use of this opportunity! I tell you what, why donʼt you hold Chloe for a few minutes and I will buy us popcorn from the stand over there, okay?” Jackie shook her head in the affirmative.

! While Audrey was buying the popcorn Jackie looked at Chloe. She was looking Jackie straight in the face and giggling while bouncing on her lap. Jackie felt warm and tingly all over. She smiled at Chloe thinking about how it would feel to have her own child all the time; the unconditional love she would receive.

! Audrey returned with the popcorn. She put a packet next to Jackie and noticed how into each other they were and said, “That is for you, nice freshly popped popcorn. I didnʼt know if you liked butter or salt or no salt so I had them put on everything.” They both laughed. While Audrey ate her popcorn her alarm went off and she said, “Oooooh our time is up! We have to go. Daddy would be home soon!” She looked at Jackie and said, “Give me your phone number…maybe we can have lunch some time or another?”

! She replied, “I donʼt think youʼd want to have lunch with me.”

! Audrey replied, “Jackie I can see you had an accident, but life goes on. Hereʼs my card. Please call me. Iʼm in the park everyday at the same time; maybe we can meet up same time tomorrow or the day after tomorrow?”

! “Iʼd like that… Iʼm glad I met you.”

! “Great! Well I have to run… dinner is not going to cook itself. See you tomorrow, ciao.”

! She left and walked briskly while pushing the stroller. Jackie looked on as they moved further away from her. A tear ran down her face because for the first time she felt human again.

! When she returned home she felt encouraged and optimistic. So she had one good encounter, which was fantastic, but the majority of the people would still stare. She fetched the documents of the research she had done regarding face transplants. She read through it all again. She remembered Mirandaʼs visit, the time they spend together. She remembered how similar she and Miranda looked before the accident. Miranda was family and she would be a possible compatible donor. All she needed was to get some of Mirandaʼs DNA to check. After thinking for a while she suddenly said, “Snap out of it! What are you thinking? Would you really go to that extent? After all beauty is only skin deep.”

Chapter 2

! Audrey quickened her pace. The wind was starting to pick up and a slight drizzle was coming down from the puffy gray clouds above. She wanted to get Chloe home and out of these conditions before she caught cold. As she looked down at her little girl in the stroller in front of her, her heart skipped a few beats. Chloe was her life. She didnʼt know what she would do if anything ever happened to her little girl. ! She pushed the stroller a little faster and diverted her mind to the woman she had met in the park. Jackie. Audrey couldnʼt imagine having to live her life with a burn that bad. She didnʼt even really know how extensive the burn was. Jackie had done a pretty good job of disguising her wounds, but Audrey could still see that she had a very bad injury. Audreyʼs mind ran over the various possibilities of what could have harmed Jackie and felt her sympathies rise even farther. The two of them were going to be good friends. She was going to show Jackie that not everyone in the world was cruel.

! Audrey arrived home and stored the stroller in the garage, picking dear little Chloe up from its interior and placing her cheek against the babyʼs forehead. “My dear little girl,” she whispered. “Iʼm never going to let anything like that happen to you.” Audrey cleared her head and went inside. She had just set Chloe in her swing when her husband arrived home.

! “Honey, Iʼm home!” he called. They had talked about how cheesy his nightly greeting was. But because it made them laugh, it became a habit and their custom whenever they arrived home. Audrey was glad to see him tonight, even more so than other nights. She hated leaving Chloe, but she had joined a group of women who were starting a baby pantry in town and tonight was the first meeting.

! “Iʼve got leftovers in the fridge, want me to warm something up?” she asked, as she kissed him on the cheek on his way into the room to bend over Chloe for a chat.

! “Nah, thatʼs okay,” he replied, his eyes resting briefly on hers before he turned to their daughter. “I can take care of myself tonight. You just go to your meeting.”

! Audrey followed him into the family room where the stood over their daughter. She had fallen asleep in the short time she had been in the swing, the back and forth motion lulling her.

