smmvolume2#9

Copyright 2008 www.MySecretisMine.comAll Rights Reserved Volume 2, Number 9

Louis and Zelie Martin, Parents of St. Therese, the Little Flower May 2008

That Crazy Martin Family.............................

Meet: Lisa Schiltz................................................Page 3

Study: Job’s Wife...................................................Page 5

Pray: for Difficult Diagnoses.....................Page 7

Learn: When Death Visited Zelie...............Page 8

Read: Nectar in a Sieve.....................................Page 9

More than one nun has confided to me that she was forcefed a spiritual diet of the “Little Way” of St. Therese during her novitiate. It’s an acquired taste, at least for some. Although Therese is a doctor of the church and widely invoked today, her wisdom is more readily apparent after life’s experiences buffet our complacency.

The Martins weren’t exactly your average Catholic family. Both Louis Martin and Zelie Guerin attempted to join religious orders in early adulthood, and were rejected. Louis lacked the Latin scholarship necessary for the priesthood, and Zelie’s fragile health disqualified her. They met in Alençon, and recognized one another as soulmates.

That Crazy Martin Family!Louis Martin was a watchmaker by trade, and a happy bachelor. His mother had noted devout Zelie at Mass, a successful lacemaker. Zelie’s sister, a Visitandine novice, received a tearful visit from the bride as the wedding approached. Zelie mourned her dream of religious life and was fearful of the physical toll of motherhood.

Louis also was distracted by spiritual yearnings and shared Zelie’s misgivings. So, when the Martins married in 1858, they resolved to undertake a chaste lifestyle. After ten months of marriage, their parish priest ordered them to consummate the marriage.

continued on page two...

Edith Stein (St. Teresa Benedicta) was a Jew who became Catholic in 1922 after reading

the autobiography of St. Teresa of Avila.

When asked why she converted, she

wrote, “secretum meum mihi.” She became

a Carmelite in 1934, but was murdered at Auschwitz. Her feast

day is August 9.

Take a Break with Edith!

The charm of their firstborn completely changed the couple. Louis reportedly told the priest at the baptism, “This is the first time you have seen me here for a baptism, but it won’t be the last!” Mmm-hmmm. They had eight more children in thirteen years, but only five survived to adulthood: Marie, Pauline, Leonie, Celine and Therese.

Louis Martin was a modern helpmate of a husband, long before it was fashionable. Zelie supervised a cadre of more than a dozen lacemakers, in addition to competently running the household. Louis sold his business in 1871 and often traveled back and forth to Paris, visiting buyers and suppliers. Zelie kept up the business pace, even as her health failed after 1873, a testimony to her amazing energy. She worked hard!

Zelie had no time for village gossip and frittering away time in useless frivolities. She did write many letters to her siblings, and from these, we can learn of the zeal with which she mothered her brood. Although her own childhood as a military brat was unhappy and marked with a rigor of religious practice, her children experienced her joy in life and obvious pride in their beauty and intelligence.

There were plenty of worries and tears. They hired wet-nurses and servants to help them handle the domestic load. In at least one case, the wet nurse failed in her duties, and the poor infant starved to death. Reading between the lines, both Leonie and Therese had sensitive ears and Leonie had a severe learning disability with allergies. (See the historical sketch on page eight.) This isn’t heaven.

After Zelie died in 1877 from breast cancer, Louis sold the lace business and moved to Lisieux to be closer to family. The voluminous correspondence among the girls testifies to his solicitous care of them after their valiant mother’s death. They didn’t just esteem heaven because Zelie was there. The family made heaven real in their love for one another.

All five girls entered religious orders. One might worry that the girls were coached to seek the religious life that had eluded their parents. But, “the joy of the Lord was their strength.” Louis and Zelie grounded their family in the confidence of God’s mercy.

The story of the “Little Way” has spread the Martin family’s joy to millions of people! That’s a pretty good earthly return on an investment of spiritual yearning.

--Kristen West McGuire

May 2008

www.MySecretisMine.com

Mother’s Day is Pentecost this year-- May the Holy Spirit truly energize you!

May 2008

(Lisa Schiltz teaches law at the University of St. Thomas. A graduate of Yale and Columbia, she grew up in Germany. She has four children. Her son Peter has a dual diagnosis of Down’s Syndrome and pervasive development disorder, a diagnosis on the autism spectrum.)

Kristen: Are you a cradle Catholic?Lisa: Both my parents were Catholics of German and Polish descent. There were six kids and we went to Mass every Sunday and mother took us to stations during Lent. The faith was a very natural part of growing up.

