1. Introductions Name What Small Group you lead Icebreaker Welcome to Small Group Leader Training!

2. What is the Purpose of Small Groups? To deepen relationships with Jesus and empower people

3. Gently, persuasively, caringly, sensitively, respectfully to listen and to love our members What is our job?

4. What is our vision? To make disciples of Jesus from all walks of life to transform society one life, one community at a

5. Small Groups Small groups are: a fundamental part of personal growth and discipleship a key reason people return to a church

6. Small Groups Friendships are developed. This is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)

7. Remember, it is not about us! When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirits power, so that your faith might not rest on mens wisdom, but on Gods power. 1 Corinthians 2:1-5

8. Expectations for SGL Continue to develop personal faith Focus on group Prayer

9. Be fully present for group Develop a community of trust and honest sharing Create an atmosphere of comfort and confidentially Expectations for SGL

10. Aims of Small Group Leaders Discussion You are the host. They are your guests. Treat them as such. Non-judgmental Respectful Honest Authentic Genuine

11. Practical details Common errors weak leadership too dominate leadership Ask simple questions What do you think? What do you feel? Aims of Small Group Leaders

12. Potential Small Group Scenarios The Dominant Member The Eager Christian who shares and uses the Bible too much The Quiet Group The Chaotic Group (off the topic or off the Wall!) The Group/ Person who wants to focus on Personal Issues One Person becomes a Group Project --Written by Sue Dennison, San Francisco

13. SGL is a referee and does not take sides in discussions. Aims of Small Group Leaders There to ensure fair play.

14. Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ Get to know each person well. Key 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships. Aims of Small Group Leaders

15. Maybe understanding the gospel in a new way. Seeing Jesus Christ in your lives and their own. May experience Jesus Christ in a deeper way. Experiencing Christian community. Be patient. There may be lots going on.

16. Important to set up group expectations 1.No question or subject is off-limits. 2. Respect everyone. 3. One person talks at a time. 4. Be honest. 5. Personal information said in group, stays in group.

17. Methods of Small Group Care Give members opportunities Encourage growth in: To study To pray Personal relationship with Christ Relationships within the Body of Christ

18. SGL General Attitudes Be an encourager 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. Understanding Affirmation Validation Appreciation Acceptance

19. Be a listener James 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Times with no religious conversation. Draw them out. SGL General Attitudes

20. Be a listener Listening empowers members. Opinions are valued. Gives dignity. SGL General Attitudes

21. Be a peacemaker Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. SGL General Attitudes

22. Dont argue. Diffuse arguments between members. Validate points made by each. No arguing allows people to change with greater SGL General Attitudes

23. SGL Commitment Our Responsibility: Prayer Overcoming tiredness Hard work Loving everyone Effort Overcoming disappointment Giving our time Concentrating on group

24. Gods Grace Allow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the group time and fill you during prayer time SGL Commitment

25. Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present. Be ready to serve. SGL Commitment

26. Some Listening Facts We can effectively hear 125-250 words per min. We can effectively think 1,000-3,000 words per min.

27. 85% of what we learn is by listening 45% of our day is spent listening 75% amount of time preoccupied, distra cted or forgetful Some Listening Facts

28. What does the Bible say about listening? Proverbs 18:13 He who answers before listening that is his folly and his shame.

29. James 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, What does the Bible say about listening?

30. Proverbs 18:2 A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. What does the Bible say about listening?

31. Small Group Member on First Night How do they feel?

32. What are they looking for? Small Group Member on First Night

33. Greatest Gift Listening ear, eye contact, and good body language. It gives them value. Allows for sharing Gives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them.

34. Communication Pie What you say 7% Tone of voice 38% Body Language 55%

35. 5 Keys to Communicating ervant attitude ye contact elaxed posture aluing differences mbodyJesuss love Love them thru me S E R V E

36. If We Listen Effectively Realize that the first thing out of our mouth isnt want they want to talk about. Must make them feel safe. Validate their feelings. Understand. Allow them to share at the deepest level.

37. Improve Listening Skills Thank you to Kent Garborg, Salvation Army and Steve Gartland, Hosanna! Lutheran Church plant in Minneapolis, Minnesota 1. Communication Roadblock 2. Non-Verbal Skills 3. Possible Responses to Facilitate Discussion 4. Skill Building Exercise 5. Suggested Responses to the Skill Building Question of Suffering

38. Sharpening Your Listening Skills Listen First Then Respond 1. Clarification questions 2. Open-ended questions 3. Redirecting questions 4. Reflective/Feeling questions or statements

39. Basic Reflective Listening Formula Tentative Opening + Feeling + About/Because/When + Thought It sounds like you feel mad about I hear you saying that you feel sad because of If I hear you correctly you feel glad when You seem to be saying you feel afraid about I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of Im not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when

40. Basic Reflective Listening Careful not to give advice. Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying. Not being manipulative just trying to understand Hearing and understanding leads to compassion. Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them.

41. The better we listen the better we can serve.

42. Provoke Curiosity Encourage Questions Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels Answered only 3 Answered 307 questions with another question

43. Jesus didnt have Q & A sessions. He has Q & Q sessions!

44. Be a catalyst of curiosity

45. Teachers no longer sage on the stage. Better way Guide from the Side.

46. 7 Antidotes to Christian Clichs

47. 1. Pray Not just tell people you are praying for them. Be like Nike

48. 2. Listen more Talk less

49. 3. Dont try to fix everything! I love WD-40 and duct tape, too. But . . . Listen Just be present while they wrestle, grieve and reflect

50. 4. See yourself in the Other Remember the Greatest Commandment was to love them.

51. 5. Quality over quantity Invest time in people!

52. 6. Share generously of yourself Be willing to be vulnerable. Share your story when appropriate.

53. 7. Be open to the possibility that youre wrong Everyones faith is evolving The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed. Be open. Your members could teach you something!

54. Aim of Small Groups Love who God sends us Lifelong process to personal spiritual maturity Dont hurry the process. Small groups and relationships are KEY!!