! “What a little angel,” he said, gazing down at Chloe with a smile.

! “I guess the park wore her out,” Audrey replied. She sat on the footstool near the baby swing and told her husband about the woman they had met. “Her name is Jackie and Iʼm really hoping she and I can get to know one another and be good friends. It would even be good for Chloe…to grow up with someone in her life that isnʼt quite like everyone else. Maybe she could even help us with the baby pantry someday,”

Audrey went on, pausing to look at her watch. “Oh, Iʼve got to run,” she said, standing and rushing to grab her coat on the chair.

! “Donʼt worry, everything will be fine here,” her husband reassured. Audrey knew he was right. She was glad he said it anyway, though. It wasnʼt the first time she had left Chloe, but it would be the longest. And it never got easier. Some days, all she wanted was a break from being a mom. A little time to get away and be on her own for a while. But every time she got that chance, as soon as she got away, all she wanted was to be back by her daughterʼs side. It was an odd Catch-22 type of feeling. One Audrey was sure she would never get used to having. She threw her coat over her shoulders, kissed her husband, and stroked Chloeʼs hair before rushing out the door.

! She backed the car out of the garage and realized the rain had picked up. The streets had a fine sheen of liquid running over their surface. She would have to be careful not to hurry in these conditions. Resolving herself to be a little late to the meeting, if necessary, she steered the car down the street and out of the neighborhood. Audreyʼs mind moved back over her day. Chloe had woken up early and sheʼd had a little cough. Audrey the humidifier she placed in her room that afternoon would help. She hoped she wasnʼt coming down with something. The afternoon in the park had seemed to help the babyʼs spirits. And she couldnʼt believe how she had taken to Jackie. Since Audrey was a stay at home mom and since she never had any babysitters, other than her husband, Chloe was quite attached to her. At times, Audrey enjoyed that attachment. It was sweet that Chloe wanted her and only her. But at the same time, it could be harrowing. There were days when all Audrey wanted to do was hand the baby over and enjoy an hour in the gym working out, but the minute Chloe cried any time she tried to put her in someone elseʼs arms, her resolve quickly dissolved.

! But it had been different with Jackie. Audrey wondered what was different about the woman that made Chloe so instantly comfortable. She vowed to find out by getting to know the woman better. It would be nice to have a friend that she could meet in the park. Someone who could hold Chloe while she cleaned out her purse or while the two of them chatted. It would be a nice break. And Jackie could certainly use a friend. That much was obvious. Her stilted speech told Audrey that she didnʼt get out much. And when she did, she didnʼt interact with others often. The poor woman, Audrey thought. The buzzing of her phone interrupted her thoughts. She had a habit of keeping the phone on vibrate because she didnʼt often remember to switch it back and forth from silent to ring. It was better to keep it on vibrate so it would never wake Chloe. If there was one thing Audrey never wanted to do, it was wake a sleeping baby. Audrey kept one eye on the road while she dug through her purse with her right hand. She felt a pacifier, a burp cloth, and a few cheerios float by her fingers as she finally placed her palm around the vibrating phone. It was a good thing the radio hadnʼt been on or she wouldnʼt have heard it at all. She glanced at the screen, seeing her own home number flash before her eyes. Audrey didnʼt make it a habit of doing anything with her phone in the car. She had heard about news stories about talking on phones or texting to avoid any such activities. She had long since declared her car a “No Phone Zone.” But when

she was away from Chloe, it was a different story. Any time her phone rang, her first thought was of her little girl and her husband who was watching her. Since she had just let home minutes ago and her husband was already calling, Audrey assumed the worst. Something was wrong.