My father worked as a civilian for the army after World War II in Germany. To be an American there was interesting. I got a little taste of both cultures: on base, there was very traditional parish life, while the German church in our village was older and prettier but very empty and dry.

Kristen: When did you return to the states? Lisa: When I went to college, I got hooked very early by the Catholic community at Yale. Those were some strong faith years for me. St. Thomas More House there was not my primary social group; but I had my Catholic friends.

At Columbia Law School, there were a couple of us who would see each other at Mass and scuttle back to the campus, emerging from the catacombs to resume our daily life. We didn’t talk much, and yet, the knowledge that others prayed was helpful

Kristen: Did you meet your husband in law school?Lisa: No, I practiced law for a year in Washington, DC, where I met my husband. We both were in private practice until we started teaching at Notre Dame.

Kristen: Was it difficult to make “room” for a family in your professional life?

Lisa: Every one of the choices you make as a mom involves balancing and cutting and pasting. It is unfortunate that we don’t have a system of work that permits women to focus on their family while at the same time keeping a presence in the world. Notre Dame offered a phenomenal part-time tenure track option, perfect for the early years of motherhood.

Kristen: So, you had just made a transition to teaching when you became pregnant with Peter. Tell me about your pregnancy. Lisa: Actually, I was pregnant when we were trying to decide whether to make the transition to teaching.

My experience is atypical because I chose a doctor ob-gyn who I had heard from a friend didn’t do abortions. Even so, there were some interesting things. For one, the doctor called me on vacation with the news that my “triple screen” blood test indicated a high probability of Down’s Syndrome. She tracked me down, feeling we should know right away, even though she knew abortion was not an option for us.

The next step was a level three ultrasound, which they wanted to schedule quickly, but we were in no hurry. The ultrasound started off with everyone grim and quiet. Pete looked fine in my womb; and they came to the conclusion that he didn’t have Down’s Syndrome. continued on page four...

Meet Lisa Schiltz

When God Sends a Special Child, Everything Changes


So, then they slowly began acting normal, offering to print out pictures of the baby for us, even calling him a baby.

The only way you can know for sure is amniocentesis. For some reason I felt I should do it. Even though one of my brothers is mentally retrarded, when we got that news, it was upsetting. For a week I couldn’t even put my hands on my belly. I was thinking, “Who is this stranger in me? This is it. My life is going to end!”

Kristen: Well, it is a very different prognosis. Perhaps it would be more strange not to be upset?Lisa: Well, yes. Even being pro-life, I now can understand the pressure women feel when faced with a difficult diagnosis. Some of the physical repulsion that I felt was fear, that everything in my life would have to be changed. But that wasn’t true. At the same time, though, I can understand the impulse you can’t help but feel to “make this go away.”

We went to Lourdes, and I went into the water rubbing my belly. I felt an incredible sense of community with the whole world and the people who were suffering in so many ways. I didn’t need Pete to be cured at that point. I just wanted him to be safe, and happy.

Kristen: So, did anything change?Lisa: Of course! I think if I hadn’t had Pete, there would be more of a sense that I created my kids. Petey is so clearly a mystery and a gift. I can understand my other kids; they speak my language. But he doesn’t speak. And so I gained a stronger awareness that life is a gift. When I had my youngest daughter about five years after Pete, she progressed normally. It was such a miracle to see how she learned it all so naturally.

Kristen: And you are still able to work?Lisa: Yes. Sometimes I have wondered if I should quit. The thing that keeps me working, is to be a witness to some young woman or man. They can see me still teaching, and know that despite challenges, my life didn’t end. Being public about your life is uncomfortable, and yet, you don’t know what part of it will make a difference.

May 2008

Lisa’s Favorite Prayer

O Lord, Thou knowest how

Busy I must be this day.If I forget Thee,

Do not forget me. Amen.

--Jacob Astley, England, 1579—1652

It’s not what we do, but that we do it. And yet it all has to be in context. Once at an academic meeting, philosopher Laura Garcia talked about how she worked so hard on an article, and strained every part of her brain to make it as close to perfect as possible. And then she realized that to God, that intellectual product is like the pictures that our kids draw and we put on the refrigerator! To God, our efforts are crude, but he loves them because we belong to Him.

Kristen: Oh, I love that! His love for us isn’t condescending, but truly nurturing.

Lisa: Exactly! The reason you love is not because of someone’s brain. The secret that Pete and I keep trying to articulate is that there is a sacramentality, a direct line to the supernatural in persons with disabilities. It’s easier to see when communication is an issue, as it is for Pete because he also has autism. You have to figure out a lot by other means, and that reminds you of the mystery of life. All of us are reaching for God. He is not intelligible in the terms that we usually use to filter ideas.

We think we know God. We think that He walks and talks and looks like us, but that’s not all of Him – part of Him is also manifested in the people who are in wheelchairs or are disfigured in some way The less accessible part of God, that’s the classical Jesus…that’s what I learned from the gift of my son, Peter.

-- Kristen West McGuire


May 2008

Job 1:8-12; 2:4-10; 42:10-17 And the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?” Then Satan answered the LORD, “Does Job fear God for nought? Hast thou not put a hedge about him and his house and all that he has, on every side? Thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But put forth thy hand now, and touch all that he has, and he will curse thee to thy face.” And the LORD said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your power; only upon himself do not put forth your hand.” So Satan went forth from the presence of the LORD.

(Job’s children die and his wealth disappears.)

And the LORD said to Satan, “Behold, he is in your power; only spare his life.” So Satan went forth from the presence of the LORD, and afflicted Job with loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took a potsherd with which to scrape himself, and sat among the ashes.

Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God, and die.” But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

(Job philosophizes with three onlookers. No details on his wife are recorded.)

And the LORD restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends; and the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before. Then came to him all his brothers and sisters and all who had known him before, and ate bread with him in his house; and they showed him sympathy and comforted him for all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him; and each of them gave him a piece of money and a ring of gold. And the LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning; and he had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she-asses. He had also seven sons and three daughters. And he called the name of the first Jemi’mah; and the name of the second Kezi’ah; and the name of the third Ker’en-hap’puch. And in all the land there were no women so fair as Job’s daughters; and their father gave them inheritance among their brothers. And after this Job lived a hundred and forty years, and saw his sons, and his sons’ sons, four generations. And Job died, an old man, and full of days.

Context: Why do bad things happen to righteous people? The Jews were not the first to ask this question. Because they lacked a pantheon of capricious gods and goddesses to blame misfortune on, Satan is presented here as the architect of evil in the world.

Study: Job’s WifeCopes While Job Philosophizes


The Catholic Edition of the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1966 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

May 2008

Translation: Hebrew scholars point to the book of Job as the most difficult to translate in the entire Old Testament. The ancient manuscripts are conflicting, and include rare words that appear in no other surviving Hebrew texts. Translators must make educated guesses in many instances. Although it is assumed to have been written after the Babylonian exile because of the content, there is no consensus on its composition date.

Vocabulary: Curse God: The Hebrew term, “barak,” meant to kneel. It is used in Job 2:9 as a euphemism, sarcastically. To “curse” God was to die, according to the Hebrews.

blessed : In Job 42:12, the Lord “blesses” Job using the same term as Job’s wife: barak !

Meditation

Job’s wife has an unfair role in this passion play. She shows up as a “bit” character to bear seven sons and three daughters...twice. Her only line is, “Curse God and die.” And in the middle, Job laments that she has turned her face from him. Was Job’s wife a helpmate, or not?

Job gently rebukes her. The implication seems to be that she is wondering what hidden sins are revealed by their suffering. And yet, she is also reminding him that his suffering is real.

After this interchange, his words finally begin to address his misfortunes. Job’s wife forced him to deal with reality, not his idealistic hopes in Yahweh’s omnipotence.

What are we to make of her silence throughout the rest of the dialogue? Women in ancient Israel were not the authors of midrash. The absence of feminine wisdom in this book would not have bothered them.

And yet, it bothers me. Do you suppose she scrounged up refreshments for him and his philosophy mates? If he truly was a righteous man, I’m sure this couple shared a few words betwixt and between soliloquies.

This isn’t heaven, for sure. Job’s wife was not encouraging him to denounce God, but insisted that he ditch the rose-colored glasses. We don’t know all the details. But I sure would like to know what portions of his thoughts came from her.

Discussion Questions

1. Many women are thrust into the role of helping family and friends to make sense of the misfortunes of life. It requires a balance between acknowledging reality and hoping in unseen deliverance. How do we build hope?

2. Job’s fortunes were restored. What does it take to develop the tenacity of Job, praising God in both times of plenty and times of want? Where are you now? Did a woman help you get there?



Seventh Annual World Day of Prayer for the Sanctification

of Priests and Spiritual Maternity is

May 30, 2008, the feast of the Sacred Heart of

Jesus.

Bible Study, continued

Visit http://www.worldpriestday.com/

When chronic medical problems are first diagnosed, the family’s pain can be overwhelming. Parents must navigate immediate medical treatment options and financial considerations. Time and logistics can morph into enemies, as families juggle the needs of the patient amid work and regular household duties.