! She flipped open the phone and placed it to her ear, hearing the crying baby before it got fully up to her face. “Honey?” she shouted into the phone, hoping her husband could hear her. “Whatʼs wrong? Whatʼs going on?” Audrey could hear her husbandʼs calm voice, gently talking to Chloe, trying to calm her. She heard a slight rustle as he adjusted the phone. He had not yet answered Audreyʼs voice, but she could tell things were right at home. “Iʼll be right there,” snapping the phone shut. She was only a few miles from home. She would be late to the meeting for sure, if she made it at all. But nothing was more important than her own baby. And she didnʼt like the way her cries sounded. She sounded like she was in pain. Maybe she was coming down with something after all. Audrey threw the phone in the seat beside her and whipped the car around without paying any further attention to the road. It was indeed slippery.

! If Audrey had taken a little more time in her turn…if she had used a little more care, she probably would have been fine. But in her hurry to get back home to her baby, she swung the car around too quickly. The tires were no longer on the concrete. They were hydroplaning on top of the sheet of water. And Audrey had no control. Her eyes widened in panic as she saw the side of the small bridge get closer and closer to the front of her car. And she began to scream when the front of the vehicle hit the side rail. After the impact, there was only silence. The jolt had slammed Audreyʼs forehead against the steering wheel. As the car continued through the side rail, over the bridge, and into the water below, everything was blissfully black for Audrey.

! Three hours later, Jackie was jolted awake in her bed by the shrill ring of the phone. She had been getting the best nightʼs sleep. She hadnʼt slept well since the fire. Partly due to her injuries and partly because she could never shut her mind off. She was always thinking about her appearance and how other people looked at her. She kept wondering how she could carry on the way she was and what she could do to hide what others saw. It didnʼt much matter. She hardly ever left the house. Other than today. And today had been a huge success. She had met Audrey and she felt as if the two were actually going to be real friends. Not just acquaintances. But friends that could share their thoughts and feelings without hesitation. It was likely the reason she had been sleeping so well. First, the visit from her cousin, then, a new friend. Jackie was surprised, not only from being awakened by the phone, but by the fact that the phone was ringing at all. Hardly anyone ever called her. Especially not at this hour. Normally, her heart would have sped up and she would have suspected that something was wrong. But now, nothing could ever be as bad as her own accident. And she didnʼt have anyone close enough to her to worry. It was likely just a wrong number. Maybe some teenagers playing a prank or maybe someone having just misdialed. She used to get calls for Anton when she first moved in. Whoever he was. Once they realized he

didnʼt live there any longer, they eventually stopped. Maybe this was someone who had not yet gotten Atonʼs new number.

! Jackie picked up the phone on the fourth ring, just before it clicked over to voice mail.

! “Hello?” she mumbled in a sleepy voice.

! “Jackie, hi, itʼs Dr. Shields, sorry to bother you at this hour.”

! Jackie sat up in her bed. “No problem at all, Dr. Shields, whatʼs going on?” This time, her heart really did quicken. She had never gotten a call from the doctor herself before. The nurses called, the front desk called, and appointment clerk called, but never the actual doctor.

! “Good news and bad,” she said, in her straightforward get to the point voice. “The good news is that I think I have a face for you.” Jackie wondered what the bad news was, but as her mind processed the first piece of news, she didnʼt even really care. Her rational side told her that the bad news was that someone had been in a horrible accident. A type of accident that was so bad that their brain was no longer working. Their organs, however, were still surviving. At least some of them. Jackie tried to picture what the womanʼs face would look like. And then she put her hand up to her own mottled skin. !

! “Doctor?” she said in an uncertain voice.

! “Yes, Jackie,” she affirmed. “Youʼre getting a new face. But you need to come in right away to start the procedures.”

! Jackie knew how it worked. Organs were best if they were fresh. As morbid as the thought could be…taking an organ, or worse, a face, from someone who was about to die. But Jackie didnʼt dwell on that face. She moved with the cordless phone around the bed and over to the mirror that used to be on the other side of the room. She pulled the sheet she had placed over it off and inspected herself. It may very well be the last time she would see herself this way. And she couldnʼt be happier about that fact.

! “Do you have someone that can drive you?”

! “No…” Jackie paused, “I mean yes…I mean, Iʼll be there doctor. Give me 20 minutes.”

! “Weʼll see you soon,” Dr. Shields said, hanging up the phone before Jackie could say anymore. Jackie gazed at herself in the mirror for a few more seconds. She was so excited. She would no longer have to hide behind the hats and the wigs and the other devices she used. She could go out into the world with a new face, literally. Her life would be completely different from the way it was now. She knew that a new face

would make her feel like a completely new person, in more ways than one. As she packed an overnight bag with a few items she thought she might need, Jackie even thought about Audrey. It would be awhile before she saw the young mom again, but next time, when they met in the park and as they started their new friendship, Jackie wouldnʼt have to hide. They could be the kind of friends that shared everything and told one another everything. Jackie would tell her about the fire. She might even tell her who was behind it and why she never came forward with that information before. She would tell her about the face transplant and all of the pain she endured before the big event. Jackie was definitely looking forward to having a face. But even more than that, she was looking forward to having a friend.

Chapter 3

! When Jackie walked into the lobby of the hospital a mixture of elation, guilt and anxiety twisted her into a big knot of expectation. She waited for this moment but now that her new destiny was here she was having second thoughts. How could she possibly claim a face? How could she look in the mirror and see another person's daughter, wife, or mother? Yet, the answer echoed inside of her and she knew despite her misgivings she wouldnʼt be able to walk away from a chance at a normal life. She would leave and go somewhere completely different. Somewhere she wouldnʼt run into the family or friends of this stranger. But where would she go, she wondered. She certainly had the money to go wherever she wanted. She figured she would head to Europe for a bit and travel around. She always wanted to see the sights and had a whole list of cities she wanted to see. Munich, Barcelona, Rome, Paris and London all sounded exciting to her. In all the time she spent by herself she worked on learning other languages. This would give her a chance to practice. !! She called Miranda. “Hey Miranda. Itʼs finally happening. They have a face for me.”

! “Thatʼs great Jackie…..should I come down to the hospital? I hate the idea of you going through such a major thing without anyone there.”

! “I wouldnʼt tonight. The surgery I going to take quite awhile. Just make sure you come visit me in a few days.”

! “Of course. Stop being silly.” Miranda paused for a moment before asking a question. “Have you seen the face your getting?”

! “Not yet…..I may not get to.”

! “What if you donʼt like it?”

! “Considering how I look now its bound to be an improvement.” She heard hesitation in Mirandaʼs voice.

! “I guess…I just would be worried Iʼd never adjust to having a new face.”

! This hesitation annoyed Jackie and her response came out clipped and dismissive. “It beats getting used to a burned one.”

! Awkward silence stretched between them. Miranda broke the silence first. “Well, I will be thinking about you sweetie.”

! “Thanks.”

! Miranda just didnʼt get it. If she lived with scarred features day after day she would though. She would understand why someone would take such a massive risk to be able to have a normal life.

! She waited for the doors of the elevator to open as her mind traveled back to the days before the fire. Lukeʼs handsome face staring at her lovingly while they picnicked in the park and their discussion about the future. She thought with a stabbing pain of regret about how they planned to honeymoon in Thailand. Now everything was uncertain. Even with a new face she could never get back her old life. The life she had before the fire consumed her. She would never forget the moment when the man burst through the door. Only he wasnʼt just a good Samaritan. He was one of Tomʼs employees and he had no idea that by doing his employerʼs bidding he would be signing his own death certificate. He only thought he was signing hers. The betrayal sickened her even now knowing Tom was living somewhere with his wife happy and content. Jackie knew she deserved her fate for being so greedy but she wasnʼt the only one who deserved to see their life go up in flames. The elevators opened up and Jackie made a concerted effort to chase away her vengeful feelings and fantasies of retribution.