It may not be possible to truly understand someone else’s experience. When seeking to offer help, be receptive to their stated needs and guard their privacy.

Try to treat the child and his or her family as normally as possible. When a family is exhausted by the treatment regimen and tired of incessant questions, they cherish the small, normal routines of life that are augmented by the kindness of others.

No matter what the prognosis may be, your prayers are golden to these families. Be generous with them!

CaringBridge® connects family and friends during a critical illness, treatment or recovery. A CaringBridge website is personal, private and available 24/7. It eases the burden of keeping family and friends informed, and allows distant loved ones’ to send messages of support.www.caringbridge.org

Disaboom helps persons with disabilities to network, share experiences, find correct information, increase community sensitivity to their challenges, and expand the options for all persons to find meaning and support in their lives.www.disaboom.com

Be Not Afraid is an online outreach to parents who have received a poor or difficult prenatal diagnosis. www.benotafraid.net

Wheelie Catholic regularly serves up thoughtful posts on life with disabilities.http://wheeliecatholic.blogspot.com/

Lord, We Pray:* For all children with chronic medical conditions, that their suffering would be mitigated by the love and support they encounter in every person they meet;

* For the parents and siblings of these children, that they would find their emotional, physical, financial, social and spiritual needs met;

* For the doctors, nurses, therapists, educators and social service personnel, that their work would be blessed with success;

* For friends and neighbors, that their attempts to help would be generous and at the same time, “care-filled”;

* For a positive resolution of misunderstandings, and greater sensitivity to the needs of special families everywhere;

* That, through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin, who understands the pain of watching a child suffer, the gifts of hope and strength would be given to each family member as the need arises.

Amen -- Kristen West McGuire

May 2008

Pray: for Families Adjustingto a Difficult Diagnosis


May 2008

On February 24, 1877, Sr. Marie-Dosithee of the Visitandine convent in Le Mans died of tuberculosis. Her sister, Zelie Martin, had just realized that her breast cancer was terminal. Of her five girls, Leonie worried her the most. How could she face leaving her rebellious, difficult daughter?

Small Leonie had suffered from eczema and had a frail constitution. Where her older sisters were pretty and vivacious like their mother, Leonie was easily offended and struggled with schoolwork from the start. She was the boisterous sister, a tomboy with the bruises to prove it. The family struggled to make peace with her.

Her closest sister was Helene, who tragically died at the age of five in 1870. Leonie was only seven at the time, and deeply mourned her loss. She was removed from boarding school several times, even from the Visitation school. Her aunt had the only truly positive effect on her, and she opened her heart to her. So Leonie and her mother together felt the impact of the loss of Sr. Marie-Dosithee.

Zelie was no stranger to sorrow— little Helene and three other babies had died before this fateful year. And yet, because of her health concerns, she was even more distressed when her sister died. Leonie and Zelie both begged the saintly aunt to bring their petitions directly to the Blessed Virgin in heaven.

Desperately, Zelie undertook a trip to Lourdes accompanied by her elder daughters, where the exhausted mother prayed more for Leonie than her own cure. They had a miserable time, and Zelie returned in even worse physical condition. Thus, the following turn of events were seen as a gift from heaven.

Quite by accident, Zelie discovered that one of their maids was emotionally and physically abusing Leonie. When she obeyed her parents, she was subjected to beatings. When she helped the maid do her chores, she was left alone. This maid thought she was doing the family a favor by making poor Leonie “behave.”

Zelie was horrified. The demands of her lace-making business had forced her to hire several household helpers, and this maid had been with the family for over ten years. Poor Leonie had been abused for all this time. While her temperament and learning disabilities were real impediments, it was easy to see how circumstances had conspired to make her life more difficult than it had to be.

Zelie firmly discharged the maid, and set about a gentle conquering of her daughter’s heart. It didn’t take long for Leonie to respond, and Zelie was amazed and humbled by the change in her rebellious child.

Whether it was a bona fide miracle is open to interpretation. However, it’s enough for me to know that God provides reconciliation before and after death.


Learn: Death Visits the Martin Household


May 2008

(Signet Classics, 2002), 208 pp., $6.95

Markandaya chronicles a woman who loves despite the cost. We hear the story through the memories of Rukmani, a peasant woman in early 20th century India. The fourth daughter of a village head man, Rukmani’s father teaches her to read and write despite accusations of impracticality. Rukmani’s parents arrange a wedding to a man she has never seen before, who lives in a town she has never visited. “…they could not find me a rich husband, and married me to a tenant farmer who was poor in everything but in love and care for me, his wife, whom he took at the age of twelve.”