! Then she saw him for the first time since her accident. Tom was collapsed in one of the chairs in the hospital waiting room distraught. His brown hair still wavy with only a few hints of grey at the temples. His attractive face was riddled with sorrow. She watched him with an odd mixture of compassion and contempt. The contempt was tipping the scales quickly though. Then a thought crossed her mind. A thought so terrible she couldnʼt shake it. What if the face waiting for her belonged to someone he loved? She figured such a turn in events would be true poetic justice.

! Then she heard someone calling her name. “Jackie, over here.”

! Tomʼs head turned, their eyes met but he did not recognize her. Would he recognize her later?

! Dr. Shield was waiting for her and whisked her into his office immediately. His voice was brisk and tense as he communicated urgency with both his words and his body language. “Jackie, we donʼt have much time. We have to get going while the donation is still viable. Sheʼs an organ donor although her family is not aware her face is up for grabs. Sheʼs in a coma and there is no brain activity. Her face was in a peaceful state, more than likely able to relax due to the traumatic brain injury she received.”

! “Can I see the face?” Even as she asked the question sounded absurd.

! “We donʼt have time… We have to get you prepped for surgery. The chances of getting a face in such good shape and matching you so well again is one in a million. You have to trust me.”

! “Alright.” Jackie didnʼt really like the idea of getting a face she never saw before but knew this was a miracle. Smart people take advantages of miracles.

! More and more doctors crowded into the room and she knew that while Dr. Shields was heading up the surgery numerous specialists were needed to pull off such a feat. Muscles, nerves, blood vessels all had to be connected and the surgery was intricate. She also knew she would be under the knife for over eight hours. She didnʼt care. She knew every risk was worth it and she tried to relax as the medical specialists filed into the operating room. She knew the history of the procedure in and out. In the last few years the medicine and technology behind the procedure had improved to the point where it was fairly seamless.

! A nurse came in and busied herself with the work of getting an IV in place. Jackie could feel a tight band around her upper arm as the nurse searched for a vein. The nurse was good because she got it on the first try. Then she could feel cool fluids traveling into her veins. Slowly the world became a little distant. She was traveling in the clouds and somehow ended up on a beach in Thailand.

! When Jackie woke up she was temporarily confused by her surroundings. The air was frigid and she felt herself shivering uncontrollably. Her eyes felt heavy and sticky as if her lids were super-glued shut. She tried to open them but found the act impossible. She could hear the steady beeping of monitors, the soft bustle of activity in and out of her room and she struggled to remember why she was in the hospital. Her hands traveled instinctively to her face and she could only feel gauze covering her features.

! Then she remembered. She had a new face.

! Now she would have a new life. She needed to get a new passport because she wanted to go far away. Maybe sheʼd settle in Tuscany and find some hot Italian. Good sex, a bottle of wine and pasta sounded damn good right now. She focused on this fantasy in order to beat back the fear that crept upon her. She wasnʼt sure which sounded the best. Probably the sex. She hadnʼt had that kind of intimacy since Luke left the relationship. Of course, a glass of wine wouldnʼt be bad either. Her hips didnʼt need any pasta right now.

! “Ahh, sleeping beauty awakes.” She heard Dr. Shield joke as he walked into her room. He didnʼt waste anymore time and began filling her in. “The surgery was a success and in about six weeks the skin will merge with your own. Then you will be able to remove the bandages and see the new you.”

! “How long do I have to stay here? ”

! “Itʻs going to take some time. As you know this is a pretty complicated procedure. We have to make sure there is no infection, we have to monitor your immuneʻs system adjustment and make sure that the transplant took. As we discussed

youʻll be taking medicine the rest of your life to make sure the transplant doesnʻt get rejected.”

! “Yes, I remember. Thank you so much.”

! “Any questions?” Dr. Shields asked.

! “Will I be able to move my face….you know smile?”

! “Not at first but slowly as your muscles get use to everything, you will be able to move your face.”

! She drifted to sleep again thankful for the opiates in her system keeping the pain at bay. Then she was yanked back from the drug induced haze by arguing coming from outside of the recovery room.

! “This canʼt be happening. How could you give my wifeʼs face to another woman! Her face! I can understand a heart, a kidney and eyeball for Godʼs sake. But her face…….to not even ask me if it was okay is fucking ridiculous.”

! “Iʼm sorry Mr. Wells but your wife signed up to be an organ donor. Skin is considered an organ and as long as the tissue is viable, we make every effort to use your wifeʼs generous donation to help others.”

! Tomʼs fury vibrated in his raspy voice. “But itʼs her face! Her face on another women. So what am I supposed to tell my daughter someday when she sees her momʼs face at a mall or in a grocery store. Sorry honey, thatʼs not really your mom. Some Frankenstein doctor stole your momʼs face and plastered it on some other woman.”

! Then she heard a hard thud coming from her right and Dr. Shields yelling. “Get security up here now.” There we scuffling sounds and she heard the door beginning to open. Her heart was crashing against her chest the beat pounding out a rhythm of distress. What if he made it in here?

! Jackie heard the man dissolve into gut-wrenching sobs. She knew his agony was real. The satisfaction bubbled inside of her but Jackieʻs conscious forced it down. She knew it was monstrous to feel a sense of justice in the death of someone. She didnʼt know Tomʼs wife. She might have been a wonderful person oblivious to her husbandʼs cutthroat ways. She didnʼt know he had a daughter. She couldnʼt help but feel empathy for the little girl who would grow up without a mother.

! “I want to talk to this woman.”

! “Iʼm sorry but recipients of organ donations have the right to confidentiality.”

! Jackie heard security arrive and Tomʼs wails, rants and threats fading as he is ushered away from her room. Jackie sighed with relief. The last thing she wanted to do was confront Tom. If he found out who she was he might finish the job he started witnesses be damned. Of course, it wouldnʼt be hard for him to wait outside until she was discharged. Follow her around. The bandages werenʼt exactly designed for being incognito.

! She pushed those fears from her mind and found sleep once again.

Six weeks later

! “Okay, Jackie…itʼs the big day. Just so you know there will still be some swelling and discoloring but overall things will look pretty good.”

! Jackie smiled underneath the dressing. Miranda was holding her hand and she squeezed it expressing her excitement. She was happy and amazed to feel the muscles working lifting the corners of her mouth. She was starting to smell again as well. She smelled apple pie the other day when she was over at Mirandaʼs for dinner.

! “I know. You told me about that. Letʼs do it.”

! “A little impatient I see.” Dr. Shields smiled.

! Miranda chimed in. "She's been driving me crazy. It's all she's been talking about since the last appointment. I'll be glad the bandages come off just so I can get some peace." Jackie felt Miranda's hand giving her a reassuring squeeze.

! “You would be too if you didnʼt know what you were going to look like. Letʼs get this damn dressing off. I want to feel the air on my skin.”

! The doctor slowly began unwrapping her face and Jackie experienced a rush of anticipation. Her stomach was flip flopping, her pulse was galloping and she knew it was literally moments before the big reveal. How would she look? She had no idea how her face would appear. She had been denied all media so she didnʼt see the articles about her donorʼs death. She didnʼt have access to the internet either. She could have pushed for either of those things due to patient rights but she decided to wait and see. She knew how the face connected to her bone structure wouldnʼt look exactly like the woman anyway.

! “Close your eyes for now. Iʼd rather you see everything at once.”

! The last bit of gauze fell away from her face and she squeezed her eyes shut terrified to open them. She felt Dr. Shields rubbing some lotion onto her face and felt the nurse trimming stitches with efficiency.

! “Ok. You can open your eyes now.”

! She saw her new face in the mirror and was absolutely thrilled. Slowly horror replaced elation. She knew the face. She recognized the delicate features and when she smiled, a familiar face smiled back. She thought of a day not so long ago in the park. Her stomach rolled and a mixture of panic and disgust made her queasy.

! Miranda voiced her concern around Jackie's reaction. "What is it Jackie?"

! Jackie was too stunned to answer.

! She knew who Tomʼs wife was.