The poverty of her newlywed husband shocks Rukmani. Their home consists of a two room mud hut next to rice paddies on rented ground. Her husband senses her dismay and attempts to comfort her, but she feigns tiredness so as not to hurt his feelings. She consoles herself by looking for what is good in her new life. Despite being strangers on their wedding day, their care for one another is considerate and constant.

Markandaya illustrates India’s problems through Rukamani and Nathan’s story. They eventually have one daughter, Irawaddy, and anxiously wait six more years for another child. Rukmani ceases to hope in the fertility charm from her mother and, as a last resort, consults an English doctor. Unsure of her husband’s reaction to the foreigner, she keeps her medical care to herself. She is blessed with six sons in rapid succession. The blessing of sons is huge, but so are the financial responsibilities. When the rice harvest fails, their food is stretched thin. The growing boys are not enthusiastic about working on their father’s rice paddy, with the profits benefitting the landlord. Their family is caught in a hand-to-mouth situation, and often the hand comes up empty.

Poverty is the major antagonist in Nectar in a Sieve, but the politics of industrialization, gender, and philosophical passivity are also addressed by Markandaya. The opening of a western style tannery in the village brings mixed blessings. The villagers are taken advantage of and the price of food goes up for everyone. After attempting to form a union at the tannery, Rukmani’s two oldest sons are forced to move away to find work. Their third son disappears after moving to the city to work as a servant. The fourth son is killed by a tannery guard while foraging for food. Their daughter’s marriage fails because of infertility; she eventually resorts to prostitution to feed her youngest starving brother. Another failed crop results in the eviction of Nathan and Rukmani from their land. There are no convenient endings.

How could a novel like this have sold a million copies? The stark, deadly reality of poverty is shocking and uncomfortable. Nectar in a Sieve succeeds because it is a love story; a beautiful, truthful, straight forward, honest memoir. The heroic absence of bitterness, blame, or self-pity shines through Rukmani’s narrative. This is an enlightening, engaging novel about the human capacity for love.

Discussion Questions: 1. Kenny, the British doctor, speaks to Rukmani: “You must cry out if you want help. … Aquiescent imbeciles, do you think spiritual grace comes from being in want or suffering?” Rukmani thinks, “...what if we gave in to our troubles at every step! ...for is not a man’s spirit given to him to rise above his misfortunes?...What profit is it to bewail that which has always been and cannot change?” Is Kenny justified in his accusation of false virtue? Do Rukmani’s cultural philosophies maintain her dignity at the cost of excessive passivity?

READ: Nectar in a sieveby Kamala Markandaya


Secretum Meum Mihi Press

Kristen West McGuire, Editor in ChiefBeverly Mantyh, Associate EditorJessica Maleski, Webmaster

Editorial Advisory Board

Alexandra BurghardtMeredith Gould, Ph.D.Genevieve KinekeMargaret McGuireSandra MieselAlicia V. Torres

Secretum Meum Mihi is a monthly periodical dedicated to fostering the spirituality of Catholic women. Subscriptions are $12.95/year for PDF download, and $24.95/yr for U.S. Mail delivery. (International mail delivery $29.95). Address all correspondence to: Secretum Meum Mihi P.O. Box 1501 Great Falls, MT 59403 [email protected]

Coming Next Month:Hans Urs von Balthasar and Adrienne von Speyr

Meet: Dr. Michelle Gonzalez: The Gospel for Women

Study: Wisdom in the Book of Proverbs

Pray: For Women in Academia

Learn: Adrienne on a Railway Bridge over the Rhine River

Read: The Four Quartets, by T.S. Eliot

May 2008

“It is good to be aware that we have our citizenship in Heaven and that the

saints of Heaven are our fellow citizens and fellow-members of the household. That way one can tolerate those things

more easily quae sunt super terrum (that exist on earth).”

-- Edith Stein, in a letter to Dr. Walter Warnach,an editor and philosopher in Cologne

translated from the German by Susanne Batzdorff

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Discussion Questions, Continued

2. As the sorrow and pain of Rukmani’s story increases, her voice becomes more and more detached, almost cold. Does this make Rukmani’s character unsympathetic? Consider this especially in the context of Kuti, her youngest son.

3. India’s government has begun a program that pays $3,000 for families to birth and raise daughters. (More girls are aborted than boys in India.) Nectar in a Sieve was published in 1954, before abortion was legal. Does the inordinate number of female abortions logically follow the issues of undervaluing female children raised by Markandaya?

-- Beverly Mantyh

smmvolume2#9

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